A GoodDid

Infidelity has over the years gradually almost been normalised as part of common culture due to its frequency of occurrence in our current society. So much so that the number of broken unions as a result of infidelity/adultery has continuously increased over the years yet nothing is being done to curb the thirst for infidelity. In fact despite such increase in failed relationships for cheating, more people tend to practice it knowing fully well what the outcome might be. The first step towards fixing a problem is understanding its root cause so, In this episode, we look at 8 common reasons why people cheat in the first place and then attempt to help by suggesting measures to counteract such positions.

On this episode, I attempt to real delve deep into how to beef up your goals in such a way that they carry enough weight. Weight enough in them selves to spur you into taking action and almost guaranteeing yourself a favourable outcome! Setting goals is not the end. How do we make sure that we set goals and take the necessary action? Here is how...

A lot of people in relationships today have it completely wrong. To think being submissive places you in a subservient role to your partner but that’s not the case. It only demonstrates your understanding of your duties within that relationship not just for you but for the union to growth and the bond you share to get even stronger. What does being submissive mean to you and once you know how do you pass that message across to the younger generations without it being tainted by any bias but the true desire to lead the right way.

Words are powerful and it has taken till this day as time to really appreciate just how powerful they are. It’s been evident all through history... words led to wars, words brought peace, words started and ended movements. Knowing how powerful they are, how about we only aimed at using them for good starting from an individual level! Let our words to others come from a good place, love and compassion... and then see where we go from there! On this episode I like many have done remind you of just how powerful our words are and how much of a difference we can make with the right words...

It’s has become a common word on the lips of plenty of Africans these days but not for no reason. In this episode, attempt to dismantle this perceived xenophobic attacks as not what they seem to be but much more... dive in to get my point of view on the subject! You will find it’s quite interesting...

At this stage, I’m taking you through the finishing touches of your confidence building journey. It is important to remember though that, this is only part of a journey that lasts a life time. You will always face a challenge tougher than the one before in your quest to improve yourself as a human. These are just tools to guide you towards growth. The most important thing is you deciding to do something about your short comings. So, the first step is identifying that you need help and actively wanting to do something about it. Then and only then can these tools be of any use to you. These are the final four steps in my 10 steps towards building confidence series. Hope they have been of great use to you and have also inspired you to want to help others with the same predicament. Practice, practice and keep practicing. There is always room for improvement. Thanks for listening and good luck in your journey.

How often do you judge yourself? If you are anything like me, once, twice, thrice/four times every hour or so. “Who is your biggest critic?” You or some other... I know I am my biggest critic. You ever tied having a conversation with him/her? Try it. How many times have you challenged yourself in the last 72 hours? What do you tell yourself every time you are about to attempt something new, go after a goal or achieve an outcome? You may not have been genetically wired to have confidence but like every muscle in your body, it can definitely be built over time...

Here, I put together some active steps to take towards building your confidence. A little guide to break out of self destructive patterns that only feed the beast. You will witness three active and valuable steps you can take in order to start to reconstruct how you approach and handle the voice in your head, the same voice that tells you you aren’t good enough, you can’t do it, you do not deserve it, you are too small, this is bigger than you, you do not have the skill set or fortitude to complete the task. A way to start changing the narrative for yourself and from within as Confidence is built from within contrary to what you have been telling yourself. It’s not something you are necessarily bourn with neither is your lack of confidence or shortage of it but a combination of externally implemented doctrine. These first three steps allow you gradually build a new set of beliefs, beliefs about yourself and your capabilities and actively leads you into a new dawn of taking action without fear of the out come; beliefs that will gradually transform you from a scared and action less thinker into a doer. If you are not already subscribed, please follow the link to listen and subscribe to the podcast or find it on apple podcast, anchor, google podcast, iheart radio, stitcher and other podcast apps. check out my podcast https://anchor.fm/divinefonye

Majority of our daily activities are driven by the auto pilot part our brains... sometimes we already know what we are doing that we take a break and let our brains doing subconscious do the driving. Like good morning to the bae, brushing our teeth, making breakfast or what to have for breakfast, good dropping off the kids at school, what we do when we get to our places of work and our reactions to almost every experience throughout are day which is convenient but can sometimes be dangerous that when something challenging comes along leaving the reaction to our subconscious could only make things worst. In this episode, I share one of such challenging experiences where I have actively will myself to make the right reactive decisions to the challenges life is throwing at me while witnessing a most disturbing yet real life situation. We all know the quote “you never know how something feels until it happens to you” and I am paraphrasing here... sometimes we a quick to judge others’ reactions to difficult situations without really giving them the benefit of doubt. Bottom line in order to truly overcome, we have to be present! “Headspace” if actually a real expression is something I coined to describe the mind’s presence in such situations. Being present is paramount. It’s amazing the percentage of effectiveness we will achieve at decision making if we just stopped and gave ourselves (brains) the chance to work things out before reacting. Some juicy/real ‘stuff’ here... check out the episode 17 A GoodDid podcast...

It has almost become a culture, the belief that if we chase it long enough, we’ll catch it or that if we wait long enough, it’ll come to us or that something or someone is bringing it to us. In all cases we are almost completely left out of the equation but to receive. Well I have news for us all; we already have it, all we have to do is find a trigger for it, find a way to ignite it (that which is already within us). We have control. We just need to wake up to the realisation that we are solely responsible for our happiness... Not her or him or them or it. Find out just how much control we have over this stuff and start practicing the triggers. Listen and be empowered! Go be happy.

I’ve come to learn that the further failures we experience in life, our inability to break out of a circle of “fails” and continues fall into that dark hole that’s synonymous with “ill-luck” is also down to how we respond to the challenges we’ve just experienced. Others punish you for your actions but how much of the punishment comes from those we have wrong? How much of it is self inflicted? How much of it is responsible for the current and constant misery and self abuse? What are the symptoms? How do we know it is responsible for our constant self degradation? When is it enough? How do we break out of that cycle? How do We know it’s time to grow forward? Is pain part of the process? How much of it is painful? What happens after ? Check out this episode for a guideline to empower yourself with the will to make a change #inyourlife

So, we often play down the importance of sex in our relationships not because it’s not all that important but because of our thoughts on the moral implications and what the topic represents. Men don’t want to even go there to dare think or even harbour the thought that they might not be able to satisfy you in bed and women (the emotional creatures that they are) don’t want to hurt their men’s feelings by telling them the truth about the sex they just had! Which explains the existence of such a thing as ‘faking it’. Who are we fooling? This and more on today’s podcast... check it out!

There is an old saying, and I am paraphrasing here; “we are a sum of the company we keep” our values, morals, beliefs, ambitions, views, opinions and projections are reflected in the people around us. Love, truth, support, strength, loyalty and oneness are only a hand full of what we look to those around us for. 40% of what we think and do can be influenced by the company we keep. A call to really examine ourselves and our relationships... we as humans are evolving into a ‘no bullshit’ era and you don’t want to be left behind.. Choose your friends wisely and if they chose you, make sure you are worth it!

“ I know what I’m doing” Do you really... “I it doesn’t look good” To who?, “I heard that” who from?; we have either heard or used one or all of these phrases at some point to justify our actions, choices and decisions both to ourselves and others... we probably still do but who are we really trying to impress? Ourselves/society? What do we tell ourselves is the reason we do what we do? Subscribe, and weigh in on the conversation. Leave a comment, rate and contribute if you feel like the message got through to you. You are not alone in this...

A closer look at the GoodDid podcast, where we are, where we’re going. How we got here, what’s to look forward to, a reminder of our resolutions and purpose... for 2019. I share one of my resolutions and where to get updates.

Your find yourself at the finish point of a bad decision. Filled with regret, pain and a bunch of “what ifs”. 9 times out of 10, your feelings lead you there. Life throws you a curl ball, good or bad ... one way or the other the feeling of ............... leads you down the tunnel to those “what ifs” You manage your feelings, you gain control, you gain control you better your odds of making the right decision... learn how!

We as humans are programmed naturally subconsciously to protect ourselves from emotional hurt when making decisions or choices. So we innately explore every possibility of failure in order to preempt any failure which may ensue. Preparing for the worst but instead of expecting the best, we take it as far as expecting the worst which defeats the purpose for taking that action hence the self sabotage! On this episode we attempt to identify those trends and figure out different ways of countering them.

Taking responsibility! It is in fact true that taking responsibility morphs into taking control once clearly understood or isn’t it?

You have made several new year resolutions year in year out but can’t seem to follow through. How do you break that cycle of consistently being stuck in the same spot.

A way of accepting, appreciating and taking advantage of where we currently are in order to get to where we want to be.