Scream Queens

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They're Only Words, and Words Are All I Have, and They Are All Insane.

Trigger Warning  for anyone involved in the Chernobyl disaster or the "The People vs Mickey Mouse" Trial - we're with you, Comrades!

She Died of Ghosts in her Blood, and TB

The ineffectiveness of the answer may surprise you! We're back after a seasonal (read: COVID-19) hiatus and the failed piloting of another cursed format, absolutely and Honestly of our own frEe wilL and not out of fear of any Particular Russian tyrant. This week, after a brief comedic foray into the current geopolitical landscape to try and lighten it the fuck up a bit, we explore the adventures of everyone's favourite not-so-much-a cannibal Robert Maudsley also known as the "Brain Eater" for reasons that completely allude us, and that's not even a little bit of a joke.  So, join us on this journey from his extremely depressing early days, to his not-so-great teen years, to his absolute shit show of an adulthood there has always been one constant: Nuns! Just sayin'.   In these times of potential missile strikes, prudish green M&Ms, and a Minnie Mouse from HR, aren't you glad to have us back all the same? www.instagram.com/screamqueenspodcasting

I Can't Believe It's Not Emotional Support Butter

Does humming the song protect you from copyright infringement laws? We hope so, because we celebrate being the 63rd highest ranking podcast in Ecuador by attempting to hum "Ecuador" by Sash!, which turns out to be pretty much impossible. Further celebrations are called for because in an incredibly rare occurrence this week we talk about what we said we were go to talk about - three cheers for basic planning and follow through! This week we discuss the 2021 film The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It, released earlier this year. Note that they've stopped including the numeration in the title and that's because aside from The Warrens, tonally this film doesn't seem to belong in this universe at all and clearly they've just tagged it on as a way to cash in on the audience of an established franchise.  Based on the real life trial of Arne Cheyenne Johnson (not Jackson), who famously was the first person in US history to use demonic possession as a defense against the charge of murdering his landlord - and who could blame him, amirite ladies? Apparently it was done in England twice before this though, which really makes you wonder. So join us as we take you through the film, all its ridiculousness,  Lorraine's questionable fashion choices, and all Patrick Wilson's handsomeness, in preparation for next week's investigation into the real life case.  Waterbeds - one of the few things not to be afraid of. UNTIL NOW. www.instagram.com/screamqueenspodcasting #WheresMyGazeboPatrick?

Are you a "When She was Bad" Hair, or "Amends" Hair?  Either way, Sarah Michelle Gellar is never allowed cut her hair again.  In keeping with the new format, this week we're following up on last week's episode with the true life story which inspired Scream 4. But of course, this being the Scream franchise, even this murder is extremely meta because it was inspired by the original Scream. So it's very chicken and the egg-y. This week we are discussing the murder of Cassie Jo Stoddart which unfortunately was not committed by a singy-song murder who turned her into a music box. She was a Sagittarius though, so she probably had it coming. Set in a stupid smiling Mormon town which was literally named "Whispering Cliff" as if they weren't expecting fucking horrible things to happen to there. Or maybe Whispering Cliff was a person? We're not sure to be honest. But either way, things play out exactly as you expect - straight out of a horror movie! www.instagram.com/screamqueenspodcasting

Just when you thought it was safe to go back on Spotify! Well surprise Bitch, bet you'd thought you had seen the last of us. Well, that's because we told you it was, but actually did we though? Not officially. We've risen from the dead with Season 2, on our one year Anniversary to be exact (Billy & Stu would approve). It's been a long *checks episode list* six months and we've missed you terribly. You probably didn't notice we were gone, unless you're one of our listeners in Virginia where we're surprisingly popular for some reason, or the Russian bot that's scanning for mentions of their supreme leader. If you're a newbie to the podcast, check out our "Trailer" for Season 2, which is just a "Best of Season 1"  because apparently we don't know what a trailer is. This Season we've decided to blend our love of fictional (mostly) horror with the true life horrors humanity continues to do to each other with episodes comprised of film rewatches alternated with the true crimes they were inspired by/inspired. But if you know what you're in for and for some reason have decided to press on anyway, join us we go back to where it all began, to our namesake (kinda) as we discuss the unsung hero of the Scream franchise: the oft-forgotten and critically under-viewed Scream 4 (2011) which, fun fact, Conor went to see instead of attending a funeral. In anticipation of its long-awaited sequel, we have rewatched, extensively analysed, and discussed the journey of the franchise from a mildly meta iconic horror film, to an overwhelming self-referential metacommentary on the grotesquely overrun remake/reboot Hollywood craze, and SCATHING satire of social media and millennial culture.  We Stan. We can't help but wonder if there are certain "rules" to surviving Season 2 of a podcast, so if any of you know them, please slip into our DMs: www.instagram.com/screamqueenspodcasting

In anticipation of Season 2 of Scream Queens we decided to update our trailer with some of our best bits of Season 1 - because we don't know what a trailer is apparently! We hope you enjoy this something of a recap, timestamps for the episodes  are below. Give us a subscribe, or follow us on Instagram @screamqueenspodcasting 00:00:25 Episode 2 - You're All Going to Die Up There 00:07:08 Episode 3 - God is Good, God is Kool(aid) 00:16:06 Episode 4 - You Stay Here and Run the Website 00:23:43 Episode 5 - Where is My Emotional Support Butter? 00:32:44 Episode 8 - Why Don't You Come Up to My Crypt and Cut Off My Head Sometime? 00:39:51 Episode 11 - I Saw Goody Badwife Dancing With the Devil! 00:47:19 Episode 13 - Soon, Soon, My Little Pink Dahlia 00: 57:01 Episode 14 - There's Lots of Guys to Meat on Grindr 01:06:07 Episode 17 - Forty Whacks With a Wet Noodle 01:13:23 Episode 18 - AHS Season 5 Was Overrated

I Read The Fucking Census, Okay?

Smells Like Teen MURDER!

Easter, Exclusively at Torture PornHub

VLADbible

God Save Our Reptile Queen, Long Live Our Lizard Queen!

H.H. Holmes and his murder hotel. \r\n

Forty Whacks With A Wet Noodle

Sophie has been doing a lot of "dr...awings" lately, and we're all very concerned. \r\nDon't be fooled, this not an intervention for a listener named Sophie! She genuinely is just drawing and for some reason she's going to draw us, but she hasn't yet so maybe she won't, but she really should. \r\n\r\nThis is a special episode because for the first time ever, Dannii thinks this story is a FAKE, which literally never happens because no matter what she says she has definitely handed her wallet over to a "wallet inspector."\r\n\r\nIn this episode we discuss A (possible) HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT (maybe). \r\nThis is the story of Carmen and Al Snedeker who moved their family (including their niece for some reason?) from New York City to Connecticut (gross!) because their son was terminally ill (also gross!) to their new house which seemed perfect until immediately after moving in discover that their basement comes with a fully intact embalming operation (so gross!). In a completely unsurprisingly turn of events, moving into a former funeral home leads to some spectacularly outrageous "haunting" events. But first, we get a nice healthy dose of parental denial of things such as whispering wallpaper, being constantly swarmed by an army of black crows, and overt demonic possession. \r\n\r\nWe also play a dangerous game of "If I Quit, Who Would You Replace Me With?" which means this may be the last ever episode of Scream Queens, at least in its current form, because one of us might be dead. Which by the way would be an even better podcast called "Dannii & Conor (Deceased)"\r\n\r\nSpecial appearance by a story about a girl we know who accidentally turned into a ghost from a low budget horror movie while attempting to change a bedsheet.\r\n\r\nP.S. Turns out we're both right. Trisket is meat, Triscuits are biscuits. \r\nBut Brisket is also meat, but Briscuits are not biscuits. \r\n\r\nI dare you to count how many words in this synopsis begin with the letter "N" and tell Conor he's wrong. \r\n

Stupid Sexy Demon

It’s All For You, Conor. It’s All For You