Shhh! Don't Talk About It

This week we are coming back briefly to announce the end of the podcast. We are so grateful for the time we got to spend making space for difficult conversations, and we have reached a natural ending point. No, we did not have a falling out, yes we are still besties - our lives have just changed tremendously since we started this conversation in December 2020. Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who joined us along the way as a listener, guest, and supporter. We love you all and we hope you had as much fun on this ride as we did. Tune in for our final conversation and let us know what you think. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Summer has officially begun. Which made me think about bodies, body, body bodies. Right? Um, so we are going way back when to season one, episode four.  Ooh, look at that body.  And I chose this episode because we talk about all the things you, all we talk about our insecurities, we talk about some of the work that we've done to help with some of those insecurities and kind of. You know, just kind of open up a little bit about the industry. W what it means to like want to this body, whatever this is to you or means of for you, everyone has their own idea of what they like to look like and where the idea came from may not be so healthy. So we definitely talk about those things. And I thought it was relevant to bring it up now because it's summer and bodies are out and mine is out too! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For this week's summer re-mix we're sharing an interview we did during season 2 with our friend Shafina, who lost her second child when he was stillborn. This is a heavy topic but - as we discuss in the episode - it needs to be discussed. Each year about 21,000 babies are born stillborn and because we live in a society that says some kinds of grief are bigger than others (e.g. "stillborn child is not as painful as losing a child later in life"), that's 21,000 families with disenfranchised grief and no one to hear their story. Shafina does a beautiful job helping us step inside her story, get to know her son, and experience her loss, pain, and eventual understanding of what happened to her and her family. Years later we still get chills when we think about this interview. From Megan on her choice to release this episode: I decided to choose this episode to re-release because it hits close to home for me. I had a brother, Daniel, who died the day he was born. He wasn't stillborn, but my parent's experience was very close to Shafina's. Growing up I thought a lot about Daniel. I wanted to know him, I wished I could talk to him... but I at least wanted to be able to talk about him. I think my parents didn't quite have the words to help us understand who this baby that came before me was for them, and I wanted to re-share Shafina's story for other parents and families who might be feeling lonely in this loss in the same way I remember my family feeling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For this week's summer re-mix series Reyna chose "Power" from season 2 with the incomparable Ambrosia Carey from Successful Stylist academy. We could all use some inspiration and motivation as we head into summer and this episode has tons of it. Ambrosia's story starts with the birth of her first child when she was a teenager. Instead of letting that hinder her dreams, early parenthood pushed her forward. As a teen mom and a woman of color she became the owner of multiple successful businesses and has helped others achieve their dreams of doing the same. Along the way she learned her purpose is to educate and empower others to become successful no matter what life throws at them. Make sure to show your support and give this classic episode a listen. If you like what you hear from Ambrosia (especially if you work in the beauty industry) you can also tune into her pod Successful Stylist Academy on all platforms. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy June/Happy Pride! For this week's summer re-mix we are reissuing our season 4 conversation about bisexuality with the team from Catcall Magazine . This was such a fun conversation, and also served as Megan's first official "coming out" on the pod. We wanted to reissue this one because at a time when anti-trans, homophobic, hate is spreading we think its important to center queer joy and queer thinkers and queer conversations. In this episode we cover: Coming out as bisexual Bisexual erasure and biphobia The importance of community organizing and building community to fight back against bigots. Thank you to the team for sharing your stories so openly! This was so fun for us! About Catcall: Catcall is a digital collective uplifting Midwest writers, photographers, and artists. We focus on telling important community stories through an intersectional feminist lens that call out and dismantle systemic inequalities; uplift and illuminate the experiences of women, non-binary folks, the queer community, and allies in the Midwest; and connect us all as we catcall back at the patriarchy. This week's guests are:  Kelcie McKenney, Editor-In-Chief / Founder Kelcie (she/her) is a writer, editor, and artist who is passionate about intersectional feminism, local activism, queer representation, and strengthening community. You can find Kelcie reading (probably smut or Twilight), talking astrology, hanging with her three-legged cat and four-legged dog, or trying to overthrow the patriarchy. Emily Park, Managing Editor Emily (she/her) is a Kansas City-based journalist, passionate about giving a voice to those who don’t always have one. From news to features to business-to-business reporting, she’s done it all. In her free time, you can find Emily reading (probably fantasy smut), playing board games with her partner, or cuddling up with her dogs and cat. Max Sheffield-Baird, Contributing Writer Max Sheffield-Baird (they/them) is a writer and marketing strategist who’s passionate about racial and economic justice. Max is a parent of a rambunctious infant and is a student at Colorado State University and is expected to graduate in July 2021. In their dwindling free time (hello parenthood!), they enjoy podcasts, reading fantasy and non-fiction, and educating people on kyriarchy on the internet. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy June/Happy Pride! For this week's summer re-mix we are reissuing our season 4 conversation about bisexuality with the team from Catcall Magazine . This was such a fun conversation, and also served as Megan's first official "coming out" on the pod. We wanted to reissue this one because at a time when anti-trans, homophobic, hate is spreading we think its important to center queer joy and queer thinkers and queer conversations. In this episode we cover: Coming out as bisexual Bisexual erasure and biphobia The importance of community organizing and building community to fight back against bigots. Thank you to the team for sharing your stories so openly! This was so fun for us! About Catcall: Catcall is a digital collective uplifting Midwest writers, photographers, and artists. We focus on telling important community stories through an intersectional feminist lens that call out and dismantle systemic inequalities; uplift and illuminate the experiences of women, non-binary folks, the queer community, and allies in the Midwest; and connect us all as we catcall back at the patriarchy. This week's guests are:  Kelcie McKenney, Editor-In-Chief / Founder Kelcie (she/her) is a writer, editor, and artist who is passionate about intersectional feminism, local activism, queer representation, and strengthening community. You can find Kelcie reading (probably smut or Twilight), talking astrology, hanging with her three-legged cat and four-legged dog, or trying to overthrow the patriarchy. Emily Park, Managing Editor Emily (she/her) is a Kansas City-based journalist, passionate about giving a voice to those who don’t always have one. From news to features to business-to-business reporting, she’s done it all. In her free time, you can find Emily reading (probably fantasy smut), playing board games with her partner, or cuddling up with her dogs and cat. Max Sheffield-Baird, Contributing Writer Max Sheffield-Baird (they/them) is a writer and marketing strategist who’s passionate about racial and economic justice. Max is a parent of a rambunctious infant and is a student at Colorado State University and is expected to graduate in July 2021. In their dwindling free time (hello parenthood!), they enjoy podcasts, reading fantasy and non-fiction, and educating people on kyriarchy on the internet. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For this week's summer season re-issue Reyna chose Season 1, Episode 8, Love Sees Color. In this episode Reyna opened up and shared with Megan what it was like for her to grow up biracial, raised by her white mom who taught her and her siblings to be "colorblind." Reyna shares the journey she's been on to connect to her heritage and develop a sense of self as an adult, after growing up socialized not to see or talk about race. From Reyna on the episode: I chose this one to re-issue for our summer re-mix because May is known for AAPI month, and I thought it would be fitting to talk about my journey and challenges finding my identity as a biracial Filipino in a white dominant culture in the 80s/90s where "Love Sees No Color" was the main theme. I want to pay respects to my Filipino heritage, especially after years of feeling like I wasn't able to talk about it or allowed to notice or own that part of myself. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

While we are on our season break each of us are picking out favorite episodes from seasons past to share. This week, for our first re-issue Megan picked "Period Peace" (Season 1, Episode 3). From Megan: I just love this episode even though it's from the very early days of the pod and a little rough around the edges. Things get super serious around here and so much of the first season was the two of us processing grief. This episode is focused on period shame and is really just the two of us gossiping about ourselves, giggling, and remembering how mystifying it was to use a tampon for the first time. Hope you enjoy this re-issue and the other ones we have coming up! We will be back with fresh content in late summer! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we are joined by Alaina Wrencher, host of the Bipolar Buzz podcast. Alaina became a mental health advocate after experiencing a manic episode that landed her in the hospital in 2017. She recounts the challenges she faced during her stay in the hospital, how it helped her gain a better understanding of her condition, and what her road to recovery was like. She also shares her experience of postpartum psychosis, a rare but serious mental health condition that affects women after childbirth. Despite the difficulties she faced, Alaina's story is one of hope and resilience. She talks about how she found the strength to overcome her condition and how it has changed her life. She also discusses her passion for advocating for better mental health care in America, drawing on her personal experience to fuel her advocacy efforts. Alaina's story is an inspiring reminder that recovery is possible, and that those who live with mental health conditions should never lose hope. Her advocacy work serves as a call to action for all of us to work towards improving mental health care in America and ensuring that everyone has access to the resources they need to lead fulfilling and healthy lives. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we talk with the incredible advocate and stand up comedian Laura High about donor conception. Laura is a self described "sperm donor baby" dedicated to bringing ethics, regulation, and bravery to the infertility industry. This is the third in our series on this topic starting last season with friend of the pod Alexis from the DNA Surprises podcast, who shared her non-paternal event DNA surprise with us, along with our episode with Megan's sister and sister in law who talked about their IVF and donor experience on the road to becoming parents. Laura rounds this topic out sharing her experience as a donor conceived person. Laura is a fierce advocate, Tik Toker, and host of the Insemination podcast, who walks us through the dark side of the fertility industry with grace, humor, and incredible empathy for everyone (except the dirty industry insiders and capitalists making money off people's trauma) caught up in the multi billion dollar donor conception industry. If you are inspired by Laura's story and advocacy please sign on to the efforts to pass HR 451 to make fertility fraud illegal - preventing sexual assault and fraud in the fertility industry. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we are joined by wonderful couple Jonathan and Nato to learn about their journey with polyamory. They walk us through how they met, the process of opening their relationship up, and what they are learning about taking care of themselves and each other through it all. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week dive into long term relationships - what makes them work, how to keep growing in them, and when to call it quits. We each explore and share our very different relationship histories and what we've learned about ourselves through the process of making it work with someone else. Reyna has been in her relationship almost 19 years and shares her insight on how to keep things fresh, how to avoid codependence, and how she's grown with her partner from her 20s to her 40s. Megan has an entire Lifetime movie of toxic relationships, heartbreak, and bad dates to talk about and shares how she was finally able to make the leap from codependent serial dater into a securely attached relationship. This episode is for anyone - single or attached - trying to relate romantically to another person and figure out how to go the distance. Do you have your own relationship success story or dating horror story to share? Email us and let us know at info@ shhhdonttalk.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Reyna and Megan open up about their greatest fears and phobias. Some are heavy and rooted in trauma, others are just weird and we have no idea where they came from but we do our best this episode to try and figure it out. In this episode we cover Aerophobia: Fear of flying Fear of being attacked at night (doesn't have an official name but it should!) Nyctophobia: Fear of the dark Ichthyophobia: Fear of fish Achievemephobia: Fear of success Can you guess which one of us is afraid of what? How about which one of us sleeps with a knife under her pillow? You'll have to tune into find out, and let us know your own fears and phobias on our Insta

This week we're talk with Oliver James, a motivational speaker who's catch phrase on TikTok "What's up, I can't read" caught our attention and brought us into his incredible journey as he teaches himself to read at age 34. It's rare to hear someone talk about struggling to read as an adult, but in reality 21% of the adult population in America can't read and 54% read at a 6th grade level or lower. Oliver isn't alone, he's just one of the few people brave enough to talk about it. He's also spent the last year teaching himself how to read and is inspiring thousands of people to take on big challenges by documenting the process. His story is one of systemic abuse and neglect in the education system, childhood wounding, and overcoming major adversity. We were SO inspired by his journey and are honored to bring him to the pod.

Content warning: This episode discusses suicide, suicidal ideation, and (briefly) sexual assault. At Shhh! Don't Talk About It we believe these topics must be discussed - and that talking about them freely and without shame saves lives. However, sensitive listeners should take care of themselves throughout the episode. Feel free to take in slowly, and take breaks as you listen but we hope you'll stick with us through this difficult - but ultimately hopeful - episode. This week Megan and Reyna are joined by Nancy Nettles to discuss surviving suicide. Nancy is a mother, grandmother, mental health therapist, educator, opera singer and... three time suicide attempt survivor. On this episode she graciously shares her story and what it took for her to overcome her darkest hours to build the beautiful, full, life she is living today. In this episode we cover: What leads to suicidal ideation - and what can help prevent it. Models for treating suicidal ideation and suicide prevention that go beyond the Euro-centric medical model used by most mental health providers in America. How to talk to and show up for loved ones that are experiencing suicidal ideation. The importance of TALKING ABOUT IT without shame or judgement. The importance of building community support around people suffering from suicidal impulses and thoughts. Thank you so much to Nancy for being so open, compassionate, and fierce in her drive to normalize talking about suicide. Stories like hers save lives. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis please reach out to your local crisis line, or call 988. This episode is not a substitute for therapy. We dedicate this episode to our friend Joseph Brandon Smith who died by suicide July 12, 2020. We're glad Nancy stayed and we wish Joe did too.

This week Reyna and Megan take a deep dive into their mental health and well being for the first time in two years. We explore and talk about What we've learned in two years of working on our mental health. What therapy works for us, what therapy doesn't work. The benefits and limits of getting a diagnosis. How childhood trauma and attachment wounding has followed us into adulthood - and what we're doing about it now. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and Bipolar 2 Disorder. Our most effective coping skills and tools - including Reyna's amazing tips for reluctant meditators. Content warning: Brief mention of a friend who died by suicide. If you are in need of mental health support contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness at 800-950-6264. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis please call 988 for help and someone to talk to.

Megan and Reyna are back for Season 5 with more to talk about than ever. This week's episode sets up the theme of this coming season - Leap of Faith. This season we'll be going deeper into taboos and topics that we've looked at before, focusing on letting go of shame, but also finding the wisdom and lessons in difficult things we all go through in life. To that end, we're proud to announce our own leap of faith: we have officially joined the Solid Listen podcast network and are honored to be joining such an amazing group of podcasters. Stay tuned this season for bonus content available on the network's Patreon. Join us this week as we take a look back at the show's origins, reflect on how we've grown, and get hyped for what's ahead. Content warning: This week's episode briefly mentions death by suicide as we discuss the loss that sparked us to start the pod back in July 2020.

This week is our season 4 finale! In the last episode of the season we look back at the season, look ahead to 2023, and revisit our thoughts on holiday traditions and boundaries. Oh yeah AND we’re celebrating a big milestone… last week we passed 5,000 downloads. Amazing!  Thank you SO much to all of you for sticking with us this season. Don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review and we’ll see you in a few months. 

When you're struggling with your mental health and wellbeing it's tempting to pretend that "everything's fine" - even when it's not. (And even when  you run a podcast that's premise is talking about hard things!)  This week we get more vulnerable about our mental health than we've had the chance to in a long time. Long time listeners know both of us struggling with depression, anxiety, and PTSD - and the last several months have been super hard on both of us.  This week we catch up on our current mental health, what it's like to be in a state of burnout and overwhelm, how we're coping with emotional distress and set backs, and what we're learning along the way.