Adoptees Crossing Lines

Short Term 12: Who Gets Centered When We Tell Stories About Care? Episode Summary: In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and J Way continue their Family Policing in the Media series with Short Term 12. Once remembered as a rare film that centered young people in care, the rewatch lands differently. Together, they unpack how the film still centers caregivers, relies on familiar stereotypes about children in the system, and asks audiences to pity or fear young people without fully examining the structures shaping their lives. The conversation moves from parentification and emotional caretaking to poverty, addiction, family separation, and why lived experience has to be more than background material for someone else’s story. In this episode, we cover: (01:00) Rewatching Short Term 12 and questioning whose stories the film actually centers (08:25) Savior narratives, caregivers, and why being involved in the system doesn’t automatically make someone “good” (15:12) Trauma, parentification, and the emotional burden placed on children (22:28) Who gets to tell stories about the family policing system—and what gets lost without lived experience (27:30) Poverty, addiction, and the structural realities behind family separation (37:53) Why we need more stories made by and centered on people who have survived these systems Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Connect with J Way: TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social Work With Me: Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com.

Beyond the Happy Ending: Matilda and Child Autonomy Episode Summary:  In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and J Way continue their Family Policing in the Media series with a childhood classic: Matilda. Rewatching the film as adults, they explore what its story says about child autonomy, neglect, survival, education, and the people who become safe places when home isn’t one. They also unpack Miss Honey’s own experience with kinship care, the role of imagination and escapism, and why listening to children matters far beyond the world of the film. In this episode, we cover: (01:34) Rewatching Matilda as adults and what stands out differently now. (06:26) Neglect, libraries as refuge, and reading as a form of escape and survival. (11:15) Physical punishment, “spare the rod,” and adults using power against children. (13:06) Ghost kingdoms, imagined lives, and the ways adoptees use imagination to survive uncertainty. (22:50) Miss Honey as a safe adult, and whether her relationship with Matilda falls into saviorism. (29:02) Miss Honey’s kinship care story and how lived experience shapes her empathy for Matilda. (35:30) Child autonomy, being allowed to speak for yourself, and the long-term impact of authoritarian parenting. (43:00) Matilda choosing adoption for herself and what makes this ending different from the other films in the series. Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Connect with J Way: TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social Work With Me: Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com.

Joker: Systems, Class Warfare, and the Cost of Being Unseen Episode summary: In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and Jay continue their mini-series on family policing in the media with a discussion of the 2019 film Joker. They unpack the film as more than a villain origin story—examining how failed systems, class struggle, and abandonment by institutions shape Arthur Fleck’s descent. They also connect the film’s themes to adoption, identity, and what happens when society refuses to care for the people it creates. Content note: This episode includes discussion of mental health struggles, violence, child abuse, systemic neglect, and poverty. What we cover in this episode: (00:27) Series context and why Joker fits into conversations about systems and neglect (00:56) “Hope my death makes more sense than my life”: class struggle and societal failure (03:14) Quick synopsis of Joker and Arthur Fleck’s life in Gotham (07:21) Organizing across classes and why solidarity matters (11:19) Being unseen and disbelieved: how constant dismissal worsens mental health (19:21) Identity, adoption, and the power to control truth (21:17) Becoming the Joker: finally being seen and embraced by the crowd (23:09) Systems create what they refuse to care for (24:54) Guaranteed income, free childcare, and policies that actually support families (26:22) Poverty, homelessness, and how the U.S. treats poor people (27:45) Military recruitment and poverty as a pipeline Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Connect with J Way: TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social Listen to these episodes next: The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior Playbook Surveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way  Adoptee Storytelling & Film Advocacy Work With Me: Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com

Episode summary: Zaira and J continue the mini-series on family policing in the media with Sound of Hope: The Story of Possum Trot. They break down how the film uses religion, marketing, and savior narratives to sell adoption as “justice,” while ignoring the root causes that push families into the system. They also connect the story to church state entanglement, coercion in congregations, and what real support could look like instead: resources that keep families together. Content note: This episode includes discussion of religion related trauma, child sexual abuse (CSA), adoption/foster care harm, and death by suicide. What we cover : (00:39) Why Sound of Hope reads as propaganda (and why the marketing matters) (03:37) Faith, medical neglect, and children’s autonomy in health care decisions (08:29) PR machine + CBN coverage (“Small Town Big Heart”) and the film’s framing (11:18) Plot overview: the “calling,” the church push, and families adopting while struggling (16:01) Trauma care vs “laying hands”: what churches replace instead of providing real support (26:24) Coercion, tithing culture, and why many churches won’t meet basic needs (27:47) Zaira’s link: One Church, One Child (Florida) + church–state blending and harm (39:00) How the movie treats younger kids vs the older child (“Terry”), scapegoating, and stigma (45:42) Sexualizing minors, “modesty” culture, and the burden placed on children instead of adults (47:36) The alternative: mutual aid, material support, and keeping families together Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Connect with J Way: TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social Listen to these episodes next: The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior Playbook Surveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way  Adoptee Storytelling & Film Advocacy Work With Me: Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com

Losing Isaiah: When the System Steals, and Hollywood Sells It Back to You Episode Summary: In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and J Way continue their mini-series on family policing in the media with a critical look at the 1995 film Losing Isaiah. They unpack the film’s portrayal of Black motherhood, addiction, transracial adoption, and white saviorism. From courtroom drama to deeply racist tropes, they examine how the movie pretends to be about the child, but instead reinforces dangerous myths about poverty, morality, and what makes someone a “fit” parent. In this episode, we cover: (00:20) Initial reactions and why this movie still hits hard, especially for Black viewers. (06:55) The “crack baby” trope, media sensationalism, and the reality of poverty-based family separation. (17:00) Power dynamics and the red flags of a white hospital social worker adopting a Black child. (23:00) The courtroom as a stage for white fragility, and the Black attorney who wasn’t having it. (30:00) What the film gets wrong about addiction, morality, and who deserves to parent. (42:00) Why the film’s ending reinforces saviorism, and erases the systemic harm it claims to confront. Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Connect with J Way: TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social Listen to these episodes next: The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior Playbook Surveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way  Adoptee Storytelling & Film Advocacy Instant Family: Comedy, Consent, and Adoption Propaganda Work With Me: Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com

Instant Family: Comedy, Consent, and Adoption Propaganda Episode Summary: What happens when a comedy about foster care hides a deeper agenda? In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and J Way dig into the film Instant Family, its tone, tropes, and troubling narratives. They reflect on how comedy disarms audiences, how media normalizes adoption propaganda, and why who tells the story matters. From trauma, reunification, and religious narratives to Hollywood’s obsession with control, nothing is off limits. Content Note This episode includes discussion of adoption, the foster care system, racism, abuse, sexual assault, and state violence. Please listen with care. In this episode we cover: (00:22) Introduction and content framing (01:16) First impressions of Instant Family and the illusion of relatability (05:30) What does it mean for a film to be disarming? (08:16) Behind the scenes: The director’s role, Catholic influence, and who gets to tell the story (13:30) Quick recap: The film's plot and its portrayal of the family policing system (19:34) When adoptive parents fear reunification (22:16) How poverty is framed as parental failure (27:10) What kept people are taught to ignore (33:30) The comedy-to-consent pipeline: Who owns a child’s story? (47:12) Real life vs. “inspirational fiction” and the state’s role in violence (52:56) The kids no one comes looking for: on isolation and invisibility (55:42) What these films always leave out, and why it matters Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community:Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Connect with J Way: TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social Listen to these episodes next: The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior Playbook Surveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way  Adoptee Storytelling & Film Advocacy Work With Me: Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com

The Blind Side: Ownership, Propaganda, and the White Savior Playbook Episode Summary: In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira and co-host/editor J Way kick off a new film mini-series with one of the most infamous adoption movies of all time: The Blind Side. They revisit this Oscar winning film with fresh eyes, exposing its white savior narrative, racist tropes, and the insidious control adoption often masks as care. Together, they dissect the real life harm caused by this story, and why adoptees need to reclaim the mic. In this episode, we cover: (01:33) Why we had to start the series with The Blind Side (03:26) Savior narratives, selective memory, and how adopters used this film as “family time” (07:17) Hallmark vibes, propaganda beats, and the absurd plot construction (10:08) IQ scores, protectiveness tests, and the racist assumptions they reinforce (14:18) Control vs. care, and how Leigh Anne’s character weaponizes both (20:20) Black bodies as tools: protector, athlete, project (23:44) Christianity, purity culture, and domination masked as discipline (30:51) Queer families, carceral systems, and why inclusion isn’t liberation (36:24) “Do you have a mother?” and how the film dehumanizes Michael’s mom (40:26) Ole Miss, Confederate nostalgia, and performative progress (46:10) Final takeaways: who gets to tell the story—and why it matters Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Connect with J Way: TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social Listen to these episodes next: Surveillance, Saviors, and Screens: Media & Adoption with J Way  Adoptee Storytelling & Film Advocacy Work With Me: Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com.

In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira is joined by Ashley Albert—organizer, survivor, and founder of Stolen Children’s Month. Ashley shares her journey from foster care and incarceration to becoming the first parent in Washington state to legally enforce and modify an open adoption agreement. Together, they speak truth to power about the family policing system, the Adoption and Safe Families Act (ASFA), and the necessity of abolition. This conversation is about legacy, resistance, and the spiritual practice of staying alive and dangerous in the face of erasure. In this episode, we cover: (00:22) Ashley’s story of survival and her legal breakthrough in Washington State. (06:08) What it really takes to fight for your children—and what the system demands. (09:50) Why Ashley created Stolen Children’s Month and what it means to bear witness. (21:20) The truth about ASFA, adoption incentives, and systemic erasure. (34:30) Spiritual resistance, healing justice, and caring for ourselves as abolitionists. (45:17) Messages for survivors, caregivers, and anyone who's ever felt broken by the system. Connect with Ashley Albert & Stolen Children’s Month: Instagram: @stolenchildrensmonth Website: stolenchildrensmonth.com Work With Me: Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com.

In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira sits down with her editor and friend J Way to reflect on their experience attending the Black Mothers March in Washington, D.C. From the powerful teach in and the emotional impact of firsthand stories to the joyful moments of community and connection, they unpack what it means to organize, to protest, and to be witnessed. Together, they talk about the dystopian reality we’re living in, the role of media in shaping narratives around adoption and family policing, and how they’re carrying the work forward. In this episode, we cover: (00:22) The power of the Black Mothers March and what made the teach-in so impactful.  06:54) Surveillance, storytelling, and the intersections of state control and care. (11:26) Joy, organizing, and finding community as resistance. (20:39) Reproductive justice, dystopia, and the erasure of Black mothers. (33:40) What we’re carrying forward—and what comes next. Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Connect with J Way: TikTok: @itsyagirl_jway BlueSky: @itsjway.bsky.social Work With Me: Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com.

In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira sits down with Kat Shahinian-Buffa to explore the layers of secrecy, grief, and reclamation embedded in kinship adoption. From being adopted the day she was born to uncovering that her sister is also her cousin through a DNA test, Kat walks us through her journey of survival, family deception, and international discovery. Together, they dig into the ways adoption alters identity, why even kinship adoption can be deeply harmful, and what it means to raise yourself. In this episode, we cover: (00:20) Kat’s adoption story, growing up with five siblings, and being raised by her biological uncle’s wife. (06:54) Realizing the burden of being “chosen,” perfectionism, and being othered in her adoptive family. (17:37) How DNA tests blew open family secrets—including discovering her sister is also her cousin. (27:15) Why even kinship adoption isn’t inherently safer or healthier—and how it distorts medical history and relationships. (42:10) The long road to healing, mental health support, and raising yourself. Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts. Follow us on social media and Substack for more content and community: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Connect with Kat Shahinian-Buffa: Instagram: @kadasarus BlueSky: @kadasaurus.bsky.social Work With Me: Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing this podcast. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com.

In this powerful episode, attorney and pro-Black adoptee Aretha Frazier shares her story of being adopted by her aunt in a kinship placement that was far from simple. From navigating family loyalty and control to confronting abuse and the myth of gratitude, Aretha opens up about what it really meant to grow up in a household where blood ties didn’t guarantee safety or care. She and Zaira dive deep into the complexities of kinship adoption, family dynamics, and what it means to center adoptees—especially Black adoptees—in every conversation. This is a raw, necessary look at the assumptions we carry about family, care, and who gets to be believed.

In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira is joined by her editor, cinephile, and dear friend J Way. Together, they dive into how adoption narratives are portrayed in film and television, from tropes like the “grateful orphan” to more realistic depictions of systemic harm. J Way shares their experience as a transracial adoptee, the cultural erasure they endured, and the healing power of chosen family, storytelling, and visual media. This powerful conversation unpacks the surveillance, silence, and saviorism that often surround adoption—and what it means to reclaim your story through art and truth. In this episode, we cover: (00:28) J Way’s story: growing up adopted with two sisters in a white household  (03:11) Surveillance, culture loss, and being banned from speaking Spanish  (05:33) How film became a safe space and helped process adoption trauma  (08:49) Media critiques: from Queen’s Gambit tropes to Atlanta’s searing truths (14:52) Social media, saviorism, and adoption propaganda (31:38) Love beyond biology: Zaira’s documentary vision on family policing (37:33) The harm and manipulation of “open” adoptions (47:07) “It’s not about blood”: media rhetoric, savior narratives, and erasure Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines on your favorite podcast platform. Follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for deeper content and community. Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Connect with J Way: TikTok: @its_yagirl_jway Bluesky: @itsjway.bsky.social Work With Me: Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships, sponsorships, or collaboration inquiries. Editing by J Way Special thanks to J Way for editing this episode. To collaborate with her, email jwayedits@gmail.com.

In this solo episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira dives deep into the power and necessity of mutual aid. Drawing from personal reflection, historical examples like the Black Panther Party and the Young Lords, and global efforts from Sudan to Florida, this episode highlights how mutual aid has always been about survival. Zaira explores how mutual aid rejects systems of exploitation and centers community care as a form of resistance—especially for marginalized communities continuously neglected by the state. In this episode, we cover: (00:20) What mutual aid is, how it differs from charity, and why it’s essential for survival. (05:13) Historical examples of mutual aid in action—from the Black Panther Party to the Young Lords. (12:35) How mutual aid shows up today across the globe and in local communities. (17:36) The call to practice mutual aid in our daily lives and how storytelling is a form of digital resistance. Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Listen to these episodes next: Community: A powerful solo episode exploring the importance of community for adoptees and system-impacted people—how it’s built, sustained, and why it’s critical for healing. Work With Me: Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing the podcast. To collaborate with her, email her at jwayedits@gmail.com.

Adoptee Storytelling & Film Advocacy In this episode of Adoptees Crossing Lines, Zaira sits down with Alexandra, a British and American domestic transracial adoptee who grew up in her birth country of Hong Kong. Alexandra is the festival director of the Adoptee Film Fest, a global in-person and online film festival amplifying adoptee-centered films by adoptee filmmakers. They discuss her journey of navigating identity, community, and storytelling, and how the Adoptee Film Fest came to be. Alexandra shares her experience of growing up in a segregated society, her birth search, and the importance of creating adoptee-centered spaces in media. In this episode, we cover: (00:20) Introduction to Alexandra and her background as a British and American domestic transracial adoptee. (03:13) The impact of growing up in Hong Kong and navigating identity in a segregated society. (10:19) Alexandra’s birth search journey and the challenges of finding community and validation. (20:27) The inception of the Adoptee Film Fest and its importance for the adoptee community. (27:37) The role of storytelling and community building through film. (38:03) Alexandra’s reflections on adoptee representation in media and future plans for the Adoptee Film Fest. Call To Action: Subscribe to Adoptees Crossing Lines wherever you listen to podcasts, follow us on social media, and subscribe to our Substack for more content and community: Website: adopteescrossinglines.com Instagram: @adopteescrossinglines BlueSky: adopteecrossing.bsky.social TikTok: @adopteescrossinglines_ Substack: Adoptees Crossing Lines Substack Work With Me: Email adopteescrossinglines@gmail.com for brand partnerships and business inquiries. Editing by J. Way (AV Editor) Special thanks to J. Way for editing the podcast. To collaborate with her, email her at jwayedits@gmail.com.

In this episode, Zaira sits down with Tam and Tracy Robertson, sisters, healers, and advocates working as Healers in Residence with Movement for Family Power. Through their doula work, spiritual service, and community advocacy, they share their journey of resisting the harms of the family policing system while centering Black birth traditions and ancestral wisdom. This conversation explores how their upbringing, faith, and commitment to community care fuel their fight for Black families’ safety, healing, and liberation.

In this episode, we explore the complexities of adoption, privilege, and the narratives that shape our understanding of family. Through personal stories and critical reflections, we unpack the ways in which adoption is often framed as an unquestionable good while overlooking the systemic issues at play. We discuss the intersection of race, class, and power in adoption, the impact on adoptees, and the importance of centering their voices. This conversation challenges dominant narratives and invites listeners to consider the broader implications of adoption beyond individual experiences. 

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