Love Life

When you realise that the judgements you make of others are simply a reflection of how you feel about yourself, you start to care a lot less about how others feel about you.

Discover how the power of vibration works through the sounds of the words that you use. And begin to understand how the way you verbally respond to situations creates the experience you then have. This is a powerful episode that shares practical tools to help you use your words to attract love, joy and happiness.

Every relationship offers us an opportunity for growth, it’s just a matter of finding perspective. Listen to Kay’s pearls of wisdom as she offers insights into how to navigate toxic and challenging relationships so that you not only survive them but thrive from them. In this podcast episode Kay is joined by one of her clients Caz, who found herself in a toxic relationship when she first met Kay. With Kay’s support she now enjoys a loving and happy relationship and is pleased to share her experience and pick Kay’s brains on how others can do the same.

Our society currently has a tendency to glorify the extremes of masculine energy. By that I mean to be a ‘go-getter’ or the strongest or most successful in the pack is revered, anything less than that is almost failure. This perspective is beneficial up to a point but in excess can result in burnout and tendencies towards anxiety or even depression, which is why we need to balance it. To balance masculine energy we need to work with our feminine energy, each of us, both man and woman has both sides within us. When in balance the dynamic, action oriented, giving masculine energy is harmonized with the creative, discerning and receptive qualities of female energy. So how do we bring this into everyday practice to make life more enjoyable and a little easier?  Accept and enjoy complimentsAllowing yourself to receive is really important for your wellbeing, when you feel appreciated you feel validated and this feels good. Recognition for good work actually releases dopamine, which is why it feels good to be praised, but too often we find it hard to receive compliments so we tend to deflect or ignore them. However the more we take notice of them and allow ourselves to accept and enjoy praise the better we feel. So try and pay more attention to the way people talk about you and what you do, accept approving comments and allow the praise within them to sink in. If you don’t believe you ever receive compliments try giving some – you’ll be amazed how quickly they start coming back to you. Get CreativeCreativity is one of the most natural sources of pleasure but one we rarely prioritise. When you are creating something you move into a state of flow, this is when you are so immersed in what you are doing that you can loose track of time and forget to worry about things you would normally. In fact creativity doesn’t only increase your happiness, it can reduce stress and depression as well as help process trauma. It’s even been proven to improve your immune system and your ability to focus, so why not make a creative pursuit a permanent fixture in your life? Or better yet recognize where you are already creative and allow more space for it, perhaps you really enjoy cooking or strategic thinking about what you do, it could be as simple as thinking up jokes. Take stock of where you are playful and allow yourself to explore it.  Use your judgment more effectively.Discernment about how you spend your time is a key trait of female energy, it stops us rushing into things to just ‘do’ them and instead asks us to analyse whether what we want to do will serve us. So why not spend some time analyzing your current habits and consider whether they’re working for you or not, and perhaps make some changes? You can also take it one step further and start asking yourself everyday: “What can I do for me today that would feel good?” Maybe you would make time for a surf, or go to your favorite café for lunch, it doesn’t have to be a big deal to do something that feels good for yourself each day. And by asking yourself that question you check in with you, someone that you can easily overlook.  To learn more about how to work with your energy, elevate your thinking and start overcoming depression and anxiety contact Kay Wilson Energy Empowerment Coach and Energy Healer Kay Wilson.  

No matter what your dream of success looks like your ability to realise it is far more improved if you’re able to approach life without being limited by fear. Fear is the one single emotion that destroys our ability to move forward in life according to our hearts desires and the truth is it’s so much a part of who we are we can barely identify it. Procrastination, self doubt, judgement, anger, frustration, sadness, attraction to ‘life drama’, these are all versions of fear. Some people struggle to come to terms with this because they don’t like to conceive of themselves as being fearful - this in itself is fear, fear of facing their truth. Fear can paralyse you if it is left unchecked because it can create doubt and when you doubt yourself it’s like you trip yourself up on your own path to success. The truth is no one is better at preventing you from reaching your success than you; so the question is how can you start taking your power back from fear?How To Start Re-Programming Your Negative Beliefs.The ultimate path to success is making the decision to start re-programming your negative beliefs, this is the most punchy approach to fearlessness and it requires real self commitment. To start with it’s important to understand that all fear-based beliefs have started as a thought - they became beliefs through sheer repetition. Most commonly these beliefs come from an experience we had as a youngster that at the time we didn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with, so we took what we were told or learned from a challenging experience and made it our personal truth. For example I had an art teacher who told me when I was 13 years old that I never finished things, this became a core belief of mine for decades. I would avoid committing to anything as I subconsciously thought I couldn’t stick to it and I remember frequently thinking - “I can’t do that because I never finish things” and I was ashamed and fearful of letting people down. It was only when I reprogrammed that belief with the statement - “I can accomplish anything I put my mind to”, that I started to make real beneficial changes in my life. Identify your belief patternsSo firstly you need to identify your current belief patterns, you can do this by becoming aware of what you tell other people about yourself. You would be amazed at how people describe themselves unconsciously. Pay attention to how you respond when you’re talking to friends. Do you rattle off a list of limiting beliefs? Ie: “I think I’ll be single for life” or “I always get overlooked for promotion”. If you find you are telling a story you don’t want to ‘own’ anymore think about how you can rewrite it and when you have re written your belief in a way that supports you, make it your personal mantra that you say to yourself as often as possible. Make sure you to do it from the present tense - ie “I find love easily”, or “I always get promoted”, this is powerful from a manifestation perspective as you only ever attract what you are already feeling. Observe Your Resistance But Don’t Give Into It.I know, it can be challenging to start with, I can hear the resistance now, “But how can I tell myself I find love easily when I’m single?!”. Yes, this work may initially cause a strong negative emotional reaction and this is understandable - think how long you’ve been telling yourself your negative stories! But that does not mean it has to fail. Think of it like this, if you’re looking after a child (your mind) and they are used to eating ice cream for breakfast (negative thinking) and you start giving them museli (empowering thinking) they are going to act out to start with, but if you keep serving it up every single time they will eventually give in and come to expect and even enjoy it! The most challenging time can be when you’re tired, when you feel yourself slipping into old habits, switch into self care mode. Go gently with this process it can be challenging especially in the face of years of resistant beliefs and thinking, you may need to get some support with particularly destructive patterns around self worth. If this is the case I advise you to reach out to a Councillor, Therapist or Healer, there is nothing more valuable to you and your future than empowering thought behaviours. If you would like to work with me I would be happy to support you, you can reach me at hello@kaywilson.love for a free consult. You Are In ControlThe one biggest take away I want to share with you is the fact that you are in control of your mind! And your mind is the key to your success, you do not have to be a victim to your self doubt any longer, the question is: Are you willing to change yourself in order to transform your future? Free yourself from self-doubt and start creating your pathway to success today. Much love and abundance, Kay x        

Are you feeling frustrated because you don’t feel you have an identity? Have you been bumbling through a variety of careers throughout your life and never felt fulfilled? You are not alone. One of the most common questions I get is ‘How do I figure out my identity?’We live in a culture that is defined by labels We live in a culture that is defined by labels, in which our ‘status’ is defined by what we do, what we own and very rarely who we are. Yet ironically the people our society reveres are those who have simply been themselves, Elvis Presley, Nelson Mandela, Winston Churchill, Malcolm X the list goes on…These are people who all have one thing in common, they did what they felt was right for them no matter their circumstances. Whether it was Elvis’s desire to move his body in a way that scandalised his era, or Nelson Mandela’s courage to speak what he felt was the truth in spite of putting himself in great jeopardy, fundamentally each of these people backed themselves and this is what we honour them for. Why is ‘being yourself’ so hard? The strangeness in this is that one would think that to ‘be yourself’ would be the most natural expectation of any human. And yet I believe we revere these people because we subconsciously recognise as a collective how challenging it is to ‘be yourself’ in a society that largely breeds and educates us to ‘fit in’. A lot of us come from families that have long hereditary beliefs in unworthiness, where children are quickly taught to keep their passions as hobbies or to limit their dreams according to the demographic they belong to. Our core beliefs are based on these generational hand me downs and quickly become the driver for a lot of our behaviours and thought patterns. The only time we ask ourselves "Who am I?” In addition our ability to express ourselves and our honest opinions are effected by our belief that we need to be validated by those around us, our desires driven and shaped by social media and commercialism. Our ability to even know what it is we like to do can be infested with self-doubt or even shame because we don’t already know. To the point that the inevitable question: “Who am I?” is really only ever able to come to the surface when we are drunk, high or depressed and we have the capacity or the desperateness to ask after our own truth. Go easy on yourself My point here is go easy on yourself, it isn’t your ‘fault’ that you don’t know who you are. We have so much stuffing knocked out of us by our cultural conditioning: How we should look and behave, who we should be friends with and date, what we should own and do, that it is no small wonder that when or if we get to the point where we ask ourselves, “Is this it? Is this all there is to life? Is this role as Parent/Employee/Business Owner/Carer all that I was born to be?” You’re so much more thank you give yourself credit for. So when clients come to me worried because they feel lost and in search of their identity I explain to them that what they have actually lost is their sense of themselves. Their ‘identity’ has never existed, they may have adopted a label for a while but they were never truly defined by it no matter how much they had convinced themselves they were. You as an individual are a rich pattern of character traits, ideals and desires, you are a highly intricate entity and no single label could ever sum you up, nor should you want it to. You are magnificent in all of your complexity why would you want to slap a mere ‘role’ onto yourself? Purpose, not identity is the key I know, this may be an upsetting perspective to some people, “I just want to know what I am here for Kay! If I knew who I was I would know what to do!!” I get it, I used to be one of those people, so I understand the desire to find your purpose in life, but this is very different to your identity. And lets face it the only reason you wish to find your identity is because you believe it will help you find inner peace and happiness. This is understandable, but the way you’re going about it is going to be painful and non-productive if you chase your ‘identity’. By doing this you will be chasing your tail, as you as an individual are a constantly changing state, no label will ever define you, nor should you want it to. So how do you find a sense of purpose? So how do you find a sense of purpose?  How can you arrive at a place where you wake up every day and love what you do and feel great peace from doing it? Well in order to help you get there we firstly need to understand you and what makes you tick. Ask a Friend To start this process we need to examine how you respond to the world, how you choose to act within it. By this I mean: are you kind, generous and easygoing? Or are you irritable, impatient and fearful? Or perhaps you’re a mix of both? By starting to become familiar with who you are we will start to unravel what it is that enables you from a character perspective. This helps us understand your strengths and perhaps what you would consider weaknesses, not to judge them but to be aware of your soft spots that you might need to acknowledge, perhaps work on, or get support with. The best way to start this process is to either ask a best friend or family member to write a list of characteristics they would use to describe you, or write the list you believe they would write. This might be confronting but it will give you a good starting point to understanding who you currently are a bit better, this is a necessary foundation, whatever you choose to do in the future will be helped if you are characteristically aligned with it. For example you might find launching your own B&B a bit challenging if you don’t like talking to people, but working on improving your confidence could help you with this.   What do you do in your spare time? Secondly think about what you do in your spare time, what do you do when you have no other demands on you? Yes you might read a book or watch TV but what kind of books or shows are you attracted to and why? Do you watch renovation or cooking shows all the time? What are your hobbies? This might seem trivial but in actual fact these are the pointers we need to follow to remember who we were before conditioning and experience made you hide it all away. Who inspires you? Next lets look at who inspires you, the traits these people display are ones that you find attractive which means they have traits you would like to demonstrate more of.   Who do you surround yourself with? The people you surround yourself with have the biggest influence over you and therefore over your ability to thrive. So look at the people you surround yourself with, do they lift you up and support you? Do they reflect the qualities of the people you admire and aspire to be? If not, consider branching out, join new groups or go to new events where you might meet people who have similar interests, not only will this further inspire you, it will also help you get a better understanding of what you like and what you don’t like which is the overall objective! The most powerful question The most powerful question you can ask yourself when trying to find your purpose is this: What would you do for free? The reason this question is so helpful is because it will really help you narrow down your hobbies and past times to your passion and passion is the key to freedom. As the expression goes “ If you love what you do you will never work a day in your life.”  The only obstacle So now you should have an idea of your passion, perhaps a new group of friends and activities, a deeper understanding of who you are and what makes you happy. You may even have a clear and definitive idea of what your purpose might be, maybe you are now busy enjoying the process of exploring it for yourself, or maybe you’ve hit pause. Perhaps whatever you are left with may still not seem plausible to you as a career option or purpose in life. And this might be because of the last obstacle, the thing that can get in a lot of peoples way….self doubt. This is why knowing yourself is the key This is why knowing yourself is the key, because when you really know who you are, you can start to trust yourself and self trust will always overcome self doubt. Developing self trust is a process that will organically start to happen by following the above steps, if these steps seem beyond you the likelihood is you carry beliefs from prior experiences that are undermining you. If this is the case I recommend you get support from a councillor, healer or coach like myself. Whoever you are drawn to will have the answers you need, trust your intuition. You were born believing you were worthy You were born believing you were worthy of all the happiness and joy in the world and you could do anything you chose. It is only the people around you and the experiences you have had that may have taught you differently. The good news is you can unlearn these things and start to embrace the magic that sits within you, you just have to want to look for it! I wish you all the best with it bold adventurer, a life of passion is a life well lived. Kay x                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

Manifesting has recently become a craze, everyone wants to know how they can become a Master Manifester, so they can manifest their dream job, their international fame, their longed for figure, or their soulmate. The concept of manifesting has become revered, it’s as if only the super spiritual, clever or lucky can do it. But the truth is we are ALL constantly manifesting and we do it All. The. Time. Every moment of everyday you are experiencing the product of your thoughts and beliefs.  You’re a pro at manifesting already So the good news is you’re already an absolute pro at manifesting! But then there is the inevitable cry: “But why would I manifest my empty bank account, my miserable relationship or my overweight self…” Now this is a question of conditioning – which has nothing and EVERYTHING to do with manifesting.  How the Law Of Attraction Works You see the Law of Attraction, which is the foundation of manifesting, is simple: You attract what you already FEEL. So ask yourself, what do you feel when you wake up in the morning for example? Are you filled with a sense of joy? Do you relish the prospect of a new day with a sense of inevitable happiness and success? If so, you are probably already in a state of joy and pleasant manifestation as you are attracting exactly what you are feeling. However if you wake up each day with an impending sense of doom because you’ve been conditioned by your experiences to develop a need to survive, then the likelihood is that your day will bring you challenging situations that mirror that expectation.  How conditioning gets in the way We are conditioned through our culture and upbringing to focus on what we have done wrong, to spend the majority of our time coming up with ways to ‘fix’ our problems. And because our entire focus is absorbed in our ‘problem’, we attract more of the issues that cause them, because wherever we place our focus our energy follows and whatever we send our energy to thrives. So if your problems are your focus that is your point of attraction, or manifestation. So the real question is: How do we change our conditioning? How conditioning happens Conditioning is based on our sub conscious core beliefs, which are caused by experiences we had when we were young. These experiences created emotional reactions and thoughts that over time we’ve repeated and repeated to ourselves, and in the process they have become our core beliefs. Because a belief is simply a thought we’ve had on replay until it’s become immersed in our subconscious. You have control So there are two ways of looking at this – joy at the realisation that you have control over your thoughts and therefore your experience, or despair as you doubt your ability to change your conditioned thoughts and beliefs in order to attract what you want.  Release and Re-record To start this process we need to do two things – Release our resistant conditioning and Re-record our beliefs. Louise Hay has a wonderful approach to this, the first question she asks is “Are you willing to change?” This is such a vital question, if you have become very conditioned in your thinking, mistrustful of yourself, your beliefs and your abilities, this can be a challenging question as you will have a lot of resistant energy, also known as doubt and fear.  How to Release It is this that paralyses you mentally and emotionally and this is where we need to start, beginning with the phrase: “I am willing to release all my resistance”, repeating this ten times to yourself in front of the mirror can be confronting but it is a really powerful way to start this process. You can also use it every time you say something positive about yourself and feel resistance, fear or doubt rise within you. Now start Re-recording Now we want to start the process of overlaying prior negative repetitive thinking with positive, supportive statements. We want to start with: “I approve of myself” and you want to repeat this between 4-500 times a day – sounds a lot? Think about how often you replay a problem in your mind; it’s at least that often, this is how we start to re-write your patterned beliefs. For a lot of people this can be really challenging as there is so much doubt around this statement, this is where your resistance energy has built up over time and it is why you find it challenging to manifest the positive in your life. But this is why I recommend you use the “willing to release” statement in tandem with it to support your movement toward the positive while at the same time releasing your resistance to it. Go gently. The key is to be patient with yourself, don’t scold yourself when you catch yourself thinking negatively instead simply state your willingness to release your resistance and remind yourself that you approve of yourself. Stick to this process for a month and observe the difference in how you feel and see what happens around you. Moving old patterns can be like shaking a glass of water with sand at the bottom of it, the water can turn murky as you shake up old beliefs and fears. So don’t be surprised if you feel a bit worse before you get better, this is very normal when you release old energy. But stay committed and take each day as it comes firmly sticking to your willingness to release and your mantra of “I approve of myself”. Need some help? Each of us is different, for some of you this might be all you need to start seeing the changes in your life, for others you may feel overwhelmed by the resistance energy you experience and trapped in your subconscious patterns. If this is the case please feel free to reach out, I specialize in helping people around the world identify their patterns and start the process of release and re-recording. I would love to support you in anyway I can. Happy Manifesting Soul Family, Kay x

Loneliness is something that affects all of us at different stages in our lives. It's often attributed to not having anyone around us physically, yet the reality is we can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. We can be in a relationship with a partner yet still feel lonely as we feel that we don't connect emotionally with them. This tells us it's not just a physical experience it's a mental and emotional one too. This podcast shares insights around how you can start to work with your sense of loneliness differently and a guided meditation designed to help you start that journey. If you would like some personal support with this please get in touch: hello@kaywilson.love Sending lots of loving vibes your way! Kay x

Chakra Alignment Meditation

What does success mean to you? A highly paid job with international travel? A beautiful home that overlooks the sea? A loving relationship with your soulmate? Or maybe it’s all of the above..Why do you want all those things?Have you ever asked yourself why you want these things? What the driving motivation is behind all of these desires? Most of the time it’s happiness, happiness is a natural built-in desire, and in the world we live in the concept of happiness is closely tied to ownership, money and power, hence our desire for wealth and material things. So what is in the way of your success?No matter what your dream of success looks like your ability to realize it is far more improved if you are able to approach life without being intimidated by fear. This is because fear creates doubt, and when you doubt yourself it’s like you trip yourself up on your own path to success. No one is better at preventing you from reaching your success than you. Get in flow and become empowered.Be like water - Water is nature’s example of how to overcome life’s obstacles. You can pour acid, or perfume into water and it will absorb both equally and keep flowing and expanding through them. What if you could treat your problems the same way? For example; if your boss criticizes your work, instead of getting upset and defensive, thank them and ask for their input into how you can improve and GROW. Or maybe your partner or flatmate is really untidy but instead of getting angry you see it as an opportunity to improve your patience or, stand your ground as you ask them to be more considerate. Essentially treat difficult situations with an expansive approach, so you ‘flow’ around them, they no longer stop you in your tracks but become a helpful platform from which you grow and adapt. Stretch Your Comfort ZoneFear is often caused by the unknown and the reason it’s scary is because it’s out of our control which means we can feel vulnerable or exposed. Our ability to work well with the unknown allows us to branch out and do things that will help us overcome our procrastinations in life and most importantly start to trust ourselves. So why not flex your comfort zone? Try something you haven’t done before, start a new practice perhaps? It can be big or small, from a new lunch place, to mountain climbing, give it a go and give your comfort zone a stretch! Back yourselfSelf-trust is a big factor when it comes to your fear. As children we all have big dreams about what we want in life but at some point our belief in our ability to become those things gets dampened or squashed all together. This is because we no longer believe in or trust ourselves to have what it takes. So how can you start to remember what it felt like to trust yourself?  Challenge yourself to find one choice you made in the past that brought you joy. Do this once a day everyday for a week and see how you start to feel about yourself. The reality is we make thousands of excellent choices for ourselves all day every day but we choose to spend time thinking on those we regret. Flip it! Focus on all the choices YOU make that bring you happiness.  What effect it has when you’re free from fear.When you come from a place of true self-belief and self-validation your source of approval comes from within, which means that it can’t be taken away from you. This is a very powerful place to operate from, without self-doubt you are free from fear. You are empowered; you are strong from the inside out. And the real irony is that when you are empowered your quest for success (happiness) is over as you already have it. This is because you no longer ‘need’ outside goods or people to ‘make’ you happy, you are happy already! And paradoxically far more likely to attract all those shiny material things you wanted, as the job offers, promotions, investors and soul mates will be drawn to your inner strength and authenticity. Be fearless and become the best version of yourself. Much love and abundance, Kay x      

Can’t wait to meet the love of your life? Hate your boss but cant find the perfect job? Let’s face it, it can be frustrating when we really want something and can’t quite seem to get hold of it, so what IS the secret to manifesting what you want in life?Creatures of desireFundamentally we are creatures of desire, constantly sifting through life deciding what we want and what we don’t want and in the process evolving and growing. But isn’t life so blissful when we experience a flash of abundance? When the Universe aligns and we get exactly what we wanted, or something pretty close…so how can we access that magic more often? The Law of AttractionThe mechanics of the Law of Attraction are very simple: You attract more of what you are already feeling, for example if you feel poor you will attract more bills that reinforce that feeling of lack. So the key is to access the FEELING of abundance in order to attract situations that bring more abundance into your life. This can be really challenging when life is feeling difficult, so here are three steps I suggest you try to help you get into the right headspace: 1.       ClarityFirstly be very clear about exactly what it is you want and if you’re not sure, that’s ok, you can enjoy the process of figuring it out! Try making a vision board, this is a collection of images and words that reflect your future dreams and aspirations. You can make one at home with magazines or simply create a few Pinterest boards, maybe one for your personal life, one for work, and one for friends or hobbies? Start with small things and see where they lead you. Also don’t agonize over how you are going to get what you want. When you start focusing on the ‘how’ you create a lot of conditions under which something must come to you, this can energetically cause resistance, so just focus on what you want and enjoy yourself! Dream big. 2.     ResistanceSpend time daydreaming about what it is you desire, if it’s a partner imagine yourself with them doing lots of fun things together. And as you do this sense how you feel about it, are there any fears or anxieties coming up? If so this might be why you’re struggling to manifest them, as this is your energetic resistance getting in the way. This is very normal as unfortunately we are not brought up to expect the best from life but rather feel we have to earn it or survive it. It is this kind of negative belief system that can jeopardise manifestation. So when you detect self doubt or fear - common forms of resistance, try to detach yourself from it, perhaps say to yourself “I recognise this old negative thought pattern, I am ready to let this go now, be gone.” Or perhaps say: “ I acknowledge you, I bless you and I release you, I am ready to move to a higher vibration of love”. Do whatever feels right for you, but try not to get sucked into thoughts that criticise or blame you, if you do you can forgive yourself and switch focus by taking your attention to what is around you in the present moment or take your thoughts to a person, place or memory that brings you ease and joy. Retraining negative thought patterns can take a while but it is possible, just be patient with yourself. 3.      ManifestingAt this stage you want to kick things up a notch, bring the daydreams into your current experience. Start ‘talking’ to your partner to be, before you fall asleep or when you’re on your own at home, have ‘chats’ with them and imagine that they are beside you. If you want more money maybe create a false budget and put in numbers you would like to manifest and enjoy the sensation that seeing them in the spreadsheet gives you, you could even give yourself a weekly dream “allowance” and enjoy mentally spending it. If you want a new job, have pretend conversations with your new colleagues etc..of course it sounds crazy, but I ‘talked’ to my now husband for 6 months before I met him! Discover where you feel abundant and roll around in it.The key is creating good emotional experiences in order that the Law of Attraction brings you more of them. So when you’re not focusing on your specific goals take time to figure out where in your life you already feel abundant. Maybe you are really good at your job and feel very confident and assured in that area, or perhaps you keep yourself very fit and feel physically empowered, or maybe you have a pet or child who’s abundant love you simply adore and enjoy deeply. If so, really take time to relish and enjoy the sense of confidence, joy or ease these sensations bring to you and watch as new opportunities that feel the same way start to come into different areas of your life. You have the power of choice.And finally, always keep in mind that the only person in charge of your thoughts is you. You have complete sovereignty over your state of mind, you just have to choose it. So the good news is you can stop being a victim of fear and doubt the minute you decide you want to and you can start creating your dreams immediately! Trust yourself, get creative and enjoy your new and shiny reality. Happy manifesting! Kay x If you need more help shifting negative thought patterns and would like personal support please get in touch at: hello@kaywilson.love for a free consult.