Critically Drinking

Today's episode is all about creating clarity about what content in the media is doing to our consumption habits and how it makes us feel. First, I need to make a confession. I got busy. Now busy isn't an excuse for anything, but busy was quickly followed by being overwhelmed. The messages in the media and the content I was consuming became more and more hateful during the lead up to the US election last year. I was saddened to discover that friends and relatives were trolls and in some cases full of anger and venom and that was something that I just couldn't take. So... I went dark. From social media and content creation to recording and publishing episodes of this podcast, I chose silence. What I forgot during this time of hiding my head in the sand was that the only way to slow down the hate and ugly in the world is to dilute it with good. If we take in good, that is what we start to see in the world around us. Things like bias and hate can only grow if their messages outnumber the great ones. "If we take in positivity and great hopes for humanity that is what we embody"-Erin Burrell It's time for us as content creators to share stories of inspiration and hope so that we can be a part of the world we know can exist. What I'm reading, watching, and listening to: Reading: The Color Purple by Alice Walker- a story of religion, triumph, and self-discovery On Competition by Michael Porter-one of the best business books of all time Watching: Brooklyn 99-laugh and enjoy Jane the Virgin- hard not to become consumed by a modern masterpiece Listening Finding Mastery with Michael Gervais-every episode takes you on a quest Personality Hackers- Myers-Briggs meets modern common sense Fly My Pretties-ensemble music that tells a beautiful story

Today's episode is all about creating clarity about what content in the media is doing to our consumption habits and how it makes us feel. First, I need to make a confession. I got busy. Now busy isn't an excuse for anything, but busy was quickly followed by being overwhelmed. The messages in the media and the content I was consuming became more and more hateful during the lead up to the US election last year. I was saddened to discover that friends and relatives were trolls and in some cases full of anger and venom and that was something that I just couldn't take. So... I went dark. From social media and content creation to recording and publishing episodes of this podcast, I chose silence. What I forgot during this time of hiding my head in the sand was that the only way to slow down the hate and ugly in the world is to dilute it with good. If we take in good, that is what we start to see in the world around us. Things like bias and hate can only grow if their messages outnumber the great ones. "If we take in positivity and great hopes for humanity that is what we embody"-Erin Burrell It's time for us as content creators to share stories of inspiration and hope so that we can be a part of the world we know can exist. What I'm reading, watching, and listening to: Reading: The Color Purple by Alice Walker- a story of religion, triumph, and self-discovery On Competition by Michael Porter-one of the best business books of all time Watching: Brooklyn 99-laugh and enjoy Jane the Virgin- hard not to become consumed by a modern masterpiece Listening Finding Mastery with Michael Gervais-every episode takes you on a quest Personality Hackers- Myers-Briggs meets modern common sense Fly My Pretties-ensemble music that tells a beautiful story

Lucy O’Connor is a lot of things, but more than anything she is human. Giving up a day job with an approved career path and a secure income is not a luxury that all of us can afford, but it’s exactly what she did. I know that running off to chase a dream is something that a lot of us fantasize about doing, but are afraid of the ramifications. Almost a year ago Lucy quit her 9-5 to chase her dream of working in a new field all the while documenting her story on her Monday Hustle website and associated social media accounts. Telling her story with honesty and humility is what has caused her to not only create a connection with her readers, it has helped her to create a space where reflections on victories can be celebrated right beside stories of the hard times. The creation of her public persona has actually served to bring her even closer to her family as she shares her feelings in real time with the world. Unfortunately, not every day has been fun. Being lonely, losing friends, and being responsible for creating her own motivation to hustle is not as easy as it seems, but as she navigates each new challenge, Lucy’s story it helping people around her and she feels that using her strengths can fuel the energy of her readers. ”I love to make people feel empowered and I realised that that was my thing”.

Lucy O’Connor is a lot of things, but more than anything she is human. Giving up a day job with an approved career path and a secure income is not a luxury that all of us can afford, but it’s exactly what she did. I know that running off to chase a dream is something that a lot of us fantasize about doing, but are afraid of the ramifications. Almost a year ago Lucy quit her 9-5 to chase her dream of working in a new field all the while documenting her story on her Monday Hustle website and associated social media accounts. Telling her story with honesty and humility is what has caused her to not only create a connection with her readers, it has helped her to create a space where reflections on victories can be celebrated right beside stories of the hard times. The creation of her public persona has actually served to bring her even closer to her family as she shares her feelings in real time with the world. Unfortunately, not every day has been fun. Being lonely, losing friends, and being responsible for creating her own motivation to hustle is not as easy as it seems, but as she navigates each new challenge, Lucy’s story it helping people around her and she feels that using her strengths can fuel the energy of her readers. ”I love to make people feel empowered and I realised that that was my thing”.

The phrase madly in love with beer doesn't even begin to describe Ren Navarro. As one of the five founders of The Society of Beer Drinking Ladies, you would guess that she has been known to imbibe in fermented hops and barley from time to time, but she is so much more than just a gal who drinks beer. The Society is pretty focused on being a part of a fully inclusive environment and while they stand behind the ladies only until midnight rule it isn't a hard stop. "You identify as a woman, you like beer. Come on down". SOBDL is not just about beer either. They also are proud supporters of the Canadian Women's Foundation and as Ren puts it "Use their powers for good" by drinking beer and supporting the cause "how could you go wrong with that?" It's added up to a lot of support raising more than $10,000 for the charity since they started. "How is it that the beer industry says that women don't drink beer?" -Ren Navarro Telling us that her "inner artist likes the creation" of beer is just the beginning of the flavour notes that describe Ren. A passionate believer that you can crush stereotypes and try new things she advocates for the "just go on do it approach". Motivated by a curious mind and a love for all things beer and photography related she is filling her days with a long list of different creative pursuits that keep her excited about life. "Life is too short to be like: I just did one thing". "I feel like if I’d done it differently I wouldn’t have ended up here" Ren Navarro You can find Ren on Twitter or Instagram. Follow her, you won't be disappointed. Don’t forget to show some love submit a comment or review! Subscribe to get alerts on new episodes and more or find us on iTunes, Soundcloud, or Stitcher.

The phrase madly in love with beer doesn't even begin to describe Ren Navarro. As one of the five founders of The Society of Beer Drinking Ladies, you would guess that she has been known to imbibe in fermented hops and barley from time to time, but she is so much more than just a gal who drinks beer. The Society is pretty focused on being a part of a fully inclusive environment and while they stand behind the ladies only until midnight rule it isn't a hard stop. "You identify as a woman, you like beer. Come on down". SOBDL is not just about beer either. They also are proud supporters of the Canadian Women's Foundation and as Ren puts it "Use their powers for good" by drinking beer and supporting the cause "how could you go wrong with that?" It's added up to a lot of support raising more than $10,000 for the charity since they started. "How is it that the beer industry says that women don't drink beer?" -Ren Navarro Telling us that her "inner artist likes the creation" of beer is just the beginning of the flavour notes that describe Ren. A passionate believer that you can crush stereotypes and try new things she advocates for the "just go on do it approach". Motivated by a curious mind and a love for all things beer and photography related she is filling her days with a long list of different creative pursuits that keep her excited about life. "Life is too short to be like: I just did one thing". "I feel like if I’d done it differently I wouldn’t have ended up here" Ren Navarro You can find Ren on Twitter or Instagram. Follow her, you won't be disappointed. Don’t forget to show some love submit a comment or review! Subscribe to get alerts on new episodes and more or find us on iTunes, Soundcloud, or Stitcher.

When you are introduced to Tesh Randall you are pretty sure that she is just another girl next door type who moved to a beach town, but then again we all know that first impressions are often wrong. Following a known path isn't what Tesh has done and she is quick to tell you that while she knows she might have missed out on some experiences she has no regrets about her unconventional route so far. Starting in childhood being home-schooled, she has certainly used a different map than most to reach success. Self publishing her first book at 19 and pushing on to create unconventional companies as opportunities present themselves Tesh and her partner are not wasting a minute. Leveraging every opportunity that comes their way has served to make her an enthusiastic supporter of other people's projects as much as her own, but admitting that "You can’t force your own enthusiasm and onto someone else", was the first step in realising that not everyone wants to be an entrepreneur.

When you are introduced to Tesh Randall you are pretty sure that she is just another girl next door type who moved to a beach town, but then again we all know that first impressions are often wrong. Following a known path isn't what Tesh has done and she is quick to tell you that while she knows she might have missed out on some experiences she has no regrets about her unconventional route so far. Starting in childhood being home-schooled, she has certainly used a different map than most to reach success. Self publishing her first book at 19 and pushing on to create unconventional companies as opportunities present themselves Tesh and her partner are not wasting a minute. Leveraging every opportunity that comes their way has served to make her an enthusiastic supporter of other people's projects as much as her own, but admitting that "You can’t force your own enthusiasm and onto someone else", was the first step in realising that not everyone wants to be an entrepreneur.

Loni Davis is more than just a professor. This passionate lady decided to return to grad school to complete her Ph.D even though she already had a busy consulting business in organisational design. Despite having all of the academic credentials one might need to be an expert, Loni has remained passionate about staying engaged in her own personal learning journey. She says of her classroom experience that "It feels sometimes like I’m in a live lab because I’m learning. I’m learning so much." It's this desire to be both instructor and student that make her an exciting professor to watch and learn from. "I think a revolution needs to be started, even if it’s a quiet revolution of academics experimenting....I’d like to see myself and others....take more risks" -Loni Davis Ph.D While quick to admit that there is a luxury to moving into professional academics with a successful consulting practice, Loni credits curiosity and a desire to generally face challenges as a member of the working team as the foundation for her professional and personal achievements. Her resume is strong and because of this fact she tells us that "I don’t feel that I have to worry so much about pleasing....And actually I think when I take more risks it makes my teaching better." photo Live experience in the workforce has also taught her the value of theory being dosed with lots of reality in order to overcome difficult situations. "We have to start to get as complex as the problems we are trying to solve" "I think people need to attach their learning to problems...that problems don’t fall neatly into different disciplines...The really interesting problems in our world are multi-disciplinary"-Loni Davis Ph.D Don’t forget to show some love submit a comment or review! Subscribe to get alerts on new episodes and more or find us on iTunes, Soundcloud, or Stitcher.

Loni Davis is more than just a professor. This passionate lady decided to return to grad school to complete her Ph.D even though she already had a busy consulting business in organisational design. Despite having all of the academic credentials one might need to be an expert, Loni has remained passionate about staying engaged in her own personal learning journey. She says of her classroom experience that "It feels sometimes like I’m in a live lab because I’m learning. I’m learning so much." It's this desire to be both instructor and student that make her an exciting professor to watch and learn from. "I think a revolution needs to be started, even if it’s a quiet revolution of academics experimenting....I’d like to see myself and others....take more risks" -Loni Davis Ph.D While quick to admit that there is a luxury to moving into professional academics with a successful consulting practice, Loni credits curiosity and a desire to generally face challenges as a member of the working team as the foundation for her professional and personal achievements. Her resume is strong and because of this fact she tells us that "I don’t feel that I have to worry so much about pleasing....And actually I think when I take more risks it makes my teaching better." photo Live experience in the workforce has also taught her the value of theory being dosed with lots of reality in order to overcome difficult situations. "We have to start to get as complex as the problems we are trying to solve" "I think people need to attach their learning to problems...that problems don’t fall neatly into different disciplines...The really interesting problems in our world are multi-disciplinary"-Loni Davis Ph.D Don’t forget to show some love submit a comment or review! Subscribe to get alerts on new episodes and more or find us on iTunes, Soundcloud, or Stitcher.

When you talk to a guy like Will Dayble you think about his CV. You see a list of successful companies and imagine that the person you are about to chat with is going to be a poster boy for business school approaches. That is decidedly NOT the case. Yes, he (and his partner) have created a few really outstanding companies like The Fitzroy Academy which is revamping education and Squareweave which is doing digital ethically. Both businesses are blossoming under his leadership but it isn't his accomplishments that stand out when you speak with him. Instead, what you hear is a passionate guy with a pragmatic approach to problem solving. Truthfully, he is pretty hard not to like. Will advocates for doing socially responsible business with a profit first mindset. While he admits that "It’s a bit schizophrenic", that hasn't stopped him, and his bottom lines are proving that this is not the wrong answer. "Understanding that maybe there’s better definitions for doing good and making money that can cohabit and are useful together. And by realising that it’s easier to simply do both well than it is to split time between the two and put on a philanthropy hat one day and then a profit hat the other day."-Will Dayble Through his passion for getting shit done, Will has become a very busy guy, but that doesn't stop him from enjoying himself. Neither do regrets. "It’s inefficient to care about what might have happened". His focus on improving the planet and making the world better for tomorrow clearly fills his day, but when asked to reflect on advice for young entrepreneurs his philosophy of logic and reason come through clearly. "The first and best bit of advice would be to not take my advice"-Will Dayble It's clear that Will has mastered the power of the yes and no answer, but even that can teach us all a lesson about taking risks. No person can cut and paste a path to success, so maybe it's time to accept the idea of being a unicorn and make our own maps. Don’t forget to show some love! Submit a comment or review! Subscribe to get alerts on new episodes and more or find us on iTunes, Soundcloud, or Stitcher.

When you talk to a guy like Will Dayble you think about his CV. You see a list of successful companies and imagine that the person you are about to chat with is going to be a poster boy for business school approaches. That is decidedly NOT the case. Yes, he (and his partner) have created a few really outstanding companies like The Fitzroy Academy which is revamping education and Squareweave which is doing digital ethically. Both businesses are blossoming under his leadership but it isn't his accomplishments that stand out when you speak with him. Instead, what you hear is a passionate guy with a pragmatic approach to problem solving. Truthfully, he is pretty hard not to like. Will advocates for doing socially responsible business with a profit first mindset. While he admits that "It’s a bit schizophrenic", that hasn't stopped him, and his bottom lines are proving that this is not the wrong answer. "Understanding that maybe there’s better definitions for doing good and making money that can cohabit and are useful together. And by realising that it’s easier to simply do both well than it is to split time between the two and put on a philanthropy hat one day and then a profit hat the other day."-Will Dayble Through his passion for getting shit done, Will has become a very busy guy, but that doesn't stop him from enjoying himself. Neither do regrets. "It’s inefficient to care about what might have happened". His focus on improving the planet and making the world better for tomorrow clearly fills his day, but when asked to reflect on advice for young entrepreneurs his philosophy of logic and reason come through clearly. "The first and best bit of advice would be to not take my advice"-Will Dayble It's clear that Will has mastered the power of the yes and no answer, but even that can teach us all a lesson about taking risks. No person can cut and paste a path to success, so maybe it's time to accept the idea of being a unicorn and make our own maps. Don’t forget to show some love! Submit a comment or review! Subscribe to get alerts on new episodes and more or find us on iTunes, Soundcloud, or Stitcher.

When you trip across a talented lady like Kathryn Burnett you think of all of the things that she has done. After spending more than a decade in writing for television, Kathryn has produced and written plays, designed and facilitated workshops and much more. As an individual her writing and production credits are impressive, but when you add that to the list of people she has helped create something of their own, you discover a talent that goes beyond the page. When asked about how sharing opportunities might limit the chances she has to be successful in such a competitive industry she tells us that "the biggest competitor I have is myself". This universal truth in the creative landscape comes through even more clearly when she discusses how there are always going to be more writers than occasions for getting the work seen. It's this idea that motivates her to keep working on projects new and old as it is critical "to have more than one project in the drawer" as this will help to be prepared when the opportunities arise. "Get to the page and do the damn work."-Kathryn Burnett Kathryn is inspired by people all around her. Both by friends and peers have been able to cheer her on in hard times and helped to maintain her momentum when things get good. I started getting support from people I really valued and that strengthened me. It was this support that taught her to begin to live a lifestyle of generosity and find inspiration and collaboration from the community around her. "People that have vision are intoxicating"-Kathryn Burnett Kathryn is an inspiring part of the New Zealand creative community and we are sure to see exciting things coming from her in the near future. Don't forget to find her on her website or over on Twitter in order to stay in the loop with her newest projects.

When you trip across a talented lady like Kathryn Burnett you think of all of the things that she has done. After spending more than a decade in writing for television, Kathryn has produced and written plays, designed and facilitated workshops and much more. As an individual her writing and production credits are impressive, but when you add that to the list of people she has helped create something of their own, you discover a talent that goes beyond the page. When asked about how sharing opportunities might limit the chances she has to be successful in such a competitive industry she tells us that "the biggest competitor I have is myself". This universal truth in the creative landscape comes through even more clearly when she discusses how there are always going to be more writers than occasions for getting the work seen. It's this idea that motivates her to keep working on projects new and old as it is critical "to have more than one project in the drawer" as this will help to be prepared when the opportunities arise. "Get to the page and do the damn work."-Kathryn Burnett Kathryn is inspired by people all around her. Both by friends and peers have been able to cheer her on in hard times and helped to maintain her momentum when things get good. I started getting support from people I really valued and that strengthened me. It was this support that taught her to begin to live a lifestyle of generosity and find inspiration and collaboration from the community around her. "People that have vision are intoxicating"-Kathryn Burnett Kathryn is an inspiring part of the New Zealand creative community and we are sure to see exciting things coming from her in the near future. Don't forget to find her on her website or over on Twitter in order to stay in the loop with her newest projects.

On what appears to be a life journey towards having tried her hand at everything, Deb Maybury proudly considers herself a Jack of all Trades. When asked how sometimes seemingly disconnected topics keep pushing her down new paths, she says "I’m following my skill sets, my interests, and what I love to do." When asked how she fits it all into her busy schedule, Deb tells us that priorities are critical to her success, and that sometimes something has to go in order for something new to come in. "It’s more about what I choose not to do I think." She talks candidly about how all of her passions are fuelled by her desire to never stop learning and tells us that "In order to be the best in anything you have to practice. And practice, and practice."? No matter what though, we have to love what we do in order to discover mastery. "If you love it, it’s not work." Deb's desire to live a life "always being curious" has led her down a number of paths from taking on every sport she can, facilitating complex topics, writing two books, and completing her first studio album coming out in March. Her values and actions are in direct relation when you ask her about the importance of community and what it means to her to give back to the wold she lives in. “As a facilitator my job is to listen, first and foremost but also to point out how inspired I am by that person.”-Deb Maybury When asked about how her values might change another person's world she is quick to say that she does the best with what she has, but that we need to think about the impact we might have on others. “You never know how what you say is going to impact somebody else. Wouldn’t you rather inspire somebody?”-Deb Maybury Clearly Deb does not believe in limits and has spent her live breaking ground in everything from women's sport to the arts and from the looks of it she is just getting warmed up.

On what appears to be a life journey towards having tried her hand at everything, Deb Maybury proudly considers herself a Jack of all Trades. When asked how sometimes seemingly disconnected topics keep pushing her down new paths, she says "I’m following my skill sets, my interests, and what I love to do." When asked how she fits it all into her busy schedule, Deb tells us that priorities are critical to her success, and that sometimes something has to go in order for something new to come in. "It’s more about what I choose not to do I think." She talks candidly about how all of her passions are fuelled by her desire to never stop learning and tells us that "In order to be the best in anything you have to practice. And practice, and practice." No matter what though, we have to love what we do in order to discover mastery. "If you love it, it’s not work." Deb's desire to live a life "always being curious" has led her down a number of paths from taking on every sport she can, facilitating complex topics, writing two books, and completing her first studio album coming out in March. Her values and actions are in direct relation when you ask her about the importance of community and what it means to her to give back to the wold she lives in. “As a facilitator my job is to listen, first and foremost but also to point out how inspired I am by that person.”-Deb Maybury When asked about how her values might change another person's world she is quick to say that she does the best with what she has, but that we need to think about the impact we might have on others. “You never know how what you say is going to impact somebody else. Wouldn’t you rather inspire somebody?”-Deb Maybury Clearly Deb does not believe in limits and has spent her live breaking ground in everything from women's sport to the arts and from the looks of it she is just getting warmed up.

Joining today from Brunei is Kristin Bond an English as a second language teacher born in Canada and on her fourth country in less than a decade. Telling us that about her own evolution cannot be unwound from the countries that she has lived in or the friends she has made is just the start of her story. She quickly admits that "I am a much better person having moved abroad" because of the experiences and people that she has been exposed to who would have never crossed her path in her hometown of Nelson, Canada. Kristin explains that each country has had "unique challenges" to her Canadian roots, but that with the help of other global expats she has found her tribe. "You are all there for an adventure" she says when explaining why these people become friends and chosen family to her, "you find your people so fast". While acknowledging that it isn't always easy to be far from home Kristin tells us that the challenges of culture and language can be rewarding with the right attitude. As much as it can be frustrating in my day to deal with some of the cultural issues, I kinda like it....Wherever you go there's so many opportunities-Kristin Bond Making friends in a new place isn't easy, but she now has collected a network of friends across the world because of her experiences and has no regrets that she hasn't settled down yet. I acquire experiences and knowledge, that's what life is about-Kristin Bond Clearly she doesn't feel bad about not getting that dream house full of stuff and lives life in a simple way that means it will only take a few suitcases to pack on her way to her next adventure.

Joining today from Brunei is Kristin Bond an English as a second language teacher born in Canada and on her fourth country in less than a decade. Telling us that about her own evolution cannot be unwound from the countries that she has lived in or the friends she has made is just the start of her story. She quickly admits that "I am a much better person having moved abroad" because of the experiences and people that she has been exposed to who would have never crossed her path in her hometown of Nelson, Canada. Kristin explains that each country has had "unique challenges" to her Canadian roots, but that with the help of other global expats she has found her tribe. "You are all there for an adventure" she says when explaining why these people become friends and chosen family to her, "you find your people so fast". While acknowledging that it isn't always easy to be far from home Kristin tells us that the challenges of culture and language can be rewarding with the right attitude. As much as it can be frustrating in my day to deal with some of the cultural issues, I kinda like it....Wherever you go there's so many opportunities-Kristin Bond Making friends in a new place isn't easy, but she now has collected a network of friends across the world because of her experiences and has no regrets that she hasn't settled down yet. I acquire experiences and knowledge, that's what life is about-Kristin Bond Clearly she doesn't feel bad about not getting that dream house full of stuff and lives life in a simple way that means it will only take a few suitcases to pack on her way to her next adventure.

Being armed with the right skills is critical to face conflict without creating even more hurt feelings. Lane Sherman is an expert mediator and author who has focused his career on making functioning teams and fixing broken ones. His first book, The Keys to Collaboration released in 2015 and was the result of more than 20 years of industry experience. Despite this passion for heated situations, Lane remains calm in the most turbulent of environments. In this episode he discusses how elements as simple as communication and honestly can build trust and esteem among colleagues and team mates. Lane Laughing He also dives into what is causing conflicts among the most driven of us and talks about how structure can serve to take some of the sting out of a bad situation. The insights for those type A's among us come when he dives into the subject of the right way to get something done. ...most of the type A people that I come into contact with believe absolutely that they are right. That the way that they are suggesting or the way that they believe the team should go is the correct way to do it. And there is no other right way. That is the right way. And so often the breakthrough for those people comes when they begin to realise that there is no single right way... Working with teams and groups requires us to focus our attention to the final outputs and how we hope to create things across different resource sets. Most importantly for us as individuals is the ability to spend time reflecting on our own actions and how we respond to those around us. It requires our actions to be looked back on with a critical eye as "more often than not the bully did not see themselves as a bully". While we all want to be the hero in our own story, we need to be cognisant of who we are in the drama triangle. We can't all be the hero or the victim or there would be nobody left to be the villain. Regardless of the scenario, Lane tells us that most conflicts can be resolved if we put our hurt feelings away for a time and focus instead on being curious about how other people are facing issues. Investing the time in understanding another person's perspective will only serve to increase trust and offer a chance for them to become more open to the best ways to resolve issues and move forward.

Being armed with the right skills is critical to face conflict without creating even more hurt feelings. Lane Sherman is an expert mediator and author who has focused his career on making functioning teams and fixing broken ones. His first book, The Keys to Collaboration released in 2015 and was the result of more than 20 years of industry experience. Despite this passion for heated situations, Lane remains calm in the most turbulent of environments. In this episode he discusses how elements as simple as communication and honestly can build trust and esteem among colleagues and team mates. Lane Laughing He also dives into what is causing conflicts among the most driven of us and talks about how structure can serve to take some of the sting out of a bad situation. The insights for those type A's among us come when he dives into the subject of the right way to get something done. ...most of the type A people that I come into contact with believe absolutely that they are right. That the way that they are suggesting or the way that they believe the team should go is the correct way to do it. And there is no other right way. That is the right way. And so often the breakthrough for those people comes when they begin to realise that there is no single right way... Working with teams and groups requires us to focus our attention to the final outputs and how we hope to create things across different resource sets. Most importantly for us as individuals is the ability to spend time reflecting on our own actions and how we respond to those around us. It requires our actions to be looked back on with a critical eye as "more often than not the bully did not see themselves as a bully". While we all want to be the hero in our own story, we need to be cognisant of who we are in the drama triangle. We can't all be the hero or the victim or there would be nobody left to be the villain. Regardless of the scenario, Lane tells us that most conflicts can be resolved if we put our hurt feelings away for a time and focus instead on being curious about how other people are facing issues. Investing the time in understanding another person's perspective will only serve to increase trust and offer a chance for them to become more open to the best ways to resolve issues and move forward.