Don't Read The Comments

Tangents ‘R’ Us. This week, Lizzie’s out living it up in New York, New York! So naturally, Jackie’s baby brother Alex crashes the party to talk about literally basically everything that came to our brains in this instance. Topics include: moving, embarrassing childhood shit, the Kardashians, Justin Bieber, Kanye’s mom, Speidi, cisgender males, plastic surgery, wisdom teeth, and the qualities in men that are most important to us. Welcome to our SEO party.

It's not as bad as you think. But porn star James Dean isn't such a good guy after all, and rape porn might not be exactly what you think. Also, the holiday we hold near and dear that is Black Friday is nothing but a complete and total sham, and maybe save the (w)raps for the pros. Happy holiday gift hunting!

It's the time of year to gather around the people, food, and drinks you like, and show gratitude for the good things in your life. This year, we're thankful for birth control, deleting your ex from your life forever, and YOU!

Charlie “#WINNING” Sheen revealed he's HIV positive, which got us talkin' about hookin': should prostitution be legalized? UNRELATED: Jackie announces her BIG news! Hear all about her journey to becoming a business woman (S/O Hearthstone), including a mandatory wardrobe update which would be great except for the fact that SHOPPING SUCKS and we all hate it. But you know what we don’t hate? Master of None. It’s great and you should binge watch it, too. Plus: your listener questions about ghosting, watching porn with your lover, and when it’s time to wash your pants.

HAPPY FALLOUT 4 DAY! Join us to talk about FALLOUT DUH, plus some random-ass weird stuff including our favorite sweet/weed candies, baby beastiality (don’t knock it ’til you try it, huh?), and the infamous “Stoned Fast-Food Trifecta.” Also look out for Lizzie “Zuevazz” Cuevas’ music video debut on November 25th! #TeensInTrouble

Everything you know about Instagram is FAKE! Sorta, but just don't believe everything you see, alright? In this episode, we're discussing the bullshit that is daylight saving time and taking your questions on how to make friends, what we won't dare to say, and also recap Jackie's unfortunate toilet situation. Hint: it's real shitty.

Trick or treat! All Hallow's Eve is fast approaching, so get ready to hear some real-life, real scary stories! Plus, Tara gushes over her obsession with American Horror Story, remember some our best and worst costumes of Halloweens past, and wrap up with a few rounds of Fuck/Marry/Kill! DISCLAIMER: the Halloween spirit is undeniable this time of year, and unfortunately some actual goblins and ghouls infested our technical equipment this week.

Have you heard about all the hot sexy studies lately?! We’re talking tips on joining the “Mile High Club,” explain how Facebook is the WORST, and also what happens to your Facebook when you die?! Also, how booze affects your pregnant belly, and why you get so sad after sexy times. I mean, we’re like, really smart, so it would probably be in your best interest to listen to this one.

It’s officially October so we’re getting HYPE for HALLOWEEN! Get in the spirit with us in this horrific discussion about our favorite frightening films. And speaking of October, S/O to Lizzie and her SO on their anniversary! Which got us thinking, what the heck are you supposed to get your bae for such momentous occasions? Special man-guest Chris Antista joins in to help us help you be better at relationships.

It’s officially October so we’re getting HYPE for HALLOWEEN! Get in the spirit with us in this horrific discussion about our favorite frightening films. And speaking of October, S/O to Lizzie and her SO on their anniversary! Which got us thinking, what the heck are you supposed to get your bae for such momentous occasions? Special man-guest Chris Antista joins in to help us help you be better at relationships.

A recent happenstance during Tara’s honeymoon sparks possibly the grossest conversation we’ve ever had. But hey, everyone poops, right? So we’re getting down and dirty with the reality of human biology talking about farts, poops, queefs and more. Enjoy!

A recent happenstance during Tara’s honeymoon sparks possibly the grossest conversation we’ve ever had. But hey, everyone poops, right? So we’re getting down and dirty with the reality of human biology talking about farts, poops, queefs and more. Enjoy!

Fall is coming, so you know what that means for us ladies~ it's time to get in our nighties, paint each other's nails and scare ourselves silly with horror stories. In today's episode, we're paying homage to Wes Craven by remembering our favorite horror movies and TV shows, after setting the mood with the scariest story of all: the tale of "Cunty Clerk" Kim Davis.

Fall is coming, so you know what that means for us ladies~ it's time to get in our nighties, paint each other's nails and scare ourselves silly with horror stories. In today's episode, we're paying homage to Wes Craven by remembering our favorite horror movies and TV shows, after setting the mood with the scariest story of all: the tale of "Cunty Clerk" Kim Davis.

This may come as a surprise to you, but sometimes a woman just wants to pseudo-impregnate herself with some big ol' sloppy alien eggs. Thankfully, the Ovipositor is here to fulfill all of our most primal desires. Speaking of women, do girls really play less video games than guys? Get ready to learn a thing or two about a thing or two because we're gonna lay down some facts up in this bitch.

This may come as a surprise to you, but sometimes a woman just wants to pseudo-impregnate herself with some big ol' sloppy alien eggs. Thankfully, the Ovipositor is here to fulfill all of our most primal desires. Speaking of women, do girls really play less video games than guys? Get ready to learn a thing or two about a thing or two because we're gonna lay down some facts up in this bitch.

Sure, you've heard of freerunning. Even free fallin'. But it's 2015 when "free bleeding" is all the rage. Drummer Kiran Gandhi has made it her goal to remove the stigma of the crimson wave by RUNNING A MARATHON WHILE FREELY BLEEDING ON HER PERIOD. Periods are here, and they're here to stay. So get used to it, MEN. And hey, speaking of men, what ever happened to meeting people the old fashioned way, huh? Between Tinder, Hinge, Grindr, Blendr, Flintr, Screwd, or whatever other tool-dubbed dating apps there are, how's one ever going to make a real connection these days?

Sure, you've heard of freerunning. Even free fallin'. But it's 2015 when "free bleeding" is all the rage. Drummer Kiran Gandhi has made it her goal to remove the stigma of the crimson wave by RUNNING A MARATHON WHILE FREELY BLEEDING ON HER PERIOD. Periods are here, and they're here to stay. So get used to it, MEN. And hey, speaking of men, what ever happened to meeting people the old fashioned way, huh? Between Tinder, Hinge, Grindr, Blendr, Flintr, Screwd, or whatever other tool-dubbed dating apps there are, how's one ever going to make a real connection these days?

Dreams, man. They're crazy things. And that's exactly why women love to tell you about them so much. Women also love to tell you about their day in immaculate detail, so we're going to talk about our morning routines! There's no better way to start your day than with a cup of herbal tea, some enlightening meditation, and a gander at The Times. But we wouldn't know shit about that.

Welcome to Don't Read the Comments! Each week Tara Long, Jackie Talbott and Lizzie Cuevas will join forces to talk about shit that women, AKA us, care about. And men, too. Discrimination is illegal in this podcast. In our premiere episode, we take your listener submitted questions and give 100% serious, from our heart of hearts advice. But not before we raunch it up a bit and gush over Magic Mike XXL and discuss the thing that everyone's been talking about: the Ashley Madison hack.