Sorry, Kansas » Podcast Feed

That’s right, you probably thought we did the old murder-suicide thing, but we didn’t.  In fact, in true SK style, we have six or so episodes that we recorded over the past few months that I may still release.  In addition to that, James and I are starting at least two new shows and “YouTube Content”!  Stay tuned for all of that, but in this last episode of Sorry, Kansas James and I solve all the worlds problems and give you an effortless recipe for happiness and satisfaction.  This episode is brought to you by Hip Young Cool Studios.

I know, I know, but seriously, my computer started fucking up and I didn’t handle it very well.  I sincerely wish that was just a lame excuse, but at least I talked myself out of throwing my computer against the wall.  Join James and I as we discuss life hacks, leaving contacts in too long, bad words, camming-con, prayer discounts, the rock group Queen, and much more.  The much ballyhooed (I can’t believe I spelled that right on my first try) first installment of Jon Feist Writes: The College Years is this episode, as well as James being briefly eaten by a magical snake.  This episode is brought to you by Nowel. Links: fuck this fuck this too

I sure hope you you still want to listen to these.  If you are wondering, “what the fuck happened?”  Then tune in everyday this week for new episodes, and a light dip into the darkness that’s pervaded my life the past couple of months (and the decade before that).  If it’s all the same, I’m just gonna pretend none of it happened and get back to making this show and making it better than ever. This episode was recorded months ago.  Our friends JACK and ALAN come by for a special episode where we take a trip to Mass Street Soda in lovely downtown Lawrence.  It’s a fun episode of tasting and comparing weird, wild sodas!

This episode was recorded when James and I were very sleep deprived.  Then I edited it when I was sleep deprived and I am writing this to you now as person who is, in fact, deprived of sleep.  So, with all this deprivity in mind, enjoy this episode that has a sort of mad energy.  Jack Kerouac sort of mad not madvertising kind of mad, man.  This episode is brought to you by James.

As members of the band Staind seem fond of saying, It’s been a while.  Who knows if they really are fond of it, but it seems that way.  I can tell you that James and I discuss loose butthole, songs, the patch, clapping at movies, cock wrappings, milk grades, local recycling bullshit, and much more.  This week’s episode is brought to you by Dr Salt. If you listened all the way to the end you heard Heart Trouble by Rachel Kaplus.  To hear more (and give her your money) click HERE.

This time around James and I talk about shit that’s too funny to describe.

Wow, I guess no one (except James) reads these.  I don’t really hate Red Letter Media, but I do hate that some people have enough money to waste on something like that when people go to bed hungry every night.  Reality simply does not make sense to me most of the time.  Let’s forget about that though and listen to James breakdown the ideology of Tweety Bird, a crazy ass Joke Machine, an interview with the creator of Californication Tom Kapinos, an improv scene, and of course we’ve got topics too.  This episode is brought to you by The Money Grubber. Links: Twisted coloring books A list of useful website compiled by a useless one See what I mean? Proof of a transaction

Alright, since no one reads these I’m going to entertain myself.  I officially rescind my support of Red Letter Media.  The fact that they turned down $250 to do an hour interview with me was insulting enough, but I understood.  Since they refuse to do the one thing that brought them to my and everyone else’s attention, the Plinkett reviews, the only thing left for me to point to was that they weren’t begging for money from their fans.  Selling DVDs is standard, same with merch, and even their auctions where they sell literal trash I’m fine with.  With a DVD you at least have purchased a product.  In the case of Feeding Frenzy it was a worthless product, but a product none the less.  What I can’t stand is that they think they need to rent a warehouse to do their mediocre shit in.  Let me tell you why I’m really mad though.  They already get ad revenue.  There’s an average of 4 ads per video.  Even if they get 1/4 of a penny for every ad play, and they average 100,000 views, that’s $1,000 per video.  That’s for dumb fuck movie reviews too, not the millions of views they get on Plinkett reviews.  You know, the kind of reviews that require writing and work, not the kind where you pay your friends to get drunk with you and make lame lowest common denominator jokes.  The worst part is that they think they are smart.  They think that a collection a drunk idiots can ride the line of bad on purpose and over the top camp?  I watched Feeding Frenzy, they can’t…or at least won’t.  When they first started out they were able to make money and buy equipment shooting weddings and shit, but they are too good for that sort of thing now.  That sort of thing being, of course, honest work.  No, now they need you and me to do honest work, and then give the proceeds to them.  I say fuck that.  Have you seen Clerks, or El Mariachi?  Those are two excellent examples of working with nothing.  Another good example is Evil Dead.  So, Red Letter Media, take Sam Raimi’s cue and beg for money from dentists, not people who can’t afford to go to one…you worthless fucking assholes. Links: Juggalo light Jaggalo in depth Saul Williams

Dose anyone read these?  If you read these please let me know.  The topics this week include dreams, the dumbest thing I’ve ever done, joke theft, misheard words, blatant marketing to children, characters that then became actors as characters, and much more.  This week’s episode is brought to you by The Burger Log from Franklyn and Ginger’s ranch restaurant. Links: Cereals we’ve lost Rogan vs Mencia Go deeper!

Welcome back for another round of insanity.  This episode was recorded the day before April Fools.  It’s just an excuse, but I really wanted to have nothing to do with that holiday.  I feel like a true alcoholic who stays home on St Patrick’s Day.  Like I said though, that’s just an excuse.  Really, my depression and laziness are neck and neck most of the time, and neither of them ever actually “wins.”  BUT I haven’t smoked a cigarette in 45 hours, so that’s something.  This weeks topics include being a trashman, fox news wagging dicks in our faces, the coolest oven mitt, waffle tacos, and much more.  I also give a rare movie recommendation, and the epic conclusion to part one of Jon Feist Writes.  This episode is brought to you by Chicho Camicho’s Rock-Bottomless Margaritas. Links: Here’s Fox’s dick They’re making them, act fast We’re not the only ones

It’s true, two new episodes in as many weeks!  Seriously, quit rubbing your eyes, you’ll hurt yourself.  This week I only wrote two things down, and one of them we didn’t even get to.  So I don’t feel the need to tell you here what that one thing was.  Given it’s weight, you’ll know when you hear it.  In addition to the normal silliness, there’s also Joke Machine, JFW, and a real rarity, a comedy scene!  Drunk Girls is off King Dong’s new album available HERE.

As Scott Aukerman (director of the President) might say IT’S BEEN…(chuckle) quite a while since we’ve released an episode.  WELL THAT ENDS TODAY!  I’m releasing an episode right now, in fact.  If you wanna know the real truth, if your reading this, I’ve already written it.  Chances are I’m watching a TV show or playing video games.  Pretty nuts huh?  Well don’t get too excited, time is a flat circle (duh).  This week James and I discuss the merits of a cake-sized candy bar, generic cars, how fuckability should not grant you a valid artistic voice, racist nerds, the reality of magic, and much more.  This episode is brought to you by Jizz Zappers.  The song Momma’s Titties is off King Dong’s Variety Hour‘s new self titled album available HERE. Links: Juan Carlo This 10 year old is my kind of crazy I dare you to get one (read the reviews, too)

It’s been awhile, we’re glad you still here.  You mean more to us than you’ll ever know.  Well maybe you know it now…who knows.  I must admit this week is pretty heavy.  Typically, Valentines Day signals the lowest point of my seasonal depression so the next episode will be a lot lighter.  Don’t fear though, by the end things get nice and silly.  This week we talk about spoilers, George Zimmerman, the super bowl, minimum wage, commercials, Robocop, and much more.  We are also joined briefly by Woody Fallon.  This episode is brought to you by Faux J. Links: They’ve been… …trying this… …a while. OUR Robocop Remake STEINBLOGGER.COM Totus Tuus

If you’re anything like me, you’re still writing 2013 on all your podcast episodes.  This week James and I discuss questionable uses of a star’s likeness, counterfeit Chinese eggs, excuses for my stand up performance, insulting credit card names, the problem with legal weed in Colorado, demographics, insanely expensive Nintendo games, bored writers, and much more.  Also, the lesser know Hilton sibling, Capitol stops by to discuss basketball.  Casey Anthony is by General Bastard who’s album is available HERE. Links: Seriously, I didn’t make this up. …or this. Why would you want this? Fuck this bra Capitol’s basket ball. Sold for $99,902 Currently at $100,088 Currently at $13.850, now’s your chance!

Well it finally happened, we have a concrete release day for our show.  I hate spoilers, so I won’t ruin it by telling you here what day we picked.  You’ll have to listen to find out.  This week you’ll also find out about a ton of other stuff too like where tube socks are made, selling on eBay, magical items, inscrutable hand gestures, surgery free gastric bypass, and much more.  This week’s episode is brought to you by Box Box.

Are you ready for this?  This BOTH the last episode of 2013 AND the first episode of 2014!  Doesn’t that blow your mind?  It doesn’t?  You figured out that it’s been recorded for a long time, and I’m just now getting around to releasing it?  Got it.  First off I need to break it to you that the Dr Scholl’s ad that you want to see hasn’t been put on YouTube…yet.  This week James and I talk about spaghettification, cabin kits, I’m going to do stand up, Weber cooks, Christmas presents, the internet, the year that was, and much more.  This week’s episode is brought to you by Jon’s 80s Nostalgia. Links: Only $2000 Neil De G T breaks it down Eat your hearts out Tim and Eric Aziz is bored

Happy holidays *gun cocks* …and merry Christmas!  James and I don’t talk about any of that and instead discuss the definition of insanity, fake sign language, pick-up artist swarms, eBay, corporate racism, rich assholes setting dangerous precedents, and much more.  There’s also Jon Feist Writes, a visit from the electronics hater Dustin Cathair, and a special holiday Shatner.  This episode is brought to you by Diced Bread. Links: We can’t condone violence… Fascinating The beasts get caged James was super smart not to bet A couple weeks ago James and I were talking after the show and yada yada yada this link

Welcome back, and if this is your first episode…then where ya’ been you old so-and-so?  Kick you shoes off, crank up the space heater, and hit play!  This week James and I discuss the Robocop remake, what to do with old malls, British cigarette renaming, new oldies, edited movies, fake Big Macs, and much more.  There’s also Jon Feist Writes plus an epic and hilarious Joke Machine.  Politicians In My Eyes is by the band called Death. Death: Full version of Politicians In My Eyes Their full album If you have Netflix Instant, here’s a link to the documentary Other Links Shameless Horrible idea *facepalm* An artist’s rendering of my gorgeous singularity machine.

James and I hope you enjoyed you Thanksgiving.  Now you have us to help gird you for the coming Christmas onslaught.  This week James and I talk about eBay, eBay, and eBay.  I’m only mostly kidding.  Tonight’s episode is brought to you by Richard Casing’s Sausage Casings for your Sausage and Dick Sleeves. Links: Wifi toaster #1 Wifi toaster #2 I forgot to mention this stupid thing This actually seems worth it Mario Paint Composer

Say fuck black friday, with it’s grotesque consumerism, and stay home to enjoy a free podcast in the comfort of your home.  This week James and I talk about too much to mention, such as the danger of eBay, Bill Gate’s condom initiative, the threatening nature of ski masks, retro video game reviews, and much more.  There’s also SteinFiles and Jon Feist Writes!  At the end of the show James and I were outside gearing up for the depressing political talk, when The Fart locks us out in the cold and hijacks the show…only to interview “Dr” Chunt Montgumry and Orson Scott Card!  This episode is brought to you by SKU and John’s Floating Furniture. The SteinFiles This makes me feel old. This makes me feel like punching a European. Links There are many more appropriate words than “awkward” for the headline This is weird WATCH OUT!!!