The Bookshelf Battle Cast

Sorry, 3.5 listeners. BQB really waited till the last minute this month. Just a brief message to say hello, and a request for your suggestions as to which classic public domain book BQB should read next. Fear not, for BQB will return in June to read Chapter 2 of "The Hound of the Baskervilles" by Sherlock Holmes.

BQB almost missed podcasting this month because he was enjoying a vacation in sunny Orlando, Florida, hobnobbing with Mickey Mouse and eating pineapples under palm trees and such. But he came back just in time to entertain his 3.5 listeners. Here, the world renowned poindexter reads the first chapter of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's work, "The Hound of the Baskervilles." Who would think that a simple stick left in a waiting room would lead to so many deductions?  We learn Holmes' investigatory process, namely, how he can observe an item and find details and information everywhere, where others would not notice anything.  Simple little clues about the stick tell Holmes so much about its owner. Watson believes he has received a compliment from Holmes, i.e. that the great investigator has applauded the good doctor's observations about the stick but rather, as the chapter moves on, we learn that Holmes says that Watson is not a genius, he is not a source of light but rather, a "conductor of light." So...that's a really nice way of telling Holmes that he was wrong but by being so wrong he helped Holmes figure out what was right. Talk about backhanded compliments.

Bookshelf Q. Battler is changing up the format of his podcast, and that's ok, because only 3.5 people listen to this podcast anyway.  BQB wants to share with the world what he has learned in four years of being the owner and proprietor of bookshelfbattle.com, a site that coincidentally, is only ever viewed by 3.5 readers. Picking a blogging idea, snappy title, company to work with, search engine optimization, attracting followers, promotion on social media, legal stuff like worrying about copyright, libel, where to get photos and art for your site and more.

Bookshelf Q. Battler didn't procrastinate in February. He got his podcast up early this month. He was going to relax with a nice glass of wine while podcasting but then he read the Cast of Amontillado and well, let's just say that booze and horror don't mix. Never cross a Montressor, 3.5 listeners, because that is a family of angry cats who do not forgive and especially do not forget. Is revenge a dish best served cold? Isn't it better to follow Jesus' lead and turn the other cheek? I mean, is there an insult that is so severe that it merits getting walled off alive in a tomb? BQB thinks not. What do you think? Tweet BQB @bookshelfbattle or find him on Facebook @bookshelfqbattler Don't forget to stop by BQB's blog - bookshelfbattle.com What public domain work would you like to hear our favorite nerd read in March? Don't forget to check out this hashtag - #FridaysWithBQB on Twitter. BQB is interviewing self-publishing authors and he kicked it all off with an interview with Robert Bevan of Caverns and Creatures fame, so if you're into the DIY publishing scene, check this interview out: https://bookshelfbattle.com/2018/02/02/fridayswithbqb-interview-1-robert-bevan-of-caverns-and-creatures-where-fantasy-dick-jokes-meet-real-life-success/ And if you want to talk about "The Cask of Amontillado" with BQB, do so on his blog: https://bookshelfbattle.com/2018/02/03/bookshelf-battle-cast-the-cask-of-amontillado-by-edgar-allan-poe-analysis-and-discussion/

"Check yourself before you wreck yourself." Which 1990s rap song was that famous line from? Bookshelf Q. Battler doesn't remember and he's too lazy to look it up, but if you want to, feel free to do so and tweet him @bookshelfbattle or find him on Facebook, @bookshelfqbattler and let him know the answer. It's the first episode of the Bookshelf Battle Cast and epic procrastinator has waited until the last minute - almost literally. Our intrepid nerdventurer has made a New Year's resolution to podcast once a month and there is not much time left on January 31, 2018 as he writes this. Talk about the last minute. William Ernest Henley was a wise man who struggled to overcome adversity and it's no surprise this classic poem inspired Nelson Mandela during his time in a South African prison. Can we control all of the, for lack of a better word, crap that life throws at us? Sometimes, but not always. No matter how hard we try to avoid it, something bad will happen to us. As the old saying goes, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." So no, we can't control all of life's pitfalls, roadblocks, setbacks and disasters, but we can control how we react to them. Fall apart and lose control of your life and your path is likely to get rockier. Stay calm, be cool and stay the course and you'll avoid more rocks. In short, you can't control life, but you can control how you react to it. Know what else you can control? Your book purchasing decisions and BQB thinks that you'd be making a wise choice to purchase a copy of his book, "Bookshelf Q. Battler's Big Book of Badass Writing Prompts." Get some ideas to combat writer's block with this little beauty. https://www.amazon.com/Bookshelf-Battlers-Badass-Writing-Prompts-ebook/dp/B071WNKJ4L/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1517456164&sr=8-1&keywords=bookshelf+q bookshelfbattle.com is the place to go to check out BQB's latest musings, and don't forget you can get more analysis of "Invictus" here: https://bookshelfbattle.com/2018/02/01/bookshelf-battlecast-episode-001-invictus-by-william-ernest-henley-analysis-and-discussion/

Alright, alright, alright. Not Matthew McConaughey stops by the Bookshelf Battle Cast to unravel the mysteries of the universe. Enjoy, sentient meat puppets!

Not Arnold Schwarzenegger ridicules BQB's flabby waistline. Don't worry. BQB deserves it. He puts away pizza like there's no tomorrow.

Not Donald J. Trump informs the world what a yuge, big league, low energy loser Bookshelf Q. Battler is.

"Not Al Pacino" sends up Bookshelf Q. Battler, Scent of a Woman style.

"This Is Not Morgan Freeman" introduces Bookshelf Q. Battler. Remember, this is Not Morgan Freeman. This is just an impression of Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman is a great man, far too busy to be involved with this nonsense.

Bookshelf Q. Battler loves movies so much that he got a dude who can do a movie trailer guy voice impression to do the outro to his podcast.