Love, Life, Law of Attraction

Sarah Normandin is a life coach for women and a recovering perfectionist. She used to be my own most enthusiastic critic.  Nothing she did met her high expectations and she had the emotional wounds to prove it. At best, she was your typical frenemy, whose backhanded comments lingered in her mind long into the wee hours.  At worst, her own self-doubt was so debilitating that she wasn't sure she could ever escape it. Sarah isn't alone in this. Women often struggle with perfectionism and low self-esteem. When prompted, they can hardly manage to think of a neutral thing to say about themselves, let alone something positive. Self-criticism affects more than just our self worth.  Our high standards are often reflected in other areas of our lives.  This can lead to stress at work and in relationships. It is exhausting to try so hard and constantly feel disappointed in ourselves and everyone else.

There is a general perception in our culture that it's normal for couples to fight. The pervasive belief is marriage and relationships are hard work. You hear that all the time. So, it's no surprise that many people think if you're going to commit, you need to roll up your sleeves and get prepared to battle your way through a lifetime of togetherness. That sounds like no one's idea of a good idea and it sets us up to believe that unhappy, dysfunctional relationships are normal. And yet, lots of people decide to do it anyway. It's a mystery. So we couple up, and hope for happily-ever-after but prepare for the worst, because you know, it's going to be hard work. And after the new car smell wears off it starts. Maybe it's not much in the beginning, but we fight and we think that fighting is normal, if not actually healthy.  However, over time, conflict and resentment start to color how we perceive our relationships and our partners. In fact, eventually, conflict and resentment change the way we think about ourselves. The truth is a lot of fighting in a relationship, while it might be normal, is not healthy at all. The long-term prognosis for a couple that's fighting a lot isn't good, no matter how normal fighting might or might not be.  We are going to talk about 1 strategy that will help you keep your relationship out of the conflict zone and keep you relating to your partner in real-time where it's actually happening.  Read the blog post here.    

The bottom line about moods is we get to choose them and whether you believe that or not, it's true. Moods aren't random. They are the cumulative effect of our focus and that's 100% in our control.  We are going to talk about:  My favorite ways to milk a bad mood Why you shouldn't ever do that And 4 ways to turn a bad mood around on a dime.  The bottom line is you can be as happy as you want to in any given moment. You've simply got to make that choice and stick your landing in a feel better place.       

28% of U.S. students in grades 6–12 experienced bullying.20% of U.S. students in grades 9–12 experienced bullyingApproximately 30% of young people admit to bullying others in surveys70.6% of young people say they have seen bullying in their schools9% of students in grades 6–12 experienced cyberbullying.Only about 20 to 30% of students who are bullied notify adults about the bullying The statistics are scary and it doesn't stop with kids. Most adults have experienced bullying, often in the workplace.  So, what do we do with it? It's a question that seems to defy many of the strategies we commonly use to deal with bullies or help our children manage when they are being bullied.  Often the approach to dealing with bullying is to try to stop the bully. However, that approach often leaves children less empowered and still at risk of being bullied again and again.  What if we took our focus off the bully and instead taught our children to be bully-proof? By empowering our children to be confident we can teach them skills that last a lifetime. Bully-proofing our children can be done. The skills are teachable. 

Are you feeling stressed on the job? You're not alone - statistics show that workplace stress is on the rise. But, what do you do about it? In this episode of Success Unlimited, Dr. Patricia Thompson shares helpful tips for (1) diagnosing the causes of your stress and (2) dealing with them head-on.

By now, we all know that we're supposed to take time for self-care and relaxation.  Still, some of us struggle to make time to do it at all, while others might not make the most of their time when they're doing it. In this brief episode, Dr. Patricia Thompson shares a recent experience that has inspired her to up her self-care game. Hopefully, it'll do the same for you!      

Lisa Cavallaro, coach, author and creator of Bully Spin sees the epidemic of bullying differently. What she has to say might be surprising to some. Lisa believes the best way to deal with the bullying crisis isn't to try to fix or change the bullies themselves. Lisa believes that bullies can't bully if we don't let them. We can choose what behaviors we accept from others. While that might seem like a tall order for a child who's getting pushed around at school and online, learning the skills and the confidence it takes to be bully-proof might be a required survival skill we can teach children and use in adulthood.  Lisa's revolutionary approach to helping children and adults navigate their way through bullying interactions empowers parents and children when nothing else seems to work.  You're not going to want to miss this, because let's face it, everyone knows a bully.

The calling to be a coach is special. We think being a coaching is one of the most special professions there is and coaches are incredible people. However, the industry itself can be tricky. Building a coaching practice so you can do good work in the world isn't as simple as some would have you think. We are going to share seven things we wish every coach knew. These are things we wish we'd known when we started out. If you're a coach, or think you might want to be one, you don't want to miss this show.   

The human experience is full of times when we are stuck.  We get in a rut or find ourselves with a problem we aren't quite sure how to solve.  Here we talk about a few ways you can clear your path and start taking small steps out of that stuck space. 

In the world of coaching words like goal setting, motivation, and accountability get tossed around a lot. A lot of clients will come to the work thinking that's what they will get. However, working with a law of attraction coach is an entirely different ballgame because a law of attraction coach has an entirely different compass point. Putting it simply an LOA coach will dial in on how it feels. They are way more likely to talk about inspiration than motivation. A law of attraction coach is likely to encourage a client to work less and not more.  Some people might think law of attraction coaches are less focused in getting results. That couldn't be further from the truth. However, in LOA coaching results are measured in how those results feel vs. what they look like on paper. A law of attraction coach knows that getting there won't matter if it doesn't feel good.  We're going to talk about the distictions and why working with an LOA coach might be the best investment a client could ever make. 

It is easy to forget who we are. Our identity gets lost in the hustle and bustle of living life catering to external expectations and standards. What does it mean to live from our authentic self?  Our wild self?  When we live wild, we live unshackled from the expectations the world places on us-- and it's better for everyone.  Let's rediscover our truest selves and live from that place.  

As you're looking ahead to the new year, do you want it to be your best ever? Do you want to experience more growth, more progress, and more success?  In this episode, Dr. Thompson issues a challenge that'll get you well on your way to accomplishing those goals.

What is the one thing that might count more than anything else in a coaching session?  The energy we curate for our sessions.  Energy management might be more important than training, skills, or even the relationship we've built with our client. Even the most experienced or LOA savvy coach can often forget that the energy they bring, the vibrations they anchor, and the energetic experience we hold space for can make all the difference for our clients and for ourselves.  We are going to talk about the four pillars of energy management and hygiene for the most effective and magical coaching sessions. 

There are a lot of good men, and good men are finding themselves in really choppy waters right about now. They are having to navigate a lot of conversations and relationships with what feels like a target on their backs that they didn’t earn just because they are male. They feel the anger welling up in women. These good men are listening to the stories. They are reading the articles. They are affected on many levels. The good ones are hearing the messages loud and clear. The challenge is, they aren’t the ones we needed to get the memo. We need the abusers and assholes to get on board, but they are not moving to the right side of this issue willingly. They are being moved through lawsuits and public humiliation. They are very busy right now victim blaming and dodging their history while the good guys are trying to find their way to man up responsibly. We're going to talk about how to find a good man when it feels like all the good ones are hiding. Read the blog post HERE. 

I'm in the spiritually based personal development business. I think a lot of people could transform their lives by taking a deeper dive into learning about spirituality. Reading the books, buying the stuff, spending time in the sphere of a teacher can be life transforming. However, the key is to find yourself in the teachings vs. trying to recreate yourself to be a knock-off of a master. When it comes to the depths of your soul, no one can be your guru but you. You are your own best guru. No one else can feel the stir of your heart. You aren't going to find your fire in the pages of a book. It's your life work to examine the DNA of your soul, then figure out who to sooth it and grow it on your unique journey to your specific brand of enlightenment. We are going to talk about how to find yourself on your spiritual path without getting lost in the shiny wisdom of other people along the way. Read the blog post HERE.

When you're under the gun to perform, how do you get the most out of your team?  Should you apply tension so that they feel pressured to perform? Or, should you take a more caring and compassionate approach? In this episode, Dr. Patricia Thompson provides a brief overview of the research that addresses how to create the sort of environment in which your team can thrive.

There is a difference between being nice and being likable. We've all met people who were very charismatic but not that nice under the layers of likability. However, it doesn't matter a lot how nice you are on the inside, if people don't like you, they probably won't bother to get to know you much past that first impression. There is a science to likability. A lot of it has to do with chemistry. However, there are a few basic tweaks we can all make to be more likable and engage with people more openly. Read the blog post HERE. 

When you're under the gun to perform, how do you get the most out of your team?  Should you apply tension so that they feel pressured to perform? Or, should you take a more caring and compassionate approach? In this episode, Dr. Patricia Thompson provides a brief overview of the research that addresses how to create the sort of environment in which your team can thrive.

I'm rapidly developing a theory that toxic masculinity is a mental illness that a subset of our population, specifically white males are more susceptible to. All kinds of mental diagnosis run more dominantly in certain populations. What if these men were quite literally mentally ill and we're blaming them for a mental disorder without even the consideration of treatment?? I've named it Aggressive Narcissistic Personality Disorder with Hyper Dominance Motivation. I'm not attempting to make excuses for abusers. I'm also not suggesting that every asshole needs to be rushed to a psych doc for meds. However, I am saying that as women, being lost in our own pain might be blinding us from seeing we aren't the only ones who need healing. The patriarchy is sick. A lot of men are sick. A lot of men obviously need help and that help might have to start with women. Read the blog post here. 

When a man says he’s bored with a woman, women almost always think he means sexually. That’s almost never the case, at least in the beginning. It can creep into that territory pretty quick, but it usually starts with him being bored with her in general because she has given up everything that made her interesting to clear the decks for him. I have a close friend who gave up every weekend for almost a decade waiting for a phone call that rarely came and didn’t even notice she’d disappeared from her own life. I’ve been guilty of it more times than I care to count in smaller but still corrosive ways. We're going to talk about why that's never a good idea. Read the blog post here.  For more information visit www.lisamhayes.com.