Care OutLoud

In this deeply human and heartfelt episode, Mary sits down with clinical psychologist and NICU parent Frankie Harrison, founder of Miracle Moon, a global online support community for families navigating life after neonatal care. Frankie shares her powerful personal journey—from a traumatic pregnancy marked by preeclampsia, to a six-week NICU stay, to the emotional aftermath that reshaped not only her identity as a parent, but her entire professional path. Together, Mary and Frankie explore: What it means to experience trauma before, during, and after the NICU Why so many parents don’t realize they’re experiencing trauma until long after discharge How anxiety, hypervigilance, dissociation, and grief often hide beneath the surface The cultural and clinical barriers that make parents feel unseen, dismissed, or “palmed off” The healing power of community, validation, and meaningful attunement The critical need for clinician training, nervous-system literacy, and emotionally attuned care Why support shouldn’t end at NICU discharge—and what true post-NICU “rehab” might look like Frankie also shares the evolution of Miracle Moon—from an Instagram page to a global community providing trauma-informed resources, peer support, and evidence-based guidance for the long arc of healing that follows neonatal care. This conversation is a profound reminder that trauma-informed developmental care is not only for babies—it’s for parents, clinicians, and entire systems. And that healing happens in connection. NICU trauma as both a psychological and physiological experience Dissociation, survival mode, and why parents often can’t “take things in” while hospitalized The overlooked emotional labor of clinicians Shame reduction through validation and shared experience The need for rupture-and-repair in healthcare relationships Why birthdays, transitions, and milestones often retrigger trauma Strategies for rehumanizing clinical spaces How community care can become a lifeline Frankie Harrison, CPsychol, is a UK-based clinical psychologist and founder of Miracle Moon, a groundbreaking online community providing trauma-informed support for NICU families worldwide. After her own traumatic pregnancy and NICU journey, Frankie transformed her career to focus exclusively on neonatal trauma, parent mental health, and nervous system healing. Miracle Moon offers resources, videos, community spaces, and evidence-based guidance for families navigating life during and long after the NICU. Important Links: Miracle Moon: https://www.miraclemoon.co.uk⁠ Follow Frankie on Instagram: @miraclemoonuk  Podcast: https://www.miraclemoon.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn Learn more about Trauma-Informed Developmental Care If this episode resonates with you, please share it with a NICU parent, clinician, or advocate who could use the validation and support. And don’t forget to rate and review the podcast—it helps amplify trauma-informed conversations that change lives.

In this deeply moving episode of Care OUTLOUD, Mary sits down with Gigi Khonyongwa-Fernandez—author of From Rollercoasters to Carousels—for a heartfelt exploration of trauma, healing, and the transformative power of human connection. Gigi shares her journey through profound loss, her time in the NICU as a parent, and how those experiences inspired her to write a book that offers both solace and guidance for families and clinicians alike. Together, Mary and Gigi unpack what it means to “care out loud” in the face of suffering—to bring compassion and humanity into systems too often driven by data and efficiency. This conversation is an invitation to slow down, to listen deeply, and to remember that healing is not linear—it’s a lifelong dance between grief and grace, between breaking and becoming. Highlights include: The emotional realities of NICU life and how trauma manifests in silence. The invisible load families—and clinicians—carry long after discharge. How biases and systemic inequities shape the caregiving experience. The intersection of compassion, presence, and advocacy in trauma-informed care. Gigi’s insight that “compassion first, wisdom second” opens the door to true healing. About Gigi: Gigi Khonyongwa-Fernandez is an occupational therapist, leadership and organizational wellness coach, and the author of From Rollercoasters to Carousels: A Journey Through the Emotions of the NICU and Beyond. Her work centers on emotional wellness, equity, and the universal experience of healing. Resources Mentioned: From Rollercoasters to Carousels (available wherever books are sold) Gigi’s website: https://familiesblossoming.com/ Listen wherever you get your podcasts, and don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review.

We’ve been told the age of frontiers is over. The land has been mapped, the oceans charted, the digital frontier coded into our lives. But what if the greatest frontier has been here all along—not out there in unexplored territory, but in us? In this first episode of Frontiers of Humanity, Mary Coughlin invites you to consider a radical shift: that the next great frontier isn’t about conquest, invention, or expansion. It’s about courage, presence, and rehumanization. Mary reflects on the history of frontiers as spaces of extraction and conquest, and contrasts that with a new possibility: a frontier rooted in care, belonging, and collective flourishing. What you’ll hear in this episode: Why the old frontier model—expansion at all costs—is no longer sustainable How the real work of progress is expanding what it means to be human together Why care, belonging, and justice are not side issues but frontiers in their own right An invitation to reflect on your own role in crossing the frontier of humanity Check out her blog post on this topic HERE Reflection Prompt:Where do you see the frontier of humanity opening in your own life or work? Subscribe & Share:If this episode stirred something in you, share it with someone who’s also searching for a new way forward. And stay tuned for future episodes where we’ll explore the frontiers of care, belonging, healing, and democracy.

In this powerful episode of Care OutLoud, Mary sits down with Professor Dieter Wolke, a pioneering developmental psychologist whose research has shaped our understanding of prematurity and its lifelong impact. Professor Wolke reflects on his early work in the 1980s, when he challenged the medical community to consider the NICU environment not just as a site of survival, but as a place where sound, light, and human connection profoundly shape infants’ futures. From there, he shares insights drawn from decades of longitudinal studies—including the Bavarian Longitudinal Study, now following participants into their late 30s. Together, Mary and Professor Wolke explore: The origins of developmental care in the NICU and why environment matters. The concept of a “preterm phenotype”—hidden vulnerabilities that may not show up in standard follow-up, but shape social integration and well-being. How parental trauma and overprotection can echo across a child’s life. Why prematurity is not destiny—and how parenting, school support, and peer relationships can alter life trajectories. The urgent need for extended follow-up, case management, and societal investment beyond NICU discharge. This conversation is both grounding and inspiring—a reminder that small moments of care, advocacy, and support can change life courses. Interesting Links: Barda et al. (2025). The impact of socio-environmental factors on brain structure over the early life course of preterm-born individuals - A systematic review  Stegmann-Woessner et al. (2025). Forever premature: Adults born preterm and their life challenges  Wolke et al. (2019). The Life Course Consequences of Very Preterm Birth

CARE OUTLOUD: The Heart of It All – Final Episode This final episode is both a love letter and a challenge—to see ourselves as healers, citizens, and co-creators of the future. Mary reflects on the REIMAGINE vision, The People’s Declaration, and what it means to leave a legacy of care and courage. Because we are the ancestors of tomorrow—and the future is being written now. Want to go deeper? If this series has stirred something in you, consider becoming a Trauma-Informed Professional (TIP). TIP 2.0 is a transformative certification program that weaves science, soul, and skill to help you lead change—at the bedside, in your community, and in the world. Learn more or enroll HERE Download the reflection guide

CARE OUTLOUD: The Heart of It All – Solo Series with Mary Coughlin Language shapes more than just conversations—it shapes culture, care, and possibility. In this solo reflection, Mary explores how the words we choose—chart notes, labels, policies, and even the casual phrases we speak—can either create connection or perpetuate harm. This episode invites you to pause and consider: What story are we telling with our language? And what story do we want to tell? 🎧 Episode 5: Language Is Care - REFLECTION GUIDE Want to go deeper? If today’s episode stirred something in you—about how you write, speak, or lead—it might be time to explore what it means to become a Trauma-Informed Professional (TIP). The TIP 2.0 Certification program weaves science, soul, and skill into a transformative journey for clinicians, educators, and change-makers ready to lead healing through language, presence, and action. Learn more or enroll at → ⁠https://www.caringessentials.net/tip-certificate-program⁠ #BecomeATIP #TraumaInformedLeadership #HealingIsResistance

CARE OUTLOUD: The Heart of It All – Solo Series with Mary Coughlin When we talk about trauma-informed care, we must also talk about belonging. In this solo reflection, Mary explores how premature babies—and so many of us—are born into systems that were never built for us. The wound of exclusion runs deep, but healing begins with remembering: you were never meant to earn your place here. You already belong. This episode weaves stories from the NICU with generational patterns of disconnection, introduces the FACES–SPACES–PLACES framework by Lisa Cherry, and offers a gentle, powerful invitation to reclaim and redesign spaces of belonging—from the bedside to the ballot box. 🎧 Listen in for soul-tending truth and one bold call to action. Affirmation I do not have to shrink to fit in.I belong in the fullness of who I am—and I can create space for others to belong, too. Call to Action: Make space. Amplify a voice that’s been left out. Say, “You belong.” Access the reflection guide: HERE Learn more about trauma-informed belonging: HERE

This episode is for the caregivers—the ones who show up with open hearts and weary bones. I invite you into the paradox of caregiving: how the very thing that fuels your purpose can also deplete your reserves. And how honoring your tenderness isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. You’ll explore what it means to set boundaries without guilt, why emotional fatigue is not failure, and how the Tender Edge of care is actually where healing begins. A balm and a challenge for anyone carrying the weight of the world. Call to Action: Before you step in, step back. Let your body lead. DOWNLOAD The Reflection Guide HERE Want to go deeper? If today’s episode stirred something in you— a remembering, a reckoning, a call— you might be ready to become a Trauma-Informed Professional. The TIP Certification program weaves science, soul, and skill into a transformative journey for clinicians, educators, and changemakers who are ready to lead healing—from the bedside to the boardroom. Learn more or enroll at: [TIP 2.0 Program Link] #BecomeATIP #TraumaInformedLeadership #HealingInAction #TIP2Point0

Neutrality may feel like safety—but in trauma-shaped systems, it often reinforces the very harm we say we want to heal. In this solo episode, Mary Coughlin unpacks the myth of neutrality in clinical care, professional culture, and civic life. Drawing from decades of trauma-informed practice and recent personal truths, she explores how care disrupts systems built on disconnection—and why presence can never be passive. This episode is an invitation to speak one truth you’ve been holding. In a whisper or a roar—but speak it. In this episode, Mary reflects on: Why trauma-informed care is never truly apolitical How systems reward silence, and what it costs us The illusion of neutrality in healthcare and beyond How care becomes an act of disruption The politics of presence—and the quiet courage of speaking truth 🎧 LISTEN + SHARE 📝 Download the Free Reflection Guide 🔗 Stay connected: Website: https://caringessentials.net/ Newsletter: Monday Musings & News Instagram: @caring.essentials #CareOutLoud #TheHeartOfItAll

In this inaugural episode of Care OUTLOUD's The Heart of It All solo series, Mary Coughlin explores the profound connection between trauma and healing, science and soul, care and courage. Mary challenges the notion that love is merely sentimental, emphasizing its role as a first medicine and a powerful agent against trauma. She argues that real love involves presence, protection, and relational regulation and is an act of defiance against systems that do not reward love. The episode calls listeners to reflect on their understanding and practice of love and to take actionable steps to embody it in their everyday lives. 00:00 Introduction to Care Out Loud 00:30 The Biology of Love 00:47 Love in the NICU 01:44 Challenges in Systems 02:12 The Power of Love 03:42 Call to Action 04:30 Conclusion and Next Steps Links and Resources WEBSITE Reflection Guide Transcript

What happens when the person expected to be the protector is left out of the story entirely? In this heart-opening episode of Care Out Loud, Mary sits down with Alex Zavala, founder of The NICU Dad, to spotlight the overlooked yet vital experience of fathers navigating the NICU. From the trauma of separation and silence to the transformative power of peer support and advocacy, Alex shares his personal journey from NICU parent to national changemaker — and invites us to reimagine how we care. Together, Mary and Alex unravel: The hidden trauma and mental health toll NICU dads carry Why ignoring fathers isn’t benign — it’s a systemic failure with long-term consequences What true family-centered care looks like when we actually include dads How stereotypes about masculinity, emotion, and resilience get in the way of healing Practical strategies for clinicians to support fathers meaningfully and intentionally Alex doesn’t just name the problem — he’s living the solution. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone working in perinatal or neonatal care, and for every human who believes we can do better by families, starting with the quietest voices in the room. Because when we say family-centered, we have to mean every member of the family. 00:00 Introduction to Today's Guest: Alex Zavala 00:34 Alex Zavala's NICU Journey Begins 01:54 Founding NICU Dad: The Inspiration and Growth 03:43 Challenges and Realizations as a NICU Dad 05:02 The Role of Dads in the NICU: Personal Experiences 07:54 The Importance of Support and Community 09:36 Clinician and Dad Dynamics in the NICU 12:33 Advocating for Dads: Changing the System 20:04 Men's Mental Health and the Future of NICU Dad 25:17 Honoring Individual Experiences in Health Care 26:21 The NICU Journey: From Hospital to Home 28:14 Supporting NICU Dads: Tips and Strategies 29:43 The Importance of Physical and Spiritual Health 31:59 Addressing the Unique Needs of NICU Dads 39:54 The Impact of COVID-19 on NICU Dads 43:58 Caring Out Loud: Advocating for NICU Dads 48:09 Conclusion: The Future of Trauma-Informed Care Connect with Alex: Website: thenicudad.com Instagram: @thenicudad Call to Action After listening, take one bold step: Ask yourself — Who am I not seeing in the care I give? Clinicians: Bring this episode into your next team huddle. Families: Share this with a NICU dad in your life.

In this heart-opening episode of Care OutLoud, host Mary Coughlin sits down with Mary Jenner—pediatric nurse turned visionary entrepreneur and founder of The Butterfly Pig. What began as a creative spark to help children understand their medical care has evolved into a trauma-informed movement transforming pediatric healthcare through play. Mary shares the moving origin story behind The Butterfly Pig, how medically accurate toys like G-tubes, infusion pumps, and EKGs are helping kids feel safe, seen, and empowered in clinical settings, and why play is not just therapeutic—it’s essential. You’ll hear about: The moment a teddy bear IV sparked a transformation in patient trust The neuroscience and emotional safety behind play-based education How integrating toys into care routines reduces fear and fosters agency The vital role of respect, belonging, and connection in trauma-informed pediatric care Why parents and clinicians alike need to feel empowered—and how toys can help This episode is a call to rehumanize care for children and to embrace the creative, curious, and compassionate strategies that support healing on every level. Whether you’re a clinician, parent, educator, or just someone who believes in the power of kindness, this conversation will remind you that even the smallest gestures—like a toy with a feeding tube—can have profound impact. 🔗 Resources Mentioned: Learn more about The Butterfly Pig: https://thebutterflypig.com/ Purchase The Butterfly Pig children's book: https://thebutterflypig.com/product/the-butterfly-pig-new-childrens-book/ Digital Resources: CareCloud.TheButterflyPig.com Connect with Mary Jenner on Socials (Instagram, Facebook and TikTok): @thebutterflypig

Episode Summary:In this profoundly moving episode, Mary Coughlin sits down with Dr. Emma Jones — palliative care physician, mother, teacher, and author of The Phoenix Blueprint — to explore the raw truths behind burnout, healing, and reclaiming wholeness. Together, they unpack what it means to hit bottom not in a single moment, but over years of self-sacrifice, disintegration, and depletion. Emma shares her personal journey from collapse to renewal, her reflections on the myths of “self-care” and “compassion fatigue,” and the radical reimagining required to transform both healthcare systems and ourselves. This episode is a heart-centered call to stop hiding behind perfection, to embrace the messy fullness of our humanity, and to care out loud — in public, in connection, and in sacred witness to ourselves and each other. What You’ll Hear in This Episode: Emma’s unflinching account of crashing under the weight of burnout The false promises of surface-level “self-care” and why true care begins with receiving How high-achieving healthcare workers mask their wounds until collapse A reframing of compassion, empathy, and the language we use to describe exhaustion Insights on why trauma-informed care must start with self-integration A candid look at writing The Phoenix Blueprint as part of the healing journey Why thriving healthcare systems require thriving healthcare humans Gentle wisdom for anyone who feels they are burning and sees no way out Emma’s Whisper to Every Listener:“You are whole — and wholeness isn’t the absence of suffering. It’s being seen, heard, and honored as a whole person, not a problem to be solved.” Resources Mentioned:– Dr. Emma Jones’ book The Phoenix Blueprint– Website: emmajonesmd.com– Find her book wherever books are sold Work With Emma:Emma is currently offering flexible 1:1 sessions through summer and fall — an open invitation for anyone ready to explore their own path toward renewal. Connect + Reflect: What part of Emma’s story resonates with your own journey? Share your reflections with us on social media using #CareOutLoud or leave a review to let others know how this episode touched you. Join the Movement: Subscribe to CARE OUTLOUD to keep listening, reflecting, and learning how caring out loud changes lives — including your own.

In this final episode (for now), Mary Coughlin explores the profound importance of 'holding' as a central act of care and connection. She discusses the journey from the womb to the incubator, highlighting the need for emotional and spiritual nurturing in NICUs and beyond. The episode touches on themes of justice, belonging, and resilience, emphasizing that true healing and growth begin with the ability to hold space for oneself and others. Coughlin calls for a cultural shift towards presence and tenderness, inviting listeners to honorthe messiness of becoming and the transformative power of simply being there for one another. 00:00 Introduction: The Journey of Holding 00:39 The Sacred Act of Holding 01:12 The NICU: A Mechanical Cocoon 02:08 The Power of Being Held 03:54 A Blessing for You 05:02 Conclusion: The Revolution of Holding

In this episode of 'Womb to World,' Mary Coughlin challenges the typical narrative of trauma recovery, emphasizing that not everyone rises from adversity and that survival itself is courageous and holy. She explores the often-overlooked aftermath of trauma, highlighting the quiet ache and unfinished healing that many experience. By advocating for grace instead of growth, she redefines post-traumatic growth to include small victories and sacred rebellions. Coughlin calls for the recognition of the enduring impacts of trauma and encourages listeners to honor their slow, uneven journey towards healing without the pressure to justify their pace or transform pain into meaning. This heartfelt episode invites reflection on how we view trauma, healing, and the true nature of survival. Quote to Remember: “You don’t have to be a phoenix. Just breathing is a form of becoming.” Reflection Invitation:💭 What stories are you carrying that haven’t had space to be honored?💭 Who told you that you needed to be stronger, sooner? This episode makes space for the slow, honest work of living after survival. Because healing isn’t always about transformation—it’s about tenderness. 00:00 Introduction: The Myth ofRising from Trauma 00:42 Acknowledging the Aftermath 01:07 The Reality of Survival 01:34 The Hidden Scars of Trauma 02:07 Redefining Post-TraumaticGrowth 02:31 The Lingering Effects ofNICU 02:51 Small Victories and SacredRebellions 03:46 The Path to True Healing 04:46 Embracing the Slow HealingProcess 05:50 Conclusion: Honoring theAftermath

We love to celebrate resilience. We praise babies as “fighters,” parents as “strong,” and clinicians as “heroes.” But beneath those shiny words often lies a deeper truth: Resilience is not proof that no harm was done. It’s proof that someone survived. In this episode of Womb to World, Mary Coughlin invites listeners to unpack what resilience really means—especially in the NICU. From the tiny bodies enduring separation and procedures to the clinicians holding space without always being held themselves, this conversation explores the unseen cost of surviving systems that weren’t designed for healing. What if we stopped romanticizing survival? What if we started designing care that made thriving the baseline—not the exception? In this episode, we explore: Why resilience without relationship is just endurance How trauma lives in the nervous system—even when outcomes look “good” on paper The myth of the “strong baby” and the “grateful parent” How trauma-informed developmental care rewrites the story of survival What it means to create spaces of co-regulation, not just crisis response Key Quote: “Resilience isn’t about bouncing back. It’s about being held in the first place.” Reflection Prompt: Think of someone you’ve called resilient. Were you celebrating their strength—or overlooking their suffering? If this episode speaks to you, please share it with a colleague, a parent, or a fellow caregiver. Tag it. Talk about it. Reflect on it. Because healing begins when we stop calling survival the goal—and start making space for something more.

Summary: In this soul-stirring second episode of Womb to World, Mary Coughlin explores what it means to hold constitutional rights in the earliest moments of life. From the incubator to the delivery room, from presence to policy, this episode challenges us to reimagine justice, dignity, and voice—not as abstract ideals, but as birthrights. Through a trauma-informed, developmental care lens, Mary draws parallels between the NICU and the civic systems we all live within, asking: When do rights begin? And who gets to decide? In This Episode: The NICU as a reflection of societal justice and injustice The 9th and 14th Amendments through the lens of infant rights How trauma-informed developmental care restores voice, dignity, and belonging Why presence is political—and powerful A call to embody justice in every moment of care Quote to Remember: “We don’t just hold babies. We hold the future.” Reflection Invitation: What rights do you believe every baby is born with? How does your presence honor—or unintentionally withhold—those rights? Mentioned Concepts: The U.S. Constitution and the Ninth & Fourteenth Amendments Developmental care and trauma-informed practice in the NICU The concept of the incubator as a civic space Implicit bias and disparities in parental inclusion Justice as an act of care Subscribe & Share: If this episode moved you, please share it with a colleague, your team, or someone who cares deeply about justice in healthcare. And don’t forget to subscribe to Womb to World wherever you get your podcasts.

What does a U.S.-funded foreign prison have to do with your work in the NICU? In this solo Care OUTLOUD reflection, Mary walks with us—literally and metaphorically—through the story of the CECOT prison in El Salvador, exploring how systems of harm are mirrored in the ways we care (or fail to care) for families here at home. This isn’t about politics. This is about presence. About remembering that trauma-informed developmental care is not just a clinical model—it’s a form of cultural resistance. If you’ve ever wondered whether your care makes a difference in the midst of all this chaos, this episode is for you. ✨ Reflection Prompt: What’s one small moment today where I can flip the script—where I can bring more dignity, humanity, or softness into my practice? Mentioned: – The CECOT prison story – Trauma-informed developmental care → https://www.caringessentials.net/tip-certificate-program – The People’s Declaration → https://www.caringessentials.net/peoples-declaration – The REIMAGINE Movement → https://www.caringessentials.net/we-the-future

What does it mean to really care out loud? In this specialextended episode, I sit down with the incomparable Mia Malcolm—NICU parent, fierce advocate, and truth-teller. Mia shares her family's 268-day NICU journey, the generational trauma that shaped her perspective, and what healthcareproviders must understand if we ever hope to show up with true compassion, equity, and humility. We talk about systemic racism in medicine, trauma-informed care (and its absence), why being uncomfortable is part of the work, and the one moment of humanity that changed everything. This is more than a podcast—it’s a call toremember who we are, why we’re here, and who’s still drowning in a system that says “care” but often doesn’t show it. ⚠️ Warning: This episode contains powerful emotional content and references to medical trauma, racism, and loss. Important Links: Mia's LinkedIn Profile Watson L. & Malcolm M. (2021). Racism as a Preventable Harm. Nursing Administration Quarterly. 45(4), 302-310. doi: 10.1097/NAQ.0000000000000495.  Racism and Quality of Neonatal Intensive Care: Voices of Black Mothers Witt, R.E., Malcolm, M., Colvin, B.N., Gill, M.R., et al. (2022). Racism and Quality of Neonatal Intensive Care: Voices of Black Mothers. Pediatrics. 150 (3), e2022056971. 10.1542/peds.2022-056971.

In this episode, Mary sits down with Jennifer Bernardo, a mother of twins born at 26 weeks gestation, who shares her challenging and inspirational journey through the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). Jennifer discusses the unexpected birth, the four-and-a-half-month NICU stay, and the emotional and physical challenges faced by her family. She explains how this experience inspired her to write the book 'Week 26,' detailing their story of hope and perseverance. Jennifer alsoemphasizes the importance of communication between parents and healthcare professionals, highlighting how critical support and understanding are for families in the NICU. The episode concludes with Jennifer's advocacy efforts and her desire to continue inspiring and supporting other families going through similar experiences.   00:00Introduction to Jennifer 00:23Jennifer's NICU Journey 02:19Writing as a Healing Process 05:03Challenges and Support in the NICU 09:50Transitioning Home and Parenting Reflections 15:41The Role of Clinicians and Communication 33:30 Future Aspirations and Advocacy LINKS & RESOURCES The website: https://www.week26.com/ A little more about Jennifer: https://www.week26.com/author Where you cvan get the book: https://www.week26.com/purchase-week26