Steppin Out Radio

Black Pain identifies emotional pain — which uniquely and profoundly affects the Black experience — as the root of lashing out through desperate acts of crime, violence, drug and alcohol abuse, eating disorders, workaholism, and addiction to shopping, gambling, and sex. Few realize these destructive acts are symptoms of our inner sorrow.  Black people are dying. Everywhere we turn, in the faces we see and the headlines we read, we feel in our gut that something is wrong, but we don’t know what it is. It’s time to recognize it and work through our trauma.  Terrie Williams knows that Black people are hurting. She knows because she’s one of them.

Leigh Steinberg (@leighsteinberg) Sports Agent to the Stars, wrote a best-selling book, Winning with Integrity, providing insight on how to improve life through non-confrontational negotiation. Furthermore, Leigh’s most recent book, The Agent: My 40-Year Career of Making Deals and Changing the Game, details his decades of dominance in the sports industry and sheds light on overcoming his personal struggles to launch his comeback. Leigh has been rated the #6 Most Powerful Person in the NFL according to Football Digest and the #16 Most Powerful Person in Sports according to The Sporting News, and was the only agent that made Sports Illustrated’s list of most influential figures that shaped the NFL’s first 100 years.

Kim grew up in a “beautiful suburb” as an only child of a “severe” alcoholic father. She says he was drunk daily. She remembers as a child telling her father that their lives would be okay if he didn’t keep drinking. But in her early teens, she began drinking herself. Kim would steal booze from her friend’s parents’ liquor cabinet at a party; she became so intoxicated she couldn’t go home. From that moment, she had a new favorite activity. It made her feel less uncomfortable in her own skin. It was a relief of emotion – and she kept chasing it. Soon she needed the alcohol just to have the courage to leave the house.

Raymond is an alcoholic and an addict. Growing up in with an alcoholic mother in Brooklyn, he now knows it was booze which killed his mom. As a child, he would sneak drinks but his true drinking began at age 14 when sneaking out with friends. His drinking persisted from that moment on. His drinking took over his life to the point he twice attempted suicide. Raymond would wind up in psychiatric care at New York’s Bellvue Hospital, where a nurse told him that he wasn’t mentally ill, but that he drank too much.

Tommy was raised in New York’s Staten Island.  He was eleven years old when his father gave him his first drink, declaring Tommy to “be a man, now.”  But his regular drinking started age 13 with friends.  His mother beat him when he came home drunk.  Tommy’s drinking continued though his teenage years, dropping out of school by age 16 and working for a living.  His job allowed him to save money each week in order to go out drinking.  But his drinking took up too much of his time and he soon lost his job and Tommy wound up homeless.  Attempts to get into a better job, including the New York City police department, where all thwarted by alcohol.

Brian comes from a culture where drinking and other bad behavior tends to be congratulated.  He was a child when he convinced an alcoholic adult to buy him booze by paying him for it.  Brian can remember getting drunk that night with a buddy, staggering around the neighborhood, and then blacking out and coming too in his parents home late at night.  His boozing got him in trouble while in Singapore, where he got arrested for drinking to excess.   His whole life, Brian remembers that everybody from his parents to the judge in Singapore would shrug off his behavior.

Priest, Retreat Master, Author, Actor, Playwright and Sinner!  Father Roger tells us his intriguing story of addiction and recovery.  Roger says, “By the age of 3 years old I needed to go on the wagon.  If they had Kiddie AA I would have qualified!” Roger’s first real moment of clarity, after years of abusing alcohol, happens as he comes out of a blackout, standing on the ledge of the Brooklyn Bridge, ready to jump.  After getting himself down off the cables, he ran looking for an AA meeting. From there all sorts of remarkable things have happened – most of which is being sober for 15 years and having the ability and the desire to help other people.

“I was a hard case, and it seems like I needed to learn my lesson the hard way,” writes Cameron Douglas, son of actor Michael Douglas, in his affecting memoir of crime and punishment.   The author grew up between well-to-do households where it was a party trick for him as a child to pass a joint among the beautiful people.  By the age of 25, he was injecting cocaine three times an hour while realizing that “the worst-case scenario has already happened,” his opportunities in the show-business world long since tossed away. The worst case, though, had yet to develop: in and out of rehab, as well as the penal system, proceeding from juvenile detention to time in a federal prison full of warring racial factions, all brought on by a fierce addiction to heroin and a drug-selling operation meant to support it.

Barry McCaffrey served in the United States Army for 32 years.  When he retired in 1996, he was the most decorated General serving in the United States Army, having been awarded 3 Purple Heart Medals for wounds received in combat, 2 Distinguished Service Crosses (the nation’s second highest award for valor), and 2 Silver Stars for valor.  He served overseas for more than 12 years —and 4 combat tours with the 82nd Airborne Division, the Vietnamese Airborne Division, the 1st Cavalry Division, and the 24th Mechanized Infantry Division.  

Paula remembers her first drink. She recalls how all her inhibitions and fears would vanish as the booze crossed her lips. She was 13 and soon became a weekend drinker, following the example set forth by alcoholic parents and siblings. That, she says, gave a predisposition towards alcoholism. Reaching adulthood, pursuing a career in the business world, alcohol was prevalent at social gatherings and luncheons. But Paula drank even more often, keeping the coffee mug on her desk filled with vodka.

Matt was a young drinker; so young, in fact, he got sober at age 19. He hails from a large family of alcoholics and spent his whole young life believing that alcoholism was a normal way of life. But it also caused him to feel like an outcast – a feeling that could only be quelled by drinking alcohol himself. By age 18, Matt is drinking nightly and winding up in strange situations that the following morning he would conclude made for a “good night.”

Steve always felt different from other people. He first felt that way when, as a young child, he was made to repeat kindergarten. Steve now thinks his failure to socialize or make friendships at that age was the result of his mother being an alcoholic.  By age thirteen he began to pick up the drink himself.  And since then Steve would drink to get drunk. He had no desire to have just a glass of wine.  Steve’s alcoholism even caused him to have a breakdown while in the military.

Twin Brothers “Z” and “T” are both alcoholics in recovery, who think their first drinks came while they were in the womb, when their mother would drink while pregnant. Both reflect on their lives before entering recovery, scamming friends and associates into providing them with alcohol and eventually drugs. One time they met up with a childhood friend who had become a judge and drinking started smoking marijuana with him, or so they thought. But the judge asked them to meet him later in the day what would turn out to be an AA meeting.

Ray says alcohol would help he feel better about himself. He never liked his life, even as a child. He learned to drink in his youth, by watching his father and other adults. Even as a senior citizen now, his uncle still sits in his shed and drinks. He got an athletic scholarship to a private prep school but got expelled sophomore year, all related to drinking. His first rehab visit occurred at age 16, as he was not only drinking excessively, but stealing his sick mother’s tranquilizers. But his abuse resumed following his departure from the facility. In his late teens, his father set him away to ensure he didn’t embarrass the family.

Gail Cole’s son Brendan was about to finish his college career when she noticed something was wrong.   Brendan would admit to his parents that he was addicted to pain pills.  His use of the drugs started, as with so many, by taking opioids as prescribed by doctors following surgery.  Thinking back, Gail can remember how she needed to keep the pills away from him to make sure he didn’t take too many.  Brendan would later develop a heroin addiction that would cost him his life.

Raoul is a 15 year-old young man in recovery. His favorite drug to use was marijuana. He began experiencing marijuana at three; he would get a contact high when his father smoked it around him.  At age 11, Raoul and his friend decided to get high by stealing from his father’s stash. On his 13th birthday, Raoul got so high, he felt nothing as his friends pelted him with coins.  When a therapist learned he was abusing drugs, Raoul was sent off to a rehab, but there he learned from other kids who to defeat the regular drug testing.

Helaina Hovitz Regal is an editor, journalist, author, storyteller, social media and content strategist, and native New Yorker who has always had the unreasonable notion that she can help change the world. She’s the author of the memoir After 9/11 and got sober at age 22. Her bylines can be found in over 50 publications including The New York Times, Salon, Glamour, VICE, Women’s Health, Teen Vogue, Forbes, SELF, and others. She has a passion for social good and mental health and wellness, and has been featured on several networks such as CBS, PBS, and ABC.

Tony Mandarich is a former American football offensive tackle who played in the NFL for seven seasons.  He was picked in the first round of the 1989 NFL Draft to play for the Green Bay Packers.  He would also later play for the Indianapolis Colts.  But his prospects dimmed after lackluster seasons, finding himself down and out and in the throws of addiction. Tony’s now written a book,  My Dirty Little Secrets – Steroids, Alcohol & God: The Tony Mandarich Story.  His story is an inspiration for alcoholics and drug abusers, and offers hope for those trying to help themselves out of the nightmare of addiction.

Rick is one of seven kids. Rick’s two sisters are not addicts. His three brothers, however, are. Two have already died due to alcoholism. His sole remaining brother, like himself, is now sober. His first drinks came by way of an adult friend when Rick was in high school. Those drinks began a life spent chasing alcohol. He drank through his time in the service and even working as a firefighter in New York City. His first clear moment came when he wound up in prison one night after a night of drinking – an event he knew even then was due to his abuse of alcohol. But he would be dismissed from the fire department after they learned his was an addict.

Prizefighter Gerry Cooney returns to Steppin’ Out Radio to discuss his new book.  Gentleman Gerry: A Contender in the Ring chronicles the career of a boxing legend, the challenges and triumphs of a trauma survivor, and an alcoholic’s journey to sustained recovery.  It provides a detailed account of how the former contender went from an abused childhood to becoming a two-time Golden Gloves champion. More than just a biography, this book explores the challenges of surviving difficult moments and overcoming obstacles such as alcohol addiction. The authors also provide historical perspectives of the era and behind-the-scenes insight into the world of professional boxing.