Alive and Still Married – HPN

Recording in a slightly different studio, that means we moved from the kitchen to the living room, we share a few late breaking happenings. Nothing too exciting, just rainy weather, basement floor drains that are backing up in the high water table, and the same old frustrations with support from the VA. Stepping away from the typical theme of family and marriage, we take a look at a few headlines involving strangeness with animals, people who should know better, guns at school, dragons, guitars, and all that just in time for bad news for criminals in Maine. It seems that funds for court appointed lawyers has run out. I wonder if they have a family plan, or discounts for group rates? Oh wait, it gets worse for one unfortunate golfer as he encounters a rabid fox, and a sky diver who got tangled in the airplane landing gear. A dumb crook is picked up on petite burglary… is that a real charge? There’s no shortage of animals in the news. You might feel comforted by a donkey on campus, and if you want to live snake free, move to Alaska… unless your crazy neighbor has a pet python who got loose. Even if you’re having a bad day, doesn’t that make you a little more glad that it isn’t worse? Recipe with Robin. She shares a quick and easy way to make Corn Custard. To wrap up, we give the answer to last week’s trivia question… which nobody responded to. I guess it was another hard one. Get your pencils ready, and hover your mouse pointers over the comment section to drop us your answer for this week’s trivia. Which book in the bible starts with the phrase: “The revelation of Jesus…” 1 John Jude Philemon Revelation We leave with a few words of the day that didn’t stump Robin, and an app for iPhone to change the way you look in your selfies.

After a week off, Robin tells how having 6 grandkids in the house for a week distracted us from our regularly scheduled programming. The kids and babies have all returned home… well, except one. Due to complications the we don’t feel the need to go into, we have found ourselves in temporary guardianship of him. The matter has sparked our topic for the day, when grandparents find themselves once again raising kids. Main topic Robin uses online sources to use as our discussion points. We talk about reasons that might lead to having a grandparent take charge of raising their grand kids. Regardless of the reason, emotional feelings of guilt, inadequacy, or resentment can creep in. Empathy is called for to understand each party from child, to parents, to grandparents roles, and handling the changes. Grandparents may face the need to raise kids on a fixed income, or find they have 2 or more kids on average, per grandparent to provide for. House rules need to be made up front, with input from the grand kidss, but be flexible to modify rules to be fair on both sides of the rule. Grandparents also give up freedoms to come and go as they please. They find themselves having to consider schedules of the children and school activities. Being involved in, and engaged with homework assignments is important for anyone raising kids, and actually blends the best of both worlds of public education with home schooling. The changes, grief, emotion, and culture shock doesn’t have to be as difficult when all parties involved can recognize their responsibility in the new arrangement. Recipe with Robin? Sorry, not this time, but we do have a word of the day, and trivia. We must have stumped listeners last week on the trivia, but we share the answer. Get ready to send in your answers… In the 8th plague, what animal covered the ground in Egypt. Was it: Scorpions Worms Locusts Snails If you think you know, drop us a line using email, our Contact page, or in the Facebook group: HPNCast Community or even our voicemail number, (401)753-4844. Feedback of all kinds are welcome.

The show is a little late this week, and we fill in some background on the delay. Trips, doctors, and printing up some mailings for another group we’re involved with, but here we are. Robin reads off a few more marriage quotes, and the topics regarding love are on a more upbeat tone. There’s still plenty of deep things to ponder. The recipe of the week is: Busy Day Cake. A simple recipe to mix all the ingredients up quick, and pop into the oven in a hurry. Listen in, and have your pencils ready to jot down the instructions. Trivia and word of the week. There’s no word this week, but we have some responses from our trivia question from last time, Listen for the options of who had the most developed biography in the old testament. If you know, drop us a line. There’s also a quick bonus question.

Get caught up with Robin’s jobs around the house, then enjoy our random topics. It’s all about weddings, love, marriage, and real relationships. Quotes are from a web site, Wedding References, and the topics of marriage, love, and weddings are the main focus today. Some are humorous, some are poetic, and some can find roots in the biblical outlook on marriage. All have their deep meaning, and nugget of truth. We discuss them, but if you have some insight to what any of them mean to you, all you need to do is drop us a line. Comment on the Facebook groupp: HPNCast Community, write an email, or use our voicemail number: (401)7534844. Robin’s recipe of the week is: Eggplant Parmesan. If you’ve never had eggplant before, this is a good one to start out with. We give our trivia answer from last week. You know… the one that nobody responded to… Although it takes some time for us to remember what it was. Stay tuned for the word of the day, and the trivia question for this week. Submit your answer to the trivia question in any way you wish. Through

Join us at the kitchen table, slightly noisy refrigerator and all, and listen as we discuss a few basics of marriage. The topics work in any relationship as well. At home, with kids, parents, and even at work. After we get warmed up, we focus on 3 foundational points. 1. Be glad for what you have. Proverbs 5:18 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, Sometimes a great start in the youth of life might lead to frustrations and problems later. Conflict is normal, and OK, as long as you work through it to grow together. Nobody becomes the grumpy one all by themselves. Both parties play a part over time to lead to where they are now. Can things be made the way they were? Possibly not, but at least appreciate where you are, and who you’re there with. Work to make the relationship the best you can make it. Remember the good times, and the good in the other person. 2. Be humble, not self centered. Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Be considerate of the other person, even when you don’t want to, but do it with a humble attitude. Be their number one fan. Listen to complaints, and show love. Identifying a problem is the key. Don’t worry about fixing things, just be sympathetic and patient. Rejoice in the things your spouse finds victory in. try to fix it in one sitting. There could be more than just the 3. Attitude makes the difference. Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Being harsh might also mean bitter, regardless, tone of voice and body language speaks volumes over any words that are spoken. Say it, but mean it, and show it. Soft words go a lot farther than those said grudgingly. The kind of emotional love that makes a great romance fades. It comes and goes. Be a student of your spouse, and remember their good traits. Write them down, count them off, name them, but do what it takes to refresh your attitude, and get back to strengthening those bonds of that close relationship. Robin also shares a recipe for Beginners White Bread. Listen for the recipe. Make it, and drop us a line to tell us how it worked out. There’s no word of the week, but send in your answer to the trivia question. What kind of animal did Esau hunt? A. Lion. B. Snake. C. Deer. D. Bear Note: Bible verses are from the English Standard Version (ESV).

We’re back after close to being out of the podcast world for a year. Robin and Keith give a quick overview of events in our lives in the past year. Summer camps, activities at church, new grand baby, and more. To transition to the main topic for the day, we end up adding a mini topic on the decline of marriages, and people who either don’t stay together, or don’t bother with getting married. What kind of confusion might that present for future generations? Managing to arrive to a point, we discuss the importance of recognizing the work the other spouse brings to the marriage and family to keep it going. Often it seems the other person isn’t contributing much at all. Often you’d be wrong. How can a married person show kindness and some consideration? We’re running out of time, but we bring back the segments of Recipe with Robin, with her version of: Potato Soup, with Greens. As we get ready to close it out, Keith brings a quick word of the week.

We have a guest in the kitchen studio, our son, Chris contributes as we talk about our topics today. Robin has put and to our noisy refrigerator, so things should be a little quieter. After getting caught up, and hearing about a mission outreach that Robin participated in, we get right to the main topic. In response to a question from the the HPNCast Community, our Facebook group, Robin presents our topic. Thanks to Michael Prince of BecauseFamily.org who asks: What was the adjustment likewhen the kids grew, and were gone? What are some things you did, or wish you had done to help in the transition? We may be a good example of what not do do. Launching kids isn’t always text book perfect. They sometimes don’t move out right away. They sometimes make long term, return visits to the nest. For us there was a revolving door that only ended in the past year and a half. It’s not always a bad thing, and comes with different levels of stress. The end goal is to have intentionality, and responsibility to move out, and stay out. The best thing to do is prepare your child to have a strong faith, and ethical code to be able to weather the storms of outside, and most likely false world views. A faith that is theirs, and not one based only on what mom said, or what dad tells them. From the kid’s perspective, it may seem forceful to be tossed out of the nest. However from the parent side, it can be just as hard to see kids fall down. Let them, but work in love to help them get back up on their feet. Remember that their habits and priorities won’t be your own, just respect that style difference as they find their way of responsible living. Isn’t the empty nest lonely? It can be, but again, we may not be the best to address that topic. We haven’t been without kids for all that long. Recipe with Robin. Ham Salad Sandwiches. Robin, and our guest, Chris share the ingredients, and tips on how to put it all together. Plus a bonus cookie recipe… but they cheated and made it from a mix. Tidbits of Trivia. To wrap up, Keith shares a few details of trivia. Don’t forget… contact us through the web site. Or try out our new Facebook group: heltsley.net/facebook will get you there.

At long last, we’re back to recording. Since our previous show at Christmas, we put together a group on Facebook. Do a search there for Heltsley Podcast Network, to check it out. Join, and take part in the discussion in the small, but growing community. The new group is where we got the topic for today.. There were some other good responses as well, so stay tuned to upcoming episodes. Topic We have lived in a variety of places over the years, and we were asked which was our favorite. That’s a tough question, since there has been both good and not so good things about each place. Robin reviews all the places, and we talk about what we like about the places we lived. Maybe we ought to invent our own place where we could roll them all together. I think we’re pretty happy where we are… but then again… If money were no object, might there be a place we can decide on going? Recipe There isn’t any trivia, or words of the week, but you won’t want to miss this weeks recipe. Robin even has a bonus breakfast treat.

Another of those mash up shows that everybody loves so much. OK, nobody has ever actually told us that, but Keith is lazy, and he just needed something to do with the leftover bits of our last installment. Enjoy this aftermath of our Christmas episode last week. What random things make their appearance at the breakfast table this time? Christmas flower and China hutch Cancelled pageant Taking care of Josh and therapy Chores Deer and Robins swap shop Squirrel fur boots Exerscise and shifting hourglass Recipe: Green fluffy stuff and fruit cake Novels, Manicure, and Getting work done If you’ve enjoyed your visit to our breakfast table, leave something in our tip jar. I mean, just leave a comment, email us from the Contact page, or if you were really going to do it… you could zap us a contribution through Paypal. Go ahead, I saw you reaching for your wallet… you know you want to do it… just remember this address when you get on Paypal, keith@heltsley.net Well… I’m waiting…

Christmas Story As read from these selections. Isaiah40:1-11;Luke 1:26-38 God’sPeopleComforted Mary’s Visit to Elizabeth Luke1:39-55;67-79 Mary’s Praise Zechariah’s Prophecy Matthew1:18-25;Luke2:1-14 The Nativity of the Messiah The Birth of Jesus The Shepherds and the Angels Luke2:15-20;Matthew2:1-12; Wise Men Seek the King John3:16-17 Reading is the show is from the HCSB, and any errors are strictly by the reader. Merry Christmas.

It’s actually a rambling show of random bits of life at our breakfast table. Fire up your favorite brand of morning beverage, and sip along with us as we tlk about: Vehicle performance. Sleeping in and clogged drains Christmas work to do CPAP White Elephant and Snake updates Endangered Christians and religious wackos Gender confusion and jobs Job or education Butt kicking baby Borrowed lawn mowers Classified Mowers and fridges Yes folks… for anyone who makes the right offer, you could find yourself being the proud owner of the world famous noisy refrigerator who likes to barge in on our podcast. Be the envy of all your family and friends… and maybe even a few of your enemies. Just use our handy Contact page to send us an email… use the commenting forms on this page… notify us through our official Twitter gash tag #hpnaolive… but just let us know. Even if you’re not interested, let us know that as well. We just like hearing from you.

From our previous installment where we discussed random topics at the kitchen table, we gravitated to some of our more favorite and least favorite jobs. Enjoy more of our kitchen discussion. Some of our ideal jobs have been some of the least paying, but fun and rewarding in their own way. What makes a good job match for us? What makes it not be so cool? What do you have to say on the topic? We’d love to know. Drop us a line, leave a comment, or send an email to tell us. Do you have a job we would be a ood match for? Even bett3er. Recipes with Robin. Be sure to learn how Robin makes her orld famous sugar cookies. It’s easy, and you get to have a lot of fun being creative in rolling them out, cutting them into shapes, and decorating them the way you like.

In reviewing our big list of topics that we planned when we started the podcast, we discover that they’re mostly covered. Some got the full attention in an episode. Others were at least mentioned in passing as we discussed other things. Enjoy our little show bout random items ranging from the role and importance of sex in a marriage, to things that go wrong, regrouping after set backs in a relationship, and more. We have the answer to Robin’s trivia questions. And the winner is… Jill! Your prize is an all expenses paid visit from Keith. What? You think I’m kidding? I’ll be moving in for two weeks, so have plenty of food, and a decent broadband connection. And by all expenses, it means I get to freeeload off you the whole time. Keith shares a few trivial tidbits on how we ggot our modern English bible translations. Which is best? Is the bible a glawed book? Historical? Inspired? Hey, it’s just a few tidbits, it would take a book to paint a more accurate picture to dive into this topic. I hope you enjoy this installment of our talk at the kitchen table. PS: In case anybody should get the wrong idea about Jill, and Keith… For the record, she’s his sister. Not some homewrecker who Robin needs to worry about. PPS: And if people think the winning of the trivia quiz is stacked so family members can win, its only because you didn’t send in your answer. Try it sometime. I promise. No unwanted Keith’s will show up on yor doorstep. Not even a wanted one. We might be able to work out a cool prize of some kind though.

We talk about being thankful by taking a look at the marriage vows, and what happens when those hard times hit. Ranging from who takes care of the bank book, to unexpected illness, and death of family members. Some things just can’t be anticipated, but being supportive and understanding is the key to making it work. When it comes to the unlikely ways we meet, and become a couple, there’s plenty to be thankful for. Recipe time Robin and Susan share favorite recipes. Tune in for some yummie ideas on making chocolate pie, and more. Trivia today is about Thanksgiving in America. We didn’t do so hot. See if you do any better.

Forget the weekly updates… this is more like monthly update, and getting close to bi-monthly update. We’re finally able to record again after a long break. We share a little about the reason for the delay between podcasts, and critter updates. This time the fun involves snakes. The friendly, non-poisonous common garter snake. Harmless, but they can go and do what nature designed rthem to do, and hybernate in a nice hole in the groung. Not our house. Although, we might have a new project on our hands. We could make llittle snake skin accessories for Barbie… Nah… let Barbie buy her fancy belts and shoes somewhere else. Robin has also been doing aquatic therapy, to help with controling her pain. Keith gives the answers to the word quiz from last episode. Rather than another quiz, Robin and Keith go through a word list, and discuss the definitions and usage. Recipe with Robin. Easy Chicken Pot Pie. Listen and learn how she makes this simple dish that you can mix up. and have ready to serve in ,minutes. Allit takes is some vegetables of your choice, either fresh or canned chicken, your favorite shredded cheese, and some biscuits. Main Topic: Opposites Attract. Robin talks about different types of temperaments, and how more than one kind can show up in a person. Sanguin, melancholie, extravert, flegmatic, and others. What are those terms anyway? What about the concept of opposites attracting? Emotion and personality types may do well to attract. It makes life interesting. In general it works better to be more alike than different. Weaknesses in a relationship don’t show up until later. That annoying little trait went unnoticed at first, or the charming thing one person does may become an annoyance at a later time. Conflicts might be better described as a conflict un weakness. Robin has an example or two… OK, a lot more… to demonstrate these concepts. Is there any hope to manage conflicts? Agree on ground rules ahead of time. Namely that divorce is not an option. No disagreement is a threat to a marriage. Its not who you are, or the disagreement, but what you do about it. Try to step back, and take an objectivelook. Leave the past in the past, and move forward. Trivia Alert We wrap up with some trivial fun. Fun daily trivia can be found on Michael Gallager’s blog, Trivia of the Day. Send us your feedback. We love hearing from you. Use the comment form on this page. Click the Contact link, and use the form to send an email. Follow the official tweets of @HPNCast. Alert us to your question and comments with the hash tag: #hpnalive

Getting caught up with the hosts, learn about how visits to doctors, back pain, and work on other podcasts have kept Robin and Keith busy. We get right into the main topic right up front. Why do people not stay married as long as they used to? Or why do people choose to not get married at all? Matters of financial, or other benefits from the government can drive a wedge to make it more convenient to stay seperate. Legal issues, or complicated past relationships can make the decision difficult. Keith recaps a couple of scenarios where he traces how a life long marriage path leads, and one where the comittment is tosed aside to follow the easy decision to be free to do whatever you want. Is it worth it ti nae te convenent decisions, and follow the easy path of lesser resitence. The right decision is most often not he easy one. We discuss the lack of dedication, and the ease at being able to divorce. We admit that we can’t address the issue from poersonal experience, and try to make sense out o how acts of love get forgotten, and what might be done to exercise our skills of showing love, even when the feeling isn’t there, or the other person doesn’t respond or recirpocate. Stick with it. It’s worth the effort, and a bad marriage can turn aroiu nd. The emppty nest syndrome, once the kids are all grown, isn’t immune to divorce. Just because kids are adults doesn’t always make it easier when mom and dad split. What makes a couple drift apoart, is it the sudden cha ge, or does te rift grow over time, and go unnoticed. Dating each other, and making time to keep up on personal relationship is th thing to invest time in. Wha makes a marriage? A piece of paper filed in a courthouse? A ring? Those things are tangible things too make the marriage covenant real. Its the ongoing, daily journey of loving, making amends, forgiveness, qnd continuing develop;ing the relationship, What can you do when the decisions in life haven’t been ideal ones? Start now, and though the right decision could put you in a bind, the long distance road to recovery is worth it. Sure, the convenient thing is easy, but nothing will change. This is all easier to say than to do, but We’re not professional counselors, or psychologists, just people who hqfe been married a long time, and trying to figure out why things go wrong. Shifting the format a little, we turn to the fun stuff. After School Snacks, designed for moms to have her little helper pitch in to cook this yummie treat. Crackers, pizza sauce, cheese, and warrm p the oven to finsh the job. Bacon Tater Bake. Another fast and easy treat to whip up. Finally, Keith shares a few bits of trivia before wrapping up the show. Now its your turn. Rise to the challenges. Send us your feedback on our marriage topic, respond to the word of the, or comment on the trivia. Word of the day is provided by http://miriamwebster.com Trivia provided by Michael Gallager. http://triviaoftheday.wordpress.com

Can they do that? Have a judge force a young couple to get married… or else? We’ll talk more about that later, in our main topic. First, get caught up with Robin as she finally has her busy Summer behind her. The first order of business… to collapse, and sleep all day long. Keith tells about that boring techie stuff that keeps him busy, and getting back to almost being normal again. Shameless plug alert: Keith’s other podcast will be having some special guests soon, so you may want to see what’s going on with the other feeds on the Heltsley Podcast Network. We continue with our new segments. Get a couple more words of the day to add to your vocabulary. Robin shares another recipe. Peanutbutter Cookies, made without flour. Be sure to have a pencil handy, and a finger on the pause button as you jot down this very simple recipe. The main topic comes from a recent news story that might fall under the category of judges who over step the bounds of their office. In Texas, a man who was before the judge for assault on his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend was asked whether she was worth it, and as part of his sentrencing was given the option to spend 15 days in jail, or promise to get married within 30 days, as well as seek counselling and write out bible verses. Should writing bible verses be part of the penal code? What do you think? Is it the judge’s position to force the marriage? Robin shares more details of the story, so give us a listen, discover what we have to say about this wierd marriage situation, and tell us where you stand. Feedback… There weren’t any takers on the trivia challenge, but Keith shares the answer to last week’s trivia. Can you answer the trivia question that Robin is asking this week? Be sure to send in your answers, wrapped in hundred dollar bills. Enter as many times as you like… just kidding. Send in your answer for free by using the Contact page, or emailing us directly.

With our busy Summer schedule winding down, we talk a little more about Robin’s experience at her two weeks at camp. First with older girls, and last week with younger girls. This week she’s in full swing leading the kids in Vacation BibleSchool (VBS). We even have a house guest who is helping her with the daily preparation, activities, and teaching. She has been able to reach about 3 to 5 times the number of kids who typically attend weeklySunday School classes. Due to listener request we start a new segment. The w9rd of the day. Get ready. We have a challenge for you. Email us the definition of the word thatRobin mentions. show your support, and let us kknow you’reout there. Here’s another new segment. Recipes with Robin. Get your pencils ready, hit the pause or rewind button for… Chocolate Fudge Brownies. Robin moves into our main topic. She shares a few of the lessons learned at camp, responsibilities, rewards, and motivations. The girls leqarned how to serve others in doing their camp chores. Did they always do the job the best? No, but a sense of accomplishment was impoortant., and learning new skills. We start to ramble, so t’s time to sign off. Send your feedback to meet our easy challenges. We even include an extra challenge at the end. Tweet us: @#HPNCDast Subscribe, rate us, or leave comments for us at iTunes. Leave a comment right here on the show notes Email us with suggestions for topics, questions, or ideas for the podcast.

After most of the Summer activituies, Robi n and Keith are gback with some uopdates, and to touch base on our topic. There’s still some busy days ahead for Robin as she heads back out to camp with girls from age 9-12. Then she goes right into a week of Vacation Bible School. Keith tells a little about his trip to Chicago, and why he had to make the trip. Our topic seems simple on the surface/. A couple ought to go to the same church… right? What if they are not only members of different congregations, but from totally different denomi nations. We have a real life example of a couple, who remain nameless, as with other specific details, to protect privacy of the people inbolbed. Is leaving your church and denomination a ticket straight to hell? Aren’t we all one body in Christ? We offer our view of the significance of various denominations, and the unifying factor that faith in Christ alone has in the big picture of the Kingdom of God. Of course, the important thing is developing a biblical relationship in loving god. The closer you get to him, the closer you get to your spouce. You also get a better idea of how he sees people, and the best way to relate to them as well. Feedback Got a word of advice, suggestion, remark, correction, or any area we might have missed, or didn’t represent well? Tell us. We can read your remarks in the show. Remember, we aren’t professional counsellors, we just share from our personal experience from being married for over 30 years. We did it… you can too… well if we all libve long enough… u know what I mean… right? Just listen, enjoy, and help us ,make this the bbest podcast possible.

Hear about our busy recent activities. You’ll see why there has been a slight lapse in getting episodes out. Visiting grand kids who arrived in waves, church kids staying over, and other family events. Topic. Inspired by a recent wedding of one of our nephews, we talk a little about the different kinds of ceremonies from the red neck… to the highly formal. We also talk about receptions, and the various elements of the wedding ceremony and vows that people do. Big wedding… small wedding… it doesn’t matter. It’s no garantee of having a successful marriage. We discuss a few things that are important. It boils down to serving the other, instead of expecting to be served, not letting problems fester, and doing a lot of overlooking annoyances.