DevOUT with Wendi Renay

The kindest way someone will ever try to control you doesn't sound like control at all. It sounds like love. It sounds like worry. It sounds like someone who just wants what's best for you. A few years ago, someone I loved sent me a letter trying to talk me out of a decision I'd already made. It was warm. It was heartfelt. And it took me years to understand what it was actually doing. In this video I walk through that letter line by line — not to relive it, but because the pattern inside it is everywhere. In families. In relationships. In friendships. In whole communities. Once you can see the structure, it loses its grip on you. You'll learn to recognize: how control disguises itself as protection why urgency is almost always a red flag the "boundary" trick people use to take away your right to say no how someone can turn your own children, or the people you love most, into the reason you can't leave why disagreement gets reframed as proof that something's wrong with youAnd the three words that quietly run underneath almost all of it: fear, obligation, and guilt. If you've ever gotten a version of this from anyone I hope this helps you name it. And I hope it reminds you that the life waiting on the other side is quieter, and better, than they told you it would be. You're allowed to keep the love you deserved and refuse the control you didn't. Those were always two different things. —If this resonated, I write more like this over on my newsletter on Substack —If you or someone you know is trying to make sense of a controlling relationship, take your time, trust yourself, and reach out to people who let you make your own decisions. You're not too far gone, and you're not alone.

What does it mean to live in the eventual? www.wendirenay.com For those of us who survived high control religion, narcissistic abuse, or any environment that required us to defer our own lives, eventually becomes more than a word. It becomes a way of existing. We stay in situations that are almost right. We pursue dreams that live permanently just out of reach. We reset every morning and call it grace. We wait for the fuller version of our lives to arrive while the present one keeps moving without us. In this episode, Wendi Renay unpacks the invisible blueprint that controlling environments install in us long before we have the language to question it. From the theology of paradise earth that taught Jehovah's Witnesses to treat this life as temporary, to the daily reset that narcissistic abuse trains us to perform, to the quiet way we talk ourselves out of bigger opportunities before we even finish reading the description, this is a conversation about a pattern that most of us are living inside without realizing it. This episode is for anyone who has ever stood right at the edge of their own life and found a reason to stay where they were. Not just for religious abuse survivors. For anyone who recognizes the feeling of almost. If something in this lands for you, you are not alone. And the life you keep deferring is already here.

If you take on other people’s moods, assume everything is your fault, or feel drained after simple interactions, this episode is for you. Wendi breaks down the difference between absorbing emotions and reflecting them, and why learning this skill can completely change your peace, your relationships, and your sense of self. You’ll hear a grounded, honest look at why we internalize other people’s feelings—and how to stay centered without shutting down your empathy. Work with Wendi: 1:1 mentoring → https://calendly.com/wendirenay/30min

For 1:1 mentorship click here In this episode, Wendi Renay challenges the conventional belief that confidence must precede action. She emphasizes that confidence is a result of taking action, not a prerequisite. Wendi discusses how waiting for the right moment or feeling ready can hinder personal growth. Instead, she advocates for making micro-decisions and taking risks to build self-trust and confidence. By acting despite fear and uncertainty, individuals can unlock their potential and create the life they desire.

For 1:1 mentorship, click here! In this episode, we talk honestly about why you miss them, why you start romanticizing the past, and why distance makes everything look clearer than it really was — like dirt settling at the bottom of a water glass. We also talk about the urge to check their socials, how it slows healing, and why stepping back from social media is one of the quickest ways to rebuild yourself. You’ll walk away with practical tools you can use today to help you move through the loss, pick up the pieces, and reconnect with yourself. Missing someone doesn’t mean you should go back — it means you’re human. And you’re healing, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet. letting go, healing, self-acceptance, emotional growth, personal development

Schedule 1:1 Convo In this conversation, Wendi Renay delves into the world of empaths, exploring their unique ability to sense emotional cues and navigate complex emotional landscapes. She discusses how empaths often take on the role of fixers and stabilizers in their environments, highlighting the challenges they face due to their heightened sensitivity. empaths, emotional intelligence, sensitivity, emotional cues, conflict resolution

For 1:1 mentorship, click here In this conversation, Wendi Renay explores the concept of overthinking, reframing it as a protective mechanism rather than a flaw. She discusses how overthinking often stems from heightened awareness and past trauma, leading individuals to anticipate emotional outcomes to avoid pain. Wendi emphasizes the importance of understanding the roots of overthinking and finding ways to create safety within oneself to mitigate its effects. The conversation encourages listeners to embrace their intelligence and self-awareness while learning to trust themselves instead of being trapped in a cycle of overthinking.

Schedule 1:1 Convo In this conversation, Wendi Renay explores her journey of confronting trauma and understanding the complexities of her nervous system. She reflects on her experiences in a high-control environment and how it shaped her perception of self-regulation and emotional well-being. Wendi emphasizes the importance of recognizing that feelings of inadequacy stem from dysregulation rather than personal failure, leading to a deeper understanding of healing and personal growth.

If you want deeper support, I’m available for Private 1:1 mentoring We’ll work through your patterns, your communication habits, your confidence, and the inner skills that help you build a calmer, stronger, more self-respecting version of your life. Most people think they have a communication problem. What they really have is a nervous system problem disguised as communication. In this episode, we’re breaking down the difference between reacting and responding — and why learning this skill changes everything. If you’ve ever shut down, snapped, overexplained, or spiraled in moments that mattered, this episode will teach you how to stay grounded, soft, clear, and self-respecting even when your emotions are loud. You’ll learn: • why your nervous system reacts before your mind does • the four reactive styles and how to recognize yours • how to pause, regulate, and choose a tone you actually feel proud of • feminine communication that doesn’t abandon your boundaries • real scripts you can use today This is the emotional self-control you were never taught — explained simply, gently, and powerfully.

For a 1:1 conversation with me, click here for fresh eyes on your story What if the beliefs you were raised with are the very things keeping you from peace? In this episode, Wendi Renay opens up about the panic, clarity, and deep inner shift that come with unlearning old identities—about marriage, divorce, high-control religion, and how the world really works. Through story and psychology, Wendi explores the nervous system, executive function, and the quiet joy that comes when you finally return to yourself.

If you’ve been feeling scattered, foggy, or just “off” — this episode is for you. Wendi Renay breaks down what mental overload really is, how the brain quietly hits capacity, and seven subtle signs you might be running on empty without realizing it. Learn what’s actually happening in your nervous system, how to reclaim clarity, and why stillness—not productivity—is the reset your mind has been asking for. For 1:1 Mentorship Click Here

If you’ve ever felt like “healing” became your full-time job, this one’s for you. Wendi Renay unpacks the myth of constant healing — why self-work can quietly turn into self-pressure, what the brain actually needs to rest and integrate, and how to build peace without making it another project. A calm, compassionate reminder that you don’t have to earn your healing — you just have to live it.

For personalized 1:1 mentoring & support: CLICK HERE If calm feels foreign, or rest feels wrong, this episode is for you. Wendi Renay unpacks what survival mode really feels like — the hidden ways your mind and body stay stuck in protection, even when the danger’s over. Through gentle insight and psychology, you’ll learn five signs you’re still surviving instead of living — and how to start teaching your body that peace is allowed.

I'm back with The Still Mind — a podcast for overthinkers, deep feelers, and quiet rebuilders. In this first episode, I reflect on stepping away from social media, rediscovering peace, and what happens when life finally goes quiet. Through psychology, story, and heart, lets unpack the truth about calm: it’s not found in silence — it’s built there.

After a year-long disappearance from social media and the podcast, I’m back—and not because I’ve figured it all out, but because I finally started living from a place of truth. In this first episode of Life After Devout, I share where I’ve been, what changed, and how I quietly rebuilt a life I love. From regular therapy to spontaneous walks in borrowed shoes, from falling in love with kickboxing to crossing the finish line of a Spartan Race—this is the real story of coming home to myself. This isn’t about who I used to be. It’s about the life I’m creating now—and inviting you into. If you’ve ever needed a soft return, a quiet comeback, or a reminder that joy can be rebuilt, this episode is for you. If you’re in this with me—let’s talk about and live life after devout. –––––––––– Mentioned in this episode: • How logging off gave me clarity• Why I turned to movement as medicine• Rebuilding identity outside performance• Creating rhythms of strength, rest, and joy• What this show will look like moving forward If you’re new here, welcome. If you’ve been here since the beginning—thank you. I didn’t walk away from you. I just turned inward for a while. And now, I’m ready to share what I’ve found. Let’s begin again. Have thoughts about the episode? I’d love to hear them. Leave a comment or send a message—and if this resonated, share it with someone who’s ready for their own quiet comeback. FIND ME HERE

In this deeply insightful conversation, licensed clinical social worker Joel Pieper breaks down the different types of trauma—beyond the obvious and into the subtle, often overlooked patterns that shape our lives. We explore: The difference between Big T and little t trauma How trauma shows up in your body, relationships, and behavior Why unresolved trauma often appears as anxiety, overthinking, emotional shutdown, or people-pleasing The critical role of nervous system regulation in sustainable healing Holistic, compassionate approaches to trauma recovery you can begin today Whether you’re new to this conversation or have been walking your healing path for a while, Joel offers clarity, language, and actionable tools that help you reconnect to your body, your story, and your power. Want to share your thoughts or feedback? We’d love to hear what resonated most with you. Leave a comment, send us a message, or leave a rating. Your voice helps us keep creating meaningful content that meets you where you are. Connect with Joel Pieper: Email: ⁠counselingjoel@gmail.com⁠ Explore More: Looking for tools to support your own comeback? Download the Quiet Comeback Kit or check out our self-guided eBooks on resilience, feminine revival, and healing from burnout at ⁠Wendi's Library.⁠ Follow, share, and subscribe if this conversation moved you. It helps others find their way back to themselves too.

This year, I want us to explore the stories of those who have faced tough challenges, particularly those who’ve come out of cult environments. I believe these conversations are vital in helping others find hope and connection in their own lives. Each episode will feature guests who’ve navigated their journeys and learned powerful lessons along the way. I’ll also share my own insights from my time away—what I learned about myself, the importance of stepping back, and how we can all cultivate a sense of peace amid chaos. This podcast isn’t just about surviving; it’s about thriving and discovering that, ultimately, everything works out in the end. So whether you’ve faced similar challenges or just want to hear some inspiring stories, there’s something here for everyone.

Hello there! It's good to be back, I am excited about this new series. Are you ready for some stories about growth? Health and wellness? Healthy mindsets? Unraveled indoctrination? LET'S DO IT!! --------------------------------------------------------------- For Candace's first interview: https://youtu.be/rE_mP0aTEyY Born and raised in Brooklyn NYC to a former JW mom turned reinstated and non-JW dad, Candice grew up around the organization and was mentally in for most of her life, baptized at 26 years old, and woke up at 34 years old due to in her words the governing body "not staying in their lane" referring to their over-reach of encouraging certain personal decisions upon the congregants, rather than just sticking to "spiritual food". Candice's self-care journey helped her break free from the indoctrination and she shares her story to help others do the same. ------------------- To contact Candice: Instagram @candi_cee_

To contact Dr. Ryan: www.drryanlee.com "I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness from birth until the age of 18, when I realized that there was more to the world than I had been taught. The following years, while exciting in some respects, were also challenging as I set out to rebuild my identity, world view and community from the ground up. I found my own time in therapy to be immensely helpful in this endeavor, however therapists I worked with had little familiarity with the depth to which this kind of religious conditioning penetrates the mind and soul. I often wished for someone who not only understood, but was equipped to help rewrite that unique brand of programming. After earning my doctorate in clinical psychology and accumulating over ten years' experience as a therapist, I am so happy to be able to make good use of my religious background in the service of supporting others who have made the courageous decision to listen to their heart and seek independence. I feel so blessed to have found an occupation that I feel so passionately about. My enthusiasm is based both in a love for the work itself and the joy of seeing the positive, life changing results this process has on those who engage with it. I am currently living in/working from Peru with my two whippets (who hold a very special place in my heart), and have an active interest in plant medicine (primarily ayahuasca), meditation, reading and creating stained glass art. #exjwsthink #jehovahswitnesses #psychology #cults #therapy #narcissism #exjw To contact Ryan: www.drryanlee.com

Anthony is a former deacon and a 10.5 year member of the World Mission Society Church of God, a cult group that believes Jesus’ second coming already happened (and this Jesus died in 1985) and worships an elderly lady in Korea as “God the Mother.” Through the pandemic, personal research, and family support, Anthony was able to escape the mind control this group had over him as well as the arranged marriage they coerced him into. MORE INFO ABOUT WORLD MISSION SOCIETY OF GOD: https://open.spotify.com/show/28S9Lh2CvCtRJ8ByAXxUP1?si=DlXRt1r8TEepXdfTfhYCSghttps://youtube.com/@UCfi2w6gJGj1jHdEk-e_b7pA https://youtube.com/@UCQ03ecl0cI962vrOWOuN6dg https://www.examiningthewmscog.com/