Charting Toward Intimacy

Download your free copy of What the Church Actually Says About Sex and Marriage right here In this episode of Reclaiming Catholic Intimacy, Ellen Holloway shares what it was like six months into her marriage when she honestly thought she might never like sex and could live without it. She talks about the purity culture messages that made sex feel bad and dirty, and the slow journey that helped her see it as something good, holy, and actually enjoyable. If you’ve ever wondered “what if I just never like sex,” this episode will feel very familiar and really hopeful.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/ellenholloway_/ or email us at info@vinesinfullbloom.com

Download your free copy of What the Church Actually Says About Sex and Marriage right here In this episode Ellen Holloway explains the concept of “spectatoring,” the mental habit of monitoring yourself during sex instead of being present in the experience. She explores why this is so common among women, including influences like purity culture, performance pressure, body image concerns, and anxiety about doing sex “correctly.” Ellen also shares practical tools to interrupt spectatoring, including sensory grounding techniques and mindset shifts that help you stay present with your husband.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/ellenholloway_/ or email us at info@vinesinfullbloom.com

Download your free copy of What the Church Actually Says About Sex and Marriage right here In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway explains the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire and why misunderstanding these patterns often causes frustration in marriage. She walks through simple questions that help women identify their primary desire style and explains why many wives struggle when they wait to feel “in the mood” before engaging. Ellen also shares how responsive desire actually grows in the right context and how shifting one key question during initiation can transform a couple’s sexual connection. This episode helps Catholic wives better understand their desire and approach intimacy with greater confidence and freedom.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/ellenholloway_/ or email us at info@vinesinfullbloom.com

In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes discuss the impact of romance novels, story based erotica, and popular television dramas on female arousal and marital intimacy. They explain how anticipation and imagination shape women’s desire, and why directing those dynamics toward fictional characters can undermine connection with your husband. The conversation explores the concept of emotional pornography, the differences between male and female arousal patterns, and practical ways to cultivate healthy sexual anticipation within marriage.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/ellenholloway_/ or email us at info@vinesinfullbloom.com

In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway discusses the connection between sleep and sexual desire for women. She explains how chronic exhaustion puts the body into survival mode, lowering both libido and enjoyment of sex, and why pushing through fatigue often backfires. Ellen offers practical guidance on how much sleep women truly need, especially during pregnancy and postpartum, and how to reprioritize responsibilities to support a healthier sex life.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/ellenholloway_/ or email us at info@vinesinfullbloom.com

In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes challenge the belief that husbands should always be the pursuers in marriage and explain why wives are also called to pursue. They discuss the spiritual roots of this dynamic, the fear of rejection that can hold women back, and the resentment that often keeps intimacy stalled.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com

In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway explores how to prevent scheduled sex from turning into checkbox sex. She breaks down the real reason scheduled intimacy can start to feel like a burden and teaches you how to rewire your mindset so that sex becomes something you joyfully anticipate. Using relatable analogies and spiritual reflection, Ellen offers practical tools to bring excitement, connection, and intentionality back into your intimate life.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com

In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes explore the deep and often hidden impact of resentment in marriage. They discuss how unspoken feelings of unfairness and unmet expectations can slowly erode intimacy, especially in the bedroom. Through personal stories and spiritual insights, they reveal how resentment may be the true barrier to connection, not libido or effort. You’ll learn practical ways to root it out, start healing, and truly love both yourself and your spouse.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com

In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway unpacks the moral and theological considerations of stopping sex due to pain. She explains why halting the act isn’t sinful when the intention was to complete it, and emphasizes the importance of addressing the root causes of painful sex. Ellen also discusses the pain-fear-tension cycle, the potential consequences of delaying a stop, and how healing involves both pelvic floor therapy and mindset work.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com

 In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes unpack the spiritual battle at the heart of intimacy, the impact of Satan’s lies on couples striving for holiness, and why struggle may actually signal sanctity. The conversation includes practical encouragement, spiritual tools like the St. Michael Prayer, and the importance of inviting God into every part of your marriage.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com

Join us in Want it and Enjoy it an 8 week group coaching program for Catholic women to reignite desire, pleasure, and joyful sex. Can't wait to see you inside! In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway explores why simply learning about intimacy doesn't automatically lead to change in your sex life. She explains how desire and pleasure are rooted in the nervous system, why emotional safety is essential, and how true transformation requires more than just information. Ellen also shares how her eight-week coaching program, Want It and Enjoy It, provides the supportive container needed to create lasting change.  JOIN THE FREE WEBINAR ON JANUARY 21 at 1:30 PM PT/4:30 pm ET REGISTER HERE! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com

Join our email list and be the first to know about the new coaching program launching January 19, 2026.  In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway addresses the common feeling of wanting to enjoy sex but not knowing how. She explores the physical, emotional, and mental roadblocks that prevent pleasure, from lack of arousal to Catholic guilt around desire. Ellen explains why pleasure is part of God’s design and not a selfish pursuit, and she offers practical steps to begin enjoying sex, including the importance of body literacy and emotional connection.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com Ready to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

Make sure you're on our email list to be notified when the new program is available! In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway addresses one of the most common struggles Catholic wives face: not wanting sex. She explains the five most common desire blocks and how to identify which one may be affecting you. Ellen also teaches the three foundational pillars that create real, lasting sexual desire. If you've been stuck in cycles of obligation or shame, this episode offers a clear path toward healing and rediscovering sexual desire in your marriage.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com Ready to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes to explore the overwhelming experience of feeling "touched out." They dive into why this sensation happens, why husbands often don’t understand it, and how to clearly communicate your needs without causing disconnection. Practical tools like grounding techniques, body-awareness exercises, and the “10-minute unwind” are shared to help you shift from sensory overload to sexual readiness.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com Ready to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway unpacks how disappointment can sabotage your sex life. She explores why unmet expectations, like not receiving the Christmas gift you hoped for, often lead to resentment and sexual withdrawal. Ellen offers practical mindset shifts and clear communication strategies to help you avoid turning sex into a transactional exchange. This episode equips you to protect intimacy in your marriage and show up fully, even when things don't go as planned.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com Ready to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

Please rate and review Charting Toward Intimacy on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes explore the common belief that NFP is the problem in Catholic marriages. They share personal experiences and discuss how the true issue is often a lack of non-sexual intimacy. The conversation offers practical tools for cultivating emotional closeness and connection outside the bedroom, helping couples reconnect and feel united, even during seasons of abstinence.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com Ready to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

Please take a moment to rate and review Charting Toward Intimacy! It helps other women find the podcast and transform their marriages.  In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway explores the Feast of the Immaculate Conception through a powerful and rarely considered lens: the sanctity of the sexual union that conceived Mary. She reflects on how Anne and Joachim’s openness to grace reveals God's profound affirmation of the dignity of sex within marriage. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com Ready to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

Please rate and review Charting Toward Intimacy! It helps other women find the podcast and benefit from it! In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway dives into the damaging expectation that your husband should be able to read your mind (especially when it comes to emotional and sexual needs). She explores why this belief undermines true intimacy and reframes what genuine, loving actions look like in marriage. Ellen breaks down the importance of asking clearly for what you want, and how your husband's choice to respond, even reluctantly, can still be deeply loving.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com Ready to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

Last chance to get courses at Vines in Full Bloom. These will no longer be for sale after November 30, 2025 In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chovanes explore the difference between eroticism and holy sex, drawing insights from Dr. Gregory Popcak's book Holy Sex. They discuss how purity culture, shame, and cultural misconceptions distort our understanding of sexual pleasure and God's design. This conversation unpacks what it means to embrace your full self in the bedroom, how arousal and intimacy work together, and why holy sex actually grows more joyful over time.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com Ready to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses

Vines in Full Bloom Courses right here!  In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway dives into the struggle of making time for sex in the midst of a packed, modern-day schedule. She challenges the cultural norm of constant busyness and offers a clear, practical strategy for prioritizing intimacy. Ellen explains why spontaneity might be sabotaging your sex life and how intentional prioritizing can reignite desire and connection in marriage.  ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com Ready to improve your sex life and take it to the next level? Check out our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses