Search for Schlock

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-160-Demoni2.mp3 Download MP3 Remember when we watched a little Italian horror film by the name of Demoni? I didn't think you would ... but we did ... and now we watch the sequel. I should have put a few question marks at the end of that last sentence. Not because I'm confused as to whether or not we watched it. We watched the hell out of it. Rather I'm still a little confused by what Italian horror film auteurs consider a sequel. Demoni 2 was a little bit sequel, a little bit remake, and a little bit ... homage? Either way, it was full of disgusting zombie/demons killing and killing and melting and killing. Viva Italia! Also, my girlfriend and avid listener of Search for Schlock, Laurie, joins us as our special guest. Yes, she actually wanted to sit in a room with me Andrew and James. She's a keeper. Join us for (horrible cliche Mario sounding Italian accent required when saying the name of this film) ... Demoni Due ! Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-159-ManiacCop.mp3 Download MP3 What do you get when Robert Z'Dar plays a zombie cop come back from the dead to mercilessly kill ... well just about anyone? You get Maniac Cop ... and yes it's pretty much what you think it would be. We had a lot of fun with this one though. It's late 80's thriller-tastic. chock-full of gritty crime-ridden streets with an overlay of creepy music we've come to love from the era. Also lets not forget Z'Dar's jaw ... it is a character in itself. Join us and you too can hear James sing his made up Maniac Cop theme. What more could you ask for? Nothing so don't. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-158-HawkJones.mp3 Download MP3 In 1986, two teenage brothers in the Quad Cities -- inspired by a Bill Cosby Jell-O commercial featuring kids dressed up like grownups (possibly this one?) -- decided to make a gritty action drama with nothing but child actors. The mere fact that they succeeded, and that their fully-realized feature film exists, is incredible. The fact that the movie is actually pretty competent -- we especially love the score, which riffs on Miami Vice -- should have been enough to elevate Hawk Jones to at least cult status. Unfortunately the finished product was lost for years, apparently because distributors had some kind of problem with the premise of a child playing a cop loaded up with machine guns, storming a mansion guarded by other well-armed children. Perhaps because those companies lacked vision, they eventually shuttered, and now Hawk Jones can be enjoyed by all. We give it our highest possible rating: "Probably better than Action Jackson." Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-157-SteelDawn.mp3 Download MP3 Steel Dawn, an early vehicle for Skatetown, USA star Patrick Swayze, is described by Wikipedia as "not to be confused with Dawn Steel." It's so much more than that, though. Swayze plays a wandering swordsman named, of course, Nomad, who finds himself in the plot of Shane, but after the apocalypse. Sure, Nomad would prefer to just do headstands in the desert and meditate, but that peace is taken from him when his mentor is murdered by what appears to be the frontman for an 80s hair metal band. To get his revenge, he'll have to befriend a terrible child actor. We liked the movie at the time...although I have to admit, writing about it now, it's not ringing any bells. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-156-Leviathan.mp3 Download MP3 In 1989 a terrible Alien / Abyss rip-off won the heart of a young yours truly. Don't get me wrong its a pretty terrible film most of the time. It has those rare moments of awesome though. At least that's what I had always thought ... until the day I introduced both Andrew and James. Leviathan! Ok, so Andrew wasn't impressed with this one ... both a small victory and defeat for me. Join us! Also, it's apparently our 7 year anniversary? ... I guess that's something. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-155-KindergartenCop2.mp3 Download MP3 I know what you're thinking: They made a Kindergarten Cop sequel? Sixteen years after the hazily-remembered original, a film that Criterion Collection once pretended they were going to release as an April Fools Day prank? And the answer is yes, I'm afraid so. Starring genius-on-paper Dolph Lundgren, the film follows a cop who has to go undercover as a kindergarten teacher to, I don't know, find some evidence or something. The real aim of the film seems to be for Dolph Lundgren to mug about how lame it is that kids these days are taught liberal garbage like inclusivity and self-respect, so that we the audience can nod our heads and, I assume, harbor an intense loathing of transgendered people. However, since the film is, at times, unintentionally hilarious, at least one of us rated it "a thousand thumbs up". Take that as you will. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-154-PrayerOfTheRollerboys.mp3 Download MP3 In a dystopian future, Dream a Little Dream 2 star Corey Haim infiltrates a cadre of trenchcoat-wearing rollerblade enthusiasts / drug kingpins with a secret plan to sterilize their customers. His only ally is undercover cop and Nightmare on Elm Street 3 star Patricia Arquette, whose costumes only get more ridiculous as the tensions ramp up. Perhaps more importantly, we open a pack of Growing Pains trading cards from 1988 and describe each card in painstaking detail, and Chris samples the included more-than-three-decades-old stick of chewing gum. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-153-GingerdeadMan.mp3 Download MP3 It's always hard to pass up late-period Gary Busey, but when you pair him with director Charles Band, well, we can't say 'no' to that. Here, Band and Busey take us on a cinematic journey that Wikipedia very, very generously describes as "75 minutes." Maybe they were watching the Director's Cut, because the version we saw was one thin hour. Not that we're complaining. A movie's length is the inverse of the quality it needs to be for us to be entertained -- you know this, we've discussed this. By that measure, Gingerdead Man delivers. If all it gave to us was the phrase "Miss Prettyface of Waco", then it still would be an instant classic that we will remember forever. But listener, it gave us so much more. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-152-Polyester.mp3 Download MP3 Andrew learns a harsh lesson when he tries to share his love of Jon Waters with Chris and James. That's the pull quote on this one. I, being Andrew, think Jon Waters is a unique voice in cinema whose love of camp, 1950s aesthetics, and his own bizarre friends group makes his whole body of work, if not always stellar, at least always worth watching. I'm don't want to spoil Chris and James's reaction, but let's say they don't see it that way. We always take great pains to view movies the way that the filmmakers intended for them to be seen, so we'll be watching this one in full Odorama (a scratch-and-sniff card comes with the DVD). Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-151-SatansCheerleaders.mp3 Download MP3 Now, this is what this podcast is for! Bad 70's exploitation film filled with comedy, nudity, cheerleaders ... and Satan! I'm not sure what else there is to tease about this one. Needless to say we loved it. I highly recommend finding this little gem if you can. Watch it with a group of friends ... never alone ... and preferably high. I know I did. Satan's Cheerleaders! Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-150-AmazingBulk.mp3 Download MP3 To be honest I feel a little bad about this one. It just shouldn't have been on the podcast. I'm not sure I would call this a movie. Not unless you count a something your 14 year old cousin made with the help of his parents and a freeware editing suite. Andrew liked it I guess ... me and James we'rent too pleased. Oh well, another episode we spend arguing over the merits of utter crap. Join us! Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-149-IComeInPeace.mp3 Download MP3 In this weeks episode, we tackle the tough question of who would win in a fight between a weird alien with a magnetic disc weapon and Dolph Lundgren. The problem is the answer is always Dolph Lundgren ... sorry to get your hopes up. To be honest this flick wasn't half bad in a cheesy 90's straight to video sort of way. Watch if you're in the mood to see explosions and a Swedish man kick some alien ass. Listen to the podcast if you want to hear us make fun of it ... or both ... doowutchyalike. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-148-FoodOfTheGods.mp3 Download MP3 Lending credence to the auteur theory, director Bert I. Gordon makes yet another film in which things that are not supposed to be large at all become very large indeed, through science. The funny thing about getting attacked by giant rats while you're in a car, is that from some angles it really looks more like someone stuck a tiny bit of cheese inside a plastic toy car and unleashed a bunch of adorable domesticated rats on it. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-147-WrongGuys.mp3 Download MP3 Andrew's lovely wife Julia subs in to help Chris and Andrew evaluate The Wrong Guys, an unremembered 80s comedy about middle-aged former Cub Scouts (Louie Anderson, Richard Lewis, Richard Belzer, and some even more obscure people) who reunite for one last camping trip, only to be hunted by escaped convict John Goodman. If your wager in the office betting pool was that John Goodman is the best part of this movie, congratulations! As for the film itself, we hated it, and also give it our strongest recommendation. This is our kind of terrible. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-146-AfterLastSeason.mp3 Download MP3 They say there are only seven basic stories, and all the books and films we enjoy are just variations. Surely, After Last Season is a tale as old as time: two scientists experimenting with a device that can transmit mental images accidentally solve a murder, and then are attacked by a ghost, but actually that was all a dream, but there is a ghost and it is a friendly ghost, and they help it solve its murder. What really leaves a strong impression, though, is the visual effects, which would have been top-of-the-line stuff in the late 1970s, but in 2009 it's closer to what you might be able to make with a free trial version of some particularly cheap software on a computer that's still running Windows 95. It probably took auteur Mark Region quite a while to put it all together, which makes you wonder why the sets appear to just be rooms in an unfurnished apartment with pieces of paper taped to the walls. This movie is cheap, is what I'm saying. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-145-TankGirl.mp3 Download MP3 What do you get when you combine an alt comic with 90's kitchiness and some punk rockin girl power attitude? Well unfortunately in 1995 you get Tank Girl ... A Post-apocalyptic film based on a stylistically amazing comic starring Lori Petty, Ice-T, Naomi Watts and Malcolm McDowell !! ... and Ice-T is some sort of kangaroo?! How could you possibly go wrong? Make it in 1995. Oh how I wish this movie could take a mulligan and we could all collectively witness what it SHOULD have been. Unfortunately, we have this jumbled piece of trash instead. Join us as our old pal Mark stops by to be tortured alongside me ... Andrew liked the film. Our friendship is trying at times. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-144-SamuraiCop.mp3 Download MP3 We've been big fans of improbably-jawed actor Robert Z'Dar at least since we saw him play Russia's greatest warrior in The Final Sanction, which we watched about two and a half years ago. Z'Dar is a prolific film actor, starring in around a half-dozen films a year from the late 80s on, so there are plenty of great works to choose from -- but when it comes to schlock classics, we would have been fools not to select Samurai Cop. Admittedly, Z'Dar isn't the top banana here -- that honor goes to Matt Hannon, a man with beautiful, dark, flowing hair, who -- upon learning that Samurai Cop had achieved cult status, and that fans believed he was probably dead -- revealed himself to be very much alive, and starred in a recent sequel alongside infamous goofball / auteur Tommy Wiseau. But if you're into that kind of tongue-in-cheek garbage, you've come to the wrong podcast! (I haven't seen it, maybe it's fun. You've probably come to the right podcast.) Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-143-AnimeXxmas.mp3 Download MP3 In case you were wondering the answer is no. This is not the episode of Search for Schlock you were promised next. That's because it's Christmas and James wanted to give us the gift of anime. That's right we will eschew our regularly scheduled program to bring you all twelve episodes of Puella Magi Madoka Magica! (Please direct the hate mail we're about to see at James this was his idea.) Look it's the holiday season and we needed a break. We got high, ate a lot of popcorn and watched a bunch of brightly colored magical girls fight witches or monsters who knows what. We'll discuss at length within. I don't even know why you people read these tags anymore ... you know you're going to listen either way. Merry Christmas!! Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-142-CagedHeat.mp3 Download MP3 Over twenty years before Silence of the Lambs, Academy Award winner Jonathan Demme wrote and directed his true cinematic vision: a film about women in cages that is completely different from Women in Cages. That's right, we're watching another women in prison movie. But this one has Barbara Steele! And...I already mentioned Jonathan Demme! And that's it. Okay, maybe we're creepy weirdos for watching two of these movies. We're sorry. According to Wikipedia, Demme "incorporated elements of liberal politics, feminism and social consciousness into his screenplay." We didn't notice! He certainly didn't incorporate a lot of bras into his costumes. Original post located at searchforschlock.com.

http://www.searchforschlock.com/media/podcasts/sfs-141-Airport79.mp3 Download MP3 Hey, everybody, it's your old pal Chris. Reminding you to never watch an Airport movie alone. These films are advanced level bad and not for beginners. In fact, you probably shouldn't watch Airport 79 at all. Oh I'm sorry The Concorde... Airport '79. We can't forget the all-important dot dot dots or it's quite possible you'll confuse this film with another airport disaster movie. Actually, that'll never happen ever! Dear lord was it a chore to get through this one. Not a single moment of the action nor acting "performance" by any one of the cast could do anything to save this piece of crap ... or this run on sentence. Never fear though we drone on for an hour and a half anyway. Mostly about the other films in the illustrious Airport franchise. Join us! ... but do not for the love of god actually watch this movie! Original post located at searchforschlock.com.