A Gift For Grief

A Gentle Note: This episode contains discussion of mental health struggles, trauma, and the death of a young person. Please listen with care and seek support if you need it. In today’s episode, I’m joined by Marianne Griffiths, a mother who shares her experience of losing her adult daughter - first through years of separation and struggle, and later through her heartbreaking sudden death in 2019 from SUDEP.  SUDEP stands for Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy. It refers to the sudden, unexplained death of someone with epilepsy who was otherwise healthy, where no other clear cause is found after investigation. In this deeply moving and important conversation, Marianne shares the story of her daughter, Abi, a young woman who spent much of her life fighting to be understood, supported, and believed. From an early age, Abi faced learning difficulties, mental health challenges, and repeated trauma. Her family spent years navigating education systems, social services, and mental health support in search of the right care. Along the way, there were moments of hope, heartbreak, and resilience. This is a conversation about unconditional love, advocacy, and the urgent need to listen to vulnerable voices before it’s too late. In This Episode, We Explore: Marianne’s journey as a mother navigating complex systems Abi’s early life and the challenges she faced The impact of separation when a child is taken into care Living with ambiguous grief and loss The reality of grieving twice Advocacy within education, social care, and mental health services The importance of being heard, seen, and believed Remembering Abi and the legacy she leaves behind Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Moving house is one of the most stressful things we can do. When you’ve spent 28 years building a life in one place, leaving becomes even harder - especially after losing a loved one who shared that space with you. As I prepare to leave the home we’ve lived in for nearly three decades, I’ve been reflecting on how our places and possessions quietly hold the stories of our lives. In this episode, I share what it’s like to sort through decades of memories, how difficult it is to let go, and how we begin to decide what we carry with us into the next chapter. Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it. You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In today’s episode, we explore a form of grief that is so often minimised, misunderstood, or pushed aside: the loss of a beloved pet.   I’m joined by Debbie McLeod, known as The Midlife Mystic Mentor. Debbie is a counsellor, hypnotherapist, medium, spiritual guide, and the author of Best Friends Forever: Practical Steps and Wisdom to Ease the Pain of Pet Loss. Her work gently bridges emotional support with spiritual understanding, helping people navigate some of life’s most tender experiences. Together, we dive into why losing a pet can feel so devastating, how to honour that grief, and the deep, spiritual connections many of us feel with our animals.   Debbie's book: https://debbiemcleod.co.uk/services Connect with Debbie: instagram.com/midlifemysticmentor Facebook - Midlife Mystic Mentor https://www.facebook.com/DebbieandMollie/   Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it. You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In today’s deeply moving episode, I’m joined in the studio by Helen Smith mum to Evelyn, her beautiful daughter who tragically died when she was just seven years old. Evelyn’s death was particularly heartbreaking, because it was something that could have been prevented. Since that unimaginable loss, Helen has been learning to live with both grief, trauma and PTSD and her loss has shaped every part of her life. Yet from that deep heartbreak, Helen has created something truly special; a charity called Evelyn’s Gift, which shares kindness and compassion in Evelyn’s memory. Through this work, Helen has found small moments of light and a sense of purpose. In this episode, Helen opens up about: What life was like before Evelyn died The events leading up to her daughter’s death and the devastating realisation that it was avoidable The long, painful journey of seeking answers through an inquest and civil litigation The ongoing fight for truth, accountability, and change How Evelyn’s Gift was born from grief, and how it continues to spread kindness in Evelyn’s name We also talk about the challenges of medical trust and accountability, sharing personal reflections from my own experience with my son Matthew’s illness and the haunting “what ifs” that so many bereaved parents live with. During our conversation, I also highlight the story of Jessica Brady, a 27-year-old engineer whose preventable death inspired ‘Jess’s Rule’, a vital reminder to doctors to take action when patients repeatedly present with the same symptoms. Helen’s courage, honesty, and compassion shine through every word. Her story is not just about loss, it’s about turning pain into purpose, finding meaning through kindness, and keeping her daughter’s spirit alive in the most beautiful way. So grab yourself a cuppa (and maybe a box of tissues) and sit back as Helen shares her powerful story and one that will stay with you long after the episode ends. Connect with Helen through her wonderful charity www.evelynsgift.co.uk Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it. You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Whether your loss was sudden or expected, the first days and weeks can feel surreal, like the world is still spinning while you’re standing completely still. Louise shares her own honest and tender experience of losing her son Matthew, offering listeners reassurance that every reaction in grief is a normal one. This episode explores: What those first hours and days after a loss can feel like The shock, numbness, and disbelief that often protect us in the beginning Why anticipatory grief doesn’t make the final moment any easier How emotions in early grief move in waves - sometimes tsunamis The fog, exhaustion, and confusion of that first week The strange push-and-pull of practical tasks in the middle of heartbreak The loneliness that can appear even when you’re surrounded by people The moment when the world seems to 'move on' while your grief is still raw The importance of glimmers, those tiny sparks of relief, laughter, or peace Why healing isn’t about forgetting, but about growing around your grief This episode reminds listeners that grief has no timeline. There is no right way to feel. Early grief is not meant to be solved - it is meant to be survived, one breath and one step at a time. Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it. You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this solo episode, I explore a side of grief that is often overlooked but profoundly important: the way grief shows up in the body. We tend to think of grief as emotional or psychological - but our bodies feel it just as deeply. From exhaustion and sleep changes to physical tension, aches, heaviness, digestive issues, and that sense of being stuck, the body often speaks before the mind can make sense of what’s happening. Drawing on personal experience, therapeutic insight, and the somatic wisdom explored in The Body Keeps the Score, Louise gently explains how grief impacts the nervous system and why these physical symptoms are not signs of weakness, but natural responses to profound loss. In this episode, you’ll hear about: How grief affects the body Stress responses like elevated cortisol, racing heartbeat, and weakened immunity Physical expressions of grief: tightness, heaviness, insomnia, aches, digestion changes Why symptoms like globus sensation (a lump in the throat) can appear during grief How tension, pain, and sensation can reflect emotional states Why the body remembers what the mind tries to manage I lead listeners through a gentle body scan, inviting awareness of breath, tension, and sensation without judgment, without needing to fix anything. Somatic tools that help grief move Gentle yoga for grounding, breath awareness, and emotional softening Breathwork to calm the nervous system and create emotional space Somatic therapy to help release stuck grief Everyday movement, as simple as walking or swaying, to help your body process loss I share my own personal experience of using EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and EMDR therapy. Somatic tools that help to regulate the nervous system, release stuck emotion, and reconnect with a sense of inner safety. Recommended Reading: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it. You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I speak with Vanessa May, a London-based writer, holistic grief coach, and certified grief educator. As a bereaved mother and widow, Vanessa has endured more loss than most could imagine in one lifetime, yet she’s transformed her pain into purpose. After losing her son Harry, her husband Anthony, and her father in quick succession, Vanessa dedicated her life to helping others navigate the landscape of grief. Known for her raw honesty, compassion, and wisdom, Vanessa embodies the 'wounded healer', reminding us that grief isn’t something to get over, it’s something we learn to live alongside. This episode dives deep into the spiritual beliefs that continue to support her, including soul contracts and signs from the other side. Books: Finding Meaning by David Kessler Journey of Souls by Michael Newton It's OK That You're Not OK by Megan Devine Groups: The Compassionate Friends: https://www.tcf.org.uk/professional/ Therapy: Havening: https://www.havening.org/ EMDR Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing Breath Work Yoga for grief Connect with Vanessa: Author website: https://www.vanessamay.co.uk/ Holistic Grief Coaching: https://wellbeingandnutrition.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/may.wellbeing.griefsupport/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/holisticgriefsupport When Grief Takes Everything: A Survival Guide To Devastating Loss: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1068196106/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.FTjfx4BGEGh5OtMwWsPp3QyzSIQ13pdbJDMjYetAwlXGjHj071QN20LucGBJIEps.oR8DgquK--qkSNuoU9m646vmb259bZaIqyEVSJyWt8c&qid=1760187628&sr=1-1 Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it. You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of A Gift For Grief, I'm diving into a question many people who are grieving may think about: "How do I know if what I’m feeling is grief, or if it’s depression?" Both can feel heavy, isolating, and overwhelming - but they’re not the same thing. I'll talk through some of the ways grief shows up differently from depression, where they sometimes overlap, and why it matters to understand the distinction. This isn’t about putting labels on your pain, it’s about giving yourself language, compassion, and clarity. My hope is that by the end, you’ll feel less alone in whatever you’re experiencing, and more supported in finding the help you need. If you’ve ever wondered whether your grief is “normal,” or worried it might be something more, this episode offers gentle guidance and reassurance. In this episode, I’ll talk about: •What makes grief unique. •What sets depression apart. •The places where they overlap. •And most importantly, how to recognize when it might be time to reach out for extra support. Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates https://silenceofsuicidesos.org.uk/contact-us/ https://www.samaritans.org/ https://www.cruse.org.uk/get-support/ If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it. You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After early retirement and the heartbreaking loss of both her parents, Sue Williams turned to creativity and spirituality as a way to heal.  What started as journaling soon transformed into poetry, eventually leading to her award-winning book, I Am Unique. Since then, Sue has gone on to create oracle cards, publish anthologies amplifying women’s voices, and inspire countless others to embrace creativity as a tool for self-discovery, healing, and transformation, especially in midlife and beyond. Sue’s story is a moving reminder that even in the depths of loss, courage and creativity can help us reconnect with ourselves and what we’re here to share with the world. Recommended reading: The Artists Way by Julia Cameron Sue Williams books: Believe You Can Succeed Believe You Can Face Your Fears and Confidently Claim a Life You Love Believe You Can Live a Life You Love at 50+ Golden Threads Women's Shared Wisdom from the Tapestry of Life  I Am Unique Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it. You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this powerful and deeply important episode, we open up a conversation that many still find difficult to have about suicide, and bereavement by suicide. I’m joined by representatives from the incredible charity SOS Silence of Suicide, whose mission is to challenge stigma, encourage open dialogue, and ensure that no one feels they have to suffer in silence. Their message is simple yet profound: Stop the Silence, Start the Conversation. Together, we explore: The importance of speaking openly about mental health and suicidal thoughts How silence can be more dangerous than the struggle itself Support for those bereaved by suicide How SOS is working to create safe, non-judgmental spaces for anyone in crisis The transformative power of compassion, listening, and shared humanity We all open up about our own personal experiences and this episode may be sensitive for some listeners, so please take care while listening. If you or someone you know is struggling, please know that support is available — you are not alone. Learn more about SOS Silence of Suicide: Website: silenceofsuicidesos.org.uk Facebook: SOS Silence of Suicide   Instagram: @sossilenceofsuicide Twitter: @SOS_Initiatives  If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it. You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief. Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of A Gift For Grief, Narinder Moore reflects on the very different ways grief has touched her life. Her Father was bedridden for five years and died in 2008. Narinder explained how she experienced a mixture of sadness and relief - comforted by knowing he was no longer suffering. Years later, her grief took on a new shape. The sudden loss of her eldest brother Gurjit in 2021, followed by the death of her younger brother Jagdip in 2023. This brought pain of a different kind - sharper, more unexpected, and deeply disorienting. Narinder opens up about how the Sikh community stepped forward during these times of loss and she shares the important role of Sikh customs and traditions in mourning. Members of the Sikh community came together to surround her family with prayer and support. Those who were able to read from the scriptures brought the sacred words into the house, filling the home with comfort and reverence. The presence of the scriptures offered both spiritual strength and a reminder that she was not alone in her grief. This heartfelt conversation explores how grief is never the same twice, and how faith, culture, and community can both comfort and challenge us in times of loss. Connect with Narinder through her Facebook group or Facebook page, both called - The Live Well Learning Hub.  Narinder's book 'Reflections' A Guided Journal: is available from Amazon. Recommended reading: Anita Moorjani Dying to Be Me Bill Kirkpatrick: Going Forth The Miracle Morning: Hal Elrod A Gift For Grief: Louise Bates Donna Ashworth: Growing Brave Connect With Your Host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it. You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode of A Gift For Grief, I talk about the words we use around loss. So often, people mean well but don’t know what to say - and sometimes the phrases we’ve all heard, like “they’re in a better place” or “everything happens for a reason”, can sting more than they soothe. I share some reflections on the language of grief: what feels supportive, what can feel blunt, and how even simple, honest words can make a big difference. I also explore how grief can shift the way we speak and listen to each other. If you’ve ever struggled to find the right thing to say - or wished someone had said something different, this conversation is for you. Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it. You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this gentle and heartfelt solo episode, I reflect on the first year of grief and the many emotional “firsts” that come with loss: The first birthday, Christmas, holiday, anniversary, and even the first unexpected moment of laughter. I share personal stories, including how my husband Bill and I honour our son Matthew’s birthday, and why we’ve chosen sunshine over tradition when it comes to Christmas. I also explore the emotional weight of anticipation, the quiet moments that catch us off guard, and the small, meaningful rituals that help keep love present in our everyday lives. This episode is for anyone navigating the painful first year, or supporting someone through theirs, or simply trying to understand the complex, unpredictable journey of grief. You’ll be gently reminded that: There’s no right way to grieve—only your way It’s okay to feel joy, guilt, longing, and laughter all at once Even in grief, there are glimmers of love and connection If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it. You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief. Connect with your host Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Grief and loss are experiences we never ask for but they shape us in profound ways. In this deeply personal episode, I open up about my own journey through grief: the loss that shattered me, the heartbreak I never expected, and the surprising gifts that emerged from the pain, such as clarity, resilience, compassion, and a deeper connection to life and much more. This conversation is an honest invitation to see grief as more than something to “get through.” Instead, what if we approached it as a sacred journey, a path that, while brutally painful, can transform us in ways nothing else can? Whether you’re grieving a loved one, navigating a major life change, or supporting someone through loss, this episode will help you: Understand the hidden lessons and gifts in grief Find meaning and hope during painful seasons Embrace healing while honoring your loss Grief can break us but it can also open us. If you’ve ever wondered how to keep going when life falls apart, or how to show up for someone who’s hurting, this episode is for you. Connect With Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it. You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode I dive deep into the classic concept of the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But are these stages really universal? And do they truly reflect your unique grief journey? Join me as I explore: The origins of the five stages and why they’ve become so popular. Common misconceptions and myths around grief stages. How grief is a deeply personal experience that doesn’t always follow a set path. Ways to recognise and honour your own unique process of healing. Tips for supporting yourself and others through grief, beyond the stages. Whether you’re grieving a loss or supporting someone who is, this episode will help you find freedom from expectations and embrace your own authentic grief. Tune in and discover why your grief story deserves to be honoured on its own terms.   Recommended reading: On Death & Dying by Elizabeth Kubler Ross   Connect with Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates If this episode moved you, please consider leaving a review and sharing it with someone who might need it. You help this show reach others walking their own path through grief. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“How many children do you have?” It’s a question that comes up easily in conversation, often asked with good intentions and without much thought. But for those of us who have experienced the loss of a child, it can bring a wave of emotion. It touches a tender part of us, stirring grief, love, and the quiet reality of what could have been. In this episode, I explore the emotional weight this question can carry. I speak honestly about the pause that comes before answering, and the personal journey of navigating between truth and emotional safety. I share my own experience with this question, and offer reflections on how we can hold space, for ourselves and for others when loss is part of the story. This episode is for anyone who carries grief quietly, who continues to love a child no longer here, and who wishes their experience could be acknowledged without needing to explain. In this episode, I reflect on: The emotional impact behind a seemingly simple question What it’s like to parent a child who is no longer living Why grief often lives in the things left unsaid How to honour our children while protecting our own emotional boundaries The unique challenges of invisible motherhood or fatherhood Connect with Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, I am delighted to welcome my dear friend, Catherine Williamson, as my guest. This episode reflects the quiet, often unacknowledged grief that follows the end of a relationship. Unlike death, there’s no formal goodbye—just the lingering presence of memories, lost dreams, and shared routines. It speaks to the pain of mourning someone who is still alive, the emotional confusion it brings, and the lack of visible closure. Yet, within this sorrow lies a potential gift: the opportunity for healing, reflection, and growth. The message is one of compassion and solidarity for anyone navigating heartbreak—not just from a person’s absence, but from the end of love itself. It invites us to honour our grief, not fix it, and to gently uncover meaning amid the loss.   If you are grieving someone who is still alive, if your heart is heavy with unanswered questions and silent prayers, know that you are not alone. Let us walk this path together, with open hearts and gentle hands, as we seek to find the gift within our grief. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might find it helpful. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review – it helps us reach more people navigating the journey of grief. Recommended reading: The journey by Brandon Bays  The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield Permission to screw up by Kristen Hadeed Connect with Catherine Thompson: https://linktr.ee/catherinewilliamson Connect with Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates #relationships #breakup #heartbreak Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Grief doesn't adhere to a schedule. It comes in waves, in quiet moments, and sometimes in the most unexpected ways. My guest today Vicki Holton has walked through many forms of grief, each unique in its own weight. Now, she faces a new and deeply painful chapter: the anticipatory grief of knowing her son lives with a life-limiting heart condition. In this heartfelt conversation, we explore the complexities of grieving—what it looks like, how it evolves, and what might lie ahead. While this episode holds sorrow, it is also woven with hope, strength, and unexpected light. Recommended Book: Love You Forever by Robert Munsch If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might find it helpful. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review – it helps us reach more people navigating the journey of grief. Connect with Vicki through her socials: Vicki Holton Instagram: AEBWELLNESS Connect with Louise Bates: https://linktr.ee/louisebates Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this heartfelt and eye-opening episode we welcome Grant Harris, a gifted medium who has dedicated his life to helping people find peace, closure, and healing through spiritual connection. As someone who bridges the gap between the physical world and the spirit world, Grant shares how mediumship can be a powerful tool in the grieving process. He is known for his compassionate, grounded approach to spiritual connection. He works with individuals and groups to help them find comfort and clarity after loss and is passionate about helping people understand that they are never truly alone. Together, we explore how connecting with loved ones who have died can offer validation, comfort, and sometimes even the permission to move forward. Whether you're a sceptic, a believer, or somewhere in between, this conversation offers compassionate insight into how mediumship can provide hope for those navigating the pain of loss. What We Cover in This Episode: What a medium is and how Grant discovered his abilities Common misconceptions and fears around mediumship Real-life stories of how spirit communication has helped the grieving How validation from spirit can ease guilt, unanswered questions, and unresolved emotions Tips for those who are curious or seeking a session with a medium The importance of ethical, compassionate practice in spiritual work Why It Matters: Grief is often filled with lingering "what ifs," regrets, and a yearning for continued connection. Mediumship, when practiced responsibly, can offer reassurance that our loved ones are still with us in spirit and that love truly transcends death. Grant’s work illustrates how these messages can become a profound part of the healing journey. Checkout his website: www.grantharrismedium.com If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might find it helpful. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review – it helps us reach more people navigating the journey of grief. https://linktr.ee/louisebates Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Clare Spiers has dedicated her career to supporting individuals navigating the complex journey of grief, drawing from her own diverse experiences with loss. Having personally faced various forms of grief, she understands the profound impact it can have on one’s life. Through her own therapeutic journey, Clare was able to address and resolve her unresolved grief, ultimately becoming a certified Grief Recovery Specialist. In her practice, Clare offers innovative walk-and-talk grief groups and retreats, providing a compassionate space for individuals to process their emotions in a supportive environment. Many of the most effective therapists are those who have endured significant emotional challenges themselves; they transform their pain into purpose. Clare exemplifies this transformative journey, using her experiences to guide others toward healing and hope. Website: www.peopleboost.co.uk Books recommended: The Grief Recovery Handbook by John James and Russell Friedman If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might find it helpful. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review – it helps us reach more people navigating the journey of grief. https://linktr.ee/louisebates Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.