Somebody Save Me: The Official, but MOSTLY Unoffic

Mid Proposal. Mid Eye-Patch. Mid Funeral. The VRA has turned its enforcers into the Metropolis Gestapo and are cracking down on all suspected vigilantes and supporters. A somewhat decent marriage proposal, and banger engagement party, gets entirely overshadowed by General Slade's return and Hawkman's "death". Chloe also returns...in a flashback, smh. Michael Hogan and Michael Shanks both return for their final appearances as DC Comics' original characters Slade Wilson (a.k.a. "Deathstroke") and Carter Hall (a.k.a. "Hawkman"), respectively. Britt Irvin and Alaina Huffman both return as DC Comics' original characters Courtney Whitmore (a.k.a. "Stargirl") and Dinah Lance (a.k.a. Black Canary), respectively. As always, enjoy the show and leave those FIVE STARS!!!

Transference, Pt. II: LuClark "I love my daddy" Luthor After being the official heir of Lionel Luthor, Tess receives a Kryptonian artifact that allows the user to swap places with his mirrored counterpart from Earth-2. Clark activates the device and goes to a world where he was raised by the Luthors, is a well-known murdered/tyrant called Ultraman, Oliver and Lois think he's a douche and apparently is having a secret affair with his "sister" Tess. After realizing this world sucks Clark has to figure out a way back home in order to stop his evil twin from taking over the planet and banging Lois. John Glover returns for a special guest appearance as Smallville original character Lionel Luthor. Tom Welling takes on the role of DC Comics' original character Ultraman. As always, enjoy the show and give us those FIVE STARS!

General Slade "Cagemaster" Wilson HUGE appearances this week as the Vigilante Registration Act gets its first hero sign-up: Oliver Queen. General Slade Wilson, who is not at all comic-accurate, hides his superhero concentration camps behind the VRA bill. AC, a.k.a. Orin, returns with his new wife Mera to destroy these secret torture spots. Clark is reluctant at first since the new couple is solid competition, but he eventually comes around. Lois feels left out of Clark's superhero loop, but she gets to see Mera naked sooo...worth it? Michael Hogan (Battlestar Galactica, Teen Wolf) makes his first appearance as DC Comics' original character Slade Wilson, a.k.a. Deathstroke. Alan Ritchson (Reacher, Blue Mountain State) returns for his last appearance as DC Comics' original character Arthur Curry, a.k.a. Aquaman. Elena Satine (Cowboy Bebop, Magic City) makes her first and only appearance as DC Comics' original character Mera. As always, enjoy the show and give us those FIVE STARS!

Smallville Presents: The Girl Called Lutessa Tess finally gets her long overdue origin story with none other than Granny Goodness! After reliving a memory in the form of a nightmare Tess is "called" back to the orphanage she was raised in, and drags Clark along with her. Lois is crying nonstop after watching her late mother's videotapes, and then decides to play mediator between Clark and Jor-El's relationship. The Dark-Ass Counsel finally unites. Teri Hatcher (Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman) makes her first and only appearance as DC Comics' original character Ella Lane. The late Julian Sands (Arachnophobia, The Medallion) returns for his last appearance as DC Comics' original character Jor-El of Krypton. Helen Slater (Supergirl, The Lying Game) returns for her last appearance as DC Comics' original character Lara-El. Christine Willes (Trick 'r Treat, The Wicker Man) makes her first appearance as DC Comics' original character Granny Goodness. Steve Byers (The Man in the High Castle, Slasher) makes his first appearance as DC Comics' original character Desaad. Michael Daingerfield (Sausage Party, Dreamcatcher) makes his first appearance as DC Comics original character Gordon Godfrey.

The Return of Senile Sam & Lucy Goosey After a sex-filled weekend for the new couple, the Lane family drops in on the Kent farm for an early Thanksgiving dinner. Lois is freaking out, but Clark isn't worried until Sam announces he's fighting to push for the new Vigilante Registration Act. Rick Flag returns in order to use Lucy to get to her father, which she happily does because she lowkey hates her family. Oliver keeps treating Tess as the villain until it's time for boo-boos and happy hour. Ted Whittall (Suicide Squad, Wicker Park) is officially confirmed as DC Comics' original character Rick Flag. Michael Ironside (Starship Troopers, Total Recall) returns for his final appearance as DC Comics' original character Sam Lane. Peyton List (The Flash, The Greatest Game Ever Played) returns for her final appearance as DC Comics' original character Lucy Lane. Elias Toufexis (Blood of Zeus) makes first and only appearance as DC Comics' original character Emil LaSalle, a.k.a. Warp. Leave those FIVE STARS for the 5-Star General Sam Lane!!!

Escape, Pt. II / Wrong Turn 3.5: The Flat Tire Lois and Clark take a little couples getaway, but instead find themselves taken hostage by a blue Kryptonite cult disguised as a normal amish-type of town. The town's leader, Joseph, is determined to fulfill their annual ritual by using Lois as a sacrifice because she refused to eat their dinner. Meanwhile, the Alexander clone is aging rapidly (shout out to Emily and Evan!) into the Lex we all remember. Tess is determined to find a cure since she is running out of money to throw weekly birthday parties. As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

What took you so long? Lois gets possessed by an Egyptian goddess named Isis, real classic Smallville plot line, who is needing to resurrect her husband Osiris. Nope, it's not Black Adam like it should be but who cares? Not us, that's for sure. Oliver starts acting a little more douchey, so Tess calls him out on it. Clark respects that and wants to be bros with Tess. Clark decides to finally come out of the closet to Lois. The last ten minutes of this episode is a pure masterpiece <3 As always, enjoy the show and leave those FIVE STARS!

IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON FROM THE PAST. Smallville's 200th episode, a high school reunion, "A Clark-mas Carol", and a barn dance scene. What more could you want? Lois wants to cheer up Clark by bringing him back to high school so she can feel popular. Brainiac comes back from the 31st Century to teach Clark a few lessons while being sexier than ever. Oliver compares himself to J.F.K. when dealing with the repercussions of taking his hero identity public. James Marsters returns to make his first and final appearance as DC Comics original character Brainiac/Brainiac 5. Greg Donella makes a surprise return, and final appearance, as season one villain Greg Arkin, a.k.a. Bug-Boy. As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

The Return of Kara Zor-El and BDSM Darkness has now invaded Metropolis, with hero-bashing radio host Gordon Godfrey being its first [perverted] victim. Kara makes a very public and over-the-top return as a new superhero, and tells Clark he's a terrible son that's been disowned by Jor-El. Lois goes undercover to expose Godfrey's dark side (wink-wink). Oliver, still depressed over Chloe's absence, wrestles with a very big decision (no, not hookers). Laura Vandervoort returns as DC Comics original character Kara Zor-El, a.k.a. Supergirl. Michael Daingerfield (Sausage Party, Dreamcatcher) makes his first appearance as DC Comics original character Gordon Godfrey. As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

YOUR DRAW. Since Lois chose Africa over love, Clark has to deal with his new partner at the Daily Planet: Cat Grant. Too bad they have to deal with a country-loving assassin. Carter Hall checks in on Lois as a favor to Clark, but makes a move?! Chloe is missing and it's driving Oliver CRAZY...horny. Tess is somehow better as Clark's sidekick than his villain. Keri Lynn Pratt (Drive Me Crazy) makes her first appearance as DC Comics original character Cat Grant. Michael Shanks (Stargate, Saving Hope) returns as DC Comics original character Carter Hall, a.k.a. Hawkman. Bradley Stryker (Untamed, Magazine Dreams) makes his first appearance as DC Comics original character Deadshot. Jessica Parker Kennedy (Black Sails, The Flash) returns as DC Comics original character Bette San Souci, a.k.a. Plastique. As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

NEW YEAR. NEW SEASON. SAME IDIOTS. Clark has a near-death experience after his fight with Zod, and guess what? Jor-El wishes he actually died. Lois knows who The Blur is finally, but still wants to hit up Africa. Tess gets the worst Two-Face origin story possible, and finds a whole facility filled with the grossest clones of Lex. Oliver is naked, kidnapped and getting tortured by some random guy. Jon Kent reminds us who daddy really is. As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

The South Boston Mall sucks. We cap off our Friday Film streak with a terrible Christmas TV movie starring the WONDERFUL Laura Vandervoort, a.k.a. Kara Zor-El. Hop on this sleigh ride to get your sexy Santa at your local shopping mall. As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

HEY BUDDY, EYES UP HERE! In celebration of crossing over 200 episodes, we give you our very own Two Nerdy Idiots review of James Gunn's Superman. Another reason is that Taylor is really wanting to avoid starting season ten LOL. A huge thank you to our Emmy award-winner, JR a.k.a. OG Peace, for returning to make this special event a reality. An even BIGGER thank you to all of our fans for all the continued support, love/hate and amazing jokes these last four years. This one is for you! As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

BONUS MOVIE FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Thought you were getting Smallville? Yeah right. It's time to give Erica Durance some screen time! Please join us in the best review of this terrible sequel and laugh with us on its downfall. Is it good? No. Is it bad? Absolutely. Are we having fun? OHH YESSSSS. As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

The infamous 9th season has OFFICIALLY ended The Two Nerdy Idiots continue the tradition of the end-of-season award show, with most of the same categories and some new ones. We give thanks and huge shout outs this week to our fans who continue to participate and make the show so fun. Also, Taylor decided to become a dictator this time around, but no worries because he can't pronounce "telepathy"! As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

Farewell General Zod, you were quite the idiot! Clark now has the Book of Rao, but only to find out it will teleport every Kryptonian to their "paradise" world to start fresh. Since that includes Clark, he decides to lead his people to their new lives and has to say goodbye to his loved ones. Chloe gets pissed, Oliver doesn't care, and Lois gets told she needs to pick Africa over love. BUT, before Clark can do anything, Zod and his Kandorians begin committing gang violence across the globe because that's how you take over the world (apparently). Britt Irvin, Michael Shanks and Alaina Huffman all return as DC Comics original characters Courtney Whitmore ("Stargirl"), Carter Hall ("Hawkman") and Dinah Lance ("Black Canary"), respectively. Phil Morris and Lee Thompson Young make their final appearances as DC Comics original characters Martian Manhunter and Cyborg, respectively. As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

Perry Pt. II: I'm Banging Clark's Mom The farm gets a surprise visit from Martha Kent while Clark and Lois are figuring out their "break-up" and unemployment situation. On top of that, Martha brings Perry White and Lois couldn't be more excited to work with a legend on their hot new story: The Red Queen. Maxwell Lord returns and kidnaps Tess in order to track down the Book of Rao, which Chloe is also trying to find but is doing a terrible job. Annette O'Toole (Virgin River, Superman III) makes her return as DC Comics original character Martha Kent. Michael McKean (Better Call Saul, This is Spinal Tap) returns as DC Comics original character Perry White. Gil Bellows (Chucky, The Shawshank Redemption) returns as DC Comics original character Maxwell Lord. As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

Smallville Presents: Lockdown, Pt. II Chloe and Tess, a.k.a. the twins, get locked inside of Watchtower together (mmm, kinky). Stuart is back as a completely different character who now works for Checkmate. Zod continues to betray his own people by abandoning them. Clark tries to help a pregnant Faora, but Checkmate gets in the way. Oliver gets a sick new chest tattoo, courtesy of Zod. Pam Grier (Jackie Brown, The L Word) makes her final appearance as DC Comics original character Amanda Waller. As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

Clark Kent v The Blur: Who does Lois love more? Lois and Clark get their jobs pitted against one another by the Daily Planet's new editor-in-chief. Ex-D.A. Ray the NutSacks is out of prison and ready for his revenge on Lois and The Blur. Chloe, a.k.a. Watchtower, is practically useless nowadays. Lois basically admits that The Blur is more important than her boyfriend. Checkmate makes a return with their new black king and he is, in fact, NOT black. Gil Bellows (Chucky, The Shawshank Redemption) makes his first appearance as DC Comics original character Maxwell Lord. As always, enjoy the show and LEAVE THOSE FIVE STARS!

Metallo, Pt. II: Clark & Zod Forever <3 Thanks to Tess, John Corben is back and with a new upgrade: The Nice Guy Enhancer. Chloe tracks down Tess' lab for Clark, but little do they know that it's filled with red Kryptonite. Once Clark, or our favorite "Kal", is infected he falls in love with Zod because of his superpowers and takes him to the fortress to meet daddy. Meanwhile, Lois tries to get John out of the state and Chloe and Tess realize they are best friends/twins. Brian Austin Green (Beverly Hills 90210) returns for his last special guest appearance as DC Comics original character John Corben, a.k.a. Metallo.