Strength In Words

Exploring the Impact of Societal Pressures, Cultural Differences, & Trauma on Communicative IntentIn this episode, Ayelet Marinovich and Jess Burchiel discuss the importance of communicative intent and access to communication as a human right. Jess, a speech-language pathologist, shares her experiences working with children, emphasizing the value of responsive parenting and the challenges parents face in recognizing their children’s communicative actions. We talk about: Communicative intent and Early Intervention Challenges in recognizing communicative intent The importance of slowing down and noticing each other, valuing all forms of communication How communicative intent is connected to broader social issues, and communication as a human right The impact of cultural differences, societal pressures, and trauma on communication We look forward to hearing the ways in which this conversation sparked your curiosity, and what new questions arise from listening! Helpful Resources Related to This EpisodeLearn With Less® Podcast episode: Assuming Intentionality – How to Respond to Early Communication Connect Learn Play – Digital / Printable infant, toddler, and pre-school aged ideas to provide simple, enriching ways to support early development through play, language, music, and movement – using everyday items – helping you Learn With Less®! The Learn With Less® Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint Lead caregiver/baby groups using the Learn With Less® curriculum by becoming a licensed facilitator Book recommendation: How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life With Children Ages 2 – 7, by Joanna Faber Donate to Operation Olive Branch, a direct aid fund for families on the ground in Gaza Support Palestinian Liberation by learning more about the BDS or Boycott, Divest, Sanction movement which has strategic boycott targets for consumers Learn more about the root causes of violence in Palestine, we recommend you watch this short history video or read The Hundreds Year War on Palestine by Rashid Khalidi Connect With UsAyelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Jess: Facebook / Instagram Text Transcript of the EpisodeAyelet: Welcome to another episode of Learn With Less®. I’m here today with Jess Burchiel. Jess just told me that a great way to remember how to pronounce her last name is: it rhymes with Churchill. Hahaha. Jess, would you like to introduce folks a little bit to you & to the kind of work that you do? Jess: I would love that. Thank you. Hi. Good afternoon from the west coast. My pronouns are she/her, I live in Bellingham, Washington, on occupied Salish and Nooksack and lami territory. I’m a speech-language pathologist here at a private clinic. I’ve been working with kids young as 2, and as old as 25, for about four years here. For years before that, I worked at a small community hospital in the county. I don’t know, I love cats, and I really like my job! I really like doing what I do, what we do, which has been so wonderful to continue to know. Ayelet: Yeah, that’s awesome. Well, I’m really happy to have you for this recorded conversation. You and I have been in touch over the last year and a half or so, mostly over social media. More recently, we’ve been in actual conversation with synchronous face to face contact, which is lovely. It’s been about a number of topics. These are including and not limited to: communicative intent, access to communication, the fact that everyone deserves access to communication, communication as a human right, human rights in general. We’re both Jewish or Jewish adjacent, and quite outspoken within the movement for Palestinian Liberation and what is happening in Gaza and The West Bank. Really looking at how we communicate, what is being communicated, communicative intent, looking at the full spectrum of communication here, from both a political lens and a education lens. And as we all know, everything is political at the end of the day. So with that all said, let’s start there, right? Jess: Let’s start there. I really gravitate to people who have a passion for what we do, for people who are internally curious about we do and how we do it. In particular now in the last year & a half, for people who are willing to speak up and say hard things. I think that is required of us, and I’m really excited to ask you some questions about communicative intent today. What do you think? Ayelet: I love it. I want to start just because before we hit the record button, we were doing a nice little grounding practice. As we sit here recording, it’s spring break. I have kids at home. They’re in the other room doing “video game camp” in the living room. And it’s been a day, it’s been a week. Let’s get on the same page here. Let’s ground ourselves. And Jess, you were introducing this lovely exercise, and I was wondering if we could just start with that, as well. Grounding Exercise and Initial DiscussionJess: A quick note, this is a grounding exercises, very new for me. It’s very much something I don’t want to do, which is why I’m trying to lean into it. I borrowed it directly from my therapist, who’s very much grounded in Buddhist teaching. As people who’re very busy and often disconnected, one of the hardest things is just to slow down and stop. We’re going to do that by, me and you & everyone who’s listening, taking a second, truly, to put your feet on the ground. Feel your feet on the ground, and take a couple deep breaths. Maybe I’m going to ask myself and you to identify a sensation in your body, and I’ll do the same. I will name mine as my heart is racing a little bit. I can taste the cupcake that a kid gave me this morning in the back of my mouth. Yeah. How about you? Ayelet: I’m feeling some congestion in my nose and throat. I have celebrated a birthday of one of my children this weekend. I had a nine year old literally fall directly into my face while coughing. Oh yeah, it’s very cute. I’m just feeling some tightness in my back, looking forward to just getting to connect and talk today. So some ease in my belly and openness in my solar plexus. Jess, thank you. Communicative Intent and Early InterventionSo you had emailed me and you had asked about resources, thoughts, ideas around communicative intent. I’m going to open up this email, if that’s alright with you, as I read it out loud. So you had said, “I’m sure you’ve spoken about this countless times. Along with our mental health therapist, I am co-leading a support group for families with autistic kids. Something that came up last meeting was the concept that everything kids do has a communicative value. I think this is a really simple concept, but it seemed more challenging to go into depth about this with parents”. You’d said, “I’m wondering if there is a specific resource or podcast episode of yours that might help explain this concept to parents.” I had shared with you that, yes, in fact, I do I have a podcast episode about this. It’s called Assuming Intentionality, Responding to Early Communication. And of course, so much of what I focus on here at Learn With Less® is with early intervention… Those earliest years of infancy and toddlerhood, zero to three. A lot is focused on parent education. Also educators and or therapists who are serving that population. This is both in a family centered approach or just the kids or just the parents. That was the nuts & bolts focus of that episode, but I want to hear anything that was helpful around listening. Before we started recording, we started talking about how so much of looking at communicative intent and assuming intentionality, assuming that there is intent behind any action, essentially, is that it actually doesn’t matter what age the child is. You and I share a lot of experience, having worked with autistic kids. We’ve both worked with assistive technology, specifically augmentative & alternative communication. Utilizing assistive technology within the realm of communication might look like a speech generating device that’s high tech. It might look like a picture based or visual communication system. You and I have both utilized things like that within our work. I want to hear what was helpful for you, specifically with your work, looking at the episode that I directed you to. Also, what else do you want to talk about? Challenges in Recognizing Communicative IntentJess: Oh, man. Okay, so my favorite takeaway was that there is an evidence base for responsive parenting. I love being able to say, “this is what the science says” when parents are asking me questions about how to help their kids talk more. And that’s not something I’ve read into! I know that more responsive parents tend… I’ve just seen that that they tend, their children tend to communicate more. That almost seems self evident, but to know that that is what the evidence shows was really good. I was like, Okay, I can look at this. I can be able to say that confidently, even if it seems obvious. This brings me to my questions that I want to talk about with you. Would you agree that it seems pretty obvious that responsive parents have more communication coming out of their kids? Does that seem to you an obvious thing, or was it a surprise to you? Or do you even agree with that? Ayelet: In my own personal experiences, both as a mother & in my professional experiences as a speech language therapist. Yes, I have, I have found that to be the case. I think primarily the reason is because joint attention& and communicating for a social purpose of any kind… Turn taking begets more turn taking! Once we have that skill, we see that oh, I say something. You say something. I look at something. You look at something. I reach out for something. You name it. I hand it to you. You say, thank you. It’s a continuous response, whether those responses are verbal or not. I think that is the piece. What I have found is that when any human feels heard, feels acknowledged and seen and supported, then they’re going to continue along that path. They’re they’re going to continue to have those attempts to to want more, because that is an innate human need. Jess: Yeah, so here’s my question. Well, maybe it’s another question. My experience… all of that resonates with me. It feels very natural. It feels very human, like we are communicating to kids and validating what they communicate back. What I’ve seen be a challenge is that sometimes… I feel like the challenge there is shifting the mindset of parents. And I’m wondering if my questions circle around that, specifically. What do you think gets in the way or prevents us, caregivers, parents, from recognizing that all communication has value. Recognizing that there is communicative intent happening. Like, what do you think gets in the way? Ayelet: That is, what a great question. Jess: Yeah, I thought, Okay, so why… that’s my pathology brain. Like, okay, we see a problem. Why? Ayelet: Right? What is getting in the way? I love that. I think that could be the title of our episode! Jess: Yes, what gets in the way? What prevents us from recognizing the communicative intent of children? Ayelet: Yeah, well, many things. First of all, I think in many ways, a lot of it comes down to time, energy, effort, education, understanding. Not just about child development, but about actually sitting with and being with and recognizing, again, basic human needs. And I think that some of this is because we are very busy as humans, right? We’re “keeping up with the Joneses,” whether or not we’ve opted out of multiple things. We are often trying to manage a home and a family. Maybe a co-parent or caregiver, and at least a job and all of the things. We want to feel like we have enough in a society that is built around needing to be more, do more, & buy more. So here’s the easy answer, we’re not going to be perfect. It’s impossible, right? This is a supremacist ideology. I think that’s part of it. I also think a big part of it has to do with what we are told is communication. What is valid and valuable. There’s so much pressure on many parents and caregivers to be raising the best child possible. So many people in our society value academic language, politeness markers. I think that’s a big part of it, too. So how that comes out often can be in the form of parents and caregivers sometimes sort of getting into that stuckness, of the interrogation: What’s this? What’s that, what’s this, what’s that? For the specific purpose of labeling, for this sort of performance: show me what you know. This, again, you’re not a bad parent for doing that. None of us are. I’ve done it! Jess: I do it all the time! Ayelet: We do it because we want our kids, our clients, to show us what they’re able to do, & to feel successful. Also, we want to make sure that we’re not just communicating for one specific purpose. We want to give our little people, or not so little people, in some cases, the opportunities to engage in communicative acts for a variety of purposes. Sometimes to protest, to request a social routine. Sometimes to greet, sometimes to acknowledge, sometimes to request an object – so many different pieces! I think what’s really important is to recognize that all of those (and so many more!) communicative acts can be done without speaking a single actual word. Jess: Absolutely. Ayelet: That is an attuning, I think. For many parents & caregivers who are not thinking about how their often pre or non-speaking child is communicating. For an educator how their student, for instance, is communicating. They’re looking at a particular piece & not taking the time to ground themselves. Not taking the time to really look at all of the whole environment, themselves. At them as the respondent, what the setting is, what’s happening around them, what the child might be interested in. I have an example, a memory that I have from when my own eldest was about a year old. I remember my mom was visiting. We had gone out to a meal, just the three of us. Myself, my child, and my mom. My kid was, at that time, very early stages, making one word utterances. He was reaching out, sort of pointing. Looking at somebody over in the restaurant. He said, “tah!” And I was like, oh, okay, yep, there’s a person over there. That’s their head, cool. And my mom, it was my mom, who realized, is he saying “hat?” The person was not actually wearing hat, they were wearing a head scarf. It was just so interesting because, as you may know, my go to with anything is: anything can be a hat, right? So then we grab the napkin from the table. We’re putting it around our heads & saying, Oh, is this a hat? This is like a hat. It’s a scarf. And he said “tah!” again. He repeated his word! He’s switching the consonants, but he was saying it. He was saying hat. Anyway, it just it was one of those experiences that you’re like, oh, wow, cool. This is a child who is absolutely paying attention to what’s happening. Is actually assigning a a symbolic language, a word. It’s a matter of looking at the environment, looking at the setting. Looking at what’s interesting to the child, looking at where the child is gesturing. Looking at how they’re doing it, what they might be commenting on. Deducing, “detectiveing,” investigating what is happening here, and only then might you notice. And then we had a whole conversation about it, and we played with the napkin, and we… Yeah, it just like, what a what a lovely thing. And if my mom hadn’t been there, I would have missed it, right? So we’re never going to be able to get it all the time. That’s an important thing to say as well. Jess: Yeah, I suppose, that perfectionism like, “Oh no, I missed it, It’s my fault.” One of my favorite books is “How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk.” There’s one for littles and one for older kids. That is one of their things. The best thing about being a parent is you have a million chances to do it again. You will never run out of chances to try again and do better. I am not a parent. Sometimes, I think that’s a good perspective to have, because it makes me have more questions about parenting. But that’s absolutely true. I think that it’s really funny, actually. We started out today by slowing down and noticing. I think that is actually what the answer to my question is, to some degree. We got there. It honestly took only about 10 minutes to get to! We all live under a supremacist capitalist system that puts pressures on us. External pressures that we are all subject to, and it is challenging. I really want to validate that to parents. It’s challenging to slow down and notice because you don’t always know! There’s a lot of that external pressure. One thing that I’ll do with parents, that I just started doing… I will have them playing with their kid. Playing in the way that (we know that it’s so much more than that), but also just play. And I’ll just sit them down. I’ll give them a piece of paper & say: I just want you to write down what you notice. Just as a practice. Even then, parents are like, Oh no, it’s a test. I’m like, nope, not a test. This is just practicing noticing. It is a hard thing to do. Ayelet: So hard, especially if you are not practiced in this. Importance of Slowing Down and NoticingJess: Another thing that that came up for me in my “noticing practice,” which is also very new… If it’s hard, then find the smallest step that’s easy that you can do. If noticing is hard, maybe just trying to slow down for a millisecond, that’s all you can do. That’s fine. Again. It’s not about perfection. Ayelet: It’s such an important piece of what we do. That slowing down, having dedicated time doing being in a practice of doing these things. It might be through play, through adding more language, just verbalizing, narrating, asking questions, answering your own rhetorical questions. Through musicality, whether it’s a rhythm or a nursery rhyme or a chant. Or play, or something you’re making up on the fly. Or whether it’s through movement, practicing visual awareness, perceptual awareness, practicing gross movement. Whether it’s a child with motor challenges. Or whether it’s a teeny tiny baby who is literally just trying to figure out where their body begins & ends in space. Whether it’s anybody in between. All of these pillars within the context of Learn With Less® of play, talk, sing, move, are, to me, those kinds of interactions that really give the opportunity for parents and caregivers. Also for educators and therapists, to do that work. To slow down, to attend, to acknowledge, to investigate, to pay attention. For instance, in a Learn With Less® class, that is the majority of what a class is, for caregivers & babies. Whether it’s happening through a song activity, it’s literally just the activity. Often it’s, all right, here’s a tune. You may be familiar with it. Now we’re going to just input a word for what you see your child doing. Maybe what you are doing, what the object is, what’s happening. Mabye how it feels, whatever it is. Find a word that is in the context of this. Those are the words you’re going to sing on or chant on. That is such a major part of what myself and other Learn With Less® facilitators do. It gives that dynamic opportunity for caregivers to notice. To do that work, of purposefully engaging in that way. Of course, you can do that in a therapy session. You can do that with your own child. You can do that in a educational setting, whatever it is. But yeah, just as an example having that practice of slowing down. Being intentional as a caregiver or practitioner so that a child can know that that is valued here. Jess: The words that come out of our mouth tell our kids what is valuable to us. I often… what I think… I don’t know how much time we have, and have so much I want to say about this! But I’ll just say that I find that one of the things I say over & over & over again when I talk to parents is… I want you to be thinking about directing their attention to where their child’s attention is. I’m often working with kids who are older, non-speaking. We’re working on the same things. Trying to engage together and validate all communication. I have to work pretty hard to sometimes get parents to attend to what their child’s attending to. To join in, rather than pull their child away to something else. I started describing it as… I want you to imagine that your kid has a minor’s headlamp and it’s on whatever they’re focusing on. Ayelet: I love that visual! Jess: They’re wearing that hat. And any word coming out of your mouth, it better be about what’s in that light. I want you to fill their world with words that show that you are attending to what they’re attending to. For kids when we say they don’t pay attention, or they’re not coming over to play. I’m like, okay, that’s fine. Our job right now, going back to that investigator, detective is to know what they’re focusing on. To know where their attention is. To attend to that with the phenomenal blessing that is our language skills as mature adults. I say that a lot! I think we’re already talking about the second question. What are the challenges that we have in shifting parent perspectives on this? We’re raised as we’re raised. We have our own experiences and expectations and different pressures on us from the world. A lot of valid fear from parents that if their kid doesn’t measure up, they will be subject to discrimination, harassment, violence. Especially if, I mean, I’m white. Marginalized families absolutely have more reason to be worried about what might happen. To want their child to meet certain expectations. But I’ve had success in saying, what are they looking at? Only talk about that as simple as that, that’s our practice for today. Ayelet: Yes! Also, parents ask all the time, how do I build my child’s attention skills? Jess: Oh, I could talk about attention for days. Ayelet: And that is, that’s how. Jess: Oh my gosh, that’s how. That’s how. Guess what? Sorry, you’ve got to talk about cars. Sorry, it’s boring! You want to build your child’s attention skills. Shout out to anybody out there saying that you can’t do that with anything other than attending to things that you like… Because that’s how it works. But, yeah, you gotta, maybe you gotta talk about minions forever. That’s how you build attention skills. I would say many of, if not most of the kids that I see. From a year and a half, all the way up to the oldest that I’ve seen… Attention is a component of it. That connects everything that we’re talking about today. When we talk about slowing down and noticing we are talking about resting our attention away from the million things out in the world and putting it on ourselves. And that’s that’s hard, that’s really hard. But when we’re supporting that with our kids, with our language, we’re helping them have the language to do that for themselves. Ayelet: Does that feel complete, Jess? I mean, for now? Jess: We could talk about all this stuff that I want to talk about. I feel like that’s yeah, that specific note, anyway, yeah, for sure, yeah. Connecting Communicative Intent to Broader IssuesAyelet: I want to talk about the fact that every one deserves a communication as a human right. Everyone deserves access to communication… To being heard. Whether that is your literal words, whether that is your viewpoints. Whether that is your narrative, what you are experiencing in the world. I think when we as healthcare, educational professionals are talking about the importance of this and not speaking out about those who are not receiving access to that, whose whose narratives, whose stories are not being told or are not being heard or are being gaslit, then we are doing a real disservice. You and I started to engage and interact one on one together through work around collective liberation and Palestinian human rights. I wonder, how can we connect these two things? Because they are absolutely related. Jess: Yeah, a couple of things. A, it is our job to as as much for our patients and our clients and our families. It is our job to be informed and be able to connect the dots for them. It is our job as people who live in the West, people who have privilege, to educate ourselves so that we can connect the dots. We have access to so much information, I believe we are required to do that. To lean in to when we notice that there’s perhaps a gap in our knowledge. Perhaps a disconnect between our values and our actions. That gets into real discomfort. I think that that’s probably something we’ve all experienced to a small degree. But when you practice medicine, as we do… If you work in education, if you work, gosh, in so many different areas, you swear to some values in medicine. We say that those values are universal. Like you said, communication is a human right. We have to be able to step back and be able to recognize that if we have these values and yet, we are able to look away from people whose rights are being violated in ways as horrific as genocide… We have to be able to introspect about why that is, and understand what that might tell us about us. Not that it makes us awful, bad, nasty people. It makes us people who live in a world, and work on that. I believe that’s required of us, as well. It’s not fun. And another thing that I’ll share with you that’s just directly read from my therapy. Speaking up and doing the right things, speaking up for rights, for human rights, for communication, for health care, for access to food and water, for the right to simply tell your own story. Doing the right thing doesn’t get you claps. It doesn’t get you cookies. Ayelet: And often comes at a cost. Jess: It often does. I was raised in a church, Protestant. I grew up with the mythology of Jesus who did all the right things. The mythology of what happened to that person. We have a very good example here in Christian culture. I’m atheist now, but that’s something most of us know. And yet I think that we think that it should be easy to connect the dots. To notice those uncomfortable things. To have those uncomfortable conversations, and it’s not. And that’s okay, and it’s okay, like you said, to not be perfect with it. I think that’s maybe another really important one. Ayelet: One of the things that is just feeling very alive in me, and that’s coming up from what you’re talking about, too, that very much connects all of this, is the idea of dehumanization. The idea of all communication being valid, all bodies being valid. When we only value certain people, certain neurotypes, certain bodies, certain lineages, certain ethnicities, certain identities, that is how we dehumanize others. And unless we understand that, in the case of a child who is either pre verbal or non speaking, that all of that is valid. There is value in all of those humans and all of those modes and modalities of communication. When we prioritize one over another, or only value one over another, that is how we end up in hierarchy. In systematic oppression and oppressive tendencies. And so until we are doing that work of understanding that base level of, “what is the ideology? What do we believe about certain people versus certain others?” Unless we’ve done that hard work, then we’re never going to see even the level of dehumanization that’s possible. Jess: That is a really good point, that all of these ideologies come from somewhere. None of them are natural. They’re learned. They’re all learned. And that undoing that starts with the relationships we have around each other. What more important relationship than when you have with your family and your children? Ayelet: Yeah, your community. Jess: It’s really hard to talk about. I find it really hard to talk about what I do and how I’m trying to help families without talking about big stuff. I think that that means that I’m doing it right. Even if it feels like I don’t quite know where it’s going. Sometimes I feel like… I don’t know if I said it already today, but that we’re pathologists for a reason. Our job is to figure out what is the source of the problems… Rather than spot treating like what’s the root cause of what we’re seeing. And that’s a lot, and if we work on that, it’s a lot more efficient. Yes, and that applies to the culture we live in and the world we’re in. Ayelet: Absolutely. What else would you like to talk about here today, Jess? Cultural Differences in Communicative IntentJess: I’ve got one more metaphor for you, if you want it, that I use a lot. Let’s see, the questions that I wrote down, we pretty much covered. In shifting parents framework, another thing that has been helpful is to talk about what speech therapy for articulation is, which is what we often people think of as speech therapy. Get them to say it right, which is a thing that I do and do quite well. But that’s quite different than communication therapy, if you want to call it that. And I describe them as different in that working on sounds is like kind of being a car mechanic. They got some… not broken pieces, but pieces that aren’t working quite right and need a little jiggle, tinkering. With the right approach, I can reach in and just fix it, six months or so. I can do that versus supporting a child’s language development, which is a wholly different thing. And I describe that as gardening, because can you pull a plant out of the ground? Can you force it to grow? No, you have plants, and maybe a certain plant is struggling. If you want it to grow, you have to make that ground be as fertile as humanly possible. Ayelet: You have to shift the environment. Tend to the environment. Make sure it’s in the right setting. Look at the context for everything. Give it the right amount of attention for it to thrive. And you are good with these metaphors! Jess: Another thing I was going to ask you about. So we’re talking about recognizing communicative intent and all of this stuff that ties back into like culture and expectations. I lived in the Pacific Northwest for my whole life. White English speaking, European ancestors. Very much like a monoculture here. I had a parent tell me when I was talking about some of this. Talking about descriptive language or something like that, parallel narrative talk and all that stuff. And she was like, Oh yeah, that’s what we do all the time. We’re Japanese. And I realized, I don’t know how much of this is just particular to my culture! I’m wondering if there are cultural differences, or, I mean, cultures that do this differently or better, or maybe we don’t know at all. Ayelet: I mean, I think what I tend to look at, or what I’ve noticed the most, are different kinds of patterns more around… Well, okay, a couple things. One is, I look a lot around at what kinds of caregiver relationships there are available to a child. Whether it’s just a nuclear family, or an extended family where you have lots of different adult and child or peer relationships. That’s something that I think you find often with more immigrant experiences. Or folks who are closer to an immigrant experience, regardless of, for instance, where family is from. And then another piece is looking at trauma! What is available to a caregiver in terms of how much of themselves can be present and attentive. I mean, that is a huge piece. It can come out in some moments and not others. But definitely is connected to the ways that we watch family dynamics play out. Jess: That’s actually, it’s maybe that’s a nice button. That’s making me think of the reason that I reached out to you about communicative intent. It’s what you just said about trauma, because my clinic, we’re very small, but we got a grant. We’re able to pay ourselves and some childcare folks to do a support group for families of autistic kids. They can come and bring their kids. We put them in one corner of the building. Everybody else hangs out. We turn the lights off when everybody gets to sit on the squishy pillows. It’s great, and it’s led by a mental health therapist. I wasn’t quite sure what it was going to look like. It is basically an hour of stress management techniques, just basics. Ayelet: That’s great. Jess: It is. And I’m thinking about what you just said about trauma and again, root causes. If we’re trying to work on what’s the root cause of difficulty, being able to slow it down or having the time to notice that’s a huge part. Not everybody has access to the support for that. But that is why we’re talking today. Ayelet: Yeah. And that absolutely is something that, number one can get in the way. It has the potential to get in the way of that connection, of seeing the communication in of itself. Also just gets in the way in general, between humans. When we don’t have access to the tools to reconcile, repair, heal, face traumatic experiences in our own lives… We are essentially bound to either get into similar experiences. We are bound to repeat them on ourselves, or enact them on others. Heavy stuff, heavy stuff, the stuff of life. Jess: The stuff of life. It is the human experience. Ayelet: Thanks so much. Jess, what a great conversation. I can’t wait to hear what other folks are taking away from this. Jess: Oh my gosh, this is like giving me so many other good questions and food for thought, too. Thank you. Ayelet: I love connecting with other professionals and listening to how they explain similar concepts! There’s always another little key ingredient that we can take away from each other. There’s so much value in having that sort of network of support listening to each other. Jess: We get so siloed, it’s the classic speech pathologist thing. I really appreciate this. This has been wonderful! Ayelet: Thank you for sharing so much of yourself here. Jess: You too! Ayelet: Yeah, thanks. All right, let’s leave it there. The post What Gets In The Way of Recognizing That All Communication Has Value? An episode with Jess Burchiel, M.A., CCC-SLP appeared first on Learn With Less.

A Co-Production from Learn With Less® and the Play On Words PodcastAre you constantly wondering if you’re doing enough as a parent? Do you feel pressure to “get it right” when it comes to your baby or toddler’s development? In this episode, In this co-produced episode, of the “Play On Words” podcast and the Learn With Less®” podcast, Ayelet Marinovich of  Learn With Less® joins host Beth Gaskill of Big City Readers. Ayelet Marinovich is a pediatric speech-language pathologist, parent educator, & founder of Learn With Less®. She’s the author of Understanding Your Baby & Understanding Your Toddler, 2 incredible resources that remind parents: you don’t need fancy toys or complicated activities—your everyday interactions are already powerful learning moments. We talk about: 🧠 Why you don’t need more stuff to help your child learn ✨ How to feel confident that you’re doing “enough” 👶 The surprising ways babies and toddlers learn best 📚 Simple, evidence-based ways to support early development 🎵 Why everyday routines (yes, even diaper changes!) are packed with learning opportunities If you’ve ever doubted yourself as a parent, this episode is your reminder: you are enough. 💛 Helpful Resources Related to This EpisodeThe Learn With Less® Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint Ayelet’s books: Understanding Your Baby & Understanding Your Toddler Learn With Less® Fundamentals Course Big City Readers Courses Ayelet’s Musical Album, Strength In Words: Music For Families Connect With UsAyelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Beth: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of The Podcast EpisodeBeth: Welcome back to the Play On Words podcast. I am so excited and a little bit nervous today to have Ayelet Marinovich here from Learn With Less® to talk about: Do kids really need toys to learn and thrive? If you don’t know Ayelet, she is a child development guru, parent, play based learning specialist, and speech therapist too, right? So many things, I’ll let you introduce yourself, but this is an episode (I already know) is going to be so great. So welcome to the show. Ayelet: Thank you so much for having me. Beth. It’s great to be here. Yay. Beth: Okay, so tell us a little bit about you and Learn With Less® for the people who might not know you! Ayelet: Sure. So again, I’m Ayelet. I have been a speech and language therapist since, gosh, 2009 / 2010. When I became a mom in 2014, I was far from where I grew up, which was here in California. My partner and I had moved to London, and so I was pregnant and had my first child there, across the pond. I was really looking for, number one, community. Number two, a way to utilize the knowledge that I have in my professional arena, and connect that with creating connection points with other new families. So I started leading caregiver and baby classes with my own child, just in my community, out of our home. I loved it so much because it was an opportunity to connect, to bring people together and, again, to share information that at least I knew. Obviously, the overwhelm of early parenthood is intense, and this was a place that I could feel confident. I could feel at least a little bit less vulnerable and and really share that information with other new parents and caregivers who I knew were feeling the same way. I just started leading these groups, and really facilitating these groups and utilizing that knowledge, and just expanding on the kinds of questions that I was getting and asking myself. What can I do to support and connect with this teeny, tiny human in my world? And yeah, that’s, that’s how it came to be. Beth: Wow. And so now, are you still leading them, or are you mostly training and coaching other people to lead them? Ayelet: Yeah, primarily I license and support other educator and therapist types to utilize the curriculum that I developed, to use in their own communities. This is amazing because it expands the impact that I can have exponentially, and really allows me to feel like I’m putting something into the world that is healing and helpful. Beth: It is. I even like the song on your podcast. Is that in – do you sing that in the class? Hello, everybody, I get it stuck in my head when I’m listening. I love singing it in my own house, like when I’m making dinner. So, okay, do you do miss teaching the in-person or the actual “caregiver & me” classes? Now that’s my growing pain, too: You want to have a bigger reach, but you kind of have to give a little! Ayelet: Yeah, and I do from time to time, often offer them virtually! I mean, it’s funny, right? Because when I started the licensing program, it was February of 2020, so there was, of course, a big switch to, I now need to ensure that other folks also are able to lead these virtually. I had actually been doing this since 2017 myself, for a variety of reasons. There has always been a need for virtual connection, and always will be. So I do still lead classes from time to time, especially when I’m getting that itch. Beth: Oh good, that’s kind of how I do it, too. I was just talking with someone yesterday, and they said, so you don’t get to be with kids anymore? I answered, No, I still do. I do, say, a once a month meetup, but it’s so hard because you think to yourself, I want to reach every kid and family! I think we align a lot on that – that is my big focus: community for families, whether they’re in school or in the baby stage. Originally I started because I saw so many parents having struggles with knowing how to advocate for their child in an IEP meeting, or like things like that. There needs to be a bridge between school and home: how to find your community, asked the right resources… and then my work expanded to people who don’t need IEPs! Yeah, it’s such a need. Community is such an important part of being a parent! Ayelet: Yes, especially in these uncertain times. Beth: I know! Every post I do, I ask myself, does this matter? The world is on fire! I know you are a big advocate of using what you have. I mean, your literal company is called Learn With Less®, right? I once posted something many years ago, and I still think about it, because I kind of got in trouble, but I posted something that a popular toy subscription company had sent me – this little toy that was a box and it had tissues in it, and you pull them out. I was like, so cute. And I made a post that said, and also, this actual box of tissues does the exact same thing. There’s no need to buy this. Ayelet: I literally have one sitting behind me, yes! Beth: The reason I got in trouble is because a toy store owner said, I’m so mad at you! but I said, I’m sorry, there’s enough for people that want to buy toys and people to know that they don’t need, too. So can you talk a little bit about what role toys actually play in child development? What Role Do Toys Play in Child Development?Ayelet: I mean, first of all, I like to say this whole the baby industry is sort of a “The Emperor has no toys” situation, right? I am not anti toy. My children have always had toys, either that I have bought or that other family members or people in our community have given them. But my my kids also have always known that the wooden spoon and the paper towel roll are equally as entertaining and an equally valid developmental tool. The power of any tool or toy is not inherently on the box that says “this is an educational toy.” Anyone can put that tag on, say, cupcake liner and say “educational toy.” It’s the actual interaction with that toy and with others that makes the difference. I think it also really comes down to the power of connection! And at Learn With Less®, we have four pillars that we want to define around creating more connection, more opportunities for interaction, more vocabulary, more modeling, more reciprocity. So those are, as I define them here at Learn With Less®, play, talk, sing and move. And I’m happy to go into that, if you’d like. Beth: Oh, please! How Does Play Support Early Learning?Ayelet: Yeah! So around play, we want to define that with attention to the following principles. First, open ended play, meaning we want to encourage caregivers to really engage in the exploration of the environment and everyday objects. Also, being playful can simply mean exploring, experimenting, offering varied environments and varying objects! Most importantly, we want to actually help the adults in the room see that being playful is a different way of looking at what we as grown ups come to define as play. Many adults in the room come into the idea of playing with their child as following set of rules. For instance, we hit the ball, we run, we score. Or it can be thought of as a procedural exercise: we open the book, we read the page, we turn the page, repeat. Encouraging caregivers to play with no specific end goal in mind can really require them to reframe their entire thinking. I think a lot of your audience are educators or therapists, as well. So in a therapeutic context, you’re going to want to weave whatever skill you’re working on into the play. For instance, it might be that a professional is working on turn taking, eye gaze, joint attention, imitation, first words, or gesture use. We want to encourage and create an environment where that caregiver is encouraged to be flexible and accepting of what is happening, what might happen next, and what their child is doing. Finally, within that play, we want to ensure safety with a variety of materials. Beth: Yeah. So, okay, I’m imagining. I always try to work on remembering that not everyone has all of the information. If I’m the furthest point out, I’m imagining that I’m a parent. So how do I play with my kid? Say, I’m sitting in my living room and we have I’m drinking my coffee, and he likes the plastic lid that I took off from the coffee shop we stopped at this morning. How do we play with that? I think a lot of parents also think that play means I have to “be silly,” which I think maybe we can correct that. I think people want a specific goal. So if they’re asking, so what do, how do I pick what topic I want to do with this lid? And, you know, then they just get stuck. Do I just say, the lid is on my head? Ayelet: Well, actually, yeah, I mean, my default is always… everything is a hat! Beth: Okay, so that is a good move. Ayelet: It’s a great method, yeah! I mean, it’s really about following the child’s lead. If your child is interested in that plastic lid, then, yeah, what are they doing with it? All you need to do is talk about what they’re doing, how are they engaging with it? Oh, it’s light! Yep, you can pick it up. I wonder if there’s something heavy over here? Just speak about what they are doing with it, or how it feels, or what it looks like. Engage with that. Of course, we can always expand, meaning take what they are doing and add more language. I can imagine say, pushing a finger down and sort of popping it up. There’s so much that we can either lead with and model, or simply just follow what our child is doing and how they are interested in it. Beth: I love it. Okay, that’s easy. Do you have a time frame around that? I know we would say, no, just follow their lead. But so many people ask, how long do I sit? Should I introduce something else? I think we’ve over analyzed things so much as a society that people feel like they’re not doing anything right. When actually, you’re worrying about it is the only problem! Ayelet: I think parenting is such a practice of of being able to sit with. I will be the first person to say that I absolutely still struggle with that. My kids are eight and 11 now. But I think it’s about paying attention to what’s happening in the environment. It’s looking at, is the child still engaged? Great. Continue to reinforce that engagement. Are they finding that they’re done? Great. We’re all done with this. We can move on to the next thing. And like you said, it’s very hard, I think, for families to trust themselves. So much about of what this is all about, what I try to achieve at Learn With Less®, is fostering confidence and competence. It’s about helping families feel confident and competent that they can be with, and facilitate, and engage in play. The means to do that are often through these four pillars of play, talk, sing, move, which are again, just an open ended opportunity to enjoy your child for a few minutes. I think another thing is, like you said, people think that play is “I have to be silly. I have to do pretend play. I’m not good at that. I don’t want to do that. Or I don’t even have more than 10 minutes a day to dedicate to sitting and totally being present.” But I think the example you gave,Beth, is so good. Because it’s literally: Okay. I’ve sat down with this maybe lukewarm cup of coffee. I’m finally getting a few minutes to sit with it and with my child. So much can happen within those in between times. A lot of what I talk about at Learn With Less® is utilizing those everyday routines and tiny rituals of the day. That’s your gold! We don’t need to necessarily dedicate 20 minutes a day just sitting with our child. We are literally doing it during a diaper change, when you’re putting your child’s shoes on or sweater on, when you are going out to get the mail. All of those little things are the opportunities! Beth: Those tiny moments are often the times we’re rushing through to get to the next part – but that’s when everything’s happening! I also when you were just talking, I thought, okay, I went from asking, people are going to ask, “what do I do?” Okay, so say they want to play with this lid, and can we give them play? And then when you renamed the pillars again, play, talk, sing and move, then, I got to thinking about what happens next! So maybe you’re pushing the lid, and then you’re going to chase it. Then you get it, and then you are popping the thing, and you’re going, “pop, pop, pop, pop goes the top,” and just those little moments. So maybe walk us through, let’s keep this as the example, and through the rest of the pillars. How Do We Create A Language Rich Environment For Babies and Toddlers?Ayelet: Okay, so we’ve started with play, so then we can discuss talk. Like you said, “pop, pop, pop, pop goes the top.” That’s both talk and sing! You’re saying vocabulary and you’re making it into some rhyming scheme, you’re giving it a rhythm or a melody. So for talk, we want to remember that caregivers – just by having discussions with their potentially pre verbal baby or toddler, just by making those observations alongside their child, they’re creating a language rich environment. Let’s think about this idea of “repetition with variation” as the gold standard. That’s about helping them see the value in all those everyday experiences, like the diaper change or popping the lid of the coffee topper. These are all these are opportunities for repetition, because maybe you do go get a cup of coffee every morning. And tiny variations that you can make with a change of pace, with a change of attention, with the addition of a choice making opportunity, with a little song, like “pop, pop, pop goes the top” and so on. That’s it! We also want to help caregivers remember that the drill and kill kind of “what’s this? What’s this?” labeling that many parents sort of get stuck in, because they want their child to show them how much they know… This is just one of the many reasons we communicate! Labeling is just one way we can talk about things, but so is asking questions, making requests, greeting… You could hold up that lid and say hello, and then move the little topper that goes in and out and that can be its mouth. Suddenly you have a puppet! Oh my goodness, how cute! So many other parts of joint intentional acts, socially interactive acts, and behavioral regulation acts are all talk, creating that language rich environment. We all communicate using a variety of means and modes, not just with words! Remember alll those precursors to language, all those additional ways, like eye gaze, facial expressions, gestures, moving closer to an object. So maybe your child is pre verbal, and they’re not going to say something, but you might move that funny little top that’s become a puppet closer to their face, and they might move towards it too. Then all of a sudden, when they’re not expecting it, BOO! There’s so much that we can infuse with these silly little objects that often end up in our recycling containers, that are opportunities for engagement and modeling our own curiosity, talking about our own feelings, imitating their vocalizations, verbalizations, and movements. These are all supporting various areas of communication. And caregivers are the primary language models. They are the ones modeling what they want their child to then imitate. So we want to help them model a wonderful variation of vocabulary, and formation of sentences, etc. We also want them to model positive behavior of positive communication styles. We want them to talk to their children, around their children in the ways that you know they want them eventually to do the same to them. So that is how I sort of define talk. How to Use Musical Experiences to Support Early DevelopmentAnd then we have sing. Often, this is the one people have the most difficulty gathering the resources and just doing. I want to really encourage people to remember that this pillar of sing doesn’t necessarily mean singing a specific song with specific vocabulary, singing every day or in every way with their child. There’s so many ways to be musical, just like “pop, pop, pop, pop goes the top,” because music is so powerful. Giving caregivers ways to feel at ease, trying things out, and giving children ways to trying things to try things out, by modeling our own imperfection, and using music to add a silly element to a simple routine. This coffee lid being a wonderful example. Another one might be the diaper change. STINKY DIAPER! It’s time for a new one! Or my personal favorite, that came out of a moment of brilliance. “Is there a poopoo in there / Is there a poopoo in there / Was it only air / Or is there poopoo in there? Beth: Oh my gosh. I love that. I think parents and caregivers need this permission that being silly actually is helpful! Ayelet: Yeah, right, when you have the capacity! Beth: Yes, yes. So I just thought about when you were using talk and sing to model both communication and stuff that you want them to do. I thought of the little tiny Tim song, the froggy. I had a little froggy / his name is Tiny Tim. I always do at the burp, he had a bubble in his throat, and we do a big burp, and then I always go, “and what should he say? Excuse me!” In those moments, because yeah, it can be fun to do Tiny Tim and there’s a lot of language benefits and literacy benefits and all of the things and that. But also, you can add in manners! There’s so much, I think, that people often also get lost in that questioning, what does a dog say? What does a cow say? I like to remind grown ups to try to think about yourself in conversations. Are you just asking questions? That’s not a good conversation! If you’re just asking a dozen questions at someone, that’s gonna get really boring for the other person! You have to leave that space for the dialog. I think that’s a good reminder. Ayelet: Sometimes just pausing at the end, towards the end of a sentence or a poem or a chant or a melody of a song is such an effective thing! And that’s actually, there’s a name for that. It’s called the cloze procedure, where you’re pausing and what do we do next? We… buckle our seat belt, or whatever it is. When you have that sort of repetition and routine, you you allow them to know, number one, what’s coming next, and number two, offer an opportunity for them to either verbally or gesturally, take the next step and fill in that gap. Beth: I love it. That is great. I also love to do that when I’m talking about teaching rhyming. I’m sure you know the book, Little Blue Truck. I could read it in my sleep. My examples always go, horn went beep / Engine purred / friendliest sound you ever…. And I always am coaching parents and teachers and caregivers that even if they’re not gonna know the rhyme yet, or even if they don’t, just leave a little bit of time, and then if the child is not saying it, then just fill it in. But giving that amount of time is going to help them start to realize, Oh, those two words are rhyming words. Oh, there’s a word that goes there. Oh, that’s not just one sentence, those are separate words… Ayelet: Yes! I mean, I’m just imagining this whole thing, and visually, I’m seeing myself cupping my hand against my ear. “Friendliest sound you ever…” put the hand against the ear, and that’s a gestural opportunity for someone, for a child who’s maybe non verbal, pre verbal, to to give that that gesture of “heard.” Beth: I love that. Okay, amazing. So then move is next, yeah, great. Tell us about move. How to Use Movement to Support Early Child Development Ayelet: Number one, movement is life. Their child learns about everything by learning how their body moves, where it is in space, by solving that problem of how to balance and lift, and figuring out elements of force & gravity, and of becoming the scientists that they are through movement. So we want to help caregivers remember that even with a tiny baby or a child with motor challenges, they can consider various movement planes. Whether it’s during tummy time or during a dance party or a lullaby, whether it’s to stimulate or to regulate. Also, exploration cannot be contained. It is learning. So we might have some movement in and out of the location where the session started. We might be sitting up or laying down on the floor. We might be mouthing something or exploring how one surface is different from the next. Movement is also connected to gesture, so pushing, pulling, raising a hand, waving all of those things. Even in that example, earlier that you were giving of pushing that coffee lid on on the floor, for instance, with a little toddler: you can have them flick it with their finger, or with their whole hand, or their the tops of their fingers, or with a foot. There’s so many ways to integrate movement, and we know that early gestural communication is also linked to this movement as well. It’s all connected. And I want to also just name out loud that all of these things, play, talk, sing, move. There’s overlap with all of them, of course. Just gonna say that. So it’s not like you can, you know, check one off the list and be done with it. It’s an ebb and flow. You’re always playing. All of this is play, but how can you infuse more playfulness, more language, more melody or rhythm or and more movement into your everyday moments with your child. Also, those four pillars are how we support cognition, communication, motor and sensory development and social/emotional development. That is how it happens! It’s sort of this developmental matrix that I like to talk about: there are ways that you can play that support cognition. There are ways that you can play that support communication. There are ways that you can play that support motor and sensory development, etc, etc. And then same goes for all of the other pieces. Beth: Yeah. I was just thinking, we love the song, zoom, zoom, zoom. And in that song, you’re doing all the things, because you’re doing, zoom, zoom, zooming. Yeah, we’re flying to the moon, and then when you do blast off and you lift the baby in the air, it’s playful, it’s movement. You’re flying them around the room, even the part if you want to take a trip, climb aboard my rocket ship, has talk in it. There’s singing… So if your baby wants you to sing, zoom, zoom, zoom 10 times. Guess what? You just did all of the components! Ayelet: Exactly. All you need to do. And maybe they’re telling you that they want you to do, zoom, zoom, zoom by moving their hands in that zooming way that is representative of that song. To me, it’s really, you know, it’s not about you getting to show off all your cute therapy toys or getting to use your laminator as a provider, but for every single material that you use as a provider or a therapist or educator, for instance, if you’re bringing something into the home or you’re providing materials within a group, or you’re using what’s already there, try to think of the most basic version. In our use of everyday items, we’re educating caregivers that they don’t need what you have, what you bring in, they can use what they already have in their own homes, regardless of how “much” or how “little” they have. Our caregivers are a diverse set of people and children who may or may not be accustomed to playing with a variety of materials. So I want to address this too, right? Folks maybe started a speech therapy session or a developmental class maybe already having spent the morning in a cardboard box or the kitchen cabinets. OR, that caregiver may be completely opposed to their child using their their kitchen as a play space, and that’s fine! That is their right. If they’re not comfortable, you find another way, another material, another space. Because, again, we’re building family capacity, family confidence and family competence. Beth: Amazing. So would you say, if, let’s say a therapist is listening to this. The question is: what is your favorite tool that you can find in someone’s house? A Speech Therapist’s All Time Favorite Developmental Tool In Your HomeAyelet: Ooh, the favorite? That’s a fun one. I think the salad spinner is one of my all-time faves. Beth: Wow, I was not expecting that! Ayelet: Yeah, my kids still, if they see the salad spinner… again, they are eight and 11 years old. They will take it out. They’ll just push down that topper. It’s such a fun, very regulating activity. The sound of it, the pushing of the topper is great. You can put things in, take them out, tap it. It goes round and round. There’s so much vocabulary. There so much opportunity for a musical element. It is a movement activity. Fine motor, yeah. Beth: Great one. Ayelet: And, of course, there are multiple levels of hats, right? The top is a hat, the bottom is a hat. The netting section is a hat. Beth: So, wow, lots of hats. Ayelet: When in doubt, it’s a hat. Beth: Yeah, when in doubt it’s a hat! Do you have any practical shifts you can give to caregivers to help them shift their mindset from entertaining their child to supporting independent play? How to Support Independent Play In Young ChildrenAyelet: building attention is done through helping children see the creative aspects within what they have in front of them. When you are engaging with those everyday objects, whether it’s the coffee lid or a diaper itself, or whatever it is you are helping them with, see the magic and the wonder in all of those things, and see the value in those things. What the research says is that one way to support attention and independence in young children is actually through engagement. So it’s a little bit counterintuitive, but that is literally what we can do. The more little moments that you can spend in engagement with your child, the the more actually that fosters their independence and their ability to see playful opportunities everywhere. Beth: Yes, that is in deep alignment with one thing that I I talk about. I have a course at Big City Readers, learn to draw, drawing to writing. It’s a progression, it starts with just drawing, and then you’re writing words. And some parents will say, Okay, I put it on and my child is it’s for four and five and six year olds. The child is watching it, but they’re not doing it. What should I do? I always say, set up two spots, put it on and don’t say anything. You just do the class. You sit and you draw with me, and you write with me. And you don’t need to invite them. They see that there’s a spot for them if they want to come over there, but show them that you’re doing it. If you’re like watching TV and you say, Okay, you do this, or you know you’re doing something. They want to be close to you. They want connection with you. So if you’re doing it and not pressuring them, they’re probably going to be interested in what you’re doing. Ayelet: Yes, absolutely. The Parental Pressures of Keeping Up With the Right ToolsBeth: What advice would you give to parents or caregivers who feel pressure to keep up with trends of toys and things, especially with social media. I get a lot of messages saying, this new reading curriculum came out. Do I need it? My answer is: You have taken Big City Readers classes. Those are the tools you need. That tool that that new reading game, is not going to teach your child anything more than you know already! You don’t need another tool. You are the one that teaches your child. That tool is not magical. Do you have any advice on people that are trying to keep up? Ayelet: I mean number one, don’t be afraid to opt out. I’ve gotten much better at that over the years. Beth: Why is it so hard? How to Opt Out and Declutter Your Digital LandscapeAyelet: It is so hard because we live in a capitalist society that tells us that more and more and more is always better, that you need to be more, do more, and buy more to be the “best” parent or therapist that you can be. And the the the secret in that is that you do already have everything you need to support and connect with tiny humans in your life. That is the gold. And it is, it’s very hard to remember that. But if you need permission, here it is, you literally have everything you need. It’s probably in your recycling container. It’s in every single room in your home, and it’s everywhere that you go, if you are taking a walk with your tiny human, there is grass, there are spider webs, there are cracks in the concrete. All of that is, is the tool of supporting early language, early learning in general. Beth: Wow, I love it. I Okay. What would you say to the parent or caregiver who is overwhelmed by clutter? Where should they start in simplifying their play space. Ayelet: I’ve always been a big fan of toy rotation. Something children haven’t seen in a while suddenly takes on meaning and excitement and wonder, and it’s because they haven’t seen it in a while, or they forgot what joy it brought them. Even now , my 8 and 11 year old do this if they catch wind of a box we have in the garage that’s going to another family or for donation! Even if you have, say, a closed bin of stuff, or a closet full of stuff, bringing just a few things out at a time, and just observing your child, looking at what what is exciting for them or interesting to them. And if you want to do that on a weekly basis or a monthly basis, there’s no right way, again. That’s a good reminder: there’s no right way for any of this. Anyone who tells you that number one, they’re a parenting expert, or that this is the one, be all, end all solution, has something to sell you, right? I think really just reminding folks that they literally already have all of the tools they need, they probably need less than what they have depending on the family and community that we’re talking about. Just giving that permission to to Learn With Less®, is it. Beth: I think that’s a really good reminder. You have what it takes. You don’t need these extra things. It’s hard to remember, though! Ayelet: It is. Well, one of, one of the things that I want to offer to your audience is what I call the Learn With Less® infant and toddler development blueprint, which you can find at learnwithless.com/blueprint, and it goes through everything that we covered today. It’s everything around those four pillars of play, talk, sing, and move, how they connect to early development, and how you can support that. So that is a gift that I would be happy to share with your audience so you can keep it top of mind. Beth: I like to remember whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed by anything, not just in this developmental world, that social media – back to the keeping up thing – you wouldn’t have 200 people in your house talking to you and giving you advice. Scrolling and watching videos from 200 people saying you should do this. You should do this. I always like to suggest picking like the three to five people that really align with me right now doesn’t have to be forever. I say, you can unfollow me if I’m causing you stress, because you can’t, in this season, do these things with your child, but pick three to five and just focus on that and don’t look at anything else. Ayelet: Decluttering, decluttering that digital landscape is also an important piece. Beth: It is. I need to work on it as a daily practice. Ayelet: Yeah, for sure, I’m there with you.  Beth: Ok, I have two questions for you that I like to ask my guests. The first is, what are you currently reading? Ayelet: Oh, what am I currently reading? Ooh, what am I currently reading! This is a good one. Beth: I surprised you with this, because, as we talked about before we started the podcast recording, I was asking, how do you keep up? You’ve been doing this for almost 10 years, and I forgot that I have segments, and because I haven’t been I’ve been so irregular. I realized, oh yeah, it’s been a month since I recorded an episode. I forgot. Ayelet: Yes, I’m reading a couple of books, which tends to happen. One is Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer, a beautiful book. I’m listening to it on audio, and it’s her actually reading it. I love when that happens. Her subtitle is: indigenous wisdom, scientific knowledge and the teaching of plants. It’s a really beautiful book. Beth: Oh, that sounds amazing. Ayelet: Yeah. And then the other one is called the Trail Guide to the Torah of Non-Violence by Rabbi Lynn Gottlieb, who’s a wonderful Jewish spiritual leader and anti racist guide. So yeah, those two things on my reading list. Beth: Oh I may have to link those too. And okay, this one’s kind of tricky. So I’ll give you a minute if you need to think about it. But everyone that listens to this podcast seems to be from the same-ish generation. So I started asking, what is one thing that you miss about elementary school? It’s different now than it used to be. And you know, some people have said book covers. Lisa Frank pens have been mentioned. Oh, market days, which seems to be only certain population in the US had market days. Ayelet: I want to know what that is! Beth: It was a fundraiser for the school, like, once a month, and you could put an order for market days, and it was very novelty items, but not good at all, like french toast sticks and these little, tiny mini frozen pizzas. And it would raise money for the school. A percentage of the orders from market days would go to the school, and but only about 60% of people that I’ve mentioned that to knew what it was, and they’re like, Oh yeah, but the French go sticks from it were so good! Ayelet: That’s really funny. Two things come to mind. One, and this is ironic, because my eight year old is is now begging to do this, which we will do. Don’t worry. Lemonade stands.So bringing it back, yes. The other one… and maybe this is more, a little bit more middle school, but mix tapes. Beth: Yes, oh my gosh. I actually bought a used car a couple years ago, and there was a mixed CD in the and I found it like a year later. I was like, this is someone’s mixed tape! Ayelet: Yes, so much love and intentionality goes into that. Oh gosh, yes. You know, there’s always a good playlist, of course, but the actual sitting down. And again, I was born in 1981 so cassette tapes were my jam, literally. But sitting down, often recording a song from the radio literally going, pressing record at exactly the right time. Yeah, amazing. Beth: Yeah, wow. I do remember that, just like, brought me back. I remember what I had one that was written on it in pink marker. And I remember packing it to go to college, it was my favorite thing. Ayelet: Yes – I have one from summer camp back in the day that I still treasure. Beth: Oh, I love that. Wow. Where’d you go to summer camp?  Ayelet: I went to Camp Tawonga, which is near Yosemite, yeah, fun place. Love it. Beth: Well, okay, thank you so much for being on this episode. I can’t wait to share it with everybody and link all of your things that you mentioned. Where can people find you? Ayelet: Yeah, at learnwithless.com, at Learn With Less® on all the social platforms, I hope! I mean, yeah, by the time this episode comes out. Yeah. I’m also on blue sky @learnwithless, as meta implodes, definitely at Learn With Less® you can find me almost everywhere, sharing information, ideas, permission to to put it down and opt out. And, yeah, lots of ideas and fun. I love social media because it literally can be so social. And so if you’re on there, and you hear this and want to connect, please do – love to chat with you in the DMs! Beth: Yay. Well thank you so much! Ayelet: Thank you, Beth! The post Am I Doing Enough? Understanding Your Baby & Toddler appeared first on Learn With Less.

You’ll always know how to support a young child’s development with a laundry basket, a cardboard box, or a dishtowel!On this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, Ayelet discusses how a simple shift in our understanding of what we can view as “educational materials” or “toys” can help us see how little we actually need to buy… And also how much power there is in opening up our own eyes to the wonder of play, as seen through a young child. Are you a new parent or caregiver wondering what you really need to support and connect with your baby or toddler? Or are you a professional who serves new families as a developmental therapist, early childhood educator, or other professional in the perinatal space? This episode and our related resource, Connect Learn Play, is for you! Helpful Resources Related to This EpisodeConnect Learn Play Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program The Emerging Parent Connect With MeAyelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of The Podcast EpisodeHi there. I’m Ayelet Marinovich, and you’re listening to Learn With Less®. Today, I wanted to share a little bit about a very exciting new resource that we have just released here at Learn With Less®, in collaboration with my friend and colleague, Miranda Zoumbaris at The Emerging Parent. Miranda and I attended the American Speech Language and Hearing Association conference back in November 2023, and at that convention hall, we had a exhibit booth for Learn With Less®. One of the fun giveaways that I had created was a series of postcards. On the front was an image of an everyday object, like a funnel or a laundry basket or a box. On the back there were a series of ideas for how you could use that everyday, simple object (a commonly found household item) to support connection and development through the use of play, language, music or movement. These are the four pillars of Learn With Less®: play, talk, sing and move. Now, I had created these as a giveaway, and they were sort of a testing ground for the kinds of fun things that might be useful for both professionals serving young families as well as new parents and caregivers themselves. What happened was pretty hilarious. Everyone was getting them as giveaways, and they were asking where they could buy the product. So Miranda and I got to work creating this new, exciting resource for all of you, and we call it Connect Learn Play. What does Connect Learn Play do? Basically, the promise is that you’ll always know how to support a young child’s development with a laundry basket, a cardboard box or a dish towel. Connect Learn Play is a resource for parents and caregivers of young children and for practitioners working with zero to five year olds. They are digital, printable, infant, toddler and preschool aged ideas to provide simple, enriching ways to support early development through play, language, music and movement, using everyday items, helping you to Learn With Less®. What Does It Mean to Connect Learn Play?I want to give you a little bit more information about what Connect Learn Play is, and why it is a useful resource for you. So essentially, it’s your invitation to stress less, to need less and spend less of your time and money so that you can feel more confident, be more responsive, and create more connection. So, picture this: you’re sitting on the floor with your tiny human. You’re trying to figure out what to do to maximize the 20 minutes between the time you’ve gotten home and the time you’ve got to start getting ready for the next meal. You take out your devil device and start scrolling through Tiktok or Pinterest or IG, or whatever the latest idea rabbit hole where you’re currently following the latest parenting or early childhood influencer. Everything you find requires materials that are not within arm’s reach. And everything requires time you don’t have. Everything requires pre-planned brain space that you don’t have. And in the meantime, your child has found the curtain above them. What do you do next? A, pull your child away from the curtain again and again. B, distract them with one of the five toys you got suckered into buying from this year’s best toys to buy for kids under five. C, join your child at the curtain after recalling the idea about using long fabrics on the Learn with Less® Connect Learn Play prompt yesterday. You can play peek a boo. Or you can talk about the color or texture of the curtain, or what you see outside the window. You could sing a song about hiding and seeking. And you could follow your little one around as they move behind the curtain. Listen, you get to decide! Connect Learn Play cards are a classic resource from Learn With Less®. They’re designed to prompt you to start thinking about ways to connect the dots between what a child is showing interest in, between the relationship between caregiver and child. And to connect the dots between the literal neurons in a young child’s brain that enable them to grow, learn and thrive without being prescriptive, overly structured or requiring of any specific toy. Connect Learn Play helps parents and caregivers make the connection between a child’s interests and strategies used to support development, whether that child is experiencing a delay, is right on target or is ready for more. If you are a parent, a caregiver or a provider of developmental services, then Connect Learn Play is for you! As with all the resources we create here at Learn With Less®, we use the four-pillar framework of the Learn With Less® curriculum (as I mentioned, play, talk, sing and move) to address four major areas of infant and toddler development: cognitive, communicative, motor and social and emotional development. Toys and more materials take up, extra space, cost more and sometimes even prevent us from following a young child’s lead and responding to what they’re interested in at the moment. So, let’s get real. As a mother, a pediatric speech language therapist, and as a coach for practitioners using the Learn With Less® developmental curriculum, I am certainly not anti-toy. I say, do what works for you. But the idea that you need to buy anything in particular to support a tiny human is not only flawed, but also deeply inequitable. How To Support Early Development With Everyday Routines and Everyday ItemsSupporting development and connection for young children can be simpler than we think. Families need to know how to make use of the natural routines and everyday interactions in front of them. The idea that there’s an inherent developmental value in an object classified as an educational toy is, quite frankly, a delusion. The truth is, you already have the resources to give young children the right stimulation, play, and interaction to thrive – whether or not your toy closet is bursting at the seams. The items in our homes that we already have often hidden in plain view are powerful learning tools that can support all areas of development. So just imagine, providers and practitioners: instead of spending your precious time pre-planning sessions, hauling that big old therapy bag around, wondering how to do bagless therapy routines based intervention and how to center parent education in your work with young families. You feel confident responding to the parent or caregiver and the child in the moment. You feel rooted in the routine you step into using what the family already has and relying on your own set of skills, knowledge and observations instead of a particular toy. And you feel relieved to have a quick reference guide to use an object the family already has on hand in either printed or digital format so families can generalize and carry over what you practiced in the many, many days and hours while you’re not there. Now for families, imagine this instead of the constant looming guilt that you’re not doing enough or that you don’t have that special toy or specific material in order to support your kids, brain, language, muscles, emotional needs, I’m looking at those very expensive toy subscription boxes in your social media feed. Instead of all those feelings, you have ideas for play and interaction using what materials, time and energy you already have. You have confidence. You’re doing enough for your young child’s physical and mental development each day. And you have more valuable interactions using the tools at your fingertips to play and engage in enriching activities that support the connection between you. Finally, you also have access to ideas on the go wherever you are with a digital download. What exactly do I get with Connect Learn Play? So what this is, is access to over 100 ideas for play with 25 everyday items. It is a simple digital download. You’ll be provided with both postcard-sized and full page handouts, in case you want to print a physical copy for easy use or easy sharing with families. For families, you can easily save to a folder on your phone, for instance, print it out and place one on your fridge. And for providers and practitioners, you could text or email an idea to a family with whom you work. Connect Learn Play can be used during sessions as handouts or cards. They can be provided as supplemental material after. You’ll receive a link to a digital download with all 25 cards in English. Currently, we’re still working on Spanish and Arabic. As a parent or caregiver, or as a provider, you can save these to a folder on your device or print them out for quick reference. Just as you’d refer to a cookbook for a recipe, you could check out what you might do with the ingredients you have on hand. Once you’re using these ingredients regularly, you’ll start to see the power of everyday items. Connect Learn Play can go alongside materials you might use as a clinician, for instance, mental health or developmental therapist, as an early childhood educator, home visitor and or a licensed Learn With Less® class facilitator. See Play Through A Child’s EyesI want to share with you one thing that a current Learn With Less® facilitator, parent of multiple young children who have attended Learn With Less® classes themselves, with me as a facilitator, and who are now in preschool and beyond… I want to share with you what Rachel Kammeyer has to say about the power of Connect Learn Play. “The most powerful thing is that, like, this veil gets lifted of our adult perspective of the use of an object. And then once you unsee one thing, like a garden hose, you start to unsee it everywhere. You’re open to how a child explores it, versus our expectation of how we use it. Yeah, it’s amazing! So the preschool I go to is very Learn With Less® in the sense that we use a lot of everyday objects for our activities, and one little girl was touring yesterday. There are these little sticks that look like golf tees, and we have 12 or 15 little things to put them in. And this was, like, this little girl’s jam. She was just putting in and taking out and lining them up. And it was fine motor. It was cognition. It was so beautiful. And the mom was like, How do I buy these? And I’m like, “Oh, do you have hot rollers at home? You can do the same thing. She can put them up and put them right down on this.” And she’s like, I do, and I haven’t used them in forever! She’s like, I never would have thought of that. I’m like, I have been trained in the art!” I love that from speech-language therapist and Learn With Less® facilitator. Rachel Kammeyer, Thanks, Rachel. So again, who this is for: Connect Learn Play is for families with or expecting infants, toddlers and preschoolers. It’s for individual providers serving families in a home based, clinic based, school based and/or medical setting, and it’s for organizations serving families. So no more scrolling Pinterest trying to find the perfect activity to set up for your child. No more digging through your therapy bag to find the perfect toy to invite playfulness into a session. Again, there is a simpler, more equitable way to support tiny humans without needing the fancy toy subscription. Connect Learn Play is the perfect, simple resource that allows you to offer a perfect blend of child led and structured play for tiny humans to thrive. Here’s the thing: when you learn to recognize the tools you already have to boost your child’s development, you are able to maximize the time you have with a young child. You’re empowered to get it right, and you’re able to unlock the power of everyday routines and everyday objects to figure out how to play with your tiny human go ahead and grab Connect Learn Play. Over at learnwithless.com/connectlearnplay. We cannot wait to hear how you’re using Connect Learn Play, and we look forward to hear what you think! Wishing you more great moments with what counts. The post Connect Learn Play appeared first on Learn With Less.

An Ultimate Checklist of Baby and Toddler Learning Essentials? Or Nah. On this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, Ayelet discusses the ways in which early development, everyday routines, everyday materials, and simple activities (often in which we are already engaging) are powerfully interconnected. If you are a new parent or caregiver wondering what you really need to support and connect with your baby or toddler… or you’re a professional who serves new families as a developmental therapist, early childhood educator, or other professional in the perinatal space, this episode and our related upcoming workshop is for you. Many of us are searching for the ultimate checklist of items for young children, or for a list of go-to developmental activities for babies or toddlers to have in your back pocket. Ayelet makes the case that you already have the resources you need – and that if you’re spending your hard earned money on fancy developmental toys, that investment could go toward other places that are in line with your values. In our upcoming Learn With Less® Family Enrichment Fundamentals Workshop, we’ll explore the basis for the four areas of early development, and connect these to a framework of play, language, music, and movement so you can support and connect with the tiny humans in your care using the time and energy you’re already expending, and the materials you’re already using. Find the magic in the mundane, everyday objects and routines. Join us in our upcoming workshop and discover all about how to Learn With Less®! The Learn With Less® Curriculum is used in communities all over the world in a “caregiver & me” class setting, and has also influenced the philosophies and environmental considerations for play spaces and organizations serving families. Not familiar with the term, “caregiver & me” classes? We use it as a more inclusive term instead of “mommy & me” classes. Our classes are open to – and meant for – ALL parents and caregivers: not just moms… but also dads, non-binary folks, grandparents, foster parents, babysitters, nannies, and other amazing grownups who care for tiny humans. We’re going to play the “search term” game here (so you can find this great content more easily!) and help shift the conversation from “mommy & me” classes to “caregiver & me” classes… to do our part to shape the more inclusive world in which we’d like to live. Helpful Resources Related to This Episode Register now for Learn With Less® Family Enrichment Fundamentals Workshop Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (save 70%)! Discover how to support & connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes: the magic of Learn With Less® lies in the communal aspect of coming together with our resources, in community with other families. Join us for a virtual or in-person class led by a licensed facilitator near you! Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Use your existing skills as an educator or therapist to serve families holistically with a high quality program that will provide lasting impact! Apply now to become a licensed facilitator Learn With Less®. Connect With Me Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of The Podcast Episode Hi there, I’m Ayelet Marinovich and you’re listening to Learn With Less®. Today I wanted to share a little bit about an upcoming event that we are holding here at Learn With Less®, you can learn more about it at learnwithless.com/fundamentals. What this is, is a family enrichment workshop, all about the fundamentals of the Learn With Less® curriculum and program and philosophy. It is a live workshop for parents, caregivers and professionals serving new families. The whole idea is to help you feel confident that you can support and connect with babies and toddlers without having to buy another toy. The event is being held this time around on April 29 2023, from 10am PST until 2pm PST. When you enroll before April 15, you’ll be able to enroll and save $50 on the ticket price. So again, that’s learnwithless.com/fundamentals. What we’re trying to do with this workshop is to help support you to find confidence and connection through play language, music and movement. These are the four pillars of Learn With Less®: play, talk, sing and move. And you’ve heard me speak a lot about them on the podcast, and in all of our content and information that we put out into the world. Essentially, what we want you to do is to discover how to use the time, the energy and the materials that you already have to support young children — instead of buying all the fancy toys that you may be are being shown on social media. Here’s the question that we all sort of ask ourselves: what do we really need to support and connect with tiny humans? When the internet feels like a firehose of information, Dr. Google and the baby industry create a sense of overwhelm and perceived incompetence in families… New parents and caregivers know the should’s, but they’re exhausted! Gathering internal resources to do anything extra for their children often feels impossible. And then on the other side, educators and therapists, as well as families, often feel pressure to go out and buy a bunch of toys to ensure that they’re doing the “right” thing, maximizing the precious time that they have with tiny humans. Now, here’s the thing: supporting development and connection for young children can be simpler than we think! Families need to know how to make use of those natural routines and everyday interactions. The idea that there is an inherent developmental value in any object that’s classified as an educational toy is, quite frankly, a delusion. You Already Have the Resources to Support & Connect With Your Young Child So drumroll please, wait for it: the Emperor has no toys, folks. The truth is, you already have the resources to give young children the right stimulation, play and interaction to thrive. And that is true whether or not your toy closet is bursting at the seams. The items in our homes that we already have often hidden in plain view, are powerful learning tools that can support all areas of development. Now, again, I’m just going to break here and share with you that if you want to find out how to Learn With Less® with this workshop, you can go to learnwithless.com/fundamentals and sign up right now. As a parent myself, I’m a mom, I have two young children, and I’m also as a professional serving new families. In my work with other educators and therapists, I know that the developmental value between a cardboard box and the fancy toy that might have come inside is often (ahem) exactly the same. And I also know that early learning does not happen only when I can eke out 15 minutes to provide undivided attention to my child. I also know that it feels sometimes impossible to share succinctly about the simple and natural ways to support and form a deep and loving connection with a child. But when we can connect simple everyday interactions with early learning, we have a blueprint for parent support, partnering with families, and education. Because families already have the resources to give young children the “right” stimulation, play, and interaction to thrive and we can do it with the materials we already have. No extra time or energy needed. Supporting Early Learning With Simple Activities So I’d like to present to you the Learn With Less® Family Enrichment Fundamentals Workshop. We held this workshop in December of last year and it was very well received. We had a lot of great feedback from folks. This is a live workshop for parents and caregivers as well as professionals serving new families. And like many of you listening right now, you might actually be both – a new parent or caregiver, as well as a, say, developmental therapist or early childhood educator – or something in the perinatal space. The Learn With Less® framework is built on four pillars, which each, in turn, support each of the four major areas of early development. In this live workshop, you will find out how to make use of what you know is special, precious time with tiny humans. You’ll discover ways to ensure you’re doing the “right” things for children at their developmental level. You’ll learn how to find that balance between structured play and free play. You’ll find out how to let a young child guide their own learning. You’ll discover new ways to use materials you already have, and also how to help a child communicate to, say, reduce negative behavior and minimize everyone’s frustration. Now, this is a great workshop for families with or professionals serving children who are developing along a “typical” progression within, say, normal developmental limits. It is also a fantastic workshop for families or professionals with children who are not meeting developmental milestones, for instance. This is not about milestones. It is about helping you and discussing and showing you how this four pillar framework of the Learn With Less® curriculum (which again, play talk, sing, and move) actually addresses those four major areas of infant and toddler development, regardless of where a child is performing. Those four major areas are cognitive development, communicative development, motor/sensory development, and social/emotional development. Interaction, Discussion, Observation, and Practice What we’ll be doing is interacting, discussing and sharing about all of these ideas and information. You’ll come away with specific ways to support and connect with young children using what you already have through natural interactions and simple play ideas. Again, this is a workshop that’s occurring (this time around) on April 29 2023 at 10am Pacific. We will be providing a replay period to those who are registering for the live workshop. I do definitely recommend that you try your best to attend live because we’re going to have a whole lot of interaction, live Q*A, and interaction with other professionals who are using the Learn With Less® curriculum in their practices or in their families. For instance, I wanted to share with you what one of our attendees in the past has shared about their learning in this workshop. This is from a father named Josh. He’s the parent of an infant and a toddler. After attending and after involving himself with this information, he shared the following. He said, “You’ve helped me see more clearly that we are already engaging in the kinds of activities that can make a huge impact on our children’s development. We already have the materials we need.” He said, “Ayelet’s words rang true for me. Pinterest can be helpful and fun. But it’s the experience of words, objects, people and ideas in a variety of contexts, settings and environments that support your child’s learning.” He said, “Ayelet helps you understand and knows way to do so – thank you.” So Josh, thank you for sharing all of that. We also have from Megan, who’s a speech language pathologist, and she attended this workshop in the past. She said, “I loved seeing how easy it can be to incorporate music into everyday tasks. And I like how the class flowed and how each parent was able to be successful.” Now, she is actually referring to one of the components of this workshop. And so I’m going to share with you what all of those are. What Are the 4 Components of the Workshop? We have four components. The first is that you’ll learn and discover those four major areas of early development. So we’ll lay out these four areas of early learning. And then we’ll take a deep dive into a particular aspect of each area helping you to find simple, practical and fun ideas to support that learning, using the time, energy and materials that you already have. Then, we’ll also be sharing how to utilize those four pillars of learning with less so that you know you don’t have to expend your energy and resources worrying about what you really need to support tiny humans. Instead, you’ll discover how you can support the connection between caregiver and child. And then that third component, which is what Megan the SLP who shared that quote was referring to. We’re going to then connect practical application to that theory with a live demonstration of activities. So you’ll actually get to experience a live demonstration of caregivers and children experiencing the Learn With Less® framework and working together in a group class that breaks down how to use this info very clearly – and definitely joyfully! Finally, the fourth and potentially most impactful part of this workshop is that you will be able to find out answers to your most pressing questions with a live Q&A. So we’ll have access to a panel of early childhood professionals, early childhood educators, speech language pathologists, developmental therapists of all sorts, who use the Learn With Less® framework in their everyday practice, as well as often with their own children when applicable. I’m going to just share with you some details about this workshop. It is, again, on April 29 2023, at 10am Pacific – that’s 1pm Eastern. You can expect to reserve up to four hours of your day. If you are a speech language pathologist who is registered in the United States, you will receive professional development hours as well. When you purchase before April 15, you will also save $50 on the price of your registration. This workshop will be held on our private Zoom room, and the link will be emailed to you prior to the session. Space is limited. We are capping this workshop it’s going to be small in an effort to create an intimate community learning experience for everyone. Once it fills up, we will consider adding more dates. As I said, we held this workshop successfully in December of last year and it was very, very well received. So that’s why we’re doing it again. Pertinent, Evidence-Based, Bite-Sized Information & Ideas For New Parents and Professionals Working With Families You will also have bonus access to the recording for seven days should you want to review the information, or say, if you were unable to attend for part of the day. So again, who is this for? This is for parents and caregivers of infants and toddlers, expecting and seasoned parents alike. This is also for professionals working with tiny humans and their families. So those working in the perinatal space, those who are early childhood educators, developmental therapists, doulas, mental health practitioners. Also professionals who are, in addition, parents and caregivers, so people who are looking for high quality, evidence based information and ideas to support your tiny humans, as well as those on your caseload. There is no complicated activity planning, there’s no required materials from say a particular parenting philosophy. This is just about you. It’s about the tiny humans in your life and the everyday objects and everyday routines already happening around you. We will be sharing what the baby industry doesn’t want you to know or to understand. When you learn to recognize the tools that you already have to boost an infant or toddlers development, you’re able to maximize the time you have with young children, you’re empowered to get it right. And you’re able to unlock the power of everyday routines and everyday objects to figure out how to play with the little ones in your life while also supporting their learning. You’ll discover how to take simple everyday items and use them in different ways. exploring them with the children in your care and guiding that child to explore with you. There is a simpler, more equitable way to support tiny humans without needing the fancy toys subscriptions. Here’s another quote from Sue, who is a pediatric occupational therapist. She said, “I often went into houses with my magic bag of toys. The Learn With Less® framework is making me rethink the way I interact with the family. For instance, interacting with family as a whole, or at least the caregiver and child dyad – versus interacting predominantly with the child.” Think Outside the Box When It Comes to Early Learning With this workshop, I want you to discover how to think outside the box. Parents and professionals alike are often caught up in the lure of fun new toys, only to start to feel a strong sense of overwhelm each time they idle down the toys and games aisle. Cut the overwhelm: let’s play in the box instead! So we’re going to help you connect loose parts and open ended play with straightforward developmental concepts that you’re often already supporting… without having to spend time, energy and money setting up a bunch of crafty activities. Again, space is extremely limited. We are creating an intimate atmosphere for learning and community. So I urge you to save your spot today. That’s learnwithless.com/fundamentals. I also want to say that the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program is a complete plug and play system for using the popular Learn With Less® curriculum in one’s community as an additional offering for new families. That is a four figure investment. It includes a complete training program and certification process in addition to access to all of our licensed materials, ongoing Q&A and coaching calls, and a professional sounding board. But I want to invite you to join me for a complete workshop around the framework, a panel of other educators and therapists who have integrated the Learn With Less® framework into their practice to answer your questions around the concepts, and a live demonstration of the Learn With Less® curriculum in action. Right now this workshop is just $99. You can save $50 on the price of the workshop before April 15. After that, it will go up to $149. So go ahead and register now to save your spot. We have also a quote from pediatric speech language pathologist and a parent of a toddler, Meryl, who said, “I like that it makes things feel simple. It feels like you’re going back to the basics, the Learn With Less® framework is accessible, use what you have. I really like it because it feels relatable, like anybody can do it.” Who Is the Creator of the Learn With Less® Framework? Finally, I just want to introduce myself in case you don’t know who I am, and if you’ve made it this far, I am Ayelet. I’m a pediatric speech language pathologist and a parent educator and I’ve been running caregiver and me classes using the Learn With Less® infant and toddler curriculum since 2014. I’ve served thousands of families all over the world, both virtually and in person, helping new families to feel confident that they can support and connect with their babies and toddlers without having to buy another toy. And since early 2020, I’ve helped dozens of educators and therapists to do the same by creating lasting impact leading, marketing, and filling caregiver and child classes to supplement their income and to provide education and support families in their communities. I wanted to share, in case you’re wondering, a few things. First of all, you will have the tools and guidance to promote learning and connection using existing time, energy and materials. And again, if you are a US based speech language pathologist, you’ll get more certified maintenance hours of continuing education. FAQ’s About the Family Enrichment Fundamentals Workshop A couple of FAQs, in case you’re wondering, what if I want a training that provides me with in depth knowledge and support integrating these concepts into everyday life. So here’s what this workshop will not cover. It will not cover access to and training around our full curriculum as a parent coaching and support and a family enrichment offering. It will not cover coaching and guidance around using the Learn With Less® curriculum in your community. It will not include ongoing support for your questions and challenges frustrations regarding early parenthood and early childhood, and it will not include ongoing access to a community of like minded caregivers or educators. If you want more in depth training or mentorship and support, here’s what we recommend. For parents and caregivers, we recommend that you grab the Learn With Less® Bundle, which includes all of our best resources, including our best selling books, our musical album, a recorded class, as well as caregiver handouts. That can be found at learnwithless.com/bundle. We also recommend that you participate in a Learn With Less® caregiver and child class in your community, either virtually or in person, led by a licensed Learn With Less® facilitator. You can find those over at learnwithless.com/classes. And for educators and therapists, if you are looking to create lasting impact leading caregiver and me classes with a high quality evidence-based “plug and play’ program. then we would love to see your application come through over at learnwithless.com/certification. And then here is the rest of the fine print, because I always want to be up front with you. So number one, no refunds for this workshop will be granted for any reason. Space is limited, which means that if you decide to take one of those spots, it’s yours, even if you don’t attend live! This session will be recorded. You will still learn a ton from watching the recording after the live workshop is over, and you’ll have access to it for a seven day replay period. The workshop is for parents and caregivers with or expecting infants and toddlers, and also for professionals supporting new families or who are in the perinatal space like developmental therapists, early childhood educators doulas, mental health professionals, etc. If you’re not sure really whether this workshop is right for you, please do reach out to me at admin at strength in words.com and we will get back to you ASAP. If you want to know, “how do I sign up to host a Learn With Less® group?” That’s another question I wanted to answer. We would be thrilled if you’re interested in becoming a Learn With Less® facilitator. We are accepting applications now. So if you get yours in today, you can do so by applying aat learnwithless.com/certification. Another quote or testimonial I wanted to share from Miranda Zoumbaris who we’ve had the podcast a bunch, who is a licensed Learn With Less® facilitator and early childhood educator, and who will be on the panel on the upcoming workshop. She said, “what could be better than sharing with families the gift of joy? It has always been a goal of mine as a parent educator to take away worry, provide education and infuse joy into everyday activities, teaching parents to have joy with their babies and toddlers. What could be better than helping them have that gift?” Learn With Less® Values: Showing Up In Our Space So again, you can go ahead and enroll now to secure your seat at our upcoming workshop on April 29, you can do that today, it’s learnwithless.com/fundamentals. And if you are wondering what the experience of the workshop will be like, I wanted to just share a little bit about our values and how those play into the way that we hold events and the way we run our communities. Here at Learn With Less, we are a relationship and values based company. To us, that means that we prioritize and make decisions based on the values that we hold. We hope that learning more about these values and how they show up in the company will give you a good sense of what to expect. The first one is simplicity. As professionals, we know that everyday materials and routines hold the utmost developmental value, we always encourage you to use what you already have, you don’t have to go out buying more stuff. We also want to encourage you to remember that you already have everything you need. Play and interaction do not require expensive toys or lots of time. The second value that I want to share with you is community. To us, that means communal learning. So facilitation versus hierarchical learning. We value the idea of learning together, and alongside one another. We value communal support, meaning we’re here for each other even when we don’t have the same professional backgrounds, or hold the same identities, or parent in the same way. Our third is inclusivity. We respect and accept diverse thought and practice, these are valued. We want to help our audience with access: you don’t have to have oodles of supplies to support families or your baby. We provide access to information throughout our podcast books, workshops, and programs. We honor, create, and uphold space for those holding a diversity of social identities. Next is education. So we value the power of learning and knowledge, shared learning. Once you know what you’re doing is supportive of a young child, you’re motivated to keep doing it. You’ll be participating in the educational information that we’ll be sharing in this workshop, but you’ll also, at times, be co-creating it. And then finally playfulness. We value playfulness. And we define this in terms of exploration, musicality, and love. Play with your baby, play with your style, play with materials, play in a group with others, play with me. Those are the values that we define in our company and how they show up. I wanted to share with you what that feels like and looks like, and how that might present itself within this workshop. Join Us In Community With the Learn With Less® Framework Again, we are holding a wonderful workshop. It’s a Learn With Less® Family Enrichment Fundamentals workshop for parents, caregivers and professionals. It will be held on April 29th 2023 at 10am Pacific / 1pm. Eastern. You can expect to reserve up to four hours of your day, and you will receive professional PD hours (professional development hours) if you’re an SLP – a speech language pathologist. If you purchase your ticket before April 15, you will save $50 on your registration. Currently the price of the ticket is $99 and that goes up to $149 on April 15. You will also, once you purchase your ticket, have bonus access to the recording for seven days if you want to review the info, or if you were unable to attend part of the day, for instance. I do want to again reiterate this is a ticket to a live virtual event and there will be no refunds, so make sure you understand fully: we do have no refunds policy when you purchase. We can’t wait to see you. It’s going to be so fun. We have a wonderful panel of early childhood professionals and it’s just going to be a great day, so please go ahead and reserve your ticket now. I can’t wait to see you go ahead and reach out to me a great place to do that would be @learnwithless on Instagram in the DMs. I would love to hear your thoughts questions, and I can’t wait to see you at the workshop on April 29th. Talk to you soon. Bye! The post What Do We Really Need to Support & Connect With Tiny Humans? appeared first on Learn With Less.

Building a Sense of Community in Parenting On this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, Ayelet sits down with Desiree Viray, an early childhood educator, mother, entrepreneur, parent partner and parent educator, Learn With Less® facilitator, and the owner of Empowered Family Collective. Desiree’s purpose and joy are rooted in serving, empowering and walking with educators, parents / caregivers, and families through each stage of development, impacting children’s lives through a family-centered approach to play, talk (language development), song, movement, connection, and simplicity. Her work at Empowered Family Collective helps families find moments of joy, and opportunities for intentionality and simplicity in each stage of child development and parenthood/caregiving. She offers “caregiver & me” groups for families using the Learn With Less® curriculum, among other services. Not familiar with the term, “caregiver & me” classes? We use it as a more inclusive term instead of “mommy & me” classes. Our classes are open to – and meant for – ALL parents and caregivers: not just moms… but also dads, non-binary folks, grandparents, foster parents, babysitters, nannies, and other amazing grownups who care for tiny humans. We’re going to play the “search term” game here (so you can find this great content more easily!) and help shift the conversation from “mommy & me” classes to “caregiver & me” classes… to do our part to shape the more inclusive world we’d like to live in. In this episode, we discuss: Desiree’s background, how she came into the world of early childhood education, and where her career has taken her What drew her to the Learn With Less® philosophy, and the value of prioritizing parents and caregivers and parent education How she has placed her values front and center with regard to her own business decisions, marketing decisions, and how she coaches families The ways in which creating a sense of belonging serves both her as a business owner, as well as serving families with young children How she has respected her internal pace and intentionally created slow and steady growth Helpful Resources Related to This Episode Learn With Less® Stories:  Additional podcast episodes and other interviews from educators who’ve provided the Learn With Less® infant/toddler family enrichment curriculum and families who’ve experienced our programming. FREE Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint: Discover the four major areas of infant and toddler development, what’s involved in each one in the first three years of life, and what you can do to support that learning (using what you already have in your home). Desiree’s Podcast, Storm and Sky (specifically, her episode on writing new chapters – what happens when you find yourself in your sweet spot) Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (save 70%)! Discover how to support & connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Use your existing skills as an educator or therapist to serve families holistically with a high quality program that will provide lasting impact! Apply now to become a licensed facilitator Learn With Less®. Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes: the magic of Learn With Less® lies in the communal aspect of coming together with our resources, in community with other families. Join us for a virtual or in-person class led by a licensed facilitator near you! Connect With Us Desiree: Website / Instagram  Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of The Podcast Episode Ayelet: Welcome to the Learn With Less® Podcast. Today I am joined by my dear friend and colleague Desiree Viray. Desiree, welcome to the Learn With Less® podcast. So happy you’re here. Desiree: Thank you for having me. I’m really excited to be here. Ayelet: Yay! Desiree, I would love it if you could just tell us a little bit about you who you are, your background and what led you to come into the world of Learn With Less®? Desiree: Yes, I was an educator in the classroom for about 16 years. And I’m going to take it way back to junior college where I did not know what I wanted to do with my life, and I felt lost. I found my way when I stumbled across a flyer from Bright Horizons. I took my very first child psychology class, and I was hooked. That literally was the seed to my career in early childhood education. It should not have come as a surprise to me, because I actually come from a long line of educators. My paternal grandfather was a principal in the Philippines. I have been in the classroom, as I mentioned, for 16 years. I managed a team, if you will. One of my dream jobs was to become a principal, which I tried on for two and a half years… and realized that it just was not my thing. And I’m glad that I tried it. Fast forward a little bit. I’ve since transitioned into executive support. I’m not surprised that my skills have transferred over really nicely to this role. So I do that full time. I am a bonus mama to two wonderful children that I met about eight years ago. They are 10 going on 20, and 12 going on 50. My son has a very old soul. One morning, I heard him say Hey, Google… Play Elvis Presley. Like that’s, that’s my kid I love.  I met you and I stumbled upon Learn With Less® when my good friend Lesley Mayson had posted about her own experience. And I was in a bit of a transition. I knew that I wanted to serve the community in some capacity, and I had thought, Oh, I’m going to be a career coach! Took an intro class and realize that specific framework was not the right fit for me because I am an intense introvert. And when I met you, and you told me a little bit more about how the information is disseminated. Again, I was hooked. And so here we are together. A year later! What is it about the Learn With Less® Program That Speaks to You? Ayelet: Let’s hear a little bit about what was it that really intrigued you about the way that the Learn With Less® facilitator training and certification program, really… What is it that really got you in terms of feeling like it was a better fit? Not only, of course, within the way that you wanted to serve and impact your community, but also in the way that we do our training? Because it sounds like that, as as I know from speaking with you over the year, I know that really was useful to you. But I’d love to hear specifically what it was about it then. Desiree: The thing that really drew me in is the fact that it is play-based. I was in a program where we had a community of parents and caregivers that did not initially see the value of a play-based program. And I tell you, I talk to them still, many of these families, their children are probably now in middle school, which is absolutely insane to think about. They talk about that time, this magical time that they had in this particular program. Now seeing why play was so important, and is still so important. So that was part of it is just the fact that it was play-based. The other part is that it was a mix of philosophies, Ayelet. I came from a program that was heavily inspired by Reggio. And so my own value system, my own philosophy around education, is actually a mix of those different philosophies and ways of thinking around child development and play. So that was the other part. The receiving of the information is that I got to choose my own adventure. I took about a year to go through the actual program. And you and our community did not make me feel guilty about that! We had just talked about time being a very precious and scarce resource, right. While working full time, I would go through the program when I felt called to it. And that is so empowering. I just want to pause there because I got to make very intentional choices as to when I engaged in that learning. And that was really important to me as a working mom, and someone that was making a very serious investment in this… I don’t like to call it a small business because it’s not small! In this venture, this new chapter that I was writing for myself. Ayelet: I love that. Yeah, it’s so important to me, in terms of the way that people go through the program, to have that opportunity. Because we know that not everybody life circumstances are the same. Everyone is coming from a different educational, professional background. People are dealing with different COVID restrictions, different life restrictions, different life pathways, and some people zip through it, who are in your exact circumstances, right? Who are working full time parents, and some choose because of other circumstances to take their time. What we try to do is, like you said, try and create that ability for people to self determine what it is that is important to them, and what they need while continuing to provide the support, and information sharing, and inspiration to those who are ready to take it in, as well. And to bring you back in, and pull you back in, when it’s time. Finding Your Sweet Spot, Creating Balance in Your Life Desiree: Yes, you make me think about this conversation that I had with a few – three of the executives that I support right now. And I said to them, no joke, I’m retiring with you all, I will be on this team supporting you all for as long as you’ll have me. And one of them said, I really worry about the day that you’re going to leave and want more. And I told him, I found my sweet spot. Sometimes people search a lifetime for that sweet spot where you feel like everything is integrated at just the right volume, if you will. And so that was the beauty of Learn With Less®, is that I was able to maintain equilibrium, if you will. I was able to maintain that sweet spot. I think that was really important to me, it still is really important to me. And I just I want to talk more about that with other people! Just that if you have found your sweet spot, that’s okay. And that is good. Ayelet: Yeah, well, I want to dig into that more, actually, because it’s such a perfect parallel to what you’re doing for families using the Learn Wit Less® curriculum, right? Because yeah, I mean, as we were also talking about before we started recording, new families have such limited bandwidth. And so asking them or sharing with them new ideas for more ways that they can play with their child, and more things to do, and more things to buy, and blah, blah, blah, is like… no! That’s not what people want. I want to actually quote you. When you entered the program, I ask people, you know, why are you passionate about being a parent educator using the Learn With Less® curriculum? You wrote that this chapter is rooted in wanting to help caregivers feel and be empowered to look at their environments through a different lens, and to help them see value in and find their way to simplicity. So I mean, well done, Desiree of the past. Desiree: I wrote that? Ayelet: You did! And that’s, I mean, that’s it. I think, that really cuts to the heart of what we’re doing here and why. And I wonder if you could just say a little bit more about that. And what you think was going through your head when you wrote that! What it is that you, now that you’ve been through the training program, and you are a licensed Learn With Less® facilitator. You’re fully certified, you’re doing the thing, you’re marketing your classes, you’ve hosted a demo class, and you’ve done some investment into local marketing things. So let’s talk about what it is you are trying to create for folks who enter your space and what the value is of your classes. Intentionally Creating a Sense of Belonging Desiree: Yes, I as you know, I hosted my first pop up last weekend, and it was actually a school district sponsored event, it was outdoors 80 degrees in Texas, and there was a breeze. So it was good. I learned a lot with it being my first pop up, and we can go back to that. But you encouraged me to really think about what my elevator pitch is and was. I got to practice it a number of times. Yes, it changed a number of times too. But it allowed me to get closer to what it – and that was the question. I was approached with, oh, Empowered Family Collective. What is it that you do? I often started with, well, I’ve been an educator for a number of years. I’m also a parent and I one want to serve the community. And through that, it is about disseminating this message that your child, your children, don’t need the $100 toys. I’d walk over to the shelving that I had available because I wanted. The vibe that I wanted was, I wanted one to feel like you were walking into my living room. Ayelet: Yeah. And to clarify, this was a pop up like marketing event. You were the vendor at a fair at the school district’s fair. Desiree: That is correct. I wish you could have seen the faces when I was unloading my car. Then I talked a little bit about, and then I pointed to the recycled materials that I had collected and amassed over the last, I don’t know, six months? I talked about how oftentimes what our children want to interact with and play with and learn most from are the things that we have at home already. I had spatulas, colanders, tons of recycled materials. Then, of course, conversation began around, oh my gosh, yes. Why don’t I save the egg carton, right. So I created, I like to call them invitations. I created invitations as to how you might pair something that you did buy from Amazon, because that’s real, with something that you purchase from the grocery store, like a yogurt tub, and how you could pair those things. That there is room for a combination of both situations. Then I talked a little bit about, you know, many times our families really crave, like, how do I cultivate independent play? It’s through that is through these open-ended materials that you offer. Because the possibilities are endless, and the creativity and the imagination is just bananas! Ayelet: That’s right, that’s not going to happen with a press the button toy, cause and effect, right? There’s room for that, yes. And when you have these wonderful, open-ended – meaning materials that can be used in a multitude of different ways… You have endless opportunities, as you said. I love that. Yeah. Desiree: And you hit on something. I think we can fall into the trap of “but” –  I think what we’re doing through learn with less is the message of using more and yeah, I have these, what is the word that we use for things that have single use – prescriptive materials? There’s room for prescriptive materials and open-ended materials, loose parts. Ayelet: Yeah. Right. Because the point is not to be anti toy. It’s very interesting. Because we do live, you and I are both stateside, we both live in the US. And we live in a very binary society, right? That’s how we’re socialized generally. And you have yes/no, good/bad, big/small. And that’s… so much of all of this is taking that down. Helping people see that parenting also in general is not a binary there’s no right and wrong way, right or wrong way to parent, a human. Number one, we’re all coming from a unique set of circumstances, life experiences, cultural, ethnic, and otherwise background. And number two, we have our different humans who have their specific needs. So, we often in a Learn With Less® group, will touch upon those challenges, and also wins of what’s going on with families. And in that time, that sort of sharing time, it’s a wonderful opportunity for families to share, like, what is going on with them, what they’re challenged by. But of course, as you know, we talked so much about how this is not the time for you to give the prescription of oh, well, here’s how you can solve that problem. Right? Which I think a lot of us as the helpers of society. Early childhood educators, developmental therapists, we want to help we want to solve the problem, we want to get that child to the next milestone!. But in this case, it’s, it’s so much more about creating a space where people can feel seen and heard. And I wonder Desiree, if you could talk a little bit about that, in terms of what it is that you’re creating, and why that’s valuable. Desiree: Oh, my gosh, yes. Many of the people that I met last weekend, were those who have moved to Texas recently, and are essentially rebuilding their communities, their villages. And that can be so challenging. And some people talked about how isolating it can be. That’s part of my purpose is to create these communities of support, especially for those who are feeling isolated by especially first time, early parenting. I am here to create space for whoever it is that you want to show up as today. I am here to simply listen. One thing that I like to often start conversations with is, okay, I need to know, do you need me to listen? Or do you need solutions? Or do you need both? Because then that sets my mindset into the space of like, okay, I’m going to be totally clued in. And so one of the pieces of feedback that I receive quite often is that people often feel visible and heard by me. So I’m using… I’m hoping to really use that gift in the community while I’m serving them in that way. Building community. Allowing space for parents and caregivers to feel like it’s okay to make mistakes. You’re not going to show up as your best self every day. There are going to be things that are challenging and I want to be that sounding board for you. And to just help you feel okay with that? Ayelet: Yeah, beautiful. I think for all our listeners here, right now, like it’s, I mean, if someone were there to do that, for me, when I was a brand new parent, that would have been really nice, right. And also, that’s for me also why I started leading these classes, because I wanted a place to be able to do that for myself and for others. I knew the value of that for myself. I knew how much I got out of creating a space for people. I just want to come back to what you said about that. Instead of immediately jumping in to solve a problem, that that pause of asking a person and this is so true in all areas of life. It’s very, it can be very hard for people to do it is actually that moment of empathy, right? Where you’re asking someone what support looks like for them in that moment: what would you like for me right now? A lot of what you’re doing in this season of life with families is creating that space, holding that space and creating a place for families to let someone know what they need… and be asked. Because we also know that in early parenthood, that doesn’t happen very much. There’s not a whole lot of… you’re giving, giving, giving, giving, giving to this tiny human and whether or not you have a co-parenting partner, it can be really hard. Many people, I will say, don’t have — who is asking them what they need, right? Because often when we’re sleep deprived, or we’re overwhelmed, there’s an immediate go to. There’s that switch of, without that pause, of the other person who’s trying to provide support, often goes right into trying to solve the problem. And all of this is not to say that there isn’t a problem that we solve within a Learn With Less® class, right? Of course, what we’re doing and actually, I’d love to hear what you would define that as – what, what is it that we are doing? If we’re not solving, solving all the problems of early parenthood? Why do people come to your classes to Learn With Less® classes? What is it that they get out of it, other than having a space to come to where they can feel seen and heard and held? Because just that is super valuable to people! But there’s a lot more, right? And so what what else is it that you’re doing for families, Desiree? Desiree: I’m gonna go back to that, to that sense of community that you’re building. Especially when we have Learn With Less® facilitators that offer a series of classes, right, that you’re going to see these consistent faces over a certain amount of time, and you will more than likely exchange phone numbers with somebody, right? So that’s another connection that you’ve made locally. And I think that was the that was the other thing that drew me in, Ayelet, I’ll bring it back, is the fact that you’re encouraging us to be in our local communities. And so it makes it easier for parents and caregivers to make those local connections. Isn’t that what we want? That when you are not in this space, when you’re not in the space of Empowered Family Collective with Desiree, that you are potentially connecting at the local park or the coffee shop when we are not all together. The other part is that we are holding our parents and caregivers and those children at the same time. When I think about traditional classes, like a music class, for example. It is mostly geared towards the children. But yet we incorporate our parents and caregivers by engaging in the conversation of hey, what are your roses and thorns this week? I want to hear from you very intentionally about what you are excited about and what was challenging this week. So there’s that layer, again, of visibility for the adults that helped bring the children to this space. And so yeah, I have goosebumps. Ayelet: Yeah, it’s powerful stuff. And then of course, without failing to mention the entire developmental enrichment piece of it. So I want to hear about that, too. For sure. Desiree: That part I get really excited about. I’m a child development nerd. I really enjoyed the classes that I took both in undergrad and graduate school. And so I really appreciate being able to talk about that with families, because one, we talked about this: time is a very precious yet scarce resource. We no longer potentially have the time to read the 100 page book about what to expect. Allow me to be your personal, oh my gosh, what was it back in the day, they were yellow. If you wanted to read a book… allow me to be your personal CliffsNotes. Yeah, around child development, in particular. Why is my kid waking up at 3am every morning? Or why is it that my child’s appetite is very unpredictable? Right? Well, Oh, well, I’ve spent 16 years in a classroom, I’ve seen a variety of things, I have my own children to kind of add to the mix, right? Allow me to, to maybe offer three or four possibilities. And if you want them, some solutions that you might try at home. So yes, the whole child development piece. Then of course, the enrichment part, right? Is how do we put these philosophies into practice? But in a way, that’s not scary, very approachable, again, using the things that we already have at home. And I think that’s where the simplicity comes in. Again, I’m not asking you to go out and buy all these things. Everything that you need to create an engaging environment for your child is already in your home. Ayelet: Yes, whatever kind of home you live in, whether it’s big, or small, yes. Whether you have ample storage, or none at all, yeah, okay. So Desiree, you’ve acknowledged that your business is called Empowered Family Collective. So I’d love to hear what it is, if you can speak specifically to what it is you’re empowering families to do. Desiree: Yes. The seeds were planted during the pandemic. And I had a number of families that had been part of my program, my early childhood program, when I was teaching, reach out to me because we were still connected. Because they just weren’t sure how to navigate the pandemic. We were all homeschooling, et cetera, et cetera. And I had done this with a number of families. And I thought, I feel like I’m kind of good at this, and I still got it. So there’s something there. That led me to the proposition for myself, like, okay, so if you’re going to do this, what is it that you’re trying to do here Desiree? And the word empowerment kept coming up, because what I was finding is these families that were coming to me just seemed disempowered, and potentially because they were so flippin’ tired. So I am here to help you step into that empowerment that still exists. It may be dormant right now, and to potentially connect you with the resources or local resources that can help you get to the next step. I think the empowerment piece also comes in to play when I am listening, I’m actively listening to these parents and caregivers. I’m actually reflecting back what I’m hearing and or validating what I’m hearing and what they’re experiencing and feeling. And I think that when you are truly heard, when you feel like you’re heard, and you’re visible, that you actually realize that oh, she’s in there still, and I am going to make it through this season. It may not feel like it today, but I’m going to. So, multiple conversations with these families over time, none of these things were fixed overnight, not not even fixed. I don’t like to use the word fixed. It took time to address what was happening for them. Some of them are still ongoing. But it was really helpful to have someone that they trusted, someone that had been in the classroom for a number of years. Someone who had sort of the educational background to help them figure out what might be happening and what next steps were. Sometimes you just need someone to say, what if you tried this? Here are three options, and here is where you might potentially go for that support. Values Driven Business, Values Driven Life Ayelet: Yeah, I think it’s so important to to really get to the core of what motivates us, as business owners, as parents, as women, as humans. And really understanding what the values are that guide our choices in making decisions, right, because that, when we move back into those values, whether those are of the company that you’re building, or the way you are parenting, actually stating those out loud, writing them down somewhere, having that set of belief systems to guide you… really helps. So of course, empowering families is one thing for you. But I’d love to hear if you’re willing to share, Desiree a few of the other values that are really guiding you. Desiree: Yes, I all of a sudden had this vision of when I had engaged in the rocks, pebbles, sand – you can actually Google this – framework around how to identify what your rocks are, when you put all of those together, the rocks are the ones that take up the most space in the physical vessel that you put them in. And those actually, for me, translated into my values. And my values, my very first one, actually, is my family. The other one was my career. The other one is also my wellness. And I have two more, but they they slipped my mind at the moment. So I use those values for myself. They help me make decisions. I use this very same sort of provocation invitation, if you will, for families that have needed help to say… I don’t know which school to send my child to. And my response is… Sometimes they’d come in with like piles of printed articles around data, just data, right? And that’s how they thought! And so I would take them along a different path, sometimes an uncomfortable path and I’d say well, what are your values as a parenting unit? What are your values as a family? And if you haven’t established them, here’s a way that you can. We actually have our values as a family posted in a common space very clearly so that we can go back to them when we have hard conversations. And so when I think about just to bring it full circle, when I think about my full time job writing this new chapter around starting my business, Empowered Family Collective, I kept my family at the forefront. How is this going to impact them? What ways can I include them in this in this chapter, which my daughter made her own name tag and she had her name, her age, and on the top, it said, employee, she laminated it. And so that’s just an easy example, if you will, of how I have used my values to inform this chapter of mine. And the way in which I think about how I’m I’m actually executing the vision that I have for myself. What I do as a parent educator – I prefer to call myself a parent partner – is rooted in family, whatever, whatever that looks like! I wish there was a different term that we could use. So I’m going to figure that out. Ayelet: Well, let’s talk about that, actually, because I do find myself using the the word “parent education” so often. But I think it’s so useful to explore what does that mean? How else can we say that? What are we actually referring to when we’re talking about parent education? For you, what would you say in terms of like, why you prefer the “parent partner,” instead of “parent educator” piece? What does that bring up for you? What, what resonates there? Desiree: It brings up sort of a division of power for some reason. And so when I think of partner, you and I are side by side, potentially linked in arms if you want to. The other word that I love using is Sherpa. We’re on this journey together. Allow me to utilize the information and experience that I’ve gathered over time to help you and inform you as you go through this experience that you’ve never gone through before. And working with you, working with a number of the educators that I’ve worked with in the past, I’ve just learned to really value belonging. Yeah, not just inclusion, belonging. And so I have learned to use “y’all” more. “Hey, everyone,” and then so much of what I post has slashes, right. It’s like parents slash caregiver slash, etc, etc, because, and I, I say that out loud, because it’s like, I just want people to feel like they belong in this space. Oh, my gosh, that’s it. I’m trying to cultivate a sense of belonging. I know that the Learn With Less® framework allows us to do that. And that is so clear in your value statement too. And I think I told you in the beginning, that really drew me to your values are so clear. And that allows someone like me to say, hey! My values actually line up with Ayelet’s. And this framework that she has created. So the decision was so clear. I’m in. Ayelet: Yeah, I love that. Thank you for sharing that does. The piece that I wanted to really tease out of there is in terms of the belonging piece, and how that relates to how we talk about things at Learn With Less®, and to really emphasize about what you said in terms of those slashes. And the partner piece is how we speak about our role as facilitators of a space or guides. Versus a leader, a class leader, a teacher, an expert, right? And that, what you said there in terms of, let me guide you through a process. Let me move you through an understanding. Let me give you the Cliff Notes, right, let me break it down into bite sized manageable pieces of information that you can utilize right now to understand how to build the connection between you and your child in a way that feels natural to you. And also, how to really feel confident that you are doing all of the things that you need to be doing, quote unquote, “need to be doing right” in terms of supporting their learning and development in all those areas of learning – cognitive development and communication, development and motor and sensory development and social and emotional development, right? Because we go through all of those things within the different classes that we hold, and we have a very clear breakdown of ways in which we address all those areas of learning. So I’m curious, what for you stands out in terms of the actual curriculum and the way that it’s broken down for families? How does it allow you to do the job of empowering families to feel confident? How does it facilitate for you a process of transition in that way that you’ve said is so important? Desiree: Well, one of the more powerful pieces around what we do is we’re basically equipping our parents and our caregivers with information that is so powerful. It’s a game changer often, but again in a way that is bite-sized, and is just so easily understandable. So we’re equipping this community with knowledge that is going to help them in their home when we’re not with them. And two, helping our parents, caregivers, families, units understand and see the value around play, natural play, let them play. Ayelet: It comes back to what we were talking about earlier, in terms of just like that pause, instead of providing an answer, or a direction, or a solution. It’s also letting… providing that model for families that you’re doing, also provides them to do that, and step back and watch what their child is doing, what their child is interested in. So that then they can respond, and support, and clue in and provide the words or the tools, for their child to do the play. To actually do the learning. And then for them to create that environment around the child that facilitates even a deeper level of it through the interaction. Desiree: Yes, the other part is the playfulness that the adults are encouraged to engage in. So parenthood is hard. But it doesn’t always have to be! That it is okay, it is encouraged to bring in playfulness. And I’ll give you an example. My kids don’t like to brush their teeth. So guess what mama does, I go in there, I make up a silly song, it may not be in tune. And I’m actually brushing my teeth with them maybe took five minutes in my day. Sure, I could have been washing the dishes, I could have been doing other things. But making those intentional choices around being playful myself, has helped me many times over. So we’re modeling that right? That that’s okay. Two: the practicality of what we are sharing that again, you do not have to come to this space that we are in together once every few weeks, you can do this in your home. And that’s the idea. Yeah, the practicality. Intentionally Building Slowly Ayelet: Alright, Desiree with our very short remaining time, I would love to ask you about the intentional building that you’re doing, like the building of what you’re creating, and how you’ve gone about that. Because you’ve been very intentional about really being interpersonal, more one on one interactions and reaching out to your existing community and the people who you know, and who can help to facilitate connections for you. And now you’ve also stepped into some additional sort of marketing type adventures. So I would love to just hear very briefly about what that’s been like for you – that process of stepping into actually letting other people know about what you’re doing here. Desiree: Yes, when I knew that I was going to write this chapter, I knew that I needed to be very intentional and slow about it. Because as I’ve gotten older, and as I’ve peeled back my childhood, mamahood, adulthood, I have learned that I am, one, an introvert. Two, that slow and easy is my pace. I am happily going to hang out in the slow lane, like, let me be. So honoring me has become very important and it’s also one of my values. And so I don’t like to make mistakes. And so going slow allows me to avoid as many of them as possible. I did make mistakes along the way but they were mistakes that I felt like I learned a lot from, right, some of the things that I had done were sort of out of order, if you will, in regards to setting up an LLC for example. And my time also led me, my own sort of resource, like my time, really led that. You know, I work full time, kiddos are with me, and so when is it that I can earmark some uninterrupted time to doing this and looking at this more closely. A lot of it was just having that internal banter with myself. I call her the negative roommate. She tells me sometimes that I’m not good enough, you’re not going fast enough. What is it that you’re doing? And so I say to her, I hear you and it’s not true, right? So I try to combat those messages. You know, with that, I just I try to make very intentional choices. Yeah, and it’s, it’s okay to go slow because ultimately I want to be proud of what it is that I’m doing and that stands true today. Ayelet: And what a perfect place to land. Yes, Desiree thank you so so much for your time today. We will be linking to all of your beautiful links but just for all the folks at home who are listening will you let them know where they can find you? Desiree: Yes, on Instagram you can find me at @empoweredfamilycollective all one word. And the same thing for my website empoweredfamilycollective.com. Ayelet: Awesome. I cannot wait to send people your way. Thank you so much for you your time and energy today, Dez! Desiree: Thank you for having me! Again, you and I could talk for hours, and so this just felt so natural and so good. The post Building Community for New Families Through Belonging appeared first on Learn With Less.

Creative Ways to Add Movement into Your Young Child’s Day This episode of the Learn With Less® podcast is the final of a 4-part series about incorporating play, language, music, and movement, into everyday routines. These episodes feature a conversation between Ayelet Marinovich (pediatric speech-language pathologist, founder & creator of the Learn With Less® curriculum) and Miranda Zoumbaris (early childhood educator & interventionist, licensed Learn With Less® facilitator, and entrepreneur). In this series, we’ll explore the four pillars of the Learn With Less® framework, and examine how we can incorporate more of each of those into our everyday routines to support connection and early learning. For each episode, we chose one routine and one everyday object, and explored the ways in which we could infuse developmentally enriching experiences into everyday life, and helping families see they can do this using the time, energy, and materials they already have. Be sure to check over at our Instagram and Facebook pages (linked below) for additional content that may support your understanding and experience of these episodes. As we release each episode, we’ll link to them here in the show notes so you can access them easily. In this episode, we discussed: What is MOVE (as we define it in the Learn With Less® curriculum), and how it can be woven into everyday routines How to take the routine of dressing (putting on and taking off coats, zippers, etc!), and incorporate more opportunities for movement into these moments How we can adapt movement activities based on our body’s needs or the needs of our children Adapting an environment to include opportunities for movement and integrating a child’s needs How to incorporate movement into simple routines, using simple, everyday objects How to include young children within an activity by facilitating opportunities for movement The value of learning in community, of parallel processing with other families, and of experiencing the practice of following your child’s lead, through caregiver and child classes like those led by licensed Learn With Less® facilitators Helpful Resources to Acknowledge For This Episode: Daily Routines Freebie: download Miranda’s free handout about winter dressing, and get ideas for incorporating play, talk, sing, and move into your everyday routines! Free Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint: what are the four major areas of early development… and how can you use the pillars of Learn With Less® to support that learning, using the time, energy, and materials you already have?! Download our free blueprint today. How to Incorporate Play into Everyday Routines: our first episode in this podcast series, featuring a conversation with Miranda Zoumbaris and Ayelet Marinovich How to Incorporate Language Into Everyday Routines, the second episode in this 4-part series! How to Incorporate Music Into Everyday Routines, the third episode in this 4-part series! The Power of Play Through Movement, a Learn With Less® podcast episode featuring physical therapist, Wendi McKenna What Is Sensory Processing?, a Learn With Less® podcast episode featuring occupational therapist, Christie Kiley Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program, helping educators and therapists create lasting impact in their communities with a high quality, evidence-based, “plug & play” program Expand Your Impact Workshop Bundle: for early childhood educators and developmental therapists hoping to serve new families in their community and support themselves, using their existing skills Learn With Less® Bundle: our best infant and toddler development resources for families and educators alike, including our bestselling books Understanding Your Baby and Understanding Your Toddler, our acclaimed family music album, recorded Learn With Less® “caregiver & me” classes, and a caregiver handout featuring ideas for carryover in the home Learn With Less® Stories: Testimonials from educators who’ve provided the Learn With Less® infant/toddler family enrichment curriculum and families who’ve experienced our programming. Connect With Us: Miranda: Website / Facebook / Instagram Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of this Episode Ayelet: Okay, welcome back to the Learn With Less® podcast. And welcome to my co-host for these four episodes, Miranda Zoumbaris! Hi Miranda! Miranda: Hello! I’m glad to be back. Ayelet: I can’t believe this is the last one, of this installment. Tell us over on the socials: did you enjoy this? Was fun to have Miranda join us in all four episodes. This is so fun. I had a great time. It is nice to have a co-host, actually. Thank you so much, Miranda, for all your contributions to the last few weeks of content and things that we’ve been talking about. This conversation has just been so much fun to have and connect with people over on social media, Instagram and Facebook over on @learnwithless and @earlyinterventionmama! Why don’t we go ahead and finish out our series of our four Learn With Less® pillars, with the final installment of MOVE. So again, just like we’ve been doing in the last few episodes, and if you haven’t already listened to those, go ahead and check those out. We’ve got three other wonderful episodes for you about the other three pillars of Learn With Less® which include PLAY, TALK, and SING. But today we’re going to talk about MOVE, what move is. We’re going to give you some examples about how this pillar of MOVE can be woven into those everyday routines. And the routine that we’re going to be talking about with relation to one particular object… we’re going to talk about this notion of dressing, coats, zippers. Learning About Motor and Sensory Development So that’s what we’re gonna be chatting about today. Let me go ahead and introduce  the ways that we define this pillar of move within the Learn With Less® curriculum and framework. So movement, as we know, can be very big movements, very small movements, proprioceptive movement. Gross motor movement and fine motor skills, all kinds of visual spatial movements, there’s lots of different pieces to movement, and then motor and sensory development, in addition to how MOVE can support all other aspects and areas of early development. First of all, movement, whether we’re talking about a child who is developing along a typical progression of learning and within, you know, quote, unquote, “normal limits” of meeting milestones and things like that, or whether we’re talking about a child with severe motor needs and limitations, movement is learning and movement is life. We can always help to create more opportunities for movement, even with a child who has more motor challenges. In general, with all of our movers, babies and toddlers are learning how their body moves, where their body ends and begins, and where the rest of the world ends and begins in relation to themselves and their own identity… through exploration and movement. Through touching the surfaces on which they’re laying down or running around on, or whatever it is. And we want to think, even from that very beginning, of when our children are just starting to learn how to move, to consider various planes of movement, when they’re on us, or on the floor, forward and backward and side to side, up and down, vertical and diagonal. Really remembering that when we’re talking about exploration of movement, yes, we can think about a “yes space” kind of a thing, a place where everything is available to our children. And also thinking about, that can be inside or outside. One of the physical therapists that, I love her work, and we’ve had her on the Learn With Less® podcast in the past, Wendi McKenna, and I’ll link to the episode, she talks about how our homes are just giant containers for our children. I love that notion of the idea of yes, it’s really important to have a space that you feel comfortable for your child to explore in, and also get outside, right? Your children can explore spiderwebs, and the gravel and the broken sidewalk, and the little pebbles between their toes, and the grass, and the dew, and all of the things. It doesn’t matter whether you are in a rural or urban or suburban setting or any other place, there is so much to explore. And movement is how our young children do that. So that is the basic outline that I wanted to start with, a–nd let’s move into how we can use this understanding of this pillar of MOVE in relation to, say, putting on coats and zipping up and zipping down zippers, and really just dressing in general. So Miranda, why don’t you get us started on the ways that we can utilize this pillar of movement and MOVE in relation to everyday routines. How we can embed movement into everyday routines Miranda: Yeah. So I don’t know my brain just goes to the really tiny infant side of things first in terms of developmental spectrum. Thinking about, at first, you’re kind of moving your tiny human through dressing. Putting their arm through a shirt for the first time and those sensations that they have, putting their hand through it. Then, thinking about how when they start moving their fingers and really moving from involuntary grasping onto something to voluntary grasping on something: your hair, a necklace maybe you’re wearing, or your shirt, the zipper, feeling how that feels different. So just really thinking about those smaller movements. And then working up… there’s this meme that’s going around the internet that shows instead of a toddler trying to get dressed, it’s wrestling an alligator. Ayelet: Yeah, every parent and caregiver of a toddler knows this. Even if they’ve never seen that, they know exactly what you’re talking about. Miranda: And I think the tagline says, “recent photo of me getting my toddler dressed,” or something. All of that is the movement – playing chase to get away from your mom because she wants your coat to go on to go outside! You don’t want to go! So those parts of dressing routine is movement. Or, keeping in mind, you’ve done such a great job Ayelet, of just how we adapt, based on our own body’s needs. So if you are a parent that is wheelchair-bound, how you might need to move your body to be closer to your child using a wheelchair and describing that to your child. Thinking about how we get around, or how we get how to get around, impacts every area of development, whether it’s the parent or the child that’s working on movement. I’m just going to share as we’re talking through this, I am just reflecting on the last couple months, my husband had a significant break in his ankle. And I was gearing up to have a big season of Learn With Less® classes, and instantly one Chipotle curb took him down for months! So really, it just changed our whole perspective, I think, on movement, and just what he could and couldn’t do. Thinking about, for him, his ankle was completely immobilized, but he was allowed to move his toe – and how important it was for him to have that little bit of movement in his foot up to when we regained full mobility and the celebration we had around him running around the kitchen. Oh my god! So yeah, really put some perspective, I think, for me, on what an impact movement is on development and you know, just in daily life. Working on Balance, Weight Shifting, and Independence in Dressing Ayelet: Yeah, so, so true. Let’s give a few fun ideas and examples for families who are looking for a few more tools, because it’s interesting, I like to ask before Learn With Less® class that I hold, I like to ask people about which of those four pillars of PLAY, TALK, SING and MOVE, are they most confident or at least confident or comfortable in supporting, or doing, or participating in? For those of us who do have more challenges with integrating movement, or maybe our children are not as interested in movement, bow can we integrate more of that pillar into our daily life, in say, the routine of getting dressed or zipping up coats and things like that? Do you have some ideas for us, Miranda? Miranda: Yeah, of course. So I’m envisioning, if you have a little one who’s working on balance, and you’re working on getting on snow pants, or just regular pants, or shorts. Or working on weight shifting, right: lean to the left, lift your foot up, put it in! Lean to the right, lift your foot up, put your foot down. So we’re working on balance, or if you have an infant who you’re working on getting them to really push their hand through that shirt to get their hands out, playfully helping them slide that hand through. Let’s see,  other things… You know, of course, those zippers, we’re talking a lot about, I’m envisioning gross motor things here. But that fine motor movement is so important, right? Being able to pinch something to pull it up, or oftentimes they’re gonna start by pulling down the zipper on us if we’re wearing something. And scaffolding it. If they can’t quite pull it down, helping them by aligning the zipper a little bit better, right or giving a cue: tug, tug, tug or pull down! Scaffolding that interest that they might have in dressing to give the least amount of support that your child might need in order to be successful. Do they need two hands to step into their shoes? Do they need to sit down? Do they need you to put on their shoe, but they can shove their foot the last little bit? Ayelet: Yeah, or encouraging them to ask for help in whatever way they can. Whether it’s looking at you or signing the word help or saying something approximation of the word help – I love that. Miranda: Visually searching for the coats and the gloves that didn’t return to where you hoped they would be when you needed to leave! All the movement that comes from that! Ayelet: That’s right, yeah. Or racing to get to the door from the outside. If you’re not interested in running around in the home and things like that! Just using movement to warm up – my gosh, to warm up or slow down. Playing with the different kinds of movements that you can do. Again, a little bit of levity. Oh, how slowly can we put on our coats? I wonder, slowly, we can bring up the zipper or whatever it is, right? Miranda: Love that. We just did the same thing in Target today. My little one did not want to hold my hand. And it was, well, do you want to hold my hand and go fast? Or do you want to hold my hand and go slow? And yeah, that helps helped us move forward with our grocery run. Creating an Inclusive, Child-Friendly Space Allowing Movement Ayelet: That’s a great example. I love it. Amazing. What else? Have we got anything else to share with folks? I mean, I feel like we’ve given people a lot to hold here. And so many tools for all four of our pillars of the Learn With Less® framework. Oh, one other thing I wanted to make sure that we chat about in terms of MOVE is that idea of moving in and out of a space that’s created, and exploring a space, and moving in and out of a physical space. And the comfort level of the group, and the caregiver, and the Learn With Less® facilitator, for instance. I wonder if you can share a little bit about experiences. You shared in our SING episode, a little one who was interested in exploring and needed to regulate their body by moving away. And how you pulled in that child and their caregiver by creating opportunities to continue to involve themselves in the class, even though they had moved away from the space. So I wonder if you can talk a little bit more about how MOVE is integrated into your classes, even within the physicality of the space and the need for movement, or sometimes disregulated children and/or caregivers. Miranda: Yeah, I… oh my gosh, this is something that I think can be really stressful for parents. They envision oftentimes a class, sitting down all together, nobody moving away. And just as the facilitator, I think it’s our job to really set up the situation to say: your child is going to need to move, let’s do what they need to be comfortable, you need to move! And then us, as facilitators, attune to what those needs are. And maybe say it out loud, Oh, I see everybody is ready to get up and go let’s just take our stuff with us. I think for me, it’s really being as responsive as possible. We have certain classes that are designed to focus on movement. But for me, when I run out for classes, just really reading the group. And if we need to move out of the space that we are in to go on a walk, and we sing about the trees, or we… I had – one of my favorite examples, we were pulling the branches on a pine tree down, and using our muscles, and then letting it go and fling up. And it would like fling snow on us. Ayelet: Oh my gosh, that’s so fun! Miranda: How fun to do again and again. But you know, it was in response to… we needed to warm up, we needed to move our bodies. And you could tell that some of the children were getting restless. And so yeah, I think just ensuring that your space that you have, or that parents are comfortable in your space to move around in whatever way they need to. Referencing what you talked about at the beginning, that you know, your home is a container like your classroom space is a container, too, and guess what, sometimes the door needs to be open so your little one can go up and down the hall instead, and take a break from class and use their body that way. Ayelet: Yeah, beautiful. Thank you for that. That’s really wonderful. Yeah, I think that it’s really important for people to know that, too, just about how because that is a really distinguishing marker for how, say, a Learn With Less® class functions versus sometimes other caregiver and child infant-toddler classes, that maybe people are used to. And really how, also your ability as a facilitator, to manage all of that. Because, you know, we have people who are early childhood educators who are maybe more used to managing groups of children, but not necessarily managing caregivers and children. And then we have more interventionists, developmental therapists, who are more maybe used to managing that caregiver and child dyad, but not multiple ones, and not outside of a therapeutic context. So we give a lot of training around all of those things, and how to manage a group and how to really facilitate engagement, and movement, because that is such a big part of it. Supporting Motor and Sensory Development Can Be Simple Miranda: And I think we’re so conditioned to have movement be very prescriptive, almost. You think about – none of this is right or wrong, like you’ve talked so much about. And… use your phrase, Ayelet! Ayelet: It’s not “but,” it’s “and!” Miranda: Yeah, it’s not, you know, so we can attend a dance class AND we can have a dance party with our family at night, that’s not this very structured thing that’s just free. We can go for a run, AND we might just chase our child down the hill. So I think helping again, to just stretch that muscle in your brain and think about what does movement mean? It can mean your baby working on tummy time. But it can also mean that they are stretching their arms up or grabbing their toes, all those things are movement and doesn’t have to be this prescriptive look at movement – that we often see in school, nowadays, right in school. Like this is when recess is, this is when gym time is. I’d love seeing more movement happening in classrooms throughout the day. Ayelet: Yeah, for sure. So good. Yay. Well, Miranda, this has been such a pleasure. Is there anything else you want to add? Miranda: Oh, gosh, no, but I just want to like, I’m ready, I’m ready to move now. And… ready for a dance party? Ayelet: I know, I feel like we need to get moving! So everybody, thank you so much for tuning into these last four episodes. This has been so fun to do with you, Miranda. I really appreciate your time and energy and brain because it’s just so fun to put our heads together and chat about these things that we’re both very passionate about. And I’m just so happy to have you in this space. And as part of Learn With Less®. So thank you for everything you do. And anybody who’s in Lansing, Michigan, especially Miranda, do you want to just share a little bit about what you have going on your community specifically? Miranda: I would love to! And I will just say, too, before I get into that, I just so appreciate all the support Ayelet. And getting to come and talk about this. Yeah, so I am in the process of actually opening up a physical space in Lansing called The Emerging Parent, where I will have Learn With Less® classes and open play, and some other classes and hopefully lots of collaboration with local early childhood providers and parent support people. And so my vision is to really serve families that have young children, who are looking for places to get out and build community in a space that feels safe. You know, here in Michigan, I think one of the things I’ve noticed running classes, it is hard to get out in the winter, it’s important, it’s essential. Oftentimes, parents want to have that opportunity to linger and be together and connect. And so that’s what I’m doing. I’m building a space that will allow us to do that, you know, indoors as well as what we’re done outdoors. So yeah. Ayelet: So special. And you can learn more about that over at Miranda’s website, earlyinterventionmama.com. Again, it’s called The Emerging Parent. So anybody who is or knows anybody with a little person in Lansing, Michigan, head on over because it’s gonna be awesome! All right. And then Miranda, you have a special freebie that pulls together some of the routines we’ve talked about in these last four episodes, can you let people know where to find that? What Do You Think of Our Podcast Series? Miranda: Yeah, you can find that earlyintervention.mama.com/dailyroutinesfreebie. Ayelet: Amazing. And then again, you can also download the Learn With Less® infant and toddler development blueprint that goes through all of these four pillars of PLAY, TALK, SING, and MOVE, in terms of the framework that we use here and how it relates to early development. And that’s over at learnwith less.com/blueprint. We will have all these things in the show notes. And we can’t wait to connect with you. We want to hear all about how you have enjoyed these last four episodes and all the content that we’ve created for you over on Instagram and Facebook with regard to the more visual aspects of the things that we’ve been chatting about. So Miranda, thank you so much. It’s been a pleasure. Let’s do it again sometime. Miranda: All right, that sounds like a plan. Thank you for having me. And like you said, I just look forward to connecting with everybody on socials. Ayelet: Yeah, so @earlyinterventionmama and @learnwithless – head on over and let us know how you enjoyed these episodes! Alright, talk to you soon. Miranda: Bye! The post How to Incorporate Movement into Everyday Routines, with Miranda Zoumbaris & Ayelet Marinovich appeared first on Learn With Less.

Bringing Music Into Your Everyday Routine Can Support Early Learning! This episode of the Learn With Less® podcast is the third of a 4-part series about incorporating play, language, music, and movement, into everyday routines. These episodes feature a conversation between Ayelet Marinovich (pediatric speech-language pathologist, founder and creator of the Learn With Less® curriculum) and Miranda Zoumbaris (early childhood educator & interventionist, licensed Learn With Less® facilitator, and entrepreneur). In this series, we’ll explore the four pillars of the Learn With Less® framework, and examine how we can incorporate more of each of those into our everyday routines to support connection and early learning. For each episode, we chose one routine and one everyday object, and explored the ways in which we could infuse developmentally enriching experiences into everyday life, and helping families see they can do this using the time, energy, and materials they already have. Be sure to check over at our Instagram and Facebook pages (linked below) for additional content that may support your understanding and experience of these episodes. As we release each episode, we’ll link to them here in the show notes so you can access them easily. In this episode, we discussed: What is SING (as we define it in the Learn With Less® curriculum), and how it can be woven into everyday routines How to take the routine of transitioning (from one activity to another, from inside to outside, etc), and incorporate more musical elements into these moments What kinds of musicality can we infuse into the routines we have when it comes to transitioning between activities Using the power of music to create levity in a stressful moment – for both children and adults How to incorporate music into simple routines, using simple, everyday objects The power of “group sing,” and learning within a group How to create inclusive environments for children (or adults) who are reticent or averse to music The value of learning in community, of parallel processing with other families, and of experiencing the practice of following your child’s lead, through caregiver and child classes like those led by licensed Learn With Less® facilitators Helpful Resources to Acknowledge For This Episode: Daily Routines Freebie: download Miranda’s free handout about winter dressing, and get ideas for incorporating play, talk, sing, and move into your everyday routines! Free Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint: what are the four major areas of early development… and how can you use the pillars of Learn With Less® to support that learning, using the time, energy, and materials you already have?! Download our free blueprint today. How to Incorporate Play into Everyday Routines: our first episode in this podcast series, featuring a conversation with Miranda Zoumbaris and Ayelet Marinovich Infant-Directed Speech: Tips for Talking To Your Baby, an early Learn With Less® episode Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program, helping educators and therapists create lasting impact in their communities with a high quality, evidence-based, “plug & play” program Expand Your Impact Workshop Bundle: for early childhood educators and developmental therapists hoping to serve new families in their community and support themselves, using their existing skills Learn With Less® Bundle: our best infant and toddler development resources for families and educators alike, including our bestselling books Understanding Your Baby and Understanding Your Toddler, our acclaimed family music album, recorded Learn With Less® “caregiver & me” classes, and a caregiver handout featuring ideas for carryover in the home Learn With Less® Stories: Testimonials from educators who’ve provided the Learn With Less® infant/toddler family enrichment curriculum and families who’ve experienced our programming. Connect With Us: Miranda: Website / Facebook / Instagram Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of this Episode Ayelet: Okay, welcome back to another episode of the Learn With Less® podcast. I am again joined my my fabulous current co-host Miranda Zoumbaris. Hi, Miranda! Miranda: Hellooooo! Ayelet: Hello! Miranda: I know that’s like almost how I always say hello, when I’m on a call like this. I don’t know why. But… Ayelet: Well, I would like to propose a thought, which is that, I think it’s because it’s fun and playful and musical. And that is the thing that we’re talking about today. I’m very excited because the last few episodes that we’ve been chatting together have been about the first two pillars of Learn With Less®, PLAY and TALK. And today, we’re going to talk about SING! I know that SING is sometimes one of those more divisive, maybe… You either know the power of musicality, and you’re always singing to your child or always humming in the shower, whatever it is. Or, you’re like, nope, I am not musical, I am not a singer, I do not want to do that. I do not feel comfortable, I hate all children’s songs. They sound like nails on a chalkboard… or nobody wants to hear me sing or whatever it is! We all have a story that we have in our heads about what music means to us and our relationship with it. And also, I hope that today, you and I Miranda, can just give people a few extra tools in their toolbox about how they might consider utilizing musicality, and really what that means to us here at Learn With Less® with regards to how we can utilize it with young children, and in our families, and in our daily routines. Because I know, Miranda, you and I both know that there is a great power in singing and in music. And in utilizing music to enhance, energize, or decrease energy and lull to sleep, our young children, or lull into a more regulated state. Lull into? I don’t think that’s really the term I want to use, but help move into a more regulated state. I don’t think I want to be loaded into a regulated state. Miranda: We’re gonna lull you in. Yeah. That’s for our podcast listeners, we’re just going to let you lull you in! Ayelet: Listen to what we say. Anyway. So let’s just talk a little bit. Again, we’ve been doing this structure of sharing with you listeners: what are the definitions about how we define these pillars of PLAY, and TALK and SING and MOVE, those pillars of Learn With Less®. And then also, we’re going to be talking today again, about how we can weave this pillar of SING into everyday routines and give you a few specific examples and ideas around one particular routine. That of… you want to introduce it, Miranda, go ahead? I’ve been talking a lot! Miranda: Yeah, going in and out of the house, or transitions in and out of the house. Ayelet: Yeah, the transition piece and maybe bundling up or heading outside. Miranda, you are in Michigan. And right now it’s January. And it’s wintertime, and it’s cold. Here in California right now, it is also wintertime and it’s been raining a ton. We’ve been very wet. And you know we’re in a drought, still, despite all the rain. But it’s meant a little bit of a different kind of transition for us than maybe our children are used to, and us as adults, as well. So those going in or out transition types of things. So let’s just start a little bit with what is SING as we define it here at Learn With Less®. So really, as we know, singing, yes, can look like singing a song from start to finish through and through. Having particular lyrics, and having it be the lyrics that you associate with that song in particular. Or, it can just be humming a tune, or tapping a rhythm, or moving, swaying to the beat of something that is happening. Holding your child! It can be really just adding a silly element and adding more joy, often, into routines through this idea of musicality: of quickening or slowing the pace. Of enhancing the pitch intonations, which as it happens, is something that we actually naturally do in every single language – spoken or gestural – in the world. It’s what we call infant-directed speech, sometimes referred to as “parentese” or, more archaically, “motherese.” It’s this idea of naturally slowing down, enhancing those pitch contours, being more melodic in our voice, actually. And this is something that I linked to the podcast episode that I did about infant-directed speech years ago. But this is something that we do to help our young children really feel considered naturally. And when we don’t even think about that we’re doing it, right? Think about the connection between all those specific things: shortening a phrase, making your voice more melodic, all those kinds of things… You are already doing it. You are literally already enhancing the musicality and this experience of SING for your child. But then also remembering that we can distract or engage with music. We can heighten an experience or an energy level, like we said, or we can lower the energy level with a lullaby, for instance. We can connect and cuddle with a lullaby, or a cozy song, or we can have a wild dance party. Rhythms are everywhere, right? They are literally everywhere – in the sounds that we hear, the environmental noises everywhere. We can bring them into a song, knock, knock, knock, who’s there? Whatever it is, like Tada, like, there it is. Really, remembering to make music with what you have, whether that is a fancy, organically stained, hand carved wooden drum, or a laundry basket. They are all great. Yeah. So let’s talk a little bit about relating this pillar of SING into this routine of going in and out. And that transitional thing that happen, those micro routines of transitions that we all experience – whether we are at home with our children all day long, whether we have another caregiver with our child all day long. And we’re only present for a couple of routines throughout the day, I want to just really name that this is for all of us. And whether you are a full time working parent, or a full time stay at home caregiver, or anywhere in between, you can utilize this information, you can utilize some of these ideas. Again, these are tools for your tool belt, and I know that you’re present for at least one routine throughout the day. So let’s think about how we can utilize this pillar of SING and make it more fun, if that’s the one you choose. If singing just really doesn’t speak to you, and you’re like, No, I refuse to do that. That’s fine! After you listen to this whole episode, go back and listen to the other ones that we have around, PLAY and TALK and MOVE. But Miranda and I are hoping to convince you otherwise, that there’s something here that you can take away and utilize. So Miranda, take it away, let’s hear a little bit about how we can use this pillar of SING with these routines of going in and out and transitions. Miranda: And the other thing I’ll say before I dive into that, too, is I think I would hope that this will allow anybody that is a little bit hesitant to see SING and music and rhythm around them more frequently. Like when you see your child on the floor banging a whisk that all of a sudden you notice that it happens to be kind of in a rhythm or that you are watching a group of parents swaying back and forth. Nobody told them to do that. They happen to be doing that. Ayelet: Oh my gosh, I still do it when there’s a baby around. Miranda: Right? Yeah! So just open those pathways up in your brain to see it when you go out and pick up on on where it might be coming in. And maybe that makes it a little bit easier for you if you are hesitant, so search it out. But yeah, so, okay, right now I’m gonna give a very real example. So we use SING a lot when we have grumpiness going on in our house. And there is so much grumpiness when it happens to come to transition time, right? So even just the way that we might call our children to come into what we call it the Magic Room. It’s our laundry room where we exit our house, everybody comes in there and we’ll be like, Okay, come to the Magic Room. Ayelet: Oh my gosh, that’s amazing. Miranda: Or, you know, and it’s not every time we’ve talked about this, right? Or it’s time to go, how we say it, you know, the words that we use to give some instruction for older toddlers who may have a good understanding of receptive language, who have good receptive language skills, right? Or we’re modeling it for them. That is a way to kind of get their attention. It’s not mom and dad just chattering in the background. It’s this calling, of them to come. Ayelet: Right, and it’s a shift in tonality that they recognize as distinctly their family. Actually, a funny example of that is a specific whistle that my dad used to use. And if we were in a store, a grocery store, whatever, I’d always know if he was looking for me. I’d be like, Oh, that’s mine. That’s my, that’s my family. That’s my family’s whistle. Right? So that’s just that even – if you don’t want to sing it, or call it, or use your traditional speaking voice, there are other ways to do it. A whistle is great one! Miranda: Yeah, or chanting, right? It’s time to go. It’s time to go. It’s time to go out the door. I know you don’t want to go anymore. It’s time to go out the door. Like it doesn’t have to be singing, it can just be saying you know, I mean… My husband and I sometimes I have some very humorous moments where we’re like we don’t want to go eiiiiither! Ayelet: Love it right? Yes. Miranda: Levity just for us, even. Ayelet:  That’s for sure! Miranda: But yeah, so I would say for us, we use this so much to regulate ourselves. And I think to just rhythm and that beat helps us regulate when we’re having a difficult transition. I think oftentimes, we see clean up songs being used in transition. So thinking about having some kind of song that signals when it’s time for something to be done. Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho it’s inside we go, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo, you know, something like that. So something that, like you said, when you hear it in the store, you knew what it meant? It meant come find me. I’m waiting for you. This signals, Hey, it’s time to come inside. And we’ve set the routine and you know it. Or singing about what we’re going to put on next to go outside? You know, we’re gonna put on your… gloves next. Now we’re going to put on your… hat. Pausing for them to add those things in. Ayelet: Yeah, right holding up the object so they can see what it is and then waiting for them to fill in the word, for instance. Yeah, that’s great. Right or even, the transition that comes to mind for me, this is not like an indoor outdoor but like diaper changing. And especially for a little ones for whom diaper changing and that sensory experience is not a pleasant one, adding in a little levity, through your voice and through song, or just a little playfulness and connection. Where you’re looking into their eyes, and you’re being silly, and you’re my… Do you mind, Miranda, if I share my favorite song that I made up when my child was young? Miranda: No! Please sing about the poop! Ayelet: Is their a poo-poo in there? Is there a poo-poo in there? Was it only  air or is there poo-poo in there? Good one. And it still gets giggles! It still gets giggles. In fact, my six year old now is like, hmmmmm, Mama, stop being silly! There you go. But even if it doesn’t work for him, it works for me! Miranda: Yeah, yeah! Ayelet: What child doesn’t love talking about poop as they get older. Right. So right, right. Good. All right. Back to you, Miranda. Miranda: Oh, well, I’m just remembering, now that you’re singing about your little one, we have lots of songs for this when we were doing diaper changes, too! I used to sing, every party has a pooper, that’s why I invited you! Poopaloop? Poopaloop! Yeah, right! I think we as adults kind of know when we need to add a little bit. And it is such a mood shift. Yeah, I’m sure there’s plenty of research about how music, like you talked about, but how it can really like calm and, and shift moods and all of that. So the other Oh, the other things I’m thinking about, right? If you’re transitioning a little tiny baby to go outside how, as you’re putting them in their car seat, maybe you’re humming, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm! Even if it’s just one tone, because maybe you don’t – you have a Shusher upstairs in your nursery and you don’t have one when you’re putting them in the car. Maybe it’s shh shhh shhh shhh. So even just simplifying it to that, or as you’re swaying, waiting for the garage to close or something, and you’re racking their car seat back and forth. Or giving a gentle bump on it to give a little bit of that patting sensation that they got. Ayelet: Yeah, or just in the stroller, right? I’m thinking of folks who don’t live in suburban areas. Like for the first three years of my journey through parenthood, we lived in cities and did not have a car and so it’s the stroller, right? So yeah, just all of all of the things that’s just think about how you can apply it to you. And if you’re having a hard time envisioning that reach out, reach out to us we we got ideas clearly. I think that’s pretty clear here, Miranda! All right. What else? How about a song modeling a familiar tune with the steps to get ready to leave the house, for instance? Miranda: Yeah. Oh, gosh, we love The Ants Go Marching. My favorite Learn With Less® classes, too, we utilize this, but so let’s let’s just sing it! Let’s say your child really needs you to walk them through each step. It’s time to get our shoes on, hurrah, hurrah. Now we’ll put our coats on, hoorah, hurrah. Time to go out the door, walk to the park once more. And we’ll be ready to go play at the park, at the park park park park… And then you might even say something like and now you’re laying on the floor hurrah, hurrrah. You don’t want to put your shoes on hurrah, hurrah. But we’re gonna do it anyway, so we can go play! You know, I think singing through some of that… Obviously we want to attend and attune when our child is upset, but it does help sometimes to sing through it! You know, sing through it, and then acknowledge where we’re at, and pause and, and use that other pillar of TALK to be at their level. Ayelet: That’s right. That’s right. I love it, I also want to actually use this moment to chat about that power of “group sing” in a Learn With Less® class, for instance, and this is slightly off topic in terms of our routines piece. But I mean, you can certainly utilize it with a caregiving partner even, right, in your own home. Or replicate this in your home with, maybe it’s a family dinner, you know, extended family, if you can get people on board. But my goodness, when you have people within your community all singing the same tune at the same time, there are such limited opportunities for humans to experience this. I think, especially in the United States, outside of, say, a religious or cultural, specifically cultural experience, I would say. It’s that creation of a ritual that is very special, and very special somehow to give our children the experience of. Can you, would you mind talking a little bit about what that can feel like for families in your classes or for you as the facilitator of a space that’s doing that? Miranda: Yeah, I mean, to me, it’s like the evolution. When I have a group of families that have committed to come for a several week session, the beauty of the evolution of them coming at the first class and kind of looking around, like, we’re gonna do this? We’re gonna do that… we’re gonna, oh okay, everybody’s singing, I’m good, I’m gonna join in! Or they’re like, oh, I want to, I want to have this moment with my baby. And they sing. And just, I think, you know, to see people be a little bit afraid, a little bit brave, too, to call out something to add into a song. Or maybe they really enjoyed the singing piece of it. And other parents get a giggle out of it, because they’re singing about something ridiculous. Or oftentimes using humor, and we all can sing together. We’ve had little celebrations, you know, at classes, too. I know some people, some people celebrate birthdays, some people don’t. But like, that’s really a powerful thing to have happen on a normal basis. But for us all to sing together, or when oh, gosh, this is a good example. I had a class where we were doing, “way up high in the apple tree.” And I am not very familiar with that song. And I had a few other parents who were! I was like, Oh, please, please. And they just kind of go over for that part. Just, the joy that we had hearing them sing and lead was just… yeah, just just really wonderful. I think in class – Ayelet, you and I are reading a book right now, and one of the things that it talks about in that is the power of strangers. Kind of how you might be a little bit more willing. And I think there is that element of it to a Learn With Less® class, too! You’re coming into it and you know, it’s not your, it’s not your aunts and your uncles that you never sing around that you just happen to be doing. It’s just everybody is getting to know each other, perhaps, and there is that element of… well, they don’t really know me, I guess I can sing and feel comfortable and, and do it. Ayelet: That’s right. That’s right. And also just noting that creating accommodations, too, for people who are like either not interested in singing. Or where song or music or voices in unison can be a very overwhelming sensory experience both for adults and children in the space. So creating opportunities for families to note that this might be an issue in advance, or noticing yourself as the facilitator of a space when there might be some discomfort for a child for instance, who’s covering their ears because things are too loud. And just giving that opportunity also in a community group that creates that space that helps people feel seen and heard, and helps them feel noticed and valued. And their needs valued. So I just wanted to say that, as well. Miranda: I love that you’re pointing that out because that’s bringing up for me, I have a little person who has attended several of my classes and he needs to move. And a lot of times the start of that movement is with the welcoming when we’re all together having that group sing of the Hello Song. And he kind of heads off on that. Then when we, it has been really great with the outdoor classes I’ve done, to allow him to move away — or not allowed, just to, we have the space and safety in place for him to be able to move far away from the group. But ironically enough, sometimes with that SING portion, being able to call out to the mom across, she’s a little bit away attending her little one, to invite her back in, be a part of the SING like, “call out what he’s doing right now and we’re gonna sing about it!” It kind of brings her back even though she might not be able to be right at the circle. Ayelet: Exactly, exactly right. Because within that structure, there’s always… It is like, we like to call it sort of a semi structured class structure. Because yeah, there’s always that flexibility. And you’re never stuck trying to accommodate the needs of a curriculum versus the needs of the families within your space. So yeah, love that. Thank you. That’s a that’s, I think that’s really helpful for people to know, actually. Anything else? What other songs do we want to leave people with? Or other other ideas for song prompts, right? Miranda: Yes. So what about if you’re, we oftentimes, on the way going places, instead of singing Wheels On The Bus, we’ll sing about the wheels on the car. So we’re just changing a little bit. Yeah, you know, the wheels on my car go round and round. Or the clip on your car seat goes click, click, click. Or with a stroller, right the buckles on the stroller go click, click, click. Or on your carrier, or whatever it is, but taking that very familiar song and just changing a little bit of it is something we do all the time in Learn With Less®. It doesn’t have to be a particular song. Pick something that you know, and feel comfortable changing. Or instead of singing, like we talked about, do a chant: buckle buckle, put on the buckle! Ayelet: Talk through it in a rhythmic way. Miranda: I just want to point out, too, we’re talking I think a lot about activities that work really well for toddlers. But just keep in mind, you’re doing a lot of this with your babies and infants, tiny people. And yeah, they need to hear this language. They need to hear your voice and be connected with you from the time they’re very little. So, just remembering that they’re soaking all that in, like we talked about, from the womb, and though when you’re pulling them out of their bassinet in the morning, or rolling over if you co-sleep. Good morning, good morning, you know, just those little moments with your tiny ones. It doesn’t have to look like this preschool circle that you’re sitting around. Ayelet: That’s right. Thank you for that. That’s so important for people to just remember and hold. Awesome. All right, well, Miranda, just a little recap of where they can find, our listeners, a special little freebie that you’ve created all around routines. Why don’t people head over to your website at… Miranda: https://earlyinterventionmama.com/dailyroutinesfreebie! Ayelet: Amazing. And of course, go ahead, if you haven’t already, go ahead and download the Learn With Less® infant and toddler development blueprint that goes through all of the four pillars of Learn With Less® that we’re talking about in these four episodes of PLAY, TALK, SING, and MOVE. And just what they’re all about and how they can relate to early development, as well. So go ahead and follow what we’re doing over at Instagram and Facebook and social media in relation to these episodes, because we’ve got lots more visual content and maybe even more auditory content that you can see us doing these things. What we’re doing with our hands or the things that we’re holding with relation to the music or chants or songs that we are encouraging you to utilize. And we’d love to hear from you about what you feel regarding this episode. Did this change anybody’s perspective? Give you new ideas for utilizing music or musicality in new ways? What’s your big takeaway? We’d love to hear it. So head over to Instagram and let us know. I love Instagram right now. Looking forward to see you at @earlyinterventionmama and over @learnwithless. We will be back next week with our final installment of these four pillars, with our pillar of MOVE. So we’re going to be talking all about that next week. But in the meantime, head over and we will see you on the socials. Okay, bye Miranda! Miranda: Good bye! The post How to Incorporate Music Into Everyday Routines appeared first on Learn With Less.

Use Everyday Routines to Build Language Skills In Young Children: It’s Powerful! This episode of the Learn With Less® podcast is the second of a 4-part series about incorporating play, language, music, and movement, into everyday routines. These episodes feature a conversation between Ayelet Marinovich (pediatric speech-language pathologist, founder and creator of the Learn With Less® curriculum) and Miranda Zoumbaris (early childhood educator & interventionist, licensed Learn With Less® facilitator, and entrepreneur). In this series, we’ll explore the four pillars of the Learn With Less® framework, and examine how we can incorporate more of each of those into our everyday routines to support connection and early learning. For each episode, we chose one routine and one everyday object, and explored the ways in which we could infuse developmentally enriching experiences into everyday life, and helping families see they can do this using the time, energy, and materials they already have. Be sure to check over at our Instagram and Facebook pages (linked below) for additional content that may support your understanding and experience of these episodes. As we release each episode, we’ll link to them here in the show notes so you can access them easily. In this episode, we discussed: What is TALK (as we define it in the Learn With Less® curriculum), and how it can be woven into everyday routines How to take the routine of nose-blowing and other self care routines, and incorporate more language into these moments What kinds of language routines we can create with an item like a tissue or tissue box Using language to create levity in a stressful moment – for both children and adults How to incorporate language strategies into simple routines, using simple, everyday objects The value of learning in community, of parallel processing with other families, and of experiencing the practice of following your child’s lead, through caregiver and child classes like those led by licensed Learn With Less® facilitators Helpful Resources to Acknowledge For This Episode: Daily Routines Freebie: download Miranda’s free handout about winter dressing, and get ideas for incorporating play, talk, sing, and move into your everyday routines! Free Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint: what are the four major areas of early development… and how can you use the pillars of Learn With Less® to support that learning, using the time, energy, and materials you already have?! Download our free blueprint today. How to Incorporate Play into Everyday Routines: our first episode in this podcast series, featuring a conversation with Miranda Zoumbaris and Ayelet Marinovich The Power of the Pause, an early Learn With Less® episode Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program, helping educators and therapists create lasting impact in their communities with a high quality, evidence-based, “plug & play” program Expand Your Impact Workshop Bundle: for early childhood educators and developmental therapists hoping to serve new families in their community and support themselves, using their existing skills Learn With Less® Bundle: our best infant and toddler development resources for families and educators alike, including our bestselling books Understanding Your Baby and Understanding Your Toddler, our acclaimed family music album, recorded Learn With Less® “caregiver & me” classes, and a caregiver handout featuring ideas for carryover in the home Learn With Less® Stories: Testimonials from educators who’ve provided the Learn With Less® infant/toddler family enrichment curriculum and families who’ve experienced our programming. Connect With Us: Miranda: Website / Facebook / Instagram Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of this Episode Ayelet: Okay, welcome back to the Learn with Less® Podcast. Today I am joined by my current co-host Miranda Zoumbaris. Hi, Miranda! Miranda: Hi! I’m so glad to be back! Ayelet: Yay! Let’s go ahead… Last week, we had an episode all about that first pillar of Learn With Less®, which is PLAY. So, go back, if you haven’t listened to that, and grab all of the things that we talked about, listen to all of that, and catch up with all of the content that we’ve created over on Instagram and Facebook and places at @earlyinterventionmama and @learnwithless, and you can get caught up with all the great stuff all about PLAY. But this week… Miranda, what are we talking about this week? Miranda: We’re going to talk about TALK! We’re going to talk about talk, and talk about playing with some tissues or tissue boxes. Ayelet: Yeah, last week, we talked a little bit about what play is, and then different routine examples of using a specific object in play. This week, we’re going to do the same thing about TALK. And the object that we’ve chosen for this week is, as you said, that whole routine of blowing your nose. Blowing, the sort of handkerchief, nose blowing, tissue pulling type stuff. Tissues and self care, really, is the topic that we’re gonna chat about. Let’s talk a little bit about what talk is, as we define it in Learn With Less®. I can start there. And then I’m going to hand it off to you to chat a little bit more about the different routines that we’re going to chat about. So when we’re talking about this pillar of TALK, what we’re really discussing is discussion, the act of discussion and observation. The idea of repetition with variation. Because every single day, we hope, you’re having some kind of conversation with your young child. Within daily routines… is such a wonderful time to really give into that discussion and observation. Instead of quietly changing your child’s diaper, this is a great opportunity to say the same kinds of things at the same time. Because then you’re repeating yourself and giving context to words. So for instance, oh, let’s take it off, when you’re taking off the diaper. You can sequence events, and look at what’s coming next, and all of those things. So you’re repeating, and you’re giving a lot of consistency, but then a little bit of variation, right, the pattern adjusts a little bit each time. We’re also talking about, when we’re talking about TALK, we’re having this conversation about communicating for a variety of purposes, not just “what’s this, what’s that” – labeling, which is, I think, something that a lot of us as adults tend to get stuck in in terms of quizzing and drilling our little ones. That’s how oftentimes we’ve learned what learning is! It looks like taking tests and quizzing. Also as the grownups in the room, we want to hear our children say those words, we want to see that they can identify something. We want to know what they know, we want to see what they know. We want to show our loved ones what they know. And also, because again, we’re talking about not just the but/or its AND. So, we want to communicate for a variety of purposes. We want to ask our child questions. We want to wonder aloud, we want to imitate them. We want to talk about what’s happening around us, how something feels, what it looks like. And notice what they are noticing – and say those things out loud. And then, of course, we also want to communicate to our little ones using a variety of means and modes of communication, right? We know that right now, Miranda and I are sitting at two different computers looking at each other on Zoom, and she’s nodding, That tells me that she’s listening, right, and she’s smiling. That tells me that she’s engaged. And all of those nonverbal communication skills also assist in communicating and engaging with each other as humans. So whether it’s gestures and pointing or clapping. Or whether it’s moving towards or away from our little one. Whether it’s facial expression, or different kinds of motor movements, like hugs or pushing something away, not everything has to be positive! Really showing that there are so many ways to communicate what we need, what we want, what we think what we’re wondering what we’re questioning. Then finally just modeling what you want to see both in terms of the kinds of communicative behaviors that you want your child to then imitate and replicate because goodness knows. Some of the things that I’m noticing in my nine year old right now are directly influenced by things that I’m like, Oh my gosh, I wish I wasn’t like that. I wish I didn’t do that to him because now he’s doing that to his little brother. That doesn’t feel very good. Yeah. How lovely. So just bringing that awareness to ourselves, because even from before day one, they are learning from us. So those are the pieces that I wanted to start with in terms of what is TALK. Right. So let’s talk a little bit about, Miranda, how to utilize routines with regard to this pillar of TALK. Miranda: Yeah, absolutely. So oh my gosh, There literally is so much to talk about. So let’s really think about that self care routine and your child has a runny, gunky nose. So maybe you start by explaining what’s going to happen, if that works for your child. So you’re using language. I see you, you have boogers coming out of your nose. It’s about to get on your mouth. Let’s find a tissue to clean it up. Or maybe you want to give some choices. You know, you have boogers on your nose. Do you want to wipe or a tissue so you can wipe it and allowing them to do it, giving some choices! Or maybe you’re the one blowing your nose! And your baby looks up at you startled! Or you know, you’re running a Learn With Less® class and you make the children cry when you blow your nose! Ayelet: I assume we’re speaking from personal experience! Miranda: Yes. I did a playful sneeze, and I had about three crying babies. And they were like, Yeah, that’s kind of traumatic right now! You have to know your audience! But you have your tiny baby looking up at you because you just sneezed or you blew your nose – to useTALK to change the pitch and tone of your voice to let them know it’s okay. Whoa, you were startled, and I blew my nose – that was loud. And then you pause and look at your child and give them an opportunity to go oh! And kind of reconnect and that serve and return that we get with TALK, too. So I think in all those different examples, right? They’re just little micro routines that are happening around nose blowing, but we’re able to use that pillar of TALK. And I think playfully too, like I said during class where we’re pretending to sneeze really loud using noises… Ayelet: Yes, right, right, those social sounds. Yeah, I love that. And actually, just another note about that is that, again, we talk about these four different pillars, sometimes as if they’re four distinct, different things. But there’s always overlap. Just like when we’re working on a communication skill, we’re also often working on a motor skill. And we’re also often working on a cognitive skill. So there is overlap in all of this, especially in those first three years of life. So I love that you brought that to our attention, Miranda. Let’s talk a little bit about some of those kinds of things in terms of… So we’re talking about blowing the nose, but also like wiping faces, putting a mask on talking through some of those things. Let’s just chat about how we can useTALK in terms of – you had said a little bit about nose blowing, but also tissue pulling, right? Even just taking little pieces of fabric out of a box and just saying some of the words right? Out! Out! Pull! All of these things have so much potential for adding a more language-rich environment into your everyday routines. And so providing those examples of little tiny bits of language to offer during some of those nose blowing and caregiving [routines]. Do you want to give a few more examples? Miranda? Miranda: Sure. Yeah, I’d love to. I’m thinking now because we talked about that pulling something out of a box: wipes! That’s the same thing is a tissue, right? So maybe you talk about opening the wipe, the little button, push! And then put it in front of your child and maybe you don’t say anything. Maybe you look expectantly at them and just wait, give that power of the pause that we talk about in Learn With Less®, and see what they do. Do they say something back to you? Do they reach for it, but we’re looking at them with this playful expectation that says, Hey, it’s your turn to do something? What are you going to do? So that’s one thing that I’m thinking and then just like you said, maybe it’s not wipes or tissues that you’re pulling out? Because those do get expensive. You know, and they are a valuable resource then maybe we save that empty box to put things in that we’re okay getting continually pulled in and out because… Ayelet: Yeah, it might be mail – Junk Mail. Yeah, pieces of paper, envelopes that we’re pulling out. It might be postcards, it might be… I’m just thinking about paper now. But other little scraps like scraps of fabric or ribbons or ties or hair ties, hair pulls… any – it can be any little thing! I’m just riffing on different things that you can put in and pull out that are just everyday items used in self care routines. Miranda: Then thinking about what do we do with like a blanket right off Sometimes we’re hiding behind that. So playing peekaboo thinking about taking that and using it when you’re using a tissue or a wipe. Or maybe you happen to be sitting out waiting to get into a restaurant, the only thing you have in your pocket is the tissue. And it’s a clean one! And you pull it out to play peekaboo, or maybe you pull it out and ball it up in your hand and give a big puff of air and blow it across the table and take turns practicing that back and forth. And again, you’re giving that turn taking which is essential to communication and you’re playing and talking about it. Maybe we do a verbal routine, crumple that tissue or mask or whatever you have in your hand. 1,2,3 – And we throw it in the air! Lots of ways to add language and play and all the pillars. Ayelet: Yep, that’s right. Yeah, I love that idea of crumpling up a tissue or even a little piece of paper or a mask or whatever it is – something really light right it can be a cotton ball and then blowing it across a floor right the vinyl or laminate or wooden floor. Yeah, and then watch it go! So BLOW, GO, taking something OUT of a box – out! Pretending to sneeze, all of the Ah-CHOO! And ooooh – when is mom or dad or other caregiver going to finish? That anticipation of “choo!” coming right? Or finding a hidden toy, or hidden whisk, under one of a few of the hankies, handkerchiefs, for instance. So yeah, UNDER, ooh, WHERE? Where could it be? You put something under! Where is it?! So much language in there – anything else you can think of Miranda? Miranda: I was imagining if you don’t have a box to pull things out, of that maybe you shove it in your couch. Or maybe you’re cleaning your socks out of your couch that got taken off and you’re pulling that in a silly way or pretending and you’re pulling! Oh, what did I say? I found a sock. Maybe it’s not a sock, maybe it’s a maybe it’s a tissue, and pretending, or a hand puppet. Put it on as a puppet. Ayelet: Yeah. Well, I’m thinking about my getting-more-stinky-as-we-go  little people. But there are always socks. There are always socks hanging around the house. That is, yeah, that is the eternal issue… Why are your socks here? Again? Child. Yeah, again, that levity that we talked about in the last episode, when you’re feeling energized and frustrated. How can we bring that a little bit of play and language into that? Love it. Miranda: And as you’re saying that I’m just thinking about how we’ve talked about repetition with variation. And in this instance, last episode, we talked about how you might say, we need to put your gloves on your feet! Come here. Also, if you have a child that’s resisting nose blowing: we need to blow your nose come here, and you wipe their ear! So using that same concept of I’m going to do something that’s not quite right, in a silly way, you know, using it and then switching it to something different. The next time. I always talk with parents about all these little things are tools that go in your tool belt. And sometimes when you’re just getting more comfortable using those concepts, it helps to have a script like that. I’ll pretend to put something on a different body part or wipe a different party part or tickle a different body part. So to kind of have that in your mind as a way to help you stretch that muscle of play and talk. Ayelet: It’s so true. I love how you said that too, Miranda. Because I think that is the real key differentiator of the biggest difference between you and I who came into parenthood with this set of tools… versus a parent or caregiver who really never spent a whole lot of time, maybe, with kids or young children before. Having access to those little tools to pull from, from the very beginning. Now, number one, I want to say that does not solve all the things. So if you’re, if you’re a professional who is hoping to have children one day and thinks you’re gonna be the best parent ever, because you’re already an early interventionist of some kind, yeah, good luck. Miranda: We will wait for the enlightening, the enlightenment. Ayelet: Right? But yes, there are there are some nice aspects to having that knowledge. And that is the whole point, I think, of number one, why we’re here with you today. And number two, what Learn With Less® is all about, and what we’re doing in our classes. Miranda, actually, I wanted to just ask you as a Learn With Less® facilitator, what are some of the… because before we hit the record button, we’ve been chatting a little bit about those little moments of “aha moments” for families in your classes. For instance, that when they realize like, Oh, this is what play can look like, Oh, this is what talk can look like, and how simple actually, it really is right? Because we see all this content on Instagram or we read all the parenting books. And we hear all of the messages that oh, we need more and to do more and to buy more and to blah, blah, blah. But really, it’s about simplification and just utilizing these simple simple routines and simple objects. So I was wondering if you could just talk a little bit about that. Miranda: Yeah, absolutely. I think it’s so interesting to watch parents have this surprise that they come to a class and their child happened to play with a tissue box for 40 minutes. And they did it together with them, and it was fun! Or that they played with a big shower curtain, rising above and below, and that those were the things that their child was most interested in. So I think just that feeling of watching on parents faces experience the delight that their child has in those simple interactions. And then getting to see later on maybe as they’re coming into class or leaving class, that they’re infusing some of that in the moment practicing it. Maybe they’re trying to have a conversation with a parent that they met during their little uncertain thing get fussy, and they pretend to sneeze! Because you’re doing that in class and their little one thought it was so funny, and so they’re like, oh, that worked! Yeah, so absolutely, I think just watching them see that it’s a simple things. And then like you said, just adding a little bit of variation to it. Just me as a facilitator, I really view it too, as my role is to be like, I’m not doing anything, like I’m literally just pulling a tissue and pretending to go “ah-choo!” This is completely accessible to you. If you don’t have a voice, we can use the action, that we can modify, like, there are thousands of ways to modify this, to make it fun. And just really taking away too, I think that feeling of, “she can do it better than I can” or  “they have more ideas.” No, put it back on them. Ayelet: Like, actually, your child is going to show us what their ideas are. And then we’re gonna follow what they do. That’s literally, that’s a Learn With Less® class. And also, one thing in there that I really wanted to highlight is it’s not just… your role as a Learn With Less® facilitator is you’re not just illuminating that these are the simple objects that they can play with. It’s that you are connecting that there is a developmental value inherent in the ways in which they can very simply interact with those everyday objects. And you’re taking away the facade or the illusion that it has to be a fancy subscription box full of toys, or it has to be purchased from a specific aisle in a specific kind of store to have developmental value. You’re totally busting that myth, you’re doing what what I like to talk about is, showing everybody that the emperor has no toys, that it’s just what you already have! You and your child, letting the child lead the way. Noticing what your child is interested in. And then providing a more robust version of these four pillars of play, talk, sing and move, around your child when you have the capacity. And that’s what you are doing and in your Learn With Less® classes, Miranda, and it’s clearly helping the families in your community because they keep coming back! Miranda: And it’s so it’s so fun to just model that, you highlighting, we’re watching what the kids are doing, right? We’re watching what the babies and the infants are interested in and what they’re doing. And I think, too, we model that by also watching what our parents do, you know, in class, that whole parallel process! If you see a parent that happens to be pretending, if you see in that class, or maybe they’re gently waving a blanket up and down and up and down. And we might gently nudge them and say, Tell me more about why you did that. Or, I saw that you noticed your little one really wanted that scarf. They were looking intently at it. How did you think to do that little song? And just looking at the parents and watching them and letting them lead. That way they can do the same thing with their little ones. Ayelet: That’s right. And then the value of doing that within a group setting is that other families can notice that, and see that, and observe different ways of being with children. And my goodness, especially as we come out of the deepest, darkest depths of COVID. What a beautiful, what a beautiful thing. And I will say we’ve been doing also all of these classes virtually, as well. And that is an incredible thing to witness because as we know virtual connection can be actually just as fulfilling in many ways. Miranda: Yes. From from here in Michigan to you in California, Ayelet. Ayelet: Here we are right now! Exactly. Right. So let’s just wrap this one up today, this episode. Go ahead, Miranda, and let us know where people can find this special little present that you have created for our listeners. Miranda: You can add the earlyinterventionmama.com/dailyroutinesfreebie. I’d love to have you download my dressing routines guide. Ayelet: So fun. So fun. So fun. Awesome. And then of course, you can go to learnwithless.com/blueprint to download the Learn With Less® infant & toddler development blueprint that really kind of outlines just all of those four different pillars that we’re talking about in these four episodes as well. So hurray, head over to our Instagram and Facebook profiles, as well, for some more visual content around what we’re talking about today at @earlyinterventionmama and @learnwithless, and go ahead and DM us if you have ideas or thoughts or takeaways from these episodes, because we love to hear what people say. And of course, also feel free to comment on on our stuff, because it’s really fun! And it’s actually I love having these conversations with you, Miranda, so I’m looking forward to our next episode! Until then, we’ll see y’all next time. Miranda: Goodbye! The post How to Incorporate Language into Everyday Routines, with Miranda Zoumbaris and Ayelet Marinovich appeared first on Learn With Less.

Turning Everyday Routines into Developmentally Enriching Play Experiences (Hint: You’ve Already Got What You Need) This episode of the Learn With Less® podcast is the first of a 4-part series about incorporating play, language, music, and movement, into everyday routines. These episodes feature a conversation between Ayelet Marinovich (pediatric speech-language pathologist, founder and creator of the Learn With Less® curriculum) and Miranda Zoumbaris (early childhood educator & interventionist, licensed Learn With Less® facilitator, and entrepreneur). In this series, we’ll explore the four pillars of the Learn With Less® framework, and examine how we can incorporate more of each of those into our everyday routines to support connection and early learning. For each episode, we chose one routine and one everyday object, and explored the ways in which we could infuse developmentally enriching experiences into everyday life, and helping families see they can do this using the time, energy, and materials they already have. Be sure to check over at our Instagram and Facebook pages (linked below) for additional content that may support your understanding and experience of these episodes. As we release each episode, we’ll link to them here in the show notes so you can access them easily. In this episode, we discussed: What is PLAY (as we define it in the Learn With Less® curriculum), and how it can be woven into everyday routines How to take the routine of putting transitioning indoors and outdoors, and incorporate more playfulness into these moments What kinds of play routines we can create with an item like a glove Using play to create levity in a stressful moment – for both children and adults You are the expert on your child, on what routines are useful for you, and on how you play with your little one Helpful Resources to Acknowledge For This Episode: Daily Routines Freebie: download Miranda’s free handout about winter dressing, and get ideas for incorporating play, talk, sing, and move into your everyday routines! Free Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint: what are the four major areas of early development… and how can you use the pillars of Learn With Less® to support that learning, using the time, energy, and materials you already have?! Download our free blueprint today. Listen, Learn, & Advocate: Support New Families, featuring Sydney Bassard Maximizing Natural Language Opportunities, Without Toys, featuring Joanne Cazeau How to Use Everyday Routines to Boost Infant & Toddler Development, featuring Stacey Landberg Parent Coaching and Routines for Early Language Development, featuring Cari Ebert Connect With Us: Miranda: Website / Facebook / Instagram Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of this Episode Ayelet: Hi, Miranda! Miranda: Hi, Ayelet! Ayelet: So, I’m really happy that we’re here together today to do some recording of these podcast episodes. This is a series that you and I are co-creating and putting together just a little bit of content for both of our audiences. And I want to just start by giving you the chance to introduce yourself to anybody who does not yet know you, because you’re the co host of these four episodes that we’re about to start releasing. So, take it away! Miranda: I’m Miranda Zoumbaris, and I am… I am an entrepreneur! I spent 14 years in early intervention and serving families through a few different programs. And then transition to being a stay at home mom while also offering Learn With Less® classes. And that’s how Ayelet and I know each other! So yeah, now I would describe myself more as an entrepreneur than I would an early interventionist, although my instagram handle is @earlyinterventionmama, and I don’t think that’s going away anytime soon. Ayelet: Right! Well, I love how you stated that because it is a very strange shift in identity, what both you and I have been doing over the years. We started as these helper people in the communities that we are both a part of, and then transitioned into working with families and professionals in a different way. So today, and for the next few episodes, we’re going to be sharing a little bit about the Learn with Less® framework: play, talk, sing and move – the four pillars of the learning with Less® framework. As well as routines, and routines-based intervention in terms of how this relates to supporting early development for families. And then giving professionals also some ideas and thoughts and resources to help support families that are looking to just utilize more of what they already have. I know Miranda, you and I are both very committed to this idea of number one, family focused services, and really putting the power in the hands of the family and helping to show them what they already have access to and how they can utilize that. So let’s just start, I guess, by talking a little bit about what “play” is. And then we can talk a little bit about some examples of how we can weave that into everyday routine. Miranda: Yeah, well, I would just I just want to add before we hop into play, too, I think so often, there are providers, or even parents, who look at play as one routine. And so I think just really reminding everybody that play can be woven into any routines. And if there are parents or therapists who are listening to this episode and thinking like, Okay, well, that’s great, but I really don’t want to do Routines Based work. I want to stick with my very play based therapy. I think we just keep that in mind, right? That play, yes, is a routine. But play and playfulness can be woven into any routine. And, you know, just something to kind of keep in mind. Ayelet: Yeah, I love that. I think part of what we’re trying to do here today is just have a little bit more of a nuanced conversation about: it’s not routines based intervention versus play-based intervention, or Routines-Based Services versus play-based services. It’s not one philosophy versus another. It’s all/and and it’s not and/or. Let’s talk a little bit about what we mean, first of all, by “play,” and I’d love to start, if it’s okay with you, with how we define it within the Learn With Less® framework of that first pillar of play, in terms of play being really all about open-ended experiences. When we think about that term… because I think it’s one of those things that’s thrown around by professionals a lot! It’s important to think about, okay, there’s no specific end-goal. This is about exploring, experimenting with a variety of objects, in a variety of different environments. Whether that means indoors or outdoors, in the hallway, in the kitchen, whatever it is. And really just remembering that instead of that definition of play that I think a lot of us as grownups start off with, or have defined for ourselves, as: we play a game. There’s a specific set of steps involved. There’s a start, and a middle and an end. There’s a trajectory and an arc. And yet, we know that when it comes to playing with infants and toddlers, especially, that’s not what it is, right? It’s it’s more about being flexible and accepting what is happening in the environment. Miranda: That’s right. That’s right. So it’s up to us to help to just see what happens, and let it unfold in front of us. And provide language around it, provide opportunities for movement around it. Provide music, is often something, right? I think the thing to think about, too, is just taking a little bit to sit back and watch the children you work with or your own child – and they are really good at it! It is a muscle, I think, for so many adults – myself included – to really stretch, to embrace that open-ended exploration. To look at a toy that you are going… okay, this is a little person, I need to put it in the bed. Versus, we can just play dumb, bring it in and out, or we can play hiding it. So I think, letting our children guide us because they really are so good at that open-ended piece of it. They have less of that structure that things have to be a certain way, I think in their brain, than we do, oftentimes. Ayelet: So I think one of the things that it’s important for us, that we wanted to set out and discuss today, was giving examples for families and professionals about how play can be woven into everyday routines. So you and I took the idea of… let’s come up with a specific object that we could think of, that would really help to define all the things that we could do within many different routines, with a single object – that’s not traditionally thought of as a toy or a play object! So do you want to go ahead and introduce what that is? Miranda: Yeah. So we are going to be taking a look at gloves within that pillar of play, that focus of play. So when you hear gloves, I want you to if you’re listening, stretch in your mind what that might think. Here in Michigan,  gloves or mittens for winter. But think about the gloves that you might wear for washing dishes in the sink! If you might happen to have access to a glove because you happen to be sitting in the doctor’s office, and they’re they’re accessible. So just kind of really start by just stretching that, and not thinking oh, like a glove that you put on to go outside because you’re cold. You know, there’s more than one way that we can kind of think about that even, in itself. Ayelet: Yes, I cannot even say how many times we’ve been in the waiting room. Yes. How many ways can we use this thing? So, perfect. Okay, we’ve got the idea of gloves. All right, what are some of the things that we could think of to provide for ideas for families and professionals listening? Things that we could do to play with gloves or mittens within routines of everyday life? And first of all, I think, maybe starting with defining routines, right? What are some of the routines that families are experiencing every day. So those might be those big things that we think of, and we’ve talked a lot about this, on the Learn With Less® podcast, and I’ll link to a few other episodes that will be really helpful, as well. But things like the big ones, like waking up, getting out, dressing, diaper changes, bathing, feeding, nap time. But the little ones, like in the in-between moment, right? Miranda: Yes, those micro routines. Ayelet: Yeah. What are some examples that you go to, usually, Miranda? Miranda: Oh, so one thing that I’m thinking about is leaving childcare. So like, getting your child suited up to get out to the car. Or you’re trying to cook your eggs on the stove, you know, and you happen to be in the kitchen. And it’s not breakfast yet. And it’s not wakeup time. But it’s that little five minute where you’re, you’re in between. You know, so I think all those routines and to keep in mind that it’s not about schedule, it’s what is happening. And I think to just the little connection moments can be routine, too. So for me and my daughters,, I think there are some routines that are play-based and connection where let’s say we play a chase game. It’s a little routine that kind of has a script for us.That, to me, is a routine, too. Ayelet: Yes, the social routines. Miranda: Yeah, the social routine. Exactly. Those are what come to mind. Ayelet: I love it. Yeah, that’s great. So let’s give our fair listeners a few ideas for utilizing this idea of gloves of any kind, whether, again, it’s mittens, gloves for outside, soccer gloves, or dishwashing gloves, or surgical gloves. But how we could utilize anything, really, that you put on your hand. It could even be a bag, right? Yeah. Miranda: Yeah, oven mitts! Ayelet: That’s exactly right! How did we, how did we forget that? Yes, exactly. How can we give some ideas for how to utilize those in play? So we’re releasing this episode now, you’ve heard it, you’re listening to it. And you can also go over too @earlyinterventionmama, and @learnwithless on Instagram and Facebook to check out some of these examples in a more visual way. Because, we’ve gone ahead and we’re releasing some reels and different kinds of posts on social media so that you can really see the examples that we’re going to talk through. Miranda, why don’t you go ahead and start with the ideas that you have for playing with gloves or mittens? Miranda: Yeah. So in terms of gloves, I just want to go off of what we talked about today, even. And I can create some more things off of that. So think about your oven mitt, any glove that you might have in the kitchen, right? So oftentimes, they’re going to be those bigger kitchen gloves that you’re pulling on for doing dishes or an oven mitt. I want you to think about using it kind of as a container to put things in. So maybe you’ve noticed that your child likes to fill and dump, and you’re looking for something to give them putting spoons and you know, whatever safe for them in the moment! But spoons, and different things from your kitchen drawer, pull out those odds and ends and put them in and out, and in and out of an oven, or put that oven mitt on and pretend to eat their toes. Right. Yum yum yum! It now becomes a puppet, almost! I think, other things that we might think of, are when you’re getting ready to go out, pretending to put them in a different spot, right? Oh, let’s put your gloves on. And maybe you put it on their head, you just set it on their head, and they’re gonna tell you, that’s not what it’s supposed to look like. So you’re being playful with them as you’re you’re getting ready to go out. Ayelet: I love that. Yeah, that’s great. I want to also be specific here and just really call out the fact that we’re giving lots of ideas, you don’t have to do all of these things, you get to choose some of these things that really speak to you. And also leave out the ones that don’t. Because I know, for instance, people are very specific about their kitchens. Some people love creating a little space kind of a thing within their kitchens, one cabinet that is just low and open to the child. And that’s just, they get to go in and out of it, or explore anything that’s in that one cabinet. Or maybe they don’t have access to cabinets at all. And you have a limited space in your kitchen, for instance. And maybe you have like a little basket or a bag of things that are available to your child, and there’s like a salad spinner or a dishwashing glove, for instance. And so I just wanted to really name the fact that you don’t have to do this, this particular thing. This particular idea that we’re giving you, any of them? Obviously, there’s no should’s or have to’s. And the whole purpose of all of this is to give you tools for your own at-home routines. In your experience of early parenthood, and in your caregiving day to day life. So just wanted to clarify that. Yeah, go ahead. Miranda: I was gonna say I think that is just one of the beautiful things about Learn With Less®. That it leans so heavily on that improvisation. Ayelet, you talked about that like as part of your background, too. And I think, like you said, for parents to know: you are the expert on what your child enjoys, and you are the expert on what routines work within your family. And that is why, I think in terms of routine, it’s so important for professionals to rely on parents to show that to us. So we might not if we’re a professional, we’re not going to take this episode and go, Oh, gloves, great. I’m going to bring those on my home visit the next time… No, like wait for that family that maybe says oh my gosh, every time we have to put gloves on to go outside it’s terrible! And then you can think about, how do we make this a little bit more fun and engaging and playful to de-stress. So I think just relying heavily, like you’re saying Ayelet that this isn’t something that needs to be done. But parents know. And therapists can rely on parents to know what things do fit for them or will work. Ayelet: Yeah, that’s right. And I like that distinguishing idea of you don’t need to bring it in because we said so. You might actually come in with your bag, your purse, for instance. And look at what are you bringing in? Maybe you you came in with a pair of gloves, and that child is really interested, or you use them to engage because they’re just there. So right again, yes, if you want to bring them in, great. And also, your family has shared with you that this routine in the kitchen is a particular difficult time, or transition outside is a particularly difficult time. Here’s your aha moment to integrate that idea, potentially, into your into your therapy or your intervention work. Miranda: I love that, Ayelet. That’s such a good reminder. Yeah, you just happen to have the… I mean, absolutely. It happened to have them on you to think about that –  again, right? You’re following that child’s lead! Oh, it fell out of your pocket. I’m gonna pick it up then. Okay. Yeah, that may be what we’re doing today. Ayelet: That’s right. Yeah. Love it. So okay, you gave some great ideas in terms of filling a glove with smaller objects. I love how that can integrate also into so many different concept development conversations, too. Does this fit? Is it too big? Is it too long? Those kinds of things. And then finger play puppet, everything is fun if it becomes a puppet. If you remember any kind of finger plays, ghat’s great. And if not, I loved your example, Miranda, of ooooh, here are your toes! Toes are the best! Yeah. You can also count the fingers obviously. There’s so many different kinds of little things in there. When we’re putting on… a couple of other ideas I had were, when we’re putting on a glove, find a missing finger! You put it on and intentionally craft an experience where you’re holding one finger down. Was there a missing finger, for instance? So you’re putting on a glove and there’s one empty. So there’s all kinds of things that you could do with with that, right? You could like jiggle the empty, yeah, jiggle, the empty one, talk about which one is gone. Which one is missing? Where’s my finger? Right? There’s so much language here. Such a possibility for just absolute ridiculous playfulness. I was also thinking about how especially a dishwashing glove or surgical glove, for instance, those are great bath toys. Great for use with water, or any kind of water sensory bin, if that’s something that you have access to or want to, which, again, folks, is really just like a container. So maybe it’s a mixing bowl, or one of those plastic bins that you put under your bed flat, and you just fill that with water, boom, that’s a sensory bin. Brilliant! Ah. Miranda: Super fancy! Ayelet: And then you put a dishwashing glove in, and it’s incredible! So yeah, great things can be done with water, it can be a bath toy. Obviously, the age old, put it on your head, right? You can, all the different fingers can become a little chicken comb. And you can imitate a rooster, a chicken, sing a song about chickens, right, whatever you want to do. Miranda: Yeah, draw on it before you head into the bath and wash the little chicken, you know, put it on your hand and use that washcloth. Ayelet: I love it. When my oldest was a toddler. We were living in London and my mom… My mom is really, I would like to just say out loud right now: my mom is the real founder of Learn With Less®. Because she instilled in me these ideas of playfulness. So she sent us a care package once and inside of it was a yellow dishwashing glove. And she had drawn on little faces on the tips of each little finger. On the hand of the yellow dishwashing gloves, she had written the words to a nursery, like a little finger play kind of a thing that she knew when she was a kid that her mom had done. So I’ll do it for you right now. If I can remember. So I’m like squeezing each finger as I go. So Little Pea, Patty Lou, Lu-Lu Whistle, Whistle Nozzle… and… Kadobble-Wobble-Wobble! And then on the Kadobble-Wobble, I would always go in for a tickle. And it was adorable anticipation game, we’re looking at visual-spatial recognition kinds of things, right? You’re bending each finger forward. Miranda: Separation of mobility… Ayelet: Yeah, exactly. Or my son would love to then imitate and put it on and then have me sing the finger play. Or maybe he’d imitate the words. And then a tickle ending is the ultimate for most toddlers, or even older sometimes, right? But that’s my ultimate favorite. So maybe we’ll have to, we’ll have to do a video on Instagram of that. Miranda: Yeah, I love that. I love that. Well, and I think I’ll just say to, for us with that surgical glove piece. So I’m a mom to a type one diabetic daughter. And so we spent days in the hospital and just trying to find what was around her to be entertaining. Then also take things that are being used and might seem kind of scary and use them in ways that take away that fear factor, so really leaning in on those things, leaning in on Play to be a tool of comfort, too. Ayelet: Yes, thank you for sharing that one. That’s a just a great point. And so important. Let’s think of just a couple of others. And then we can sort of wrap up. So being purposefully silly. I loved your idea of the glove to go outside or the mitten going outside, putting it on a silly place like, oh, let’s put them on your feet. Come on, let’s go. And they can just be like, oh Mom, you’re so silly, right? But especially, I think in those times when – and this takes a lot of practice and awareness and wherewithal. And please, parents and caregivers, please give yourself the grace that maybe I haven’t in the past given myself. Recognize that you’re stressed. It’s okay to be stressed. And when you do have the wherewithal to provide some levity in those stressful moments, play can be such an important and easy way to do that. For me, one of my big triggers is getting out the door and being on time, right? Because my mom was never on time and I hated that. And it was, it’s like a thing for me that I need. And I’m trying to let go of that urgency and let go of that desire and need for timeliness as well, because I then overextend that to my children. Then now I’m giving them distress like what’s the point? This is not working for anybody! But when I can create those moments of levity in my stress, and come on, let’s go, alright, we got to get your mittens on. Okay, let’s put them on your feet. Right. And then my kids are like, Wait, oh, she’s she’s being funny. Okay, trying. She’s trying to. Alright, we can forgive her for being such a wild woman, as well. Miranda: Yes! It lends to that cooperation. And, and I think such a good point, Ayelet too that here we are sitting on a podcast talking about this, but I hope that like you said, everyone knows that every single time I go out the door is not filled with levity, you know? When I’m in it, would I love to have tha? We have opportunities to do these things. But sometimes you just don’t have it in you in that moment. And I think that’s one thing to remember, too, as professionals and people who do this and appear to look like they can do this every single time without issue? No, it is, it’s a muscle that has to be stretched. And every time we go out the door, it’s not always beautifully playful. But we have these tools to rely on when we’re able to and and a practice to get better at it. You know, even for, yeah, for anyone to just kind of flex that muscle. Ayelet: That’s great. What a perfect place to land. So all of you great listeners, we would love to invite you to, number one, go take a look at the Instagram and Facebook posts that we’ve created around the time of this release of this episode. Also, Miranda, do you have a little something for our audience to grab? Miranda: Yeah, if they want to head on over I will have a daily routines handout about winter dressing. That will be a freebie for everybody. Ayelet: That’s awesome. And we will put the link in the show notes of this episode, as well. And then I also want to encourage you to download the Learn With Less® Infant and Toddler Development Blueprint, which really goes through the four pillars that we’re talking about. So today was play, the next one will be talk, then then we’ll cover sing. And then finally we’ll cover move. But that blueprint download just brings everything together, and puts it all into context. So go grab those things that can be found at learnwithless.com/blueprint. Miranda, people will be able to find your handout at earlyintervention mama.com/dailyroutinesfreebies, is that right? Miranda: Yes. Ayelet: Perfect. Okay. And then obviously, linking to all those in the show notes as well. So thanks so much for joining us and go ahead and catch us next time on our next episode. Miranda, thanks for joining me. This is super fun. Miranda: Yeah, thank you. I’m just envisioning that we’re in the same place and maybe I’m leaving, putting my gloves on to head outside. Giving a friendly wave. Ayelet: Good. I’m gonna go put something in the oven with my mitt. Miranda: There you go. Ayelet: All right. Thanks so much for joining us. See you next time. The post How to Incorporate PLAY into Everyday Routines, with Miranda Zoumbaris and Ayelet Marinovich appeared first on Learn With Less.

Building Equitable Outcomes for Families with Young Children Through Access to Information On this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, Ayelet sits down with Sydney Bassard. Sydney is an ASHA-certified speech-language pathologist, with a B.S. in Public Health. Her clinical focus areas are working with individuals who are deaf and hard of hearing and those with literacy challenges. Sydney engages in research with these populations as well as clinical practice. With a passion for access to high-quality service and care for all, she takes the time to invest in each client and their family. Her motto of listening, learning, and advocating stems from the three principles that guide her clinical practice. We discussed: Sydney’s new book, “A Day With Mom,” which she co-authored with her own mother The importance of health literacy The fine line between “doing enough” and not doing enough for one’s child How everyday routines can be developmentally beneficial The importance of play, and what high quality educational materials actually are Where to find high quality resources for families Helpful Resources to Acknowledge For This Episode: A Day With Mom, by Pearl and Sydney Bassard Understood.org – great resources on early intervention and early learning Free downloads for families and professionals from Sydney Early & Bright SLP (formerly Mommy & Me Milestones) Maximizing Natural Language Opportunities, Without Toys, featuring Joanne Cazeau How to Use Everyday Routines to Boost Infant & Toddler Development, featuring Stacey Landberg Parent Coaching and Routines for Early Language Development, featuring Cari Ebert Free Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint: what are the four major areas of early development… and how can you use the pillars of Learn With Less® to support that learning, using the time, energy, and materials you already have?! Download our free blueprint today. Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program, helping educators and therapists create lasting impact in their communities with a high quality, evidence-based, “plug & play” program Expand Your Impact Workshop Bundle: for early childhood educators and developmental therapists hoping to serve new families in their community and support themselves, using their existing skills Learn With Less® Bundle: our best infant and toddler development resources for families and educators alike, including our bestselling books Understanding Your Baby and Understanding Your Toddler, our acclaimed family music album, recorded Learn With Less® “caregiver & me” classes, and a caregiver handout featuring ideas for carryover in the home Learn With Less® Stories: Testimonials from educators who’ve provided the Learn With Less® infant/toddler family enrichment curriculum and families who’ve experienced our programming. Connect With Us: Sydney: Website / Facebook / Instagram Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of this Episode Sydney’s Book, A Day With Mom Ayelet: Okay, welcome Sydney Bassard, to the Learn With Less® podcast. I’m so happy you’re here today. And I’m really excited to have this conversation with you, we have met all over the place on the internet. But finally, in November 2022, we got to actually connect and spend lots of good time together at ASHA in New Orleans. And we also around that time, it became very clear that you had just embarked upon the journey of publishing a book, which is incredible. So I wanted to make sure that before we get to the rest of the episode, we have a chance to talk a little bit about what that book is, why you wrote it, its name, and how people can order it, because I’m just very excited that my copy is on its way! Please go ahead and share with the good people. Sydney: So first off, it was so great meeting you and getting to spend time together in person at ASHA. It was great to just finally get to connect with the people you’ve been talking with over the internet for the past couple of years. So the title of the children’s book that I co-authored with my mom is called A Day With Mom. The principle of the book is to really just tell the authentic story of middle class Black families: to show that Black people live everyday lives, oftentimes in children’s literature, Black children are put on pedestals of being extraordinary – they’re super smart, they’re scientists, they’re all of these amazing things, which can be true! But they’re also allowed to just be ordinary children. Everything doesn’t have to be rooted in being super amazing, and everything doesn’t need to be rooted in poverty and struggle. So that was our mission behind writing the book, and then everything in it is based on activities that my mom and I did as I was a child growing up, from making breakfast together, going to different book fairs, to just shopping at the mall and looking for a good sale. Ayelet: Yep, that’s great. And tell us the name and the best place that people can find it. Sydney: Yeah, so the name of the book, again, is a day with mom, and people can find it at artistmadridbooks.com. Please, please, please, we are so thankful for the people who have read the book, for the people who have shared the book with their audiences. But our real goal is just so people can feel seen and represented in this story. But also just to continue to make good connections with your kids. Everything doesn’t have to be an extraordinary experience, sometimes the simple things create those lasting memories. Ayelet: That’s right. Fantastic. All right. Thank you, Sydney for that. That is very exciting. And again, of course, we’ll link to that in the show notes. So let’s get on with the rest of the episode. You and I have been in community on Facebook for quite some time now. And it’s just great to hang out with you in well, not in the flesh, but synchronously here now. Sydney: Thank you so much for having me. I am so excited to chat with you today. The Trajectory of Sydney’s Career as a Speech-Language Pathologist Ayelet: Yay. Why don’t you, instead of reading a bio out loud, it would be great to hear from you a little bit about your story, you know, what led you to the work that you are doing today? And what is that work? Sydney: Oh, that is such a long story. But I’m going to do the condensed version today. So I’ve been an SLP for almost three years. And I tell people that I kind of ended up in this space by chance. I originally went to school to be a pharmacist. I was dead set on being a pharmacist. And then I took organic chemistry II, and found out that I was not cut out for the pharmacy life very quickly. And so I was kind of in the space of not really knowing what I wanted to do or having a strong foundation. And that’s around the time that my brother found out he was dyslexic and had ADHD. So I ended up working for the reading center that he went to. I loved it, but I knew that I wanted to still have some of the freedoms that I would have if I had gone into pharmacy. So I found SLP, fell in love with the field from the reading standpoint, first, and then learned a lot more about hearing loss and working with children with hearing loss that use cochlear implants or hearing aids, particularly. So that’s kind of what led me here. Then right out of grad school, I wanted to work on a cochlear implant team. That was my goal. And so I did that for two years within a children’s hospital and I absolutely loved my job there. But I really missed my family. So I decided to move closer to home last year, and now I’m here owning and running my own private practice, and doing a bunch of other jobs on the side, too. Ayelet: Amazing. That’s so great. Well, I It’s always fun to talk to people who like came to the speech-language pathology worlds from a slightly different path, because that was my path as well. And I learned about the field much later in life, or realize that that that was a thing that condensed all of… basically all of my interests. And it’s always nice to hear from people who found this field more intentionally. The Inception of The Listening SLP: Health Advocacy and Parent Education So let’s hear a little bit about what you are doing. You run an Instagram account and social media existence, and of course, a whole website that is called The Listening SLP. And I would love to hear about what you’re doing over there, what your mission there is, and the message that you would like to share with families, because as you and I both know, but we want our dear listeners to know, that it’s very much in line with what we talked all about here at Learn With Less®. Sydney: Yeah, so The Listening SLP happened kind of by chance. I had been following some other SLP accounts on my personal Instagram, and then ASHA in 2019, I was like, I can do this, I want to share! I really wanted to help and connect with students, was my initial goal. So that’s kind of what I did then, I was still in the midst of my clinical fellowship. And so I just stopped it. And then COVID happened. And I picked it back up, thanks to a really good coworker who’s now a friend of mine. But my mission at that point had changed. At the time, I was like, students need help and information and support. But what I really started to see more from practicing is that there was a lack of transparency with information. My bachelor’s degree is in public health. It’s not in communication sciences and disorders. So I knew a lot from the public health aspect of what does health literacy look like? What is the importance behind it, and how we’re always wanting to get people to this “take action” step. But sometimes we miss the steps along the way of, we have to plant the seeds before we can get them there. So that’s where I shifted the focus of The Listening SLP. And I wanted it to be a space where health equity was at the forefront. We are no longer keeping information to a few but we’re able to share information with the masses. And so that’s really what has happened. That’s where my business tagline that really means a lot to me, of “listen, learn advocate” comes from. Oftentimes, as practitioners, we are really instructed in grad school, that we are the professionals. And we know all the things – which is true from a foundational standpoint, from a pure knowledge standpoint of the information, we do know those things. What we don’t know is all the other things that’s going on in that individuals life. What we don’t know is how much they know coming into the situation. And so, being able to take a step back and give information freely is really what I want to do. I love the space that I’ve created now, because that’s what I get to do. I love interacting with the parents and people from all over the country, all over the world, that have taken like little snippets of things that I’ve put together and they enjoy it. And I should clarify, this is not coming from me. I think sometimes people are like “The Listening SLP” or “Sydney said it.” No, no, no, no, no, pretty much everything that I put out is taken from either research articles or other resources that are available. And I have just compiled it in this way that is a little bit easier to digest. Ayelet: Exactly, right. It’s all based in developmental research, or whatever it is, in terms of what researchers, what scientists what “experts” are saying and have learned, and you’re the venue, right? You’re the person who is putting those things together, and putting them in a more sort of easily digestible format so that families can have access to that information. I love what you said about that shift between what we, number one, what we as professionals are taught, and taught to believe about ourselves or understand about ourselves that we are quote unquote, the expert, and that we come in, and our job is to “teach” and “give” information when you and I know very well that it’s actually… to do our jobs in the best way possible, to serve our clients and to provide them with the tools that THEY need to be able to be the best advocates for their families. That role is not of teacher and expert. The role is of co-host, right? It’s a collaborator. Collaborating With Families: Using Everyday Routines to Build Language I would love to hear a little bit more about your philosophy, your belief system and what the kinds of things that like you help families understand. Of course, that’s a big part of what we do here at Learn With Less® in terms of routines-based intervention and looking at what a family is already doing, what’s already happening in the home, and how we can build language around that. So I know that you have some great tips and ideas for how to build language in the home or in the community for that matter. And I would love to hear a few of those if you don’t mind sharing with the audience. And what you said about how, Yes, we know that we have that knowledge base, we have the pretty deep understanding of what the research says the quote unquote “best ways” or lots of different tools and strategies to help build language in a young child’s life, for instance. But what we don’t know is the context, the context that we’re walking into within every given family. That piece is just is so essential. And I think the reality of what you said [earlier, before we started recording] about you know, yes, toys are great, toys are great, they’re great, but everyone has access to everyday things in our homes. Sydney: Yeah, so I think the first thing that we have to realize is that parents are stressed. And that is okay to say. Parents of small children, it can be a very stressful time, it’s a lot of love, a lot of joy, but it’s stressful. And it’s stressful when your child is hitting those milestones, as we would expect. The stress is even higher when your child is not necessarily doing those things. You know, you have pressures from family, you have pressures, even sometimes from your partner and your spouse within the same house. Maybe, you know, feeling some tension in that relationship, as well. Then there’s tension sometimes between the parent/caregiver and this child who they’re just wanting them to communicate. So I think the first thing is to recognize that parents are stressed. And oftentimes, we hear practitioners say, play-based and floor-based routines are the best. This is what people should be doing… without acknowledging that there’s so many other things going on outside of just, this parent wants to help, they still have responsibilities of cooking and cleaning and working a job. So that’s why I love routines. Daily routines, hands down, are my favorite, from the standpoint of it can help alleviate some of that guilt that parents feel from not being able to carve out this time to sit on their floor. Or if that’s not their thing, they don’t feel pressured into having to make it their thing. So that’s what we do a lot on my social media, that’s what I do a lot in therapy, is how can we find out what your daily routine is, and then incorporate language structures? The first thing as a therapist is I asked families, what generally is your routine? And then you have the people that say, I don’t know, we just kind of do things. Okay, well, figure out things that most people do every day, then. Most people are going to eat, most people are going to bathe, most people are getting in a car to go somewhere. So okay, there you go, you got three daily routines, I don’t really care when you do them. But there you go, you have them. Helping families to figure out how they can incorporate those language skills into their environment. And that takes some humility on the part of the professional, because what you’re going to have to do is not come in with all the ideas and just spit them at the parent. It’s really more so a collaborative effort, because what I call things, I grew up in the South, so I might call something very different than someone who grew up in the north, versus someone in the Midwest or a family that’s coming from California. So making sure that we’re asking those things as well, when modeling those behaviors. So I have a whole series on my page where we do building language within daily routines, and we model it with toys. But then I try to have a video, too. And now those are blog posts that live on my website. So if there’s a family that’s not you know, they don’t want to be on social media, that’s fine. It’s also in a blog format. And then I’ve been tagging the video at the bottom so that practitioners can show the demonstration as well. Ayelet: Nice. We’ll be sure to link to those things as well. That’s fantastic. What are some of those, what have you from the feedback that you’ve received from both practitioners and families? What are some of the ones that have been the most popular or you’ve had a lot of feedback about? Sydney: Oh, I think the one that came out about ice cream, hands down as been one that people were like in love with, because it was summer, you know, everybody was ready for a nice cold treat to enjoy. That one was a really popular one. I think the one that we did with going to school was another really popular one. And there was one on bathtime routines and bedtime routines, those were popular. And I want people to know that I don’t come up with all of these ideas of things to say aye my own generally before those posts, especially, that I’ve sent them to a couple other SLP colleagues, I’ve sent them to parents. I’ve even had some grad students look at them too. So they’re not just coming from me and my own brainchild, but a couple other people are giving their input as well. So there’s some diversity in the language and emphasis of each post. Ayelet: Oh, that’s great. That’s really cool. I mean, I think it’s so key that one again, it’s coming down to like “the expert” versus a collaborative piece of being in community with other people and how that, depending on where you’re from, what language or what words you are utilizing, and it’s so – I love how you say that about within the English language itself, there are so many ways Is that people express themselves. It’s totally true. For those of our listeners who have not yet seen some of the videos or looked at your blog, I’d love for you to just break down. Number one, how do you define a routine? What does that look like? Because I think a lot of people think, okay, a routine is like a bedtime routine. It’s like how we get from one place to another, right? But I think what you and I define routines as is like a little bit, even smaller, right, breaking it down even smaller into literally what happens step by step within this process. And why that’s so important is because those tiny little steps help us get from one place to another, within even a two minute period, throughout our day. And they happen again, and again and again. And those become patterns that our children can familiarize themselves with. And those patterns can help to build language, words, phrases, and expectations and all of the things. So yeah, I’d love to just hear a little bit more about that, from your perspective. Sydney: Yeah, I would totally agree with you. And to add on to that, anything can be a routine. I mean, oftentimes, people think of routines, as you said, as bedtime routine, or our bathtime routine. But anything can be a routine. If it’s your family routine, that everybody goes and takes a walk to the mailbox, then that’s the routine. You know, that’s, that’s an integral part of what you and your family does during the day. And so what we want to do is figure out all of those ways to capitalize on language within those moments. So before you’re heading out the door, what are you having to do? We’re going to make sure we’re dressed, you have to make sure we have our shoes on. Keys are important. If you’re going to lock your your house or if your mailbox is somewhere else, you need to have the keys to open that. So those are all those little, itty bitty moments, before we’re even out the door to get on that walk. Ayelet: Or the dog is barking. And that’s the signal that we have to do it in the first place, right? Sydney: Right! Ayelet: And “wah wah, wah wah…” [imitates Charlie Brown’s teacher’s voice.] I was curious to hear your thoughts around… because there are there many of us who are parents or caregivers are naturally more introverted. And so even just speaking to your child, and I think oftentimes, the big advice is like just talk, just talk more to your child, just talk freely and doesn’t matter what you say. And like, yes, of course, that is a great thing to do. And again, it’s not always – we don’t want to bombard our children, and we don’t want to overwhelm ourselves in the process. So do you have any hot tips about what you say to families who maybe are more introverted, or for whom that part doesn’t come so naturally, about that fine line between doing enough, you know, quote, unquote, versus not feeling like you’re not doing too little. Sydney: Exactly. So figuring out all those little ways to capitalize. And the nice thing about a daily routine, or even if you do a routine multiple times within a day, you’re having all of these language exposures. But I never want families to feel as though they have to constantly just be talking. Because when you do that, we do end up sounding like Charlie Brown’s teacher, it starts to sound washed out, no one is listening. So you know, give yourself some room to grow. But give yourself some room to just connect with your child! Every time you go to the mailbox, every time you go to do… you know, really any routine you do. It doesn’t have to be, oh, I’m narrating I’m giving information. I’m providing it, because that’s overwhelming for you. And sometimes you just don’t want to do it. So remember to keep things light to just giving your kid a hug. It’s building a connection with them. And I think when families realize that they can take a little bit of the pressure off of themselves, then it can come a little bit more naturally. Instead of feeling as though we’re constantly having to keep watering into this plant. Because at some point you’re going to overwater. Families Are Stressed: Give Yourself Grace Yeah, I always tell my families, especially my moms out there to give yourself a lot of grace and kindness. Because moms, especially, can be really hard on themselves when dealing with their kid, and trying to work on these skills. But then also recognize that that’s okay. You do not have to be extremely extroverted and jumping up and down and doing cartwheels and backflips. It is totally fine for you to still be 100% yourself. I think sometimes when we’re giving advice, and we tell people to do these things, if it’s not natural to them, they’re like, you know, they’re shutting it down, or they’re not wanting to do it. Or they’re trying to force themselves to fit into this box that they don’t really feel comfortable in – and we don’t want that to happen. The interaction is still supposed to be natural. So sticking with that, you don’t have to force yourself to be something that you’re not. As long as you are engaging with your child in a way that is intrinsic and natural to you and your family, that is 100 percent okay, and realizing we’re all different, like there are some times that I can be the most obnoxious, I’ll claim it, I can be the most obnoxious person when working with a kid and they’re looking at me like you are crazy. And then there’s sometimes that I’m just like, Alright, cool, whatever, we’re, we’re sitting back, and we’re, you know, enjoying because that’s part of being human. Nobody is super happy, super overjoyed 24/7. That’s just not life. Ayelet: Mm hmm. Yeah, well, I think that even just that message is so important and can be so liberating for parents and caregivers, because there’s just so much, so much pressure out there. And that big transition into new parenthood can be very overwhelming, and is huge, because it is a transition not only in that now you have this human around. And also you have to figure out who you are in relation to that human, and also who you are in relation to yourself. And all of those things can be very overwhelming and very intense. And it’s a lot to handle at once. And I just think the message of simplicity is so important. And and I’m so happy that we can share that message here today as well with these different things. Another thing I want to just touch upon the idea of toys in general. Something that I like to say a lot lately is that the emperor has no toys, right? Just like anything can be routine. Most things can also be a play object, AKA a toy, as well. And what we attribute to being a developmentally enriching object, because we have purchased it from a specific aisle in a store, is not necessarily any better. And then often is not any better than a coaster, for an empty box, or most things in the kitchen or anything like that. So I wanted to just make sure that we touched upon this in terms of both the developmental benefits of play objects, whether or not something is a toy, and also just the access issues, and what that means in terms of whether you have a lot of toys, or just a couple, or zero. Sydney: Can I just say, I was duped into buying all the toys? Ayelet: As a therapist, right! You Don’t Need All The Toys: What Is An Educational Toy? Sydney: When I was in grad school, I had a supervisor who she’d be planning a theme. And I did it. And then she goes, Okay, I have a toy for that, and would pull out not just like a toy, but so many toys to all go with this one theme to the point that I was like, Wow, if I want to be a good therapist, and I want to do all my themed stuff, I need to have the treasure trove, the Toys R US of toys too, to the point now that I’m in private practice, my garage is looking like Toys R Us, because I constantly was buying all of the things! And the reality is yes, toys can be great. And they have a lot of benefit to them. But oftentimes, what people don’t realize, especially parents, is you want to do everything just right for your kid. No parent wants to make a mistake or buy something for their child that they don’t think is great. So marketers know that too. Ayelet: The industry is capitalizing on that, yup. Sydney: So in their marketing, thank you. So in their marketer brain, what are they going to put on there? “Developmentally appropriate, best toy for ages blah, blah, blah to blah, blah, blah, educational, must-have” you know. And then they hire all of their social media people that they want, so that they can constantly shove this toy down your throat. So that by the end of it all, the marketing that you’ve taken in for this one object, you are dashing down that toy aisle in Target to go get it. And the reality is, you can have that toy, but you can also do the same thing with a common object in your house. And oftentimes think about, you know, like they have the ball drop toys. So, you can do something very similar like that. If you take an empty toilet paper roll or empty paper towel roll, and you can like make a ball out of paper and you can put it in there. And when they go down, it’s that same kind of out of shape… Ayelet: Out of paper, a cotton ball, out of tape, whatever. Yup. Sydney: It’s the same concept. So I always encourage people, like it’s great to have some toys, right? Kids are gonna learn with toys, but it’s also okay to use things in your house, because what that’s really encouraging is that imaginative play. And what we oftentimes see happening with children, especially the toys of today are very battery operated, or they’re very fixated on, you know, if you push this button, I’m going to dance, sing, and do a whole jig for you. It’s going to be great. And so it’s not really encouraging kids to go beyond just like well I pressed the button and this thing lit up for me – that imagination is not developing and that imaginative play is important for language development as well. Ayelet: Yep, right, and concept development, all of the cognition, I mean, all of the things, how something fits together, how heavy it is, whether it fits inside. All of those are concept development. And then when you see your child playing with something or wondering about something, or you do it and model it with them, then you can provide all of the vocabulary around that! And not all of it, just like one word at a time. In! On! Whoa! Big! That’s it! Very, very simple. Yeah. For years, the only things I ever bring into therapy now are actual items of my own that I’ve seen them have in their home. So that it because to inspire them to use it in a new way. And then the next time I won’t bring it, and then the child will bring out theirs, for instance, it’s great, simple way to shift things. I love that. And not surprisingly, totally in agreement, there. Sydney: Yeah, it is really simple. And I think we were… I mean, you and I have talked about this on several occasions about the equity issues that we see around toys and materials within not just the field of Speech Pathology, but really all over. Sometimes when we are using all these toys in therapy, we don’t know what people’s life is like at home. Even if we are a home health provider, even if we are in early intervention. And we think well, no, like I’ve seen, we have no, you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors when you are not there. So they might seem like they have all this stuff, because maybe they’re pulling it out because they know you’re coming. Or you might have the family who is breaking their bank, because they see you with all the toys, so they feel like they have to have them too. And then there’s some people who, they quit services because they they feel pressure into doing all these things that they know realistically, is not feasible for their family. So when we help people figure out how to use what’s in their home, we’re meeting them truly wherever they are, we are taking those external influences out, and we’re working with what they have. And then what you’re also doing is you’re coaching the parent. You’re providing the model in real time, because not only is this in their house, but you’re using their materials. You’re not using something else to demonstrate the task and then trying to get them to scaffold it to this different object you’re providing. You’re basically given the YouTube tutorial right there for them. Finding High Quality Resources New Families Can Use Ayelet: I would love to hear, Sydney, because you’ve spoken a little bit, a few times about you are not the only one, you’re not like the sole place where this information is coming from, you know, you pull from resources, and you then help to break it down, of course, as you and I both do. But I would love to hear because I think a very valuable part of what we provide here on this podcast is not only the conversation, but also a little bit more, you know, suggested resources into delving further into what other things might be helpful. So please tell us a little bit about where people can find the resources that you have created. And also other things, whether it’s like podcasts, books, research, websites that you feel like might be helpful for families to know about, or other professionals, as well. Sydney: Yeah, so all of my resources, you can find that thelisteningslp.com Pretty much all of the resources that are geared towards families are, I have them as free downloads, so that way, you’re able to easily access them, some of the ones that I really find helpful, and I’ve actually gotten feedback from parents that have loved them. I did one about like, how do you know that your child’s provider is the right one? That is a relationship that you’re going to want to foster and build. And it’s an investment, right? Like, it’s not just an investment of your time, it’s an investment of your money, it’s an investment of your feelings. And so making sure that you are really kind of screening this person, especially if they’re a private provider, schools are a little bit different. But private providers, you can do that and just kind of making sure that this is going to be a good fit for you and your family. So it’s a five question guide that you can just ask a provider and most people should feel pretty comfortable answering those. And based on those questions you can figure out like if this is a relationship that will be great, or if there’s one that you might want to adjust. The other handout we have available is tips for building language at home. And so it just goes over some general language strategies that families can use along with an example and an explanation for why. And then, you know, we talked a little bit about toys. The list was originally created for children who are deaf and hard of hearing but it’s really a question guide for any child that a parent or even a extended family member can go through, and it’s five questions about when you are going down that toy aisle, these are the things that you should be asking yourself and it kind of gives some rationale behind why we should be thinking about these things before just picking something up and dropping it in our basket for purchase. So those are some of the ones that I have. Some of my favorite, favorite child based resources is there’s Mommy and Me Milestones, which I find that she is wonderful. She breaks things down really well as well for families, and she has a lot of handouts and free resources available for professionals and for families. Her stuff is really, really amazing. And I really love anything pretty much that she puts out. It is really helpful. And then a lot of my other resources and things that I pull, I try to go directly to the research or the kind of the source behind it. Sometimes that can be a little tricky as a parent to figure out where to find that. But if you ask the professional that you’re working with, they should be able to direct you to those things and then understood.org, I think is underrated. But there’s stuff is really helpful. And I love the way it breaks things down into smaller, digestible sections. So those are kind of some of my top ones that I like. Ayelet: That’s great. Yeah. Thank you for that. I think that’s awesome. Sydney, thank you for this conversation. Is there anything else that you want to leave people with? Sydney: Yeah, I think the biggest thing is just continue to listen to all parties, continue to learn from each other, and then form these partnerships to advocate. Ayelet: Love it. Yep. Great takeaway. Thank you so much, Sydney for your time and energy today. And thanks to everyone who’s listening. We’ll see you next time. The post Listen, Learn, and Advocate: Support New Families, with Sydney Bassard appeared first on Learn With Less.

How do we provide new families with the skills they need to support their baby or toddler’s development? This episode of the Learn With Less® podcast features an interview conducted by Joanne Cazeau, a recent guest another episode of the podcast, pediatric speech-language pathologist, owner of Koze Speech Therapy, and the brains behind the Instagram handle @thespeechpathologist. The interview originally aired on her Instagram page, and we wanted to share it more broadly, here. I want to acknowledge that the sound quality isn’t perfect, but as always, the full transcript can be found here on the Learn With Less® website, and we know you’ll get a lot of good information, even imperfectly. Toward the end of the episode, we also mention the Expand Your Impact Retreat, which is an event that already took place; however, you can access the recordings by going to learnwithless.com/expand and grabbing the workshop bundle! We discussed: Ayelet’s professional journey and how the Learn With Less® infant and toddler development curriculum was born What Learn With Less® is, what makes it so unique, and the inspiration behind the program The biggest misconceptions and challenges about toy-less learning The biggest benefits of the Learn With Less® approach from both the parent/caregiver perspective, as well as the Learn With Less® facilitator perspective The problems or challenges the Learn With Less® program seeks to alleviate and address What professionals can expect from the Expand Your Impact Workshop Bundle (originally the Expand Your Impact 2021 Retreat), who it’s for, and who can benefit Helpful Resources to Acknowledge For This Episode: Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program, helping educators and therapists create lasting impact in their communities with a high quality, evidence-based, “plug & play” program Expand Your Impact Workshop Bundle: for early childhood educators and developmental therapists hoping to serve new families in their community and support themselves, using their existing skills Learn With Less® Bundle: our best infant and toddler development resources for families and educators alike, including our bestselling books Understanding Your Baby and Understanding Your Toddler, our acclaimed family music album, recorded Learn With Less® “caregiver & me” classes, and a caregiver handout featuring ideas for carryover in the home Free Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint: what are the four major areas of early development… and how can you use the pillars of Learn With Less® to support that learning, using the time, energy, and materials you already have?! Download our free blueprint today. Learn With Less® Stories: Testimonials from educators who’ve provided the Learn With Less® infant/toddler family enrichment curriculum and families who’ve experienced our programming. Why Is Parent Coaching Important in Early Intervention? A Learn With Less® podcast episode also featuring Joanne Cazeau of Koze Speech Therapy Connect With Us: Joanne: Website / Facebook / Instagram Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of this Episode Ayelet: Hello! Joanne: Hi, how’s it going? Ayelet: Good. How are you? Joanne: Good! Ayelet: I’m excited to chat with you today. Can you hear me okay? Joanne: Yeah, I can hear you perfectly fine. I’m so glad to have you today. So is it okay if you just hop right in? Ayelet: Let’s do it. Joanne: Yeah, perfect. Hi, everybody. My name is Joanne Cazeau, I’m a speech language pathologist and I run the account at @thespeechpathologist, and I am here with Ayelet – Ayelet, can you let me know how you see your last name? Ayelet: Yes. Yeah. So i-YELL-it Marinovich. Joanne: Ayelet Marinovich? Woo! Ayelet, nice to meet you. Oh, my goodness, everybody’s here! Or not, not nice to meet you, Ayelet, we’ve talked a couple times? Nice to see you. So we’re hopping on today with Ayelet who is founder of Learn With Less®. And we’re going to learn a little bit about her program and also a little bit about a live seminar or live retreat that’s coming up on Saturday, and she’s gonna explain it. And I can’t wait for you to learn about what you can expect. So Ayelet, not everyone who’s joining us knows you. So I just was wondering if you could tell us a little bit about yourself for the people who are a little bit newer to you and your program, and a little bit about your professional journey. Yeah! Ayelet: Yeah, totally. So I’m Ayelet, she/her/hers, I came to the SLP world (I’m a speech language pathologist) because really, because I wanted to like find a profession that melded my interests in like child development and psychology and working with people. And I love that that’s the field offered flexibility to work with humans, like across the lifespan and like that it offered flexibility. At the time I was in my early mid 20s. When I came to this field, I knew that I wanted to hopefully have a family at one point, at some point. And I loved that there was like potential for flexibility for balance, balancing career and family. And, and just like my grandfather had this phrase that he used as to “repot yourself” like every, you know, few, 10 years or whatever, to be able to shift gears in your career to reduce stagnation and that, our field, absolutely has that ability. And that was always something that really drew me in and I loved that idea. So as far as I mean, I don’t know how much you want to know about like my own professional journey, but… yeah? Okay, so in grad school, I fell in love with AAC, and I did my CFY under Dr. Marilyn Buzolich who has an AAC consultancy. And I worked with preschool aged kiddos school aged kids and young adults using AAC. And that was amazing because, you know, you get to really, as the AAC specialist, and I was, right out of grad school, which was wild, and amazing, but you get to work so much with the whole team and really specialized in and bringing everybody together for the purpose of this child or person’s communication. And I mean, that was just totally amazing. Also doing it all the time, full time, I did get burned out. And so a few years later, I realized, you know, over time, how much I love supporting early communication, and really the whole family. And so I started to shift gears slowly to work, you know, part time with my AAC clients, and then part time in early intervention, and then that went towards full time. Then, in 2012, I got married, and then my partner was offered a job in London. And so when I was about 10 weeks pregnant, we moved to the UK. And then I spent really the bulk of my pregnancy waiting for my license to be approved through the Royal College of Speech Therapists for about, yeah, about nine months. And then finally, it was approved when I was 38 weeks pregnant. It Yeah, it can be… so, happy to chat with anybody who’s looking to go down that road because it’s quite an interesting set of paperwork that you get to fill out. But yeah, so you know, as that happened, and I gave birth and I had signed on to work very minimally with clients through a local practice. And I did that for a while. Really, what I wanted to focus my energy on was building a community of support for myself because we were in a very new place with new systems and then suddenly navigating new parenthood. And I am a person who very much values community and friendships and so I had this idea, you know, like, why not invite the other like new parents or pregnant people that I’ve met in a prenatal yoga class and then like local childbirth classes and such to join me each week with their babies to sort of hang out, and have some activity geared towards stimulating and playing with our babies, have been a discussion about child development, and then tea and a chat as one does! So I was, you know, very much in that stage of deeply vulnerable, extremely sleep deprived, lost and confused about a lot of things related to early parenthood, as is everybody who experiences that. And I could definitely see that we were all asking the same questions and experiencing very similar challenges. In London, in a very diverse area, you know, I had friends from like, all over the world, from Singapore and Italy, and Australia, and India and Wales, and Seattle, and Malaysia, and blah, blah, blah. But in this time of, you know, new parenthood, we were very much all there in this like, am I enough? Am I doing enough? Who am I? Sort of transition from, like, individual personhood to parenthood. So like I said, I was very much struggling with many of those, like new parent things. But the one area that I did feel confident in was, how to play with my baby, right? How to connect with my child. Since my storage locker of therapy, materials and toys, and such were halfway across the world, I improvised. And I knew that I could improvise, right, I knew that like play and talking to your baby and singing with your baby, and encouraging movement and all those things, are super important aspects of supporting development, supporting connection to your child. And so I started sharing about what that might look like, also using very simple materials. And that’s how Learn With Less® was born. Joanne: And tell us a little bit more about I love to hear the journey about how you got to Learn With Less®, tell us a little bit more about learning with less, and you know, what you do through that program? And what makes it especially unique? Ayelet: Yeah, so what is now the brand Learn With Less®, obviously, very much came out of that time, right, that need for like, new families to feel confident and capable and competent. Like that was obviously a huge part of it. And then for me, sharing information, creating community around me, being in community with others… that was so needed. So you know, I think basically, over time, I started writing down the questions that people had, and the challenges that we all faced, and I gained confidence myself, in understanding what my fellow new parents and caregivers needed, because it takes some time to like navigate how to put that kind of stuff into words to, especially when you’re sleep deprived. And then over a period of a few years, I had created a curriculum of sorts. That really was born and grew up alongside my first child, and those children and families around me. And each element became very purposeful. So I knew that I wanted to take it with me, because we were leaving London and moved, we moved to Berlin for a year. And then we moved back to California. And so I was just experimenting with form, I started a podcast in February of 2016. Been a long time podcasting! And then, over time, published the books that are now the sort of DIY version of sorts of the Learn With Less® curriculum, and continued to deliver these classes, both in my various communities all over the world, and also virtually since 2017. So then, in February 2020, just in time for the pandemic, I launched the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training and Certification Program, which I’m happy to talk more about. But really the brand the philosophy and the whole idea is that it’s not about using any specific material. It’s not about following any particular parenting philosophy, right? Instead, it’s about identifying the value in the materials around you, those everyday and ordinary objects, and tweaking the routines and interactions that you have with your tiny human, whether that’s a diaper change, waking up, eating, putting a jacket to go outside, right, whatever you’re present for as the caregiver, regardless if you are a full time working parent or a full time stay at home caregiver, or somewhere in between, tweaking those things that you are present for, so that you’re just adding a little bit more joy, a little bit of play, maybe a little bit of rhythm or movement, and then using those moments to guide your family time and build that connection while supporting development. And that’s the key, right? I think a lot of parents and caregivers feel like well, I might be doing this but that’s not child development, right? So it’s about like demystifying what it means to support a child. Because as we both know, Joanne, and everyone pretty much here listening, nobody needs to go out and buy a wooden box with a hole in it to support object permanence, right? We get tissue boxes right here, or shoe boxes or whatever it is lying around in plain sight. So… Joanne: Yeah. Ayelet: I think one thing that makes Learn With Less® unique is that it as opposed to like many programs for families out there that are like deeply locked into like a specific culture or some kind of specific material or set of materials that you have to go out and buy or some parenting philosophy, whether whether you’re buying something like musical instruments, or wooden climbing objects, or, you know, curated toys, subscription learning with lesson is literally just handing the parents the tools, the knowledge about the underlying developmental concepts that may be emerging, whether those are communicative milestones, or cognitive, or motor and sensory, or social and emotional, and then demystifying what that looks like, right? You don’t need an organically stained wooden drum when you have a laundry basket or empty cardboard box like, the developmental value is exactly the same. And it’s about the interaction and not the object. And there’s a second… sorry, I feel like… Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Clearly a speech pathologist, love to talk. The second piece is that it’s about bringing people together. Learning and sharing and playing together, often letting your guard down as an adult, whether that’s by participating in singing and making up the words to a song or sharing some personal like high or low that’s going on in your life. And it’s about including anyone in the community who wants to be involved. Yes, Mecca, yes. Joanne: Nope! Go!  Mecca’s agreeing. Ayelet: It’s about the interaction, not the object. Yeah. So and then obviously doing our best to center those at the margins. So like, for instance, you see that in our language, right? We don’t refer to our classes as “mommy and me,” instead, we call them “caregiver & me” or “caregiver and child” or “Baby and Me” or “toddler & me” or whatever classes. Because we would like to prepare the space and make it clear that like, this is for you, not just for this kind of mom. Joanne: Right. Yeah. Because like parent and family models also look really different. So I liked that you’re being attentive to that, I’m sure families are very appreciative of that as well. And I like, and I liked how you talked about making it about the interaction and not the object. And I think that we had, I understand, like your mindset, I think that also we talked about the mindset shift that I had coming from a private practice in the homes where there was a clinical model of therapy that I was observing and following versus a more consultative model, where I’m getting the parents the tools to do what we’re doing in therapy, not necessarily focus on the activity, the billions of billions of toys that we bring and families might not have access to – by giving them the strategies to be able, to be able to target those developmental milestones that we’re targeting. But it’s within… it’s centered within a routine. It’s centered within the natural environment. And it’s not necessarily looking for you to have specific materials, but the materials can be what you already have home. Ayelet: Yeah, whatever it is, right? Whether it is a toy, or something else. Joanne: Yeah. And I like everything is a toy. Anything is a toy, really. So I like that idea that you’re kind of guiding professionals to be able to kind of broaden their, their horizon and their outlook on what therapy looks like, and also what parent education looks like. Oh, I wanted to say one more thing. Oh, the thing that I wanted to highlight, which I love about the Learn With Less® program is I have come to this realization that whether we’re in the clinic, or whether we’re going in the homes, we are spending one or maybe 30 minutes, like one hour, maybe 30 minutes, or maybe sometimes two hours, right? If the kid needs more support, we’re spending like one to two hours that might be very generous, but one to two hours a week with the child, whereas the child is spending 80 or more hours in the week with their family. And we already know that parents are you know, their child’s first teachers so why wouldn’t we equip that person to be able to carry over and to be able to so many opportunities to do what we’re, what we’re doing the natural opportunities versus… you went to clinic for 30 minutes and then you’re out the door and then the parents kind of feel like they’re leaving with nothing, or they feel like they have to get Potatohead just because you have it, or they have to get this toy just because you have it, but it’s not necessarily about those objects. It’s about ways to implement some of those strategies to use during routines. So I love that link. Yeah, Yeah, I was gonna ask you what is one of the biggest misconceptions about toyless learning? Kind of what, what freaks people out? What do families, and even providers not understand about toyless learning? Ayelet: Well, first of all, I think it’s funny because I get a lot of like, oh, do I… Like do I, from professionals, people are like, Oh, can I join this program, can I be a Learn With Less® facilitator if I use toys or if I like, like preparing the environment? It’s like, yes of course! I’m not anti toy, right? Yeah, this program is not being about anti toy, the whole thing, right? We just deeply resent the baby industry’s notion that there is such a thing as an educational toy, right? Like, did you know that anybody can put those words on a box! I could, and probably should, packge a spatula, and write, “educational toy for toddlers” on it. I mean, it’s ridiculous. So, and also, I have plenty of toys for my kids. But I also have a deep pride in the fact that my five year old still won’t let me throw away an empty box without playing with it, and the salad spinner is his, and when he was three, and we went to a garage sale, I started scrounging through the kitchen items, and his eyes lit up and he screamed, “TOYS!” Yes, marketing at its finest. And yeah, we’ve had to make that disclaimer so often, it’s not about being anti toy. And it’s totally about, you know, I think the point is, the big misconception about toys is that they’re for kids. Really, toys are for the adults. Kids are going to make anything into a toy. And they’re going to use objects imitatively, often, or we can encourage that more, right, by letting them play with objects, right. And these are fun things, right. So it’s really, it’s more about helping the adults in the room see that there’s so much creativity there, if we allow it. And if we can create space for it. One thing that is very interesting is that I always tried to also, of course, integrate any toys or objects that a family has, or that parents come to learn with us class with. Like, we often will say, like, especially if it’s a virtual class, like you know, have next to, you know, something with print on it, something that’s soft and maybe like a pillow that’s fluffy or whatever, like those kinds of things, but they’re always things that they have with them and they can access. And so it’s all about creating that shift and showing families that anything can be a play object and also in the way that we use it, it can support development, whether it’s an envelope with pictures in it, whether it’s a greeting card, whether it, you know, a shiny empty box, this is a new favorite of mine – look at that, look at all the fine motor skills, the drumming, you can use it as reverberation, mouthing and you know, “shiny!” so much vocabulary in this ridiculous, once nut container! Joanne: Plenty of things just lying around the house and we aren’t thinking of it as toys. And I also just think from like a financial standpoint, also, how some families don’t have access to… toys are marketed… Toy makers and marketers of toys, they are brilliant people! They almost like generate a guilt families to provide these items for their children, where it might not be accessible, accessible to the family. So when you can grab the nut container, right, which does the same thing as this other actual toy, the family feels they can provide that interaction for their child, without it also generating guilt. Ayelet: It’s all about the guilt. Yeah, I brought a few fun things to share with y’all. But yeah, it’s all about the guilt. So when we can show a family that actually, the developmental value of this object is exactly the same. Or we can look at that toy subscription box that shares this, like I said earlier, like the beautiful wooden box with the gorgeous pieces of fabric it’s like it’s called a tissue box, tissue paper, a mask, a handkerchief, toilet paper, come on people! I like to… I have this phrase, which I like to say which is the emperor has no choice, right? Like, hello! Joanne: Yeah, yeah, no, but it’s true. Yeah, I wanted to ask you what the biggest challenge have been either for yourself or some of your facilitators or for families, about toyless learning. Ayelet: Yeah, well, I will. And maybe like – Wordy Child is here, Ronesha, and she’s a Learn With Less® facilitator. I know we have a couple of people actually in there who are there. So feel free to chime in also because we want to hear from you because you can speak better to your own experience. But for me, I will say for me as things, as time has gone on, I will say that I am challenged not to see everyday objects as toys. And I tend to drive my partner a little wild because he’s constantly throwing away my treasures. I’ve created these little monsters who get very upset about him throwing out their things, right. I guess part of it is like knowing when to call it quits with a cardboard box. Though like the same thing is true for actual toys, when all they want is that thing that they find in the box that’s going to Goodwill that they haven’t seen or played with for a year. But I think really, it’s just that shift. I mean, I think it’s a huge shift for people to see it in action of like, what can we do with hair rollers, right? Oh, my goodness, what an amazing, like, at first, you know, you see these things and you’re like, uh, okay, well, everybody starts with ok, well, they’re blue. Right? Okay, well, let’s What else can we talk about? They fit on our fingers, their finger puppets? Oh my god. Joanne: Brilliant. Ayelet: Look at that, right? We count them if we really want to, but we can do all kinds of things. So really starting to, they have kind of this nice sound. Joanne: Yeah, right. Ayelet: I mean, there’s so much we can talk about like, this is an SLP’s dream, right? But really, starting to shift. And oh, so I’ll say that it’s really giving people a framework for how to think about what it means to support a child’s development is really the key. So the challenge, I think, is not having a place to start from as far as the thinking goes. So what we’ve done at Learn With Less® is we have our four pillars that we integrate into every class, and that we talked about in all of our work, which is, they’re play, talk, sing, and move. So what could you do with this object? Or how can we organize activities around this kind of thing, or this kind of developmental concept to share, so that we can we can think about it right? So like, I mean, we can practice this right now, if we want. I’ll ask everybody who’s here. How can we play? How can we use these little they’re like silicone baking cupcake things? How can we use these in play? How could we add more language to it? Or vocabulary? How could we add more music for sing, or rhythm or whatever? Like, POP! How could we add more movement? Right, sorry, what was that? I was gonna say, I didn’t even think about popping them. Yeah! That’s what my fingers want to do. But there’s so much there. And when we add those, when we think about it through a lens, right, then we are given the tools to be like, oh, right, right, if I add that, and I’ll share that, like one of my, one of our facilitators recently had a, she shared a sort of realization and in our group, about like, “pre-Learn With Less® certification,” she’s like, Oh, well, this child like she’s very quickly wants to change activities has a short attention span. Maybe she’s bored. So we’ll change the materials… Post-Learn With Less® certification, she’s like, well, maybe she needs to move, how can we add more movement? Blah, blah, blah, right? Just giving people a framework can be a big mindset shift to address that, that challenge. And then of course, for families, seeing it in action, seeing how, let’s sing about these objects, let’s make up the words to it. Let’s do that thing, even if I don’t feel confident singing, in general, and would never do that, how can we add some rhythm to it? How can we, like those kinds of things, that’s what like, makes a huge difference for families. And they see that it doesn’t have to be so complicated. It’s all about keeping it simple, right? And literally, if they say something, you can just add that exact word or set of words into a song, right? And that’s it. So a lot of times we find that our Learn With Less® facilitators tend to move in the direction of more bagless therapy and parent coaching models in their therapy practice, in addition to leading more community based groups or classes, as well. Joanne: Yeah, yeah. And I find that the consultative model of therapy is just so foreign, compared to a direct clinical, because we’ve got to give the parents the strategy so that they can use it in the home. And I love the fact that the Learn With Less® program teaches us a way like so important. Especially coming from like a clinical model. Like we think about, alright, we have these toys we know what to do. Whereas when we don’t have a blueprint of what to do with something, we get creative really quickly. Ayelet: Yeah. We get stuck very easily. Yeah. Joanne: Exactly. I wanted to ask you what, I know, when people create something, it’s usually because there was a problem, right, and then seek to, to find the solution to that problem. So what problem is Learn With Less® a solution for? Ayelet: Yeah, great question. I love this. Yeah. So really, for families, we help, really what we do in the end of the day, is we help families, new families feel confident that they can support and connect with their babies and toddlers, without having to buy a single toy. Because we know that parenthood is amazing, miraculous time, yada, yada, yada, right? It’s what we see here on social media all the time. And it’s also incredibly hard, and it’s ok for it to be both! It’s all about the but/and, right? I mean it’s creating that space. So really, helping families see that they already have the resources to give their little ones the “right” stimulation, play, and interaction to thrive, and that you can do it with the materials you already have, no extra time or energy required. That’s a big key of it, right? And that there are ways to get gentle support so that you don’t want to pull your hair out, and to get that reassurance that you’re doing a really good job, and insight into how others are playing with their little ones. Like that’s huge! That’s, that’s a big part of it. So I can share a quote from a mom who participated in a Learn With Less® class who said, and I think this is the key, right? Like, she’s like, I just don’t have the internal resources in me. She said I, of course, I have a desire to connect. But I don’t have it in me to do anything extra. This is a working mom, right? So this helps, it’s helpful, because it’s literally showing you what you’re already doing, or how to maximize that opportunity, or how to think about what you’re doing in a different way, and maybe alter it a bit so that it’s more enriching, instead of having to do a completely new separate thing to create a whole activity for your child, for instance. Joanne: Yeah. And also, I know that we kind of like briefly touched on it yesterday, but Mecca, at @meccatheslp [on instagram], she had made a really good point, too, that a lot of the times parents feel like they have to carry out this activity, and it has to be an activity, and it has to be targeting something developmental. But really, it can just be that you’re connecting with your child. And connecting with your child, like, that is the biggest goal, is connecting with your child. And in connecting with your child, you also are doing strategies that are targeting development. So it doesn’t, you don’t have to sit here and do XY and Z to target this. But it can just be that I want to connect with my child. And I get the added benefit of, you know, like targeting some different milestones as well. Ayelet: Yes, exactly. So really, like the problem that we solve at Learn With Less®, for families, is we help to build family capacity. And community. Joanne: Yeah. And community. Ayelet: And thinking, on the other side, because for facilitators, for these educators and therapist-types that we serve with our program, and so that they can then turn around and share the program with others. It’s really a big piece of it is creating lasting impact on your own life, right, that reflexive impact, as far as how it can help you support yourself, diversify your own income streams, improve or alter your own therapy practice potentially or like, again, we also have a lot of early childhood educators in the program, and other kinds of developmental therapists, and social workers, and those kinds of people – all kinds of people! It can really helped to shift gears and also create a huge impact, social impact on families in their communities, human impact in the general community of like, what does that do, to create more connected families in your community? What problem does that solve? Man, that’s, that’s pretty amazing when we can create a more connected set of families and more confident caregivers and more connections between caregivers in your community. I don’t know about where you are in Jersey, Joanne, but like it is… So for me, the US is so fractionalized, or it’s very hard for new parents to, to find other people who they want to be in community with, and who are at a place that’s like creating a space that is built for anybody to join. It’s very hard and early parenthood can be a very divisive time for families as well. Right? Like, Well, I’m a breastfeeding mom and I’m a co-sleeper and I’m a cry-it-out mom or you know, whatever, like parent, caregiver. And it’s very, it can be very difficult to navigate and it can be very ugly. So creating a space that is specifically especially during the pandemic and doing that virtually is freaking amazing. And there’s I will say, there has always been a need, like I said, I’ve been leading virtual classes since 2017. And that’s… there’s always been a need, there always will be a need. But my goodness, did the pandemic clarify that need to be even bigger and rip it wide open, like it has done with so many pieces of our society. People need connection. And it is quite amazing that you can create that in a virtual space. And it’s about setting the stage, it’s about creating a space, you know, creating that in your marketing, in your – in your whole message. And that’s what we’ve done in my own brand, and to share it with other facilitators as well. And that that’s very powerful. And, of course, that not having to reinvent the wheel piece is huge! Joanne: Exactly. And Claire brings up such a good point. And I had just written down “pandemic” in my notes just now while you were talking. Not only is it a benefit to parents, because they get feel like they’re part of a community without having to step outside of their house, which is pretty darn hard there are restrictions on everything, restrictions on being in groups, how big the group can be, etcetera, etcetera. And we’re like, in the middle of a very big wave. But they still get to feel like they’re part of a community, they can do it virtually and be safe. But also from the provider standpoint, we aren’t going out to houses where you have to worry about toys, and then you have to worry about what is their chance of transmission, that it’s you know, it’s based on the fact that you can be effective in the work that you’re meant to do, and the need to do parent education. But you can do it virtually! That’s really helpful. And just, for people who are going into the homes, inside the homes and for providers who are doing EI, they’re still going into the homes, it just teaches them because we’re not supposed to be bringing toys anyway. Right. Especially with the pandemic, we’re definitely not supposed to be bringing in our toy bags. So it just teaches them a new way of thinking about how they’re going to do their therapy. And it forces them to involve the parents a little bit more. Because it’s like, we’re going to switch gears, we’re going to play with what you have. And that doesn’t have to be a toy, which… it makes parents feel really good. A lot of times when I walk into homes for the first time, parents are expecting me to be walking up with like a huge, backpack full of things. And I’m just walking in with my coat and my cell phone. I’m like, Hey, I’m here. I’m ready to play. Ayelet: Yeah! And by the way, everybody go check out Mecca’s… was it a reel? I think she made she was like, you don’t think I’m gonna bring toys? Yeah. Joanne: Yeah, exactly, everybody, definitely check out meccatheslp’s post from yesterday, that was really awesome. But yeah, families think we’re gonna come in with, you know, a whole bunch of toys. And it’s like, we’re coming in, just ourselves. We’re gonna empower you to be with your child. But also a lot of parents feel guilty because they don’t have anything. And we’re not bringing anything. But they feel like they have to have more… If they’re like, we don’t have much. And it’s like, okay, but what do you have? What can we… also, oh, you’re gonna go make a sandwich? Or some some parents have time poverty, right? In addition to, you know, like poverty in terms of finances, they have time poverty, there might be multiple children in the house that they need to attend to during that time where, you know, you’re sitting down, and they’re expected to sit down and play. They could be making sandwiches for like, you know, their other child who it’s lunchtime for, and neither, like the two of them don’t have to be separate, right, we can still go into the kitchen, we can still make that sandwich, we can still target so many skills. While you’re getting what you need to get to do done it’s part of a routine and you can focus on learning, obviously. Ayelet: Absolutely. Another thing that I love to do, especially in our like virtual classes, when if there is a sibling, like an older sibling who’s, I don’t know four or five, and you have a parent with, or a caregiver with an infant or young toddler… Getting that sibling involved and modeling for – showing the caregiver how to get the sibling involved, and how to model language, or model, you know, developmental concepts for the younger child, is so valuable and so powerful for that caregiver to see – like, oh, yeah, gosh, this is great, because all we need is a colander and a spoon and look, everybody’s going to be involved. Because, you know, my bigger kid is going to be showing the little one what they might do, and then providing the language, and all that, you know, just it’s this continued approach. And it just, it’s great. Joanne: Yeah, it’s great. I hope that everybody was able to get a lot of information about what the Learn With Less® program looks like. And this was just a sneak peek. We’re giving people an idea of what to expect because the retreat is on Saturday! Yeah. So what should we expect from the Expand Your Impact retreat? Ayelet: So really, the whole point of this day is to bring people together, share ways and get ideas and sort of vision, ways to you know serve your community, support yourself, using your existing skills. So whether you are an early childhood educator, a speech pathologist, an occupational therapist, physical therapist, somebody with a sort of a background in early child development-related stuff – SLPA! If you have an interest in, you’re in a helping profession, yeah. And if you have an interest in building other ways to guide and support families, and really facilitating that connection between caregiver and child, finding new ways to do that. And so we have four workshops that we’re going to be hosting. One is all about new ways to serve new families. So really thinking outside of the box about service delivery. We’ll be helping you to sort of refine your own inspired goal or vision. And then consider the role of like community and connection. Discover the importance of being able to identify that smallest next step to help you actually move forward into that goal. The second workshop we’ll be hosting is entitled Community Impact Begins With You, which is all about really how to become that person that your community needs. So really, considering what role community plays for you and for your ideal clients, defining the various ways that you want to create lasting impact. And then, of course, combating things like perfectionism and impostor syndrome, which tend to come up for people when they want to start or create something new that’s like outside of their box, right? Then the third workshop will be about how to put magic in the mundane. So really sharing more about that four pillar framework that I shared about today a little bit, what that looks like, and why it works for both like parenting and supporting families, and also starting or creating something new, whether that’s a small business, or a side, hustle, or a whatever. And we’ll sort of outline all the ways that busy and tired families can still support their little ones via everyday tasks and everyday items, and you’ll get to experience our curriculum, surprise! That will be really fun. The last one is about time hacking, because I know we are all busy professional, and how on earth do we fit even the time in to do those things and work towards those goals that we have, in terms of expanding the impact that we want to have on our communities. So really helping you envision and shift your sort of perspective, and reframe what’s possible for you, and sharing just simple, practical, and very powerful tools that can really keep you moving forward without feeling like you’re doing it wrong, or really not doing it at all. And then the best part of this whole four workshops is that we have a ton of amazing speakers. They are early childhood providers, they are physical therapists, occupational therapists, speech therapists, all kinds of amazing, amazing people who are doing these kinds of things in their communities. And so they will be sharing their own experiences and their own takeaways. I don’t like saying the word “advice,” but their thoughts, really, their thoughts about, and just their experiences about how they came to do the work that they’re doing. I just think that’s so powerful to hear from people who are doing the things that you want to be doing. So if you want to do things like serve families in your communities in different kinds of ways, with what you already know. And to provide parent education, and support that connection between caregiver and child. Learn to or discover how to believe that you can become a trusted authority in your area and finding that confidence to try or start something new. Whether you are a totally brand new baby business owner or a seasoned small business owner, or you don’t even consider yourself wanting to have a business, right? Yeah, trying something new. And then just discovering ways to serve families, where they’re at. And how to, I like the phrase “time hack,” your way towards making the impact that you want to have. So it’s a one day live virtual retreat, you do get access with your ticket to a replay period, as well as an invitation to apply for our free bonus day the following day, should you want to learn more about you know, creating lasting impact using an evidence based on high quality program that can have families lining up and wanting to come back again and again. And then of course, a ton of Q&A opportunities within the day itself to really… our whole goal is to really make this very interactive and very fun and, and to really model the things that we, that our company values, uphold! Things like community and playfulness and education and inclusivity and simplicity. So you’re welcome to learn more about the retreat, and I know with a great affiliate link, which means that she gets a cut of anybody who signs up through that link, but it’s no cost to you. Yeah. And I just really appreciate your support. Joanne: Yeah. So everyone can get their tickets and register. The thing that I do love about this retreat, which I think I told you, is that not only is it virtual, but it’s on a Saturday and I think lots of PD’s and retreats are usually in the middle of the week. And they’re usually like in the middle of your day, it’s kind of like hard to take the time off to be able to attend. So the nice thing about this is it’s only one day, and it’s on a weekend, and it’s virtual, so you don’t even have to leave your house. It’s going to be a really awesome retreat. I’m really excited. I’m gonna be there. And I do have an affiliate link. So you guys can go ahead and register through there. And hopefully, we can see you guys there. Ayelet: Yeah! Joanne, thank you so much for having me. This was fun. I love talking talking nerd talk about all this stuff. Joanne: Yeah. And we’re SLPs, that’s what we do! Ayelet, thank you so much for joining me. I’m super excited about the retreat. Ayelet: If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to DM me. I love chatting with y’all. So yeah, happy to chat. Joanne: Thank you so much for joining, Ayelet. Bye, thanks for chatting! Ayelet: Are you inspired to Learn With Less®? You can grab the Expand Your Impact workshop bundle by heading over to learnwithless.com/expand! Or, if you’re ready to learn more about the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program, head over to learnwithless.com/certification now! Feel free to get in touch if you have any questions. You can find me over at @learnwithless over on Instagram! The post Maximizing Natural Learning Opportunities Without Toys, with Joanne Cazeau appeared first on Learn With Less.

Empowering Parents is the Key As an educator or therapist, you recognize that empowering parents and caregivers is the key to supporting the families you serve. They’re the ones that are “doing it” everyday. Maybe you work primarily with children, and you want to expand to serve the family more holistically. Maybe you’re a therapist who believes in the parent coaching model and routines-based intervention. You’re curious to expand into serving families in a resource and support role. The idea of serving families in a new way in a parent education or parent support role can be daunting! To make a whole curriculum, to teach parents language (and other) strategies, to work with the whole family unit, outside of a classroom or therapy setting. You know this work is needed, and is an amazing expansion of your own skill set and knowledge. In my work both delivering caregiver/baby classes and training other professionals to create these programs in their own communities using the Learn With Less® Curriculum, I see 3 myths that tend to get people stuck, holding them back – often before they even get started. Now, before I get into these 3 myths and why they’re just false assumptions, I want to encourage you to fill out the short application form over at learnwithless.com/certification right now. You’ll gain access to my private training, which will teach you all about the ways to create lasting impact leading “caregiver & me” classes with a high quality, evidence-based, plug & play program that will have families coming back again and again. When you do, I’ll review your application, then I’ll send you limited time access to this training! In addition, I’ll be gifting you free Caregiver/Baby Classes Roadmap, wherein you’ll discover all the pieces to help you become successful with a family enrichment program that every infant/toddler family can access. 3 Myths That Are Holding You Back From Leading Caregiver/Baby Classes I find that many people believe you have to have children of your own or be an “ideal caregiver” yourself to lead Caregiver/Baby Classes in your community… First of all, I personally would pack up my baby and things, and leave the room if I walked into a group where the facilitator claimed to be the best parent ever or to know everything there is about early child development. Of course parents and caregivers want to be led in community by a facilitator who has knowledge, someone who has experience… But let’s stop for a second and think. Do you like learning from a perfectionist? Especially in one of your most vulnerable states (i.e., early parenthood)?? When parents and care givers come together in a group setting like this to gain support, education, and ideas about how to help their child thrive… they’re often not looking for a rigid parenting philosophy. They’re looking for a place where they can feel heard. Where they can connect with each other, with their babies, with a community that understands what they’re going through. So it doesn’t matter whether you have kids of your own, or whether you regularly fall short of being an ideal caregiver yourself. What matters is: do you love being around kids? Do you interact well with kids? Do you love empowering and coaching parents? Because when it comes to wearing your teacher hat or therapist hat OR a family enrichment facilitator hat… what you’re doing matters… but it doesn’t matter as much as how the parent feels their child is doing. The goal is to help the parent or caregiver feel supported, empowered, and curious about discovering something new about themselves or their child. What matters is whether you have empathy, whether you can learn to create community so that you can help parents and caregivers feel empowered to try new strategies or new ways of playing with their kids. Myth #2: You have to perform for the parents & caregivers or expend energy so they’ll participate & engage with your “caregiver & baby” classes I find that many people considering leading parent education and support classes believe that you have to perform for the parents and caregivers or spend a lot of energy to get them to participate and engage with your classes. Professionals with whom I’ve spoken often share with me that getting adults to participate can be difficult, or that they seem conditioned to approach the class as if you’re doing a service or performance for them. Now, I have certainly seen this happen. And I think a lot of it comes down to a few things. First, the primary objective is to lead with trust building. Parents are often confronted with divisive topics and opinions on every single topic, whether it’s how they choose to feed their babies, hold their babies, or put their babies to sleep… The primary objective when building community for parents and caregivers is to ensure that you are creating a place where everyone – regardless of the social identities they hold – can feel included and heard. Now, that’s no small order. That’s why I highly recommend that you ensure you are in a practice of understanding more about the systems that uphold certain social identities over others, and where you fall in terms of the identities you hold. I also recommend that you stop looking at these groups with a “therapy” or “teacher” hat on. You’re not leading them. You’re not telling them how to parent. You’re not telling them what to do. You are facilitating. That means that you need to be modeling, you need to be sharing, you need to be asking them what they need, you need to be setting the tone. You don’t need to solve their problems. You don’t need to give them “one-size-fits-all” solutions. I also think there is a lot here to do with the fact that often, when leading a group of parents and young children, the greatest challenge for you as the facilitator is actually meeting the needs of the group versus the needs of the curriculum. This is why ensuring that the content you share needs to be flexible. It needs to allow for and accommodate the needs of the group. As a facilitator, you may not know how to address everyones’ questions. Please know: you don’t have to. The knowledge of other families in the room may be useful, and when you are the person in the room with access to more resources, there’s nothing wrong with saying, “let me look into that and share some information with you later.” Myth #3: You will have to spend lots of money and time on marketing, ads, logistics, etc. that may or may not work I hear from many, many professionals who believe they’ll have to spend lots of money and time on marketing, ads, logistics, etc. that may or may not work. While this absolutely CAN be true, it doesn’t have to be. When you have a plan, when you know how to address the challenges your families are sharing – within your marketing… When you make time to create systems around logistics like finding spaces, communicating with your potential audience through things like email and social media, building relationships in your community, and build self-reflection measures into your entire process… It all becomes much simpler. When you know the value of your program, know what you’re presenting, have a plan for promotion, create partnerships with existing organizations and businesses in your community… you have a roadmap. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. You can create a system that works. You can be intentional about where you put your energy. You can do more of what you enjoy – which, of course, is the actual service to families. Don’t Reinvent The Wheel So if you want to discover how to show parents and caregivers what play is all about: helping them learn to let their infants and toddlers explore, experiment, fail, and persist. If you want to find out how to get parents to try new things – even if they haven’t been willing in the past. If you’re looking for ways to establish a relationship quickly and get buy in for your families. If you want to logistically enroll for economic diversity in a fiscally responsible way – even if you’ve considered various avenues before. If you want to discover new ways to offer your knowledge to young parents in your community – even if you don’t have a clear plan! If you want to figure out what to present, how much to charge, how to promote, and how long to make your workshops… Start by registering for my FREE on-demand training, Then head over to learnwithless.com/certification and fill out the short application so I can share with you the private training helping you create that lasting impact on new families in your community. Feel free to get in touch if you have any questions. The post 3 Myths Holding You Back From Leading Caregiver/Baby Classes appeared first on Learn With Less.

Families already have all the “right” tools to support their babies: they just need to know how to use them. In today’s episode, I’m going to be sharing with you the ultimate guide to supporting infant and toddler families through parent education. Because here’s the thing: The single most important thing your families need to realize about supporting their young child’s development is that they already have all the “right” tools to support their babies: they just need to know how to use them. All around the world, educators and therapists working with families with infants and toddlers are moving to a “routines-based intervention” approach. Essentially what that means is that the research is finally catching up with what professionals in early childhood education have known for a long time: tiny humans must be supported by responsive caregivers, and do this best in their natural environment. In the first few years of life, children learn through a process of observation (observing others), imitation (starting to imitate others) and interaction (interacting with objects in the environment and with other people in the environment). And everyday routines are those common threads that help children make sense of the world, and help them learn about basic concepts, about vocabulary for things around them, about how their bodies move and how the world feels, and about how to engage socially with others. Apply now to receive access to my private training! So when parents and caregivers can learn to maximize the everyday routines and everyday objects that they’re often already participating in and using, they can unlock their potential and boost development… and this, in turn, gives them the peace of mind they crave: it empowers them to do the big job of parenting tiny humans. They get to combat the overwhelm of early parenthood. Parenting is that great equalizer, and no matter where your families come from, what language(s) they speak, what socio-economic bracket under which they fall, or whether a child is developing along a typical progression or whether she falls outside the norm, there’s one single thing we all need to realize: When you can help families learn to recognize the tools they already have to boost their young child’s development, you’re able to help them maximize the time they have with their babies, you help them feel empowered to “get it right,” and you’re able to help them unlock the power of everyday routines (diaper) and everyday objects (paper roll) to figure out how to support their tiny human and boost all areas of development. Play, Talk, Sing, Move So what are the kinds of things we as educators and therapists can do to support young children and their families? What are the things we can show parents and caregivers that can help them infuse every single interaction with more connection, more opportunities for interaction, more vocabulary, more modeling? I see these as play, talk, sing, and move. I refer to these as the 4-pillars of Learn With Less®. I come back to these in each one of my therapeutic sessions as a pediatric speech-language pathologist, in everything I model and discuss with client families, and in all my parent education work with Learn With Less®. Now, the ultimate goal both with direct therapy and with any kind of parent education or enrichment class, is to build family capacity, competence, and confidence. THEREFORE, this means that your job as a parent educator or a therapist of any kind is to help parents and caregivers believe they can make a difference with their child… and you can do that using very simple strategies and very simple materials! As a pediatric speech-language pathologist, parent educator, and imperfect mother of two young children, I see so often that parents and caregivers often get caught up with the idea of finding the “best route” to follow, and then, instead of thinking things through or thinking about why they believe something is the best or why a certain material holds specific developmental value, they become a “blind follower” to the tool they’re using or philosophy they’re following. Your job as a parent educator or therapist, in many ways, is to help them think for themselves. It’s to show them that the materials you’re using don’t matter. Because – they ARE going to get fixated on the materials! I kid you not, I’ve literally had a mom say out loud without even thinking about it as her baby was reaching and grasping for an empty toilet paper roll, “We’re going to have to go and get one of these!” We had a good laugh about that when she realized what she had just said. But we are conditioned to want to go out and get the best for our babies! And because the baby industry is so strong, we believe we have to go out and buy things to support development. So it’s not about the materials. It’s what you infuse the experience with that matters. In the Learn With Less® curriculum, I encourage families to use four basic pillars to connect with their little ones. These are the pillars of play, talk, sing, and move, and these pillars allow us to connect as a group, and allow me to facilitate and model to other caregivers. Today, I’m going to break those down for you. As a facilitator of caregiver/baby groups, a parent educator, or a therapist of any kind, these four pillars will help you provide families with the foundation for learning and connection, and will help you break down early development so parents and caregivers can think about supporting their infants and toddlers through simple, manageable steps. Pointing out these pillars allows you as an educator to set a warm and friendly tone with both caregiver and child, and allows you to use the languages of play, talk, sing, and move to connect, facilitate, and model to other caregivers. So what are the kinds of things we can do to support young children? That can infuse every single interaction with more connection, more opportunities for interaction, more vocabulary, more modeling? What does that mean for our little ones? First, we want to define PLAY with attention to the following principles: Open-ended play – meaning, we want to encourage caregivers to engage in exploration of the environment and of everyday objects, and being playful can simply mean Exploring, experimenting, and offering varied environments and varied objects Most importantly: we want to help adults see that being playful is a different way to look at what we, as we grown ups, come to define as play: many adults come into the idea of “playing with their child” as following a set of rules of a game, like, we hit the ball, we run, we score! Or, as a procedural exercise: we open the book, we read the page, we turn the page, repeat! So, encouraging caregivers to “play” with NO specific end goal in mind can really require them to reframe their entire thinking! Now, of course, in a therapeutic context, you are going to want to weave whatever skill you’re working on into the play! SO whether it’s turn-taking, eye gaze, joint attention, imitation, gesture use, first words, or building on existing verbal language… We want to create an environment where the caregiver is encouraged to be flexible and accepting of what is happening, what might happen next, and what their child is doing And finally, within that play, we want to ensure safety with a variety of materials. Next, we want to define this second pillar, TALK, with attention to the following principles: We want to help caregivers recognize that just by having discussions with their (potentially pre-verbal!) baby or toddler, just by making observations alongside their child, they are creating a language-rich environment. We want to encourage them to engage in the gold standard of early learning: repetition with variation, which we’ll talk more about in a few minutes. So helping them see the value in all those everyday experiences like the diaper change and the sitting down to a meal or the bath or the waking up or going to bed routine… all those are opportunities for repetition… and tiny variations they can make, with a change of pace, with a change in attention, with the addition of a choice-making opportunity, with a little song, and so on… that is the way to go! We also want to help them remember that the drill and kill kind of “what’s this, what’s this, what’s this” labelling that many parents get stuck in (because they want their child to show them how much they know!) is just one of maaaaaaany reasons we communicate – labeling is just one way we can talk about things, but so is asking questions, so is making requests, so is greeting, and so many other parts of joint attentional acts and socially interactive acts, and behavioral regulation acts… And we want them to recognize that we ALL communicate using a variety of means and modes – not just with words, but all those precursors to language, and all those additional ways like eye gaze, and facial expression, and gestures, and moving closer to an object… We want to help them recognize that modeling our own curiosity, talking about our own feelings, imitating their vocalizations and verbalizations and movements… are all supporting various areas of communication… And finally, we want them to realize that they are the primary language models. They are the ones modeling what they want their child to then imitate. So not only do we want to help them model a wonderful variation of vocabulary, and the formation of sentences, etc., but we also want them to model positive behavior, positive communication styles, and we want them to talk to their children and around their children in the ways we want them to eventually do the same to us. And now we come to SING, the one people often have the most trouble gathering resources and just doing. But we want to give families the chance to realize that this pillar of “sing” doesn’t necessarily mean singing everyday and in every way with their child. There are soooo many ways to be musical with young children. But because music is so powerful, I really encourage you to give them ways to just feel at ease trying things out (by modeling your imperfection, as well!), and using music to add a silly element to a simple routine like the diaper change – “stiiiiiiiinky diaper, it’s tiiiiiime for a new one!” or “is there a poopoo in there, is there a poopoo in there? Was it only air or is there poopoo in there?” We want to help them see that simply by adding “you pooped, you pooped, you really really pooped” is adding joy into a routine! And just by using a melody or a change in pace or rhythm, we can distract a child or engage a child… using musicality! We also want to encourage them to remember that rhythms ARE everywhere – that nearly everything can become a percussive instrument (and their child playing with a bowl and wooden spoon IS a musical experience!) … because they can make music with what they already have. They might have a few lovely instruments, a wooden drum, a few maracas… but they might also have a poster tube full of dried beans or an upside down laundry basket. And you’re here to show them how to make use of those! Finally, we want to define this last pillar, MOVE, with attention to the following principles: Movement. IS. Life. Their child learns about… everything… by learning how his body moves, where it is in space, by solving the problem of how to balance and lift and figuring out elements of force, of gravity, and of becoming the scientists that they are… through movement. So, we want them to remember that even with a tiny baby or a child with motor challenges, they can consider various movement planes – whether it’s during tummy time or a dance party or a lullaby, whether it’s to stimulate or regulate. And exploration, which is learning, cannot be contained. So we might have some movement in and out of the location where the session started. We might be sitting up or laying on the floor. We might be mouthing something or exploring how one surface is different from the next. The Way Forward Now, I want to finish by, again, reminding you that the way forward in early intervention, in routines-based intervention, or in any family enrichment workshop or class… is not about you getting to show off all your cute therapy toys, or getting to use your laminator. For EVERY single material you use (if you bring it into the home, if you provide materials within a group, or if you use what’s already there), try to think of the most basic version. In our use of everyday items, we are educating caregivers that they don’t need what you have: they can use what they already have in their own home, regardless of how “much” or how “little” they have! Your clients are a diverse set of caregivers and children who may or may not be accustomed to playing with a variety of materials. They may have started your session already having spent the morning in a cardboard box or the kitchen cabinets… or the caregiver may be completely opposed to their child using their kitchen as a play space. And the latter? THAT’S OK! That is their right. So if they’re just not comfortable, find another way, another material, another space. Remember, we’re building family capacity, family confidence, and family competence. You’re making attempts at creating an environment for exploration, you’re providing examples for ways they can engage with their own children. You’re giving them ideas about how they might generalize at home or when you’re not there. You’re showing examples – you’re not giving them the “right” way to parent. Your model and your structure provides them with a new set of eyes, a new way to see what they already have and what they can use and do… should they wish to implement that without you. They may start to see, over time, that “controlled chaos” is maybe sometimes ok. That mess is not always terrible, or that they can create “mess” in ways that are more comfortable than others. And they may start to see that the value of those little moments in between… are actually incredibly powerful. Parents and caregivers often define “learning” and “play” in more adult terms – this is often something that manifests itself in activities like book reading. Clients often express to me that the “problem,” for instance, when they sit down with a book with their young child is that their toddler just wants to “remove all the books out of the book stand” or “just wants to turn the page for no other reason than just to turn the page.” When I dig a little bit deeper with them about what about this “irks” them, they often explain that they simply want their child to attend to something interesting or special in the book, or they know that book-reading and early literacy is important. So that means that there are a lot of levels of parent education that we as clinicians have to do about how all young children learn. So here we are. Families need a guide. They want to know how “best” to help their children. That guide can be you. Remember where they are. Often overwhelmed, sleep-deprived, anxious, and needing to be reassured they are doing all the things “right.” Apply now to receive access to my private training! They all want to do enough for their children. Every single parent wants this. The strategies we’ve discussed today focus on empowering the family, creating confidence, helping them feel competent, and and building their own capacity: helping them see what they’re capable of, and giving them the eyes to see the value of what they’re already doing – adding just a few tweaks to their mundane everyday moments. I believe that a very powerful way to do that is through community based caregiver/baby classes. And I’d love to share the knowledge that I’ve gained over the last 6 or so years, creating my own curriculum and sharing it with families all over the world, both virtually and in-person. I’d love to share with you our community of facilitators who are also leading classes using the Learn With Less® curriculum with families, diversifying their income streams, and creating social impact on families in their communities. I invite you to apply now to the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program. When you do, I’ll be reviewing your application. If you’re a good fit, I’ll share with you my private training all about how to create lasting impact on families in your community, using a high quality, evidence-based, “plug & play” program that’ll have families coming back again and again. In addition, I’ll be gifting you my “caregiver & child classes roadmap,” which will help you discover how to promote parent education about play and development, facilitate opportunities for early parent support, establish yourself as a resource and leader, earn an income, and create a steady stream of clients for your other services. This roadmap will show you the six areas you’ll need to consider so the overwhelm of starting your own thing doesn’t stop you in your tracks before you even begin, and so you don’t have to reinvent the wheel when it comes to leading caregiver/baby classes in your local community. I can’t wait to hear what you think! The post The Ultimate Guide to Supporting Infant & Toddler Families appeared first on Learn With Less.

Supporting The Family As A Unit, as a Parent Educator We’ve used the term “Mommy & Me” here because it’s a searchable term, but we refer to our Learn With Less® classes as “caregiver & me” classes. Not familiar with this term? We use it as one way to reflect our commitment to inclusivity. Our classes are open – and meant for – ALL parents and caregivers: not just moms… but also dads, non-binary folks, grandparents, foster parents, babysitters, nannies, and other amazing grownups who care for tiny humans. We’re playing the “search term” game, here (so that you can find this great content more easily!), and we’re committed to helping shift the conversation from “mommy & me” classes to “caregiver & me” classes… to do our part to shape the more inclusive world we’d like to live in. As an educator or a therapist of any kind, you know that parents and caregivers need to feel confident that they can support and connect with their new baby or toddler. As a professional working with families, the single most important thing that allows you to do your job effectively… is to support that CONNECTION between caregiver and child. You know that all parents and caregivers – regardless of where they come from, what language(s) they speak, or what socio-economic bracket under which they fall, ALL want the same thing for their child: to raise a great human and to have peace of mind they’re doing what they need to do to support their child. You also know that not all parents and caregivers come into parenthood knowing about how to support their children’s development, and many of them have a LOT of questions. They may rely on you as an educator or therapist to “fix their child” or “educate their child” for them, but many of them want to know more, want to “do it right” and “do it better.” You know that not all kids who need a bit of help are going to qualify for early intervention services. And finally, you know that ALL parents/caregivers – whether their children are developing within “normal” limits or whether they fall outside of the typical trajectory. They could use the support and education involved in seeing how the magic in those mundane, everyday moments is the key to connection, the key to supporting their child’s development, and the key to raising a great human being – from day one. Ready to apply now to the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program? Head here! You Have the Knowledge and Ability to Support Families through Parent Education Within the therapy room, you can support parents and caregivers alongside their children if you’re serving a child with delays, and if you can manage to get buy-in and engagement from the family. Within an early childcare setting, you can support the children by creating a language-rich, movement-rich, child-led environment to support open ended play… But still, you know you could be doing more to support the family unit as a whole. There’s still that niggling feeling that, with your knowledge about early child development and how to support the bond between caregiver and child… you could create truly enriching opportunities to help families from all backgrounds in your local area… And… you know could probably get paid to do it! You may have already started checking out the other offerings in your area. You may already be the person many of your friends and neighbors confide in or ask questions about development or behavior problems… The idea of leading “mommy and me” (caregiver & me) groups or “sign language” classes or “early language development” workshops… may crossed your mind. You may be tempted to put yourself out there and try something new… So I want to give you 5 reasons why leading “mommy & me” (caregiver & me) style family enrichment classes is in your best interest as a professional working with families. 1. Promote parent education about play and development Whether you work with children who are developing along a typical progression, or who are experiencing developmental delays, you may be looking for additional tools to encourage parents and caregivers to understand their children and the stages they go through. As professionals working with families, I know many of us feel we’re often repeating suggestions and are often looking for more concrete suggestions for parents, as well as multiple ways or activities that they can do to address early learning. Leading caregiver/baby workshops allows you to establish a relationship quickly, gives all families access to fun and simple activity ideas they can learn to do to help their infants or toddlers thrive. These family enrichment classes can provide caregivers with suggestions they can take home and apply more generally . This is true, even if they’ve seen your examples in a therapy room or classroom setting as the only way to do things. You can help them see where their child’s development is, what their child is looking for, what their child is showing them, how they can respond to that to get their child to the next step – you can create a space that says, “this is a place where we can explore together.” 2. Facilitate opportunities for early parent support Early parenthood can be incredibly isolating for families. Parents and caregivers don’t often have the opportunity to observe and reflect about their own challenges, or about their children in an organized, uplifting space. A group scenario that allows families to benefit from quality, developmentally enriching opportunities, adds a whole other layer of enrichment – as families can learn together and from one another. Often, bringing families together provides them with additional opportunities to build their own confidence and parental competence, and allows the facilitator to convey to parents that THEY are the agents of change in their household. It doesn’t matter where you come from or what economic level you’re at, everyone wants the best for their child – that’s universal! If you build authentic relationships with various populations within your community so that you can serve them in the ways they express a need to be served, you become a wonderful conduit of knowledge. When you get groups of parents together that are of different backgrounds, it can be quite miraculous. Everyone gets to learn together and from each other, and everyone gets their assumptions blown out of the water. That said, it’s also beneficial to create identity-aligned groups, especially for families holding marginalized identities. This is one of the biggest reasons why I started this program: as a white, cis-gendered, heterosexual, able-bodied, neuro-typical/allistic woman, I’m not the “right” person to serve every community. But the next licensed Learn With Less® facilitator just might be the right one for their community! 3. Establish yourself as a resource and leader in your local community As a therapist or educator, I’ll bet one of your biggest thrills or pleasures is giving families resources for other high quality supports that are community-based. What if you could create a natural transition for families to engage with you – and with other families – what if you could partner with other local organizations, and support families in new ways? As a therapist, you know that you can only do so much in your role as “expert” – or as an educator, you can create that learning environment for the child… but to be able to truly empower the whole family unit is a gift that keeps on giving. When we’re in a therapeutic or educational context, you’re often focusing on one specific skill that you’re trying to do. But in so doing, you’re also supporting all kinds of different things, we just don’t talk about that. The family enrichment class context provides the context for learning, exploring, observing, and scaffolding – for both the child and the adult! And you get to facilitate that! 4. Earn an income You can earn or supplement an income, diversify your current offerings and practice, and supplement a maternity/paternity leave! You may have gone into the field you’re in because you’re passionate about working with children, dedicated to helping families, committed to the work of early childhood education, maternal mental health, or strengthening family relationships. You have a knowledge base that is valuable to others. In this climate where we aren’t quite sure what’s coming around the corner, how we’re going to be serving our communities, or whether our industries or companies will survive a global pandemic… The ability to diversify one’s income streams and the ways in which we serve our families by sharing knowledge, imparting information, providing enriching experiences is a gift like nothing else. The ability to introduce families to developmental concepts (supporting their babies with what they already have) is what creates freedom and true job satisfaction. And we can do that not only in our primary functions as therapists or educators, but as a parent educator, “mommy & me” (caregiver & me”) class facilitator! Give families virtual and local, in-person ways to connect with each other, with their tiny humans, with you (a knowledgeable practitioner!) and with themselves in this new identity as caregiver. 5. Create a steady stream of clients for your other services When you help families bring more joy into their homes, create community by bringing families together, foster early development and early parent support… you also build your own authority in your community. You can promote your other services through your classes! You can create and build a system that allows you to build your reputation in your community as a provider in the realm of early childhood and early parenthood. Again, this is true regardless of whether you’re wearing a “therapist” or “teacher” or “parent educator” or “facilitator” hat. My grandfather believed in the idea of “repotting” yourself – the idea of moving between industries or roles in life and in business, to remain inspired, and to keep oneself fresh. To never stagnate. When we repot ourselves by taking on new roles, we get to support families in different ways, towards the same end goal: connection. Because everyone wants the same thing: to connect and support their child and do the best that they can. Caregiver/Baby Classes Roadmap So whether you’re a new parent yourself, looking for extra income and a way to share your professional knowledge (as I was)… Whether you’re considering dipping your foot in the water and starting your own thing (private practice, your own small business)… Or whether you’re looking to expand your offerings within an existing practice… You can become a wonderful resource, expanding your impact on your community and serving families while supporting yourself. You’re in the right place. I’d love to invite you to apply now to become a Learn With Less® facilitator. When you submit your application, we’ll take the time to review it. If you’re a good fit, I’ll gift to you a private training I’ve created, which will help you discover how to create lasting impact on your community by leading “caregiver & child” classes using a high quality, evidence-based program that’ll have families coming back again and again. I would love to be a guide on your journey to expand your impact, helping you discover how to promote parent education about play and development, facilitate opportunities for early parent support, establish yourself as a resource and leader, earn an income, and create a steady stream of clients for your other services. I’ll also share with you a free resource, my caregiver & child classes roadmap, which will show you the six areas you’ll need to consider so the overwhelm of starting your own thing doesn’t stop you in your tracks before you even begin, and so you don’t have to reinvent the wheel when it comes to leading caregiver/baby classes in your local community. You can download that and gain access to my private training now, over at: https://learnwithless.com/certification I can’t wait to see your application come through! The post 5 Reasons Why You Should Lead “Mommy & Me” Style Enrichment Classes appeared first on Learn With Less.

Bringing Together New Families to Build Community On this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, Ayelet sits down with Lindsay Teitelbaum, a pediatric speech-language pathologist, mother, parent educator, Learn With Less® facilitator, and the owner of the inclusive community play space, Spirited Play Labs. Lindsay’s physical community play space for new families is in San Ramon, California. She supports new families with neurodiverse children, as well as parents and caregivers with children of all developmental levels, from birth to three. Lindsay has doubled down on building community by bringing groups of families together with “caregiver & me” groups. Not familiar with the term, “caregiver & me” classes? We use it as a more inclusive term instead of “mommy & me” classes. Our classes are open to – and meant for – ALL parents and caregivers: not just moms… but also dads, non-binary folks, grandparents, foster parents, babysitters, nannies, and other amazing grownups who care for tiny humans. We’re going to play the “search term” game here (so you can find this great content more easily!) and help shift the conversation from “mommy & me” classes to “caregiver & me” classes… to do our part to shape the more inclusive world we’d like to live in. In this episode, we discuss: Lindsay’s background and how she placed her values front and center in terms of how she wanted to practice speech-language therapy What drew her to the Learn With Less® philosophy, and the value of prioritizing parents and caregivers and parent education Perception changes she’s experienced that allowed her to create a space for families What it means to be creating an inclusive space, what Lindsay has considered, and who ends up being centered How it feels to serve families as a facilitator, instead of coming in as the “expert” Helpful Resources Related to This Episode Learn With Less® Stories:  Additional podcast episodes and other interviews from educators who’ve provided the Learn With Less® infant/toddler family enrichment curriculum and families who’ve experienced our programming. FREE Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint: Discover the four major areas of infant and toddler development, what’s involved in each one in the first three years of life, and what you can do to support that learning (using what you already have in your home). Maisie Soetantyo’s Better Community certification and Autism Career Pathways (you can follow Maisie Soetantyo on Instagram, here) Independent Clinician Podcast, with Jena Castro-Casbon Affect Autism Podcast Two Sides of the Spectrum with Meg Proctor Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (save 70%)! Discover how to support & connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Use your existing skills as an educator or therapist to serve families holistically with a high quality program that will provide lasting impact! Apply now to become a licensed facilitator Learn With Less®. Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes: the magic of Learn With Less® lies in the communal aspect of coming together with our resources, in community with other families. Join us for a virtual or in-person class led by a licensed facilitator near you! Connect With Us Lindsay: Website / Instagram / Facebook  Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of The Podcast Episode Ayelet: Lindsay Teitelbaum! I’m so happy to have you here recording for the Learn With Less® podcast will you go ahead and just share a little bit about you, how you got into this work, your educational background, and how that led you to what you’re doing now! Big question, but you know, that’s where we’ll start. And if you could share your pronouns and where you are in the world and all that. Lindsay: Yeah, so my name is Lindsay Teitelbaum, pronouns she/her. I live currently in San Leandro, California, which is the San Francisco East Bay. And I have a business in San Ramon, California called Spirited Play Labs. I am a speech therapist. And I’ve been doing speech therapy for about eight years or so. And I’ve worked in a lot of different organizations and systems in which I just took issue with a lot of the ways in which we treat kids, you know, using speech therapy. I discovered Learn With Less® during COVID, so 2020. And at the same time was sort of envisioning something larger where I could practice the principles of therapy, but also parent coaching and community building that I felt like I wasn’t able to practice elsewhere. So that was in school districts, private practice, clinic work, I’ve done all of those things throughout my career. And there was always those couple pieces that I was like, Oh, you seem like you want to do this, but then you’re not really doing it, or you just don’t want to change things or whatever, you know, that whole thing about if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, you know? And so, during COVID, I was working for a public school, you know, we weren’t doing anything in person, and then also virtual, they wouldn’t let us do anything virtual. And so I just said, Oh, okay, I’m going to stop, then, I’m going to leave this district, and I’m going to go into private practice. And that’s where I started seeing kids and building the vision of what Spirited Play Labs is, and I did your Learn With Less® training during that time, which really significantly influenced what I did with Spirited Play Labs. A Community Center For Families, Featuring a Multisensory Play Space The business that I have currently is a community center, I run an open play space, inclusive, multi sensory space. It’s interesting, because it’s bringing in neurodivergent, kids, neurotypical kids, it’s a big old mix. And I love that, and it’s birth to six. And then in addition, I’m doing parent and child facilitated play groups. To me, the parent and child piece is like the most important because a lot of people are doing facilitated social groups or play groups or what we call like social skills and all this, but the most important piece is that the parent is present in the groups that we’re running. And it’s play, and it’s with your community. And I’m doing lots of different versions of that with other local providers in the area. Okay, that’s everything. Ayelet: That’s everything, yeah. Okay, so where to go from here? I mean there’s so much… so much there! So okay, let’s take it back, and I would love to hear a little bit if you could tell the good listeners… So you said before you started the Learn With Less® program, you were working in a few different kinds of environments like private practice and in the school district, right, before I started. Initially, what was it that drew you to this whole Learn With Less® philosophy? What was it that brought you in and made you want to take a move? Lindsay: One piece was I felt like a lot of the people that I worked with didn’t seem like they cared about parents, or they saw parents as an obstacle. It was always this sort of negative thing around parent. And then I became a parent in 2017. And especially because most of us are, you know, white women in this field, serving a diverse group of families. And I always just felt like we stepped in, and we were like, this kind of boss lady being like, Oh, I don’t like the way you do this, parent! The style that we approached parents was very, like, authoritative from above talking down. And I always was just like, this is weird, like, what’s the point of this? And so Learn With Less® really spoke to me because it was directly addressing the parents. You and like one other sort of giant program is sort of addressing parents, I don’t know of many other programs that directly say, parents are part of the experience of development. We want parents to be given the tools, and we want parents to be the main sort of supporter and teacher of their children… and that we are the conduit, we are the vessel for that information; we are not the information. Ayelet: Us as educators and therapists, right or yeah, I love that. The Parent Piece: Working With Young Children Means Working With The Whole Family Lindsay: I would work with a kid for an hour, and I would walk away and I would be like, so what? What did I do for an hour? I put on a little show, I did a little song and dance for the kids. I got them… and people would say to me, Oh, you get my kid to do things that I can’t do. And I was like, Oh, I’m failing, actually, if that’s what they’re telling me! Because, who cares if their kid can use certain skills or certain strategies when I’m present but as soon as my presence is gone, they’re no longer able to do those things. I’m like, what’s… what is that then that’s no point, no point. So Learn With Less® spoke to me because of that parent piece. And then, the other piece that I really liked was… I’m also just, my own parenting style is giving my kid like… Like, I remember when he was little I used to just get paper towel rolls. And I’d just put them on his hands and see what he did. Just silly stuff in the house, and I almost never bought toys. And I would go to Target. They have now an entire V-Tech aisle, and it keeps expanding! And I’m like, What is going on here. So I was also really inspired, I worked at the public preschool, and all of those people would give me their hand-me-downs, and they were all just sort of, quote unquote, old school toys were really simple. They have no lights and flashing and all of this. I just felt like, oh, yeah, like this is so accessible. And this is meaningful. It doesn’t have to have lights and sounds, and blah blah blah, to make it an environmentally enriching toy. On top of that, I actually saw a lot of the kids that I served in speech therapy, playing with those toys. The relationships go away when those toys are activated, because they’re like, woosh! Right into that toy. You would try as a therapist to engage sometimes. And it was like… get away, this is my private experience with this toy. So I always just felt like some of those toys made it so that you didn’t need to be in relationship, which sometimes that’s fine. But sometimes it’s like, I want to build relationship with you, or I want you to build relationship with your parents. So what items can we think about to do that if it’s not going to have like lights and sounds and stuff? Ayelet:  So you found as a parent yourself, as a caregiver yourself that you gravitated to that and you could see the benefit of these everyday items, and simple, simple toy-like substances that were hugely beneficial. And like you said, I love that they could help to build the relationship, because that’s what we’re talking about, right? I mean, we’re talking about helping families to feel confident that they can both support their child’s development and also the connection between caregiver and child. That’s huge, right? Yeah, that’s the whole point. So tell us a little bit about this journey into and through Learn With Less®, because you started the program. Tell me a little bit about your own perception of yourself, too, as far as how you felt you were going to achieve this shift. And then now, how that changed after participating in the training program. Parent Education Means Getting on Equal Footing With Families Lindsay: I remember the content all immediately spoke to me. And I was like, yes, yes, yes. And I took it in, and it felt in alignment with what I believe or what I was already practicing. And the area in which I think I had the most growth was in understanding how to, because even though I love working with parents, I still have a lot of work to do in really understanding how to coach parents and support parents versus that direct, “I’m going to tell you” thing. And so the module that you did around adult learning really spoke to me because I feel like I did graduate school. I learned all about kids, like, I got that part. It’s really the part around the parents thinking about the diverse backgrounds they come from the identities they have the style of learner that they are… thinking about that is like a whole new paradigm that is really scary, but also will make the most meaningfulness for the children that I say I’m serving. And so I think stepping into that role, I just, I want to be able to just talk to parents in a way where they feel like they’re understood and they’re being talked to at a matched level. I’m not at this authoritative hierarchy level. And so that was what I think the modules really helped me to do. And then once it came time to doing our demos, yeah, continuing to remember that it’s not about me putting on… it’s so hard to not, like, the show. It’s all about for speech therapists. And I don’t know about other disciplines, but it’s all about the show, right? You know, the big… Ayelet: Can you define that further for our listeners who maybe are not quite familiar Lindsay: Yeah, you show up and you’re really happy, and you have… And you’re constantly moving and talking, and you’re bringing out all the best items, and you’re like putting it in the kid’s face and you’re like going, going, going, going and not stopping talking and not making space for anybody else. Because you feel as if you’re being put on the spot to like, be amazing. That, to me, is the show. And I used to walk away from that super tired and just feeling like it was not authentic. Even though you know, I’m an East Coast Jewish woman, I’m very talkative by nature, but showing up to someone’s home and becoming a chameleon into their own experience… that takes a lot of self restraint and a lot of patience. And it’s definitely worth working on that, ongoing. So that was I think, the most impactful piece just continuing to try that out and feel that out. Especially in a group dynamic, allowing for whatever families bring, allowing that to exist and not trying to fix fix, fix, manage, manage, manage, you know. Ayelet: Yeah, it’s a huge paradigm shift for so many. I mean, I think for pretty much every single facilitator that’s gone through the program has commented on that shift from wearing the teacher hat or the educator hat or the therapist hat, into this facilitator hat. Can you talk just a little bit more about what that feels like or what that looks like for you? Building Relationships with Parents to Address Their Needs Lindsay: It’s like so much observing. And not doing a lot of talking, and I have not been doing as much direct work while I build the business, but before I took a pause on direct work, it felt like becoming friends with the parents. It felt like building relationship with the parents and addressing their direct needs in the moment and not coming in with a prepared… Like, topics are good, but like ultimately dropping the topic to a degree if it doesn’t suit these specific parents or trying to address the topic in very individualized ways. So it feels actually like more thinking and less talking. Yeah, right. So sort of watching what’s happening and trying to meet that moment, instead of concocting all these grand plans and trying to make those happen. Ayelet: I think that is a big, big shift. And for so many of us therapists types, especially those who I think are the majority comprising this field of like Type A, very planned out, you know, very highly structured, this is how the session will go. And, and being able to sit back and say, Okay, I do have a structure, I have a lesson plan, an activity plan. But being able to sit and say, Okay, here’s what I want you to try, here’s what we’re going to look at today, or in this session. Here’s the purpose of what we’re going to try to do. And then I’m going to see what happens if you follow my lead. And then we’re going to look at what words come up, what movements come up. What things that the child is exploring what kind of play comes up and what we can say about that. Or how we can put it into a song or a rhythm or whatever that is what the Learn With Less® curriculum is right? Yeah. And that’s that we have, it’s within a structure, but highly unstructured. Lindsay: I’ve been thinking of the word structured chaos a lot. Because when I see the groups happening at Spirited Play Labs, like there’s this moment of a little terror, you know, you’re watching it, you’re like, Oh, my God, you know, you have this, like, whatever you have, you have some people bring cardboard boxes, or pools of water, or whatever kind of random items. And you have this group of toddlers, pre K kids, whatever coming in, and you’re like, Ooh, let’s see what happens. That takes a lot of confidence and openness on the part of the provider. To be like, I’m going to show up with what I have, I’m going to directly teach important information. And then I’m just going to let it flow and see what happens. And try to like embed that into what the parents are coming in with. And sometimes if the parents are coming in with, I don’t know, something unrelated or something that’s distracting the group we’re coming in with, that’s a whole other thing. But meeting parents where they’re at and give them the information. Sometimes it’s not even the sometimes it’s forming the relationship and giving them the information later down the road or something because sometimes they come in and they want the information, but maybe there’s a lot going on, the kids actually access it. Ayelet: I love what… you keep using the words “building relationship.” And that is such a key piece of this work, right, of the work of parent coaching. The work of helping to, as a provider of any kind of practitioner create a space, both physical and emotional for building family capacity. And it starts with relationship. So tell me a little bit about, to you, what the importance of building community, especially within small groups is all about? To you, what is the value of that? How does that play out in your business, and in your life? Building an Inclusive Community For New Families Lindsay: I’m sort of serving two very different populations in the space, and building community among all of them. The one that was first on my radar was the neurodivergent kids who are in private therapy and whose parents are shuttling them from appointment to appointment. And they may not have anyone else in their sphere who has any kids in therapy or with disabilities. And then to me, it was like a no brainer of they need to be together! I see them on Facebook talking to each other. I know there’s a deep, for a lot of them have shared with me, a deep loneliness or isolation or fear of going out into spaces they don’t know are welcoming. For me, that group was like, of course, I’m going to form groups and bring them together so they can talk about resources. Compare therapists, sort of being able to talk about the day to day experience of bringing their kid to all these things and experiencing early intervention and all this. And then the other group I’m bringing together is just families of kids birth to three, which was on my radar, but wasn’t because I was like, oh, there’s so many “moms groups” and certain areas in the Bay Area there’s a lot of coming together of families and meeting up at parks and they’re sort of creating their own connections. But I made the physical space, and they’re all coming and joining together as well in the space, and they’re all showing up! A lot of them are utilizing the space to ask questions about development. And what I knew but didn’t know for sure was who’s giving them the information about development just as their kids are developing? And I talked to a lot of them and they’re like, Yeah, my pediatrician gives me five minutes, or all the other parents just tell me, Oh, don’t worry about it and move on. Or there’s just people have expressed to me regardless of whether their kid needs any private services or is typical developing at this point, they want access to the information. That community is being formed, as well, in the space at the same time, which is a lot. But essentially, the community is being formed around parents gaining access to information and parents coming together, because they care about their children, and they’re nervous, and they want to know more. And that’s just bringing them together. And the people who are joining are all these, like, really nice people, too. I tell everybody, because I ran the space as a membership. And then the groups are a weekly thing you commit to for a period of time. And most people who join groups are like really nice people, like they want connection. Ayelet: Other people who want community and connection. Lindsay: Yes, It’s a really lovely thing to see them come together and chat and they look at each other’s kids and kind of go hmmm, what does another kid’s parents kids look like? And how do they parent and they kind of like see each other. And so I think I’m really gonna keep building into sort of that Birth to Three, these developmental play groups and doing catch all developmental groups, because people don’t have access, and they just want to be among their peers talking about their daily experience of parenting. Ayelet: I’m curious, what do you think? Or do you know, what would you or your clients describe as the value of the space to your business? What problem does it solve? What challenges does it help them to solve? Lindsay: Well, groups, for whatever reason, feel out of reach for a lot of people, I don’t know, in this area, some of the groups that are provided are like once a week at a very specific time only, and people can’t access it. Or it’s through a clinic that you have to already be a member of this kind of thing. So I’m having my hands out with lots of groups. And it’s like, Okay, here’s all these groups, try out the ones that speak to you that support you as a parent. So that’s one thing. Then a lot of people describe, I’ve heard things about it being an oasis, and it being this really safe space. Because most of the space is enclosed. So sometimes with big open parks and families feel like they can’t, they don’t feel safe with their kids running around. And then this items that I’ve picked in the space are all, to me, really enriching and developmentally exciting, because I put in there a lot of open ended toys and have this one item that’s it’s like a bucket, plastic bucket. Parents will be like, What do I do with this? And I’m like, Oh, give it to your kid, see what they do with it? Because there is no answer to that question. What do you do with a plastic bucket? Put it on your head, sit on it, pretend like you’re a turtle. Ayelet: Roll it around. Yeah, yeah. Lindsay: And there’s 500 things you can do with it. And I’m sure if that item was in a department store, they would walk right past it, because it doesn’t seem like it does anything. So a lot of the toys people are blown away by seeing what their kids do just with the items themselves. And then I think the space is also just Yeah, creating this ongoing connection to other nice people who… yeah people are so nice, who just want to stay connected to other nice parent people. Because we all know that making mom or dad friends with kids is really hard, so this space is really fostering that relationship. And then I just made everybody a Facebook group because they were wanting to talk to each other. And if they’re too nervous to exchange phone numbers, I was like, Okay, here’s a group for you, go talk to each other so that you can make playdates with each other and talk to each other. Creating an Inclusive Space that Centers Neurodivergent Kids Ayelet: I’m curious to hear what measures have you taken… other than, of course, making a space available for group therapy for kiddos who are maybe neurodivergent, for instance, but like what measures have you taken to make this space inclusive, accessible to lots of different groups of people? Lindsay: It is blowing my mind calling something inclusive, sometimes it just draws neurodivergent kids, because to find a space that is accommodating of your child, if they have any special needs, it is impossible to find. But then also, I’m drawing in all of these neurotypical kids too. And I think why it’s working… It’s because one, I made it really beautiful, like the space is pretty and aesthetically pleasing. And I do feel like there’s something to that around everybody feeling like their kid is cared for and given something beautiful. I don’t know. That’s kind of a weird thing. I thought about all my experience of working with kids and my own son who is a highly sensitive kid and thinking about in a large space, how can I think up every possible accommodation, whether it’s communication, or sensory processing, or wayfinding. Or I’ve thought about all of these things and talk to other OTs especially, and tried to figure out, how do I make the space feel really clear so that kids and parents know what to expect, but also exciting to them? And I will say the one thing that I think makes it inclusive is that I really focused on the parents when I was building the space and I feel like that’s, most places, eh… do they care? Like, they try a little bit but they give parents benches that are like far away from where the kids are playing and stuff. And because I made it beautiful and comfortable for parents, I’ve heard a lot of things around them feeling like they’re enjoying it themselves, which I think then allows them to relax in the space because they also know that we’re able to be with any of their kids kind of whatever their kid shows up with. Ayelet: You’ve mentioned this thing about how your space is beautiful, feels good. Why is that important to you, specifically? Lindsay: I really enjoyed the idea that the space is for parents as well. Yeah. So when we think of typical children’s spaces, they got like really bright primary colors. And they have this sort of like hyper whimsy to it. And I don’t even know if kids actually even like that, that much> I want raising a child to feel like you don’t have to go to these like really dingy, overly bright places, you know? I want it to be a positive sensory experience for all people. So like keeping it minimal, keeping the lights at a certain brightness, thinking about the music that’s being played. I had an employee that was putting on Kidz Bop, and I was like, friend, the music is for the adults, the music is not for the children. We’re putting on cool indie rock here, or like jazz or soul. Because I want the parents to feel like… if I could relax parents and make parents feel comfortable, we’ve all done our job. Ayelet: All the other things that you have created about the space are for the kids, but this part is actually for the adults. Lindsay: Yeah, and the space used to be a tech office. So it was like this open air and had these really high ceilings, beautiful lights. And I was like… this is for children. And my landlord was like, What are you talking about? Like we made this for tech workers. And I was like, No, this… I have a room that was a phone booth for them. And I turned it into like my sensory lightroom, my quiet room. So I put in, you know, lights and beanbags. And a basket of fidgets and squish mellows and stuff, and people lose their minds over that room and then go replicate it in their own homes. And it’s just… my own home doesn’t look like that. But like let me create a space in which you come into it, and you feel like Ah, wow, this is so lovely to be here. Ayelet: Yeah, I also feel like and I don’t want to put words into your mouth. But I feel like there’s a thing around a space that is for kids with special needs, kids who are neurodivergent. And that many of those spaces are not thought about. There’s not a lot of thought that goes into it other – than other than they’re doing about, we are – right, we are doing a job here. We need to fix this child, but you are thinking about so much more than that! And that’s so important. And that is quite unique about what you do. Lindsay: Yes, I hate most clinics. Ayelet:  It doesn’t feel clinical That’s what it is. Right? Like that’s a big… it feels like a space you want to be in, like you said. Everyone Benefits from Physical Accommodations to Make a Space More Inclusive Lindsay: I’m aware of the experience, these people are my customers, too. So it’s like, I’m aware of the experience they’re having. And I want it to feel positive for them, and relaxing for them. So if I make a clinic in which the hallways are bare, there’s fluorescent lighting, there’s no signage anywhere. The toys are all hidden way up on a shelf, and you can’t access them, and you’ve got this tiny table and chairs, a kid looks at that and is like, Get me out of here immediately! Being in that space is like a soul crusher. I’ve been in those, I’ve worked in those. They are hard to motivate and feel good in. It gives the parents a feeling to have, they’re given a little children’s chairs to sit in. They’re not given like a regular sized chair, or they’re not given a space at all. They’re in the waiting room. But just the thought that we put towards parents enjoying the space and feeling comfortable, to me says a lot, and lets them know that they are part of the experience. And that it’s not just about the kids getting therapized or whatever. I haven’t fully thought through it because it’s like happening in real time. I’m three months into the business, and it is the most inclusive space I’ve ever seen, experienced so far, and still unsure how it’s happening. Ayelet: Well, I mean, I think I mean, I could give you my two cents about why I think… I think you you use the language of inclusivity. Right, you’ve created a space that is open, easy to navigate, you talked about how you created a physical space that is safe, for not only kids who don’t have sensory needs, who don’t have any additional needs, but you’ve put the more marginalized segments of your community of families at the forefront. They’re centered in your space. So whether it’s about the physical boundaries of the space, whether it’s about the lighting, and how much stuff is available, and where. You pointed to things that you did to help people navigate through and where they could go, they know automatically this is for them. Lindsay: Yes, I’ve heard a lot about how inclusion is for everybody, and that we often think of all of these accommodations as only serving neurodivergent kids. But actually it’s benefiting everybody, I feel like! I do this whole pitch, especially with the neurotypical families because I often get nervous about if there’s ever a situation and they get an item thrown at them or their kid gets bit. I want them to know that we don’t kick kids out. We don’t do punishment. We explain to you and we support you, but you know all the parents we support your style of parenting and where your kid is currently, like behaviorally developmentally. And so if that stuff happens, I’m so sorry, but like, I’m not gonna “side with you,” quote unquote. Like I’m, I’m here for everybody. And so I really try to hammer that home to our neurotypical families who actually those kids sometimes end up having some delays and then they do go into therapy, right. But I, like you said, first and foremost are my neurodiverse, like that is number one. And then everybody else. Sometimes I’m like, Oh, you can hang with this? Okay, cool! I think we sometimes assume they won’t. Sometimes I assumed that parents of… every so often I’ll have like a 15 month old come in, and there’ll be some four year olds, and there’ll be tussling, and the family will get really scared and take their kid out. And that’s totally that feels scary for you. And that parenting style wants something a little more contained, a little more, maybe consistent, and maybe no mixed ages, something like that. And I’m not really providing that. And I wish them well in finding what they’re looking for. But I’m definitely not going to… I was apologetic. If a kid gets hurt, or if a family feels scared. I’m very sorry about that. But also, we’re mixing it up over there, where you know, all manner of kids and families are present there. And all those experiences are welcome. And I’m not going to say, “please, leave” if your kid is a thrower, that’s their style at the moment. Or if you are on the phone the whole time while you’re in the play space as a parent, like whatever, you know? Ayelet: Well, I actually want to say something just to clarify, because actually, you are not for everybody. And that’s very important. Because you said out loud, you said, you know, I am inclusive to everybody, but actually not true. And that’s so it’s such an important point. Because I think we we talk about what inclusivity is, is well that’s it’s a space for everyone. But no, it’s actually not! Like if, you’re… if you have to have some exclusion to be inclusive. What you’re excluding is the idea that actually, in order to center children who may have more physical needs, who may have more cognitive variances with what the quote unquote “typical” age is, or whatever… you’re, you’re not centering the kid the the quote, unquote, “typically developing” families. And that is a huge differentiator of what your space actually is. And I think, I will say out loud that I think that that’s a big part of what people are benefiting from. Lindsay: Yeah, it just surprises me because, I just thought once you make a space quote, unquote, “inclusive,” primarily, you’re serving Autistic kids, or you’re primarily serving like one specific population of kids. And it often kind of just builds that set because there’s a lot of fear and misinformation around inclusion or around behavior or communication from parents of neurotypical children. And you’re right, I really don’t, I welcome in those people to try it out. Everyone gets a first visit. And if they walk away being upset because a child has shoes in the play space, because that child refused to take their shoes off, like, bye! That is such a minor thing. Who cares? Every so often I’ll have those people, because I’m in a fancy area. And I’ll have those people who are like, you know, wanting manners and rules and safeness. And sure, that would be nice. But like, we talked about earlier, it’s structured chaos, we’re up for that. And I’ve worked with all the employees, I have to support structured chaos. And for those people that can’t hang with that, best of luck to you, see you later. Ayelet:  Right. Do you have those kinds of, sort of community agreements at the forefront in your space? Lindsay: Yes. Like a waiver is all about, we’re here to support if your kids struggling, which is, I think different than a lot of play spaces. A lot of play spaces… I ran across this place recently that was like said there Montessori and Reggio Emilia. And then they had like 500 rules of what you can’t do in the space. And I was like, I don’t think you’re actually adhering to what you think you are. No, climbing up the slide. No climbing the walls. It’s like, of course, we all want those things. But you can’t be inclusive and have 500 rules. So yeah, when people walk in… I also just got certified with Maisie Soetantyo‘s Better Community, she does a sensory integration and neurodiversity-friendly spaces. So right now, she’s going to people and supporting their creating a physical space that’s inclusive. So I try all my languaging to be around to then… I had an Instagram post recently. It was like, here’s our play space rules, and then it was blank. And then at the bottom it was like no, no play space rules. So my hope is that people look at that. And if they go like, aaah! I don’t like that! Then like, don’t come. I mean, or come see how it goes. Ayelet: That’s incredible. I know we’ve talked a lot about what it is for other families, what you’re creating for other families what you want it to be for other families, but what about for you? What has all of this done for you? Creating A Space For Renegade Therapists Who Want To Focus on Parent Education Lindsay: But yeah. It just… I feel like I’ll probably cry, but I feel like for my whole career as a speech therapist, I felt like I was the outlier. Like everybody on a certain day of the week would make crafts for the week ahead for their kids. They would make these like crafts things and it was all thematic and it was all around holidays. I would always be the lady twiddling my thumbs in the corner. Like what? I’m not doing that! I’m doing routines based! I’m not making crafts, and I felt like an outlier all the time. I always wondered, am I in the right field? Am I doing the right work? And I always walked away feeling like, I wished I could do more. And I wished I could do it in the way that I believed in it. And I made the space but then I chose myself not to do the direct service. So there was this big fear of like, are there other people in this area who believe in the style of practice that I believe in from multiple disciplines? And like all these people showed up, and they’re doing it! And I’m, like, blown away, because in our fields, we’ve created communities around preschool SLPs, medical SLPs. We’re like the renegade SLPs like, we’re like the… I feel like we’re like the outlier SLPs who don’t subscribe to the regular style that most people are practicing. Part of me feels like happy that I’m surrounded by other people who are believing and practicing the same style. But also that I can have an OT and a music therapist, and a speech therapist and an early childhood educator, all promoting parent coaching and promoting Routines Based interaction through groups. We’re solving all the world like, I feel like we’re solving all the world’s problems, you know what I mean? Like, it just it feels so awesome. And I see so much possibility because of all these other people in different disciplines who also want to support parents. And I really hope that it then changes the dynamic of how we treat families in our fields. Ayelet: Yeah, well, and I want to be perfectly clear to to our listeners, you, yourself, are Learn With Less® trained, certified to provide Learn With Less® groups. But what your play space is providing is not just Learn With Less® groups, it’s actually a lot of different kinds of therapy within a group setting and other play based type groups within a play space that is actually very much formulated around the concepts of Learn With Less®. Lindsay: Yes, and I send everybody to you because I don’t know of a ton in the OT world, or in the early childhood education world, speech world, some of these, like specialized worlds. There aren’t a lot of people doing this work. So I always send people to you to get that you know that information. Ayelet: Will you explicitly name some of the things that the program has helped you to do? Because I think it’s really interesting. Your stories, especially is, it’s not unique, actually, in that lots of people come into the program, the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training and Certification Program thinking, I’m going to do this in order to lead Learn With Less® groups. And of course, that’s the ultimate experience that most people have. But there’s also, oftentimes, it ends up opening up a much bigger vision of what’s quote unquote “possible” or what someone wants to do, for a variety of reasons that I think actually you could speak to better than I perhaps, and I’d love your perspective on that. The Value of Using Flexible Resources: Serve Your Community In The Way It Needs to Be Served Lindsay: Yes, well, I want to thank you for that. Because most packaged programs, you have to be very prescriptive about how you offer them. So like I had somebody recently asked me about some other program, and I was like, no, because you have to do it, you know, A to Z, the way they told you how to do it. And that, again, creates this feeling of you can’t individualize it to the families. And so, I really appreciate your flexibility and ability to allow us to use the curriculum you created in the way that it serves our communities, you know, so for me working through the modules at the same time I was putting together my business plan. And so as I was doing some of the modules, like around adult learning, around serving diverse family identities, around sort of clarified, like, you have the four pillars, and they feel very clean and easy to digest for parents. And all of these pieces are things that I really took with me when I thought about the business plan. And then in who I’m looking for, from other disciplines to run groups. So like, believe me, I’ve tried all the Learn With Less® certified people. They live just far enough away from me that like I mean, and at some point, I will run Learn With Less®, that will happen. Right now. I’m not doing anything, oh my god. Ayelet: You’re building something big here. Lindsay: Holy moly. Yeah. But like the people who have done your training, I’m like, Please come, please come. Because I know they’ve got it too. And then those people that haven’t, I’m telling them about what you do. And I’m asking them to really boost up their, especially like parent coaching, their sort of awareness of counseling, and parent support, and group dynamics, because that’s the piece that everybody is at varying stages of comfort around. And that’s the thing I want to say is like the most, most, most, most most important. Ayelet: I mean, is that something that you feel like you benefited from the program with? Lindsay: Yes, 100% because there was nobody else there’s only one other lady in the field who’s talking about it, Carrie Ebert, and I’ve done your training and her training and really brought all of this stuff together because nobody taught me this in graduate school. I didn’t have a counseling class. I didn’t learn about adult learners. It was all from my own direct experience. The Benefits of A Parent Coaching System: You Are On the Right Track My own experience as being a parent and directly doing Learn With Less® gave me the confidence to, I think, one believe that within a system, we can do parent coaching, right? That because you’ve created it into a system that it feels like, Okay, I’m not like totally off base here with this parent thing, because it was always just an inkling in my mind. You put visuals and words to a topic that I have been struggling with for all these years in my work, and I felt as if I couldn’t practice it, because nobody was talking about it. And it was like, does anyone else care about this topic and like nobody else was talking about it. So when you put together the curriculum, you’re directly talking about it, and you’re telling us how important it is. And it just gave me the feeling of I’m on the right track. And that there is value in how I want to practice Ayelet: And it being like parent coaching, routines based intervention, everyday items. Those kinds of things, yeah. Lindsay: Yes, yes, those things I just didn’t see it being talked about in our field. And so the way you put it together, it just buoyed my instincts around it. And it made me be like, Okay, no, I’m actively going to practice it. And you wrote it in a way that it was like, and this is how you actively practice that, you know, in a group setting. Ayelet: Yeah, it’s very interesting to me that you’ve said a couple of times, there’s this sort of overarching theme here in this conversation about feeling like the outlier, feeling like not everybody is thinking or talking this way. But knowing deep in your bones that this feels right. And it’s really interesting, because this is a conversation that happens over and over again, in our Learn With Less® community is like, I always felt like this. I always knew innately that this is true, but I never felt like I had the words or the framework. So I’m just curious, because we’ve talked a lot about the community you’re creating right, in your business. But looking reflexively, of what is the value of our Learn With Less facilitator community for you? What has that been? And what does that continue to be for you? Why Have A Community of Other Professionals? Build Relationships That Buoy Your Own Beliefs Lindsay: It’s so fun to see those people succeeding in their own areas with this practice. Whether it’s their private practice, or their Learn With Less® groups, because they show up talking about the wins, and they come bringing the challenges and questions. And of course, a lot of those questions are questions we all have… around advertising, or logistics, or things that happen in a group setting that who else would we go to, to ask these questions, you know? So it’s this ongoing relationship. Those people, I feel as if there’s this unspoken agreement we’ve all made. That we all get it. And so I really enjoy knowing they’re out there. And then knowing that we can come together for both positive and negative, you know, sharing and that you facilitate, you know, weekly us coming together ongoing, and it just, it really, I wish they all lived near me. And they were all we all just like ran groups together. You should make like an Institute, where you like down in the, you know, down where you are, make like a Learn With Less® Institute and have like, everybody running things there. Ayelet: There’s a there’s some eventual potential for that. That would be amazing. Lindsay: Yeah. Yeah! I mean, when you look at the landscape, it’s it’s needed. And there’s so many people that tell me like, oh, I want to do what you’re doing. I was thinking about that. And then don’t. Many – most don’t. You know, like doing groups I’ve heard most people say they’ve wanted to and then don’t. So there’s also something about the cohort that that are really brave people who are like, not fearless, but like willing to step out and try things, that there’s so many people in our fields who might also feel this way and just let that live. And don’t speak to that and just continue in these systems and not, not practice the way they believe, that it you know, would be effective. Ayelet: How to practice the way you know is right. Renegade SLP, Lindsay. Lindsay: I know seriously. I wish – I’ve heard every so often of people who were like, I wanted to do a group. So I talked to my so and so and they let me do a group. And every so often, I’ll hear that. But for the most part, you got to step out on your own and do it. And I see the success. And it just keeps me going, seeing like, seeing Carly and her popularity, and Allie, and Rachel, and seeing how they’re building community in their specific areas, and continually trying out new things, and developing it and configuring it. And it’s just this wonderful, ongoing thing. We’re all trying out. Like there’s nobody around to like so we’re just comparing to each other because there’s nobody else doing what we’re doing. Ayelet:  Yeah. Well, it is so interesting, too Lindsay because I think, you know, there’s… you could take Learn With Less® and use it as like a business in a box, if you want to. There are people doing that. And also you can take Learn With Less® and then make it fit into whatever you want it to. Whatever you want it to be, and then you have this consistent support, framework group, cohort, community, and sounding board of others who are doing similarly, like you said, brave things. I want to know” do you feel like you’ve always been this confident? And what help like imposter syndrome that you inevitably have experienced to some degree? What’s been helpful? Working Through Imposter Syndrome to Build Confidence You Can Create An Impactful Parent Education Business Lindsay: Well, I will say I spent all of 2021 sitting in my house, talking to business coaches and mentors, doing your training, doing all this stuff to build up my confidence. Because one thing that I always value is having mentors or people who have already done certain pieces of what I’ve done and can support the ongoingness. Have I always had this confidence? I have my husband’s, my husband’s in tech. So I definitely was able to, like have the resources to be like, I want to do this, you know? Yeah, without the fear of… but I did a big thing. Yeah. Not everybody has to do that. But even just step out and say like, I have something of value. And I think you would all really love it. And from what I’ve seen from myself, and everybody that’s done Learn With Less®, sometimes it’s an immediate response, like yes, and sometimes it’s like a slow build. But either way, the need is there. And I think we’re all being shown that the work we’re doing is valuable and is successful. No, I haven’t always had this confidence, though. I think I just… 2020 just… I got real tired. Being in your house. And like sitting on Zoom, being told that the school districts are building an airplane while it’s flying, and you have to just sit there while they figure it out. All that kind of stuff. I was like, I’m outta here Best of luck to you. Ayelet: Like you said, you had certain privileges that allowed you to do that, for sure. Yes. And and also, you went for it. Lindsay: Yeah. And I think I just got tired of it. I think I just got I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, where it was, okay, this feels like a turning point where I can make a choice for myself of what I want to do. And so I started first with private practice. I went from district to private practice work. And then I did a couple groups just like informal like playdate things. And those all went really well. And then I just decided to go for it. Some people have asked me like, oh, did you get like, did you know that this was a need in your community? Or like, did you talk to people? And I was like, a little bit but I just had an instinct that this was a thing that was needed. And I just like went did it, and all the people who had done those playdates with us, like a year ago, are now members in the space doing groups. They’re there with us. Which is so cool. And then of course, like lots of podcasts, listening to lots of podcasts of people and getting that feeling of Yeah, I’m gonna trust my instincts. Yeah, I’m gonna do this thing. You know. Having those people that kind of support that little voice of like, I want to try this thing. What do you think, you know. Ayelet: What are some podcasts that you would recommend to others who are looking for that? Lindsay: For a second, I was listening to Independent Clinician, with Jena Castro-Casbon. They were all talking about stepping out and doing something big. Ayelet: Absolutely. Yeah. Lindsay: I have yours, first. I have yours right there, right on the top there. And then I had done during 2021, I also did my DIR Floortime 201 course. So I started listening a lot to Affect Autism, Two Sides of the Spectrum with Meg Proctor, just listening to other people’s voices who also were stepping out and, and trusting their gut on how they wanted to change the system. And then seeing their popularity grow and the interest in what they were doing grow. And so I think seeing you all building these communities and this interest, I think that was also very helpful. Ayelet: Like you said, it’s so important to have mentors who have gone before you in some way. There’s nothing else like the value of that, for sure. Yeah. That’s awesome. Lindsay, this has been awesome, first of all, and second of all, what would you say to someone who is considering Learn With Less®, considering becoming a Learn With Less® facilitator? Someone who may or may not be ready to step out and take a giant risk, right? It doesn’t have to look like it does with you, as we have all kinds of other examples of other licensed Learn With Less® facilitators on the Learn With Less® podcast, but what would you say to somebody who’s thinking about it? You Don’t Have to Build Your Dream From Scratch: Use Existing Resources to Expand Your Impact on Families in Your Community Lindsay: Well, I love that idea that like you are, you are open to having people use the curriculum in the way that it supports them. So I feel like paying the money, getting access to the curriculum, and the modules, not only boosted my confidence in that my intuition was right about how I wanted to support families. But then also giving me a visual and being able to see your demos, and then connecting to the other people. I feel like because we’re able to use it in the way that we’d like and it’s flexible, it’s another really big toolbox that is added, that helps me feel like I don’t have to make it from scratch. Because making something from scratch… it’s really hard. And if it doesn’t have to be that way. No, I really feel like if the idea… because initially my idea was I am going to directly run Learn With Less® classes. That was my… but then as I was going through the modules, I was like, Oh, I’m still going to run them. And also… like, holy moly, this is, this is everything that’s – when I would listen to it or hear it. It would just like ping ping! It was like a right connection in the beliefs I had internally. That just felt so great, because there aren’t many systems that I went through in graduate school or that any other big box stuff that I’d walk away being like, yes! I’d walk away with a lot of questions and feeling like oh, I’ll have to take some of it and leave the other parts of it, which meant I couldn’t practice it. So while I’m not yet running the groups, I think having access to the curriculum and having access to the community has really supported my ongoing… clarifying what I’m doing over at Spirited Play Labs! Because you gave it words, and you gave it visuals that really helped me a lot. Ayelet: I need to know what visuals helped you, so that I can make more of them! Lindsay: I remember, you always include a lot of photos. And that really helps me as a learner. And I’m just remembering some of the slides in which you had the picture, and then you were talking. And then it was always like these really clear bullet points. I don’t know, because because listening to your podcast also was impactful for me, but like seeing the slides and having the images, and having the demo videos and then having other people’s demo videos. And then Oh, my God, and then you brought in like other people who could speak to, like pieces of it? Yes. I’m a very visual person. So having all of those, yeah, I just like loved them. Ayelet: That’s great. That’s super helpful. Lindsay, thank you, for your time and energy today, and for being brave and confident and amazing. Lindsay: Yes. Thank you for doing what you do, as well. And building all of this. Man, you built a big thing. And it’s really impactful and meaningful. And I’m so glad that you’re sharing it with everybody. Because also, I know we’re ending, but I have met a lot of people who are running playgroups that like don’t talk about it and don’t offer what they’re doing to anybody. So it’s very quiet. They’re not on social media. I’ve met a lot of parent coaching people who are way behind the scenes, to the point that you cannot access what they’re doing. And they’re so busy, and they’re so involved in their communities directly, which is great, but then they aren’t making any large scale changes, because they’re only solely focused on their day to day work. Yeah, which I understand it. But I really appreciate the system you made and the curriculum you made because it allows us access to it, which I felt like I couldn’t find elsewhere. So, thank you. Ayelet: Awesome. Thank you! It’s, I mean, that is why! That’s the why, for me, you have your why, I have my why, which is make a big impact make a big splash. All right. Well, thank you so much, Lindsay. This was such a pleasure to chat with you. And where can people find you who are looking to learn more about you and your business? Lindsay: Yeah, social media. All of our handles are Spirited Play Labs, the website is spiritedplaylabs.com. Ayelet: Lindsay, thank you so much. What a pleasure. Lindsay: Thank you! Ayelet: How about you, dear listener? Does this work call to you? Are you curious about expanding the impact you can have on new families in your community with a high quality, evidence-based program that will have them coming back again and again? You can discover more about the Learn With Less® facilitator training and certification program by heading to learnwithless.com/certification today. The post Creating Inclusive Spaces For Families, with Lindsay Teitelbaum appeared first on Learn With Less.

Creating Inclusive Communities for Families Who May Hold LGBTQ Identities On this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, we sat down with Mason Aid, an LGBTQ educator focused on inclusion and how to take the next step in becoming an ally. We discussed: Mason’s background, and how they got into the work they’re doing today A few basic definitions of useful vocabulary, such as pronouns, non-binary, cisgender, and the difference between sexual identity and gender identity Various things Mason has had to consider because of their own gender identity as a non-binary parent Mason’s suggestions for families to consider when it comes to supporting their own children as they start to build awareness of their own gender identities Top tips for parents, caregivers, and educators who want to create an inclusive, supportive community for young children A few of Mason’s favorite resources to share with families or helping professionals who want to support others who are questioning or who are coming out Helpful Resources to Acknowledge For This Episode: Mason’s Compassionate Coming Out Guide: resources and tips on how to respond, and how to deal with how you might be feeling if a child or family member comes out to you about their gender or sexual identity Queer Kid Stuff YouTube Channel Pop N’ Olly YouTube Channel GLSEN, for educators and parents of school-aged children PFLAG, Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays The Trevor Project, supporing LGBTQIA+ youth Everywhere Babies, by Susan Meyers Free Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint: what are the four major areas of early development… and how can you use the pillars of Learn With Less® to support that learning, using the time, energy, and materials you already have?! Download our free blueprint today. Connect With Us: Mason: Website / Facebook / Instagram / LinkedIn Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of the Episode Ayelet: Welcome to Learn With Less® I am so happy to have Mason Aid, they/he. Mason is an LGBTQ educator focused on the greater Midwest, who loves to talk about inclusion and how to take the next baby step in becoming an ally. Whether you consider yourself an ally or simply want to learn more about the LGBTQ community, they share passionately and in a disarming manner. Mason lives in Columbia, Missouri with their five year old daughter, and loves going on hikes and playing with Perler Beads. Perler Beads, my very favorite thing, we all know that we buy them for our, air quotes, for our children… but those are for me. Mason: Oh no, I own it, I buy them for myself, I have a giant Batman set right now that’s like gonna make a Batman that’s like 15 inches tall. Ayelet: I love it. That’s so fun. Mason: I’m so excited. It’s like meditation, you know, it’s my self care. It’s that, you know, I can’t sit still and meditate. But I can sit still and focus only on putting the right bead in the right spot for hours. And it just is like my Zen moment. Ayelet: Yeah, and that precision and focus. It’s a beautiful, beautiful way to do it. I love it. Mason: It is! Ayelet: Mason, thank you so much for coming on today and giving us your time and energy. Obviously, I read your fancy pants bio, but I would love it if you would just sort of, in your own, words, tell us about your background, and how you got into the work that you’re doing today. Mason: Yeah, so once upon a time, in about 2002, I was a conservative Christian homophobe, who didn’t know that they were in the closet and had no idea that I belonged to the LGBT community. I just knew I didn’t fit anywhere else. Fast forward to 2008, and I came to the University of Missouri where for the first time in my life, I saw LGBT people happy, healthy, holding hands, living successful lives. And I had that Oh, expletive moment, where I knew that I had to do something about this. And that I had to address my queerness… which, queer is a word that I like to use for myself, but is one that is still being reclaimed by much of the community and is better not to use if you’re unsure that someone identifies that way. I like to give that disclaimer because if someone says, Oh yeah, Mason’s queer, I’d be like, Heck, yeah. But for some people, it would be like, that’s really offensive. So we have to be careful with that word. It is being reclaimed and is being used more and more within the community, but if you’re not in the community, it’s better just to not use it unless, you know, someone specifically identifies that way. Ayelet: That’s really helpful. Thank you for that acknowledgement. And as you said… terms, words, the way that we use vocabulary, it’s constantly changing, you know, as a speech-language pathologist, you know, like, language is an adjustment always. And so I love, I love just that distinguishing piece of like, who are the the quote, unquote, “right” people to be using certain terminology, and what… we always want to know, like the history of a word and what connotations it has. So thank you for that. That’s awesome. Accepting One’s Sexuality and Gender Identity Mason: Yeah. So I came out in 2008, and felt like I had three paths in front of me. I could either deny my sexuality and marry a man, live happily ever after, except it wouldn’t be so happy for either person in the relationship. I could deny my sexuality and be celibate, or I could meet someone and marry a wonderful woman and have the life that I always thought I would… just with a woman. And as I looked at my options, and as I pondered what would be the most in authenticity… and you know, for me at the time, what I believed God wanted me to do, I came down to the solution that these are my three choices. And if I marry a man, that wouldn’t be right, that’s not fair to him. That’s not fair to me. If I were to try to stay celibate, it would be a difficult thing to do, and would not be good for me in the long run. You know, my mental health would suffer being alone. And so I settled on, you know, okay, well, I’m going to pursue a relationship, I’m going to follow this path. It’s been great. You know, I met a wonderful woman, and we got married, we’re currently separated, but things are still good there. And I have the most amazing five year old daughter. So I got into this work in about 2013, I was asked to volunteer with Prism, which is an LGBTQ teen group here in Columbia. And through my work with Prism, I got asked to do a presentation at a local small town high school on trans issues. And I was like, sure, why not? I can do that. Whatever. And I fell in love. I fell in love with communicating with people what I had to learn, myself. Here are the specifics of the LGBT community, here’s what all the letters mean. Here’s how you navigate this world that, you know, things are changing. I’m not that old. And I am one of the oldest non-binary people I know, because language is changing and changed in the 2000s. Ayelet: Yeah, and continues to change every day. Mason: Yes, exactly. And so I just love talking to people who haven’t had exposure to the LGBT community and they don’t hate people, but they just don’t know and are unfamiliar. That’s, that’s my happy place. Because it’s talking to myself. It’s talking to my parents, it’s talking to the people I grew up with. It’s that simple. Ayelet: I just, I love how you put that because it’s, it’s a conversation, which is what you and I are doing right here. And it happens to be being recorded so that other people can hear about it, right? Mason: Exactly. Ayelet: Yeah. Awesome. Well, when you and I chatted about the topics that we wanted to focus on for today’s conversation, we kind of discussed the fact that like, we would love to talk about your experience as a non-binary parent. And since this is number one, actually a huge topic. Yeah, there is no specific question there. Right. And number two, a topic that actually many of our listeners, as we just discussed, may have quite varied degrees of knowledge, you know, their own personal experience with or understanding of, I was hoping that we could first start with a few basic definitions of terms, right. So number one, we opened up with your pronouns. So Mason, could you share? What is the value of sharing pronouns? Why Do We Share Pronouns? Mason: So that’s an entire podcast episode by itself, right? So the short version is, for me, when she her pronouns are used, it’s like a punch in the arm, like a gentle, playful punch, you know, I know the intention is not ill will I know that most people don’t mean to hurt me with it. But when you get gently punched… Ayelet: Just to clarify when she/her pronouns are used to refer to you. Mason: Correct. Ayelet: Ok, thank you. Mason: And when that gentle punch happens hundreds of times a day, it gets… it hurts, you know, it’s not, it’s not the one instance that is hurtful. It’s the repetition. I worked at Starbucks for six years and got ma’amm’ed, and she/her-ed every day, for hours a day, and it just drained me, just emotionally, wore at me, because… it’s not being seen accurately. When I was coming out and figuring out gender, I had a lot of people tell me, Oh, you’re, you’re a butch lesbian. I’m fabulous. Like, if anything, I am a feminine man. I am not the stereotype of Butch. And that language doesn’t resonate with me, it just doesn’t fit. That’s not who I am. And I, I find myself landing in this space that is both feminine and masculine. You know, I’m never going to try to masculinize my speech patterns, because I love the way I talk, you know, I’m working on speaking with a lower voice, because I’ve been on testosterone for a year. And I need to because it keeps cracking, because I’m still so used to talking in a higher register. So that’s a thing. But like, pronouns matter. And using correct pronouns is a small step of allyship that has a huge impact on people’s lives. And for me, I use they/he, because they’re both right. So if they is weird for you, and you just can’t quite wrap your mind around singular “they,” great – use “he.” And for me, both are right. But for some people, it’s only they and we need to practice getting they right, which is a struggle. I still sometimes use the wrong pronouns for myself, and I have been out for a decade and using they/them or he/him pronouns for a decade. So you have all the grace in the world. The person you’re referring to may not have capacity to give you the grace that you need. But that doesn’t mean that you’re a failure, or that you can’t do anything, rightt. It just means that that person doesn’t have capacity at that moment for you to be using the language that hurts them. It doesn’t mean that you’re intentionally hurting that, like there’s a distinction there that I feel like isn’t often made. That you know, while impact does override intention, intention still matters, intention still matters. Ayelet: There’s a huge shift, movement, transition into using pronouns within all kinds of spaces, right, whether we’re talking about professional spaces, social spaces, educational spaces, different kinds of community spaces. And that is important because it acknowledges and puts at the forefront that how I identify, how you identify, how I can help to correctly identify you. And again, language matters, yeah. Mason: Mm-hmm. And when allies give their pronouns, it opens up space for me to give mine and it not be so strange or weird. And I’m okay with being a little strange and weird, but I love it when someone comes up to me and says, Hey, my name is Marsha. I use she/her pronouns. And that gives me the space to say, Oh, hey, I’m Mason, I use they/he pronouns, nice to meet you. And it just, that’s the best way to figure out someone’s pronouns, if you don’t know, is to introduce yourself with yours. That’s my biggest tip is introduce yourself with your pronouns. Especially if you’re unsure of what someone’s pronouns are. Because then you’re not straight up asking, which can be awkward for both parties, but you’re putting it out there and giving them the opportunity to self disclose. Ayelet: Right, and assuming that someone else is going to self disclose just because you did is also not not a great idea, right? It’s, it’s up to every single human. Mason: Exactly. And sometimes, you know, it’s a way of saying, Hey, I’m a safe person if you feel safe. What Does it Mean to be Non-Binary? Ayelet: Yeah. Lovely. Okay, moving on to the next term that I think we should just sort of start with is the term non-binary. Mason: Yeah, so I am not a woman. I was born assigned female at birth. That’s another term that’s used in the community, that means that when I was born, the doctor looked at my genitals and said, It’s a girl. And I grew up and was like, You’re not wrong, but you’re not right, either. And, you know, I was the definition of a tomboy growing up and was never uncomfortable with being called a girl. But I was given space to be a different kind of girl. Then in fifth grade, I was bullied and started to grow my hair out, and moved on and tried to pretend to be what we define a woman to be. I was really bad at it. I tried so hard, and I was so bad at it. And then when I came out, I was like, Oh, well, I’m a man. Obviously, if I’m not a woman, I’m a man. And as I navigated that, I put on this mask of toxic masculinity that we are presented with and was… became a bro and was like, hey, what’s up, yeah. And that was just as wrong as pretending to be a woman for me. And where I have settled, for a long time where I settled was very much in the middle, was very much that I am neither a woman nor a man. Neither fits, not in the way we define them socially today. You know, which we can have a whole other conversation on the social construction of gender, like it’s a book, I’m working on it, I promise, we’ll get there. So I don’t fit with women, but I don’t fit with men either. Where do I fit? I fit somewhere else, I use the term gender queer to identify myself and honestly, as I become more comfortable with my gender identity, and with who I am, I am embracing my maleness at a level that I haven’t before. Thus using he/him pronouns in addition to they/them. Where I am now is that I am a feminine man, more than I am a masculine woman, I fit in masculinity, I dress masculine, but I am, I am femme, and I’m comfortable with that I am more comfortable with nail polish and makeup now that I’m presenting in a masculine manner than I ever was when I was pretending to be a woman. Because it feels accurate, it feels authentic, it feels like I’m being who I am, and not putting on a mask. And so that’s that’s what non-binary means to me. For some people, they don’t have a gender. For some people, they see themselves as both male and female. Some people see themselves as something entirely different. And it’s different for each person. I choose to call myself non-binary because I don’t fit in traditional masculinity, I could call myself a man. And that wouldn’t be a lie. But I’m not the kind of man that we see in our, in our mind’s eye, when we picture a man. I am the fabulous gay best friend who happened to be born a woman and is straight-ish. That’s where I fit. What is the Difference Between Sexual Identity and Gender Identity Ayelet: Thank you for that. So I I’d also love to just, again, start with… because you’ve you’ve also mentioned, you came into an understanding of your own sexual identity. But we’re also obviously talking about gender identity. So I would love it Mason, if you could also just give us a little bit of your own experience, your own understanding of those two very distinct sets of social identities and help listeners who are not quite sure what that means and what the difference is, and where this word called “Cis” fits in. Mason: Yeah, it’s a new word. It’s an old word, but it’s a new word. So we often talk about the LGBTQ community. But really, we’re talking about two separate and distinct communities. We’re talking about the LGB community, which has to do with sexual orientation, AND we’re talking about the T community. And Q kind of goes in both, because L is lesbian, G is gay, B bisexual, so people who are attracted to either both genders or the opposite gender, and I use gender intentionally because there are transgender men who identify as men and the women who date and marry them are straight, because they’re marrying someone of the opposite gender, and that doesn’t negate their identity at all. Then you have gender identity, which is what’s in your heart, not what’s in your pants, you know, so often we reduce sex to biology. And when you look at it, it’s a lot more complicated than that. Intersex people exist, that’s yet another podcast episode. And, you know, we have these biological variances in what sex looks like in humans. And that’s beautiful. We also have variations in what gender looks like for humans. And that’s just as beautiful. I was born and told I was a girl and tried to be a girl, and it never fit. I came into my own and I figured out that different words aligned better for me, and different words fit me better. So I started using them. And my mental health went from really horrible to really good. In a matter of two or three years after I came out, I went from being in a really bad place to being in a really good place, because I was honoring and being authentic to who I am. Why We Need the Term Cisgender And the word cisgender is a little complicated, actually. I’ve had conversations with a friend who is a staunch ally, who I know will go to bat for me any day and she is cisgender and has had the word Cis used against her as a “you don’t understand what my life is, like you’re just cis.” And most of the time, that’s not how cisgender is used. Most of the time, it is simply if you’re not transgender, you’re cisgender… because you don’t want to use the word normal instead of transgender because that, you know, super others trans people, right? So we needed a different word for people who are not transgender, and that word is cisgender. But it’s one that is being used by someone in the trans community as a slur, which is interesting to me. Ayelet: Very interesting. Yeah. Just this idea that for people who have never had to question their gender identity, it can be a whole new world opening up for like, oh, wait, that’s, that’s something that people… that actually many people question, or do not feel comfortable with. And so the idea that, as you said, it’s not about saying normal and abnormal, right? That’s, that’s not what we’re talking about. We’re talking about a centered identity, an identity that is the “default,” at least in this culture in western American culture, as you and I both exist in. And that is not the only identity, right? And so now we’re starting with using language as a tool to help foster inclusivity and help foster identity building of lots of different kinds of people utilizing certain words that can help to distinguish instead of just center one… Mason: Experience. Ayelet: One kind of human. Yeah. Thank you, experience. Yeah. Mason: Exactly. So one question that I get asked, is, why do I make my gender identity such a big part of my life? Why do I center that so much? Why do I advocate for my pronouns so much? And the honest answer is, if I were to relocate to New York City, today, I would advocate for my Midwestern status just as staunchly as I do my my gender identity, because that is just as core and just as influential and just as powerful to me as the fact that I am genderqueer. And in a society, in a space where I am not given space to be who I am, or I’m assumed to be different from who I am, I’m going to advocate for myself. And in Columbia, Missouri, most people read me as female. And so I advocate for myself when it is safe and logical to do so, just as if I were in New York City, and someone were to say something offensive about the Midwest, I would call them out on it and say, No, that’s not actually what Midwesterners are like, it’s, it’s the same – for me. Ayelet: Yeah, thank you for that, Mason, there’s so much there. And I hope that that was helpful to people who are listening in, and who are maybe newer to this language and trying to start educating themselves. For those of you who are already in this work and in the work of allyship, or who do identify within different experiences. I feel like that’s not even great language right there! Language is Constantly Evolving – Sometimes The Words We Need Don’t Exist Yet Mason: There’s some spaces where the language just isn’t there yet. Like, there is no gender neutral, sir or ma’am. Right? It doesn’t exist. Yeah. So what do you say when you’re a polite Midwestern person? Right? I don’t know. Like, that’s an honest question! Ayelet: Yeah, there is no answer! Mason: I have googled and googled and talked to all of my friends. And everybody’s like, there just isn’t one. I don’t know that one will be created, which is the interesting part to me, you know, there is Mx in replacement of Mr. or Miss. Hmm. And the x is my formality. But there isn’t a gender neutral sir or ma’am. Ayelet: Yeah, so many so many pieces to think about! I mean, these things are changing in languages, for instance, that are gendered inherently. Like Spanish for instance, right? There are things like Latine, Latinx… There are even, I recently realized that people are utilizing the singular they in Spanish now. And that’s really, really wonderful to see. And fascinating. Mason: And Swedish has a new there’s Han, Hon, and Hen are the gendered words, to denote gender. So I believe hen is non-binary. I don’t know. It’s been a while since I was learning Swedish, so… don’t quote me on that. Ayelet: All right. Well, let’s move into the topic at hand today, a little bit more of the topic at hand today. As far as you know, at the time of this recording, you and I both have preschool-aged kids, right. And the first time we spoke, we chatted at length about how this sort of tends to be a time developmentally when kids are starting to verbalize the way that they understand gender identity. But of course, we know that the ways that we are socialized to understand these concepts or constructs start so much earlier than that. So Mason, can you tell me about some of the things that you’ve had to consider because of your gender identity over the years as a parent that stand out to you? Shaping Gender Identity Starts Before Conception Mason: I mean, it starts before conception. Do you want a boy or a girl? I want a baby. Right. And it’s so engrained and there are parents who choose to raise their kids in an un-gendered manner, which is great and not what works for my family. You know, we decided to raise our daughter as a daughter with her knowledge that she can be whomever she wants to be. And she has space to be whomever she wants to be. She is solidly cis at this point, she solidly identifies as a girl, a “gir,” she doesn’t quite have her R’s down, so it’s adorable. But I had to navigate when she was two, when we were taking a walk and almost back home and she went, “Baba, you boy or girl?” and like… she didn’t even have full sentences yet, but she knew that I didn’t fit in either male or female. And she didn’t know what to do with that. So she asked, and I was not prepared for that question yet. I was like, I know, I’m gonna have to answer it eventually. But I didn’t think it would happen at two. And, I replied with, well, Bob’s both while I was a girl, boy, and she was like, oh, okay, and we’ve finished our walk, and things moved on. And you know, as big of a part of my life as it is, it’s also not. I am a parent, just like anyone else. As a parent, I worry about my kiddo. I worry about her safety. I worry about all the things I have fun, you know, we play with Barbies, and watch Encanto on repeat. And, you know, we don’t talk about Bruno, that’s for sure. You know, I feel like talking about being a non-binary parent is just talking about being a parent. You know, we had an issue with our childcare center, where there was a book about a trans parent on the shelves of their preschool classroom. It wasn’t being used in curriculum, it was just there available for kids. And I believe five to seven families left the school because that book was there. That broke my heart. But what really empowered me was the school’s response. They didn’t pull the book, they didn’t try to placate the families, they said, okay, then this isn’t the school for you. And they took the potential financial hit. And for the next… her teachers are still wearing Pride shirts, every chance they get. And there was, this is this is my example of excellent, awkward allyship. So while this was going down, and we were not in the middle of it, but kind of like, I’m the Trans parent of the of the school. Ayelet: Accidental mascot, right. Imperfect Allyship: Start Somewhere, Keep Learning Mason: And here I am. So I went to pick my daughter up. And one of the other parents from my daughter’s class came up to me and was like, I just want you to know that we are so glad that you all are here and that we’ve got your back, we’re here for you. It was just so awkward, because it was like the first time we’d ever talked. But it was also so sweet. Right? And then afterwards, we were at our cars. And she was like, I’m sorry, that was really awkward. I just needed to say something, but didn’t know how. So I just said something. And I was like, it’s all good. You know, was it the perfect way to approach it? No, but she said something. She said, I see you. I support you. I’m here for you. You have allies in this community. That’s huge. Yeah. Did she do it perfectly? No. You know, but she did it. And she did it well, and that’s what matters is that we take those little steps that are kind of scary. Yeah, she was nervous about having that conversation with me because she didn’t know how to, but she did it. And that’s my message: it’s that you don’t have to know what you’re doing. And you don’t have to do it perfectly. And if someone gets upset with you for not doing it perfectly, that’s their problem, not yours. And that’s okay. It’s ok for trans people to be upset when someone does something wrong. But it’s not, in my mind, it’s not okay to hate people for learning and for trying to do better. Ayelet: I mean, there’s space for all of it. Right? There’s space for restoring justice. There’s space for reparing harm. And I think… it’s so interesting, Mason, because the more deeply my own personal relationship is with allyship, with work to uphold and support and be a presence for any marginalized identity that is not my own, you know, you realize so I realized so much more deeply about how this is really about acknowledging when we don’t get it right, and getting better at that. And we live in a society that reveres and upholds perfectionism. And just that harms all of us because it cannot… we get stuck in our own stuff. Mason: Yeah, we get in our heads about it. Ayelet: We get in our heads, we suffer from imposter syndrome we have so much it hurts us all within any kind of arena of our lives. Whether it’s our professional lives, whether it’s our personal lives. But the more that we can get prepared to sit in that discomfort, whether it’s about our own selves, or about supporting others and being there for our community and members of our community, however imperfectly, that’s the whole point. Right? Mason: One of the biggest things that I teach and advocate for is how to mess up. It’s not, you’re not going to get it perfect. I don’t get it perfect. I have friends whose pronouns I’m still working on zhe/zher is really hard for me. I’m learning, I’m doing better. I do better every day. When I mess up, I correct myself, move forward, don’t make a big deal out of it. And I repeat it in my head three sentences using pronouns correctly, to help embed that in my brain. And when I mess up in my head talking to myself about this person, I correct myself. Because I’m doing the work to do better. And, you know, that’s all we can do is work to do a little bit better every day. Ayelet: So on that note, what are some of the things that you feel like are important for families to start to consider when it comes to supporting their own children or their own selves as they start to build awareness about their own gender identities? Mason: As we well know, as parents, gender is so ingrained in everything, there’s a boy section and a girl section in the toy aisle. There’s boys clothes and girls clothes. And while I understand that, in some instances, styles are different for the general boy category or the general girl category, why, why are Batman toys for boys? Yeah, you know, I was very lucky in how I was raised in that my parents encouraged me to play with whatever I wanted to play with, which was generally a large stick or Legos. All Children Are Figuring Out Their Gender Identity When I did play with dolls, it was with my sisters, and we were on the Oregon Trail, and I was the adventure guide. I was given space to play with what I wanted to play with how I wanted to play with it. And that is huge. In regards to a child who is who is figuring out their gender identity, which all kids are, whether their gender identity aligns with their sex assigned at birth or not. So giving that kid space to play with what they want to play with, and not say that’s a girl toy, or that’s a boy toy, and working to negate the voices that your child will hear outside of the home that say that’s not appropriate for your gender. And I believe just having those conversations and being open to those conversations. And if your kid asks a question that you don’t know the answer to, even if they’re like two or three, which is when gender identity is typically starting to be formed, say, You know what, I don’t know! Let’s look it up together. And that teaches good research skills, that teaches that, you know, I’m not perfect, I don’t know everything. Or, you know, my friend, Mason might have the answer for that. Let’s ask Mason. And that’s a great space to start. Yeah, you know, I want to… I want to be a resource, because I am constantly learning and I love learning about this. And I have to learn about this, because it’s my lived experience. It’s easy as a person who doesn’t live this experience to never think about it. And that’s where potential harm comes in. Because according to recent Pew Research, seven point something percent of the United States population identifies as LGBTQ. Now, that might seem small, but think about 8% of your community. If you have 100 people in your community, that’s eight people. So in my community that I grew up in, which has a population of 5000, where we know everyone, that’s a lot of people, I’m not going to try the math on that, because I’m not going to try the math on that. But, you know, that’s a lot of people! Ayelet: Right, that’s more people than actually feel safe, or acknowledged or… Mason: Exactly, that’s just people who are willing to put on a form that that’s how they identify. Statistically, estimates have been, given that, the guess is that 10% identify as LGBTQ. We’ll see in the future, if that statistic gets blown out of the water or not, it’s higher than it was even a year ago. You know, we look at Gen Z, and whatever the generation after that is, and wow! There was a marketing research brief done in Great Britain a while ago, that less than half… Okay, so there’s the Kinsey scale, which zero is exclusively heterosexual, like, I am not attracted to the same gender ever at all, in the least, what? No. And then there’s a six, which is I am only attracted to the same gender, never any other gender, ew. And so the numbers between fall, you know, 12345 are kind of in the middle. And this research brief, marketing research brief showed that less than half of British Millennials identified as a zero, as exclusively heterosexual. Now, most of them identified as a one or a two, which is mostly heterosexual, but they didn’t identify as a zero. They were open to the concept of being attracted to someone of the same gender. That’s a huge mindset shift that has happened in the last 15 to 20 years. You know, that has happened in my lifetime. It’s been 20 years since I graduated from high school, which is super weird to say. And what has changed since I was in high school is ridiculous. I mean, the internet has brought information to everywhere that wasn’t there before. You know, I didn’t know that transgender men existed when I was growing up. I didn’t know that it was an option, right? And now due to the internet, like Yeah, kids know, right. And kids know who they are. Ayelet: And they have the language for it! Having – And Using – the Language Helps Everyone, Even When it’s Uncomfortable Mason: Exactly. I didn’t have the language to say no, I don’t… I knew I didn’t fit, but I didn’t know what didn’t fit. I didn’t have the space to create space for myself to be who I am until I went away to the “big city” of Columbia. There’s like 100,000 people here, but it’s, you know, it’s huge in comparison to where I grew up. And you know, as I work on my business, and as I work on wanting to reach Midwesterners, who don’t know anything, but know they don’t want kids to die. I didn’t escape from Shelby County, Missouri. I didn’t run away from home. I wasn’t exiled either. Nobody forced me to leave. I chose to leave to create space for my own self, and I choose to stay because I need that community. Do I wish I could move back home? Honestly, yes. Every time I go home, every time I set foot on the farm, I get tears in my eyes because it’s so hard to live elsewhere. And I know that ultimately, that’s not where I belong right now. Maybe someday I will, but right now it’s not. And it’s heartbreaking for me. And I think that’s something that when we talk to people on the coasts who aren’t familiar with the Midwest and paint, you know, rural Missouri with a certain paintbrush… That’s not accurate. It’s not a bunch of backwoods homophobes who don’t know anything. They’re a bunch of good, hardworking, honest, open, compassionate people who don’t know anything. And it’s not their fault that they don’t know anything. They haven’t been told they haven’t been exposed. I mean, some of my biggest advocates and allies are farmers in Shelby County, Missouri. That’s the fact of it. Ayelet: Well, I mean, that again, it all comes back to creating space for education and creating space for learning. Mason: Exactly. Ayelet: And creating space to be uncomfortable in that process of learning. Mason: Yeah, you know, I don’t care if people agree with my sexual orientation or gender identity. I really don’t. Yeah, I care if they treat me with respect and love and try to do better. That’s what matters to me. I don’t care what you believe or how you vote or what church you go to. That’s, that’s on you. That’s between you in the ballot box or you and God. What matters is how you treat me as an individual. And what matters is how you treat people like me and kids like me. Having one safe adult in a kid’s life reduces suicidality by 40%. According to research from the Trevor Project: one person, one person who treats them with respect and gives them a safe place to exist, that’s massive, that’s an impact that you can have as a parent, as a provider, as a professional, you can be that safe person, and that can literally save a kid’s life. Whoa. How Can We Create Inclusive, Supportive Community For LGBTQ and Questioning Folks? Ayelet: Okay, so let’s move into that. So what are some tips that you have, Mason, for parents, caregivers, and educator types who want to create an inclusive, supportive community for young children, including those who may be questioning their gender or sexual identities or who have already identified outside of the binary or cisgendered identity. Mason: Give them the space they need to explore and figure out who they are and what they enjoy. If you have parents who are LGBTQ and your child’s caregiver and Mother’s Day is coming ask how they do Mother’s and Father’s Day. Chances are, they have a plan already. And you can ask! That was a really cool moment when my my daughter started childcare in early May. And then like Mother’s Day was like, immediately. They just came to us and said, Hey, how do you want us to do Mother’s Day? And you know, we’d already talked about it, Hillary gets Mother’s Day, I get Father’s Day, we’ve renamed it Baba’s Day. And and that’s how we roll. And most families have a plan. And that’s okay. You can just ask, if you’re ever unsure of anything, you know, you can just go to the person in question and say, Hey, even if they’re a kid, maybe, especially if they’re a kid. Hey, does this word hurt you when I use it? Would you like me to use a different word instead? What words do you like to have used for you? Asking those questions and getting curious is great. If you’re the parent of a child, who seems to be cisgender, and they have questions, let them ask the questions. Like legit, let’s hop on a call. And I’ll talk to them and just say, hey, yeah, this is this is who I am. Because we all dread that moment of, “why is that boy wearing a dress?” as loud as possible in the grocery store. Although that happens less because everybody gets delivery now, because COVID. But you know, we dread that moment as parents, when is my kid gonna point out someone who is different from themselves and ask a very loud question. Most people, whether it’s in regards to ability or gender, are open to having the conversation with a kid, because a kid’s just learning and making sense of the world around themself. So don’t be afraid of the questions. If you don’t know the answer. Just admit you don’t have it and say, You know what, let’s look it up. Let’s find someone who might know the answer. There are some really great YouTube channels that are geared for kids that cover the basics in a kid friendly way, which is awesome. Resources and Tips to Create Inclusion and A Supportive Community: Start the Conversation into the Wild World of Gender Identity Ayelet: Yeah. Well, we’ll want some of those resources that you mentioned. That’s great. That’s great. Do you have any other thoughts or tips for how to create that inclusive or supportive community for little ones? Mason: Ask the adults in their lives’ pronouns. Ask for their pronouns. If you see a kid who seems to be expressing their gender differently than what was assigned at birth, let them and ask them questions about… not leading questions. If a kid comes to you and says, I’m not a girl, I’m a boy… believe them. And if they change their mind, great. If they don’t, they were given permission to exist and be who they are in that space at that time. As kids get older and want to physically transition and you know, medically transition, take hormones, have surgery, whatever. That’s when things get a little more complicated. But when they’re littles What’s it hurt to let your son wear a dress? There might be people who don’t understand and your kid might deal a little bit with that, but how much more hurtful is it for you to be the one to tell them not to. Explaining the consequences of a decision is different from saying no, you can’t do that. Saying most boys don’t wear dresses, but it’s totally okay if you want to. I just want you to know that some people may not be nice about it. That’s an okay conversation to have with your kid. That’s informing them that you know, their decision, their comfort might be at the expense of some other people’s but they can still be who they are. Yeah. And let them make that decision, because kids are so much more aware than we, we know. My daughter’s friends will come up to me and be like, Are you a boy or girl? And I’ll say, Well, I’m, I’m kind of both, and they’ll go, okay, and skip away and play. They don’t have these preconceived notions that we do as adults. And we need to allow them to continue to not have those preconceived notions. Ayelet: They’re asking that question, because they are noticing something that they haven’t seen before. They’re noticing something that doesn’t fit into the categories that they’ve been taught. And again, it’s that they’ve been taught, right? It’s not “that exists,” it’s just that the idea is that we think about gender as a binary. And we know from all kinds of examples in science that it’s not. So again, just really driving home the idea that like, that’s how, often, we talk about it, but it’s not actually that easy. Just like, like the good guys and bad guys conversation. Right? I liked to have that with my kiddos when they were both sort of starting in that I guess around three, like, Oh, is he good? He’s a good guy, or they’re a bad guy, or blah, blah, blah. Right. And and my answer would always be well, there’s actually… Mason: They’re doing bad things! Ayelet: Yeah, right. Exactly. They’re just a human who’s making some choices. And so it’s always about the reframe. Mason: Exactly. It’s been really amazing, because that one experience at childcare where some families left because of a book is the only negative experience I’ve had, and it wasn’t even directly related to me. Ayelet: Right.  It happened to be that that was, that you were… Mason: I happened to be that I was a parent at that school as well. Yeah, they would have left whether I was there or not. And living in relatively rural Central Missouri for that to be the only negative experience I’ve had, shows that you know, people aren’t jerks. They just don’t know. And that’s okay. Ayelet: It’s the attempt to learn is the key. Mason: Exactly. Yeah, putting in the effort. And you know, it doesn’t have to be an overnight shift. Baby steps are allowed. If all you take away from this interview is a thought of, huh, that’s different…Then I’ve done my work. That’s my goal. Ayelet: Starting with conversation. Mason: Starting the conversation being an approachable entryway into the wild world of gender diversity. Ayelet: I love that. Mason, what are some of your favorite resources to share with families or with helping professionals who want to support others who are questioning who are coming out, I know that you have an amazing resource that you’ve created. And I’d love to hear some of the others that you, at least that you enjoy sharing. Mason: So listen, GLSEN is for educators and parents of school aged children – so elementary, middle, and high school. So they have some amazing resources, PFLAG Parents and Family of Lesbians and Gays, they have great resources, they have support groups across the country. You’re allowed to feel your feelings. If your child is transitioning, that’s totally okay. Give yourself the space to do that in a safe, compassionate space, which is often parents groups, whether they are PFLAG, or through a local LGBTQ center or online, you know, find the support you need. And you know, I’m in a Facebook group with a bunch of parents of trans kids. And it is the most beautiful thing in the world to see these parents navigating their kids coming out at 4, 5, 6, 36, 46. And these parents are just trying to find their way through it. They’ve got each other for support. And it’s beautiful. And goodness, there are so many. I have a compassionate coming out guide that you can get at aidedcollective.com and click on… I forget what I have it as right now. I’m redoing my website. So I think it’s under Support. It’s Masonaid.VIPmembervault.com is the direct link. It’s a little complicated. A Compassionate Coming Out Guide Ayelet: But if you go to aidedcollective.com and search for the Compassionate Coming Out Guide, you can find that. Mason: Yes, awesome. And it has resources and tips and how to respond and how to deal with how you might be feeling if a kid or family member comes out to you. You know, because that’s honestly that’s a big honor. If someone trusts you, to come out to you, that says a lot about who you are and how comfortable they are with you. Even if it’s scary for them, they did it. They spoke their truth with you. How you respond establishes that relationship for the future. And you don’t have to throw a rainbow cake parade to be a positive response. You have to say, Okay, this is all new to me. You know, I’m going to have to learn some, but I’m going to do the work to learn and know better. How can I support you? You don’t have to know all the answers. You don’t have to know all the lingo. You’re not going to I still don’t and that’s okay. Trevorproject.com is a great resource for mental health in the LGBT community. They have some amazing research briefs as well as they provide suicide hotlines for trans and LGBTQ teens. So they’re a phenomenal resource. And then follow me and I’ll be sharing resources as I find them. I’ve got a picture books list. I’m working on a juvenile and young adult list of you know, because books are so powerful in having those conversations with your kids. You know, like the book Everywhere Babies doesn’t ever say a thing about LGBTQ inclusion. But there’s a pair of Mama’s in that book in a picture. And so that gives me the space to say, see, everyone’s family looks a little different. Isn’t that cool? You’ve got a mama and Baba, they’ve got a mommy and daddy. They live with their grandparents. That’s a way to foster that conversation without it having to be a… so, kid. We’re gonna talk about sexual orientation and gender identity in America. By the way, you’re three. You know, you can just make it casual. And bring it up with a book. Ayelet: Show that it exists! Mason: Yeah, just let people know. Or if you have a friend with LGBTQ parents say, oh, yeah, they have two mommies. Isn’t that cool? You’re so lucky. You have a mommy and a daddy. And they’re so lucky. They have two mommies. And families all look different. But they’re all wonderful. Ayelet: That’s awesome. Mason:  Good stuff. Ayelet: It’s great stuff. Awesome, Mason, thank you so, so much for being here today and chatting through these topics with us. Where can people find you if they want to give you a follow? Mason: Instagram is at aidedcollective, Facebook is also at aidedcollective. And then my website is aidedcollective.com. Ayelet: So on brand. Mason: Consistent and on brand. It’s so good. I am starting to blog regularly again soon and there will be a podcast coming in May or June. Ayelet: Okay, all right, everybody. Stay tuned. Mason: Stay tuned. That’s… I believe I’m calling it Midwest Pride. Ayelet: Oh, exciting. Love it. Mason: Because it’s a little gay, a little Midwest. I’m proud of being Midwestern. I’m proud of being LGBTQ. So, I’m pretty proud of that name. Ayelet: Amazing. Amazing. Mason. Thank you so much. Mason: Thank you. It’s been wonderful. The post How Families Can Support Gender Identity, with Mason Aid appeared first on Learn With Less.

Just what is parent coaching in early intervention? On this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, we sat down with Joanne Cazeau, of Koze Speech Therapy and @thespeechpathologist (Instagram). Joanne is a licensed pediatric speech-language pathologist and private practice owner who believes strongly in the power of parent coaching – working with caregivers directly to support their young children when providing early intervention services. We discussed: Joanne’s professional and personal background that brought her to the work she’s doing today Disparities in clinical service, culturally responsive care, and the implications of biases held by practitioners providing speech therapy and other services How Joanne’s therapeutic approach has shifted from when she was working in a private practice to her work in early intervention working for herself The impacts of the pandemic on her outlook and therapeutic approaches Some of Joanne’s favorite therapy “hacks” when it comes to being creative now that she’s following more of a parent coaching / bagless style of therapy Joanne’s favorite resources to share with families or other professionals who are hoping to approach early intervention in this way Helpful Resources to Acknowledge For This Episode: More Is Better: Maximizing Natural Language Opportunities, by Lee Ann Jung, Ph.D. Anita Zucker Center for Excellence in Early Childhood Studies at the University of Florida Teach Speech Services, with Kacy Wickerson, M.A., CCC-SLP Transplaining, with A.C. Goldberg, Ph.D., CCC-SLP and Chris Rehs-Dupin Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (and save 70%)! Discover how to support and connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Free Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint: what are the four major areas of early development… and how can you use the pillars of Learn With Less® to support that learning, using the time, energy, and materials you already have?! Download our free blueprint today. Learn With Less® Caregiver & Me Classes a developmentally based family enrichment curriculum for caregiver and infant/toddler learning. Classes available both virtually and in-person. Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: create lasting impact leading ‘Caregiver & Me’ classes with a high quality, evidence-based, “plug & play” program that’ll have families coming back again & again Black Rockette: Perspectives of a black female speech language pathologist in academia, by Dr. Ianessa Humbert, Ph.D. Things I Wish White Moms Knew About Black Motherhood, an episode of the First Name Basis podcast Seeing White, Season Two of the Scene On Radio podcast  Diversity & Equity Toolkit for Coaches & Entrepreneurs by Trudi LeBron Episode 68: The basics: justice, equity, diversity, inclusion, That’s Not How That Works Podcast Examining Our Relationship to Language and Implicit Bias, Pause On The Play Podcast Instagram Feeds to follow: @Jrc_theslp @phuonglienpalafox @aaefortheslp @decolonizeslp @slp.meets.psyd @pediatricspeechsister @respectthedialect @dionna.hearn Connect With Us: Joanne: Website / Facebook / Instagram Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript of this Episode Ayelet: Welcome to the Learn With Less® Podcast. Today I’m joined by Joanne Cazeau. Joanne is a multilingual, New Jersey-licensed pediatric speech-language pathologist and early interventionist who specializes in identifying and therapeutically supporting young children with speech-language disorders. She is also the owner of Koze Speech Therapy, a pediatric private practice based in Bergen County, New Jersey. In her earliest days as an undergraduate student, Joanne knew that her life’s work was to help children and their families improve their communication skills, Joanne believes in making speech therapy fun and functional. She knows that optimal learning occurs during positive experiences and that rapport is a critical component of a successful therapeutic relationship. Joanne sees all children as having strengths to build on to improve their weaknesses, and to help them achieve their speech and language goals. She is passionate about empowering families, especially those from the diaspora, to support their children in achieving their full communicative potential through education, training and counseling. Joanne, welcome. Thank you so much for being here today on Learn With Less®! Joanne: Thank you, Ayelet. Thank you for letting me come on! Ayelet: I’m so happy to have you. Well, I just wanted to say first of all, I looked on your website. And I love how your tagline is communication is… communication for everyone, actually, not just communication is for everyone. But what you provide is communication for everyone. And I just love that. And I want you to sort of get into you know more about that, in general. But first, you know, I read your bio, but I’d love for you to just tell us more about your own professional background, how you got into the work that you’re doing today. Becoming a pediatric speech-language pathologist Joanne: Yeah, and thank you, I’m glad that you like that tagline. It took me so long to come up with something that I was comfortable with, and that represented what my practice was doing, and my practice values. So I guess I’ll jump into a little bit about myself. So I actually got into speech-language pathology in the roundabout, most confusing way. And we talked about that a little bit before. So I actually was very interested in being a pediatrician… which I feel like there are so many similarities with what we do, especially if you’re working with pediatric populations with having that interest to work with younger population. So I really just had it written in my mind that I was going to become a pediatrician, and I was looking at pre med programs at all my colleges. But an experience that actually put me on the path to engaging with a speech-language pathologist was when I moved to the US, I was evaluated by the district. And when I was evaluated, I was evaluated in English, and I spoke no English at that time. The only word that I knew was rabbit. And that was from watching Bugs Bunny! Sometimes we would play that, and then I knew what a rabbit was. And I could say it perfectly, but that’s the only thing I knew. So I remember the person who was doing the assessment was just flipping through pages and giving me directions. And I had no idea what they were saying throughout the entire assessment. And I was crying, and I was in distress. And a few months later, we had this big old meeting downtown. It was in the Department of Ed and my mom was there and they were just chatting away, I had no clue what was going on. Parents as A Child’s First Advocate My mom was just very furious. And I still had no clue what they were talking about until we got home. And my mom said that they were trying to diagnose me with a language disorder and that she had advocated for me and said, Well, she doesn’t speak English. And she was assessed in English. So of course, she’s not going to meet any of your criteria. And so my mom was my first advocate. And actually speech-language pathologists were like enemy number one in my mind, because I was like, this person did a very terrible thing to me. And they tried to take advantage of me. And so when I went into undergrad, I was still pre-med and I was a bio major… until one day I took a foundations to human communication course I loved it, still not realizing that this is the thing that I hated so much way back in the day. Then, I took another course in that same department. That department was called something else. It was like communications something something something so it didn’t click to me that like this was the Speech and Hearing Science Center and that I was taking some of their courses. Finding The Field of Speech-Language Pathology When I realized what was happening, I was like, Oh, wow, okay, I really do like this. And I feel like, you know, if the thing that happened to me, if it happened to me, and I had my advocate, you know, my mom, then this could potentially happen to other children. And so that’s when I kind of took up an interest. And I said, well, maybe I could be the person that makes a difference, especially given the demographic of our field, that maybe what happened to me actually happens a lot more often than I thought. And maybe I could be the person that makes a difference in another child’s life. So that’s how I ended up pursuing the academic portion of speech language pathology. And so, I did my undergrad at GW. I have Haitian parents, so it was not an option to… even though I was halfway through my four years. It was not an option to do five or six years of undergrad. And so I was taking 18 plus credits from junior to senior year just to try to finish my speech and hearing degree since I picked it up so late. And I was also a public health minor, so I was just like taking credits, taking credits. And by the time I was done, I was exhausted. And then I did my graduate studies at Howard University, I specialized… we had like a medical speech language pathology track. And that’s what I did. I did my CF [clinical fellowship] in Baltimore at the Kennedy Krieger Institute. And I learned so, so much there, but I worked with populations, children who had complex medical diagnoses for medically fragile, and cognitive disorders, and then I moved back home because I was homesick, I really missed New Jersey. And so I moved back home and I did some private practice work. And I really realized that the work that I was doing, because of the demands that were placed on us, I really felt like I wasn’t doing my best, clinically. And so I dove into my own private practice, which has been working out great. And I have time to do things like this, with you! Ayelet: Yeah, right! Yes, yes. Okay. First of all, I would love it if we could just specifically name what you, what you touched upon, about the demographics of our field, number one, which I am assuming, and I’m pretty sure I’m right, that you’re talking about the fact that our field is… I don’t have the actual statistics in front of me but… Joanne: Right, 92%! Ayelet: And I believe it’s 92. Yes, 92% white women. So, I did not bring you on to talk specifically about this topic. Nor do I think that you need to be the person to talk all about this topic. Joanne: Well, let’s talk about it, though. Speech-Language Pathologists are 92% White Women: We Need to Discuss Bias, Race, and Identity Ayelet:  But I’d love to talk. I mean, I’m happy to… tell us a little bit more if you can explain from your own experiences, some of the things that you feel like we’re at play, knowing what you know, now, as a grown woman with an education in a field now, yourself, as one of the 8% humans who holds a marginalized identity within this field, what do you feel like were some of the factors that contributed to the identification of you, as a child, having a language disorder versus the fact that you probably should have just been evaluated in a language other than English. Joanne: Another language, yeah. So I feel like there are multiple things at play. And I will give credit to some things and kind of dismiss other things. So I know that discussing bias and race is not something that occurs at the graduate level, and definitely not at the undergraduate level. So I think that clinicians aren’t prepared to be able to make sound decisions when they are presented with a child that doesn’t speak English, or maybe speaks multiple languages. And they’re not really sure how to do differential diagnosis. I think that’s something that’s not discussed. I think there are also clear biases that are not kind of brought to the forefront at the academic level, like, these are the biases that you might hold as a white woman… they like these are the biases that you might hold, like, with these different identities, and just being able to have open discussion about it. Because when I was at Howard, we talked about it a lot. And I’m not necessarily sure that it’s just because it’s a Historically Black College, I just think that our educators were invested enough in the work that we did, and invested enough in our clients to be able to say, look, when you go out into the field, you’re going to encounter different people, these are the biases that you should take into account. And then let’s figure out clinically what you’re going to do to make sure that you’re recognizing these biases, I think that conversation just doesn’t happen. And I can tell you just being at GW, so I had both experiences, right, I went PWI [Predominantly White Institution]. And then I also went to a predominantly Black University, a historically Black university. And some of the things that I experienced from people who had PhD’s… some of the things that they were telling us… one, I was thoroughly offended by, and two, wasn’t true. And three, like there was just no discussion beyond what was said, no one had the ability to challenge anything. And I felt like in my PWI experience, I was the challenging Black student, I was the only I was the only Speech and Hearing science major who was Black and female, black and female, ooh, double, like double whammy, and my entire class. A Clinician’s Biases and Assumptions And so a lot of things that were said to me, I would challenge them. Like I had one professor, very esteemed in our field, who said that Jamaicans and Jamaican natives do not speak English, and that, like threw me all the way back. And I said, well, if they don’t speak English, what do they speak? And she said, Well, they speak Patois. And I was like, okay, but like, if you were handing out, you know, like a survey to like all Jamaica, and you said, circle all the languages that you speak, they would circle English, because Patois is based off English, and they were colonized by Britain. And then they would say, and I also speak Patois. And so that became a whole conversation of contention. And I was like, labeled as the difficult student in that class. And I had that experience throughout my PWI journey. And it’s alarming to me that someone, you know, who holds such an advanced degree… if that person can make that statement, I can only imagine what’s happening everywhere else in the field. So I think it’s like, one, these conversations aren’t had, but two, these are just these people’s biases like these are these clinicians’ biases and assumptions and throw in a little hint of racism in there, and you got a good ol’ pot. So yep, yeah. It’s a lot of things look at a lot. Ayelet: A lot of things. And we will also be sure to link to a ton of great resources [see above], because we brought up some pretty important discussion topic. And if you are someone who’s listening and would like some more resources on this topic, we’ll be linking to things like that in the show notes. So Joanne and I will have a conversation about what those might be. Obviously, this topic is ingrained into all of the other things that we’re supposed to “supposed to,” quote unquote, supposed to talk about today. But I want to, you know, revert back and ask you about your own therapeutic approach, because you mentioned about how, number one, you worked in a private practice, you wanted a little bit more flexibility, you wanted more control over your own life and lifestyle. So I want to hear a little bit about specifically your therapeutic approach and how that has shifted, if has shifted from when you worked in a private practice to working more in early intervention for yourself in your own practice. Shifting into Private Practice as a Clinician: Toy-Heavy Therapy to Bagless Therapy in Early Intervention Joanne: Yeah, for sure. So when I worked in private practice, I think one thing that we kind of had to recognize is the private practices, especially when insurance is involved, there is a pressure to have more clients and to be more productive. And so I kind of got stuck in that cycle of seeing upwards of like, 45 to 50 clients in a week. And it felt like a rotating door kind of a process. When you are seeing that volume of clients, and you know, there’s a restricted amount of time, it’s not like you can say, hey, you know, I’m feeling really tired. Can we delay our session by 45 minutes, because you’re scheduled back to back a lot of times. For me, the therapy became a lot of grabbing toys, and doing the session that way. It became a lot of doing a lot of articulation, drill activities, a lot of things that I felt like in that moment, immediately, it took care of their therapeutic needs, but I wasn’t sure that I was being my best clinician. And the way that I could describe it, the best, is that I was seeing the clients but not treating the clients and saying it out loud is so cringy because as a therapist, I would never want to assess myself as not treating a client. But it felt that way to me, like clients were just coming in and out. And I was seeing them and I was doing activities with them. But I really felt like I really wasn’t treating them and doing my best therapy. So I didn’t feel good about myself and the kind of therapists that I knew that I could be in that space. And so everything was also so toy heavy, like I had my big ol bag and everything was in a Ziploc bag. And it was just like toys, toys, toys, toys. Whereas, I really wasn’t taking time to talk to the families about what to do at home besides like, this is your homework, I want you to do these drills, let’s do like initial T’s for homework. But I really wasn’t, the carryover wasn’t happening. And parents would tell me, I just don’t have the time, I just don’t have this. And I didn’t have the tools to tell them any better, because I was just like, well, sit down to play with your kid or like sit down and do these drills. We Don’t Need to Cling to Toys: Early Intervention is About Daily Routines and Interactions Whereas when I transitioned into more early intervention, and working using the home based model, especially given the climate that we’re in with COVID, bringing in the toys, one, was just a hassle because then you have to wipe everything down and make sure that you’re not transmitting and transferring things for myself and for my other clients. But also, too, because in early intervention now, the expectation is that you’re not bringing toys in. So I was so used to clinging onto toys and holding on to toys and that was like my, you know, my saving grace, like, oh, we can do Pop The Pig, thank goodness, like I’m gonna pull one of these out. Whereas with early intervention, it’s like, Nope, we don’t expect you to be bringing in toys. And they kind of have people monitoring! I felt like I was freaking out for like, the first week, I had no idea what I was doing. I was like, What do you mean, I can’t bring toys? Because sometimes you go into the home and the families don’t have toys. So I think that what that’s done for me is it’s taught me how to be a lot more creative. It’s taught me how to use what families have. And it’s also taught me how to bring families into the activity, so that maybe whatever mom is doing, we can get involved with and we can still target skills, but it’s not necessarily that we’re playing with a specific toy. So that’s really helped me a lot. And then, I see the carryover happen a lot more. Because if we’re making a sandwich with mom, or maybe for helping her with the laundry or with dad, Whoa, that was not inclusive at all. Or if I am playing to just – I just caught myself I’m like, oh gosh! Ayelet: Yeah! Joanne: Two years of training with AC Goldberg and I still am just not getting it right. So if we’re playing with parents, or if we’re completing a routine with parents, and if we’re doing maybe a laundry routine with parents, since this is something that they’re going to do any ways, then that it takes out that pressure from them that makes them feel like I have to sit down for five minutes or 15 minutes and play a game. Whereas now, a lot of my families are carrying it over because it’s already part of their routine. Helping Families See the Value of Embedding Skill Development in Everyday Routines So it’s been beneficial to me. And it’s also been beneficial to the parents, because they see the value of just taking one activity that they’re doing, and embedding a skill into it. So I feel like that’s opened up a whole new world for me. And now I have a cart, trunk full of stuff and they’re all organized very neatly, but I don’t touch them! I might take in a book every now and then. But now it’s, it’s almost like I really don’t have a use for toys, whatever we can get inside. And we can just do whatever. And we can still find a way to target things. And I’m not anti toy by any means. I love toys. I think they’re great. But I think the mindset shifts for me, especially with early intervention being like, Nope, you can’t take your bag in there, has been, you have got to figure out a different way, and a different way has been working for me, that was a really long winded answer. Ayelet: But you know what, it resonates, as you might imagine very much with this person, as in, me. Sorry, I’m raising my hand for all the people who can’t, can’t see us, right? Yes, I  love just number one that yes, it’s not about being anti toy. It’s about utilizing what families already have. If they have toys, I bring them in [to the play]! If the child is playing with a favorite toy, of course, that’s gonna come into the play. But one of my clients right now is really into spatulas. And his family has several different colored spatulas as in like the the like, what’s the word? Not scooping? But like, oh my gosh, what’s the word for like when you’re… Joanne: Like, curved? Ayelet: Yeah, it’s like the curved one for like, the edge of the bowl. Not like getting something Joanne: Ayelet, you’re asking the wrong person. I don’t cook a day in my life. Ayelet: But there’s they’re both called spatula, right? One kind of spatula is like the flipping kind for. And one kind is like for scooping the icing or whatever off the edge of a bowl and like getting it in, right. Anyway, regardless, spatulas, great toy. But like, that’s what we’re gonna play with. Right? So, for instance, for me, like I find, if I am going to bring something into a session, then it’s usually something that I think the family might already have. But if I bring it, it’s like, oh, you mean you we can use a salad spinner in play? Oh, well, the speech therapist brought it. So it must be okay. Right. So that’s like sometimes a strategy that I use to like, get families more buy in to like, actually utilize the things that they have at home as play objects, right. Anyway, just a fun, just a fun little side. Joanne: Yeah, no, that’s great! Parent Coaching in Early Intervention: Seeing Clients vs Treating Clients Ayelet: I would love for you to just like outrightly name, what to you do you feel like is the difference between seeing clients versus treating clients? Because that was a really interesting note that you said, and I’d love for you to just talk a little bit more about that, if you can. Joanne: Yeah, so I feel like… and I think I mentioned it before, because of the volume of people that were coming in, they were just coming in and I was doing the session. So I knew that that was taken care of. But just having the time – and time is so precious. And I’m figuring that out now, like time is a luxury. And we don’t talk about it enough. But when you have so many clients coming in, and there’s just… there’s enough time to grab something or think of a quick activity. Whereas I feel like now, because I do have the luxury of time, I can sit down and like think about some creative things to do with my kids. And think about some creative ways to target their skills, and then give them carryover activity that is actually really functional to them and really invest a lot more time into my clients than I was before. Because another thing that we have to think about is the documentation. When you’re dealing with insurance, you kind of have to be like on your P’s and Q’s. Whereas I feel like I’m not spending, you know, that much time on my documentation. I’m not spending all of my time talking to reps and trying to figure out about a claim or this or that. So I feel like I have more time to invest into my clients. And that looks like physical time sometimes, too, like sometimes the session is going really well. And I don’t want to stop and I don’t want to interrupt the kid because they’re doing so well. So we might go over a couple of minutes. And that’s okay, because I have the ability to time myself that way. And parents really appreciate that. Because sometimes in private practices, it does feel like at the 30 minute mark, they are out the door because you have someone else that you need to see. The Value of Time as a Clinician and as a New Parent So just given that extra time to really dive in do extra research. I have a client who has a complex and a rare diagnosis and just having that time to do extra research… and my family has told me, Wow, we’ve never had a practitioner actually take the time to read. Like, I was reading ASHA articles and I was sending to them and I was highlighting some notes and they said we’ve never actually had any of our practitioners do that for us and take the extra time to look into this. So I feel like I’m treating my clients in that way. Like I’m investing. I’m investing my clinical skills a lot more than I was before. I hope that makes sense. Ayelet: Absolutely. I love that. I think it’s, I think it’s a really thorough answer. And yeah, I think time… time for you as the clinician, time as in helping a family reframe what this time is for, right? And reframe what we can do in a certain amount of time. As far as like, it’s not just the clinician comes in with their bag of toys and treats the child, it’s actually a family affair. It’s, we’re utilizing this time that you’re already spending in the family to make it even more enriching, make this a language-rich environment, and help the family, the caregivers see that they can integrate everything that they’re doing with their child into their daily life there, and then participation to support communication in this case. But if it was another kind of developmental therapy, it would be that as well. And that’s what the parent coaching model, routines based intervention, and bagless therapy are all about. So I just love, I love that. And I think time is is absolutely such an interesting piece. Because, in all of those ways, it’s it’s so important. I’d love to hear more, too, because you talked a bit about COVID, how much of an impact has the pandemic had on your outlook on therapeutic approaches? Partnering with Parents and Caregivers in Early Intervention Joanne: Well, a couple of things have changed. Clearly, our clients can’t see our faces. And so what I’ve had to do, which works, right, it works, because I’m already in the home. That’s another thing when I was at my practice, you know, the rooms are small, they have limits on how many people can be in there. And a lot of times parents would just take off and go, and come back at the 30 minute mark. So because we’re already at home, and I have my mask on, I’m asking, you know, for like my Arctic kids, or like my speech delay kids, I’m having the caregivers actually model, right? So they have to be an active participant because Oh, Miss Jo can’t see her mask off. So parents are actually doing and caregivers are actually doing a lot of the modeling, which works out because we’re already at home, anyways. And because of the way that the session is structured, it is a parent coaching model. So parents are having to be there anyways. So the modeling, I feel like that’s helped a lot, you know, in comparison to what was happening in the clinic to what’s happening now. The parents are doing the coaching and… not the coaching, I’m doing the coaching! The parents are doing the modeling, which has been super, really helpful. I think also because, you know, taking in toys, you’re kind of like risking transmitting things, that’s been really helpful, because I’m not bringing in toys. And because I’ve adopted that new mindset, I don’t have to bring in toys. So I think that’s really helped with COVID a lot. The part that was a little teensy bit nervous about was, you know, I’m going into people’s homes in the middle of a pandemic, but I’ve been able to keep safe. And I’ve told parents and I’m really strict about keeping my mask on. And parents, they understand, I think they see the value of you coming into like coming to them and bringing the therapy to them. That’s huge for so many parents, especially parents who are busy or experiencing time poverty. So I think that’s been really helpful, even though it’s a little bit worrisome… But you know, fingers crossed, everything has been okay. Yeah. Is that what you were getting out? When you asked that? Ayelet: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, really just open ended question about what your experience has been. And then we’ve talked a lot about different kinds of everyday items and things like that. So I would love it if you could share just a few of your own favorite therapy hacks when it comes to being creative now that you are following more of this, like parent coaching or bagless style of therapy. Therapy Hacks in Early Intervention: What can Parents and Clinicians Do? Joanne: Yeah. So I’ve had a lot of sessions that in hindsight, it was like, Whoa, that was really kooky. But then it worked in the moment! So I have one of my kiddos, who… we played with a big candle and a little candle for 30 minutes. And he loved it! He scratched it, sniffed it, took it off of the stand that it was on, we rolled it around, we passed it back and forth. We talked about the big one and little one, and he absolutely loved it. And I know that grandma was sitting there like what the heck is happening, but he loved it. We got lots of really good language out of him, he was able to say up and down, and we’re talking about a kid who has his own playroom and he has millions of toys and he has lots of aunts and uncles who just spoil him, but he wanted to play with a candle! And I got more language out of him playing with that candle because he likes to smell things. I got more language out of him working with that candle then like ever, ever, ever, ever, doing all of our sessions with all the things that he has! I have another kiddo who just like picked up mirror and that’s what he wanted to play with. And so we played peekaboo. We talked about who we see in the mirror, we reflected other things off of the mirror, and he got a kick out of that. Absolutely loved that. Another kiddo who picked up the remote, really because he wanted to watch TV and I was interrupting his TV time because I walked in and I was like, Oh, well that’s gone. Because otherwise he would just be staring at the TV and completely ignoring me. And so we played with the remote and there were lots of buttons on there. Some of the buttons were a little bit harder to push than others. Some of them were really squishy buttons. We opened up the battery pack in the back we took things out, we’d hold them and he absolutely loved it once again! When parents realize that oh wow, he likes to play with the remote! Because you know, there’s like those fancy phone remotes are like there’s those fancy toy phones and parents will go out and buy them. And they make really cool noises, etc. But it’s like, Oh no, this is like your Time Warner Cable remote, and your kid loves it. And we’re doing so much… so much with it. So I feel like I’ve had pockets of that happening where my parents are really shocked and actually really excited because they’re like, oh, wow, we don’t need all of those things. Then I look back at the session, and I’m like, oh, okay, that was pretty, that went pretty well wasn’t really expecting, that’s how it would have gone but works pretty well. Or sometimes you’ll you’ll think, you’ll have a plan in your head when you go into the session of oh, this is what we’re going to work on. But they happen to be interested in something else, then I’ll just dive into that. Child-Led Activities vs Adult-Led Activities in Early Childhood Education and Early Intervention When I used to work at a private practice, I never would have felt comfortable following a child’s lead. And I know that sounds terrible coming from a clinician, but I felt more comfortable knowing that it was an adult led activity because I knew what targets we can bring up. And I knew what to anticipate and accept would happen. And you know, the vocabulary targets we could use and everything like that. Versus where now I am. And it’s still process! Right now I am in the process of accepting child led therapy and child led play, where sometimes I’m like, Well, I’m not really sure where this is going or like he’s really interested in this or she’s really interested in that and not really sure where it’s going. But just being confident enough in knowing that whatever happens, we’ll still be able to target skills. It doesn’t have to be super structured, but we’ll still be able to have fun and target skills, which I think having fun is like the number one priority, too. Yeah. One thing to plug in, too, that I’ve stepped away from and I didn’t notice that I was doing, is writing goals about unpreferred activities. But I think that we all kind of go through moments as clinicians where we’re like, oh, my gosh, I can’t believe I used to write those goals. I used to write eye contact goals! Terrible, terrible stuff. But now like, I refuse to even see those goals. Because if it’s unpreferred, why are we doing this and also by replacing the expectation on children that they should tolerate unpreferred activities. That’s something that I’ve stepped back away from, which also supports the whole child led approach to therapy, is that let’s let them do what they want to and what they’re interested in. Because if they’re enjoying it, then everybody’s happy. And chances are that you’ll actually be able to target more skills that way. Child Led Approaches to Therapy: How do We Help Families Learn to Follow Their Child’s Lead? Ayelet: Right. And actually, that’s like, basically the definition of play, right? Like we know, that’s all of the like Early Childhood Education Research, all Early Learning Research, early intervention research, that points to the fact that young children are going to utilize play, right? I mean, you have all these quotes, right, from Maria Montessori and Fred Rogers, and all the people saying, like play is the work of the child, right? Literally, that’s how they learn is through play. And when we let them explore, and we follow their interests, then we can provide the language around those things that they’re doing, how they’re moving, what it feels like, how it looks, what they might do next, and target all of those beautiful pieces of language and speech, as well. Right? How does it Oh, what is that word? Right? Like you mentioned the T’s earlier, right? Like, oh, let’s let’s see how many words that start with a /t/ we can fit into this activity? Right. And, and that does like it requires some reframes from the clinician. And also, we know that that is what is most, that is the most efficient and what’s what’s the adjective version of effective effictacious? Effica…. Regardless, Joanne: You’re asking a person who speaks four languages, and I have no clue… Efficacious? I think that might be a word? Ayelet: You’ve got two speech pathologists, who together could speak at least six or seven languages. We just can’t figure it out. You know, it’s effective. Joanne: When when the words are coming, sometimes I honestly give up. I’m like, having a little bit of word retrieval issues, not really sure which language I’m trying to pull up, or if this is even a real word. So let’s just go ahead and talk about something else! Ayelet: Or a medley of several different languages! Joanne: Exactly, exactly. Oh, my gosh so funny. Resources for New Parents and Professionals to Support Early Language Development Ayelet: Gosh, all right. Well, let’s hear about a few of your favorite resources to share with families or with other professionals who are hoping to approach early intervention in this way. Joanne: Yes. I mean, besides Learn With Less®? Ayelet: Oh, thank you. Joanne: So Learn With Less® is definitely number one. I feel like we met each other in a very odd way because I was actually just using the hashtag #learnwithless because I was like, Oh, this is like what I’m doing. And I was like, Wait, this is a whole program. Ayelet: It’s a thing! Joanne: Yeah, I was like this is a whole thing! And then I was like, Oh, let me follow her. And then we got connected by like, some weird happenstance or something. I think I might have tagged you in something. So definitely the Learn With Less® curriculum I feel like would be so beneficial for so many people. I myself have fun and into the category of more toyless play. So I also have lots of different resources. And I usually direct a lot of my families to a lot of really cool Instagramers. And a lot of blogs just to kind of like get out information. I don’t have anything in particular. But if I see something, I’ll just kind of like shoot it out to parents, I’ll ask them like, if they’ve read this or like, I just read this really cool article, or I just saw this really cool reel, which like, reels are so quick and easy. And parents can read them, or watch them. So I’ll just send it to them. I don’t have any like particular go to resource, but yours is definitely your Instagram page. And your website is definitely one and I’m definitely moving away from Toy therapy or like Toy directed therapy. So I also refer them to some of my blogs. Ayelet: Yeah, well, we would love obviously, to share those things in the show notes. But in general, where can people find what you’re doing? You know, where you are on the internet and all the amazing content that you’re creating? Joanne: Yes. So I have my information is not very consistent. But I started out as @thespeechpathologist on Instagram… Ayelet: Which is the best… and most amazing handle! Joanne: The name is so good that I refuse to change it to my company name. I’m like, No, I like this one. And when people look up “speech pathologist,” it just comes right up. So I am @thespeechpathologist on Instagram, which I don’t even know how I got that name. And nobody had it before me, it just, boop! It happens. But on my website, I am Koze Speech Therapy. So K-O-Z-E speech therapy dot com, and my Facebook is the same it’s Koze Speech Therapy. And then all of my contact information is on my website. Ayelet: Amazing. Parents are Their Child’s First Teachers: Parent Coaching is Essential with Early Learners Joanne: If I can leave your listeners with one thing, I don’t remember who exactly had that statistic. But I did a training that was called Keeping Babies and Children in Mind. And it’s a seven part training and it’s actually offered for free. I think as long as you’re in early childhood, you can just sign up on the Montclair University website. And the statistic was that if you see a child for 2 30-minute sessions, or one one-hour session. You’re seeing them once you’re going to that house once it was mostly geared towards early intervention, so you’re seeing them for one hour in the week. But children typically spend upwards of 84 hours with caregivers and with parents in the home or in their natural setting. So I thought for me, that was a big mind frame shift for me. Because when you really look at these numbers, the families and the caregivers are spending the most amount of time with the child. So why wouldn’t you direct your therapy and why wouldn’t you shape your therapy to support them? Especially since we know that parents and caregivers are their children’s first teachers? Why wouldn’t you shape your therapy to support them so that it really feels like they’re getting 85 hours of therapy? You know, like once you’ve given all the resources so for me that was really big, and then I understood okay, you know, pulling out Potato Head or like Pop the Pig and like doing that, and then taking my stuff and leaving. That’s not very helpful. So I think that one to 84 hours for me just kind of blew my mind because I never thought of it in like a numerical way. Sometimes you need numbers to be able to, to get it. So I wanted to leave everyone with that statistic. Ayelet: That’s awesome. Thank you. It’s so true. I mean, because again, it’s like that, that half an hour or one hour of an entire week. Think about how many hours there are in a single week that that the caregiver spends with that child. And so if we can, it’s the adage of teaching a person to fish right or giving them a fish versus teaching a fish. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Teaching fish teaching how to fish. Thank you. Yeah. We’re on fire here today. Joanne, thank you so much for coming onto the show today. It was so great having you. Joanne: Of course. Thank you so much Ayelet! Ayelet: Are you an educator or therapist looking for new ways to serve families, to use your knowledge to support new parents and caregivers in your community, I’d love for you to check out the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program. When you submit your application, we’ll make sure you’re a good fit. If you are, I’ll be gifting you my exclusive, private training all about how to create lasting impact leading “caregiver & me” classes with a high quality, evidence-based, “plug and play” program that will have families coming back again and again. All you need to do to get an invitation, is fill out the quick application form at https://learnwithless.com/certification, today. The post Why is Parent Coaching Important in Early Intervention, with Joanne Cazeau appeared first on Learn With Less.

What’s in a pause? Take a moment to think about it. (#punintended) It’s the simple little tricks we love the most – pausing is such a simple strategy to use with young children, and works for many different reasons. Join Ayelet in this episode of Learn With Less as she discusses the power of the pause.  Within this podcast episode, we model ways to play, talk, sing, and move in order to support learning and development, using the things you already have laying around your home. To learn more about these four pillars of the Learn With Less® curriculum, you can download my free infant/toddler development blueprint. Below is the transcript of this week’s “Developmental Thought,” an excerpt from the full episode. For additional information, music, play ideas and the complete interactive family experience, please listen to the entire episode.  Related Links to This Episode to Support Early Development How to create your own “Lift The Flap” Book to support language development, using items you already have in your home – our corresponding blog post. Download our free Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint, outlining major areas of learning and development in the first three years of life, and how you can support them using our four pillars of play, talk, sing, & move How Routines & Rituals Support Infant & Toddler Development, a Learn With Less® podcast episode Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (save 70%)! Discover how to support & connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Includes our bestselling books, our family music album, a full Learn With Less® “caregiver & me” class, and a caregiver handout outlining everything we covered so you can do it again and again at home! Learn With Less® Expand Your Impact Workshop Bundle: If you’re an educator or therapist type who’s interested in providing family enrichment services to families in your community, but you’re not sure where to start, grab our bundle of 4 value-packed workshops & discover how you can serve your community & support yourself, using your existing skills. Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Use your existing skills as an educator or therapist to serve families holistically with a high quality program that will provide lasting impact! Apply now to become a licensed facilitator Learn With Less®. Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes: the magic of Learn With Less® lies in the communal aspect of coming together with our resources, in community with other families. Join us for a virtual or in-person class led by a licensed facilitator near you! Connect With Us: Instagram / Facebook Pause For A Powerful Tool Today, I want to talk about why pausing with your young child is one of my single most powerful tools in parenting and in my role as a pediatric speech-language pathologist. There are many reasons why pausing during any conversation can be useful… first, we pause to highlight grammatical structures – to mark the end of a sentence, or a shift to a new idea. We pause for social reasons – to build anticipation, to clarify that we have expectations, to simply gather our thoughts, or to emphasize a point we’re trying to make. Pausing is also a useful strategy for us as parents and caregivers to allow our young children to process what we’ve said. We know that infants and toddlers are often processing multiple pieces of information (what they hear, what they see, what they’re touching, the way their bodies feel in motion) simultaneously – it’s no wonder that it often takes our little ones more time to attend to what we’ve said or asked of them. Want to support families in community, helping them feel confident they can support their tiny humans? Communication Strategy And finally, using a pause as a strategy to entice your little one to communicate can be very useful. Think about phrases that you use all the time – we all use them – those you just automatically know the way to finish them. For grown-ups, these are often successful advertising slogans like, “Just do ___”, or familiar idioms “When it rains, it ___.” These are unmistakably obvious to most of us socialized in the Western World, because we’ve heard them over and over again – they’re simply phrases that our brains automatically fill in. Our brains automatically do this when we’re listening to familiar songs, as well – either with the melody and rhythm or with the words. For our children, these are the phrases we use day in, day out. When we pause expectantly before saying part of the phrase, we’re using a particular strategy – and the technical term for this is called using a “cloze procedure.” You may already be doing this without thinking about it, either in daily caregiving routines like washing, dressing, etc., or in musical activities when singing familiar songs or nursery rhymes. For little ones who are just learning to use gestures, such as pointing, or even touching, using images to communicate thoughts and words is a wonderful first step towards verbal language. As we know, in the progression towards verbal language, we see babbling and gesture before actual words. Honor that gestural communication – when we model language and acknowledge that our children are communicating, we give them incentive to continue in their journey to express themselves. With children who are non-speaking, using a set of specific images to represent ideas, actions, objects, descriptive words, social words, or people, is a form of symbolic language, known as augmentative and alternative communication. Social Routines Modeling both gesture and words simultaneously is a wonderful way to enhance your little one’s learning, and creates a multi-sensory experience involving visual, auditory and movement elements in your interactive play. Our four-pillar framework of play, talk, sing and move here at Learn With Less® is also a wonderful way to think about how to incorporate developmentally enriching elements into our daily lives. You can learn more about that by downloading my free infant/toddler development blueprint, over at learnwithless.com/blueprint. Now, there are lots of ways to incorporate pausing and the cloze procedure strategy in our lives with our little ones. Think of all the things you already say each day or each time you complete a caregiving routine. We’ve spoken in the past, in my episode Routines and Rituals about the idea that caregiving routines are not only opportunities for repetition, allowing your child to anticipate what’s coming next, but they are also opportunities to introduce the idea of ritual to an infant or toddler. Even if this is simply something you say each time in a silly voice, or a song you sing on your way to the bathtub, or a favorite book or poem… these moments become special bonding and interaction time, as well as predictable opportunities that offer comfort and security. I encourage you to take an inventory of the types of rituals you might already be doing (sometimes you have to ask a caregiving partner or really pay attention to these moments, as you may be largely unaware that you’re even doing them!) and think about other simple little ways to add little phrases to your daily care routines. For instance, when you sit down to set up meal-time, you might say, “Ok, what do we need? A bib and a plate!” If you start saying this at every meal-time, your little one may surprise you by pointing to the objects they see in their vicinity before you even say your phrase, or may respond when you pause – “What do we need? A bib and a ___” by gesturing, vocalizing, or verbalizing. Whatever they do, you can say, “That’s right! A plate!” making sure to provide a verbal model or reinforce the adult pronunciation, and validating their response, at whatever level they were able to give it to you. Use the Learn With Less® infant and toddler curriculum in a “caregiver + baby” class setting in your community to build family capacity. Pausing in Books Book-reading activities are also wonderful opportunities to utilize a pause. I’m particularly in favor of using books with repetitive phrases (I have a whole collection of them on a Pinterest board, as these naturally lend themselves to use of the cloze procedure, if we leave out the final word or other familiar words in the repetitive line, pausing to wait for either a gesture or sign, or the word, before stating or modeling it ourselves. Ritual, Play and Pausing I might simply use the same phrase when I get into the car and put on my little one’s seat belt (something like, “arm in, arm in, ____ click!”), or when we are heading down the slide (counting “one, two, ___ three!” or “ready, set, ___ go!”)… and here’s another reason why talking to our little ones is so important – even from infancy! Everything we say becomes part of their world, whether we’re just bathing them in language, or whether we’re using particular ritual-like language to help them identify patterns and transitions. When we shift the focus slightly and use strategies like pausing, we’re not only giving them opportunities to respond, but also giving them something different to attend to, or to anticipate. This is part of language play. And you know I always encourage you to play with your little one. Please see below for a link to my YouTube video, which I reference in this week’s episode, and model one of the songs/rhymes we sang. Don’t forget to subscribe to the Learn With Less YouTube channel! The post Why Pausing Works: An Early Communication Tool appeared first on Learn With Less.

Looking for tricks to “make” your little one communicate? There are little tools we have. We, who work with little people, have tricks of the trade. One of them is the ability to tempt your small child into communicating. On this episode of Learn With Less, Ayelet tells you all about this early communication strategy, known as “sabotage,” but also discusses why it’s a tool to tempt your child – not to “make” your child do anything. Within this podcast episode, we model ways to play, talk, sing, and move in order to support learning and development, using the things you already have laying around your home. To learn more about these four pillars of the Learn With Less® curriculum, you can download my free infant/toddler development blueprint. Below is the transcript of this week’s “Developmental Thought,” an excerpt from the full episode. For additional information, music, play ideas and the complete interactive family experience, please listen to the entire episode. Related Links to This Episode to Support Early Development How to create your own box of communicative temptations using the things you already have in your home – our corresponding blog post. Download our free Infant/Toddler Development Blueprint, outlining major areas of learning and development in the first three years of life, and how you can support them using our four pillars of play, talk, sing, & move Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (save 70%)! Discover how to support & connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Includes our bestselling books, our family music album, a full Learn With Less® “caregiver & me” class, and a caregiver handout outlining everything we covered so you can do it again and again at home! Learn With Less® Expand Your Impact Workshop Bundle: If you’re an educator or therapist type who’s interested in providing family enrichment services to families in your community, but you’re not sure where to start, grab our bundle of 4 value-packed workshops & discover how you can serve your community & support yourself, using your existing skills. Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program: Use your existing skills as an educator or therapist to serve families holistically with a high quality program that will provide lasting impact! Apply now to become a licensed facilitator Learn With Less®. Learn With Less® “Caregiver & Me” Classes: the magic of Learn With Less® lies in the communal aspect of coming together with our resources, in community with other families. Join us for a virtual or in-person class led by a licensed facilitator near you! Connect With Us: Instagram / Facebook Text Transcript of this Episode Today I want to talk about one of the strategies I use to promote early communication, both as a mother and as a therapist. This particular strategy has a bit of a funny name: we call it “sabotage.” Essentially, the idea is that the adult creates a situation wherein the child has to communicate to solve a problem. You are obstructing their path in some way. Kindness is Key Now, since you are purposefully creating a situation wherein your little one has to solve a problem, it’s very important that you do this kindly! It’s ok if your child becomes mildly frustrated, but we don’t want to make our little ones feel like they are failing. This relates to our discussion in my episode, “Not Too Much Or Too Little: Channeling Goldilocks,” and the fact that infants and toddlers are constantly making assessments about whether something is so difficult that it’s not even worth attempting. We want to make expectations that are within their reach, but at a slightly higher level than where they’re comfortable. The technical term for this is called “scaffolding,” and I think it’s a wonderful visual image – think of creating a little boost for them to get to the next step up. We don’t want the next step up to seem too far away, but we want to expect slightly more than what they’re currently doing. Want to support families with infants and toddlers in a community-based setting, while supporting yourself? Silly Set-Up There are many ways to set up the opportunity to sabotage your older infant or toddler to encourage them to initiate communication. A nice way to think of your role as the “setter-upper” of a sabotage situation is that you are being silly – a routine with a step missing, or a toy with an essential part missing becomes over the top and ridiculous if your little one points out that something’s “wrong,” and you can react with humor. Set Up Temptations Movement and gesture, song and rhyme are all wonderful tools to use with infants and toddlers to help set up an environment conducive to learning, play and interaction. We spoke earlier about setting up “temptations” for communication and using the strategy of sabotage. Now, I think this strategy is a wonderful one when used kindly and as a tool for learning. But that word, sabotage really brings up some negative connotations, as well, as it is defined as the deliberate obstruction or disruption of another. I think perhaps, a better way to think of this strategy is, in a way, a technique for scaffolding: we want our little ones to get to the “next level,” so we place small challenges in front of them to assist in their learning, and to create new opportunities for them. In other words – we have to make it a fun and positive challenge. We spoke about this a bit earlier in our episode, and I modeled a way to make yourself seem silly and ridiculous. In episodes past, we’ve talked about the importance of getting down and dirty with your “silly self,” because it can be a great way to connect and make yourself more interesting. This is no different. If you put your foot down and create a situation wherein your child MUST perform OR ELSE, then the strategy will most likely fail. This is a communication temptation – you are tempting your child to do something. Not forcing them. So, just to be clear, I’m not supporting an “all or nothing” approach. I’m suggesting you try something new out, and see how it goes. Support families to feel confident and build family capacity – with a high quality, evidence-based family enrichment program. Small Steps We also want to encourage small steps toward new skills. If your child has never used the pointing gesture, this is what you can work toward… by modeling that gesture a lot in lots of activities you do or interactions you have, and then as a suggestion that this is what you expect from her. If your child has never said the word, “open,” but is starting to use words or imitate the first sound of a word, work towards that! In other words, we’re not using the art of sabotage to make unrealistic expectations on our little ones. We actually want to use the strategy of sabotage to get our little ones to initiate or do things that they’ve already done before – you are putting this strategy in place to help push them towards a skill that you know they can be successful doing! And if your strategy and your modeling and your set-up of this activity doesn’t work, that’s ok! Try again another time, or in another way! For a clear example of the set-up of an activity that utilizes the strategy of sabotage, and ideas for how to modify your expectations for different developmental levels, visit the corresponding activity, my DIY Box of Communication Temptations. The Right Level On that note, we don’t want to be using this strategy all the time, in every activity we do, all day long. This goes back to being kind, and to trying different things at different times. We don’t want to ask our kids to “perform” all day – that’s not terribly interactive, either. And for some little ones, no matter how kind or silly you might try to be, the fact that you’re creating a new challenge where there was not one before might make her really, really mad and turn her off completely. We don’t want that. We want moderate difficulty, tools in place to make it easier, and a present and kind caregiver. One last note on this – sabotage is most effective when a little one is able to engage in joint attentional acts. We’ve spoken about joint attention in previous episodes, in my bestselling books, and in our “caregiver & me” classes using the Learn With Less® curriculum – it’s that focus between you and your child not only on an object, but also a recognition that you’re both engaged with that object or activity. So, making eye contact, getting your attention with a touch or gesture, vocalizing or verbalizing, etc. Bring families together (virtually or in-person) so they can learn with you and from one another! For more great ideas and information on sabotage & setting up communication temptations: Bowen, C. (2011). Supporting speech and language progress in children with CAS or sCAS. Retrieved from http://www.speech-language-therapy.com/ on June 24, 2016. Mize, L. (2008). A Little Frustration CAN Go A Long Way… Using Sabotage and Witholding Effectively to Entice Your Toddler To Talk. Retrieved from http://www.teachmetotalk.com/ on June 22, 2016. The post How To Use Sabotage To Help Your Young Child Communicate appeared first on Learn With Less.

How do you support a bilingual child? How can you support bilingualism from day one? On this episode of the Learn With Less® podcast, we sat down with Diandra Morse, of Bilingual Playdate and Daring Hearts Counseling. Diandra is a licensed clinical social worker in New York State and a mother of two bilingual children. She supports families exploring bilingual parenting, and shares activities, resources, fun ideas, and methods for raising a bilingual child. We discussed: Diandra’s professional and personal background that brought her to the work she’s doing today The values Diandra feels she is instilling when she thinks about why she’s raising her children to be bilingual What parts of Diandra’s identity are important for her to share with her children through language How Diandra’s work as a social worker plays a role in her ability to be culturally responsive in supporting families in multiple ways (both in Spanish and English) What’s working well in Diandra’s own journey of raising bilingual children, and what parts are more challenging A few of Diandra’s favorite resources for families hoping to share bilingualism or multilingualism with their families Helpful Resources to Acknowledge For This Episode: Rebeca Imberg of BiliKids Kayla Diaz of Bilinguitos Klaudia Johnson of Laleo Therapy Diandra Morse of Bilingual Playdate Mikaela Martinez of Raising Little Goose Learn With Less® Bundle: get our favorite infant and toddler development resources (and save 70%)! Discover how to support and connect with your tiny human, without having to buy a single toy. Learn With Less® Caregiver & Me Classes in both Spanish and English – a developmentally based family enrichment curriculum for caregiver and infant/toddler learning. Classes available both virtually and in-person. Connect With Us: Diandra Instagram  Ayelet: Facebook / Instagram / Pinterest Text Transcript for This Episode Ayelet:  Today I have the pleasure of sitting down with Diandra Morse. Diandra is a licensed clinical social worker in New York State. Her clinical background includes experiences in school advocacy, sexual abuse prevention, healthy relationship building, and supporting bilingual families in Spanish. She is the face behind Bilingual Playdate, which is currently a social media page dedicated to celebrate and encourage bilingualism advocate on behalf of parents for better resources, explore bilingual parenting mental health, and provide intentional target language play ideas that can be easily implemented at home. Bilingual Playdate was born in May 2020 when Diandra was 22 weeks pregnant with a 15 month old toddler at home, and playing was how she and her little ones passed their days. She was reminded quickly that play has always been at the core of her therapeutic work with young children the best way to engage and teach children anything. Playing has been the venue to further develop the language goals of her bilingual home Indian does bilingual home they follow the strategy known as “minority language at home” or MLAH, using Spanish as the primary language in the home. Diandra describes raising bilingual children as an eye-opening experience, even though she herself grew up bilingual so through her work, creating Bilingual Playdate, she’s found it helpful to connect with other families who are in the similar trenches. And she has found it incredibly special to see her love for play bilingual parenting and her professional experiences in mental health combined. So Diandra, thank you so much for joining us here at Learn With Less®. That was a wonderful, you know, bio that you supplied me, but I just want to say number one, welcome. And number two, it’s nice to have that more formal bio reading, but I would love it if you could just, in your own words, tell us about your background, and just really how you got into doing this work that you’re doing today. Being Raised in a Bilingual Environment Diandra: Yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much for having me here. So I grew up in the Dominican Republic. I was born in New York, but my parents, after I was 27 days old, moved us to the Dominican Republic, their home country. Both of my parents are Dominican, and I grew up for the majority of my life in the Dominican Republic. I went to school there, my school was bilingual. And so I was able to learn all day, my classes were not… it wasn’t like half the day in Spanish half today in English, it was more like every other class was in Spanish or every other class was in English. So it was a really interesting dynamic where me and my classmates were constantly switching back and forth in the languages, which was a really cool experience. And then when I was home, my parents do not speak English, and so we spoke in Spanish. And then in the community, it was whatever, you know, whatever language we wanted, whether Spanish or English, depending on who we’re speaking to, and what they were doing. But I really, I was truly raised just switching back and forth between the languages, which I really appreciated. And so I was in the Dominican Republic until I was 16 years old. And then we decided to move to the States. So we moved to New York City so that me and my siblings could finish off our high school careers in the States. We wanted to go to college here. And so I was then I guess, for the second time in my life immersed in one language only because my high school was only in English and New York City. I did interact with a lot of other kids who, like me, were bilingual. That was really neat to see how even in that environment, many of us were still managing and navigating both languages. Following high school, I ended up in upstate New York, attending a college in Buffalo, New York, Hilbrook college is very small, so not a lot of people know it. But I found myself loving everything related to working with people. And I ended up getting a Bachelors of Science degree in Human Services, which then led me to going after graduate school. I went to Fordham University and got a Masters of Social Work degree from Fordham in social work that focused on community problem solving, which was something that I really felt passionate about, I love finding a challenge and finding a solution or, you know, kind of thinking about creatively, how can we figure a problem that someone is experiencing or a community is experiencing and what can we do about it? And so a lot of my work was around that. And so my first job after graduate school was actually working for an agency in New York City that’s called Advocates for Children in New York, and there was an immigrant students rights project that I was able to be the parent advocate. I advocated on behalf of parents who had English language learners in the school system, which was very interesting to me because I had a parent at home, both parents at home, didn’t speak English. And so for me, I was my advocate. I was the one that was doing all the advocacy in school, so it was very cool to be able to do what I wish my parents had when I was navigating high school and then college, like financial aid, like all that information that you just don’t know, if you didn’t go to school here, like that wasn’t a thing in Dominican Republic. Ayelet: Right – well, and which requires a whole other set of vocabulary, even that you’re somewhat familiar with the dominant language, trying to master a whole other set of not only navigating the language system, but all the other systems related to… the educational system, for instance, yeah. Diandra: It was very, very, very rewarding to be able to do that. I felt like I was able to give back something so special that I wish had been something that someone had given our family. But so that was beautiful work. I love doing that I learned so much about the school system. So much about bilingualism, how students are supported or not supported in the school system, how parents are supported or not supported in the school system, and kind of noticed a lot of the gaps. So my time there was very, very, very educational. And I appreciated that that was my first experience right after graduate school as a first time social worker. So then I ended up moving, actually, to upstate New York, because I met my husband in college. So he’s my college sweetheart. And we ended up moving to upstate New York to his hometown. And this is where I live now. And I ended up getting into sexual abuse trauma. And so I started working as a social worker for a not for profit here. And during my time there, that’s really when I was able to really get into not only trauma work, but also Play work, because the population that I was now working with wasn’t able to do one on one therapy in the way that you see in a movie where like someone comes in and they sit down, and they have a conversation with you. It was more three year olds and four year olds and five year olds, that I was having to engage in conversations regarding trauma, boundaries, safety, you know, what does it mean if someone’s being unsafe? How do you ask for help? Like, these concepts, that sure we talk about it with our kids, but are really, really hard for a young child to then be able to really put into practice. And so, I was able to kind of learn how to do that, how to navigate that, and what is the vocabulary of small children, because I wasn’t as familiar with that. And so it was very interesting to be able to have the advocacy lens that I had already. I feel like this is the kind of stuff that a child needs to be able to have a positive, productive life. And how do I then adopt that to communicate that to that child so that that child can advocate for themselves. So I did that for six years, and really, really, really loved it. And I was able to even work with some Spanish speaking families that did come through our program, not many, I wish more, I wish I was able to interact with more. But it was very helpful for me because I also, when I was working with the Spanish speaking families, was able to start learning how to then I talk about this English vocabulary to this family where their culture, this might be so taboo, and we can’t talk about that. How do we even navigate that cultural barrier, so that it can be a positive experience. So I created resources while I was there, that were able to help those family members navigate those conversations with their child. And so that was very, very, very cool. Then I started thinking, well, I want to work with maybe the potential parents of children in this same line of work. Like I really enjoy talking about healthy boundaries, healthy relationships, the world needs more of that. So I ended up finding myself as a violence prevention educator in a college setting. And that was also very fun. Being able to talk to college students about their understanding of what a healthy relationship is, how to set boundaries, what is consent, how do we ask for consent, it felt very rewarding to be able to do that kind of work, because who talks about healthy relationships when you’re young? That’s not a typical, I guess, not normal, normal to me, but not a typical conversation that we’re often engaged in. And so I found myself doing that in a college setting, but still kind of missing…. So that was more educational, so I was missing that mental health piece where I was able to do one on one therapy. So I opened up my own private practice here in upstate New York. It’s called Daring Hearts Counseling. So I was doing kind of both. And at the same time, I was a mom. I was a mom of a six month old boy. And so it was a very busy time and very, very fun to be able to do all the things that I love – being a mom, educating the future generation of adults about healthy relationships and then also being able to tap into that mental health piece that will always be a part of me, but it was starting to feel a little bit more busy than I guess I wanted it to be when I started considering my own child, and my own bilingual parenting goals for him. And so that was where I started being like, wait, I am at working, and I’m doing work that I love. But, my child is being cared for by family we love and caregivers we love, but they’re speaking to him predominantly in English. And if I want him to have any sort of Spanish fluency, he needs to hear Spanish from somewhere. But… that’s just how language works! It’s input and output, like if he doesn’t listen, not going to speak. And I was finding that the hours of the day that I was at home, were starting to feel not enough for me. And so I had to kind of come to a decision that we can like all the things in the world, we can love doing all the things in the world, but maybe we can’t do them all at the same time. And so I decided… Ayelet: Ah, the eternal struggle of early parenthood. Diandra: I wish you could clone, I don’t know, I wish there was a way that you could do all the things that you love, and all the things that you’re interested in, but there’s just no way. And so I had to think about that really, really, really big part of me that I really wanted to pass down and all the things that make me, “me” to my child. And I took a step back from doing the violence prevention education at the college setting and ended up just doing my private practice part time and being able to come home at somewhat what felt like the perfect timing, because I found out I was actually pregnant. And the pandemic that we’re all living through right now, started. And so I guess it was a perfect time for me to be home. That’s kind of how I then found myself at home with my child who was 15 months at that time, and I was 22 weeks pregnant. And I found myself just constantly playing, trying to provide him with as much Spanish vocabulary in a creative way. Because yes, we can have conversations with our kids. But there’s just some vocabulary that they’re never going to hear unless we’re playing with them or we’re doing something specific because no one’s talking about scooping. And you know, there’s just words that you don’t use on a regular basis when you’re interacting with your kids. So to me, play, was the way to maximize that Spanish input that I wanted to provide him that he wasn’t getting previously. Yeah. And so that’s how Bilingual Playdate was born. I wanted to share my play ideas. And I also wanted to find community because the world was on lockdown. So the only community to be found was really online. And in our community, there aren’t many Spanish speaking families. So it wasn’t like, Oh, if there wasn’t a pandemic, then I would be able to have access to this community – I wouldn’t have. So it really was kind of like my safe space, our safe haven that we tapped into when the day started feeling like you know, Groundhog Day where everything’s kind of the same. Bilingualism and Play Development Ayelet: Yes. Diandra, there’s so much there to talk about. And there’s a couple of directions that we could go in right now. But one thing I just want to emphasize is this idea that it all comes back to play, right? And not only is play the framework and the avenue that you used in your work with families and children who’d experienced trauma, for instance, and what you were talking about earlier about how working with families who hold different value systems, for whom maybe certain discussion topics or ways of talking about certain, like you said, taboo subjects… that play was often the way in which you were able to make your point and communicate. And I would actually just love to hear – we didn’t talk about talking about this, but I would love to hear (if you’re comfortable sharing) a little bit more about what that looked like, and how it also just relates to the work that you do now, because you are working, I mean, you affect and you reach families from all different backgrounds, of course, because we’re online, and so it’s wonderful to be able to create content that affects people from all over the world. But I’d love to hear a little bit more about that sort of awareness and cultural responsiveness that your work has made you more understanding and aware of and what role play has in that? Diandra: Yeah, okay, so the first thing that kind of comes to mind. So, one of the things that we used to do with families is kind of explore this idea of boundaries. And no matter what I mean, I think about culture as kind of like your heritage, where you come, from what you are accustomed to, but I also think about – and people forget about this! – I think about family culture. Because your own family has a way of doing things and they have a way of understanding things. And that becomes part of who you are. And sometimes that shows up more than your actual culture like whether you’re Dominican or whether you’re Mexican, you know, and so.. Ayelet: Yeah, and it can all be rooted within a larger culture, sometimes. Diandra: Yeah, sometimes. And so, one of the things that was very interesting to explore was boundaries. And so how do boundaries exist in different family systems? And how do different people understand boundaries, and what is comfortable for you might be uncomfortable for you. Or maybe your parents did this when you were growing up, but now you want to do something different with your kids. And then you have to communicate that. So, how do you communicate that to everybody so that everybody can respect each other’s boundaries? And so, with young children, one of the things that we used to do is we used to think of boundaries as the size of a hula hoop. So, we would do exercises where we would have hula hoops in a room, and then have kids pick out a hula hoop that spoke to them, that attracted them, the color that they liked. So they would go and sit inside the hula hoop that they liked. And then we would relate that to comfort, like, how do you feel in there? Do you feel safe? Do you feel unsafe? How do you know what if… and then we would do a lot of what if this person’s hula hoop was right next to you? Would that be something that makes you feel comfortable or uncomfortable? We did a lot of question and role playing like that. And then like, what if this hula hoop was on top of yours? And we would do this even with families? Like, what if this one was on top of yours? How would that feel? And then we would do a whole activity and a debrief where we would process, like for some people, that would just be too much, too much closeness? And what does that then look like when we’re talking about physical space? When we’re talking about emotional closeness? Like, would it feel different if it’s like, we’re just very close, and we talk about all these things, versus you’re like, in my face, so close to me. And we did a lot of analogies and a lot of observation. It was playful. You know, it was funny, like, Oh, my God, what do you what do you mean that that, you know, hula hoop is going to be on top of me?! How silly is that! But then, we then took that, we had a visual that we could go off of, and then talk about this concept in a more meaningful way for kids, you know? It was funny and it was active, and it made sense to them. So then they could use words like, you’re too close to my space, or you’re too close. You’re in my hula hoop. That’s one of the things that they could say, which is so cute for kids to say, and then what someone’s like, What do you mean, you’re too close to me, and then being able to give them language that they could use practically, or like, let me show you, if I put a hula hoop over over myself, you’re in here, and I don’t want you to be in here. We did that also with bubbles, we would blow bubbles in a room. Then we would say, what would happen if you touch it, and then the bubble will pop. And so let’s pretend that we have a bubble and we’re inside the bubble, what would happen if someone touched it, they were so close that they could touch it. And then they would talk about that experience. And then it allow for them later to be able to then communicate that when you’re so close to me, it feels like you’re invading my personal space. So that was some of the things that I think everyone could understand and relate to, that physical boundary. And then we could talk more about other kinds of boundaries, like emotional boundaries, and how to set them. But it was a way for families and parents, it was like a common language for all when we were all playing, and something that they could replicate at home in a very inexpensive way. Because you know, we could give them bubbles, but they could also get bubbles even at the dollar store. And then… Ayelet: You can replace a hula hoop with like standing inside of a laundry basket or whatever it is. Diandra: Correct, or inside a box, or you know, it would be very simple things that they could do at home that would still communicate personal space, safety, security, and talk about how do we feel we’re in this box? We’re protected. And that’s what we want in our family. And so that’s kind of a two examples that kind of pop in my mind that were very easy for families to do at home, but also were very meaningful for kids. When we were thinking about how do we give them language, they need language to be able to convey how they feel. And maybe they felt like different people have different sized hula hoops. Some people, the older they get their hula hoop gets bigger, and they’re able to tolerate more people in close proximity. Like when they go to a concert, when they are at the movie theaters. There are different events where you are required to have more people around you. But there are times that we don’t need people that are around us, like when we go to the bathroom. And so we were able to kind of then give context using these very practical exercises that we were doing in the office. Raising Bilingual Children: Identity, Culture, and Language Ayelet: I love it, because again, just to drive this home to everyone who’s listening. Play is the way, right? Play is the way that you frame it because that is the common language. I love how you said that. So alright, veering back into the world of bilingualism, which is really primarily the topic that we want to chat about and how it relates to play. I wanted to ask you, too, like from your own personal perspective, what are some of the values that you’re instilling when you think about why you’re raising your children to be bilingual? Because we talked a little bit about this as far as like your identity and why that was so important to you, when you were like, I need this, I need my children to also be bilingual, I want that for them. What parts of your own identity are important to share with them through language? Diandra: The first thing that comes to mind is my parents do not speak English. And so, I am very close to my family, I’m very close to my parents, very close to my sibling. I love that my kids get to see that members of our family speak only one language and some members of our family speak both languages, and that in order to communicate with the members of the family that don’t speak both languages, we need to use different languages. And so I wanted them to understand that relationship. And that it’s not just us lots of people in the world that speak other languages! And I always say that if we were watching TV, and then something will pop up in a different language, and I’ll be like, Oh, that is a different language, you know, like Spanish, English is the language and then Italian is another language. And then I tell them, you know, in another in another country, there’s a little kit that speaks mainly Italian, English and Spanish. So it’s very important to me, for them to understand that there are other people in the world that speak other languages, and that not only Spanish and English exist, even though those are the two that we prioritize. So that’s one of the things that I guess for me, I always was aware of this, because in the Dominican Republic, we share our country with many people from different nationalities, but also right next door, our neighbors are Haiti. And so they speak French Creole. And so we were always exposed to French Creole. And we, I was always aware that there were not only Spanish, but English, but French Creole. And then whoever I interacted with or saw, I knew that they were speaking a different language that wasn’t any of these three that I saw on a regular basis. And so I was always aware of that. And I really, really want my kids to have that awareness. Because in our community right now, they’re not going to be exposed to that very much unless we go out of our ways to show them. Exposure is one of the things that is very important to me, whether that’s through books, movies, whether that is us going out of our ways, and seeking out opportunities that they can hear other languages. So I would say that, so it’s not just like, I want them to dominate and be able to be fluent in both of the languages. But I want them to also be aware and be sensitive to other people speaking other languages, because that’s the world we live in. And it wouldn’t be fair for them to only think like, oh, that person should speak the languages that I speak. I don’t want that mentality for them. I think it’s very important to want acceptance and then give acceptance. Diandra: I want to just pick out another thing that you said within there, because you said exposure is the is that key, but also in, in what you said is connection, right? And it’s not just connection to the two languages, its connection to the people who speak both of those languages, and to the understanding, again, that not everybody speaks those two languages, and that there are so many languages in the world, and that those are all representative of different people and different connections. Ayelet: Yes, that’s awesome. Provide Your Bilingual Child With Language, Food, and Traditions Diandra: And so I think that and then this – when I think about language, and I think, what do I want to give them? I want to give them language, food and traditions. Ayelet: Yeah! Language, food, and traditions – beautiful, yes. Okay. Diandra: So for food, I think about like, you know, my husband and I go out of our ways to prepare Dominican dishes. My husband has learned how to prepare many Dominican dishes. And sometimes I think I’m like, Oh, my God, you cook better than I do? How is it possible? I’m like, is my mom teaching him secretly how to prepare this? Because how can he do this better than I? So we go out of our ways to incorporate that food piece because I think the food provides its own specific language that you can really tap into and inviting our kids into cooking with us and being aware with what goes into what dish I think is just a very special way to let your culture really show up and really give that back. And it’s something that also goes into tradition! There are certain things that you think about when you think about Thanksgiving, you think about a certain set of foods that you are going to have at Thanksgiving dinner, or you know, at Christmas, and we’ve done a really good job in blending both of our cultures and being able to incorporate a little bit of both into even what traditional holidays… because my kids are, they’re bicultural, you know, the medical and they’re American and so and I want both of those cultures to always exist and always dance with each other and never compete. That’s what, if I can give my kids anything it’s like to embrace both of their cultures and to let them be together. You know, I had said something to someone before that sometimes I get a sense of Spanish and English being in competition like that is sometimes what it can feel like when you’re raising a bilingual child in a majority language community can feel like the languages are at odds. So when I think about my own bilingualism, I see them as yin and yang. They’re best friends. They’re constantly interacting with each other. And that’s what I want for my kids when it comes to the languages and the culture. Ayelet: I love that, Diandra. I just love how you said that the It’s a dance, if they are constantly dancing with each other. Love it. It’s great. Diandra: Thank you. So that’s kind of when I think about what’s most important, I want them to be aware and connected to themselves in the larger world, that there are other people in the world that speak other languages different than them, or similar to them. And neither is better. You know, neither, it’s not better to be monolingual or bilingual or trilingual, multilingual, all of it has its positive things, and we have to embrace them. We have to be respectful and sensitive towards people, it is a privilege to be able to pass down or to give your child a language that they don’t actually need to survive. And so I want to always remain sensitive and not feel like everyone should be raising bilingual kids. I think we should be all racing conscious kids, kids that are aware that there are other options and other things in the world and other people, and we can celebrate it all. What Works When Raising Bilingual Children Ayelet: Oh, man. That’s it. Exactly. There’s nothing else. Okay, so on that note, let’s hear just a few of the things that are working well for you! These things that you’ve identified as far as the playfulness, the musicality, and creating community and things like that, in your family. And then some of the things that are like presenting themselves as more difficult because you mentioned like it is, yes, it is a privilege to raise our children, bilingual, multilingual, multicultural, as well. So what are the things that are going well, and easy or easy for you? What’s working? And then what are some of the things that are showing themselves to be a little harder? Diandra: So, start with the positive. So I’ll start with what’s going on. So what’s going really well is that we’re still playing, I think my kids have a pretty good association with “Spanish is fun. And we love Spanish.” And both of my kids are Spanish dominant. So that means that they both speak predominantly Spanish, my oldest who’ll be three in February is very aware that there are multiple languages, he’s very aware that there’s English and Spanish, and he’ll say, how do you say this in English? Or if someone tells him something in English, he’ll be like, how do you say that in Spanish? And he’s very curious, and I love that. So I think like we planted the seeds of curiosity about language, or even like when someone is speaking not Spanish, not English, he’ll ask, what are they saying? Like, what are they speaking? Which is what I wanted. So he knows that other things exist. So that is going really well. They’re very engaged in language learning, they love learning, they love playing. My husband’s Spanish fluency has skyrocketed because he is immersed in Spanish all day, every day. Ayelet Marinovich: And let’s just call attention to that. Like he’s not a native Spanish speaker. He’s learned Spanish. Diandra: Yes, he’s not a native Spanish speaker. He when I met him in college, he had taken Spanish in high school, like most people in the States. And so he was aware, he knew that I was speaking Spanish, and he was aware and he had worked for a while at Disney. So his ear was very open to language from that experience, but our relationship was mostly in English, except for when he interacted with my families, l, he would say little things here and there. But since having children, his Spanish, like, I mean, he says, like Spanish is my love language with my children. Like, that’s all he’s ever spoken to them. And so he really, really connects on that level, like Spanish to him means the relationship he has with his kids. And so he will, and he says, like, I’ll continue to work on it, because I want to preserve that, like, that’s how I feel connected to them. So even like, sometimes I’ll be like, Oh, well, when we’re around family, we’ve we’ve explored the idea of like switching to English while we’re with family, and he’s just like, it just feels so unnatural. And like, I know, because we’re so used to it, but we’re figuring out what we’re going to do with that. Very interesting. I’m fascinated by that. Because I’m so you’re switching back from my whole life that it’s easy for me to like, it feels unnatural, like awkward, I guess a little bit weird, like speaking in English to my kid, because they’re looking at me, like, what are you doing? But I can do it. I don’t think twice about it. But he gets more like hung up like, Wait, that’s not what we do. Like, that’s not my relationship with them. I don’t really want to do that. And so it’s so interesting to hear that from a non native speaker that they feel so deeply connected to language that it means the relationship they have with their child. Ayelet: That’s incredible. Yeah. Raising Bilingual Children is Not Always Easy Diandra: So I’ve got really well I love seeing that relationship just blossom in another language. So I always say it’s so interesting to see you parent and your second language and so he’s he’s pretty fluent. Yeah, I always be Yeah, I’m like I’m so shocked that like I didn’t I guess we never, you never know what to expect, you know, sometimes, for many families, it can feel overwhelming for the parent that isn’t a native speaker to now have to do this, you know, in the language that they don’t feel most comfortable in. But we have seen it, that it can work, but it is it is a lot, a lot, a lot of work. And so I guess that’s kind of where, if I think about the difficulty, it’s like, it’s a lot of work to stay present, and to stay on it. Because at the end of the day, we all have so much English practice. And like even for myself, after I moved from the Dominican Republic, my professional interactions, my professional education, my trainings have all been in English. And my point person will always continue to be my parents and my grandma. That’s who I speak Spanish to. Prior to having kids, they were my only – then whenever I had family here and there that I spoke to in Spanish, that’s my whole Spanish, you know, since moving to the United States. And now I’m back to full time Spanish and sometimes English. So it’s very interesting how fluid that goes. But it is difficult. It is a lot of work. A lot of times it falls on us because we’re the only input that they have, especially in a pandemic where you don’t have the ability to interact with other people or travel. So it’s been that’s I guess, the difficult part like navigating that whole process that it’s all on us. We’re the only input, finding a large community of other parents who are either Spanish speaking or even non native, but raising their kids bilingually. That’s been tricky. We don’t have a lot of that. We’ve been lucky to find three other families in our area, that we’ve connected with but even that, even though we love the connection, and everything like that, it’s hard because everybody has different bilingual goals for their kids. And everybody does bilingualism in the way that fits their own family. Sometimes it’s not the same as yours. And sometimes like even though my family language plan might be minority language at home, someone else’s might be one parent, one language, or it might be mixed. But at the end of the day, no matter what anyone’s family language plan, what I love is that my kid gets to see my kids, both of them, get to see that other people are also speaking other languages in their home, and that they’re able to be, they can connect on that level of like, we do things different than maybe someone else. And that’s I think, that’s a special thing, when we find someone who’s going through the same things as us, we feel seen, and we feel that we’re not the only ones and that is so powerful for people to stay connected and rooted in what’s important to them. Ayelet: Let’s just also say again, just to emphasize none of those ways of doing it like as in both parents speaking the minority language at home, or as we might call it L1 – language one, versus one language two, right? And one parent, one language, for instance, which just just to call out to people who are maybe not as familiar with these terms. One parent one language is just as it sounds as in, one, like Diandra would be speaking Spanish. And for instance, maybe her partner would be speaking English, if that was the way that we’re doing it, for instance, and that there is no right or wrong way. It is the right way for your family. Diandra: For sure. It’s the right way for your family. And each way has different results. But again, it all goes back to your own goals. You’re like, well, you want to get out of it. And so people have to do what works for them. And in different seasons, people change their plans. Yeah, it’s so fun that it’s just a plan, it’s a plan for right now. But it could be – we might have a different plan once they start school or, you know, life changes! And so you never know. That’s kind of like the fun part. I I enjoy that we’re so committed to our plan, but it is difficult for other people to understand for your language plan sometimes so what your family wants to do. Because you know, there is always concern there sometimes I guess concern around the English because at the end of the day, most kids in the United States go to school in English, and so we’ve experienced a lot of commentary around well what about English or are you not nervous about English? Is he going to be delayed? Are they going to be… there’s just a lot of misinformation out there when it comes to bilingualism because it’s not really the norm in the United States. And so we’ve had to spend time educating ourselves so that we can advocate on behalf of our children but also educating other people and that can feel exhausting sometimes to be honest, it can feel really exhausting having to defend something that you know is important to you and that also is going to be okay. So yes I think that that has been difficult for me and my husband too. Concerns When It Comes to Raising Your Children Bilingually Ayelet: That is hard. That is hard and I want to just say also like to point out something that you said the Diandra which is that is not done norm in the United States. There are many places, your own upbringing included, where bilingualism, multilingualism is the norm. And just to also clarify that delay and disorder, like unless there is any kind of delay or disorder, for instance, presenting itself in that first language, there’s not going to be in the second language. So that in and of itself, just to clarify, is a misnomer. Diandra: Yeah, bilingualism does not cause delays direct speech delay, it does not cause any kind of delay, whatever, you can master one language, it translate to the next language if you were taught that, but kids can’t produce things that they’re not taught. So you can’t expect a Spanish speaking child to know how to say a word in English if they’re not taught that word. Yeah, this that, that can happen. Babies can’t produce language unless they’re taught language. And so it’s the same thing with your wherever speaking toddler, Ayelet: Yeah, right, right. And like all of the things that we’ve been discussing this entire process, your toddler, for instance, is very much aware of different languages. That is a wonderful, that’s exactly where he should be right? Like, that’s amazing. Anyway, I just want to clarify all of that. And that that is, like you said, that is not the norm in the United States. But that does not mean that again, back to the awareness of different cultures with different experiences and different language models, just because one place does it one way doesn’t mean that it’s the only way to do it. Diandra: Yeah. So I guess that has been just something that for me, who was raised bilingual, and who was raised where like, both of my languages were celebrated always. And my parents even tried for us to learn French, you know, we started learning it in ninth grade in the Dominican Republic, just like kids started learning Spanish, but I already had two languages when I was starting to learn a third language. And so if it was up to my parents, I would have continue on with that, but I was good with my Spanish and English. But I think that I was raised that you celebrate any language, extra language ability or acquisition that your child has. And so to then trying to raise bilingual children in the United States and then being interfaced with… it feels like a little bit of pushback like for why doesn’t he speak English? First, it’s not the it’s not the problem isn’t to speak, to speak more than one language. The problem that I keep feeling is actually the root of the problem, if I put my therapists thinking cap on, I would see like, it seems like the problem is that they’re not speaking English first. If they were speaking English first. And then Spanish was the language that we then were introducing later, it would look different, but because Spanish is the language first and English is going to come second, there’s this uncomfortable feeling around it, which I don’t know, I don’t I try not to think too much about it. But you feel it, you feel it when you know, you’re at the grocery store, and you’re speaking Spanish and someone’s looking at you weird or in a different way. Or when you’re in no English, mostly monolingual setting and it’s English, and it’s a group setting, and you like turn, and you’re talking to your child and the language that you both communicate, and and everyone is kind of wondering, why are you not also speaking to them English, even though you know, you have your own family plan and stuff. So that is, that’s been the interesting kind of thing. For me, it’s been an eye opening experience. And that’s why kind of I called it that, because my parents want to talk to them about this. They’re like, what, like, they don’t even can’t even relate. They’re like, we never worried about Spanish or English, or one taking over one causing a problem. Like, we just wanted you to have more than one. And so, it’s so interesting what their bilingual parenting experience was, and then what my bilingual parenting experience is raising bilingual children. Yeah. And so it just, it’s interesting to have that perspective, and that’s kind of what’s led me to do more of the supportive mental health content on Bilingual Playdate for parents that’s really resonating with a lot of people, because it’s very hard to go against the grain and to stay rooted in that this is going to be worth that this is going to, you know, yield the resource that I want. And for my research and educating myself on what that process is like for people here, because I didn’t grow up in the United States, so I don’t know what that must have been like for a lot of people. But what I have started to really understand is that a lot of immigrant parents are pushed to not pursue the home language with their children, because of this fear that they won’t learn English, they’ll have an accent, they won’t be able to be understood. And a lot of language loss has happened as a result of that. And it breaks my heart, and so if I can do anything to support other families like mine who are in the trenches right now trying to figure out what the best way is to support their child and to keep their home language alive. That’s what I want to do. Whether that’s through play whether that is through I see you, I hear you, I’m here with you. Whether that is through send me a message let’s connect let’s think about outside the box. Let me connect it to other people that are professionals and know the information about this. I’ll do whatever. I want to protect… I, it breaks my heart to think that there are generations of families that can’t communicate with each other because someone felt that incorporating another language would be a threat to English or to whatever the majority language was at that place. Yeah. Resources for Raising Bilingual Kids Ayelet: All right. Well, on that note, let’s hear we’d love for you to share a few of your favorite resources, including Bilingual Playdate, for instance, for families hoping to share bilingualism, multilingualism with their families. Diandra: Yeah, so I’ll go through the points that I talked about, and then who I would go to. So on Instagram, there is an account by Rebeca Imberg, she actually lives in Germany and she is a trilingual mom. She speaks Spanish (first language), German, and English and her account is @biliki_ds when I’ll send you that information too. Ayelet: We’ll put it in the show notes for sure. Diandra: Okay, perfect. So she is a linguist she is who I would 1,000% and anyone to who is thinking about bilingualism and wants to create a family language plan. That is who I learned family language plan from, that who I go to and I have questions about what we’re doing, if this is a strategy we need to do or if she should be nervous and what to do with, when it comes to the time for school. So that’s where I would call Rebecca is a wealth of information. Also go to Kayla Diaz from bilinguitos. So she is also a linguist. She also talks about family language planning, but she also offers Spanish Immersion School Online and so there’s a lot of Spanish play so right up our alley when it comes to Spanish intentional play and then also having a community because you can have your child so my oldest has done some of her classes and he can see other kids speak Spanish and say, Oh my god, Mom! There’s another kid that speak Spanish. And I know there are many kids that speak Spanish, I promise you. It is not just you or like your two other friends that live here. There’s so many I promise. And so it’s so helpful. She is parent & me like baby classes says that families can join us. So I really I really like Rebecca, Kayla, to connect I love Klaudia Johnson from laleo.bilingual.therapy and she is also another speech language therapist, like you. But she focuses on bilingual language development and she will scream at the top of the mountains that bilingualism does not cause any language delays. And so if anyone is curious or has any concern regarding their child’s bilingualism and their language development, that’s who I would refer to or go to. And then obviously Bilingual Playdate, but I also create bilingual resources Spanish and English I help creator and translate, I guess, more like translating so Mikaela Martinez from Raising Little Goose. She is a project based teacher, and she creates educational resources for parents and I guess teachers could use also in their classrooms. And so me and her connected and I’m working on translating many of her resources so that Spanish speaking families can have access to it because not many of us will be able to send our kids to school in Spanish. But we can do these things at home and we can continue to incorporate play at home and keep our language alive. Ayelet: Beautiful. Oh my gosh, I can’t wait for people to check out all of these amazing resources. I was so happy to see I’m already following most of those people on Instagram as well. So go check out all of those amazing accounts and resources. There’s so much for all of you. Diandra, is there anything else that you would like to share? I’m so pleased that we’ve had this opportunity to chat. Diandra: Oh my god, me too. I’m so excited that we were able to do this and that we’re raising awareness and talking more about this because it’s so important for this message to get out there. The only thing I can think about is, I just want to send whoever’s listening, whether you are a bilingual family yourself or raising bilingual children or you know a bilingual person just to take the time to give yourself a pat on the back and say, you’re doing the best job with your child and their bilingualism, and you know, it is hard work and it’s going to take a lot of your time and perseverance to keep doing it but it’s going to be worth it. I have never felt regret from speaking two languages and being able to help multiple people like I’ve never, you know, there’s not going to be a sense of regret and so I just want to continue to encourage people to do that to give that gift and and to celebrate you because it is – so much falls on the parents, so much falls on the family, and I want it to be known that the parents are at the core of whether a language can be passed down or not. Ayelet: Thank you for that. Everyone, please go and join Diandra over @bilingualplaydate on Instagram and see all of the amazing things that she puts into the world. We’re so excited to see you next time. Thank you. Diandra  Thank you. Ayelet: Are you an educator or therapist looking for new ways to serve families, to use your knowledge to support new parents and caregivers in your community, I’d love for you to check out the Learn With Less® Facilitator Training & Certification Program. When you submit your application, we’ll make sure you’re a good fit. If you are, I’ll be gifting you my exclusive, private training all about how to create lasting impact leading “caregiver & me” classes with a high quality, evidence-based, “plug and play” program that will have families coming back again and again. All you need to do to get an invitation, is fill out the quick application form at learnwithless.com/certification Now, I’d love to know more about you: does this work call to you? Do you already serve families in your community in a similar way? Send me a direct message on Instagram – I’m @learnwithless and I’d love to hear from you! The post How This Bilingual Parent Supports Bilingualism in Early Childhood, with Diandra Morse, LCSW appeared first on Learn With Less.