Are You Being Present?

External validation feels good. But what happens when it runs out? This episode explores one of the ego's most powerful and pervasive traps: the endless pursuit of external validation. From the praise of parents and teachers in childhood to the approval of employers, spouses, and peers in adulthood, most of us have been deeply conditioned to measure our worth through the eyes of others. And the ego knows exactly how to exploit that. External validation can never be a sustainable source of confidence, because by its very nature, it isn't limitless. When the praise stops, the anxiety begins. When the confirmation disappears, the ego moves in with doubt, fear, and internal chaos. This episode takes an honest look at how this ego program shows up in everyday life, from professional settings and personal relationships to the extreme highs and lows of fame. It also examines why even well-intentioned advice-seeking can become a subtle form of outsourcing your own agency. The antidote? Internal validation, the practice of affirming, assuring, and praising yourself from within, especially when the ego is loudest. In this episode you'll explore: Why the ego creates doubt to manufacture a need for external approval How the "vacuum effect" of external validation fuels anxiety and depression What internal validation actually looks and feels like in practice How to endure difficult present moments with objectivity and grace Why self-affirmation has a lasting power that external praise never will You already know more than you think you do. This episode is an invitation to trust it. Remember, you have a choice. Choose to be Present!

Ego programs run like computer viruses in the background of your mind, silently sabotaging your present moment and creating self-inflicted suffering. Drawing from 15 years of clinical observation across 103 podcast episodes, this deep dive reveals what ego programs are, how to identify them in real time, and why they keep you trapped in patterns that have nothing to do with reality as it actually is. "I am sick." "I'm not enough." "I don't have enough." These aren't truths - they're programs installed during trauma and hardship that your ego weaponizes against you relentlessly. Learn to recognize the difference between what's actually happening in front of you and the distorted lens your ego forces you to see through. Discover why being the objective observer - watching thoughts without judgment, criticism, or attachment - is your primary defense against these insidious patterns. Explore practical presence tools including meditation, journaling, affirmations, and binaural beats to create the crucial gap between you and your ego programs. This isn't about fighting your ego or winning battles - it's about building a different relationship with the programs that dominate your inner reality and mirror themselves in your outer world. Start with one or two dominant programs. Be patient. Be graceful with yourself. The effort matters more than the results, and presence gives you the clarity to finally see what's been running you your entire life. Remember, you have a choice. Choose to be Present!

"I am sick" isn't a statement of fact - it's an ego program that makes you become the very illness you claim. This episode examines how the powerful declaration "I am" followed by "sick" creates ownership of disease rather than acknowledging temporary imbalance. Drawing from 15 years of clinical observation and personal experience, we explore how this pervasive ego tool keeps you trapped in fear, stress, and perpetual scanning for problems. Your mind obsesses over every ache, convincing you something is fundamentally wrong when you're simply having a human experience in a body that naturally fluctuates. Learn to distinguish between not feeling well and declaring yourself sick, between experiencing symptoms and becoming identified with disease. This isn't about denying legitimate health challenges or trivializing suffering - it's about uprooting the mental virus that amplifies discomfort into identity and spreads to everyone around you. Discover how to reframe your language, reclaim your health, and remove this deeply ingrained program from your vocabulary. The present moment offers you clarity to see this ego tool for what it truly is: a presence obstruction keeping you from living freely. Remember, you have a choice. Choose to be Present!

What if most of your suffering is self-inflicted? Catastrophizing robs you of the present moment by spinning worst-case scenarios that never materialize. Your mind creates entire disasters from nothing, projecting distorted memories onto an imagined future while reality unfolds peacefully right in front of you. This episode cuts through the madness. Drawing from thousands of clinical observations and hard-won personal insight, we expose catastrophizing as a relentless ego program designed solely to eject you from presence. You've done this countless times, yet how often has the catastrophe actually happened? Learn why your mind insists on this protective behavior despite its complete ineffectiveness, and discover practical presence tools to create distance between you and your spiraling thoughts. The work requires dedication, but through consistent practice you can reclaim your present moments and end unnecessary suffering. This is your opportunity to stop the madness and see clearly: all is well, and all is unfolding exactly as it should, right here, right now. Remember, you have a choice. Choose to be Present!

Change is inevitable, but our resistance to it creates suffering. In this episode, we explore why we struggle with change, how safety and comfort keep us trapped in familiar patterns, and what it means to embrace change with presence instead of fear. Drawing from personal experiences with injury, observations from clinic work with aging patients and career transitions, and practical presence tools, this conversation offers a path toward seeing change not as something happening TO you, but FOR you. Whether you're navigating a career shift, physical limitations, or unexpected life transitions, this episode provides grounded wisdom on moving through change with less resistance and more clarity. Remember, you have a choice. Choose to be Present!

What happens when everything you've built disappears overnight? This episode explores the profound experience of having your life reset button pushed - when natural disasters, loss, business failure, or sudden upheaval rips the floor out from under you. Speaking from direct experience of total loss and what I call "super survival mode," we examine how presence becomes both the most important and most difficult practice during extreme crisis. This isn't spiritual bypassing or toxic positivity... it's an honest look at grief, resistance, endurance, and the slow work of accepting what you never wanted. For anyone navigating their own reset right now, this episode offers empathy, practical tools, and the reminder that though it feels endless, this moment will not last forever.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ Remember, you have a choice... Choose to be present!

The Presence Projects presents episode 99 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series.  Join Paul for a podcast that focuses on a game/program the ego plays in a variety of different scenarios that creates a significant amount self-inflicted suffering. The title and topic of this episode is “If, That, Then Is a Game of the Ego".  In this podcast Paul shares his personal, and clinical, experiences where he has observed, identified and exposed an ego program that is woven deeply within the constructs of the matrix being proliferated by societal conditioning that prevents Presence.  This ego program acts as a Presence obstruction as it's used to eject you from the Present moment by creating conditions that need to be met so you can get to a future moment that will be better, or easier, than the one you're existing within.  It is imperative that this ego game be observed, addressed and removed with the use of Presence Tools.  Until this is accomplished the ego will use it repeatedly causing strife, angst, frustration and a variety of other negative states of being where the ego thrives.  Because of how frequently, and effectively, the ego uses this specific program it may take some time and dedication to identify and stop it from running.  Persistence and Presence will provide you with ample opportunity to uproot this insidious ego tool allowing for more neutrality, peace and prosperity. As always, it is advisable to listen to earlier podcasts that discuss other Presence topics and Presence Tools that can be implemented to help shift into the Present Moment.  Please check out the rest of the "Are You Being Present?" podcasts series on our website, iTunes and YouTube!   Remember you have a choice.  Choose to be present! https://www.areyoubeingpresent.com

The Presence Projects presents episode 98 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series.  Join Paul for a podcast that addresses obligation, what it is, how it’s used, the effect it has on the Present Moment and how we can reframe it.  The title and topic of this episode is “Obligation Is a Tool of the Ego".  In this podcast Paul dives into a subject that has created a lot of self-inflicted suffering at the hands of the ego.  Everyone on Earth goes through life with a certain number of obligations which is why this podcast is so relevant and relatable. Being obligated to do something usually entails having to complete a task, action or responsibility that we do not want to do but must do.  When we feel forced to do something the ego thrives and establishes a state of resistance and resentment, both are tremendous Presence obstructions.  By being Present and remaining the observer of our thoughts, feelings and emotions there is an opportunity to shift into a more neutral state of being by simply accepting the task at hand.  You can then willfully choose to do it because it needs to be done regardless of how you feel, or think, about it. As always, it is advisable to listen to earlier podcasts that discuss other Presence topics and Presence Tools that can be implemented to help shift into the Present Moment.  Please check out the rest of the "Are You Being Present?" podcasts series on our website, iTunes and YouTube!   Remember you have a choice.  Choose to be present! https://www.areyoubeingpresent.com

The Presence Projects presents episode 97 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series.  Join Paul for a podcast that introduces a statement, an affirmation and a powerful Presence Tool that can help to alleviate resistance, resentment, frustration and self-inflicted suffering. The title and topic of this episode is “Ok This Is Happening, What Do I Want to Do About It in This Present Moment?".  In this podcast Paul discusses the need to greet each Present Moment with acceptance, open arms, clarity and neutrality.  He shares with the audience a statement/greeting that can transcend negative ego thought streams into a state of acceptance for what is taking place in the here and now.   As we navigate life on Earth we encounter, and at times react to, undesirable situations containing people, places and things that cause resistance and resentment.  These behaviors are Presence obstructions that create negative states of being allowing for self-inflicted suffering at the hands of the ego.  By creating a Presence Practice, using Presence Tools and being the observer of the loud voice in your head you can use the statement "Ok This Is Happening, What Do I Want to Do About It in This Present Moment?" to establish a state of Presence, peace and prosperity.  It may take a concerted effort to use this statement when confronted with multiple challenges/opportunities but with practice, perseverance and dedication it can become second nature. As always, it is advisable to listen to earlier podcasts that discuss other Presence topics and Presence Tools that can be implemented to help shift into the Present Moment.  Please check out the rest of the "Are You Being Present?" podcasts series on our website, iTunes and YouTube!   Remember you have a choice.  Choose to be present! https://www.areyoubeingpresent.com

The Presence Projects presents episode 96 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series.  Join Paul for a podcast on comparison, how it is a major Presence obstruction and tool of the ego that has been used to create an immense amount of self-inflicted suffering. The title and topic of this episode is “Stop Comparing Yourself, Be Present!".  In this podcast Paul focuses on what comparison in, how it’s been used as a negative motivator, the effect it has on the Present moment and the need to observe it with objectivity as your ego (or other people’s egos) use it against you. Early in life we are indoctrinated with societal programming that is very negative and uses control mechanisms like comparison to manipulate and motivate for a variety of nefarious reasons.  In this reality no two people/places/things are equal, nor should they be.  The ego (that loud voice in your head) wants you to believe the opposite, the truth is that everything and everyone is unique in their own special way.  Knowing this Universal Truth provides a proper understanding that comparison creates unnecessary self-inflicted suffering.  Comparing yourself to anyone, including a past or future version of yourself, takes you out of the Present moment leading to a variety of negative emotions, feelings and energetic states of being. As always, it is advisable to listen to earlier podcasts that discuss other Presence topics and Presence Tools that can be implemented to help shift into the Present Moment.  Please check out the rest of the "Are You Being Present?" podcasts series on our website, iTunes and YouTube!   Remember you have a choice.  Choose to be present! https://www.areyoubeingpresent.com

The Presence Projects presents episode 95 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series.  Join Paul for a podcast that introduces the title "Cycle Breaker", what it means, how to achieve it and the value of such an important (and potentially life changing) accomplishment. The title and topic of this episode is “Being the Cycle Breaker in the Present Moment".  In this podcast Paul shares his Present moments discussing a title that he has achieved and discusses with the people he works with.  Cycles are prevalent throughout life in the third dimension, many of which incur/create a significant amount of trauma for those on the receiving end being passed down through family, friends and significant others.  These cycles are perpetuated, either consciously or unconsciously, through a lineage that requires an individual with courage, bravery and the necessary fortitude to break it in the Present moment.  While this achievement commands a significant amount of endurance, energy and dedication it is truly a worthy and worthwhile endeavor that will provide an improved sense of self-worth, self-esteem and Presence. As always, it is advisable to listen to earlier podcasts that discuss other Presence topics and Presence Tools that can be implemented to help shift into the Present Moment.  Please check out the rest of the "Are You Being Present?" podcasts series on our website, iTunes and YouTube!   Remember you have a choice.  Choose to be present! https://www.areyoubeingpresent.com

The Presence Projects presents episode 94 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series.  Join Paul for a podcast that explores patterns and how Presence allows us to identify, understand and shift our conscious and unconscious behavior(s) in the Present moment. The title and topic of this episode is “Identifying Patterns With Presence".  In this podcast Paul shares his Present seconds discussing the need to identify patterns that exist within our reality.  He illuminates the importance of examining behavioral patterns with Presence to see the effect(s) they have and why they are repeated. Many people are taught patterns during childhood that become deeply ingrained creating neural pathways.  Once these patterns are repeated long enough, they become routine and are done without thought or intention.  Many times, these behavioral patterns create loops where people get stuck doing the same things repeatedly and at times expecting different results.  This creates fertile ground for the ego, also known as the loud voice in your head, where negative streams of thought become dominant leading to self-inflicted suffering.  Using Presence tools can help provide clarity allowing for a better understanding of the pattern itself and the opportunity to change, grow and shift away from this unhelpful and unproductive behavior. As always, it is advisable to listen to earlier podcasts that discuss other Presence topics and Presence Tools that can be implemented to help shift into the Present Moment.  Please check out the rest of the "Are You Being Present?" podcasts series on our website, iTunes and YouTube!   Remember you have a choice.  Choose to be present! https://www.areyoubeingpresent.com

The Presence Projects presents episode 93 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series.  Join Paul for a podcast that focuses on "destination addiction" and how it obstructs our ability to fully accept all that is available, and possible, in the Present moment. The title and topic of this episode is “You Are Exactly Where You Are Supposed to Be in This Present Moment".  In this podcast Paul provides a helpful statement that provides reassurance to his listeners who may be experiencing some Presence challenges.  By fully accepting where you are, and who you are, it becomes possible to achieve clarity and live a more peaceful existence in the Present moment. “Destination addiction” is a common behavior that has created a lot of self-inflicted suffering throughout Western society.  It is the idea/premise that somewhere else, something else, or someone else is far better than what is unfolding in your life at that Present moment.  This is a tool of the ego that creates a significant obstruction to being Present as it creates an illusion that the future will be far better than the Present.  Learning what destination addiction is, and then properly addressing it in the Present moment, will provide substantial relief and the ability to shift out of future distractions which only exists in your mind/ego. As always, it is advisable to listen to earlier podcasts that discuss other Presence topics and Presence Tools that can be implemented to help shift into the Present Moment.  Please check out the rest of the "Are You Being Present?" podcasts series on our website, iTunes and YouTube!   Remember you have a choice.  Choose to be present! https://www.areyoubeingpresent.com

The Presence Projects presents episode 92 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series.  Join Paul for a podcast that focuses on the vast differences between intention and expectation in the Present moment. The title and topic of this episode is “Understanding the Difference Between Intention vs Expectation in the Present Moment".  In this podcast Paul examines the stark contrast and effects that expectation and intention have on a person's mind, body and spirit.  Living a life filled with expectation causes excessive amounts of suffering, primarily self-inflicted, that allows the ego to evoke negative thoughts, feelings and emotions. Societal conditioning has programmed us to create lives filled with expectation, and when those expectations are not met a slew of negativity is experienced.  Learning the effects of expectation, observing our egoic behaviors and then addressing them in the Present moment allows for more neutrality, peace and prosperity.  In opposition, living with intention is a far easier way to navigate life as it provides a more fluid state of being.  By having and exhibiting intention with people, places and things we can shift, pivot, and flow without creating unnecessary self-inflicted suffering. As always, it is advisable to listen to earlier podcasts that discuss other Presence topics and Presence Tools that can be implemented to help shift into the Present Moment.  Please check out the rest of the "Are You Being Present?" podcasts series on our website, iTunes and YouTube!   Remember you have a choice.  Choose to be present! https://www.areyoubeingpresent.com

The Presence Projects presents episode 91 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series.  Join Paul for a podcast that explores uncertainty and how it can be better understood and experienced in the Present moment. The title and topic of this episode is “Understanding Uncertainty With Presence".  In this podcast Paul speaks about uncertainty and the negative connotation typically associated with it.  Currently, we are faced with a variety of uncertainties which cause a tremendous amount of self-inflicted suffering preventing Presence.  Most people are raised with a fear of the unknown and are dominated by an ego that projects negative future potential outcomes.  Because of this, living in states of uncertainty can be extremely challenging, unnerving and chaotic for most of the population.  Being programmed to prepare for the worst is a common behavior that relates to a lack of certainty that causes panic, anxiety and stress.  During this podcast Paul spends time focusing on what uncertainty is, how to shift perceptions about uncertainty and how to be neutral (and Present) when faced with uncertainties. As always, it is advisable to listen to earlier podcasts that discuss other Presence topics and Presence Tools that can be implemented to help shift into the Present Moment.  Please check out the rest of the "Are You Being Present?" podcasts series on our website, iTunes and YouTube!   Remember you have a choice.  Choose to be present! https://www.areyoubeingpresent.com

The Presence Projects presents episode 90 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series.  Join Paul for a podcast that introduces an extremely profound Presence affirmation that can, and should, be added to your Presence toolbox and used all throughout the day as challenges arise. The title and topic of this episode is “Episode 90 - “I’m Ok” - A Powerful Presence Affirmation".  In this podcast Paul discusses one of his primary Presence affirmations that he shares, and uses, to help shift into the Present moment.  Saying "I'm OK" (in repetition) out loud or in your head is a wonderful affirmation that can create a gap between the ceaseless and senseless ego chatter that focuses on the past and future.  This affirmation has the potential to break that stream of negative thought when used with intention and focus allowing for clarity, peace and Presence. In previous podcasts Paul addressed the ego, which is the loud voice inside your head.  He wanted to provide an effective tool that can be used to quiet the ego which can dominate and control a person by bombarding them with endless mental movies, triggers and distractions that create an internal state of emotional chaos.  By telling yourself "I'm Ok" (even if you don't feel like you are at first) you can create new neural pathways and a embody the belief that you are ok, everything is ok and that you are going to be ok.  As always, it is advisable to listen to earlier podcasts that discuss other Presence topics and Presence Tools that can be implemented to help shift into the Present Moment.  Please check out the rest of the "Are You Being Present?" podcasts series on our website, iTunes and YouTube!   Remember you have a choice.  Choose to be present! https://www.areyoubeingpresent.com

The Presence Projects presents episode 89 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series.  Join Paul for a podcast that explores what a clean conscience is, the process of clearing and cleaning your conscience, and the effect it can have on your Present moments. The title and topic of this episode is “A Clean Conscience Is a Gift Earned With Presence".  In this podcast Paul spends his Present seconds discussing the concerted, and worthwhile, efforts needed to clean and clear your conscience.  The use of Presence tools, living with honor and virtue and doing your best in every Present moment is the effort and dedication needed to earn this wonderful, invaluable gift.  Seeking revenge, harboring resentment and having ill will creates a negative state of being that allows the ego to dominate and pollute the conscience.  This becomes quite evident when waking up in the middle of the night ruminating about behaviors/decisions that were made or worrying about potential negative outcomes.  When a person has done their ego work, uses Presence tools, lives with honor and not intentionally causes harm to others they can work their way towards having a clear conscience which is a priceless gift. As always, it is advisable to listen to earlier podcasts that discuss other Presence topics and Presence Tools that can be implemented to help shift into the Present Moment.  Please check out the rest of the "Are You Being Present?" podcasts series on our website, iTunes and YouTube!   Remember you have a choice.  Choose to be present! https://www.areyoubeingpresent.com

The Presence Projects presents episode 88 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series.  Join Paul for a podcast that is focused on an affirmation that can help to provide relief, peace and Presence to those enduring adversity and challenges here on Earth. The title and topic of this episode is “All Is Well and All Is Unfolding as It Should in the Present Moment".  In this podcast Paul explores a statement, and Presence affirmation, that he has used personally and shared with many people he has worked with.  This statement is a powerful reminder that everything is ok, even if your mind is trying to make you believe the opposite.  By releasing resistance, we can accept what is being presented to us and flow through it with grace and ease instead of frustration and stress. In a previous podcast Paul focused on eventualities, this information is relevant to the belief that all is unfolding as it should.  There are times we want to believe that we know better and that things should be happening differently.  If we zoom out, understand eventualities, we can see how life is unfolding exactly as it should no matter what our ego tells us.   As always, it is advisable to listen to earlier podcasts that discuss other Presence topics and Presence Tools that can be implemented to help shift into the Present Moment.  Please check out the rest of the "Are You Being Present?" podcasts series on our website, iTunes and YouTube!   Remember you have a choice.  Choose to be present! https://www.areyoubeingpresent.com

The Presence Projects presents episode 87 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series.  Join Paul for a podcast that focuses on the loud voice in your head that has created an incredible amount of anxiety, stress, depression and (self-inflicted) suffering.  The title and topic of this episode is “Stop Listening to That Loud Voice in Your Head With Presence".  In this podcast Paul allocates his Present seconds addressing an issue that is one of the greatest challenges to Presence and peace in the Present moment.   Every single person living on Earth has an ego and this ego typically has a very loud voice that creates an incredible amount of emotion turmoil all throughout a person's life.  There's a lot of variability when it comes to the ego as each one is unique based on the individual, their experiences, circumstances and life path.  When we are young the ego completely dominates and controls the child as there usually isn't any guidance as to what this loud voice and how to handle it.  Without this knowledge people grow up to believe, and are overly associated with, this loud voice that manipulates them with a variety of thoughts and emotions going from one triggered state to the next.  Paul shares his experiences, personally and clinically, with useful steps to take to better understand this loud voice which no longer needs to be in complete control of your life. As always, it is advisable to listen to earlier podcasts that discuss other Presence topics and Presence Tools that can be implemented to help shift into the Present Moment.  Please check out the rest of the "Are You Being Present?" podcasts series on our website, iTunes and YouTube!   Remember you have a choice.  Choose to be present! https://www.areyoubeingpresent.com

The Presence Projects presents episode 86 of the "Are You Being Present?" podcast series.  Join Paul for a podcast that illuminates the fact that everyone has a choice in how they perceive their reality no matter the obligation, situation or challenge. The title and topic of this episode is “Everything Is a Choice in the Present Moment".  In this podcast Paul dives into choice, perception and how it pertains to Presence.  While it is true that there are many things required of us, it is how we see and interact with the people, places and things in our reality that either enhances or challenges our state of being in the Present moment. With the proper understanding of choice regarding Presence, we can maintain a flow state regardless of what is being presented to us.  From the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed we are faced with a variety of choices, some more challenging than others.  If you can use your Presence tools, you will be able to maintain a state of clarity and observation of the ego seeing any potential stories it may be creating in it's attempts to take you out of the Present moment.  If your choice is to see people, places and things for how they are and not have you want them to be you will be able to navigate your reality with more ease, peace and Presence. As always, it is advisable to listen to earlier podcasts that discuss other Presence topics and Presence Tools that can be implemented to help shift into the Present Moment.  Please check out the rest of the "Are You Being Present?" podcasts series on our website, iTunes and YouTube!   Remember you have a choice.  Choose to be present! https://www.areyoubeingpresent.com