Clam & Jackie Bam

Clam & Jackie Bam are going on a 9 month hiatus from September. We’ve been invited on an experimental pregnancy-residency on Mars or some shiet... So please—enjoy our last (for now) mic'd up chat, wherein we discuss an excellent exhibition at the George Paton Gallery, the Victorian Pet Census, and a shocking mural controversy in St Kilda. We also check in with the GOAT Freddie Never about the cultural and spiritual significance of the Misc 2 Year Birthday Party. Ciao for now!

The Gertrude Studio Program is one of Australia’s most highly regarded contemporary art residencies. This year, 182 artists applied, eight were selected, and ONE sat down with Clam & Jackie Bam to eat hot chips and shoot the sh*t. Narrm’s resident PC shock jocks were delighted to chat with Georgia Morgan aka @scorpiopork about art, intention, babies, Bondi, Judaism, Hinduism, trash, and more in this special un Extended audio commission. Special thanks to Aud Pfister :~) PLUS: we're having PRES at Flippy's Bar this Saturday 5th August from 4-7pm. All are welcome, especially those willing to play Never Have I Ever.

World Class Sinners Clam & Jackie Bam take the mic again. These culture vultures are tireless, covering the Naarm's Aldi Dark Mofo, RISING, and HBO's contro The Idol. Plus they try solve the housing crisis.

It’s cold. The leaves are changing. Are you suffering from SAD (super aggressive desire to listen to Clam & Jackie Bam)? Us too. We’ve been soooo busy/ sad. The cure is here. TOPICS: Karen’s Diner triple date, Met Gala stuff, Ellery in Paris (even more of a scam than that Netflix show). Also: Aesop $3.7B sale fable (tortoise loses to hare testing corporation).

We were LIVE at MPAVILION on 04/03/23 Relive the magic with this recording Not captured: Jackie Bam's Ozzy Osbourne style entrance- this time round, tearing the heads off of tiny Koala toys instead of a live bat. Captured: everything else

THE KLAM & JACKIE BAM SHOW STREAMED LIVE ON 16/02/23. Firstly, here's an invitation! Join us on 4 March, 4pm, at MPAVILION w. Kalyani & Ponzu Island & SLAMROSS1000. Fun IRL hangout afternoon under the lush orange canopy in the stunning botanical gardens, more info here: https://mpavilion.org/program/pavs-clam-and-jackie-bam-takeover/ Onto business. Valentine’s Day Debate… love will tear us apart, affirmative or negative? CENSORI OVERLOAD!!! Who is Kanye West’s new wife, the Ivan-hostess with the mostess? We dine out at College Dropout burgers and get that juicy patty goss. Also on the menu: interview with iconic artist Peter Tyndall, who has a major retrospective on now at Buxton Contemporary. It is a long convo but really cute + amazing to hear from someone who has been making art for so many years and has real joie de vivre... you know it when you hear it

BAZINGA WE’RE BACK New year, same old Clam & Jackie Bam. Except now we twitchin’! That’s right. Radio, old school, just like it always was. Except now it’s LIVE on Twitch TV and RECORDED wherever you get your radio shows.  (British Accent) We discuss Alexander McQueen @ NGV and pay homage to Dame Vivienne Westwood. (End British accent). What’s allegedly in and out in 2023? Game show edition. And what the efff happened with the BIZARRRRRO Azaelia Banks tour? We poof the doof and attempt to discover some truth.  Plus reviews of Power Without Glory (book) + the politics of Fitzroy North Korea local council drama.  Mad love to our sexy new producer Ruby Schwartz and our forever stallion Martin Lazar. BIG NEWS FOR YOU: WE ARE HAVING A LIVE SHOW / MASSIVE PARTY ON MARCH 4 AT MPAV FT. SLAMROSS1000, PONZU ISLAND AND KALYANI

Clam and Jackie Bam will return LIVE in 2023 on Twitch. Until then, enjoy this little treat on us. 1. Theme Song 2. Fitzroy Pool Part 1  3. Wine Drop Shipping  4. Sally Olds  5. Kelly’s Voicemail 1 6. Fitzroy Pool Part 2 7. Northcote Golf Course Campaign  8. assmaster5000  9. Church intro 10. The Baroness Trailer 11. One Dollar Phones 12. Kelly’s Voicemail 2 13. Grant Lottery 14. Chelsea of 99% 15. Baroque outro v2 16. BOND 17. Chanel 18. Butch Daitz Handbags 19. MJC 20. Kelly’s Voicemail 3 21. Swamp Monster 22. Bat Mitzvah Invitation 23. New Age Mega Sale 24. Lentl 25. Coburg Sex Toy Library 26. Vale Warnie (Part 1) 27. Lions Share 28. Slutty Dogs 29. Children's Steak 30. Kelly’s Voicemail 4 31. Vegan Bone Broth 32. DFSR 33. Spill the Milk 34. Melbourne Phone Book 36. Dental Dam Leaky Weir 35. Kelly’s Voicemail 5 37. Shmatte  38. Dr Crystal’s Healing Vet Clinic 39. Crystal Balls 40. Uncle Tony’s Salty Delights 41. MILFRUN 42. 360 bed 43. Naarm eruption 44. Alien Sublet 45. Pussybells 46. Big Baguette Bakery 47. Interlude 1  48. Deflation goggles 49. Mr Beaky interview  50. Interlude 2 51. Melbourne Francophile Society 52. Interlude 3 53. Gag Hairdressing 54. Pap Shmear 55. Live Insurance 56. Flippys Plug 57. Peer pressure Dido 58. Poop 

Clam & Jackie Bam was LIVE + LOCAL (is there any other way?!) on Thursday 20/10/22 on Crawl Radio.  COME WATCH US "DJ" AT FLIPPY'S October 29, care of Audrey Schmidt/ DJ Dedications' Queerbait Residency. THE WEATHER It’s getting wet and steamy. Sorry!!!! But it is. DEAD DOG OP SHOP SCAM You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but you can run a sham animal charity from a Sydney Rd Op Shop if you commit to the bit hard enough. All dogs go to heaven, all proceeds go somewhere. We investigate. BABY’S FIRST MINI SERIES The Jews run Hollywood, or at the very least, the Classic Elsternwick. We recap the premiere screening of Jackie Bam’s experimental TV show, Dvar. Feat. Martin Lazar. CRITIC’S CORNER We discuss a controversial new article on the scourge of care discourse in the arts and the perils of credits and criticism (the author shall not be named in this caption). CYBER INSECURITY DuckDuckGofuckyourself Optus. TURN ON, TUNE IN, DROP OUT.

CLAM AND JACKIE BAM were rolling raw, uncut and LIVE on the CRAWL RADIO digital airwaves on 15/9/22.  Where else can you hear about important shifts in the Australian industrial relations landscape alongside poly-commune proposals? We try to practice what we preach, btw.  RIP QUEEN (NOT YOU) Monarchy death, discussed. STAND UP, FIGHT BACK, NERDS Bookworms deserve a living wage. We cover the industrial dispute at Readings and try figure out if proposed changes to the BOOT are a Trotskyite persecution or a red-tape clearing opportunity *worm juice churns.* PEOPLE WHO LUNCH Come dine with us. Sex, drugs, communication, automation, Venice, Brisbane and crypto are all on the menu as we discuss Sally Olds’ urgent new book. Post-work polyamory now?! FUR GAG Hot off the perm press, there’s a new hair to the Fur throne. All hail Eri’s GAG Hairdressing. THE REHEARSAL Guess which one of us wants to fuck Nathan Fielder? You’ll have to tune in to find out… Let’s HBO GOOOOO.

CLAM AND JACKIE BAM were BACK on air THURSDAY 11/8/22 5:30PM on Crawl Radio after a much needed hiatus. Where? Why? The details are none of your business. MAROSKE MALL RATS: Your hosts report on our exclusive preview of an unreleased new collection that we saw first, by the Peechiest designers West of Sydney Rd.  ACMI: Always Cool Movies Innit, Ayyy Cum’Ma Inside (for a film). Fed Square fantasies at LIGHT and MIFF. WOW. INTO THE EVERYWHEN: Shahn Stewart and Eden Fiske are triple-threats: artists, lovers and now curators of a new smash hit Craft Victoria exhibition. Phone-in, with postscript by talking budgie Mr Beaky. FREDDIE NEVER TELLS: Vibe check with our favourite club critic. GREEN BAN: Longtime listeners will remember our early investigative journalism on the fight to open the Northcote Golf Course to the public. We’ve got updates… TURN UP, TUNE IN, DROP OUT.

Clam & Jackie Bam was LIVE + LOCAL (is there any other way?!) on 22/06/22 on Crawl Radio. FREDDIE NEVER FORGETS Crawl Radio becomes a Temporary Autonomous Zone in Collingwood Yards as we welcome everybody’s favourite German anarchist club critic to the studio. AN EXCITING AND VIVID INNER LIFE We review Melbourne’s it-literati star Paul Dalla Rosa’s new book of short stories. Let’s get alienated! RIP HOSPOVOICE The “Netflix”-style hospitality union recently carked it. Have you ever cried in a walk-in fridge? Now there is no special union for you. SOUL-STICE SEARCHING Your hosts attend a Roman winter solstice festival in the Brunswick East backwoods… there were dungeon synths, chicken heart skewers and a blazing minion effigy. TURN ON TUNE IN TURN UPPPPP the digital RADIO! Danke.

The Clam and Jackie Bam Show was on air again... LIVE at 5:30 PM on 27/5/22 on Crawl Radio. SCHMATTES TALK: We discuss the Helmut Newton exhibition with the help of local historian Lesley Sharon Rosenthal, she of “​​Fabulous Frocks, Funky Fashion and Flinders Lane” book fame. GUCCI, BENJAMIN, ARENDT, OH MY!: Your hosts get theoretical about Gucci Resort ‘23. CLUB NITE GUEST LIST: Bring on the theatre gays, we got ourselves a sneak preview of this meme page turned Miscellania main stage play. MILFRUN: Groceries in 10 minutes? That shit can’t be legal. Will it be libel on our part, or criminal negligence on the ”hipster” company card? ALBO GOLEM TIME: Reading Liberal election ads after the election. You know what they say about people in glass houses… TUNE IN TURN ON DROP OUT. Again, please do not refer to us as a “podcast.”

The Clam and Jackie Bam Show was on air again, man... LIVE at 5:30 PM on 3/8/22 Crawl Space Radio. White (Passing) Dreads: Jackie-Bam, back from hiatus, reports on a secret society of staunch women in Newcastle. Clam also returns from deep in Fremantle’s Jungle Bar. Here’s an insight for weary travellers: a backpacker cosplay can work wonders for the soul. Lentil as Nothing: Speaking of those spiritual creatures, guess which famous social enterprise closed up this week? Turns out lentil dahl is less liquid gold, more liquidation. Clam and Jackie discuss whether there really ever is such a thing as a free lunch. MUMA Issues: Blah blah, MeMO Review, blah blah Saturday Paper, blah blah Vivienne Binns exhibition at MUMA. The thing is: it’s good. Clam and Jackie Bam blah blah blah. Bahahaha. E-scooter Girls: Fuck, marry, kill: Lime scoot, Neuron scoot or wind-in-your-hair zipline over the Yarra? EXCLUSIVE: broadcast of a Communist Music Festival. Turn on, tune in, drop out.

Clam & Jackie Bam was LIVE + LOCAL on CRAWL RADIO on 28/04/22 with ORIGINAL ADS made in the MU MU 5000 STUDIO. Our 6 month anniversary episode. The honeymoon phase? Honestly… still going strong. SEMI-HARD RUBBISH: Brunswick streets have been stacked with household garbage for weeks as an industrial dispute drags on between the Transport Workers Union and devious waste management conglomerate Cleanaway. Who’s the real trash here? WITCHES, BRITCHES n SNITCHES: Residents saw some high-order shit going down at West Melbourne’s premiere theatre restaurant this week. We get the eyewitness reports. WOWSERS NOT INVITED: Norman Lindsay artworks depicting some seriously debauched Bacchanalia are on display at UniMelb right now. Jackie Bam takes on Clam to break it down. This is an inside job. $22K SKULL-BANANA DECAPITATION: The violent story behind Fitzroy’s saddest public artwork fail (this month). 3ZYZZ: ethnic community radio station 3ZZZ is holding a serious internal review after a rogue broadcaster made pro-Putin waves. Global geopolitics, micro-local radio. Tune in, turn on, drop out brrrrruh, CRAWL RADIO on THURSDAYS and ONLINE shortly after.

Clam & Jackie Bam was LIVE + LOCAL on THURSDAY 31/3/22. Major news week. SHANE WARNE'S FUNERAL: your hosts attended the State Memorial Service for Mr Shane Warne, respectfully, to report on this momentous secular ritual. CEREMONY: we give our friend Emily a ring to chat about the 4th National Indigenous Art Triennial: Ceremony, which opened at the NGA last weekend. SPIKED: nobody saw him put it in the plastic cup, but there’s no denying y’all just got SPIKED. Unhhhh. Everyone’s been talking about the Spike Art Magazine scene report. We have no opinion on the matter… ok, fine… as a “writer” and as a “lingering smell of wet carpet,” we have a few. CUBEGATE: patrons of nightlife hotspot Miscellania were shocked out of their comedowns this week by the news that a gigantic glowing cube had been stolen from a minimal-tech-house club event. What kind of trickster would do this? Tune in, bro, turn on, man, drop out, famiglia. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The CLAM AND JACKIE BAM show streamed LIVE and LOADED on Thursday, December 16 at 5:30 PM with Crawl Space Radio: https://busprojects.org.au/program/crawl-space-radio. BENT METAL REPORT: a grungy mega-sculpture in Acland Court, a private auction sale, a community Facebook group in shock and a twisted glimpse at a St Kilda of the past. BEWARE THE SASQUATCH: Jewish art stuff, obviously. The angel of death paid a visit to the heavily alfoiled East Melbourne Shul. Clam asks Jackie Bam: what in Hashem’s name was that all about? MISCELLECTUALS: finishing school x DJ school is now in session. A queer elder sits down to discuss the art of club conversation. This is intergenerational warfare, rooftop rats. RABBI WIKIPEDIAVITCH: can you copy and paste G-d? Plagiarism comes back to bite a beleaguered rabbi in this sordid J-com affair. DUUUUDE, WHERE'S MY ART: Everyone’s been talking about the art dealer from Hell/ Brunswick West. We weigh in. Also: voicemails, ads, and tracks. Pce. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

CLAM AND JACKIE BAM WAS LIVE AND LOCAL, THURSDAY 20/01/22 5:30 PM ON @crawlspaceradio CHANEL: FASCIST MANIFESTO Nazism isn’t very chic, Coco. Or is it? Maybe just in rayon silk crepe. THE F WORD Celesbians of all genders have been getting lucky at Flippy’s, a new queer bar on Sydney Road. A report on this major destination, with insider insights from the artist-footy player power couple publicans.* SLOUCHING TOWARDS SMITH ST As a new generation of slut savants and depressant women writers come of age, do we side with the dour wisdom of Didion, or the tits up joviality of Babitz? OUTSIDER ARTISTS Two city slickers share the choicest spots to leave society and become one with the streets. WORLD WIDE PREMIERE Jackie Bam’s Bat Mitzvah Invitation CD is locked and loaded. Turn up, tune in, drop out. *opportunity for listener contribution, gay collective responsibility activated. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.