Far From Finished Podcast

During active addiction, Jordan did things that he wasn’t proud of in order to survive. He lost pieces of himself along the way, until he eventually got fed up. He was tired of the way that nothing in his life seemed worthwhile and wanted to feel the way he did back when he attended his first AA meeting. Going into treatment, Jordan felt powerless but soon became enthralled in meetings, making connections, and sharing secrets. Today Jordan is confident, and the future looks promising to him. He is okay with being alone and not needing a partner – something he never could have imagined in the past. He describes how he is able to watch all his dreams come true, and has a taste of freedom for the first time in his life. The post Jordan (Part 2) appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

When Jordan looks back on life before addiction, he realizes there was not one huge event that led him into addiction. He was just a kid longing for a stable household while living out of bags and blankets. He had too much freedom and did whatever his friends did in order to feel accepted. On a daily basis, Jordan could be found carrying out his so called ‘rituals’ – rolling up weed, cutting up cocaine, and mixing whiskey. It was completely normal to him. However, this behavior turned destructive when he began robbing houses, getting into car wrecks, and making decisions that hurt his family. In the midst of it all, Jordan knew he had a problem. He describes the first meeting he went to, breaking down in tears while telling strangers how often he drank. Despite this breakthrough he continued down that path for years, describing himself like a pinball – so asleep and unconscious to what he was doing. The post Jordan (Part 1) appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

Mason always told himself that he would never be a heroin addict. When he turned 18 he was kicked out of his house for cutting his hair because his parents didn’t approve of him being transgender. Moving in with his girlfriend, the two started doing Xanax together. About two weeks in, Mason was in a Xanax blackout and woke up smoking heroin. Forced into treatment, Mason’s only motivation to go was knowing that if he didn’t his car and other possessions would be taken from him.  Mason knew that he was going to relapse after getting out of rehab because his mindset wasn’t focused on going through treatment for himself but rather for his car, his parents and his girlfriend. Mason wanted to get high. He wanted to have fun. Getting heavily involved with meth pushed Mason over the edge. It made him a terrible person.  He was concerned more about dope than his own livelihood. It was that realization that made him want to get sober. Today Mason writes and journals to help stay clean.  He’s gained friends who are better than what he had before. Most importantly he’s gained his family back. He’s achieved a level of peace that wasn’t present before. The post Mason appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

Growing up Max wanted to be accepted by other people. He finally felt that rush of being popular when he brought marijuana to school for the first time. Sometime after, attending his first AA meeting at the age of 17, Max wished he could’ve acknowledged earlier on that he had an issue with substance abuse. Max has been in and out of the program several times since then and, while he could string a bit of time together sober, he was never really willing to do the work. It would be a series of events of loss and grief that would help him fully embrace treatment.  Max reached a point where he just knew that he was done. When he walked into treatment he knew he was in the right place because his very first class was about grief and loss. Throughout his time in treatment, Max focused on dealing with the emotions that he avoided dealing with in the past. He freed himself emotionally to cry things out, to just be open, and consequently he was able to learn how to vocalize how he was feeling. Once he did that all those negative feelings started to subside. New to his journey, Max’s sobriety has been tested with new painful events but he’s thankful to have a good strong network to be able to work through the obstacles that come his way. He knows that he can make it no matter what as long as he stays connected. The post Max appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

Drinking alcohol was a way for Michelle to suppress her emotions of grief, abandonment, disappointment and heartache. She noticed that when she was able to go out everything was associated with alcohol whether it was a yoga party or happy hour. Struggling with postpartum depression, there wasn’t enough time for Michelle to figure anything out. She would often wait until her children would sleep until she would drink to pass out. Her alcoholism ultimately put her in a hospital with child protective services looking over her. She knew she had a problem and she had to work on being there for the people she loved. Experiencing treatment, Michelle (now in recovery) can look back and see all the warning signs. She got so caught up in the shame. Today she follows a quote from AA — “Just for a day. I’m going to distract myself. I’m going to give myself the best shot. Today I’m going to do it for today.” She knows that if she keeps that mindset the urge will go when it comes. Today she has found herself and loves to do what’s fun. Michelle has explored and educated herself by reading books and searching for ways that can help fuel her mind. She can do every single thing that she used to do but now she can remember what she did and have the best time. She lives her life of sobriety but seeking her truth and understanding that no one is ever safe from this disease. She knows that the person with the most sobriety time is the person who woke up first. The post Michelle appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

Life growing up was difficult for Ilan. He learned a tremendous amount but today it’s easy for him to look back and see how that life led him to addiction. Ilan needed ways to cope because he needed something. Addictions to food and love were how he coped. If he was upset he would have a cookie. If he was angry he would have a piece of pie. craved relationships, because he was a love addict who would be happy if he was with someone and be miserable if he was without them. At a certain point in his life Ilan went back and forth between love addiction, pornography, and overeating. Amidst his multiple addictions Ilan had begun work towards becoming a rabbi, entering a rabbinic program. Ilan can recall watching videos on addiction as the school that he attended required a unit of clinical pastoral education (CPE). Light bulbs started to go off in his head and he  realized that he wasn’t so different from those who were facing a different addiction. A week-long retreat at a healing center helped to change him completely. He finally understood that he didn’t have to live the way he was living and that if he was willing to do the work, things could get better. Ilan went to a ton of recovery meetings and re-engaged in his own personal growth movement by going to seminars which expanded his own sense of self.  There have been many struggles in Ilan’s life in addiction that have affected both his public and private lives but today he has seen tremendous growth from the steps he has taken in his recovery. Newly married he acknowledges how much of a difference his wife has had on his life. He sees today as a time to give back and start sharing a sense of hope with others because he’s found a sense of inner peace that has allowed him to connect with other people. Podcast may contain mature language and situations.  The post Ilan appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

When Dustin looks back at his addiction he remembers judging a lot people for a lot of the ways they lived their lives. When he became rebellious, he rebelled against a lot of the things he didn’t like about society. He was angry, hated the world, and he turned it onto himself, becoming very isolated and scared. A lot of times he relied on drugs to help convince him that things were okay. Each drug provided its own new insight for him. Dustin hit rock bottom after he relapsed post treatment. He had a moment to reflect and knew he had to surrender and give recovery a try, finally realizing that he may not ever have the chance again. By delving deeper into treatment Dustin saw that people lived a life similar to his and turned their lives around by achieving hopes, dreams and goals they had never thought were imaginable. Today Dustin has a little something extra to ensure his own happiness, joy and freedom. He has found through recovery a privilege and purpose today which once seemed long lost to him. He knows that if he chooses to stay in recovery he can choose to leave a legacy. Recovery has given him a life that’s truly transformed — it’s something which he credits to himself, forces greater than him, and the people who have inspired him to continue his journey. The post Dustin appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

Dave was sober for 11 years and then he turned 12. It all went downhill for him. For Dave buying drugs was as easy as going through a fast food drive-thru.  He could walk down a block get a bag of dope for $10 which for him was like doing four percocets or rocks at once. His addiction escalated where he couldn’t just do one bag of dope. Dave had been doing pills for about three years but it was heroin that messed him up faster. His addiction had pushed him to the brink — he had found himself in a hospital bed due to alcohol and prescription pill abuse. In the back of his mind Dave was thinking of a way to hack his way out of his own addiction. He knew a lot of people who came back and were trusted again by the people they knew. In treatment for 30 days, something changed in Dave around the 20th day — he got honest with his counselor. By the time Dave was in sober living there was a willingness to be open and honest. It was being pulled out of him. To this day he doesn’t know why its him in recovery and not somebody else that went to rehab with him. He feels super blessed. He’s not going to say it was luck or coincidence — for Dave it was a lot more than that. It was him branching out to a lot of different areas with the accumulation balanced him out. The post Dave appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

When Nick was using drugs he felt like the man. He never wanted to live another day in his life without feeling like that. All of his anxiety was suddenly gone. He could talk to anyone. He could do anything. The thing was that he couldn’t stop. It lead him to do things he wasn’t proud of — stealing from his family or doing any number of illegal hustles so that he didn’t feel sick. The substance was so powerful and overwhelming that he didn’t have a choice. He had to do it. At some point Nick knew that he wanted to get help. With tears in his eyes, he told his parents about his addiction and that he had a number for a rehab. At first, treatment was scary for Nick as he was off his pills and began withdrawal, but eventually he began to form a brotherhood in treatment. He can recall his roommate telling him to look into the mirror and to look at himself. He remembers seeing himself in the mirror and breaking down in tears as he didn’t recognize himself. It was a pivotal moment for Nick because it showed him how scary it was to not be able to recognize yourself. The tears he shed washed away some of his pain. The biggest thing Nick was taught in treatment was the saying “you only have to change one thing and its everything.” At the time, he thought it was kind of overwhelming but for Nick it was 100% accurate. He believes treatment is an opportunity to completely change your life and that we all have the foundation of a successful person. Nick doesn’t know any successful addicts so taking a leap of faith towards recovery is a great start. The post Nick appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

Matt remembers the first time he took a pill. It felt like pure bliss and happiness. He didn’t care what his friends thought of him as long as he had his pills. At 16 he was convincted of home invasion — specifically breaking into people’s houses and stealing their prescription pills. The progression of his disease had gone from two pain pills by mouth to shooting up. Once he entered treatment, Matt really wanted to do die. He didn’t want to be around anymore. People didn’t want to be around him. Matt’s been in treatment three times and he’s learned a lot about himself while in recovery. He acknowledges that one of the biggest motivating things as to why he used drugs was because he was afraid of success, failure or rejection. Everything was fear-based. That’s why he used because when he used, he didn’t have to deal with reality.  Now one of the biggest tools he’s acquired while in recovery is to stop talking/trying everything his way as his best thinking got him into felonies. Now Matt has embraced recovery and how its provided him a spiritual/human connection with other people where if something happens in his life he can just talk about it. Today he wants to be an example of sobriety. He understands that once you get sober, you carry this responsibility. The post Matt appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

Michael likes to say that his first addiction was to violence and anger because he was an angry kid. It didn’t take much to get him to fight someone or to do something in a violent manner. He found a way to channel that rage into MMA, but an injury led Michael to prescription drugs and a life on the the streets constantly looking for more. Almost instantly, it seemed, his life became incredibly chaotic.  His life became unmanageable once he started injecting heroin. Within a two month period Michael sold everything he had.  He felt like a wild dog in the woods. He did anything to survive. He did anything to get heroin even if it meant selling a friend’s car for drugs. Dope sick and crying, Michael prayed that he could manipulate somebody to get their money. It was a TV show (Judge Mathis), however that would change Michael’s life and lead him to the gift of treatment. Michael recalls being in a group and someone was talking about the statistics of how many people stay clean — out of 32 guys in the house only two would stay clean. This caught Michael’s attention. It’s something that’s stayed with him till this day.  He made a decision that he wanted to be one of those two guys. He participated in his recovery and through the 12 step program he finally felt a sense of belonging, a sense of someone loving him. Today Michael lives a life entirely different than it was before. He co-owns two recovery houses and is working on a third. He has so much gratitude for being able to just live today instead of merely surviving. The post Michael appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

Thomas grew up as a very sensitive kid. He was very bookish and a bit of an introvert. He believed that he was an addict from day one because he was always using something to self-medicate and calm myself down — whether it was retreating from the world or getting lost in books. When he found drugs and alcohol he felt that it was a very fun, very easy and very effective way of doing that. Addiction for him was built on a false persona. His addiction had isolated him to the point that he felt that his spirit was just hanging on by a little tiny thread. Thomas had hit rock bottom and started to make plans to end his life. Thomas will never forget being on a beach and hearing a phrase from someone that made him decide to call a suicide hotline instead of end his life. Thomas believes the day on the beach was the day his old life died. He had a second chance. Rehab became an incredible life changing experience for Thomas where he would get up, meditate and make gratitude lists. He would remind himself of all the good things in life and its possibilities. Each day in treatment started turning into an adventure in living. Thomas didn’t have any expectations for his life when he was using. He didn’t even think he would survive. Today Thomas lives a life that is completely free and open. He believes that underneath all the drugs and alcohol (and anything you’ve done),is your beautiful soul and you can always come back to that. The post Thomas appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

Missy’s drug of choice was Adderall. She used it to get ahead. She started using it to study and she just couldn’t stop once she started. In her mind Missy didn’t think she was a drug addict she thought she was just doing what everyone else did. She had reached a point where she couldn’t function in life without Adderall. She had hit a cycle where she was working just to pay for her addiction. She had also created a cycle where she was alone and miserable and taking uppers to come up, downers to come down and drank during the times in-between. No one knew about Missy’s secret. She was scared that if people found out that she’d have to stop. She had believed that Adderall had made her perfect. Missy believes that it was divine grace that led to Missy’s family intervening and asking her to get help. She was willing. She was ready to be done. When Missy first went into treatment she felt like a reporter doing a story while undercover. She couldn’t accept that she was actually there. Over time and by putting her heart into it she realized that she was just like everybody else. It didn’t matter what drug you were on — Heroin or Adderall. They were all the same. Now with a second chance on life Missy is humble. She was able to realize that her actions got her to a point of self-destruction. Today the biggest change for her is doing what makes her happy — doing it from the heart and not her head. The post Missy appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

Andrea’s codependence started at a very young age. She used relationships as her higher power. It was similar to her relationship with alcohol in that she was obsessed with it. She was obsessed with fixing a relationship she was in. According to Andrea, it was a shame cycle like her alcohol abuse. At a certain point Andrea was dealing with a love addiction, alcohol abuse and an eating disorder. It was an awful prison for her to live in. She thought motherhood would be able to save her and turn her life around but it turned out to not be the case. Andrea didn’t know how to cope with life. She didn’t know how to deal with grief. She had so much rage. She describes her life at the time like a water balloon with all these little things pricking holes in it with pain. The balloon burst when her son saw her drink out of a bottle and asked her what she was doing.  Andrea in tears poured out what was left. September 26, 2011 was the last time Andrea had a drink. Andrea didn’t want her children to grow up with a drunk mom. She knows that when she was drinking she didn’t have any tact. She knew sobriety was the absolute path to go and she needed to prove that to herself.  Now in recovery Andrea has seen a major change emotionally. She’s emotionally mature and healthy and is able to talk about her feelings and know they matter. The post Andrea appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

Colin was 15 years old when he got drunk for the first time in a bar. He was an alcoholic from the offset. He had no fear of becoming one. At an early age there wasn’t a real sense of morality for Colin to deal with so it was all fun and games. By the time he was 23 he was in enough pain — physically mentally and spiritually. At a certain point he was 115 pounds and his liver was damaged and swollen. He knew that once he had his first drink, he didn’t know where it was going to take him. His addiction would continue until a beautiful day in Manhattan would forever change Colin’s life and lead him down the road to recovery. Colin’s been in and out of recovery for 22 years and he knows that as long as he never puts a drink in his mouth he will never ever be drunk again. He knows that as long as he’s sober he is an active participant in his life. He has no idea how is life is going to unfold but he knows that he’s present. He feels like he’s doing his part now. The post Colin appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

Veronica binge drank from the word go. She believed that the purpose of drinking alcohol was to get very, very drunk. One of her earliest drinking moments was being 15 years old and being in a pub in England. Alcohol gave her all of the feelings that she had been chasing her whole life. By the time she was 18 she experienced a deep psychosis and had hit rock bottom. She had quit drugs but her relationship with alcohol changed as it was now used to cope with her severe social anxiety. From the ages of 18 to 27 (which is when she got sober), Veronica was trying to cover the cracks in her life and convince people that she was okay when she wasn’t. She was suicidal, desperate and lonely. She used a lot of external things to fix those feelings. She believed if she changed her external world, then she could change how she felt on the inside. She had to change how she felt on the inside. For Veronica it was doing the 12-Steps and having an emotional rearrangement. This would be the beginning of her recovery. Veronica has now been sober for over 17 years, and her life now is completely unrecognizable from that of her past. She believes that when you get sober, your life expands and you’re able to begin the process of reaching your potential. She now has a career in recovery working as a therapist and coach. She loves working with people and seeing them recover. For her it’s an incredible experience. The post Veronica appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

Sara said that it was a relationship that got her addicted to heroin. Seven years later she has learned that it wasn’t the case. It was her. The decision to use or not was hers to make and she chose to do it. It became a physical addiction, and she started needing it every day. While facing addiction, Sara also endured physical abuse from a boyfriend who she loved. She even thought she deserved the abuse. Ultimately Sara had reached a point where she knew she had to get help. She got into a car with her father and headed straight to treatment. Once in treatment, Sara began to work on herself. She realized it wasn’t her fault that her boyfriend was abusive. She had to get help because she knew she couldn’t do it herself. She needed detox. Once she got into the program she found people who were just like her. She had found people and things in treatment that could help her. She truly believes treatment saved her life because otherwise she knows she would still be with that abusive boyfriend who supported her addiction. Today she is looking out for herself. She believes in karma. She knows it’s going to come back and help put her in the right direction. She knows she’ll be where she needs to be. The post Sara appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

On September 6th, 2016 Stephanie overdosed on oxycodone, which led her to her first detox. Stephanie had nothing when she made the decision to go 3,000 miles away from home for treatment. She had no financial support, no job and her family really didn’t want anything to do with her. When she initially arrived at treatment she didn’t want to do 30 days. She wanted to maybe do two weeks. After two weeks it hit her. She wasn’t ready to go home. The people, places and things, especially changing her environment helped her situation. During this process, she was taught the following — if you’re not having fun in recovery then you’re doing something wrong. For Stephanie recovery is about having fun. Stephanie has kept herself very busy in active recovery. She goes to meetings every single day and wants to go back to school for psychology as she wants to become a clinician and work with others in treatment centers. She knows she has purpose. The post Stephanie appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

At the age of 10 Bianca decided to try heroin. That eventually led to her selling drugs. She can recall at the age of 11 having a kilo of heroin in her backpack. By 16 she began to shoot heroin. Her addiction had reached a point where she found herself placed into a psych ward.  Bianca would celebrate her 18th birthday at a mental hospital. All she cared about was herself and heroin. She can remember talking to her mother and telling her that she was tired of her life with addiction. She was tired of being a horrible person. She had gone from 160 to 97 pounds. After detoxing in treatment Bianca began the process of recovery. She didn’t want to begin a cycle where she would go to treatment eight times. She wanted this to be her first and last time, and if it meant saying goodbye to the love of her life (heroin) then she was okay doing that. Treatment has truly expanded Bianca’s mindset. She now has the willpower to say no.  She’s grateful to be alive. She knows times are rough but there is always light at the end of the tunnel no matter where you are. The post Bianca appeared first on American Addiction Centers.

Being around drugs and money all the time led Matt to substance abuse. Before he knew it he was hooked on what he was selling. He smoked pot everyday until he found heroin and then that was it. Everything in his life had fallen apart but his family never gave up on him. They were the ones who reached out and got him the help he needed. Matt was afraid to detox. If someone could’ve have explained to him the experience he received at treatment then he would’ve gone much earlier. It was a real easy transition that he took to. It was an experience that he ever knew was possible. It saved his life. Today Matt loves the life that he has. He feels like he’s been given a second chance as there’s just a positive spin to his life now. He wouldn’t be happy if he was dealt with other hand. He’s content with standing on his choices and decisions. He’s grateful for everything he has. The post Matt appeared first on American Addiction Centers.