Martin Kelner and Edouard Lapaglies ALL NEW Piss P

It's the final final final Piss Poor Podcast. That's right pop pickers, if you hanker after those moments waiting in a bus shelter listening to two old geezers wanking on about every little thing on their minds, here's the perfect substitute. It's PPP No. 242, the Christmas Special. You really can't keep a good man down ('I can,' says Edouard LaPaglie), so if you really really really have nothing else to do, listen and marvel at the return of the PPP, by whatever the opposite of popular demand is....

And Now We Face The Final Curtain... ...Just as soon as we get it back from the dry cleaners. Yes, in the words of the great man Frank Sinatra, "Eh, wadda fuck you want, you fuck?" No, in the other words of the great man, we did it our way. Turns out, we should have tried another way. After 241 podcasts, close scientific analysis indicates we were wrong to use the term 'Piss Poor ' ironically. So, in the absence of any new ideas, we're hanging up our catchphrases - both of them - and bringing down the curtain (as soon as we get it ba....no, hang on we've done that) on Britain's least-loved podcast. So join us in the very dregs of the sediment at the bottom of a podcast cup that wasn't all that appetising in the first place. Hear how listening to 20 minutes of Steve "love the big show" Wright prompted Kelner to jack it all in (it was that or suicide), marvel at the Third Reich hit parade, hear why Dora Dale never got to carry the Olympic Torch in London, why you never hear Matt Forde on Talksport these days, and what happened when journalist and traveller Bernard Rush "thumbed his way" down America's East Coast ...all of which leads you to one overwhelming question, "Why am I listening to this?" Well, no more. This is it. The very final Piss Poor Podcast. At a hastily convened press conference to announce the move, no-one bothered to turn up, not even Kelner and Edouard. But if you care enough to read this far, and even more if you're one of those people who've stuck with the PPP over the years, in the vain hope it might get better, thank you for your support. We'll wear it, wash it, and send it back.

With less than 100 days to go before the General Election, Britain mulls over the most important decision the nation has had to make since Tony Blackburn won I'm A Celebrity. To help you make up your mind, Britain's Pissest and Poorest Podcasters help you decide while they kill an hour while waiting for their table to be ready in a nearby restaurant. If you ever thought hungry broadcasters made more entertaining broadcasters here's 1 hour 11 minutes to disabuse you of the nation. But do listen through right to the end, because there's a bit of shite after the sign off that hasn't been edited. And actually there's also an hour and ten minutes of shite before that, as we bring you Confucian wisdom, restaurant reviews, dodgy accents, Max Wall, Frank Sidebottom, Jake Yapp, and a bizarre extemporaneous ('completement extemporaniarse,' dit Edouard) performance from Mik Artistik. Listen and marvel at the gold standard for Piss Poor Podcasting. Never Imitated, Never Bettered. Want hundreds of hours of PPPs? Just inquire, and we won't send you a pen for just inquiring.

It's a piss poor podcast special, hour two of our award-winning pre-recorded, fully-complied post-Christmas show on BBC Radio Leeds... Pointless star Richard Osman, comedy veteran Freddie "Parrot Face" Davis, one-joke "comedy" Frenchman Edouard LaPaglie, and John Shuttleworth join the line-up of light entertainment genius who helped make 60 minutes of broadcasting fly by in around one hour......

It's tighter and brighter than ever before. Now with added editing (perhaps) it's part two of the Piss Poor Podcast: Including:  Wildebeests in phosphorescent trousers! Amazing historic love triangle involving The Krankies and Magnus Magnusson What's inside your knees Exclusive audio from George Clooney wedding! Sir Alex Ferguson caught strumming imaginary banjo! (Please note: some of these items may have disappeared in the exhaustive editing process) What hasn't is: Edouard La Paglie, Dora Dale, chatter about what the chattering classes are chattering about, and Will Buckley's Eton tales. The World Famous PPP - it's the most fun you can have without laughing.....

Taking our lead from William Shakespeare who split one of his shows, Henry lV, into Part One and Part Two, Britain's pissest and poorest podcasters present The Return of the Podcast, Part One. Depending on the response, Part Two will follow swiftly. There's brand new, freshly minted material in Part One - as well as quite a bit of the old shit you know and abhor. Hear Fighting Talk regular and old Etonian Will Buckley on his school days. Edouard Lapaglie offers timely advice against poking your penis into a 3D scanner without first confirming there are no Bluebottles in there. Goggle at Robert Popper's candid 'phone calls. Marvel at brand new Dora Dale, as Dora deals with the Ray Winstone Problem, and tells of the time she piped in Sean Connery's haggis, so to speak. There's all that, and, er, not much more frankly. It's all meat, a real treat, and it's free at the point of delivery!

Including... For those of you enjoying the voice-overs of Caroline Aherne and Craig Cash on Channel 4's Goggle Box, some of their earlier work on Martin Kelner's Late Thing on the BBC... Plus...we tackle the issues worrying mankind in these difficult times, including the inexplicable lack of a knighthood - or at the very least a Sony award - for your genial host's sterling work in trying to surgically implant a sense of humour into BBC local radio, the equine loveliness of chanteuse Francoise Hardy, the joy of meat, and what comes in a sectioned metal dish. And... Enjoy the most tedious anecdote about Edouard LaPaglie's purchase in Tesco of a packet of paper handkerchiefs (go and make a cup of tea..)

They're back! Britain's Piss Poor Podcasters with a special to mark the Chinese Year of the Horse. Gorge yourself on it, and half an hour later you'll want to listen all over again. Including schlongwatch, monkey news, restaurant watch, and more questionable world news than you can shake a stick at - if that's your idea of a good time. All the joy of the Year of the Horse special - and you get a ride home...