Good Mourning: The Many Faces of Grief – Darcie D.

Are you still counting calories? It’s holiday time and there should be no calories during the holidays. Or are you making lists of the things that you don’t have any more, including your loved one? Handling the holidays is not deciding how to eliminate the fat, the pain, the memories from our lives, but rather, learning how to count our blessings instead of listing our losses. Join me this week as we visit some friends who will share their blessings with us. It is truly the GIFT OF REMEMBERED LOVE. Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com or visit our website at www.griefinc.com.

It only takes a moment for it all to be gone. A phone call, a knock on the door, a text, a few words and our world can come crashing down around us. What do you do when grief comes calling? Kris Munsch, of Hays, Kansas, builds and renovates things: houses, businesses, stores, things. No matter how run down or dilapidated it was, he saw potential. A professional craftsman and woodworker, there was never a project too big for Kris. He was a master “fixer of things” but he couldn’t figure out how to fix his life after the death of his son. Because he didn’t know what else to do, Kris decided to try to rebuild his life just as he had renovated so many collapsed houses. He created The Birdhouse Project as a way of bringing hope and healing to those challenged by change. He is the author of The Birdhouse Project: Collaboration of the Heart, Mind and Hands. Come meet Kris and learn about The Birdhouse Project. You can find information about the project at www.thebirdhouseproiect.com. Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com, or visit our website at www.griefinc.com.

NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP I PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO KEEP IF I SHOULD DIE BEFORE I WAKE I PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO TAKE A universal child’s prayer, meant to give comfort, it may, instead, inspire FEAR. Although many parents refuse to give voice to a child’s fears and concerns about death, they sponsor the utterance of these few words each night. Is this our only introduction to Death? For many children, it is the sum total of a family’s communications about death, loss and grief. While adults have a difficult time talking about death and grief, talking with kids about this is even harder! Join us as we talk to Alicia S. Franklin, a bereaved sibling, nationally known authority on children and grief, and the author of the award winning book, Am I Still A Sister? We’ll explore ways children express their grief and some tips on how to talk with them about this tough topic.

I’ve decided to spend January in my basement. After all, basements are often dark and gloomy (suits my mood), in need of organization (describes my life perfectly) and could use a good cleaning (similar to shaking the cobwebs out of my brain.) January is a let down from the hustle and bustle of the Holidays. It is a month to “get through.” January is a month to SURVIVE. It’s sometimes a depressing month, just like grief is sometimes depressing. But how do we know when it being “down” is OK and heading towards being “really down” or depressed isn’t ok? Today we’re going to ask one of our favorite regular guests, Dr. Bob Baugher, a psychology professor at Highline Community College in Des Moines, WA that question. Dr. Bob’s books can be found at The Grief Store at www.griefstore.com or by contacting Bob directly at b_kbaugher@yahoo.com. We’re going to talk about surviving the post holiday letdown, depression and grief and maybe even talk a little bit about some new year’s resolutions. Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com or visit our website at www.griefinc.com.

I’ve always wondered why the new year begins buried in snow, frozen in ice or blanketed in mud. It always seems harder to begin when my feet are encased in leaden boots or stuck in frozen mud. Wouldn’t it be easier to begin a new journey if the weather were warmer and my feet were strapped into sandals or even bare? The beginning of the new year is a time for me to take stock, to rearrange and reorganize. And I thought it might be nice to check back in with my very first guest: Alan Pedersen. Let’s see how Alan is doing and what he has learned over the fleeting months of 2013. And let’s review a few things that we have learned over the year together, too. You can find out more about Alan and his music at www.everashleymusic.com; angelsacrosstheusa@gmail.com; or www.angelsacrosstheusa.com. Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com or visit our website at www.griefinc.com.

It’s the holiday season and no matter which holiday it is for you, it’s time to celebrate and to give and receive gifts. But when your holiday may only be seasoned with grief, exchanging gifts may seem especially painful. Yet, there is one gift exchange that is so incredible, so profound that we need to share it. Today we are going to talk about organ donation and visit with some very special guests: a couple whose son died in a horrific car crash and became an organ donor and a young, professional woman who was given a second chance at life with an organ donation. We are going to look at both sides of the equation…what it is like to be the family of an organ donor and what it is like to be the recipient of such a gift. You can find out more about organ donation at donatelifeamerica@donatelife.net Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com or visit our website at www.griefinc.com.

This is not your typical holiday show, yet it is a story of despair and hope woven together as one family struggles to find joy again after the death of their precious child. For years we struggled with the belief that the divorce rate was as high as 80%. Fortunately, new studies strongly suggest this to be a myth. We can put that 80% number to rest. The actual number is closer to a 12-16% failure rate. Join me as we talk with John and Suzanne Henkels, bereaved parents of Sammy, and discover how they learned to reconnect the scattered pieces of their marriage. Their triumph over tragedy and their path to joy is truly a holiday story for all of us. You can find out more about John’s book, Samuel’s Mission: A Family’s Return to Joy at www.samuelsmission.com. Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com or visit our website at www.griefinc.com.

Life is a little different in small town America. Here the pace is the slower and the people seem to be closer to each other. Minneapolis, Kansas is alive and well and thriving…held together by the compassionate caring of its residents. It is rural America at its best and it is the home of a first generation funeral service family. I want you to meet the Wilsons: Todd, Shelly, Landon 12 and Reece, 8. It is one family, united around an old wooden kitchen table, heads bowed in prayer, counting their blessings of the day. And the Wilson family of Minneapolis, Kansas has many blessings to count. You can visit the Wilson Family Funeral Home at www.wilsonfamilyfuneralhome.com. Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com, visit our website at www.griefinc.com or visit us at Good Mourning: The Many Faces of Grief on FaceBook.

Holiday cards. Gifts. Singing. Decorating. Pretending to be happy. Fruitcake? It’s holiday time and the world is filled with music, tinsel and glitter. It is a festive time of year, filled with joyous occasions and family gatherings. But when your family circle has been broken by death, the only things that sparkle this season may be tears. The holidays may only serve to remind you of the empty space at the table, the hole in your heart. While most of the world seems to be addressing holiday greeting cards and planning holiday menus, the bereaved are struggling with other concerns: how long does grief last? Will the holidays always be this awful? What do we do with the empty place at the table? What is there to be thankful for this year? Join us this week as we sift through the tinsel, trinkets and tears to find some ways to survive the approaching holiday season. You can find out more about Tips for Handling the Holidays at www.griefinc.com. Enjoy Paul Alexander’s music at www.griefsong.com. Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com or visit our website at www.griefinc.com.

A single sigh and she left. She left us, not with anguish or pain, but in the quietness of a sunlit room, in the peace of her own home, under the guardianship of a hospice program. My mom was able to die the way she wished…at home, surrounded by her favorite things, with her family close by. We were only a breath away, not sitting in some cold, impersonal waiting room. November is National Hospice Month and today I want to say thank you to the men and women who work every day to help the dying and their family find peace in the final farewell. Join me as we talk with Susan Powell, a licensed clinical social worker who is the Psychosocial Manager for Group Health Hospice in Seattle, WA. You can learn more about the hospice movement by visiting their website, www.nhpco.org. Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com, or visit our website at www.griefinc.com.

Somewhere in the world, an American soldier, sailor, airmen, Marine or Coastguardsmen stands guard. Throughout history, there have been men and women who have always stood guard…ready to protect their families, homes, their very lives. Sometimes armed with sticks and stones, bows and arrows, long guns and pistols, sophisticated weapons and sometimes only with ideals and rhetoric, Man has stood guard, protecting what he believes in. And somewhere else, a mother, a wife, a father, a husband, a sibling, a grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, best friend stands vigil at the window, hoping and praying for a safe return of their warrior. It has always been that way, whether the threshold was an entrance to a cave or a palace…Man stands to protect and another stands to welcome home. Today is Veterans’ Day and I want to say THANK YOU to the American Veteran and also THANK YOU to the family who stands behind them. Join me as we talk with three military veterans and their spouses as we explore the grief of being away from home and family to walk in harms’ way to “protect and defend” their country. It is the day we pause to remember the price of freedom. Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com, visit our website at www.griefinc.com or visit us at Good Mourning: The Many Faces of Grief on FaceBook. LINKS: www.griefstore.com www.centering.org www.AmericanGriefAcademy.com

How do you breathe when the air has just been swept away with the words, “We regret to inform you…”? These are the words that have changed the course of lives for hundreds of thousands of families throughout history as they learned of their loved one’s death in the military. Today we’re going to talk about making choices in our grief journey and how one bereaved mom made the choice to create a sanctuary of hope and healing for our returning warriors and families of the fallen. My guest today is Kelly Kowall, founder of Fave Boating Expeditions and My Warrior’s Place in Ruskin, Florida. You can learn more about them by visiting their website, www.mywarriorsplace.org or by calling 813 321-0880. Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com, or visit our website at www.griefinc.com.

Miscarriage. Stillbirth. Perinatal death. Words that do not belong in the same universe as hope. The baby blanket is packed away. The crib dismantled. The nursery door is closed…like the broken heart of a mother who never got to be one, like a dad who may not even have known his coming role. For families experiencing a miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death, the “baby story” either never got written or was so short that the second page of the Baby Book remains blank forever. How can a footprint that may only exist in the dreams of a young woman make such an impact and cause so much grief? My guest today is Cathi Lammert, a bereaved mom, author of Angelic Presence: Short Stories of Solace and Hope After the Loss of A Baby and past president of Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Inc. whose mission is to serve those whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through pregnancy loss, stillbirth or in the first few months of life. You can learn more about SHARE visiting their website, www.nationalshare.org or by calling 800-821-6819. Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com, or visit our website at www.griefinc.com.

How can a miniature horse named Precious help a child heal a grieving heart? My guest today is Abby Mosher, the Founder and Executive Director of Tomorrow’s Rainbow, Inc. an innovative grief support program for grieving children in Coconut Creek, Florida. She is a pioneer in combining the therapeutic benefits of horses with facilitated peer support groups to provide a highly effective, comprehensive and innovative approach to children’s grief support. Tune in to meet a miniature horse named Precious and Floyd, a 100 pound pig …oh…and Abby too! You can learn more about Tomorrow’s Rainbow by visiting their website, http://www.tomorrowsrainbow.org/ or by calling 954-978-2390. Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com, or visit our website at www.griefinc.com. LINKS: http://www.tomorrowsrainbow.org/ www.griefstore.com www.centering.org

Do you worry that your own memories will fade over time? Or that your loved one will be forgotten? How can we preserve those precious moments of LIFE when all we can remember is the pain and sadness and GRIEF? Are there ways to hold on to the joys of a loved one’s life long after the casseroles have quit coming and the headstone grows mossy with age? My guests today are Claire McHan of Heart-in-Diamond, David Navarrete of PureCountry.com and Andrew Jorgensen of Remembered.com. , all companies who offer some very unique ways for us to memorialize our loved ones. You can learn more about each of my guests by visiting: www.heart-in-diamond.com. (diamond jewelry), www.griefstore.com (memorial tribute blanket) or www.remembered.com (an on-line memorial tribute site). Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com, or visit our website at www.griefinc.com.

Did you know that there are more than two million children and teens in the United States who are grieving the death of their moms or dads and that they are at much greater risk for psychological and behavioral problems than other kids? 1 out of every 20 children will experience the death of a parent before the age of 16. How can baking cookies or having a family movie night or attending a baseball game and eating a hot dog help these children grow through their grief to move from surviving to thriving? My guest today is Laura Munts, of the Family Lives On Foundation, a non-profit organization that uses tradition fulfillment to focus on the LIFE STORY rather than talking about the “death story”. Children and their family chose a cherished tradition to recreate in celebration of their parent’s life and find healing in baking the cookies or having a picnic in the park. You can learn more about The Family Lives On Foundation by visiting: www.familyliveson.org or calling 610 458-1690. Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com, or visit our website at www.griefinc.com. -

Can a dog be a grief specialist? When crisis or disaster strikes a community or an individual, who responds to help restore hope and renew faith? Today we are going to meet two members of a very unique disaster response team and talk with them about their work and their mission. My guests today are Ralph Buchhorn & Georgie of The Extra Mile K9 Crisis Response Program in San Diego, CA. Join me as we explore how dogs and other animals can bring a sense of hope and healing in the midst of disaster. You can learn more about The Extra Mile K9 Crisis Response Program by visiting www.faceofcrisis.org. Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com, or visit our website at www.griefinc.com.

Does it hurt more to have a loved one die by sudden, accidental death or a long-term illness? Does it hurt more to have someone die by homicide or suicide? What about deaths from conflicts or war or acts of terrorism? Who hurts the most? And is this a valid argument and an appropriate use of our grief time? Dare we compare grief? Even the bereaved may attempt to play the Bereavement-one-upmanship game of Who Hurts More? Does knowing you “win” at this psychological and social “game” help in your grief journey? Or does it simply add to the isolation and the pain? My guest today is Cathy Seehuetter, a twice bereaved mom whose daughter died as the results of a drunk driver crash and whose stepson died by suicide. Come with me as we visit with one person who can truly compare types of losses and see what she thinks. Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com, or visit our website at www.griefinc.com. LINKS: www.griefinc.com www.griefstore.com www.centering.org www.AmericanGriefAcademy.com radio@griefinc.com suicidepreventionlifeline.org www.suicidology.org (American Association of Suicidology) www.afsp.org (American Foundation for Suicide Prevention)

Suicide. The very word seems shrouded in pain, mystery, and sorrow. It is huge topic, but one that is usually avoided or whispered about. No one wants to talk about suicide and those who are thinking about it or have had a loved one die by suicide often find themselves isolated and alone. Men and women, adults and children, the rich and the poor, people of all ages complete suicide. It knows no stranger. No one is immune to the tragedy of suicide. My guest today is Dr. Bob Baugher, a professor at Highline Community College in Des Moines, Washington where he teaches courses in psychology, death and dying, suicide intervention and other topics. He is the author of 9 books, including After Suicide Loss: Coping With Your Grief. Dr. Bob is a suicide intervention trainer with the Washington State Youth Suicide Prevention Program and a trainer for ASIST (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training) by Livingworks Education, Inc. The myths are many, the fears are great and the silence is deafening when it comes to suicide. September is national suicide awareness month and we are going to open the door and meet this very difficult topic head on. You can find Dr. Bob’s books at the Grief Store (www.griefstore.com ) or at b_kbaugher@yahoo.com. Please send your suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com, or visit our website at www.griefinc.com.

Most of us meet only one face of grief at a time, although any change brings about many challenges. But how does one survive when grief keeps knocking on the door, again and again? Who do you grieve for first? How do you get up in the morning, wondering if there will be another knock at the door or a phone call that sends the world spinning in a different direction? My guest today is Harriet Hodgson, who, in one year, faced the death of 4 of her family members including her daughter. Left to raise her twin grandchildren, Harriet, an independent journalist for more than 35 years, turned to what she knew…writing…to find a path to healing. She used her writing skills to find a way out of the incredible darkness that overpowered her in 2007. Join me as we explore ways to survive multiple losses and use the power of writing as a healing tool. You can learn more about Harriet and her books by visiting: http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&field-author=Harriet%20Hodgson&page=1&rh=n%3A283155%2Cp_27%3AHarriet%20Hodgson or http://thegrieftoolbox.com/users/harriet-hodgson. Please send your thoughts, comments, or suggestions to us at radio@griefinc.com, or visit our website at www.griefinc.com.