Carnalcopia

This week, Katie and Ashley tackle the topic of sex in public, and realize how different they are! Ashley explains why she loves being watched, while Katie needs things to be just right. Hear some of their favorite memories and settings, including Ashley's award-winning play party handjob, and when Katie just had to have her partner right there and then at a bar.

Going to the doctor isn't fun to begin with, but if you're non-monogamous, fat, queer, and/or kinky, it can be a nightmare. Ever gone to the doctor with a sniffle and been told to lose weight? How about answer invasive questions about your sexual history, or explain and justify your relationship? This episode's for you. Medical fat-shaming is not only frustrating and hurtful, it is outrightly dangerous, leading to missed or delayed diagnoses and prevention of care. Check out Ashley's post about her experiences with doctors while having her appendix taken out, and our dear friend Rebecca Hiles (The Frisky Fairy!)'s story of how medical fat-shaming caused her cancer to go undiagnosed for years. Katie and Ashley discuss the medical shaming and frustration they have experienced in regards to their sizes, sex, and sexualities. Katie models how she wishes things could be brought to her or worded instead, and Ashley offers tips for communicating with doctors to make it less intimidating.

For such a little word, "no" can be fraught with all sorts of anxiety. How do you know when you should be saying no to someone? Why is it so scary? Does it really have to be this hard? What if you give a no and someone ignores it anyway? This week Katie and Ashley explore what the word no has meant for them and how they've learned to listen to their bodies, and reflect on some of the no's they've given and received over time.

Sometimes there's nothing harder than talking about sex with the person you're having sex with, and Katie and Ashley know that struggle all too well. Why is it so hard to share kinks or interests with partners? What makes bringing up wanting to try something new such a daunting task? Why are some things harder to ask for than others? Hear the answers to these questions, as well as communication tips, tricks, and helpful things to keep in mind when asking for what YOU want from your partner(s).

Katie and Ashley are back, and kicking off their relaunch with a discussion on scarcity and abundance mentalities. Ever stay in a relationship because you thought you'd never find another one? Or go out with someone just because they asked, and who are you to turn them down? Ever feel like there just isn't enough love/work/friendship/sex to go around, so you have to cling to whatever you get and never ever ever let it go?? If you answered yes, you aren't alone! Following Ashley's blog post on the same topic, the girls decide that this one needs some more digging. They both explore how having a scarcity mentality has impacted their relationships, and dig into what can happen when you manifest abundance and leave room for the things that are right for you!

For most of us, sex education as teens involved shame, fear, and misinformation coming from the adults in our lives (whether teachers or parents). Katie and Ashley share their sex ed experiences, how they wish they would have been different, and why Adult Sex Ed Month matters. They also provide resources for finding high quality, inclusive, and sex positive information.

Katie and Ashley caught up with Sunny Megatron and Ken Melvoin-Berg to discuss all things BDSM and kink, from how to make a Yes/No/Maybe list to faux-waterboarding. Katie gets her questions answered, Ashley discovers she may be more of a top than she thought, and Sunny and Ken share the details of a scene they had just done earlier.

Usually, when we talk about consent, we’re talking about sex, and most of us have heard the phrase “Consent is Sexy” thrown around before. While consent most certainly can be sexy, Katie and Ashley think there’s more to it than that. This week they’re taking a deeper look at consent and the many different ways and places it affects all our lives.

May is International Masturbation Month, and Katie and Ashley are celebrating! They discuss how they like to masturbate, what masturbation means to them, as well as personal their histories of shame and masturbatory triumph.

We’ve all got fantasies about different things and for different reasons, whether to play out something that isn’t happening in real life, test the waters of things you’d like to try, or to take your sex (with yourself or anyone else!) to new heights. This week, find out what Katie and Ashley fantasize about, what Ashley’s most common request was as a phone sex operator, and the lengths Katie would go to avoid disclosing fantasies to partners.

Katie and Ashley bring Carnalcopia back to Catalyst, marking a year since Katie’s introduction to the sex-positive community and the birth of the podcast. They reflect on the past year (both personally and professionally), discuss finding your voice and place, and stop to tell a few more sexy stories along the way.

With fisting on both the girls’ respective sexy bucket lists, who better to stop by and give them a crash course than Allison Moon? Pre-negotiation, how to best give (and receive), what to do, what NOT to do, proper aftercare… school’s in session, and we’re covering it all!

Charlotte York may have been afraid of being Mrs. Up The Butt, but Katie and Ashley are diving in this week to get down and dirty with butt stuff. What happens when potentially good anal goes wrong? Why is Ashley’s ass a no-entry zone? What finally won Katie over? Knock on our back doors for all the anal answers.

Pussy eating, labia licking, snatch snacking… Katie and Ashley are talking all things cunnilingus this week with Sophie Delancey! Find out why Katie would rather give than receive, why Ashley loves dental dams so much, and everyone’s secrets for better giving and receiving.

Condoms, the pill, IUDs… Birth control comes in many forms, and Katie and Ashley have tried most of them. Despite their ease and availability, though, sometimes the method you’ve chosen to use fails. This week, the girls share their experiences with unintended pregnancy, from protestors to personal shame, and what to expect when you weren’t expecting.

For something as critical to enjoying healthy, happy relationships as boundaries, having them isn’t as easy as it looks. Katie and Ashley are joined this week by their friend and personal boundaries ninja, Hilary Nunes, to discuss the importance and logistics of effective boundary placement and enforcement, reflecting on their own struggles and triumphs along the way.

Katie and Ashley get to the bottom of all the things they swore they could never be into, from phone sex and dirty talk to strap-on sex and anal. They discuss what helped their opinions change, where they came from to begin with, and the difference between knowing your limits and knocking something before you try it.

There are a million different ways that a person can identify, from sexual orientation to relationship style to the beliefs we all hold that shape our sense of self. This week, Katie and Ashley discuss their personal journeys of discovery and self-identity, sharing what boxes they fit into (or don’t!), the experiences they’ve had along the way, and how they came to terms with who, and what, they are.

For most of us, sex education as teens involved shame, fear, and misinformation coming from the adults in our lives (whether teachers or parents). Katie and Ashley share their sex ed experiences, how they wish they would have been different, and why Adult Sex Ed Month matters. They also provide resources for finding high quality, inclusive, and sex positive information. Links: http://www.adultsexedmonth.com/ http://www.passionateu.com/ http://www.redheadbedhead.com/sex-shops-tour/ Carnalcopia 35 will be the last episode we record as a Swingset podcast, you’ll always be able to find our episodes at www.thecarnalcopia.com.

How much do you know about the lube that you’re using? (Are you using lube? Hopefully we’ll convince you!) Katie and Ashley get geeky in this overview of all things lube. From the ideal viscosity of silicone anal lube to an ingredient overview (especially ingredients to avoid!), they pack tons of great information into this episode!