Poor Man's Process

WE’RE BACK! One off special episode time! This week we’re back from oblivion with not only a special episode for you, but a special guest as well. Joined by Captain Nostalgia from the Victims and Villains podcast (https://www.victimsandvillains.net/) the boys from Poor Man’s Process (minus Dan, because he’s in Oklahoma again) talk about Doomsday Clock, the DC Comics “crossover event” featuring the characters you know and love from The Watchmen. Also make sure you check out that link to Victims and Villains for our feature on his show, also talking about the Doomsday Clock Crossover. Banana.

Welcome back newcomers and old friends alike to the new version of the beloved podcast, ‘Poor Man’s Process’. We wanted to do an early episode because we miss you all so darn much, and we wanted to catch you up on the details of our re-launch! So, strap in and prepare for that Supraliminal brand of aural pleasure! Enjoy!

No, we’re not remaking the movie “This Is The End” this week. We’re ending the podcast. 251 weeks, 250 episode releases. As with all things it’s time to move on to other endeavors. BUT! We’ll soon be back with a new and revamped podcast, so look out for that in the near future. In this episode we go down the rabbit hole of new content, I cry a lot, and we give a proper Viking Funeral to a truly fantastic 5 years of podcast related content. And sometimes, you just want to do Darth Vader’s theme when you open a podcast.

This is almost it, folks. This is the one before the one. The last one before the last one. This is the final episode of Poor Man’s Process before the final episode of Poor Man’s Process. So what did we do? We did what we did in Episode 99. We sat down and talked about every episode we’ve recorded since September of 2014, and man, did we forget a bunch of them. So sit back, settle in because this is a long one, and come with us on a journey through the last 3 years of podcasting. Also, we intro the podcast with a somewhat lengthy discussion about Magic the Gathering, so if that kinda thing isn’t your bag, I’m sorry in advance.

It’s Dan’s turn to come up and talk about remaking his favorite movie. This was a tough one because Jayrod had already done a Star Wars movie and on any given day, Dan’s actual favorite could be any number of things. Because of this, he decided on Clerks because it’s the film that inspired him to become the content creator he is today. Overweight guy from New Jersey makes a movie about his friends? I can DO that! I’ve DONE that!

Paul is up on the docket today, as he takes us through how he would remake Die Hard within the Poor Man’s Process formula. We talk about the differences between Die Hard the movie and Nothing Lasts Forever, the book that Die Hard was based on. So take a journey into Nakatomi Plaza with us, in this, the 4th to last episode of Poor Man’s Process ever.

This is our second episode wherein we remake our favorite movies. Max loves Ghostbusters, he’s loved it since childhood. Max doesn’t like too many things and it’s kinda sad that he got a remake of his favorite film and just didn’t like it at all. Through this episode, Max is trying to both come to grips with the remake he got, and conceptualize a remake that wouldn’t suck.

It’s almost over, kids. It’s almost over. Poor Man’s Process is coming to a close, because after almost 250 episodes it’s time to bring this chapter of podcasting to a close. We’ve got this episode and then 5 more, and then we’ll be back with a new and different podcast about movie-making. This episode is the start of our last theme run of podcasts, we’re going to remake each of our favorite movies. Jayrod is up first, and he’ll be bringing us The Empire Strikes Back.

EDITOR’S NOTE: This episode faces some technical difficulties and does not sound up to our normal quality standard. We have endeavored to make it the best we can given the circumstances, so we hope you’ll bear with us. Well. We’ve finally done it. We’ve gone so far into this podcast about movies thing that we’ve created an original film concept featuring podcasts at the center. We create a bunch of great podcast ideas in this, so don’t steal them from us, please.

I’d be willing to bet that most people listening to this podcast have never seen the movie we remade in it. Actually, I’d be willing to bet that most people haven’t seen it. Poolhall Junkies is a cult movie from 2002, starring a pre-Smallvile Michael Rosenbaum, and a post-Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, pre-recent reemergence Ernie Reyes Jr., as well as Chazz Palminteri and Christopher Walken. Yes, even with a cast like that you’ve never heard of it. Don’t worry, we’ll guide you through it.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Once again, this episode is plagued by having been recorded on sub-standard equipment. Our apologies continue, but we’ve tried to bring it as close to our normal standard as possible. Someone, and I don’t now remember who it was, asked me when we started down the road of “Nightmare on Elm Street” remakes if we were going to remake the Platinum Dunes remake. I told them at the time, “of course we are” and I didn’t lie. Getting to remake a sad entry into the franchise is all why we did this. #2, and now this one, are the worst movies within the franchise, and in both cases, ours are better.

EDITOR’S NOTE: This Episode suffers a bit because it was recorded on equipment below our usual standard. We hope everyone can still enjoy it. Only one more after this. Only one more in this epic series remake, and then we’re on to other things. We’re tackling Freddy Vs. Jason today, and spend a lot of our time puzzling how a film with so much promise could be so bad. And explaining how we would make it less bad, as is our norm.

A New Nightmare approaches! Well, actually, a remake of “New Nightmare”, and the final entry in the original series remakes that we’re doing. Only two episodes remain now until we’re through the entirety of the Nightmare on Elm Street. We also learn that there is no film currently existing called “Satanic Panic”, of so we thought at the time. Turns out Dan was wrong in research, there is such a film, it came out in 2009.

And one of them is that when someone sings “Cool Jerk”, you must join in. Another is that there is a level of poop and fart jokes that will make Paul become invested in the ongoing success of the podcast. This episode is also our furthest departure from the original Nightmare on Elm Street series because of the changes that we’ve made throughout our remakes up to this point. We also remove probably the dumbest way to defeat Freddy, and greatly improve upon it.

We’re five deep in this journey through the Nightmare on Elm Street remake series and this time we’re moving again slightly further from the source material. As I warned, it’s going to be getting further and further from the originals from here. This time we’ve got a team of orphans fighting a dream world super powerful Freddy who also happens to be one of the orphan children! Also, Paul has made his triumphant return!

Episode 4 is now in the books. Our remake of the Nightmare on Elm Street series presses on into The Dream Master. We’re down Paul this week, but we’ve replaced him with our most frequent guest star, CJ. We have to take some departures from the original work here because of changes and decisions we have made along the process. It’s likely that we’re going to have to keep moving away from the original works as we continue, but we’ll try to keep it as close to the originals as we can.

Oh, Dokken. Fair warning to those who enjoyed Dan and Max arguing about Netflix for 20 minutes last episode, this episode is argument free. It’s also largely Paul free, as he was suffering from some serious headache issues during recording. Also, Jarrod doesn’t remember things from movies he has actually seen. Oh, and we continue remaking Nightmare on Elm Street films, this time, it’s the Dream Warriors.

Things are starting to change within our Nightmare on Elm Street remakes. Yes, already. In the second film. Though mostly that’s because the original Nightmare on Elm Street 2 is actual garbage. Though I can promise that our film will still have weird bondage sub-themes.

Oh boy, guys! This is the start of a super long thing we’re beginning today. We’re going to remake every single Nightmare on Elm Street film. We’ve taken the first film here in this episode, and we’ve already made some changes that are going to echo throughout the next few weeks of telling the overarching story of Freddy Krueger. We’ve also pulled the story forward a bit in time, so that we can have it eventually take place in the present time. So settle in, we’ve got nine episodes coming your way in this series.

Do me a favor. If you haven’t seen Puppetmaster, please do so before listening to this episode, because if you aren’t familiar with what we’ll be talking about, you really should be. I don’t often implore this, but this week’s episode goes some weird places and they don’t seem quite as weird if you’re familiar with Charles Band and his body of work.