The Feelings Club

Let us know how you're feeling! --> thefeelingsclubpodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram @feelingsclubpodcast and Twitter @feelingsclubpod.

For the final episode of 2020, let's talk about the holidays! The expectations, the pressure, traditions, toxic family, boundaries, seasonal depression and more.

If you’d like to record a question or a comment for a future episode, give us a ring on the Bananphone at 725-FEELING (725-333-5464), or you can use the voice memo app on your phone to record your question and email it to thefeelingsclubpodcast@gmail.com. Visit our website thefeelings.club and sign up for our newsletter. Also check out Sally’s Blog. Follow us on Instagram @feelingsclubpodcast and tweet us your thoughts @feelingsclubpod.

Patty is 32 weeks pregnant. Sally is concerned about Covid numbers rising again. The SIMS Foundation fundraiser #MusicForTheMind went well. Charlie Sexton thinks Patty is having a boy. What do you think? The Rooted Method women's retreat was so much fun! Sally and Patty spent three nights in The David Mountains State Park, and one night in a yurt in the middle of the dessert in Terlingua. The experience of six women connecting in nature was refreshing and restorative. Sally's husband expressed how much he too needs nourishing friendships too.  Have women cornered the market on vulnerability? As we start back up with podcast, we'd love to hear how you're doing! What's weighing on you? Where are you finding your joy? Have any thoughts on boundaries? Let us know by sending a email to the thefeelingsclubpodcast@gmail.com, or drop us a voicemail by dialing 725-FEELING. Follow us on Instagram @feelingsclubpodcast and Twitter @feelingsclubpod.

As soon as you become a parent, there's suddenly so much to lose, and the more you learn, the more you realize how little you actually know. Women are notorious over-functioning multitaskers. Preparing an extended support system to lean when a child enters your life is so important.  Childcare, going back to work, navigating conflict and maintaining connection with your partner, accepting and blowing off advice from others, following your intuition and more! An amazing voicemail from Laurie on pregnancy, birth and motherhood.    Parenting Resources:  Your One Year Old By Louise Bates Ames, Frances L. Ilg Parenting From the Inside Out By Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., Mary Hartzell, M. Ed. Playful Parenting By Lawrence J. Cohen Life With Baby Workbook By Erin Fassnacht, Amy Tucker Happiest Baby on the Block By Louise Bates Ames, Frances L. Ilg Build Your Nest By Kestrel Gates Whole Brain Child By Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., Tina Payne Bryson https://kellymom.com - for breastfeeding

As soon as you become a parent, there's suddenly so much to lose, and the more you learn, the more you realize how little you actually know. Women are notorious over-functioning multitaskers. Preparing an extended support system to lean when a child enters your life is so important.  Childcare, going back to work, navigating conflict and maintaining connection with your partner, accepting and blowing off advice from others, following your intuition and more! An amazing voicemail from Laurie on pregnancy, birth and motherhood.    Parenting Resources:  Your One Year Old By Louise Bates Ames, Frances L. Ilg Parenting From the Inside Out By Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., Mary Hartzell, M. Ed. Playful Parenting By Lawrence J. Cohen Life With Baby Workbook By Erin Fassnacht, Amy Tucker Happiest Baby on the Block By Louise Bates Ames, Frances L. Ilg Build Your Nest By Kestrel Gates Whole Brain Child By Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., Tina Payne Bryson https://kellymom.com - for breastfeeding

The more you use your words to express what you're feeling, the easier it is to switch over to the logical part of the healing process.  Throwing a tantrum over online schooling with your children. This is hard, but as an upside, family dinners are more relaxed.  The world can seem grim, so you have to intentionally find your joy. The most painful kind of suffering is indefinite. Hope is easier to find with appropriately set expectations and limits. How do you trust your feelings when your feelings change every day? 

The more you use your words to express what you're feeling, the easier it is to switch over to the logical part of the healing process.  Throwing a tantrum over online schooling with your children. This is hard, but as an upside, family dinners are more relaxed.  The world can seem grim, so you have to intentionally find your joy. The most painful kind of suffering is indefinite. Hope is easier to find with appropriately set expectations and limits. How do you trust your feelings when your feelings change every day? 

Chaos is part of life and it goes hand-in-hand with transformation. Chaos shows up in relationships in the form of conflict, and conflict is an opportunity for growth. Conflict arises from unmet needs, limited resources and differing social values.  Switching from the emotional part of your brain to the logical part requires that your emotions be validated. Active listening can be a great and easy way to validate someone else's emotions. Sally walks us through what this conflict dialogue looks like. Patty believes that growth only happens when one is ready to embrace it. Resisting change keeps us in chaos, and that can look like resentment, passive/active aggression in our relationships.  Sally and her partner use humor in their conflict often to diffuse emotional intensity. The Gottman Theory calls this a "repair attempt" in order to prevent negative escalation.  Sally is not a 'Gottman person.' Patty does not enjoy being in conflict with others, especially when she has hurt or disappointed another person. Sally reminds her that becoming a parent is going to be great practice for this. It's important to gather information about the conflict to determine what parts of the conflict belong to you and what parts belong to the other party. Bring your awareness to your own actions, choices, thoughts and feelings. Don't be afraid to disappoint others. According to Glennon Doyle's book Untamed, it is your obligation! 

Chaos is part of life and it goes hand-in-hand with transformation. Chaos shows up in relationships in the form of conflict, and conflict is an opportunity for growth. Conflict arises from unmet needs, limited resources and differing social values.  Switching from the emotional part of your brain to the logical part requires that your emotions be validated. Active listening can be a great and easy way to validate someone else's emotions. Sally walks us through what this conflict dialogue looks like. Patty believes that growth only happens when one is ready to embrace it. Resisting change keeps us in chaos, and that can look like resentment, passive/active aggression in our relationships.  Sally and her partner use humor in their conflict often to diffuse emotional intensity. The Gottman Theory calls this a "repair attempt" in order to prevent negative escalation.  Sally is not a 'Gottman person.' Patty does not enjoy being in conflict with others, especially when she has hurt or disappointed another person. Sally reminds her that becoming a parent is going to be great practice for this. It's important to gather information about the conflict to determine what parts of the conflict belong to you and what parts belong to the other party. Bring your awareness to your own actions, choices, thoughts and feelings. Don't be afraid to disappoint others. According to Glennon Doyle's book Untamed, it is your obligation! 

Sadness at the beginning of a new pregnancy is a very normal and common experience. At a biological level, hormones are ramping up big time! Coming to grips with this new reality takes time. "Who am I as a pregnant woman?" Not all pregnant women are matronly the way they are perceived in our culture. Maternity wear is limiting.   Patty has struggled with body image issues in the past. Fears around the ways in which her body will change, and the ways in which it may never be quite the same again is something that has come up for her. How does a little human fit into Patty's life? Will she and her partner ever have expendable income ever again? How does a couple navigate the challenges of a relationship with children present? How does a parent reconcile the mistakes they're inevitably going to make? There is so much unknown, and the process of becoming a parent (and parenting) involves a lot of letting go.  Awareness of trauma and growth is going to make anyone a better human, partner, friend, parent...and though having children is a lot of work, Sally is not afraid how Patty is going to show up for her kid. She's confident in her ability to ask for help from her support system when she needs to (because she can now). Sally just can't wait for the bliss!  Patty and Sally really want to hear from you! If you are or have been pregnant, did you feel sad in the beginning? Do you have fears around becoming a parent? Are you a parent now and what has this experience been like for you? Give us the good, the bad and everything in between! 

Sadness at the beginning of a new pregnancy is a very normal and common experience. At a biological level, hormones are ramping up big time! Coming to grips with this new reality takes time. "Who am I as a pregnant woman?" Not all pregnant women are matronly the way they are perceived in our culture. Maternity wear is limiting.   Patty has struggled with body image issues in the past. Fears around the ways in which her body will change, and the ways in which it may never be quite the same again is something that has come up for her. How does a little human fit into Patty's life? Will she and her partner ever have expendable income ever again? How does a couple navigate the challenges of a relationship with children present? How does a parent reconcile the mistakes they're inevitably going to make? There is so much unknown, and the process of becoming a parent (and parenting) involves a lot of letting go.  Awareness of trauma and growth is going to make anyone a better human, partner, friend, parent...and though having children is a lot of work, Sally is not afraid how Patty is going to show up for her kid. She's confident in her ability to ask for help from her support system when she needs to (because she can now). Sally just can't wait for the bliss!  Patty and Sally really want to hear from you! If you are or have been pregnant, did you feel sad in the beginning? Do you have fears around becoming a parent? Are you a parent now and what has this experience been like for you? Give us the good, the bad and everything in between! 

In this episode, we're talking about money and how it effects our mental health. Why is this topic so triggering for some? We'll go into Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE's), Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, positive and negative cognitions and more.

In this episode, we're talking about money and how it effects our mental health. Why is this topic so triggering for some? We'll go into Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE's), Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, positive and negative cognitions and more.

Patty's getting settled in her new home and finding a place for everything. Sally is familiar with chaos from past experiences, and nothing seems to have a place in her home.    Patty can sometimes struggle with decision-making. Sally has a "future exercise" which may help people make decisions based on their own intuition. Building parameters to help us narrow our path and make the best decisions for us is so important in recognizing our needs when they present themselves. Sally walks Patty through the exercise for a new job, and Sally notices something interesting.    Some things we'd like to explore soon are boundaries and couples therapy. Patty's group therapy will be run by a guest therapist for the next couple weeks and she's excited for a change. Sally has intimate relationships with geographical places and geological formations, and her couples counselor is on this same wave length.    Patty discovered the dik-dik, a species of antelope. They're small and adorable, live in pairs, mate for life and mark their territory with tears.    Resisting big emotions causes us to get stuck in them. Sally shares some of her prescribed activities for letting rage out. How do you get your rage out? 

Patty's getting settled in her new home and finding a place for everything. Sally is familiar with chaos from past experiences, and nothing seems to have a place in her home.    Patty can sometimes struggle with decision-making. Sally has a "future exercise" which may help people make decisions based on their own intuition. Building parameters to help us narrow our path and make the best decisions for us is so important in recognizing our needs when they present themselves. Sally walks Patty through the exercise for a new job, and Sally notices something interesting.    Some things we'd like to explore soon are boundaries and couples therapy. Patty's group therapy will be run by a guest therapist for the next couple weeks and she's excited for a change. Sally has intimate relationships with geographical places and geological formations, and her couples counselor is on this same wave length.    Patty discovered the dik-dik, a species of antelope. They're small and adorable, live in pairs, mate for life and mark their territory with tears.    Resisting big emotions causes us to get stuck in them. Sally shares some of her prescribed activities for letting rage out. How do you get your rage out? 

Back from a little "work-cation", Patty and Sally catch up and see what's waiting for them in their email and voicemail inbox.

Back from a little "work-cation", Patty and Sally catch up and see what's waiting for them in their email and voicemail inbox.

What are some signs of an unhealthy person or relationship? How do you feel about yourself, or how do you feel around a particular person? How do you feel when a particular person appears on your social feed? Do you feel less than? Do you feel confused? Do you feel isolated? It’s normal for people to unconsciously seek out familiarity in people or relationships, even if certain traits we find familiar are unhealthy. Ask yourself: Is this what I want? Is this who I want to be? Growing up is a process of becoming our true self. The best defense against a toxic person is knowing yourself and being yourself. Some relationships are just not destined to work. You may not be someone’s cup of tea.   Gaslighting! Manipulation through psychological means. Have you ever felt like you were going crazy because someone has made you feel like you cannot trust yourself of your memory of events? It’s very difficult to navigate around when nobody can agree on reality.   Can an unhealthy relationship become healthy? In most circumstances, yes! Changing an unhealthy relationship takes both parties doing the work. Insider tip: If you do enough work on your own, the other party will become uncomfortable enough to make change. Change may end up being a dissolution of the relationship altogether. Pursue your own authenticity and joy in every relationship.   Trauma bonding! Deep intimacy can form from experiencing trauma with another person. There are existing resources to help those in relationships where domestic abuse exists.   Letting go of an unhealthy relationship can be easier said than done.   Healthy relationships should feel like a safe place to be your authentic self. You should feel respected, supported and accepted for who you are without withholding parts of yourself or engaging in people pleasing. Moving through disagreements is part of a healthy relationship too! Sally wrote jokes for today’s sign off.

What are some signs of an unhealthy person or relationship? How do you feel about yourself, or how do you feel around a particular person? How do you feel when a particular person appears on your social feed? Do you feel less than? Do you feel confused? Do you feel isolated? It’s normal for people to unconsciously seek out familiarity in people or relationships, even if certain traits we find familiar are unhealthy. Ask yourself: Is this what I want? Is this who I want to be? Growing up is a process of becoming our true self. The best defense against a toxic person is knowing yourself and being yourself. Some relationships are just not destined to work. You may not be someone’s cup of tea.   Gaslighting! Manipulation through psychological means. Have you ever felt like you were going crazy because someone has made you feel like you cannot trust yourself of your memory of events? It’s very difficult to navigate around when nobody can agree on reality.   Can an unhealthy relationship become healthy? In most circumstances, yes! Changing an unhealthy relationship takes both parties doing the work. Insider tip: If you do enough work on your own, the other party will become uncomfortable enough to make change. Change may end up being a dissolution of the relationship altogether. Pursue your own authenticity and joy in every relationship.   Trauma bonding! Deep intimacy can form from experiencing trauma with another person. There are existing resources to help those in relationships where domestic abuse exists.   Letting go of an unhealthy relationship can be easier said than done.   Healthy relationships should feel like a safe place to be your authentic self. You should feel respected, supported and accepted for who you are without withholding parts of yourself or engaging in people pleasing. Moving through disagreements is part of a healthy relationship too! Sally wrote jokes for today’s sign off.