Better Off Undead - Three Writers, One Brain

If you’re listening to this, you probably got here early…  unless you’re one of the sad souls who actually downloaded this monstrosity. Speaking of monstrosities: it’s our Halloween special—an episode so enthralling, it’ll have you hate-eating candy corn after your journey around dark streets of your block.

Deep within the Cypress swamp, beyond the thick wall of fecal heat, automated phone trees and, re-animated tater tots, lives something sinister—a nightmare of a beast that average, everyday Floridians whisper about to their children when they step out of line. Nothing that goes in, comes out. Dare to join us as we wade into murky waters of the unknown?

Deep within the Cypress swamp, beyond the thick wall of fecal heat, automated phone trees and, re-animated tater tots, lives something sinister—a nightmare of a beast that average, everyday Floridians whisper about to their children when they step out of line. Nothing that goes in, comes out. Dare to join us as we wade into murky waters of the unknown?

Dave Trope Land is a wondrous place. Not a bumper sticker in sight and tatter tots everywhere. It’s the one place where you can truly be yourself without family getting in the way. And no one can shame you into eating healthy. Join us (though you shouldn’t) as we take a tour down short-term memory lane and catch up with Dave’s latest musings.

Dave Trope Land is a wondrous place. Not a bumper sticker in sight and tatter tots everywhere. It’s the one place where you can truly be yourself without family getting in the way. And no one can shame you into eating healthy. Join us (though you shouldn’t) as we take a tour down short-term memory lane and catch up with Dave’s latest musings.

We're back for episode 100! No matter where Dave has gone this summer, he’s had to deal with other people’s shit… err… snot. This is the first opportunity Dave has had to vent all summer, and he has a lot of heat built up that Johnny and his three HVAC units help to cool off. Between the pedophile activity in the neighborhood and avoiding being a dick to the local dwarf population, [REDACTED], FL has been an absolute shi– snot show. The post WSE100 Snot Rockets and Unicorns appeared first on Sterling & Stone.

We’re back for episode 100! No matter where Dave has gone this summer, he’s had to deal with other people’s shit… err… snot. This is the first opportunity Dave has had to vent all summer, and he has a lot of heat built up that Johnny and his three HVAC units help to cool off. Between the pedophile activity in the neighborhood and avoiding being a dick to the local dwarf population, [REDACTED], FL has been an absolute shi– snot show.

The Smarter Artist Summit wouldn’t be complete without the harrowing tale of Dave’s journey through the bowels of Louisiana, complete with a battle against OCD and shootout with a flat-earther. And for the grand finale: Dave reveals the secret blog he’s been hiding from Johnny for years. The post WSE99 Dave v. Louisiana appeared first on Sterling & Stone.

The Smarter Artist Summit wouldn’t be complete without the harrowing tale of Dave’s journey through the bowels of Louisiana, complete with a battle against OCD and shootout with a flat-earther. And for the grand finale: Dave reveals the secret blog he’s been hiding from Johnny for years.

What’s up Dave’s butt? Imagine living in a world where your wife is hogging the only pot large enough to make a reasonable amount of mac and cheese. Yeah. It’s that bad. Meanwhile, [REDACTED] is receiving dishwasher loading lessons from the Mrs. while she holds a dark secret about milk’s favorite cookie. This episode is sponsored by WifeSwap.com If you can't win your marriage, make sure no one does. The post WSE98 Two Truths and a Lie appeared first on Sterling & Stone.

Dave's best friend sent him a gift of “David's Cookies” to make up for the holiday classic A Very Davey Christmas and Dave has convinced us to turn our optimization skills toward keeping the cookie from crumbling. Also, Sean reads Dave's story ideas. We'd issue a trigger warning, but you're listening to Worst. Show. Ever. You know what you're getting yourself into. The post WSE97 Dave’s Christmas Cookie Extravaganza appeared first on Sterling & Stone.

We haven’t done this in a while, but we’re back by marginal demand. Now that Dave has lost his taste for subpar restaurant food, he’s finally ready to start his new YouTube career as an ASMR food reviewer. He would have started it already if it wasn’t for those pesky medical brace spam callers. And until we make him murder button to deal with them, the search for the world’s best brisket taco will have to wait. This episode is sponsored by FistingMitten.com: “What, soiled your mittens, you naughty kittens!” The post WSE96 Dave Gets Lubed appeared first on Sterling & Stone.

We’ve hit an all new low in effort on this show. Instead of actually recording an episode, we’re just using the audio from our other, much better show, The Story Studio Podcast. Unlike this show, it’s meant to add value rather than devalue your life. For perhaps the first time in Worst. Show. Ever. history, this one might actually be good. The post WSE95 The Real-Life Stories That Inform Our Fiction pt. 2 appeared first on Sterling & Stone.

Somehow we managed to create a show for our other podcast that’s so laid back that it actually feels like it should be a Worst. Show Ever. episode. Buckle-up. This one’s a two-parter. The post WSE94 The Real-Life Stories That Inform Our Fiction pt. 1 appeared first on Sterling & Stone.

Dave doesn’t ask for a lot out of life. He has revealed time and again how easy it is to live a fulfilled life by following three simple rules: 1. Limit your family time to one hour per day. 2. All the houses on your street must remain occupied. 3. Tentacle porn cereal should be part of your balanced breakfast. It’s that simple. And the sooner the rest of us get on board, the sooner we can all begin winning our marriages. The post WSE93 Unicorn Cereal appeared first on Sterling & Stone.

Now that school is back in session, we can finally get some work done—fully clothed, mind you. But with Dave’s dishwasher broken, and Sean’s hypothetical search for Jesus, only studious readings from Dave’s Book of Wisdom will deprogram our hate and keep us focused on less sweaty activities like Basketball and Fortnite. The post WSE92 Back to School Special appeared first on Sterling & Stone.

There’s a lot of bullshit Dave and his dad won’t put up with, especially after having to walk ten miles in the snow, uphill both ways. Sean and Johnny have yet to learn these lessons. Sean allows his daughter to make him fat on Panera Bread. Johnny’s kids have been distracting, proving that kids should be seen but not heard. Also: Dave watches Don’t Knock Twice, Infinity War, and Thor: Ragnarok. Two are great; the other you shouldn’t see once. The post WSE91 Bullshit Dave Won’t Do appeared first on Sterling & Stone.

No doctor in Florida can be trusted. They’ll either prescribe you life-threatening levels of HGTV or force you to sit in a chamber of farts with an asshole New Yorker. But Dave has a passive-aggressive solution to the asshole New York man in your life. The post WSE90 What’s Up Dave’s Butt Literally appeared first on Sterling & Stone.

Dave sees and spoils the movie Hereditary for everyone. So if you haven't seen it and still plan to, steer clear of this episode. Really, you shouldn't be listening to any of these unless you're wondering how sex crime occurs on cruise ships. The post WSE89 Dave Spoils Hereditary appeared first on Sterling & Stone.

Dave teaches us about the finer details of ASMR and video game spectating. We then plot with strategic precision to expose our kids to The Toxic Avenger. The post WSE88 The Toxic Avenger appeared first on Sterling & Stone.