God in the Body Teachings and Songs

I possess the slow seeing of Owl, measured turning of the head Medicine of discernment, wisdom, and destroying deception Truth of the Garden, Truth of the hell realms  lighting the way through death with shared Light and cultivation to liberate the suffering ones, following Yeshua and Magdalena  but he has forgotten, or maybe not  yet he is choosing something else  in this moment of eternity and I am grieving  I pray to be shown the highest good that is in this  I especially pray to know my own happiness  the Causes of Happiness, and my deepest desires fulfilled one part leaking energies and one part pristine absolute Truth tantric, shamanic, and indigenous

we travel into the celestial realms through my voice,  then root into the body of the Mother, fingers touching lightly,  sinking bare toes into warm sand, sun kissing shining faces man and woman on this earth walk, witnessed by the medicines,  creatures, angels and other humans in the light of day   letting go of him from ceremony, from the womb of purification  I took him in so deeply with the spoken prayer  the smoke, earth and sky, grandfather Tabaquito  letting go of him from traveling  through astral realms and the underworld, where I already knew him we have been there before many times together  he does not want to do this with me now

Master Alchemist, I am assigned the task of transmuting  every elemental energy and emotion without judgment or reactivity,  Sacred Neutral, every step I take is leading to my happiness I practice as the yidam even though I feel like an undeveloped fetus  like a raw peeled shrimp from the lower realms   the alchemical centers are the glands of the endocrine system  the chakras, they are the autonomic foci of the nervous system  portals from the subtle dimensions into the physical body fusion of sun and moon in each one  Master Alchemist, the knowing of this  the need to balance it with development of the human  the paradox of needing to practice in these profound secret ways just to tolerate being in this body  and in contact with other humans and form  forgiveness of the looking forward to new sweaters and crystals  and things that I don’t even really want

we do our deity yoga first, manifest as our yidam  and then command the protectors to protect us  from that point of view  they are part of our spiritual Sangha, expressions of Buddha activity   they are our spiritual immune system   commanding the elements and the miracles,  commanding the orders of angels and the protectors  commanding from my God self  from the place of union and inseparability I must activate the bellows to be in my body  difficult when in ordinary non-ceremonial life but necessary if I am to be in Presence in every moment 

a cleansing mental, physical and spiritual shower  somehow, I need Protectors for this  I must ask and receive, but somehow use my volition  maybe nectar up, as the rain pounds on my body, the dead body  the shame is hard to bear  I stay inside, I stay deep inside with the writhing  I cut the roots of the glaring projections  I cut the roots of the ones who are drawn to them and grab for them egg on the face the passionate holy camels tenderly eat it off with their swimming lips  the accidental running into them  without eye contact or acknowledgment is painful  since confusion is due to afflictive emotions it is held that freedom comes  from making emotions themselves the path, this is fortunate

hatred for her face, rage for his profile,  as they waited for their hamburgers  Angels of Mercy, Dove of Shekinah‘s Grace   fractured souls,  fragmented psyches, grief and devastation I submit to the cleansing shower, like a shivering dog in a bathtub when the dark night of the soul persists do not resist the rebirthing process, stay connected, that is the key all spiritual approaches must culminate in the approach  of the Vajra Heart Essence, being impossible  to attain Buddhahood without perceiving this doorway

I made a vow to him one night as we were still damp  from sweat and heat, I said, I pledge you my Truth he spoke of the Nature of Mind allowing boundary to arise from adoring care of self and other  free from aggression   when there is discomfort or negativity in the dream  the practice is to bring Love to it I understand the fractured soul, the fragmented psyche the kind where the mother tries to destroy the child  or the mother kills herself  it makes for a very different kind of life and practice  we take care with the story and positionality

the fear of the softness, of the reverence, the vulnerability  the fear of being seen in that place  the shame of previous profane thinking and acting  the fear of remembering the connection with him and the reverence the sacred opening, remembering, remembering the words, the prayers, the songs, they penetrate me, I am split open my passion shows on my face, and in my body, my deepest desire sacrifice, to make sacred, everything that I think is, or was, profane my teeth are pearly white, I sing the Song of my Highest Destiny  I want to be lying down when the serpents come alive  and start to dance. Vase Body

my Father, the Creator, gives me what you hear me say  and what you see me do  the Mother of Wisdom, Shekinah-Sophia, the Holy Spirit of Truth  bears witness to this   becoming aware that I was in the death process for years  continually resisting the rebirthing, the initiations  I did not realize what was happening, or know how to do it  I did not know how to let concrete reality dissolve gracefully  and safely at the time, while raising two daughters

the yearning for him, to be close to him  I don’t indulge it or inflame it and I don’t deny it  I let it come out and I let it be, I let it rest, I let it breathe and be seen  I stand on the top of the ridge  before Grandfather Sun and the Sky Grandmothers  with all of my Relations and the Angels of the Tree of Life  with the Stone People and my Magdalene brothers and sisters  I speak out loud…I want, I need, I love, I feel, I am seen  I rest in the light of day, I start with my roots through my feet  breathe up, resting in the bowl of my womb, alive  breathing up through the gates, the Nectar, the life force  my heart it swells, it is afraid, I let it burst up through the corridors  Cosmic Buddha Christ, Angels of the side bodies  offering up the red death, offering up the white glare  I take refuge in the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, my True Essence  Divine Mother, who never fails me  we breathe in, we breathe out, we sing  I stroke my arms and my hips, I stride with dignity  I rest in the Beingness that I Am

Sangha is in the head center, it is body, Nirmanakaya Dharma is in the throat center, it is speech, Samboghakaya   Buddha is in the heart center, it is mind, Dharmakaya   my deepest desire,  for Union with my beloved on a mild sunny day  stamping crystalline reindeer, white seed essence  for Union with my beloved in the dark of night  jaguar breath of fire, red seed essence  red and white eternally wed, indestructible Bindu in the heart  Vajrasattva, help me to remember

I spend devotional time in communion with the Seraphic Hosts developing in myself the superior power to cast out demons  and take dominion over the outer world of form   Blissful Inner Heat Yoga of the Fierce Goddess  is associated with the navel chakra  Dream Yoga is associated with the throat chakra

memories of the sun on his skin, the marks, the coloring left behind their suntanned faces above finally bleached linen robes,  Sun kissed   longing for the Sun, longing for the Sun and the Moon  desire of the Moon for the Sun and Sun for the Moon  Moon kissed by the Sun, the hunger for his skin, kissed by the Sun  the warmth of the Sun on my skin, I let myself have the yearning  I offer it up

stroking, nesting, intimacy, the joining of magnetic fields the nesting of the male initiate  in the magnetic field of the female initiate reproducing being in utero of the mother   I recognize this, I hold it sacred, Pure Intention  the good fortune of the female initiate  my heart grieves, my pain body cannot comprehend  that Creation could have made this mistake  I Am made for this, the training to stay awake and be the Love  tender and fierce, where there has been deep injury  Angels of Mercy and my own True Essence, teach me to see clearly

Yuthok, the Medicine guru, and his Dakinis  will grant you your deepest desires with their Medicines and Nectar  the Medicines and Nectar of your own True Essence  my deepest desire for the fusion of Sun and Moon with him  he came like a thief in the night  and left me with an embroidered wall hanging

I find my home inside myself, I find my family, I find my Beloved  I ring the bell, I Am the ringing of the bell  the vibration rippling through Creation  manifestation through the Tree of Life that I Am, Wordless place

each alchemical center has an atomic configuration  electrons orbiting around central nucleus   Buddhas with their Dakinis, Seed Essence through Mandala I watched him shoot up the heroin, except that I am not the drug  I Am the Goddess  

Vajra Pride, spiritual confidence, knowing that I am the deity  this is unfathomable, the faith and trust that even though I feel like the dead body, and I think I am the dead body  I am actually the One who resurrects the dead body  I am needed for this, this is my Prayer and my mission take the posture 

I was not really in my body, I came into my body to meet him here  and now here I am, feeling all of it releasing every limited and confused attachment  from every cell, every thought form, every electron and every Prayer  I didn’t realize until I did  the awareness dawns slowly now and the ground shakes Steady, girlfriend… 

my penance is to take the Medicine. Cultivate the Nectar  press on the heart and belly and ride the Chariot  look up into the Face of God, my Prayer and the answer to it the sin is that he came to the holy union with me in a profane way without fully choosing me or it, and I agreed At-one-ment