The Katharsis Project

Letter reader: Kat Gunther Reference: @black_ourstory Marquis DB     “July 1864- August 1865 Patrick Henry Anderson, A wealthy slave owner loses it all when his most prized possessions are freed by Lincoln’s army during the Civil War.  In an act of desperation to save his  2.8 million dollar estate- he  wrote to Jourdan Anderson - Free Man, . Who was once his most trusted and hardest working slave for 32 years. “Please come back.”  Jourdan’s response is the most professional eff you, corporate, “per my last email”, comedic, courageous, sarcastic, “where’s’ my money Brian?”, historic “hell no I’m not coming back” piece of Black Shakespearian theater literature ever.  In 2006 Morgan State University historian Raymod Winbush revealed that he  had tracked down some of Patrick Henry Andersons descendants, still living in the Big Spring area...  142 years later, the family was  still  angry that Jourdan never came back to try to help, knowing the plantation was in shambles after the war." This is Jourdan's letter.

"I tell myself that maybe if I listen to my music loud enough, maybe if I take some medications, maybe if I exercise hard and fast, maybe if I take a fucking razor to my own body.  I've got to do SOMETHING to get myself out of this tank, but I'm still just trapped in here. Suffocating." Letter reader: Kat Gunther

"As an adult, I have learned, that in situations that provoke fear, the body’s final attempt for survival, is to freeze. That’s what I did. I froze, when you raped me, (each time that you raped me), but not because I was a coward, and it wasn’t because I wanted it. I froze because that was my body’s final attempt to survive." Letter reader: Kat Gunther

"You took all the time you needed to groom me, and I'll take all the time I need to build a solid case against you.  Look who's being forced into the corner now?  It isn't me. I'm already in the corner.  The only thing I have on the opposite side of me, is freedom.  You?  Not so much."   Letter Reader: Kat Gunther

"I hope that your apology was sincere and that you learned your lesson. I hope that you truly do understand the significance of what you did to me.  I hope it eats at you. But mostly, I just want to let you know that even if you said sorry, you're still a rapist." Letter reader: Kat Gunther   Reference: Child Sexual Abuse Statistics. (2020, February 6). Retrieved from https://www.d2l.org/the-issue/statistics/

"I feel like a part of you exists inside of me, like a parasitic tumor right in the center of my very soul. One that interrupts my thoughts, my grief, my happiness, my friendships...it even has your voice, and it holds my mind hostage, especially when I'm upset." Letter reader: Kat Gunther

"I didn't want a perfect mom. I just wanted to be loved. Supported. Asked if I was okay, and maybe, if things were extra great, have my feelings validated for once in my life." Letter reader: Kat Gunther

"You didn’t bother me, so long as I was obedient. I did what I was told because I didn’t want to get in trouble and I wanted my freedom. But I’ve learned since then that freedom isn’t keeping quiet or blindly obeying. Freedom comes from speaking up. And I’m learning to do that now. I’m learning to speak up and stand up for myself." Letter reader: Kat Gunther

"So yeah, maybe the assaults themselves did only last for 5-10 minutes, but the aftermath? The aftermath has been a life sentence." Letter Reader: Kat Gunther References: “Effects of Sexual Violence.” RAINN, www.rainn.org/effects-sexual-violence.

"You put the blame on me for years, and I accepted it for years.  But I don’t accept it anymore, and I’m starting by exposing the truth.  The truth that you are a rapist, a sexual abuser, a manipulator, a perpetrator, and I was your victim." Letter Reader: Kat Gunther References: Child Sexual Abuse Statistics. (2020, February 6). Retrieved from https://www.d2l.org/the-issue/statistics/

"We can never return to the carefree, untroubled selves that existed before our own personal tragedies. But together, we can find a way forward." Letter Reader: Kat Gunther

"I sat on this for weeks, agonizing over what to do. Did I participate? Was this my fault? UGH! I had to tell someone, my conscience was eating me alive. I didn’t feel like a willing participant. I didn’t want any of it. But I felt that because I was religious, the thing to do, you know, confess your “sins.”  But, did I sin if I didn’t want any of it? If he forced me? If I couldn’t get away?" Letter Reader: Kat Gunther References: Sexual Assault. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.rainn.org/articles/sexual-assault

"It was no surprise that you had been charged with numerous sexual crimes: rapes, sexual abuse, sexual assault, all over a number of years.  I think the hardest part of seeing your mugshot, was the fact that I knew my own experience wasn't on your list of charges." Letter Reader: Kat Gunther References: David Finkelhor, Anne Shattuck, Heather A. Turner, & Sherry L. Hamby, The Lifetime Prevalence of Child Sexual Abuse and Sexual Assault Assessed in Late Adolescence, 55 Journal of Adolescent Health 329, 329-333 (2014)

The Katharsis Project features anonymous letters written by survivors and victims of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse.  References: American Psychological Association. (2007). Dictionary of Psychology. Washington, DC: Author. Aristotle. (2001). The Basic Works of Aristotle. McKeon, R. (Ed.). New York: Modern Library.