STTNGeez! Not Another Star Trek Podcast!

Waiting all summer to find out where your favorite Trek team disappeared to (unless that team consisted of Lt. Worf)? Well if you weren’t sure, it was Nineteen Century San Francisco-Paramount and things get wacky as Jean Luc, Bevahlee, Riker, Geordi, Data, Guinan adventure it up -- say, who’s running the ship anyway? Oh, right -- Worf. Sad trombone for our favorite Klingon! Seems some energy vampiring aliens are feeding old Earth losers to some kind of energy god, or mother, or I don’t know, don’t try to get me to explain that part of it. Last time we saw our intrepid crew in a cave, following some aliens through a very slowly closing energy rift… wait a minute, I almost forgot, Troi was there too! Troi and the rest of our Enterprise cast, (save Worf), land back in old San Fran and do what we’ve been begging the show to do for five seasons -- an original series adventure! They pretend to be a traveling acting troupe for room and board as they hide out in a hospital to nab the energy sucking aliens -- PANT PANT. Meanwhile, ol Samuel Clemmens is snooping big time and still following our crew to that cave -- no, no, not the cave on PLANET WHATEVER, the cave in San Francisco where they found Data’s head! That cave. They go back there, have an alien encounter where Whoopie gets p’owned and everyone but Picard and Whoopie, (everyone including Mark Twain) gets zapped up into the future, then way UP into the Enterprise! PANT PANT PANT!  This old author goes all Alice Through the Looking Glass as Picard boob-holds Whoopie and tries to figure a way to get out of the 1800’s and back to his Galaxy Class Ship! Will Geordie be able to reassemble his best buddy, Data? Will Riker and Worf blow up some aliens (and maybe their Captain?) Will we finally get to learn why Guinan and Picard are so close? No, no, we don’t learn that, we never learn that.) Find out on this exciting episode of ST: TNGEEZ, Not Another Star Trek Podcast! Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

The USS Reliant under the command of Capt Terrell and First Officer Pavel Chekov is searching for a barren planet to use as a testbed for Genesis, a terraforming device. By sheer coincidence, they end up finding Khan and his followers who are rightly pissed. Ceti Alpha V turned out to be a hellhole, one McGivers could not survive, and now Khan and company are eager to capitalize on the opportunity to escape. Khan sticks creatures in Terrell’s and Chekov’s bodies, and the men hand over Reliant as well as spill the beans on Genesis. Khan sees the opportunity to use this lucky turn of events as a way to get sweet, sweet revenge on his nemesis, Jim Kirk, now an admiral and feeling his age. While on a training cruise with a ship full of cadets, Kirk receives a distress message from his old flame Dr. Carol Marcus who also happens to be the creator of Genesis. He warps to her rescue, unknowingly heading straight into Khan’s trap. Will Kirk be able to best his old foe? Will new officer Lt. Saavik be up for the challenge? Will Kirk and his newfound son David share hair care secrets?  Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

Dave and Andrew take stock of season 5 sharing their best and worst of TNG! This episode rocks!  Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

The Enterprise D heads back to earth when a routine seismic retrofit of San Francisco uncovers something shocking. It’s Data’s flippin’ head, all severed and covered with dirt! Imagine Data’s surprise since his head is still attached to his body! He and the crew are going to have to get their heads in the game to figure out how it ended up buried there back in the 19th century. Everyone is out of their heads with worry, but they work the case. Picard orders them to Devidia II when Troi hears voices in her head telling her humans are being abducted. When Data is excluded from the Away Team investigating, Picard explains they’re keeping him on board in an attempt to head off fate, but wouldn’t you know it, circumstances lead Data down to the planet. Our stalwart android keeps a cool head, but the rest of the crew lose theirs when he disappears! Before you know it, we see Data in 19th century San Francisco, meeting up with Guinan and going head to head with one Samuel Clemons (aka Mark Twain). Back in the 24th century, Guinan tells Picard he needs to head up the Away Team going after Data, and he does, leading them all straight into a glowing alien portal. There’s trouble ahead on this all-new episode of ST:TNGeez, Not Another Star Trek Podcast! Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

We’ve spent the last four seasons of Star Trek the Next Generation watching our intrepid crew get there asses zapped and this time it’s John Luc Picard’s turn! Seems the Enterprise is connected with a mysterious satellite or probe or object thingy that sends a ray of xxxx right into our Captain, knocking his ass out! Picard wakes up on a planet where he’s known as Kamen. Seems Kamen is an every man in the village of Ressik and he has a wife! At first JLP believes he’s a prisoner -- This is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife! Same as it ever was, same as it ever was… Oh, sorry. After some exploring, and questioning, and trying to escape he eventually, eventually (after five years) accepts his wife, his new community, and his new self as Kamen, but uh oh, Kaman’s Planet, Kataan is dying and as Jean Luc-Kamen gets older, he has to come to terms with all that this life has to offer including, raising children, the death of his beloved wife, and the knowledge that his grandchild won’t get to live a full life -- Kaman’s doomed and this whole thing is a simulation, man! And in this life, you’re on your own -- and when the elevator tries to break you down, go crazy… Wait, where was I? Will Picard find a way back to his U.S.S. Enterprise -- does he even want to return? Will the Crew of the Enterprise be able to un zap there Captain’s zapped ass? Is this the greatest episode of Trek, ever? Find out on this all new re-watch episode of STTNGeeeeeeeeez! Not another Star Trek Podcast! Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

Just when you thought it was safe to use the Transporter again… In an attempt to help a stranded Romulan ship,  Geordi and Ensign Ro Larin are phased into ghost mode! The rest of the crew grapples with what they think is the deaths of two of our favorite characters. Data plans a funeral for his best friend Geordi while Worf celebrates. Riker laments and may or may not have feelings for Ensign Ro Larin he wants to share. Captain Picard keeps his upper lip stiff while Geordi has to convince Ro they ain’t dead! Once she is convinced, it’s team La Forge and Ro working together, figuring, and even touching each other a couple of times! Just when you think they’ve got it figured — plot twist (try not to sing that part)! There’s a Romulan in the same state of phasery, and he’s conspiring to commit some murder. All the while the Romulans are plotting, and scheming, scheming and plotting (Really, they’re Romulans. This is what they do). But, these pointy-eared bastards are actually scheming to blow up the U.S.S. Enterprise! Will Geordi and Ro be able to outrun their rogue nemesis? Will they be able to communicate from their Phase-State to Data so he can zap their asses back into existence in time to save the Enterprise? All of this exciting adventure on Episode 23, Season Five, of ST:TNGeez, Not Another Star Trek Podcast! Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

Ever wish Star Trek was a show about two little girls being besties? Then this is the episode for you! It’s “Imaginary Friend” on this all-new episode of ST:TNGeez, Not Another Star Trek Podcast, and it’s coming at you right about . . . Is there anything worse than a barrel on the Enterprise? Well, how about a glowy light? Yeah, it’s another one of those, but this time it isn’t taking over Data and O’Brien or knocking up Troi. This time, it’s becoming a lonely girl’s imaginary friend (that would be a great name for an episode!). It seems Clara’s dad has been dragging her all over the damned galaxy, and she's feeling the effects. Seems the poor thing doesn’t have any friends. Sad, right? The glowy light being thinks so, too, so it decides to take the form of Clara’s fantasy pal, Isabella. Sounds sweet until Isabella starts showing signs that she may want more from the Enterprise than a new bestie. Will Troi be able to help a lonely girl find her place on the ship? Will Picard be able to make meaningful contact with yet another entity? Will Worf stop scaring the living shit out of all the children on board? Find out in this all-new episode of ST:TNGeez Not Another Star Trek Podcast! Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

After a near disaster on a Ferengi vessel, our favorite butt-headed villains sneak on board to uncrack a glow-energy egg in which Kamala, an empathic metamorph, comes cracking out -- and this little alien is hard boiled! Seems Kamala is in the process of finis’ral, a stage of transformation in which her body is emitting heavy doses of pheromones and she’s skunking up the whole ship with that stink! This was all supposed to be used on her arranged husband-to- be but instead it erects every male crew member she comes in contact with on the ship, even our Captain! (I guess they’re done with the gay stuff on this show, because no ladies get aroused ! One and done, know what I mean!) Seems JLP gets a little crush on Famke, I mean Kamal and they start vibing with each other even though Kamala is an arranged marriage that will heal war between two planets -- two flipping planets, Dave!! Beverly calls it slavery, Picard calls it culture, Riker calls in for some alone time on the Holodeck! All of this and somehow more on this  exciting episode of ST:TNGeez, Not Another Star Trek Podcast! It’s Season 5, Episode 21 -- “The Perfect Mate” Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

This episode has it all! An exciting opening where the Enterprise saves Tessen III from a rogue asteroid! The return of fan favorites Alexander and Lwaxana Troi! A bunch of kooky holodeck characters who can juggle and shake dat ass! And mud bath after mud bath! So much mud! You won’t believe all the mud! After being knocked around and paralyzed so far this season, Worf is further humiliated when we see what a terrible father he is...again. His conflicts with the willful-but-still-adorable toddler Alexander are made worse when Troi’s mother Lwaxana comes to visit. Seems she’s found herself a new husband and plans to get married on Starfleet’s own Love Boat, the Enterprise. But she still has time to interfere with her daughter’s efforts to teach Worf how to be a good dad because of course she does. All this, and yet another shiny entity wrecks havoc on the ship to give the rest of the cast something to do. Will Deanna be able to mend relations between Worf and Alexander? Will Data and Geordi be able to stop the fairy lights from destroying the ship? Will someone please shove me into an airlock and shoot me out into space, so I can enjoy the soothing peace of the vacuum of the void?  Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

Were you like me, thinking, say I wonder what young Wesley Crusher is up to? Is he surfing the galaxy fantastic with his pal The Traveler? Has he gone off to join the cast of Stand By Me, Too — Still Standing By You? Or has he launched a boy band — it’s the 90’s after all! Wesley and the Crushers! No, no, and no — none of that happened. Instead, we go to Earth in this episode and find “Cadet Crusher” at Starfleet and almost dead! That’s right! Wesley was in an accident and almost died. That accident, the one where he almost died… Well, things aren’t exactly adding up and Wesley and the rest of Nova Squadron are under inquiry because a cadet died during their maneuvers! Nova Squad’s leader, Nicholas Locarno, leans on the surviving cadets, Wesley included, to keep the details of their “Yeager Loop” maneuver fuzzy. It takes Starfleet, Captain Picard and crew, and some help from My Favorite Martian to untangle the truth. Will Wesley Crusher have the moral courage to stand up for what’s right and make the title of this episode make sense? Will Picard be able to express the heartfelt gratitude for his own moral foibles? Will Gates McFadden, one of the finest actors on the show, be asked to sit on her hands and fret all episode? Find out in this exciting new episode of ST:TNGEEZ! Not Another Star Trek Podcast. Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

Talk about starting an episode with a bang! In one of the most thrilling teasers ever, we see the Enterprise D blow up reeeeeeeal good! So what are we supposed to do for the next 45 minutes? How about we go back to before the explosion and find out what happened? Sounds like fun until the ship blows up again! And again! And . . . Okay, we get it. There’s a problem. Seems the Enterprise is caught in one of those pesky time loops, and it’s up to the crew to try and break free, or they’ll just keep blowing up forever! How annoying of a show would that be? Fortunately Beverly Crusher seems tuned into what’s happening and is able to get the rest of the command crew working on a solution. Will the crew find a way to escape the time loop? Will Riker ever be able to bluff Bev? Will Picard finally decide when he’s going to wear that God damned sweater? Find out in this exciting new episode of ST:TNGeez, Not Another Star Trek Podcast! Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

A once theoretical “Null Space” has been found – theoretical? Maybe, but Null plus Null always equals Null!  A race of androgo-noians – talk about NULL! The Enterprise swings its “D” into uncharted territory and takes on the brave new world of gender politics for the first time! Talk about boldly going. (The fans were begging for the show to address gay characters – fans, please, stop begging!) After all,  we had Riker playing second in command to the Matriarch in “Angel One” in Season One! Remember all that Frakes nipple play? If that wasn’t enough gender-bending, this time ol’ Johnny falls in love with a J’nailian who doesn’t play by normal J’nailian rules – she’s GAAAAAAAY for Johnny! By the way, they’ve lost their shuttle in some null space and need the Enterprise to enter that Null space, carefully! Be careful on the entry… and PULL their shuttle safely out! So, Riker and this J’nailian get crammed into a Starfleet shuttle and sparks fly – this time Rikes ass is getting zapped but in a good way! Riker is smitten by this non-gendering space… person! Will Next Gen be able to navigate the complications of gender assignment in 1992? Will Riker get to expose his bare chest to the J’nailian? Will they ever get that shuttle out of null-space? What the fuck is Null Space anyway? Find out in this new exciting adventure on ST:TNGeez! Not Another Star Trek Podcast! Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

Ever wanted to see Worf’s feet? Good news, shrimpers, because they are on display in “Ethics”! That’s right! It’s an all-new episode of ST:TNGeez, Not Another Star Trek Podcast, and it’s coming at you right about . . . NOW! We’ve seen Worf battle all manner of Galaxy-class opponents--from Romulans to Ferengi to Borg--but in this episode, he meets his greatest enemy! BARRELS! Giant ass barrels filled with space stuff that fall off a shelf and crush his spine! Ouch! Good thing it’s the 24th century, so they can wave a glow wand at him and fix him right up. Except they can’t because no one has ever bothered to heal a sick Klingon. Seems those ridge-headed nuts prefer to commit ritual suicide rather than live with any limited mobility. Worf requests Riker’s assistance in the ritual, putting their friendship to the ultimate test along with Riker’s cultural sensitivity. The tension gets tenser when Dr. Toby Russel comes aboard eager to test her unproven treatments regardless of the risk to her patients, even if they’re named Worf, and Bev ain’t having it. All this and Alexander, the most adorable Klingon, just wants to see his dad! Will Worf ever walk again? Will Riker get over himself and honor his friend’s request? Will Troi ever get paid for all these hours babysitting? Find out in this all-new episode of ST:TNGeez, Not Another Star Trek Podcast! Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

The Enterprise is scooting around the galaxy when they get a . . . wait for it . . . distress call! The call is only confirmed by the resident empath’s big feelings. Seems a starship went down on the M-Class moon of Mab-Bu IV 172 years ago! But hey, wouldn’t all those people be dead by now? That is unless they had some old-ass Vulcan on board, right? (DId I say, “Went down on Mab-Bu IV”? I did. Yes, I did.) Unfortunately, the crew of the Enterprise D is unable to beam down to the moon’s surface because of electromagnetic whirlwinds or E.M.W.’s, which nobody calls them. So, it’s shuttle time, and the small one at that –’cause of all the E.M.W.’s probably – they play havoc on those big shuttle craft. Riker, Data, and Troi to the rescue, but before they know it, they crash on the Mab-Bu-ian moon. O'Brien beams down, and they all  get their asses zapped! (Say, Riker hasn’t had a good ass-zaping in a long time!) When the away team gets back up top ship-side, it seems they aren’t the away team they were before going away, well, everyone except Riker. Very quickly we learn--thank you, Ensign Ro--that Team Baddie has hijacked Troi, Data, and Miles, and these bastards are ruthlessly snatching hostages and taking over the ship! Will a possessed Miles O'Brien phaser his new born baby? Will Troi show her badass acting chops? Will Data pop Picard’s head like a flipping Pez dispenser? Find out on this next exciting episode of ST:TNGEEZ! Not Another Star Trek Podcast Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

One thing we can’t get enough of is kids in space! If that’s something you enjoy as well, then join us for “Hero Worship” . . .  Remember the last episode where we got to watch Worf play awkward father to his son, Alexander? Now watch Data play awkward surrogate-father to some kid named Timothy! Seems young Timothy is the sole survivor of a science vessel investigating a “black cluster,” whatever the fuck that is. All we know is everyone on board is dead except Timothy, and the fresh-faced tween is seriously traumatized. So much so that he retreats from his feelings by deciding he’s now an emotionless android just like Data! How is the crew of the Enterprise supposed to figure out what happened to Timothy’s parents if he won’t talk about it? By ordering Data to get the kid to lean into it in hopes that he’ll start sharing. This brilliant idea is courtesy of renowned child expert Captain Jean-Luc Picard, former child hater-turned-Mr. Rodgers-in-space. He even has a sweater to change into! Will the crew discover the mystery of what destroyed the science vessel? Will Data get a new job grooming young boys’ hair? Will anyone ever realize that having children on a spaceship is a really dumb idea? Find out on this exciting, all-new episode of ST:TNGeez!  Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

The Enterprise is coursing around the galaxy when they’ve been asked to aid in some propulsion event that Geordi gets a space bone about when something even more exciting happens… Worf’s Mom shows up and his son! Hold onto your seats everyone, this space adventure is about to get all up in your… responsibilities! That’s right, just like in the original series when Kirk rolled up his sleeves and was about to get to fist-cuffing, when his five year old son shows up and… wait, that didn’t happen! Or remember when the original crew had to figure out how to save a death engine from eating another planet and suddenly the episode became all about day care? Wait! That didn’t happen either. It’s Worf bonding with Alexander, his son, who he could give two Klingon shits about, or KLARTS — Picard’s got his jacket back on again and doing his best to coach his Klingon Security Commander when everyone including Bev, his teacher, are all   But hey, this episode has a gnarly warp wave! An exploding spaceship, and the bridge… it rocks and people fall out of their chairs! — including Deana Troi! Oh no! Troi, I think she might have bruised her Telepathy! And her hip! All this and Skeletor is back! Skela-flipping-tor! Can you believe it? Skeletor from Worf’s Holodeck calisthenics program! Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

Ever wanted to time travel right onto the bridge of your favorite Galaxy-Class starship? Hey, us, too, but we’ll have to settle for watching Max Headroom do it in “A Matter of Time” on this all-new episode of ST:TNGeez . . . NOW! The Enterprise is on its way to Penthara IV for an emergency rescue mission when Worf notices a temporal anomaly has left something behind. Picard tells Ensign Felton to flip the bitch, and before yo u know it, he has to take a jump to the left (or is it a step to the right) to allow Berlinghoff Rasmussen to beam aboard. Our new friend claims to be a historian from the 26th century here to hang out and ask some questions and generally be a pain in the ass. Picard seems amused enough at the start, but Rasmussen quickly gets on everyone’s nerves. He keeps poking around and dropping cryptic hints while the crew is trying to save a planet from the after effects of an asteroid’s impact. Rasmussen claims he’s on board to witness history, but he just might have an ulterior motive. Will Geordi and Data be able to cobble together a solution that will save Penthara IV? Will Worf get to backhand Rasmussen? Will our visiting time traveller get to make some time with our beloved Bev? Find out in this exciting new episode of ST:TNGeez, Not Another Star Trek Podcast. Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

Have you ever wanted to watch Mr. Spock go to meeting after meeting after meeting? Then do we have an episode for you! It’s “Unification, Part II” and it’s an all-new episode of ST:TNGeez, Not  . . . NOW! Last time, we waited a whole episode to catch a glimpse of Mr. Spock on Romulus. This time we get a whole episode full of him. Here’s Spock in a cave, talking. Here’s Spock in a restaurant, talking. Here’s Spock in some guy’s office, talking. And all the while, Picard and Data are there, sometimes dressed as Romulans, and sometimes not, talking to Spock. So what’s all the talk about? Why reuniting the Vulcans and the Romulans into one big, happy, pointy eared family. It seems like there’s a movement on Romulus to make it happen with Senator Pardek promising to connect Spock to all the right people, like a group of  eager citizens and a smarmy Proconsul. Sounds good, doesn’t it? I mean, it’s not like the Romulans would be plotting anything underhanded, right? Right? In the meantime, Riker and the rest of the cast are trying to figure out who stole a Vulcan ship from a junkyard. Wait, did we say “Vulcan ship”? A Vulcan ship goes missing while Spock, Picard, and Data are on Romulus talking about reunification? Meh. Probably just a huge coincidence. Anywho . . . Will Picard uncover the Romulan plot? Will Data find a new friend in this old ass Vulcan? Will Spock ever shut the fuck up? Jolan true, Dave! Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

The Enterprise and crew have been coursing around the galaxy, watching dying stars, corking up ship-in-bottle catastrophes, and trying not to have sci-fi adventures -- like in the original series with Kirk and Spock and shit. They aren’t going to have any of that here, either, but they will have Spock. Kinda. Maybe. After receiving news that the venerable ambassador might have defected to the Romulan home world, conveniently called Romulus, Picard and Data engage in some Romulan cosplay and take a long, long, long time to finally meet up with everyone’s favorite Vulcan. In the meantime, Riker and the rest of the crew are investigating some hijinx in the Federation junkyard because they need to have something to do while Picard and Data are busy making Trek history meeting Mr. freaking Spock! Will Riker and crew discover the secret of the missing junkyard ships? Will Data discover he really likes shoulder pads? Will Picard get any sleep? Find out in this exciting new episode!  Even more available at: https://tngeez.com

The crew of the Enterprise D is used to Riker bringing something back from Risa, but this time it’s a little more sinister than a run of the mill space STD. It’s something even more contagious, a game! Soon it’s sweeping the ship, and all the crew members and the families and the puppies are addicted to it, and we mean addicted! So addicted, Bev and Riker knock out Data, so the workaholic robot doesn’t spoil their fun. Good thing Wesley Crusher is back, and good thing Ashley Ju . . . Uh, Robin Lefler is here, so they can team up and save the day. Unfortunately for them, the crew ain’t having it, and the chase is on. Will Wes and Robin be able to get the crew into rehab? Will the Ktarian named Etana be successful in hijacking the Enterprise? Will some please, please, please stop Riker from going to Risa?   Even more available at: https://tngeez.com