I Don't Know, What Do You Want To Talk About?

Sometimes we run out of time and have to record the podcast the day it’s due out …and by sometimes I mean now …now is that day. https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/episode-68.mp3  

Join Captain Salty and The Slacker this week for a catch-up on the happenings of their mostly uninteresting lives loosely packed with Art swaps, Hermit tendencies, Trading robots for goat-cheese, Online classes, Barn cats, Z upgrades, Winter’s death throws, Groundhog days and Krispy Kremes and Cameros! Hear our Hot Take on Nicholas Cage playing the infamous Tiger King! News nuggets this time include The Glampingest Place On Earth: Man Arrested For Camping Inside Disney World Resort During Pandemic Closure, Dong-Slider: Cyberpunk Videogame To Offer Ultimate Junk Upgrade, The Perfect Wide: Arizona Taxidermist Jailed For Displaying Stuffed Spouse On Sofa, and Movie Lovers Will Soon Find Themselves In A Pickle: Seth Rogan To Launch Another Gem In Crazy-premise Portfolio! Special thanks to all our listeners and supporters BIG and small… especially Amber (bad influence #1) for being our top Patreon donor!   https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/episode-67.mp3

Switching it up a little this episode since not much can happen during a quarantine! Hear our shallow puddles of weekly happenings like Film project updates, Mother Nature taking a Midol, Building things, Job inquiries, Exclusive content teasers, Small adventures out of the house, Introducing the kids to old movies, Too much podcast makes David extra salty and how the possibility of long overdue “naked-time” could postpone next week’s episode! Extra news stories this time include: Bigger Than Apollo’s: 30lb Chunk Of The Moon Is Up For Sale, Man Inserts Bicycle Pump In Butt With Hopes Of Artificial Farts…Results in Shits and Grins, I’m Not Saying It’s Aliens…But It’s Aliens: Pentagon Releases UFO Footage, Winkler Vs Hanks: Beloved Actors’ 30yr Feud Kills Inner Child, Feed Me Seymore: Scientist Mess With Plant Genes To Create Glow-In-The-Dark Plants, and Smells Like Teen Spirit: Florida Youth Mistakes Pepper Spray For Body Spray Sending 41 To The Hospital! Don’t miss the epic return of JUST PLAIN WRONG this week to see if David can hold onto his winning streak! A Special thanks to Amber (Bad Influence #1) for her continued support on Patreon!!!   https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/episode-66.mp3

Come listen to the good, the bad and the “meh” this week as these two looneys fill you in on the week laden with Feeling groggy, Face-Time drinkies, Handyman bailouts, Etsy success, Bending quarantine, A case of the 40’s, Happy boxes, Leaving the birthplace, Blind art-swaps and other random highs and lows in no particular order! Make sure to stay for the best news stories of the week including There Goes My Liver And My Money: Adult Ice Cream Truck Delivers Cocktails To A Neighborhood Near You, Don’t Mind Waiting: Drive-Through Strip Club Dancers Shimmy While Your Food Is Made, Dick Pics and Hitler Memes: New Yorkers Tell Mayor How They Really Feel About NYC’s New Tattle Line, and No Longer Bun-Length: Robber Shoots Himself In The Penis After Robbing Chicago Hot Dog Eatery! Thanks to all our listeners and subscribers… especially Amber (Bad Influence #1) for supporting us on Patreon!!   https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/episode-65.mp3

We gather again to celebrate this grand “enabler-of-stupidity” that we call a podcast! Hear about our uneventful quarantine week not-so-filled with Barn work, puppets on Etsy, Robot masks, Ripping up the carpet, Applying for grants, Bulldozers, New levels of dorkdom,  Scrap-metal guys, and probably some other crap we forgot about because Days Don’t Mean ANYTHING Anymore!! Check out how far we will go to entertain you, our fans, as we both reveal how we conquered The Corncob Challenge. At least the news stories kept us entertained. Hear all about: Police Losing Their Minds: Maryland Residents Won’t Wear Pants And Louisiana Wants To Start “The Purge”, Send More Beer: 93yr Old Woman’s Wishes Granted With Truckload Of Piss-Brew, Mutant Enzyme Created To Dissolve Plastic (and probably human flesh too), and I’ll Have What She’s Having: Sex Toy Sales Skyrocket As Quarantiners Look For More Stimulus! Special shout out to all of our Patreon Donors (Especially Amber: Bad Influence #1) and to all our listeners! https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/episode-64.mp3

Here we are again! Back with another recap of our week, we try to make the best of Time-travel, Pains in the “Z”, Quarantine, Tele-doc visits, Critically low motivation levels, Bad Influence supply runs, Politics in the workplace and Disappointing Trolls. Sound exciting? We didn’t think so either, so we found EXTRA special news stories to make up for it, including… “He Hath Risen: Florida Woman Spreads Easter Joy With Unsolicited Porn and Crackers”, “Help, I’ve Shitten And I Can’t Get UP: 911 Is NOT For T.P. Emergencies”, “Pandas Not Into Kinky Public Sex: Wait For Crowds To Leave Before Breaking 10 Year Dry Spell”, and “You Must Be ‘This Fat’ To Ride: Disney And Double-Tree Among Companies Releasing Famous Dessert Recipes During Quarantine”.  A special THANK YOU to our Patreon Donor Amber: Bad Influence #1 and to all our listeners! https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/episode-63.mp3

The only podcast with a David-Guarantee…we are still kicking podcast ass with another episode filled with the week’s tom-foolery like Face-Time drinking parties, Nerds trading nerds, CSI:Farmhouse, Fantasyland freakouts, Woah-Botz on Late-night, The long road to becoming Sheriff, Skyping NZ, Motivation MIA, Filming solo, Tiger-King binging and Coming down with Corona-Lite! Join us for the only news stories we deemed worthy, including “9 Months ‘til Kids Named Covid: Condoms Suddenly In Short Supply”, “Harassing Swine Building Pig-gloos All Over Canada”, “#1 A Priority On The Moon: New Base To Be Built With Pee” and “Think My Brains Out: Russian Porn Star Offers Sexy Reward For Cure”. Thanks to ALL our listeners, but particularly the lovely and generous Amber: Bad Influence #1 for being a Patreon donator! https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/04/episode-62.mp3

All quarantine and no play make David and Jeremy…something…something… BUT we still managed to pull off another episode for your listening pleasure! Join us to hear about the week filled with last hurrahs, Dungeons and Dragons (the original social distancing), learning to swear, corrupt sheriff tryouts, garden patches, “Fantastic” bootlegs, early retirement, rat deliveries, binge-watching, puppet furniture, praising the editor, Making It applications and noxious poop clouds! You’d never know we were scraping the bottom of the news-barrel when you hear all about Boobies And Burgers: Pasty Clad Strippers Deliver More Than Food, Weaponized Parrot Tortures Neighbors With Chinese Opera, Come On Get Happy: Popular Yale Class Now Free Online and Eat It To Beat It: Chef Creates COVID-Themed Burger To Starve Pandemic Stress. Once again, a special thanks to Amber: Bad Influence #1 for her generous support through our Patreon Page! (Enjoy that new podcast swag!!)   https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/03/episiode-61.mp3

What better way to keep sane during the madness than to listen to our insanity? Come listen to stories of the week filled with Knowing when to fold ‘em, All hell breaking loose, Hazmat cleaning, Killing apple trees, Film rehearsals, Exclusive content recording, Blanket ball smacks, Voice acting, Loosing track of the days, Creepy gun shops, Pay cuts and WHEN THE HELL ARE THESE CHILDREN GOING BACK TO SCHOOL?? Hot Takes covered Mando’s Rosario Dawson and What to Binge Watch… while New Time covered important stories like: Fake Plant Outsmarts California Woman, Elephants Break Quarantine To Get Drunk, LSD Overdoses “Might” Cure What Ailes Ya, and Mars Rover Was A Bad Boy And Needed A Spanking! Don’t forget to join the wonderful and generous Amber in supporting our podcast shenanigans through Patreon! She’s already loving her swag and looking forward to getting her first glimpse of EXCLUSIVE CONTENT! https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/03/episode-60.mp3

Didn’t we JUST do this? Back in the swing of things, listen to the short week in review filled with Taxes, Film rehearsals, Adventures in Deliverance, Dancing turtles, Doctors gone wild, Digging out of the Pit of Despair, T.P. Hoarding, Shopping in 1980’s Soviet Russia, People watching, Dark Humor and School closings. Hear our HOT TAKES on President Bob Dylan and Indiana Jones 5! And definitely stick around for our NON-Covid19 related news stories like Earth Acquires Car-Sized New Moon, Pig Poop and Pedometer Ignites Barnyard Blaze, Davinci Code Benevolence Unlocks Occult Manuscripts, and The Bald & The Beautiful: An Eagle Soap Opera! A VERY Special THANK YOU to our first ever Patreon donator: Amber (AKA Bad Influence #1) https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/03/episode-59.mp3

We took a week off to ice our nethers… But we are back baby! Listen to the happenings of the past two weeks including roofies, poisonings, fundraisers gone wrong, film noir casting, galleries gone wild, NOT hating Mama Mia… and MUCH more! News stories cover Potatoes Don’t Belong In The Pucker, Atomic Vodka Makes The Room Spin (and Glow), Attention Seeking Florida Man Burns Bed and Bladder Beer Tastes Like Piss! ALSO – we invite the world to visit our new Patreon Page to get in on all the podcast action (and bonus episodes)! https://www.patreon.com/user?u=5413344 https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/03/episode-58.mp3

Show notes are hard …just listen to the dang thing!   https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/episode-57.mp3

Stop by and listen to our hosts get all sorts of salty while recapping the week full of snow removal, special robots, the year of the mango, arting as an adult, gallery and Comic Con possibilities, photogenic rats, secret spy at O’Hare, website updates, becoming a sculptor, Noir scouting and puppet giveaways. Yeah… we know… not every week can be exciting! Hear our favorite stories from the world of news: Squirrel Performer Angers Canadian Government, Ghost DNA Reveals Extinct Human Ancestors, Eat A Bag Of Dicks: A Perfect Business Model For 2020 and Rub-A-Dub-Dumb: Dirty Wendy’s Worker Fired For Washing His Meat In Company Sink! https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/episode-56.mp3

Well, well, well… look who’s getting optimistic! Take a look behind the curtain of our week filled with S.T.D., Instagram upticks, Planning Anti-Valentines Day events, Birthday parties, Shipping more robots, Finger-guns, More long distance drinking, Snow days, Not feeling great, 2AM brilliance, Working on the “Noir thing”, Looking for new galleries and Braintrust podcasters! Listen to the balance of optimism shift as we go through our favorite news of the week like: Good Samaritan + Bad Dog = Dead Neighbor, 99 Smartphones Cause Fake Berlin Traffic Jam, Secret Semen Hiding Spot Embarrasses Man And Mortifies Mom, and Beloved T-Rex Downgraded To Giant Chicken: World’s Inner Child Is Pissed!! https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/episode-55.mp3

Damnit 2020… get your crap together! Find out what the fellas got up to this week as they recap events like getting robots shipped to the O’Hare gallery FINALLY, family drama, Instagram catchups, punk-rock rats, Artist “Frienemies”, movie auditions and location scouting, reliving shitty weeks over and over, long distance drinking, consulting gigs, trash-bag nachos, new birthday traditions and Making It TV show applications. Dragging the bottom of the barrel of news stories yielded results like: Absurdly Shocking Breakthrough In Snore-Preventing Technology, Drop It Like It’s Luke-Warm: Human Body Temps Lowering, Australian Parents Of The Year Ditch Kids-Take Modem On An Adventure and Coca-Cola says “Environment, Schmenvironment: Plastic Bottles Are Here To Stay So Quit Your Bitching”. Ok, so not all of them are going to be winners… https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/episode-54.mp3

Damn it… The new year is starting to look like 2019 Part 2! Listen in to tales of mailing robots to Epcot, moving up in the world of Google, emergency trips to Illinois to see Grandma, surviving housework, family enablers, starting to work in film noir, smuggling Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry, job search sucking ass and the cast list grows for All Things Z (Complete with guest stars and spoilers). As if the start of the year wasn’t cringe-worthy enough, this week’s news recap includes Florida Teen Makes Not-So-Sweet Love To A Beehive, Lewd and Rude: Keep Your Nipples To Yourself, Cheating Husband Considers Divorce After Chastity Device Is Cut Off and A.I. Face Recognition Software Coming To A Stalker Near You! https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/episode-53.mp3

STILL Optimistically Mushy… or Mushily Optimistic (and only slightly murdery), join us again this week as we navigate the murky waters of herding feral cats, non-profit work, Mama Mia building, impromptu interviews for jobs we aren’t excited about, LOTS of robot time, family puppet apprentices, winter workshop learning curves, more rats for All Things Z, running errands in prep for a full house and prescription updates with puberty flashbacks. The BIG crazy news events on our minds include: Fabulous Drag Queen Softens Mob’s Hard-line On Gays, Angry Tortoise’s Christmas Suicide Attempt Foiled By Fire Alarm, Cuttlefish Minds Blown During 3D Movie Experience and Instagram Hates Koalas – Shuts Down Naked Philanthropist Trying To Help Australia. https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/episode-52.mp3

Our first podcast of 2020 has us feeling mushy and optimistic… start the New Year off right with tales of hitting the reset button after the holidays, Etsy shops, Dr. appointments (no fingers in the butt, just boner pills), building a rat army, the push for more robots, mixing beards and masks, New Year’s drinking like a pro in Flannelville, wild children and crazy animals, David is the new Jiminy Cricket, emotional intelligence, building Mama Mia and job interviews with a barrage of funny memes! 2020 breaks out with bonkers news stories like: “Toot Tracker: Record Fart Development With Your Phone”, “Florida Toe Sucking Intruder Steps Into A Jam”, “Long Frozen Hubby Swears His Wife Didn’t Kill Him” and “Park Pooping Teacher Smears His Own Reputation”. https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2020/01/episode-51.mp3

Are you ready? We sure as hell are!! We can’t wait for the crap-circus of 2019 to die a horrible death… This is the last episode of the year! Treat your ears to our recap of the holiday week in review full of drinking, last minute gift-making, in-laws arrival, more drinking, banishing Fox News, Christmas traditions, Jeremy’s new Cousin Eddie hat: “shitter’s full”, Star Wars, working as an acting coach, not quite remembering what the hell happened this week AND MORE! Summing up the year’s news stories are priceless gems like; Risky Butt Filler Lands Florida Woman In The Hot Seat, Parents Become Upset With Doll Wieners, Murderous Medieval Duel For A Skank’s Approval and “She Can Bounce The Kesel Run In Less Than 12 Parsecs”: The Ultimate Falcon Fun For Rich Star Wars Fans. https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2019/12/episode-50.mp3

It’s our anniversary episode! https://idontknowpodcastcom.files.wordpress.com/2019/12/episode-49.mp3