Orthodixie

Fr. Joseph tells of his recent visit to a psychiatrist and his annual struggle with The Guess Who.

Fr. Joseph recounts holding Easter colored chicks... holding a BB gun, his eye on a sparrow... and later, standing outside in the rain wearing a ball cap, oven mitts and holding a napkin-covered lacrosse stick, chanting, "Here birdie, birdie, birdie." Yes, this week's podcast is for the birds.

Fr. Joseph tackles the subject of "place" -- where we come from and where we're headed.  Your departed mom, your dad, sister, brother or spouse:  they are on that mysterious journey.  It’s only a better place if Love is there … let’s pray that includes all of us.

Fr. Joseph encounters Bible floppers, hip-hoppers, and mountain toppers in his quest to discover ... What It Takes.

Fr. Joseph reports on this year’s Lenten Superlative Awards Banquet at St. Kismet in Gethsemane Falls. Last year’s gala saw a total of 13 awards being presented to the best and worst participants in the Great Fast.  This year's big celeb is, ahem, a no brainer!

So tell us, Father Joseph—just how did the Resurrection of our Lord get mixed up with bunnies, chocolate, and eggs?

Fr. Joseph's way of saying, "Pardon me while I slip into something a little more... serious."

Letters have been pouring into the Orthodixie headquarters over the past week, many of them dealing with what can only be said and not written.  You’ve all no doubt heard it, it is pronounced ******** (or EIEIO).  Fr Joseph tries to allay fears [of EIEIO] while assuring us that "this, too, shall pass."

Fr Joseph quotes Chicago, Kevorkian, Ben Franklin, St Paul and Hallmark in making a case for April Fools.

Much like the pains of labor endured by a mother bearing a child, sometimes our journey back to healing is a painful one. And yet, the joy that comes with the new birth is far greater -- inexplicably greater -- than that which our cold heart endured. In the meantime, we must begin where we are.

Fr Joseph, struggling toward humility in the first week of the Fast, tells of his first visit to Fasters Anonymous... and their curious theme song.

Fr Joseph reveals one of his Lenten pet peeves: “Do the best you can.” Do the best you can? Now brothers and sisters, that’s a recipe for failure. Heck, sinner that I am, the best I can is what has got me to where I am! We don’t give an inexperienced bunch of players a ball – with no practice whatsoever – and say, “Okay, it’s game time. Do the best you can.” No. We practice and practice and practice. We fall down, get back up; struggle to do better.

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourself, it’s almost that time; time to cue your favorite theme song for the upcoming Lenten Fast! Perhaps the theme song from Star Wars? Or maybe we could sing a fasting song, during this election year, to the tune of "Hail to the Chief?" Then again, there’s always the Beverly Hillbillies ...

This week, Fr Joseph gets real: "The thing about Confession is that it is natural. That is, it is Real. Almost everything else we do with our sin is false and unnatural. We punish ourselves, justify our actions, and hide. Yet, in Confession -- in opening ourselves to God the Light -- we expose the hypocrisy of our double life. In truth, we've been living a lie. Without Confession, Absolution, and Reconciliation we live a lie before God and Man as if it were Reality. In reality, no one is fooled -- not our neighbor, not ourselves. And, let's be real, certainly not God."

This week's podcast is taken from the book, "One Flew Over the Onion Dome" – any similarities to your own parish, bishop or jurisdiction is purely intentional. Orthodoxy not available in all states. In your area, it may only be available in a foreign language – in which case, your mileage may vary …

Fr Joseph reviews the rules of life, particularly Murphy's Law and its variants, and and then provides us with a rule we can all live with.

Fr Joseph, with help from Fr Thomas Hopko and Elder Porphyrios, delves into the malady known as Nojoyatall.

No matter what you call your grandparents, go to Church Camp, write home, and beware the Mama Eater.

A brief history of the coffee hour, with some suggestions about how best to use the time as you sip your morning brew!

The Theophany and House Blessings. What happens in the service, in our homes, and in our lives.