No Nipples On The Suit

Episode 19, in which we discuss Guardians of the Galaxy (SPOILERS), the 2 year anniversary of NNOTS! the wretched hotdog burps of Kelly Manna, the two and half hours of previews, why Frances broke her 10 years of not wearing shorts, Rebecca’s confusion over the Star-Lord’s mixed tape, using Orange Julius to delouse a prisoner in space, the emotional tension of Groot saying, “We are Rupert”, Johnny’s confusion about Billy Crystal singing Billy Ocean’s “Caribbean Queen”, our rating of the movie, the White Power of powdered, white Donnettes, and if G.o.t.G. would have made 8 year old Johnny lose his shit like Return of the Jedi made 8 year old Johnny lose his shit. And not that it matter that much but we’re no longer using Roman numerals for the episode count.

Episode XVIII, in which Johnny gets a little a egotistical on the gang, we try to figure out the lyrics to “The Streets of Cairo, of the Poor Little Country Girl,” the placement standards of glory holes, Goonies discrepancies like how did Chunk forget that he had a Baby Ruth in his pocket, the U.S. Presidential Glory Hole, the household ratings for a couples’ wedding video, “Mookie” Phoenix, the glory of children’s sci-fi movies of the 1980s, Frances grabbing her wine in times of danger, Chuck E. Cheese’s venturing into adult parties with Charles Cheese, starting a band inspired by the Chuck E. Cheese band, the differences between handkerchiefs, people who don’t know how to properly tickle, and we finally cover our awkward sexual histories. Your host is Johnny Flores and the gang for Episode XVIII consists of Frances Preziosi, Liz Manna, Kelly Mana, and Rebecca Weaver.

Spoiler Alert! Episode XVII, in which we discuss the new X-men theme song written by Frances, and how to gesticulate like a X-men, how X-men don’t age, when actors become magicians like David Blain and David Copperfield, Kelly’s past as a performer in Thunder Down Under, Mystique’s natural hair, why there isn’t a Ms. Skin, Johnny’s confusion between Starship Troopers and Super Troopers, Harry Potter and the Trip to Hedonism II, making cricket sounds with the human body, a Civil War pregnancy legend, the cheese-to-chip ratio of movie theater nachos, the strategy behind fanny packs, Skeet, the newest X-men, and Johnny’s Star Search star rating.

This is our “long lost” episode that we recorded in October of 2013. We did it with a Snowball microphone and the audio quality isn’t quite as good as our other episodes. We hope you enjoy it just the same and thank you for listening. Episode XIII, in which we discuss with our newest podcast guest, Rebecca Weaver, the Weaver Swedish history, the joy of picking your toys from catalogues, the dullness of the Official No Nipples On The Suit hatchet, Smitty Jangles, the unknown New Kids On The Block member, spending $100 on a some Oldies tapes, how chubby 80s rockers would yell, “Mmmmm-bush!”, the Japanese surname Suckmeharder, Crash vs. Accident, our one-time new ongoing segment called Sister to Sister, Amazing Stories, the foreign films of Brad Bird, recording Star Trek: The Next Generation for cops, wood shop comic book boxes, Stinky Stanek, the asshole move of making a high school teacher cry, Red Head Fury, telling a blind teacher with the name of Mr. Scoliosis to fuck off, the unpublished novel called Night Thang, “Snarting”, Liz’s love of Patch Adams and her misunderstanding of making Lightsaber sounds.

Episode XVI, in which we discuss Frances and Liz’s Sailer Moon days, Captain America’s alleged cherry popper, the similarities between Jem and The Holograms and Zack Attack, Karate kicking your farts out, the difference between men and women’s attitudes toward farts, upper lip sweat beads, why a hacki-sack playing stoners can’t get into relationships, when you should have a beard and when you should be clean shaven, and the movie scenes with the best pissing scenes.

Episode XV, in which we discuss horrible Walken and Travolta impersonations, we greet our newest member, Frances, our missing producer Isaac, Blockbuster’s encased VCRs, How We Hate You, the KK… K and the dating website oKKKcupid, trying to get on Reading Rainbow, a shitty dance routine for Star Search, looking like Vanilli Banilli (who may or may not have anything to do with Milli Vanilli) by wearing mops, our favorite things of the previous year, being sexually aroused by GTA V, The Last of Us, the constant crying of Beyond: Two Souls, the credibility of Yahoo (Serious), the intimacy of Her, 2 liter bottle Robocop, Frances fishing for Clinique gifts, the odds of right-wing, homophobic vegetarians, and Kelly screwing up his own catch phrase.

Episode XIV, in which we discuss Radioshack’s rush, Isaac’s Goofuses and Gallants of the front yard, Captain Planet’s role in the Marvel Universe, why water would make you never bathe again, the Dark Knight’s fishing trip, and, well, old-school hand held games.

Episode XII, in which we discuss the zen of farting and how that’s like a woman’s orgasm, Isaac’s weird attachment to Keurig coffee and the effects of it on his brain, how to use a podcast to cause estrangements with your family, all-creepy vs. half-creepy, how to seduce someone in sexy overalls, The Overalls Pub Crawl (copyrighted by NNOTS), Robocop’s pizza dough face, working in a vibrator factory as a child, Ethan Hawke and Meg Ryan’s affair, and the Kirk Cameron Sexy Freak Club. What flavor of Keurig coffee do you think Isaac was drinking?

Episode XI, in which we discuss celebrate the anniversary of No Nipple On The Suit! We discuss the genius of Dave Coulier, who ruined the world of Elysium, flipping the bird before you blow someone up, how Johnny loses his Nerd card, how we fell in love with the South African accent, Charles Nelson Reilly’s surprise roll in Elysium, ask what you call air space in space, the number of Sean Connery impersonations, the wonders of Denise Richards, the awesomeness of Dire Straits, the CGI of Mask (Eric Stoltz), how Liz’s dad was the angry black Sheriff of Soda Springs, Isaac’s own Butterfly Effect, and how to use intestines to “lapel”, not rappel.

Episode X, in which we discuss the CGI thunder thighs of Mako Mori, the cost effectiveness of filming CGI during the day, the voice of Johnny’s inner dialogue, Private Thighs by Hall and Oates, “Tubby” Maguire, the ass smell of the Regal Natomas theater, Shrap-metal vs. Shrapnel, and the benefits of out and out racists.

Episode IX, in which we have the return of Kyle and his Jihad on Nerd Infidels. We also discuss the Man of Steel, the cat-attacking abilities of Nuclear Man, accidentally learned how to cheat Redbox, how Liz thinks we’re watching Superman, not Man of Steel, how Man of Steel borrows from a lot of other sci-fi movies, Superman’s love of Soundgarden, Superman’s ability to climb a corporate ladder, the ruination of a Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity and Kelly’s beef with IHOP, how to avoid kinking your super-neck, Isaac’s obsession with infant genitalia, the Titanic’s tractor-beam, Superman’s poop kinking the works, why Lara wasn’t able to record a video, Kryptonian suffragists, what Seinfeld thought about Man of Steel, and Big Bird’s gigantism.

Episode VIII, in which we discuss Star Trek Into Darkness, Spock’s bad “KHAAAAAAAAAAAN”, Century Stadium’s rat pit, confusion over Wolf 359, Muslim Slater, snoring like Huey, Dewey, and Louie, snorting Super Blood, Blood Hot Pocket sleeves, and Backdraft 2: Sexual Arsonist.

Episode VII, in which we discuss the Walking Dead (without Isaac), Carl’s imminent banging, zombie wind socks, Element Z, zombie bridges, Whips getting smashed by a car and coming back like Eddie Murphy in Trading Places, the Mandarin singing Father Figure,  British pooping and American chests, Star Trek TV vs Stark Movies, Poonhound Kirk, Liz learning about “chiseling it”, Alyssa Milano’s sweater, Jedi workouts, a certain someone’s patronus, Leia’s coke nail and Jabba’s coke nostrils.

Episode VI, in which we, and by we, I mean Liz, discuss Tom Cruise’s off-center midline, Top Gun, pilot hard-ons, Gabriel’s drumstick ring, why Tony Scott committed suicide, shitty lyrics, getting over Goose’s death 3 minutes after it happened, keeping dog tags instead of giving them to the grieving widow and son, gross make-out sessions, Meg Ryan’s cock blocking, how much sweating goes in a Naval ship, and our “call” signs.

Episode V, the first podcast of 2013, in which we discuss the time travel problems of Looper, how the kid from Looper got the job, question if Django’s dick is real, why Picard would go back in time and choose to return to the worst possible moment, Dalton playing QB, the blinking lights of Data, boot knives, and the power of telling your friends.

Episode IV, folks, in which we discuss… everything.

Here it is, Episode III, in which we discuss the gloriousness of 80’s flicks like Iron Eagles, Predator, Rad, and Gleaming the Cube. We also discuss butts touching butts, Cobra’s match, Communism in The Last Unicorn, Johnny’s childhood love of the Dice-man, Uncle Becky Katsopolis, and the rising star, Frankie McDoogle. Don’t forget to like us on The Facebook. If you have any topics you’d like us to discuss, shoot us an email or let us know on The Facebook. Our guests are Kelly and Allison.

Welcome back for Episode II of No Nipples On The Suit. Topics discussed in this episode? Our intention was to discuss the Nolan Batman Trilogy but we also covered topics such as Eliminators, Gymkata, the death of Boner, and other delightful topics. Kelly also figures out why Batman is the Charles Manson of comics. Thanks for listening! Your Nipple host is Johnny, producer is Isaac, and our guests are Kyle, Liz, and Kelly.

Here’s the first episode of No Nipples On The Suit in which we discuss what nerdy endeavors are too nerdy for us to be involved with. We also discuss taking time to make sure you aren’t run over by Doc Brown and Marty while crossing the street, Klingons who might like Ruffles, and the Borg at Renaissance Festivals. Your host is Johnny Flores, the producer is Isaac Gonzalez, and our guests our Kelly, Liz, Gabriel, and Emily.