The mBraining Show

How relating to others evolves with mBraining. Would your relationships benefit from being able to relate to your family in a better way? In this episode with Erico Crosina we explore how mBraining changes the way you relate to others. Enrico Crosina is an mBIT Trainer and mBIT Master Coach. He Trained with Marvin Oka and Grant Soosalu and is now coaching clients from Newcastle in Australia. You can connect with Enrico at www.enricocrosina.com   Transcript: Enrico 0:00 You know what I believe mBraining gives. And when people say, if you have to tell me one thing that mBraining will give me, and I always most of the time always apart from courage is awareness, because when you became aware of your paterns and what you do and what you say, you start asking yourself, what did I just say that? Why did I say that? And if you really go inward instead of going outward going inside, you understand you start really feeling understanding why you say that Intro 0:30 You are listening to the mBraining Show, a show about the new field of mBIT, where you’ll get a blend of neuroscience based research with practical applications for wise living. And now here’s your host Bill Gasiamis. Bill 0:45 Bill Gasiamis here this episode of the mBraining show is brought to you by the mBraining coaching cards. If you’re a coach looking for tools to help you take your coaching session to the next level, then you may want to consider grabbing a pack of the and mBraining coaching cards. Bill 1:00 Developed by mBIT trainers Reb Veale and Mark Deacon can in collaboration with Grant soosalu each pack contains 46 cards divided into questions for the heart, Questions for the gut, and questions for the head brain, and 12 wisdom questions designed to gently guide the emergent wisdom of your clients three intelligences. Bill 1:23 Each pack contains 46 cards with different questions and prompts for you to ask your client during coaching. They are made in Australia from high quality coated paper and protected by clear box to ensure safe and easy storage packs start from around $47 including tax and deliveries free to any address in Australia. Bill 1:43 Go along to revealsolutions.com.au click the shop link and check them out for international listeners outside of the Asia Pacific region go to revealsolutions.co.uk My guest today is Enrico Crosina. Enrico is an mBIT Master coach and mBIT master trainer Enrico . Welcome to the podcast. Enrico 2:05 Thank you for accepting me. Thank you for having me with you. Bill 2:08 Yeah, thanks for being here, man. You used to live in Italy, right? Enrico 2:14 Yeah, I born and grow in Italy until in 19 sorry, in 2005 I had an encounter, and meet the person that really transformed my vision of life in the way I approach and feel about life. And I decided she’s Australian, of course, and I’ve been up and down for two years, every four weeks, four weeks in Italy, six weeks, Australia up and down six, seven times a year for two years. Enrico 2:40 I had enough and then we had our first kid in 2007 just after Christmas. And you know, I was coming back to Australia and I was seeing this kid and I was going to pick up my son and I could see this little things are slipping back. So you know (inaudible) I don’t like that. Enrico 3:00 I’d really like to squeeze and play with my kids. So I decided we kind of the best I can to say that so we moved in 10 years now 2009, July 2009. And I’ve been here since then. Bill 3:15 Well, man, I was going to ask you, what was it like to make a decision to move from another country to Australia. And the reason I was going to ask is, I didn’t understand the circumstances under which you moved. So you had something motivating you to come here. Bill 3:31 But I reflect back on, you know, my parents and a lot of other Italian families and Greek families and all sorts of different families that come to Australia. They leave everything behind them, they come over. I imagined that although you had a very big reason to be here. What’s your gut telling you about all the reasons you shouldn’t go? Enrico 3:51 Well, I tell you that process now knowing mBraining and teaching and practicing and mBraining . I got if I go back, I understand what’s going on. At that time, there was a lot of fear, a lot of doubts, a lot of doubts from the head asking, you know, is the right thing to do. Enrico 4:07 But at the end of the day, the force that was, there was really hard. There was really my heart that force was pulling me to Australia was bigger than the fears that I had to, to leave everything behind. And the only thing that was really keeping me there was my mom and dad, and my son, Georgio. Enrico 4:26 But stories that my ex wife decided that Georgio would have had more possibilities to come to Australia with me and basically asked me Can you please take Georgio with you, you know, as a mom has been a massive choice. I can just imagine what was there but in Georgio was with me so when that thing has been solved. Enrico 4:49 And mom and dad and my dad told me as much as I would suffer for you, and I will miss you is more the happiness than I’ve been I feel for you because I know that you going to be in a good place because Karen is really special. Enrico 5:04 So you know when the heart is being fulfilled with my dad and you know the missing was really hard to me was really more than the gut the gut decision was made a didn’t have any problem with it was more relationship more about heart you know leaving. Enrico 5:20 I love Italy I grew up in Italy by at the end of the day you know I just did it is when you already I don’t know if you’ve been in the army I was on airborne and the first standard to jump out from my plane. You know, you made all the trainings, you know everything and that’s a fear jumping. Enrico 5:38 At the end of the day just needs trust. Trust that is you know what to do you know how to do and you trust the process and just jump thats what I did. Bill 5:48 It’s interesting. I spoke to my parents about why they came and what they had to do it and they don’t use a lot of words to describe it. They just say, ah, we had the money. We went to work We came here that was it. Bill 6:03 And I’m sure it wasn’t it I’m sure there was a lot more going on because I think about when I need to leave just my family just for a couple of days just to go somewhere and there’s no doubt that I enjoy my time wherever I am. Bill 6:17 But that inability to just you know, when you take for granted that Oh, hi, how you going? And what are you doing today and all that kind of stuff? That stuff starts to become a real what’s the word a real issue for the heart. It’s like a what’s how come I can’t say that to him right now? I want to be able to say that now. Enrico 6:40 I believe that is really a cultural you agree completely. I believe that is a cultural thing. And I was in Paris last Sunday. I flew in on Saturday and I flew back on Sunday, I was there to for a warship to run a workshop in mBraining workshop, and by just leaving on the Saturday asking my wife, you know, keep our kids are they there? Enrico 7:03 And the kids and she just say you know what, just go man, I can manage the families it’s just got but it’s just that the feeling of detachment of leaving some behind and I’m still you know saying I’m not flying back to Europe. Enrico 7:16 I perfectly understand what you’re talking about and I believe that is cultural the these are the people that just jump on the plane and go and happy I enjoy my time in Paris has been an awesome experience. I was keep texting you know checking other kids are you know when they go to that’s the way we are, I believe. Bill 7:34 Yeah. there’s nothing wrong with it. Enrico 7:37 Yeah, my kids are young, 8 and 12. And so of course being there’s a lot of interaction that is very different, especially after learning in mBraining and really making mBraining part of my life. I deal with them in a very different way. So the way I talk to them is very different. The linguistic that I use is very different. I never asked him what do you think about this? Enrico 7:58 I always ask why they feel about if you would put yourself there, how would you feel if they arrived with you? And then I can add some other ideas now what can you do different so I talked to them in a very different way. And I see them growing in a very different way. Enrico 8:14 And I believe that really, and we’ve got through that, you know why but really mBraining especially kids day grow with different with a different way to look at the experiencing the world, their life, and I’m missing that missing. Enrico 8:30 So when I go away for today, one day, it’s been I tell you and sorry for taking another 30 seconds or winning I was in India two years ago. And I was in a place in an order that the Wi Fi was really bad was really really bad. Enrico 8:45 And my kids especially the little one was six and took me three months I had to take in three months to a our beloved kinesiologist because he was he suffered of detachment because I could not see him I was calling every day but just listen to the voice was a very different story. Enrico 9:05 I believe that you know, seeing your, as I see talking like that the unfortunately past the see a few months back. But even if being in Australia, I could see him and I could that could really fulfill my heart and see moving you know, expressing yourself. Enrico 9:22 The voice is not enough. And he was going through the difficult times this little thing. So now after that experience, that attachment has been even even more so I got that this really is the right thing to do. Yes, you know, I feel is I know and I have to do it because of course, you’re committed with worshipping work it’s a bit rocky road but part of being parent, I believe Bill 9:49 Part of being alive man. It was interesting. What you said about your dad and being able to see him because my parents they left when they left and came that was in the 60s obviously there’s no such thing as it know, anything and they only wrote a letter once every so often. Bill 10:06 And even then they never hardly got to talk on the telephone because was too expensive for them to call to make phone calls. So did you do you find what was it like early on early on there wasn’t a lot of Skype there wasn’t a lot of zoom or any of that kind of stuff. Bill 10:25 Did you see a completely massive difference in the way that you were able to feel about being away from him such a distance away? Did it make you feel better once you guys all discovered zoom on or Skype they were able to get on? Enrico 10:38 It’s a good question because if I listen to you, asking me this, I can’t imagine that maybe that time not having Skype and on I mean electronics not having basically a full tool computer here. I didn’t even there was not a problem. Enrico 10:56 I mean, when I had to go and I’ve been in the nation of archery team, Italian archery team for many years. And I was going on tournament all over the place every week. And I was going away for two days for a week for a couple of weeks. And it’s never been a problem. Never been a problem. Enrico 11:13 Okay, get a couple of coins and kilometers a day. I’m okay. It’s going good. I’m doing good. Thank you. Ciao ciao I love you ciao. That’s all. Now with the possibilities like we know that we have a possibility to call and interact with your home. It’s like that change. The change is changing the way we believe that I have it. Or now I can see more I can touch I can talk to more I can interact more. Enrico 11:39 If I go back in time, I don’t The only time that I’m spending hours on the phone with my girlfriends. But it’s I believe it’s quite normal because you know that he is chasing on the phone for hours and hours and hours but when I was going around was never been. Enrico 11:54 It’s never been a big issue has been an issue maybe the beginning when I left Italy to come Australia, it was 2009 because my dad didn’t have a computer. I didn’t know how to use a computer. So I was calling I was calling home through Skype I was calling the landline number in box here is you say your parents at that time? Enrico 12:17 I don’t know, maybe they moved in the 60s or in the 60s. I can imagine that the cost of telephone. Now when I moved to Australia, Skype was already existing. So even if my day was not knowing how to use that, I could use that and spend really sense to call at least to talk to them. Enrico 12:36 Weekly. But you know, in the past, there was not a problem maybe because we didn’t have the possibility to me the possibility you don’t even think about and it’s okay. It’s just going Bill 12:46 You just get on with life. I’ve curious about you know, when you reflect on Georgio as a boy, and then your other kids was there quite a gap first. It was quite a gap between Georgio and the second child? Enrico 13:03 Yeah massive Georgio is 29. Next year will be 30 and my elder of the little ones is 12. So it’s a big gap. Bill 13:12 Awesome. So I want you to reflect on the Enrico before mBraining and NLP and how you managed a relationship with a young child and bringing that child up and navigating fatherhood and all that kind of stuff. Bill 13:30 And then you go into this other world of NLP and mBraining and now you’re raising almost it’s not fair on Georgio, but almost a second opportunity to do things different better, right? I don’t know what the word is like, you know, what’s the difference between how Georgio was raised by you and how your other kids were raised by you? Enrico 13:54 Well, this is good. We got going on a bit more specifically on my own stuff. Unfortunately, when Georgio not because Georgio was born, Georgio has been a bless. And he still is. When Georgio was born, I was going through very, very hard times. Enrico 14:12 My dad had got through a scam. He had a restaurant pizzeria in Italy and he had a stroke bad stroke basically they gave him six months to live and live for 20 just passed away at the end of July. And the when that happened, we were part of the overlocker business company so he bankrupt but we bankrupt myself, my mom and my sister all full family. Enrico 14:42 In Georgio of course, was born in 2000 sorry 1990 that I was going through this process he was very toddler was two three years old. And of course, I’ll be missing completely is huge because I was so much in the mess of these because there involved a computer company in the meantime. Enrico 15:02 So my def fail, and daddy influenced my company. So I went through really hard times I’ll try to survive not to bankrupt on the other side is where helping my dad to pay off all the stuff was really messing up and I’d be missing this. And on top of this, my ex wife was very, very particular location of Eastern Europe a very strict very regime with Georgio’s always be very conflicting. Enrico 15:27 And I was not there to counter balancing not that I’m soft by you know, giving something and unfortunately I haven’t given it and that is really really as been influencing massively in you know, we had a long discussion really infinity discussion about the fact that now is be bringing out this he brought out this year’s he is back now now at the beginning where we just want to say that because of course, he was seeing the way I was interacting with the other two. Enrico 15:57 And, and especially if they’re going to start in the process of learning personal developing learning themes learning and appeal. Wow. You need to squint and mBraining after that, he told me brought up the fact that now look about the way you deal with them now that you know happened with me I say Georgio in that time, the only thing I know and I really guy can really, really, really absolutely be absolutely certain and in peace with my heart is that in that very moment. Enrico 16:24 I did the very best I could for you. And that’s it. We didn’t have even money to buy food. He was not the only one that was eating home. But it was gone for four months, six, seven months. I was really in a state that you slept really in a van for a period because I didn’t have the money to win really bad times. But I tried to do my very best. Enrico 16:47 But I was not there as a figure. I was not there as a father. I was not there to support him as I was not there to loving him as I do with my kids. So it is true. is a question is a nice look at (inaudible) mBraining change me deeply and change the way I behave and interact with people and my kids. Enrico 17:07 But also Georgio was unfortunately come to our place maybe there wasn’t a license but it was a challenge for me and say okay now give you this you have this little thing you need to do your best so because you’re doing your best I give you this and now you’re in trouble now what do you do. Enrico 17:26 And I got in trouble with this man because of course the mess but he’s been missing alot been missing our conversation and it’s happened with my dad I can share this with you because this is very similar things through mBraining you know I started a personal development in I got shot with Tony Robbins and say oh my god, I want to be able to transform people as he does from the stage. Enrico 17:51 So with starting with the with NLP and then I discovered on mBraining as being magical complete transform I have goosebumps talking about it i get goosebumps everywhere because it is something magical. Enrico 18:07 Through that process in our being. I’m a trainer in (inaudible) therapy. I’m an NLP trainer i went throught all the water processes to discover after I became a trainer and I started really mBraining myself regularly every day to became a better person a better me that I’ve been molested when I was six. Enrico 18:26 And that memory was completely, you know come out from nowhere and oh my god so that explain many things about especially that explain my relationship with my dad that has been very, very, very rocky completely not because my dad was the molester but because my dad sent me to the this daycare that was managed by priest. Enrico 18:52 They organize this camp somewhere. I was really six years old was a little kid and I remember that I was bullied they were beating me up and then this thing happened. I was calling home say if I can, can you please come and pick me up I don’t want to be here. Enrico 19:07 And my dad at the restaurant in Venice, you can imagine August in Venice of the thousands. He was making 900 pizzas that day. Just to give you an idea so I unconsciously consider him the guilty for what happened to me. Enrico 19:22 So when they think I discovered this I was 40 and 51 I was already in Australia. Now I’m in Australia. My dad is back in Italy. I miss all his all his all this relationship that Georgio miss me for different reasons I did. Enrico 19:38 I miss that with my dad. And when they haven’t said, Oh, crap, and I want to do now now he’s in Italy. So we spent really hours and hours and hours over the phone explaining myself to him because I was feeling the one that was guilty in not even giving back or giving something as a child. Enrico 19:59 As a son, then Georgio Georgio has been on the other side, pointing fingers. You didn’t do this for me do this for me. So it’s been hard as we have. So yes, and brandy changes the way I interact with my kids. But the relationship that I have with Georgia were affected by something as as my dad and my relation was the fact that from something I didn’t add any clue, I tell you until I was 51. Enrico 20:32 So for 45 years, I didn’t remember a single thing about that that happened. Then when they emerged, they made a lot of sense from many, many things, many behavior, many of the reason why I’ve been creating a certain ways and relationship that I had and a lot of things Bill 20:55 That’s amazing. So your understanding of your Self completely changed. And that explained a lot of things, to have answers to a lot of issues that we create, or we put ourselves in, you know, situations that are difficult or we have behaviors that are not appropriate for certain situations. You have to have an explanation for that it doesn’t make it an excuse. Bill 21:20 It’s not, I wasn’t responsible for that behavior. No, you were, but you can go, Well, I know where that stems from. And I now have the ability to intervene and change those things that I don’t like about myself, and I’m speaking to you. Bill 21:36 I’m speaking to you about your experience. But of course, I’m also sharing about my experience, because there was definitely a time in my life where I became a dad at 21. So you can imagine the resources that a 21 year old who’s literally a couple of years out of school has Enrico 21:57 You’re still a teenager at 21. What do you know about life? Bill 22:00 Yeah. When it comes to parenting, I mean, you have no idea. Yeah. And you’re just doing the bare minimum and you’re trying to survive and you’ve got, you’re just hemorrhaging money because you need to survive. You need to keep your wife, your well and healthy at home with the baby and all that kind of stuff. It’s crazy stuff. Bill 22:18 And I noticed that I had a lot of behaviors that I didn’t like, but I didn’t have a way to intervene. And I had a lot of behaviors that were causing me grief, my family grief. And now that I reflect on it, it wasn’t doing a lot for my relationship with my children, my wife, the people around me, anybody. Bill 22:36 So just really bizarre thing going on, where I know I’m not doing the right thing all the time. I’m trying my hardest, but I don’t know how to fix it or how to change it. And that’s the biggest that was the most challenging, most frustrating parts, like, my kids hate me, but I don’t know how to fix it. Bill 22:54 And then there’s that time where you walk into a classroom for the first time and there’s there’s dude’s talking about mBraining and you’re going wow what are the implications of this? Like, how do I apply what I’ve just learned? Bill 23:08 And then as the four days evolves, it’s like, wow, this changes the game in every way, shape, or form. Just to know for me Enrico, just to know, that I could use the word feel was a game changer because I used to apply the word think, to everything before. Bill 23:29 And when I used to get what do you think about having a relationship with me? For example, that’s not something I asked somebody, but if I do, what do you think about having a relationship with me? Of course, what I’m doing is going to create doubts for that person in their head. Enrico 23:42 Why you asked me that. Yeah. Bill 23:45 But just to know that I could use the word feel and that brings them down to their heart and connects them to another place so now the heads doubts so I’m not interested. I’m going to hear what the heart has to say. Bill 23:56 And that’s what I started to do with my children as well as started to use the word feel. What do you know about this? What do you feel about that? How can we be creative about that? And the conversation changed and my children, I reckon there’s a line in the sand where they went from being, you know, dad before mBraining, and relationship with that after mBraining. Bill 24:18 And that’s not to say that we don’t have challenges did they’re still kids, we still have challenges, and I’m still not perfect. So we have challenges, but I can do a lot of what I never used to do, which is apologize for my behavior. Enrico 24:32 Yeah. You don’t be what I believe mBraining gives when people say, if you have to tell me one thing that nobody will give me. And I always most of the time, always apart from courage, but is awareness. Because when you become aware of your patterns and what you do and what do you say, you start asking yourself, what did I just say that? Why did I say that? Enrico 24:54 And if you really go in inward if you’re going outward, go inside. You understand? You start really feeling understanding why you say that. But and you can correct yourself you can correct your behavior. So, but if until now consider that we are managed by our unconscious mind, the majority of everything we do and say and behave. Enrico 25:16 When you become aware of your patterns, because really what mBraining is phenomenal, you know that is about that we are not coaching the content, we are coaching the process, we are learning about what is making, which is the process that makes someone behave and believes in some things. Enrico 25:31 When you give you awareness about that, and that should transform your life my life completely because now I’m aware. I can change it. I can give another example about Georgio. I’m very happy person. I’m joking. I don’t want to you know, tease people because I don’t like to be teased. Enrico 25:50 So I don’t do that. with Georgio sometimes we were in Australia, maybe meeting new people and I was he was coming out with something that was really interesting. I was just joking about this with him, my way was to joking he was taking that personality and get really upset with me one time two times, apparently one day really explosive. Enrico 26:10 You need to stop, do that thing. What is that thing? When did I say this? This he always talking about me. And you know, I don’t want you to do this in front of people blah blah and say, Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I didn’t know there was a problem. And after a couple days, we met with other people. Enrico 26:30 And I went on the same path and I started to do it. And as soon as I started to say, but you do it again. Every time I turn around, I turned around and say Georgio I’m sorry. Now I almost do that again. I’m sorry. And I never did it again because I knew but until I became aware of that because he told me I would have not met never understand I would kept going on and damage our relationship. Enrico 26:55 So mBraining really gives you an awareness about you, how you do things. Why you feeling this way? Why you have as you asked me before, what about your gut how you gut this feeling when you are in the process of making a decision, you feel okay you feel your you know your luck, you have a knot in your stomach, what’s going on inside you mBraining gives to people that awareness. Enrico 27:16 And that is gold because any kind of decision making that could be personal relationship in your work and your anything you do even when you play chess and you have to move some piece instead of another. If you really feel your intuition, gut intuition, the way you feeling. Enrico 27:33 When you feel that moving something you’re making this choice is you know, you’re cringing. You can say, stop a second, breathe, relax, really feel because if you feel it that way, is possibly not the right thing for you. It’s better to consider other possibilities. But until you get to that awareness now so mBraining gives these two people that’s why is sensational. Bill 28:00 I love what you said Enrico about apologizing to your son catching yourself in the moment and apologizing. I know from somebody who’s there never apologize for anything. Not because he wasn’t feeling bad about something he did or said or anything. Just that’s the way they were. They didn’t apologize. Enrico 28:20 You don’t do that. Because you’re not used to that. Bill 28:22 Yeah, you just get on with life. Right. And, you know, at the beginning, I suppose before I became aware of why people do certain things, and stop judging and stop making my own stories about why my dad did this or what my dad did that there was no reason it didn’t do it because he was mean or nasty. Bill 28:39 He just didn’t do it. They didn’t apologize. So when I am when I understood the power of apology for to my son’s like, what that meant and what I was missing out on when I didn’t get an apology when I was influential at their age. Bill 28:54 You could say that they really take a lot of Lot of times I’ll take a lot of comfort out of the fact that for whatever reason you were under resourced, you know, struggling with work or trouble at home or finances or, you know, you’re just a human, you had a bad day and you had to go with them, or you took something out on them. Bill 29:17 But to go back and apologize and to give the children the power of that apology was just an amazing thing. And I was like my parents, early on, I didn’t apologize for things until I realized how much I needed apologies from time to time, and it wasn’t because I needed to be wrong, right? It was just to be acknowledged that you, you did the wrong thing to me, You hurt me a little bit. Bill 29:41 And now with my children, I can do that. And they don’t have to carry all this resentment to their dad when they don’t have the resources to understand what is going on in my life. And they can just go Okay, he was an idiot, and he accepted it and he said, are to me. Bill 30:01 And what I think it’s doing that I never had was it’s just giving an example to them that you know, what if they apologize in future to anybody that it’s going to be really empowering to them and to the other person. And it’s going to change the nature of the challenge of the relationship. Bill 30:16 And if there is a challenge there, it kind of softens the edges of that issue and that challenge, and it allows for healing and forgiveness to happen quicker, and at least in my experience. So I love that you said that you now notice yourself doing that, because that’s one of the things that has been able to massively impact in a positive way, my relationship with my children, and not only my children, my wife, who Enrico 30:41 And I believe in life you know life in general, because I believe that when you go inside really became aware of you, and you start respecting yourself, because the more you know yourself, the more you start accepting yourself in your walker is if you start accepting yourself, when you accept yourself. Enrico 30:56 There’s something that i find on my personally myself, I stopped judging because now I’m accepting myself because my judgment I believe judgment in people is because is we pointed the finger about something we don’t like about ourselves somewhere outside, okay by the moment and you’re really honest with you and you start really doing go through the process. Enrico 31:17 Trough mBraining means association or for that is be really understanding that okay. Oh, wow, I discovered something new today. You know what, I love myself? Yes, that’s a good thing. But I’m very uncomfortable. I don’t know if I can love myself. Yes, you can. Do I deserve to love myself? Oh, yes, you do deserve to love yourself. Enrico 31:38 And when we start doing that, we start judging. When you start judging, you start really looking at things in a very completely different way. You never know with the front of you what is going through. Even if you come to your appointment with the Maserati, and dress up with the Ferragamo. Enrico 31:54 You don’t know anything they are just things the way his living his life and his pains. You don’t know anything so judging someone charging in a situation just from your own biases your perspective that is not from hard but it’s from the sun very limited in the in this really I tell you the way I take to the kids one of the kids i have the little one 18 years old his teacher called me a couple of weeks ago. Enrico 32:24 So he’s been involved in a fight okay we do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and we love that but Brazilian Jiu Jitsu teach them not to fight I mean teach you to defend yourself and believing in defending yourself but you’re not attacking anyone. So it’s weird it’s not in this nature. So I am about to say but I have to say that I’m really proud of him the way he reacted to these things okay. Enrico 32:50 So I asked him what’s going on and he basically saying that this boy when I’m telling you F this one and F this one and F this one and a lot of swearing in cussing in bad things about him and he was totally cool. And he is fiery he is very fiery is it is a little ferret. Interesting. Enrico 33:08 So what how did you feel and say, you know what he was telling me all these kind of things about I, I know that I was not any of those. So, what I have to say something I just prefer to say just a listening is wow, 18 years old already at that level I’m doing I’m proud of myself. Enrico 33:27 I mean, I give him a pat on my shoulders and man you’re doing a good job because if that is the way the attitude towards people towards the don’t take the things personally was not about you. I still don’t do them myself. Enrico 33:39 I’m still learning how not to do that and my kids already because obviously I believe that they neurological tissues are very, very faster and they grow faster than mind that I’m 57 so they learn these patterns in the modes of because they understand that if you don’t get in a fight, you don’t get in trouble. Enrico 34:00 You don’t, get hurt you can possibly not do some harm create some harm on other people. So you know better sit back and be kind. Be kind doesn’t mean because of course, be kind for that means Who are you from Canada everyone will come and kick my and kick me no be kind means then you decide that you love yourself you love this, you kind with people because kindness is created a different energy, throw out a different energy than anger. Enrico 34:31 Anger is really powerful, as much as kindness so they are deciding to be kind because they know on the other side that they can defend themselves if they need. They are bullied, but they are they are really learning how to be kind. And that is massive. We can do this with every school and every kid and every teenager. Our society will be completely different story. Enrico 34:55 If we teach in talking to rock between humans with kindness instead of aggressiveness instead of judgment instead of anger, we live in a paradise and life will be the world will be very difficult I believe is part was part of the grand visually in in using really embracing on a global scale to change the perspective to change the awareness to change a consciousness allow we leave our life and evolve through that. Bill 35:23 Yeah, kindness is like compassion, right? Bill 35:28 is that point being compassionate to others while there is but before yourself, you have to know self compassion, self kindness. And once you know that and you’re good with that and you’re comfortable with that, then you can have compassion for others in any other circumstance. Bill 35:44 And I just know about some of the conversations I’ve had with my family about, you know, people that we don’t speak to that overseas. And you know, those relationships that have become frayed over the years, between uncles and aunties and siblings and all that kind of stuff. Bill 36:00 And it was interesting and I was overseas some years ago and I went and saw my uncle who nobody from my family have spoken to for 10 or 15 years or longer. And I went and saw him and there were all shocked and amazed. Bill 36:12 And when I came back, they all responded differently, I would never have gone. The other person said, is that what he said, You know, one person said, That’s typical. That’s what he would say. And it’s really bizarre. I was just passing on news information. Bill 36:26 I wasn’t doing anything but they were going to judgment. And I lived in the same house with everybody who, you know, who also wasn’t talking to them, but I went there and I spoke to him and I just saw another man who was going through his own hard upbringing, the same hard upbringing that my dad had when he left the house, the family home. Bill 36:46 So he was just as lacking in resources and not only the emotional and cognitive resources and the physical abilities. He also was lacking the environmental resources because He was living it was just after, you know, a war and then a civil war, all of the stuff that goes with it. Bill 37:05 So you look back and you go, okay, I don’t like some of the things that he did or said the behaviors that he displayed. But really that guy is just going through everything like everyone else’s. So I was able to go and see him and be curious about him who he was his lifestyle and it’s not much different from my dad. Bill 37:26 They just have a couple of things that they disagree on, but they don’t have the skills or the resources or the heart to go you know what I forgive you, you’re doing the best you can with the resources you’ve got available to you don’t know that that’s a sentence that even exists, let alone that they can use and they struggle. Enrico 37:46 I believe that culturally we are Greek and Italian. We had that problem with pride as well. Sometimes pride of being you know you do something to me so you know, be pride. I’m right. You’re wrong and You really need as you say, to step on, different move down from you, you and your heart. Enrico 38:05 Really give a chance to be compassionate in you know, and this is really what are you telling me the story of missing is like a reference charge structure, emotional reference touch that is losing, they simply don’t know that because never, never never show them. Enrico 38:24 I’ve been doing recently through my mBraining development and been doing recently a lot of mentoring with volunteer mentoring with teenagers and young adults. So from year 8, up to 12 and it just a little bit older. Enrico 38:39 And you get in touch with kids that if you don’t know them, or if you’re not going through a lot of work on yourself, you will judge them as you know, that kid is like this, that kid is like this, but when you sit down and talk to them, you understand how much should they be missing on examples on principle ports on anything that could couldn’t give them in line. Enrico 39:04 And you as a mentor, just sitting down listening to these people, I call them people because there are others. They’re young where they are, they are people anywhere, they are adults. For me, they talk to you, just being there listening, giving them the space where they can talk and tell you something, and ever, you know, somebody on the other side that I’m just helping them to bring out more and understand what’s going on. Enrico 39:26 There are some their life really, really that is missing their emotional, emotional learning that we never had, especially after the war after the war. Probably like in Italy, Greece, Italy, all Europe didn’t have food that you know, had anything that were really was a fight to survive after the war. Enrico 39:43 And I perfectly understand that because my my mom went to the war, my dad went through the war they my dad was born in 1933. So really between just before and during the Second World War. And you remember there there’s been moments that are really pretty Bed it and you know and it’s dead. Enrico 40:01 Dad was trying to he said before to supply the family as we do war for the family bring the money pay keep hobby they had six seven kids so a lot of kids and so what did they do with Luciana was my dad was a genius in his own they put him on there was a Tata okay at the time they put him in a special school with the managed by the church like sort of college. Enrico 40:30 And basically was seen is dad every six months once every six months every four months. So He’s been missing that contact you know he’s been missing that really emotional intelligence will give you heart and I remember the night when I when my first Italian national championship. Enrico 40:47 I was 15 as a 15 years old you know like now if the kids come home and say you know what, I just sween the soccer game at school. I give them i high five I squeeze I play with them and my dad bought me a new vest by new guitar a new staff and they didn’t say awesome they didn’t give me high they didn’t give me an i five nothing. Enrico 41:08 And I’ve struggled with that. I really suffered deeply with them until later in life as an adult, I come to know this stories and say okay, now I understand why he was there emotionally shy because it was he had a big heart but he didn’t know how to show that heart. Enrico 41:27 So he was very someone from outside is called is like old CS and he was not simply as your uncle, that even learn how to use this. This incredible thing here and I’m more surely how to connect with people. Enrico 41:44 And when I here now was last year in Melbourne, I think some of you remember and some school in Melbourne, come up with the saw that they wanted to preview the kids in primary school to hug each other and say what kids touch everything they touch themselves and bring this tool everywhere they are because that’s the way they kinesthetically, learn how to interact with another human being. Enrico 42:10 If you take away that kind of emotional intelligence, that that act, that it’s really learning for them in teaching them how to interact with others. Don’t be surprised that a 15 years when they are 15, were teenagers. They go around and punch people or then abuse girls because they don’t know better. Enrico 42:29 They don’t know how to interact with other humans. How because they are bad because they are wrong because they don’t know how to in this way, mBraining should be put in school and we are working on and all that all the planets, few trainers and coaches that are really pushing to put mBraining to reintroduce the mBraining in schools. Enrico 42:53 Because they will really change the way kids grow unfortunate societies what it is technologies what it is is always there humanizing people more and more we can do anything we want but we don’t know how to talk with people anymore we send texts and most of the texts my kids send me sometimes what the? Enrico 43:16 In plain English please, what is that thing? (jibberish) Can you speak English? Can you send me a text in plain English that my 57 years old brain will understand Bill 43:30 Or pick up the phone and speak to me. Enrico 43:32 Use your voice no, they don’t do that anymore because of course this is easy and takes your the possibility for you to be to show your vulnerability. I don’t show no one wants to show that because of course when you open up especially gut brain about bond boundaries and in blocks, you know i protection. Enrico 43:53 I don’t want to show the real me because maybe they will judge me and so what when they judge you think is happening? Are you dying for that? No, I don’t like it. Okay, fair enough. You don’t like it? But where you don’t like it like he don’t like it he will do like in your gut I say I think I don’t like it here. Enrico 44:13 Really. So forget for a second and I use foregt about this then. So I say this this and this how you have this feeling? Sad but it’s not that bad. Yeah, so just these are Incredible Machine. And we know the way we use it in sometimes in not appropriate ways. Enrico 44:34 But when we able to detach the energy or more part of this energy, or combination, let’s say it’s no more because it’s not really stop thinking is using the power of the creativity in your brain with your compassion. And with your chorus really isn’t grannies teaching us to use that integrating the state? Enrico 44:52 They cannot use just because they have can be biased as well. You can get in law with something medley. can be really really really dangerous as well. So that’s why we teach them and I teach my kids always feel your Tommy once you tell me tell me how you feeling very first feeling is good feeling or not okay if is that he asked you how to go up in your hand or you ask the feeling about this. Enrico 45:16 Oh sweet okay. And you hear it okay? So I really teach them to integrate their free intelligence is because they are perceiving life in a very different way. And in when I do this my clients they discover through mBraining because this is a basically mBraining they discovered a new realities. Oh, I never thought about another felt in this way. Enrico 45:39 I never consider this and okay, so what if now you consider this and how your life is changing? massively. It’s like having I know, I need an expert in something I called you, Bill. I know you’re an expert about this. Can you help me and I call someone else is an expert about something. Enrico 45:58 So I integrate this free intelligences to get to a better results. That is really making good better decision. That means having better relationships, in your work in your personal life with your kids with yourself. First of all, it’s really, really an evolving and evolving theme that is incredibly powerful. Bill 46:21 Yeah. And it’s you giving the gift of a reference structure. It’s what we spoke about, at the beginning of this loop. We’re speaking about the giving the gift of a reference structure that they will always have, and they can always refer back to non like, unfortunately, some of our dads and our moms and our parents and our uncles and that’s okay. Bill 46:39 They didn’t have that reference structures to go back to I’ve coached people that have gone Oh my God, like, that’s actually something I can do. Or I can ask or that’s a way that I can behave or that’s something I can say. That’s like, yeah, like that person’s been doing it for their whole life. And there’s another person who’s been doing it forever as well. So if they can do it, is there a reason why you can’t do it? Enrico 47:05 Yeah but also being what is really important for me to teach them and for them to do that aware of that, that we are constantly becoming a different person, you know, we grant was using you metal maturana in the saying that we are no human beings that you will become it because we became an every experience that we do. Enrico 47:25 Every feeling that we feel every action that we take changes, I have a conversation that I’m having the conversation with you I’m learning about your family, they are they will come back as they are I can I will find points of connection with something that I experience. So we transform ourselves. So the kids now know that there’s not one life on two lines. Enrico 47:44 There you go. And that’s it forever. Every action and every decision that you make, will have ripple effect that will take you to consider and explore different ways. So really let them understand it. There is no one to single thing and some universe of things you know like, like in geometry between two points, you can have just one single line. Enrico 48:09 But if you can see that from one single point that are infinite lines and exactly what it is, I say, guys, you making this phase when you make a decision is your decision I’m not saying right good, bad, whatever is your decision that will change and take you to other considerations. Enrico 48:25 So, this is what it really important also the talking about reference such about understanding the reference structure, change constantly, constantly change based on your experience you transform yourself in possibly in a better human being in a better version of yourself every second every every moment of your life in the open to different possibilities and roles will take you to challenges because they are life is crap because this giving me this okay, hold on a second. Enrico 48:57 Go back in time you make this decision. decree this report fact that takes you here. I never consider that. Yeah. So we can go back in time, the moment taking my client back to the moment slave on timeline therapy going, Becky, okay, you made this decision? What if now, you feel a different way? What if now you make a different decision, or they would have taken, of course, taking a different trajectory? Now we have two different points here, here. Enrico 49:24 But as we say, between the two points, we have a line. So you have this one here, and you would have could have been here. So how can you What can you do on Can you turn full, we need to become to move from me challenge to what you could have added if you would have made a different decision. Enrico 49:43 And there’s always a path because we are focusing so much on the problem that we don’t see that that we can change yet. Okay, and go back and finish where we wanted to be. We are really focused on on the problem, but the haften the gut I believe that are really theyare like compas as they are helping us to move from this and the focus from the main pilot problem or a problem means that we are possibilities because the problem has possibilities in the problem and when we start looking at that your life is as well Enrico 50:16 But you really need to start understanding and in really install in yourself the the feeling of the understanding that it’s nothing is written, anything can change, everything can change in every day, you know, we have the compassion and gratitude exercise, but also the exercise with the kids So, okay, what do you do today that you could have done differently? Enrico 50:42 Yeah, because I really want them to start understanding that some this year they didn’t make them happy. Oh wow. I was not happy I did. This is okay. What could you been doing differently? And they are absolutely able to tell you that you know, I could have done this. I could have done this. Enrico 51:00 Cool is a learning process because next time, they will learn and do things in a different way, because they really brought this up is what we do with our clients or what I do my clients I’m really helping them to consider when they come with a problem. Okay, how does that occur? Enrico 51:18 Why that is a problem, what takes you to create the problem because you create that awareness again, we got an awareness, we got to give them a plastic like neuroplasticity reference structure that change and evolve the the ontology, Bill 51:35 You’re not slipping into the same river. Every day. Every day. The river is different. It’s a New River, it might look the same to you Am I being the same place but there’s no doubt a rock has moved, a twig fallen in there, some mud has come away. There’s more water in it one day, less water in it the next day. Bill 51:53 When you step in that river. It’s the same river, but it’s not the same river. It’s completely different River. Always evolving you know, so made some, this has been a really interesting episode, I never expected it to go down this path. And this is what I love about mBraining and our episodes, they just go where they go. Bill 52:12 And we’ve been talking about relating, and how relationships have changed and evolved before mBraining and mBraining . I want to talk about one relationship that unfortunately, has changed for both of us is that and and for our community and for the people that knew him. Unfortunately, you know, Grant’s not with us anymore, and that he passed away on June 10, this year 2019. Bill 52:38 And you know, that he was one of my greatest teachers. He was one of the people that really took me down this path wholeheartedly, and I really got a lot out of our friendship. I love the man. I still do. And it was a really difficult day when I found that it finally passed, but I was glad that he was no longer in pain, no longer suffering. Bill 53:02 He went through that for I think a couple of years all that pain and suffering. And from my understanding he and from what I’ve spoken to Fiona, you know, he took it all in his stride and he was still working. He was still releasing pro programs and doing work and sending us amazing resources so that we could be forever aware of all the things that we could do to support the community and the rest of it. Bill 53:26 I just want to understand a little bit about how grant came into your life what was that connected you two guys? Enrico 53:35 It’s been by chance I discovered mBraining by chance I don’t remember who sent me an email saying that is this w backs this world and corporate business online summit in one of the session before the summit that free in one of the session available was mBraining okay, what is this mBraining i love neuro science. Enrico 53:54 I love the heart this nice picture as a listener. And I think was probably On slide 20 15 slides in this stuff that I was i couldn’t stay sitting on my chair and man this thing is one of the missing so it’s like a glue that put together all this you know kind of therapy gets us therapy everything is coming together. Enrico 54:13 This is a so I went on google it was probably midnight one o’clock in the morning a window Google who is this Grant Susaloo never heard about and I find on Google his Facebook link I went on Facebook, I sent him a friendship and I sent him a message say I just said this and I love what he what I heard I want to learn this thing and he answer me he answer me right away typical Grant. Bill 54:40 Even in the morning Enrico 54:41 Yeah oh and always available for everyone be big, big heart yeah, we have a training coming next month. So how much they cost this one okay, send the money immediately that night and I and I start my day the process of of learning this mBraining, I’ve been lucky as you In many, not all of us, unfortunately but we have both of them both the creator of mBraining Grant and Marvin. Enrico 55:08 Marvin another phenomenon, the way he was delivering and making the session the coaching session. I I still use this linguistic in my practice that was sensational. And I learned this in mBraining then became a story of this is not even a relationship with Grant because was that was even more than they you know was my mentor was became my best friend became my mate became the one that we argue about that we swear each other on about stuff that we didn’t agree. Enrico 55:45 I didn’t like stuff about things and community and the people behave in some way. I was calling as a man ever seen this yeah body always trying to put a different pair of glasses on or compassionate calming calm Man Enrico 56:01 I mean about all the time you know. And that piece of me off I remember that we had and you know what? In he knows that because we agreed I recorded the our conversation and I find that I and really massive amount of recordings about our conversation and one of them that I will never never ever Of course none other because they were very personal. Enrico 56:24 We agree that this is for you. This is for me that will never ever ever be really shared with anyone. Any one of them you I’m totally new to I feel man you and your compassion and you start I want you to get upset. Tell me something about these I was really upset and he was you know the way he was talking rather. Enrico 56:45 This another way to look at things okay, this is my way to look at it. Can you look at my the see my way for a moment? No, I don’t want to. I choose not to he was killing me. He was killing me. And in I don’t know was that everything difficult man I’m struggling. Bill 57:08 Sorry for your loss man I understand what you’re going through. Enrico 57:14 I did Sorry for interrupting I did the workshop last last week in prayer for the Australian people therapist Association and I pulled because I feel that is was you for me to put after the first slide is a picture and talking about Grant could not finish talking like she isn’t so yeah, I’m missing I’m really missing the spark I’m missing the fire I’m missing the share that with me I agree with you before before he was still sending me texts to send me messages. Enrico 57:53 Send me a say grant. I would like to create a program program based on these say, you know, what is something I was doing to the But you know, I’m really I cannot do this anymore and he sent me his material He will send me stuff and staying in shape got stuff from the sun developing this way they come back to me unfortunately. Enrico 58:11 I will have to trust my gut and my heart and finish this program my way with it nice final approval. But he was he was there for everyone until the very ending he was also the man I was crying and he was telling me all the story of the depth of the suffering in really in in I felt like a blast if I can use that in any kind of relationship. Enrico 58:37 Yeah, yeah, he might. He was like this with everyone. He was always available for for anything and everything and you say recording new things, recording new stuff. And, man, I’m missing I’m missing the spark honestly, and I respect everyone and every training and master training is community. But it’s not the same. Yeah, fortunately, is Not the same. Bill 59:01 Yeah an amazing energy man of quality, completely different to anyone I had ever met before. Definitely one of a kind. I also used to record my conversations Enrico 59:13 God they were absolutely God because in this conversation he was coming out with ease not because this knowledge was ridiculous. Yeah. He said always about everything was. And I say that we in the classroom, you have no idea. Enrico 59:26 You couldn’t talk to grant about anything. And you want to come up with stuff that hokey? How you know that I you know, I read sometimes I read them and then I’m going to read something else. And I feel nice to be to be a safe lady because he was dedicating his life in studying and transformed his studying in something that people could use to him. There was Bill 59:48 I think there was only one time he told me not to record a conversation and I completely understand why. Yeah, and it was for serious, serious personal reasons and I respected that I didn’t record it. But I recorded the other conversations with His permission as well. Bill 1:00:07 Because I didn’t want to forget what he said. I wanted to make sure that when I wanted to go back and listen to that I could listen to it and get an understanding for him. And I never did that early on thinking, I’m gonna lose this guy. I should record this stuff because when he dies, I’m not gonna have anything. It was because I knew that when I rang him for five minutes, that was a two hour conversation. There was no Enrico 1:00:32 like Kevin was saying, see my phone ringing and say grant Bello, it’s a girlfriend, Callie. Okay, what’s my girlfriend? Let’s go on. And, as you say, five minutes. grant me a couple of minutes of your time. Yeah, no worries, man. And I went off and there was so many gods in there nuggets that they really developed other things. Enrico 1:00:54 Yeah, what’s really gone? Yeah, I didn’t do that. It’s a beer with that intention of all this is going to happen. And I was really too is like it’s cool. I had a professor at school a teacher there was such an incredible teacher without lighting. But he was talking talking talking to me. So we start recording we asked you can we record you and then you know put the transcript on the same was we bring with Greiner. Enrico 1:01:19 Yeah. That was amazing. Man. I really miss the man. Man. And I can tell you, I know if I can say that. But a couple of days, couple of 334 days ago, I was sitting in the kitchen you and I say f you bastard. Yeah. Did you really have to pass you in our in our back from my half? Really? We need this about you? I’m missing that. Yeah. Bill 1:01:43 I hear you, man. Well, this is where we’re going to continue honoring him in our own unique way. Helping people supporting people sharing stories about him. So I thank you for being on the podcast. I really appreciate your time as well. I really appreciate getting to know you over the years. Bill 1:01:59 We have Connected for a couple of years but yeah, watching you evolve. And being part of that evolution with you is like really important to me and it’s been something that’s been really useful because now I can observe myself and other humans as well. Bill 1:02:13 So when I see a tree when I see a behavior in somebody that makes my eyes My eyebrows raised, like you said, it’s me projecting and noticing and then I’m going okay, so I get to learn your openness, your honesty, like it’s been really it’s been really refreshing you know, I really enjoy it. Bill 1:02:32 So thanks for for being you and for being vulnerable and allowing yourself to evolve and emerge and you know, just become this different, more more enhanced version of yourself and in fact, Grant will probably have a better word but I’m going to use enhanced Enrico 1:02:48 in as he said, Walker, thank you for having me. I really appreciate that. Yeah, it’s been a few years and you know, the is really growing and becoming a better person, a better version of ourselves. Every Today is really what really is importantly becaming coming from compassion with love in a heartbeat. I know that our action sometimes done they don’t reflect that. Enrico 1:03:10 But is what I try to do to be a better person as much as I can with people try not to just try and use the word tribe because I know this and if people feel about the best thing you can do is really keep pushing and raining keep really make people aware of that because I still find people that they don’t know anything. Enrico 1:03:34 Not just common people, ordinary people, but really professionals professionals didn’t know anything about Bernie and never heard about. Yeah. When they hear about and they connect the points we what they already know, because mBraining, and then I’ll let you go. mBraining is like a complimentary. It’s something like a glue that put together a lot of things a lot of your practice. Enrico 1:03:57 So as I say to my clients, And my my students I don’t want you to forget about everything this is Just mBraining is integrating and give you more perspective other to perspective gut and heart perspective on what else you’re already doing. Enrico 1:04:12 And when they understand that when this thing that NLP can be transferred also Oh, (inaudible) NLPto my heart it needs to get metaphor oh wow they open the open the infinite possibility. Thank you for having me it’s been it’s been it’s been good to catch up with you it’s been way too much I’m not coming to Melbourne very often unfortunately because of course Bill 1:04:37 You live far away Enrico 1:04:38 We are far away you (inaudible) not close enough. You’d be far away from those but, anyway. Bill 1:04:47 Be well man I really appreciate your time before we do go where if people are interested in speaking to you about coaching or a course or anything like that, where’s the best place that can go to find you? Enrico 1:04:56 The best place is my website and he is under construct

mBraining and Stroke Recovery Recently I was interviewed by Beth Gray about how mBraining helped me my recovery after stroke. Beth Gray is an mBraining  life coach who asks the questions that sometimes make others uncomfortable but helps them to solve problems, providing them with security and direction. This interview was recorded and broadcast on the RecoveryAfterStroke.com website as well. Highlights: 0:00 Strange Sensations in my body 10:36 A dad at 22 12:54 Working too many hours 17:15 Looking for tools to heal 20:40 My introduction to mBraining 24:45 A little old lady 29:01 Get a coach 34:52 Preparing my doctors for surgery 38:58 I can’t walk 42:28 the benefit of doing inner work 45:55 The problem with a great mindset Transcript:   Beth 9:24 So I want to welcome today I get the joy of interviewing Bill, Gasiamis? Is that how you pronounce your last name? Bill 9:34 Beautiful Beth. Beth 9:36 Okay, now bill is another mBraining, mBit coach, but he’s got a really special story because you are a survivor of not one stroke. But I believe three is that correct? Bill 9:53 Indeed, I do things well, when I do them Beth 9:56 Yeah, yeah. Right. Beth 10:00 And what I’m starting to branch out in my interviews in the mBraining series is to go past just chapter nine, and really get into what are different coaches and different people in the mBraining community, really hands on using mBraining for and their individual stories, because there are so many amazing stories within mBraining. So Bill, I’m going to ask you to tell us give us a bit more of your background? And how, how you come to where you are today? Bill 10:36 Yeah, I’ll give you the short version of the background. And Beth because I could talk forever, and people don’t want to do that. So in, look, really it started for me 1996, my, my girlfriend at the time, and I were young, I was 21 and my wife, who’s my girlfriend, then who’s my wife now was 25. And we were expecting the birth of our son. And, Beth 11:10 Wow, uh huh. Bill 11:11 Yeah, so it’s pretty full on. So if you imagine what’s going on at 21 and 25, when people are, Beth 11:18 right, Bill 11:19 don’t have any reference structures for how to live a life. And then you’re bringing this child into the world, what happens is you, you do the best you can with the resources you have available to you. Beth 11:34 Absolutely. Bill 11:35 For me, I didn’t have a lot of resources. So I was running around the place, I was running around the place, working three jobs, Beth 11:46 wow, Bill 11:48 in doing lots of hours, doing a little bit of self care, not really paying attention to my my Beth 11:57 A little bit of self care is that an understatement? Bill 12:00 That is I was doing a little bit of self care in that I was doing nothing with regards to self care. I was doing all the stuff that most people get stuck in doing. And then what happens one day is they wake up and they think about what have I been doing all these years. So I didn’t know that I was doing that. But I had started doing that back then. Beth 12:23 Wow, Bill 12:23 Later, four years later, our second son came on to the scene. And it was just reinforcing. It reinforced that what I needed to keep doing was all the stuff that I was doing working hard, you know, not doing a lot of self care, not paying attention to my body doing all those things. And then in a property maintenance business, you can really work 18 hours a day if you want to Beth 12:52 easily Yes. Bill 12:54 And although I was on the tools for eight or nine hours a day, then there was a lot of paperwork or that type of thing. And I was so in my head that in fast forward. In February of 2012, I experienced a blood vessel in my brain bursting. Beth 13:11 Right?! Bill 13:12 And when the Beth 13:13 So in your head as you say, Bill 13:15 Yeah, I was so in my head that my pressure was up, everything was up like there was just so much over processing going on. And then what happened was, I experienced numbness on my entire left side for seven days before I did anything about it. Beth 13:34 Oh because you were too busy. Of course, Bill 13:36 well, everything was in my head, my head told me that’s nothing wrong. There’s nothing going on. And of course, I didn’t pay attention to my gut instinct. And my heart wasn’t on the scene. So it was just, you know, a passenger in this whole thing. And I was working to make it money to provide to have the bigger house to have the better car to do all those things that will do Beth 13:58 Of course. Yeah. You know, taking care of the necessities. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Bill 14:08 So when it when the blood vessel started to leak, what happened was I went through a process of going to hospital and I was in hospital for seven days. And 14 days after the initial episode, I was sent home and told to not work, not drive, not do anything strenuous not do anything for six weeks until my checkup. And that was to determine whether the bleed was going to be whether it kept bleeding or whether it stopped bleeding, and then they were going to determine a course of action. So Beth 14:44 Wow, yeah, so six weeks later, I bled again. In fact, it didn’t stop bleeding in that six weeks, but it bled again, but very dramatically. Bill 14:54 And that’s second bleed was the one where for the first time, I really started to pay attention. And what I noticed was that I couldn’t finish sentences. I had a lot of cognitive issues. I didn’t understand what people were asking me. I didn’t recognize my wife at one point. I didn’t know my name. Everything was Unknown Speaker 15:17 but the really important things. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, Bill 15:20 everything was gone. So, it was scary. Beth, really scary. Yeah. And I had no real tools to check back in on myself to support myself going forward. I didn’t understand how I was going to get my brain back and and, and, and make the most of it when before I took it for granted. Beth 15:48 Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Bill 15:51 It was it Beth 15:52 because you know what, you know, of all the things I miss the most, you know, I miss my health the most? Yeah, absolutely. Bill 16:00 Apparently, I was healthy before the bleed. But turns out I wasn’t I was doing a lot of things that created a perfect storm to make me unwell. Beth 16:09 Right. Bill 16:10 And, and then I Beth 16:11 noticed on your, on your on your site, you have a lot of articles about all those things and those factors in your lifestyle that we’re adding up to that perfect storm. Bill 16:24 Yeah, absolutely. So I’ll put a couple name a few of those things. Most people will relate to these. smoking, drinking, not sleeping enough, not eating properly. not finding a way to de stress or take time for myself. Doing stuff for other people not doing stuff that I found joyous, and that I loved doing just doing stuff for money. So I think I was like the majority of the population I didn’t see myself being Beth 16:58 How old were you when when you had the stroke? Bill 17:02 So I was I was 37. Beth 17:04 Wow. really young, Bill 17:07 real young. And my children were by then they were 12 and 16. Yeah. Beth 17:14 Wow. Bill 17:15 tough days. So I was looking for a tool to find a way to heal. And I had an amazing friend of mine who was kind of somebody that I knew, but it wasn’t, wasn’t a real friend at the time, they were just on the periphery of my friendship group, somebody I’d met, who said, hey, there’s this thing going on in a couple of weeks in this small dentists, boardroom or office somewhere in Melbourne. And it’s about this thing called mBraining. And anyway, it’s a really good thing. The next thing, why don’t you come along and do this course? Okay, And I thought I don’t know what you are talking Beth 18:00 you aren’t a coach or an NLP coach or anything when you when you went into mBraining. Bill 18:05 So I had done a coaching certificate. Literally. I would say about eight years before that I had learned how to be a coach because I wanted to use those skills in the coaching environment. But when I came, but for my business, you know, to turn my Beth 18:24 Yes, yeah, guys into amazing workers. You know, I did that. I mean, that was that was my whole entrance into coaching was all the training I did was simply for my staff. It was it was really preparing me for mentoring, as opposed to really seeing myself as a coach, I was simply, it was investing in myself so that I would do a better job as a boss. That was it. Bill 18:49 That’s it. And that’s a great thing to do. However, I realized that the time, and I and I realized at the time that I really needed coaching, right, I really needed Beth 19:00 Did you get it? Bill 19:01 And I did I went and got coaching and counselling. But guess what? I got a full bed how to make more money? Oh, of course you did, of course you did. Isn’t that what we all start doing coaching for? I wanted to know how to make more money out of my business I needed to make more money from this And from that, and it wasn’t Beth 19:23 it wasn’t about yourself care? Bill 19:25 No, no, it wasn’t. So brain was just doing its thing, you know, and I look at it. Of course, yeah. But I regret that. It’s just what it did. You know, it’s just how my program was running at the time, you know? Beth 19:39 Yeah. Bill 19:39 So Beth 19:41 when you when you get into that into of course you, how does that change your recovery process? Bill 19:51 Well, it does it from day one. It is the most amazing. Beth 19:55 OK, Bill 19:56 so I’m in this in concert. I mean, co I’m in there with these two strange guys at the front of the room, a really tall one Grant, and this shorter guy, Beth 20:08 right? Bill 20:09 That is kind of Japanese looking, but sounds American. Beth 20:14 But yes, exactly, Marvin. Bill 20:18 This is bizarre like, these are the oddest couple ever. But anyhow, come along for the ride. And, of course, I had no idea about these types of events, because I’d never been to one and the first thing they do is they they go around the room and they say we need people to go around the room and introduce themselves. Beth 20:36 Okay, yep. Standard, standard standard. Let’s open up and introduce myself. Yes, Bill 20:40 yeah. Well, that’s a standard for me then. So I just said, I’ve had a stroke two bleeds by now. And I’m really struggling to understand if my brain is going to come back online. And I started crying. And I said, I don’t know if it is going to come back online. Because the first because I took it for granted in the past. Now. I’m wondering if it’s ever going to come back to normal, you know, and I remember both Grant and Marvin, I believe, said in their own words, said, well, you don’t have to worry about that. Because what you have is you have these other intelligences that can support the brain in your recovery. And that was 15 or 20 minutes in Beth. And I’m like, What? Beth 21:30 Oh, my goodness, I just got goosebumps. I just got goosebumps. That’s beautiful. Bill 21:38 I could not believe what I was hearing and that I was in the room where the people were saying that stuff. And I’m like, Okay, now now I’m strapped in. You tell me what’s next. I’m on. I’m on. Beth 21:50 I yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Bill 21:52 So to give you an idea, the best way that I describe it now is my head had completely switched off. And I had noticed in the months leading up because coach, so it was in November 2012. So from February 2012, I had noticed those strange sensations in my body, you know, the Beth 22:12 right Bill 22:13 My chest was feeling weird. And my belly was doing weird things. Beth 22:18 Well, of course it was there. They’re there. They’re making new connections. Yeah, absolutely. And they’re and they’re stepping up to the plate. This is beautiful. Bill 22:29 Oh, but i’ve got no idea what is going on. I just know these things are happening. And I don’t know what they are. I can’t like reconcile Beth 22:36 that there’s not a doctor in the world that would have explained that to you. Bill 22:39 Not a doctor, not a human nobody in the planet. And then I’m in the room with these two guys who explain within the first few days exactly what I’m experiencing. And I’m going Yes, that’s what I’m experiencing. That’s me. Oh, my God. And I just had all these blinding flashes of the obvious. It was just a surreal experience. And then they take us through the first experience where we get to connect to our heart and connect to our gut. And wow. Beth 23:14 And suddenly, it all makes sense that expanding chest space, that expansion in your gut. Absolutely Yeah. Bill 23:23 whole entire world changed Beth. Beth 23:28 Right. That’s beautiful. That’s absolutely beautiful. Bill 23:34 Yeah. And, and I’m going to tell you an amazing story that happened that weekend. So I’m experiencing these things. And there wasn’t any discussion about entrainment at that point in time and about how I didn’t understand completely how, you know, the heart has a magnetic field that resonates out you know, Beth 23:53 the whole heart app and exactly, yeah, okay, Bill 23:55 I didn’t know any of that. And I’ve gone into a Kmart in Australia, we have a Kmart and were in the morning because I was overweight. I had, I had taken some some steroid medication, I was overweight. And I was really embarrassed because the T shirts that I had, were too tight. And Beth 24:14 okay, Bill 24:14 I hadn’t done anything about my clothing, you know, not fitting me for all those months. And then that morning of the second mor the the morning of the second day, I walked to Kmart ust as it opened. And I bought myself a couple of T shirts. I put my T shirts on, and then my one T-shirt, and then I went to training. But on the way in, I was stopped at the electric doors by this old lady in a frame in a walking frame. Beth 24:44 Uh huh. Bill 24:45 And she was just taking forever to go through the door. And I needed to rush. But something made me aware of her. For the first time in my life, I noticed other people properly. And I just stopped. Yeah. And I walked behind her. And she she noticed I was there. And she just said, you can go past. And I said, No I’m happy to actually sit and wait, I’m all good. And then she started telling me his story about how she was never supposed to walk again. And wow, Beth 25:24 oh my goodness, just breath, just breath Bill 25:29 She was never supposed to walk again. And she was walking. And the steps that she was taking had taken her some unbelievable amount of time for him to do that and get gain her independence. And I think it took us 10 or 15 minutes to walk to the Kmart. And we just got to know each other. And we left. And again, I was just blown away. There’s too many things connecting that right I had never experienced in my life. And it’s only day two. Beth 26:00 just happened that. Yes. right then and there. Yep. Beautiful. Absolutely amazing. Yeah. Bill 26:07 So what happens is we go through the the four days, and I come home, I tell my children and my wife, and everybody and I take them through the exercises that we did there just so that they can experience it and and you know, they are 12 and 16 they dont really care. But they do enough they care enough about dad Beth 26:27 The care about you enough that let’s humor dad. Yeah. Bill 26:33 So I’d like to say that from day one, they started to get that experience as well. And now they’re developing into amazing heart centred, courageous, you know, and compassionate and creative kids that and I’ve seen them transform from being like I was when I was a kid to being better versions of themselves in this time. It’s been really amazing. So that happened, that started to happen then. And then Grant, the end of the four days said to me, You need to become a trainer. So I don’t know, what does that even mean? I don’t even know what to do with this certificate yet. What does it mean to be a trainer? So I did the training. I did the training, and learn, train, and coach and become a trainer. And I I ran three or four coach certifications where we had an amazing experience. And we were lucky enough to have Grant come into our room one day to do open frame at the front of the room. Awesome. Yeah, we I have all those recordings. So they’re great. And I’ve just then, as I as I’ve started to train mBraining and this is the really important message that I want to get out there is that it starts to become embodied a lot more. Beth 28:04 Absolutely. Bill 28:05 Yes. So you have the experience of somebody taking you through an embracing session well, then I took I took an mBraining coach on for about 12 months who who coached me after coach, cert, Beth 28:17 right? Yes, yeah. Bill 28:19 And Beth 28:20 and that is transformational. Because last year, I was doing the inergetics training. And so Wendy, Bruce, Sarah Wayland and I, we got together as part of the inergetics program. And we’re like, well, what we’ll we’ll train each other and inergetics for three months. Well, here we are 12 months later, and we still meet every single week to coach each other. Bill 28:44 Yeah. Beth 28:47 And I, that is priceless. Bill 28:49 Yeah. It is the best part of it is being coached. So if you’re a coach that wants to coach people with mBraining, get mBraining coach and get coached. And Beth 29:00 absolutely, Bill 29:01 I cannot emphasize it enough. And I say to all of the people who attended my coach certifications was do if you do nothing else, just get somebody to coach you for the next however long you like. Beth 29:12 Exactly. Bill 29:13 So training it at the front of the room being coached, just totally embodies and immersed in it. Yeah, embodies the whole process, the whole procedure, and you find little beautiful, additional bits that come up that you don’t expect to come up, you know, emerge up. Beth 29:34 Yeah absolutely Bill 29:36 And, and you say connections were in the past, you missed connections. Beth 29:41 Right. Bill 29:42 And, for me, I’ve still got two years to go before brain surgery. So this tool is going to be invaluable in preparing me for brain surgery and what’s to come after that. Beth 29:54 Right. Bill 29:55 I don’t know that at the time, but I am going in and I am checking in with myself. As a result of everything that I’ve experienced. And all the new awarenesses that I have I stopped smoking. I stopped drinking, I started to change my diet, I started to change the way that I was being in the planet and the amount of work that i was doing Beth 30:14 and your self care. Absolutely, yeah. Bill 30:16 And everything turned around. I was I did this crazy one at about, I would say about two or three months after mBraining Coach, certification And I was without knowing it being guided to prepare my body for surgery that was to come in November of 2014. Right? Yeah. Because then you have the third stroke, right? Yeah. So everything’s going great. The bleed starts to get better, in that it stops bleeding so much. And then one day, I go for a bike ride. I haven’t been for a bike ride now for nearly three years. And I decided I’m going to go for a bike started to feel amazing, right. And the next morning I woke up and I had this strange burning sensation on my entire left side. Beth 31:09 Again, Bill 31:10 I felt like I was in the sun and this left side had been burnt and this side hadn’t that was pretty weird Beth 31:19 di you listen to your body. This time I did. I drove straight to the hospital. Bill 31:26 When I got to the hospital. But I told the nurses at triage. I said, quick get me in because I’m having a stroke. And they were like, What are you talking about? And get me inside of me stroke. You know, this stuff going on. I’ve had a show before. So I know what’s going on. They said give us your name first I said there is no time for that get me inside Beth 31:46 Okay Bill 31:52 this thing. I gave them my name. They confirmed I wasn’t telling stories. And then they took me to CT. And they found that in fact, had another bleed. And then a little while later, my surgeon came in and said and said look, we’ve managed to avoid surgery for all this time, but we can’t avoid it now. What we need is we need to go in and we need to resolve this matter and it’s going to be it’s going to be an outcome, it’s going to be a great outcome because we’re going to fix it and it wont bleed again. And that’s what we’re going to do. Are you up for it? And I said I am up for it. There is I’ve done all the work I’ve prepared myself. I know whatever happens can be a fantastic outcome. Beth 32:38 Yeah. Okay. Bill 32:40 Wow. So we booked the surgery in for a couple of weeks time. Beth 32:45 Okay, so wasn’t immediate Bill 32:47 money. And in the week, in the end, literally, three days after I left hospital for the for that third incident after that third incident, I have a phone call with my mother in law. On the Tuesday she finishes by saying I love you and I told her that I love her. Beth 33:13 Right? Bill 33:14 And then Unknown Speaker 33:18 breath and then a couple of days later she passes. Beth 33:23 Oh, wow. Importance of saying I love you when you finish a call. Yeah. Bill 33:37 So it was so now we’re preparing for a funeral. Beth 33:45 And while you’re preparing for surgery Yeah. Bill 33:50 Yeah. So it was tough. And we I needed the tools that I had gained all those years to keep me in the zone for surgery while caring for my wife and our family. Yeah, and being able to manage and control all the that stuff. who is that lovely person in the background? Beth 34:17 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Little Miss five. You know, Mommy, can you talk to me right now? No, I’m still on the call. Okay. So, Bill 34:30 so what happened Beth was, I wasn’t allowed to be a pallbearer. Because I couldn’t Beth 34:36 Of course not Bill 34:37 risk another bleed. Yeah. Yeah. So we went into, we got through their funeral. And that was tough. And we basically scraped through it. And now my wife’s preparing for me to go into surgery. Beth 34:52 Yeah. Bill 34:52 So of course, I wanted to have a really great outcome. Because I didn’t want my wife to deal with anything else in such a short amount of time. Exactly. Yeah. And of course, she’s thinking possibly This is going to be a terrible time for us. Because if he comes out, or it doesn’t come out of this, well, then what’s going to happen? The world changed completely. So I, I made it the two the three years of work that I had done did really set up for good outcome. So I got to surgery. And I remember talking to my doctors and my anaesthetists. Beth 35:28 Uh huh. Bill 35:29 was the best conversation ever. There was because they didn’t know what is this weird guy saying? Beth 35:36 Yeah, I mean, what do they know about mBraining I mean, it doesn’t matter that you are a neurosurgeon, and you’re going to open my head. What do you know about the neurology of the heart, brain and the gut brain. And Bill 35:53 so there’s a new anaesthetist he’s going in and is trying to find a vein, and it keeps missing, keeps missing, and it keeps pricking me and he keeps missing. And he’s stressing, and I said to him, Look, don’t stress out, it’s all good. You’re doing a great job, you’ll find the vine and you’ll get it in there. And it’ll, you’ll do what you have to do, and everyone will be happy. And I’ll be okay. And it doesn’t hurt me anyway, so don’t worry about it. The other people are talking to me trying to distract me from the needle getting Beth 36:24 exactly Bill 36:26 all the time. And I’m saying to them, you guys are amazing. You guys are going to do a great job. Guess what, I’m going to be the best patient you’ve ever had today. I know that you guys are going to be the most amazing surgeons, and you guys are great team, you know your stuff. And guess what? I know my stuff. But I’ve practice on how to be the perfect patient. So you guys have the best outcome. Right? So I had done a hypnotherapy session prior to my surgery a day before, about how I wanted my body to react to being pricked, cut open, how to bleed, how to stop bleeding. Beth 37:03 Yeah. Bill 37:05 Not to go autonomicly into stress mode, just to stay calm. I was doing a balanced breathing for months and months before that. And also in, in the bed before surgery, I was doing balance of breathing, Beth 37:21 of course, just getting that autonomic nervous system just into that perfect place of balance, Bill 37:27 balance, beautiful balance and their chest. They’re checking my vitals, everything’s perfect. And they’re noticing that my heart rate is a bit low. And I have a condition, which is not terrible, but it’s a condition called a Brady Cardio. And that means that you just have a slightly lower resting heart rate. So my resting heart rate was at about 45 beats per minute. Beth 37:50 Oh, as opposed to 60 70. Right. Bill 37:52 Yeah. They’re Wondering. Beth 37:57 So they’re a little concerned Bill 37:57 Wondering why? And I’m going guys like So good luck with my blood pressure was Beth 38:03 just normal. Exactly. Yeah, Bill 38:05 my blood pressure was perfect. And sure enough, we were expecting about an eight hour surgery. And we were done in four. Wow. Yeah. So recovery after that took a while. To come to and to come out of Yeah, all this stuff. And then Beth 38:25 all of that. Yeah, Bill 38:26 yeah. And when I woke up, I was going into the I was in, I was in recovery. And my family came in and it became really emotional. And they were going to kick them out. So I wanted to not have them kicked out. So I started to balance breath again to bring my vitals down so there wouldn’t be kicked out. Right. So I managed to do that for quite a while. But of course the emotions were all over the place. Beth 38:54 Yeah, Bill 38:55 eventually they, they asked him to leave. Beth 38:58 Right. Bill 38:58 So when I woke up, I realized that I couldn’t walk. Now the way I found out that I couldn’t walk was I needed to go to the loo because they ask you after surgery, do you want to go to the toilet? We need to the toilet, we need to get everything moving again. I said fine. And this most sweetest little short. petite nurse came and said to me, I’ll help you go to the loo. Hold me. Put your arm around me Hold me and I’ll take you Well, I couldn’t feel my left side because one of the complications from surgery was that they interfered with something that meant that I have permanent numbness on my left side, which means I didn’t know where my foot was, and that it was on the ground. And as soon as I got out of bed I collapsed. Beth 39:46 Of course. Bill 39:47 Yeah. Beth 39:48 Of course. Yeah. Because I mean, if you couldn’t feel your foot you don’t you don’t strengthen the leg. There’s a whole lot that happens there Bill 39:56 gone. Straight down to the ground straight after surgery. a massive scar on my head. Yeah. Beth 40:03 poor woman Bill 40:03 Poor woman thinking oh my god, what have I done? I’ve killed this guy. Beth 40:07 Yeah, Bill 40:07 I screamed initially. And then I got back into bed and realize like, Oh, well, we’ll just have to do this another way. Beth 40:13 Yeah, the bed pan way. Bill 40:14 The fun way Beth 40:19 Oh, yeah. Yeah. So. Bill 40:20 So then what happened was I’ve taken I’ve had all the two or three days worth of reviews, and Okay, we need to send you to rehab Bill. Beth 40:32 Right? Bill 40:33 Great. This is amazing what I’m going to go to rehab and everything is going to be better. And when I got to rehab, there was about four or five days delay between when they assessed me and when I could actually get onto when I could actually get on to my feet being supported so that I can start the process of learning how to walk again. Now what I had learned in mBraining and with my so many conversations with Grant and Marvin, was that when you imagine yourself doing something, you in fact firing off the same neuronal stucture? Beth 41:10 Absolutely Yes, you got to visualise first. Bill 41:13 Yeah, as if you were actually doing the thing that you wanted to do. So of course, I started to visualize myself walking. Beth 41:21 For those four days Bill 41:23 for those four days. So I had these heaps of visualizations, meditations that I was doing in the, in my hospital bed, about me walking and how I was walking and how I was holding and how I was moving my foot in the whole. Beth 41:37 Absolutely Yes. Bill 41:38 So when I first got up on my feet, I started to really understand that I had done this before. And it didn’t feel foreign, even though my legs felt strange. Beth 41:48 Yeah, Bill 41:49 it was great. So I did that. With every aspect of my healing and my recovery with bringing the hand to the mouth and picking up a fork and all the things that I needed to regain to get back. Beth 42:06 Yeah, Bill 42:08 it was I two months long state at rehab, which I was home in a month. Beth 42:18 Oh, Bill 42:21 about a month later Beth 42:23 doing this for other people. Now, is that part of your coaching practice? Bill 42:28 Well, I share the story so that people know what’s possible when you do this inner work, when you connect to your heart and when you connect to your gut. It helped me get through the the trauma of the two bleeds initially, my mortality, Beth 42:46 right fear of death absolutely ? Bill 42:46 becoming a better version of myself, because I really struggled with. If I did die, how would my family think of me when I passed? Beth 42:59 Okay, yeah, Bill 43:00 I wasn’t happy with what they may have thought. Okay, I did that, for preparing for my mother in law’s funeral while also preparing for surgery. Beth 43:12 Right? Bill 43:13 And it was transformative. So yes, now, and even earlier on. Even even after the initial the surgery, even then, I was using what I had learned to coach people to overcome challenges, trauma, life changing experiences in their life. So what we’re getting is we’re getting amazing outcomes for people who come in, because they have a head brained idea of what they are going to do like you and I both started off, you know, in our early lives. Beth 43:49 Exactly, yeah. Bill 43:50 And without knowing that they get this transformational work, because they don’t understand the head heart and gut concept. And that’s not how I sell it. Beth 43:58 No, Bill 43:59 but they can this. And they miss out on the time that it took you and I to connect to our heart and our gut right they miss out on all of the other stuff. They just go straight to the heart of the matter, which is they get coaching and then the coaching is transformative, it brings on these neuro neuronal structures into Beth 44:19 Absolutely, Bill 44:20 and it transformed their lives. And it happens quickly. The journey is long, but it’s still the big awareness happens really, really quickly. Unknown Speaker 44:30 Absolutely. Bill 44:31 So how can people get in touch with you? Where do they find you? Beth 44:36 I know they have a page, a page on Facebook, you’ve also got your website, Bill 44:41 they can get in touch with me at RecoveryAfterStroke.com. Okay, Beth 44:46 and your Facebook page is also RecoveryAfterStroke. Right? Bill 44:49 It is and they can also find me at Bill Gasiamis. Oh, okay, right. Now you’ve also got a podcast. Is that on recovery after stroke? Or is that on Bill Gasiamis? yeah. It’s the recovery after stroke podcast, it can be found there on iTunes, all those places where people get that stuff. Beth 45:08 Yeah. Bill 45:08 So yeah, people can connect with me if they want to get out of their head. But they can also connect with me if their head is offline because of a bleed in the brain. And they don’t know how they’re going to go about doing the rest of their life. We can support them in finding the amazing brilliance of the heart and the gut intelligence and bring them to the party so that they can guide the head to get through this really traumatic time. Beth 45:37 Yeah. And so you know, it’s just using all the intelligence to support that recovery, as opposed to just trying to work your way through it with your mindset. And you know, it makes all the difference, like you say, getting to the heart of the matter. Bill 45:55 Yeah, well, mindset is a great thing until your mind is offline. Beth 45:59 Right. Exactly. Bill 46:01 And then what are you gonna do? Beth 46:03 Yeah Absolutely Bill 46:04 So the heart, you know, if people are listening, and that they’ve said things like, I’m going to follow my heart or trust my gut. Beth 46:13 Yeah, Bill 46:14 that’s what you do. When you’re recovering from stroke, you have to follow your heart First, you have to trust your gut. Because? Beth 46:20 Because Because this one needs this one needs time to recover. Absolutely. Yeah, I’m sorry. I’ve got to cut us short. As you know, I’ve got a five year old at home, and I’m starting to get Mom, you need to come now. And we are well over our half hour. Thank you so much. I mean, I could talk to you for a . More, but yeah. So for those of you that are interested in knowing more about how Bill is using mBraining in recovery after stroke, you can get in touch with them directly. Thank you so much, Bill, I’ve really appreciated having you on and getting to know you, you’re a little bit better. And have a great Friday. Bill 47:04 Thank you for doing what you’re doing. I truly appreciate you and the work that you do. It’s much needed. And it’s lovely that you’ve taken this opportunity to do this. Thank you, Beth, Thank you for listening to this episode of the podcast. I hope that you enjoyed it and got something out of it. If you feel that this is something that you might be interested in understanding more about or wanting to learn more about, just send me an email bill at recoveryafterstroke.com and I’ll answer any of your questions. Also, if you liked this episode, and you think that it is going to be useful for other people to listen to please do share it in your community. Wherever you go and communicate with other stroke survivors please let them know about this episode. And and just because I haven’t been asking, if you enjoyed this episode, please go across to iTunes and leave a five star review. It’s going to make the podcast more popular and it’s going to allow iTunes to move it up in the rankings so other stroke survivors can find it and hopefully, it can help them too. Intro 48:13 Discover how to support your recovery after stroke go to RecoveryAfterStroke.com Transcribed by https://otter.ai The post How mBraining Helps In Stroke Recovery appeared first on The mBraining Show.

Davia McMillan is passionate about Living Lives We Love and her business the Life Design Lab is a coaching space that supports creative and compassionate exploration of self, business, environment and relationships. She is a: mBIT Master Coach, Mentor, Psych-k Facilitator, with an ICF (International Coach Federation) ACC credential. Artist at Davia Designs and a Mother of 3 Always a self driven entrepreneur, Davia’s first business after completing her Fashion Design degree in the early 90’s was a international mail-order business for wheelchair athletes, catering to their unique physical requirements. After many years working in human service organizations and the disability sector Davia chose to refocus on her creative passion contributing to award winning landscapes with her Mosaic Art. However missing the human element within her creative practice she then retrained as a coach and mentor, opening Life Design Lab which now offers multiple ways to align head, heart and gut, making wiser decisions possible and generating full self expression and life leadership capabilities. If you are familiar with feelings of being torn between following your heart and doing the what’s logical or even expected, if you experience being blocked and unable to take steps towards your goal despite having a great ‘plan’, then perhaps you are not fully congruent and aligned with your plan. Aligning the intuitive and values driven intelligences that already exist within you can create new possibilities for yourself and your future. Drawing on the latest findings in Neuroscience and combining leading edge coaching techniques such as mBRAINING with years of experience in the creative space, Davia is uniquely placed to teach you some simple techniques that will assist you to become more consciously and consistently aligned with the things that are most important to you. Davia McMillan’s PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY A great coaching conversation creates a space for understanding, choice and action. Effective conversations are the key to finding creative solutions and developing strong relationships that benefit all stakeholders. Everyone can have their needs met inside a great conversation. You can connect with Davia here . http://lifedesignlab.com.au/ Transcription: Davia 0:00 When I’m coaching, I take a few minutes before I made a client to just sit there and get present to the moment, you know, and I put all of that other stuff that you might be going on in my life, I leave it outside the door, you know, because I don’t need that. They just need me to be there for them. So, you know, I always take 5 minutes, 10 if I can, if I’ve got it, take 5 minutes just to sit and do some balanced breathing, and to really get present to who I want to be for that person that I’m going to be coaching today. Intro 0:38 You are listening to the mBraining show. The show about the new field of mBit, where you’ll get a blend of neuro science based research with practical applications for wise living. Bill 0:52 Hey Davia, welcome to the programme. Davia 0:55 Thank you, Bill. Thanks for having me. I’m a little bit excited and a little bit nervous. But thanks for having me. Bill 1:02 You’re welcome. I’m excited too. I think it’s taken me the best part of however long I’ve known you to get you on the podcast. Davia 1:11 Beenn a few years hasn’t it. Just a couple now. Bill 1:16 We got it over the line and it’s actually interesting, because there’s a lot of people that have said to me stuff like “I’m not ready. This is not my time”, or whatever. And I’m very, I’m always interested about that, because we actually just here have a chat. And the chat is relevant to me, you and many, many other people, regardless of whether they’re in the mBraining community or not. Davia 1:43 Yep. Bill 1:43 So I just find that fascinating that somebody is not really ready to have a chat. Davia 1:50 Yeah. Well, I guess we all feel we have to have something of extreme value to be able to contribute to put out there into the world. It worries us that we don’t have that yet; that we are still evolving. At some point, we’re going to get there magically and have exactly what it is that people need. I just had to give that up this week. Bill 2:16 Yeah, thanks for doing that. See, I had to give that up when… and I’ll pretend like, you know, that I’m surprised or whatever. But I had to give that up when I decided to do the podcast, because I was going to be doing this every episode. It was going to be coming on, and talking to people and hoping, hoping that it was going to be worth people listening to or valuable or whatever. And it just is because what we’re talking about is the usual stuff. And everyone relates to the usual stuff. Davia 2:48 Yeah. Bill 2:49 You know, all the challenges that we have, and all that kind of stuff. That’s all usual. That’s what everybody is going through all the time. There’s nobody out there that hear’s one of our conversations and says, “Well, that’s not relevant to me or anybody.” Davia 3:03 Yeah. Bill 3:03 And I think the best part of this is; you’re kind of being vulnerable. But actually, you’re not talking about anything new that people haven’t heard before. Davia 3:13 Yeah. Bill 3:14 We haven’t reinvented conversation, you know, when we do this, but it’s just really fascinating. So what was interesting was yesterday, when we did the test call. Yeah. And I was asking you to get Skype ready, right. Yeah. What was that like for you? Because that was for me, a very interesting response. How does it go down for you? Davia 3:38 Oh, look, you know, I had two hours of complete meltdown. Because my… I don’t use Skype. I use a lot of other platforms. But I don’t use Skype. And I had a Skype account, but I hadn’t used it for so long that they’d actually shut it down and couldn’t get back in and I was trying to get back in, and they were sending… I kept pressing “send code” to my phone, and nothing was happening. And I tried to create a new account, and it just wouldn’t work either. So I went into complete hijack mode, like something was wrong. And I get like this with computers, phones, email accounts, some… Facebook, you know, Messenger, there’s been a whole lot of hacking stuff going on recently. And I’ve received messages from people saying, check out this video. And I get terrified that I’ve done something wrong, that I’ve clicked something I shouldn’t that I, you know, like, I so desperately want to get it right. And when things don’t work, it’s like a personal attack, like somebody, you know, has stolen my stuff, you know? And it’s really pit of my stomach, I feel sick, you know, and I can feel it just sort of rising up and sitting just under my diaphragm. And I feel like throwing up, you know, it just blergh… And it’s like a personal attack. And but my logical mind says, “Look, it’s just, it’s just computers. It’s just stuff, just turn it off and on again, come back later.” Like, but that logical brain actually just goes completely missing in action, when I have some kind of technological stuff up. Bill 5:34 I wonder why that is. So what’s the heart doing at that point in time? What? What’s going on there? Davia 5:40 I don’t think my heart’s even present. My gut is just completely ruling the show. And my heart’s just… it’s shut down in fear and just gone running away. Yeah, it’s just completely a gut reaction around, you know, survival. Sorry, I was going to say, had a lot of stuff stolen when I was a kid. And I think it’s still a memory reaction to you know, being robbed and things like that. I think it’s still the same same thing happening all over again, certainly feels the same. Bill 6:16 Well, there you go. Well, that’s interesting, right? I was, obviously, I was gonna say it’s gotta stem from somewhere, something must have happened. That could be it. What I’m interested in, though, is like now that you have the mBraining suite, and I know you’re a coach, and I know you’ve done some other things before. But now that you have that, is it easier to overcome, to get over it, to notice it? Like, how do you go about sort of just… Davia 6:45 Yeah, totally. Things like that used to be able to wrap me up for days, you know, like it would just continually overshadow the rest of my life for days if I couldn’t get it sorted. And even then, if I did get it sorted, it would still have me rattled. But now that I have mBraining and I’m able to put myself in a nice whole brain state, I can move and shift through this very quickly, just by doing some balanced breathing, and getting myself calm before I take the next step. Because, you know, when I’m just stuck in the gut, I’m in panic mode, “quick, fix it, click it! Put these code in”. You know, “panic, panic!” Bill 7:27 Yeah. Right. So the how about… So it’s easier to sort of overcome, you’re aware of it. That’s what mBraining does for everybody. It gives us awareness. And we understand where it could stem from within us, all that kind of stuff. When you said… Before that, what was happening then? And like, how was it ruining… How are you stuck in it for a couple of days? Like what was it doing? And were you aware that that particular thing that occurred 2 or 3 days ago was still bothering me, 2 or 3 days later? Davia 8:04 I’m not always aware, no. Some days, I could just be a royal pain in the butt to everybody around me, you know, and take it out on them and project, project, my anger and my fear onto my family and friends, you know, just be really snarky. You know, that kind of thing? Little bit of a bitch to be around. That’s the truth. Bill 8:35 Sorry, I can’t relate to you doing that, to me. I can relate to that kind of person. Me being that kind of person. Right. Davia 8:46 Yeah, we all be that kind of person. Yeah. But yeah, that’s how I was, I could be a real pain to be around and, it felt bad. You know, it really felt bad within; I felt sick of myself. Yeah, just wanted to get away from myself. Which of course, is not possible. Bill 9:11 Especially when it’s an identity issue. And you’re using the gut to get away from yourself, but it’s an identity issue. So the two are trying… I’m trying to use the gut to get away from the identity part it’s not gonna happen is really difficult. Davia 9:25 No, you just completely tie yourself in knots. Bill 9:28 Yeah. Take lots of action to tie yourself up in knots instead of untie yourself. Davia 9:33 Yeah, yeah. So mBraining makes, you know, and knowing how to balance breathe and get in touch with my heart and head at same time, you know, and just actually had a bit of an alligned conversation with myself. Take a big deep breath, and, you know, come back to what really matters here. And what really mattered with the Skype thing was getting in communication with you. I have several other ways I could do that. So it was, you know, once I saw that, that wasn’t it the end of the world, you’ve got to go through these steps, because at the time, it just feels like the end of the world. Bill 10:11 Yeah, I know, he’s saying, and the reality was, is that, but that’s why we did the test, we did the test so that we could sort out their little bumps and whatever it was that was going to interfere in the Skype call. Yeah, the day before, so we wouldn’t have the issue when we get to get together. Yeah. And, and that was, that’s the thing, like, that’s what I do, try and work out with issues that we overcome them, because often I’ll organise a Skype call, and you won’t believe it, you know, all the technical things go wrong. As soon as you get together with that person, and you’ve booked in an hour. And all the problems happen then. And it’s like, “Okay, well, this didn’t happen yesterday”. Or “this worked the day before” or whatever. And it’s just one of those things. So I try to solve the problems before they happen. But in this case, I didn’t realise I was going to be creating a challenge for somebody, you know? Davia 11:04 Well, you know, it to me, using Skype was like a, an entirely new piece of equipment that you’re asking me to use. Because it’s not something I’m familiar with. So when we first turned it on, you could only hear me you couldn’t see me, I hadn’t yet worked out where the video button was on the Skype. You know? It was new. It’s all new. Yeah. Bill 11:26 You know, it’s interesting. It’s interesting to observe you in that situation. Because I’ve had the pleasure of having to observe you in coaching. Okay, so as an amazing coach that’s helped me and my family, overcome a couple of little things in the recent past. And I see you as somebody that absolutely is going to be involved in the next, you know, phase of me, sort of overcoming some of the challenges that we have at home, just the standard stuff with you know, kids, teenagers, all that kind of stuff. Davia 12:02 Yep. That stuff. Bill 12:05 And I do that; roll my eyes, and I talk about as if I was never one. Davia 12:09 Yep! Keep that in mind. Bill 12:13 Okay, bring that up when we start talking. Davia 12:15 Yeah, yeah, keep that in mind. Bill 12:17 So it’s really amazing to watch you in action, and to experience your coaching. And then it’s really interesting to see that other side of the person. And it’s… Remember what I said, when we first started, like, it was like, this is just a conversation. It’s two people, we all have all these things where we’re awesome. We’re in flow. Davia 12:35 Yeah. Bill 12:36 And when things are great, and then we’re not in flow, things are not great, apparently. Davia 12:44 Yeah. Bill 12:44 What do you notice that’s… Davia 12:45 We all go through that. Bill 12:46 Yeah, right, and your confidence in coaching and your confidence in helping us and all that kind of stuff; that’s a completely different version of yourself than the one that I saw yesterday, what is different for you, when you’re in flow? And when you’re not in flow? What do you notice that’s different? How do you think you kind of get from one to the other? Davia 13:08 Well, I think it’s, I think it’s about really being present. It’s giving yourself the time to get present. You know, like really… When I’m coaching, I take a few minutes before I meet a client to just sit there and get present to the moment, you know, and I put all of that other stuff that might be going on in my life, I leave it outside the door, you know, because they don’t need that. They just made me to be there for them. So, you know, I always take 5 minutes, 10 if I can, if I’ve got it, take 5 minutes just to sit and do some balanced breathing, and to really get present to who I want to be for that person that I’m going to be coaching today. What is it that I think that they might need? And you know, they more often than not, they just need someone to actually really hear what’s going on for them, like, deeply understand what’s going on for them. So it’s more about listening than it is about talking. And the more I coach, the less I talk. That’s, you know, there’s a really good thing that… a gift that I got given by another coach at the end of last year, and it’s a little acronym called WAIT, and it says, “Why am I talking?” Yeah, and that is just the best gift. You know? Wait, wait. Just let the person really get present themselves. Bill 14:53 Wow, yeah, that’s really holding the space for that other person. Yeah. Davia 14:56 Yeah. Yeah. And it’s really hard to do. Because we have thoughts and opinions, and we want to share them. And we want to show people how brilliant we are. Really, we want to help them. Yeah. But more often than not, when people come for coaching, they actually just need someone to be with them and hold the space for them. So that they can go through whatever it is they need to go through to internally process it. Bill 15:27 Yeah, that’s very cool. WAIT. It’s such a simple acronym. It means so much though, like it just really changes the game. Why am I talking? Like, that’s great. Davia 15:39 Yeah. You just ask yourself that. Why? What is it that I’ve got that’s really valuable here? That they can already tell me? Bill 15:49 Yeah. Okay. So that’s interesting. So for you, it’s pretty simple. And I know it is for me similar, the hold the space, just breathe. Just come to a balanced sort of state. And things tend to flow. Davia 16:06 Yeah. Bill 16:08 Now, how does that work? When you are sitting down painting one of your beautiful paintings, and you’re looking at a blank piece of paper, or cardboard, or whatever it is that you paint on a canvas? How does that work? Do you ever sit in front of the screen and go, “Oh, my god, there’s a piece of paper there”, or “there’s a piece of canvas that and there’s nothing going on it? I’ve been sitting there for two hours?” Davia 16:31 Yeah, I don’t wait two hours. Just don’t have the time to wait two hours. But yeah, definitely the experience of the blank sheet of paper is, it’s rather intimidating, you know, because you feel that you’ve got to put something, especially if it’s a really nice piece of you know, paper that you’ve been saving, and you, you want to use it and it’s expensive, or it was a gift or, you know, like sometimes we just come across that beautiful piece of paper and think, I really want to do something special with this. But the more special the paper is, the more intimidating the process becomes, and making that first mark gets worse and worse. Bill 17:13 Wow, interesting. So I didn’t expect you to say, a very beautiful piece of paper, a piece of paper as a piece of paper. Davia 17:22 Yeah, look, it could just be a really nice, you know, A4 sheet of copy paper, who knows, but that first mark, has a lot of expectation in it. So sometimes I just chucked something at the page. Bill 17:37 Whose expectation does it have? Like, where does expectation come from? Davia 17:45 You know, it depends, it depends whether you’re doing, what your intention is, when you sit down to do a piece of art, okay? Is the intention that, you know, this is going to be part of an exhibition, and you’re going to show yourself as an artist, this is, has it got a purpose of some, you know, you’re creating a birthday card for someone really special or maybe, you know, you just want to doodle, that’s a different experience, doodling is easy because no one, there’s no expectation that anybody’s going to look at it and critique it at the end. But if it’s something that other people are going to see, you can start getting a little bit scared about what it is. And I know, a couple of years ago, I came back to art after a long break. And I decided that I would go along to some life drawing classes. Bill 18:39 What’s a life drawing? Davia 18:41 Life drawing, so naked bodies, people in a room with, you know, a ring of people around them all with easels or, and drawing boards and things like that. And you do a lot of really quick warm up drawings, and then you might have a longer pose that you study the person and so it’s life, there’s movement involved and… it can be anywhere from 30 seconds to, you know, few hours. But I was going to life during class and I felt, I took this nice role of crisp white paper along with me that I bought some lovely new cartridge paper, which is not super expensive. So I was sort of like oh yeah “well, whatever, you know, it’s just cartridge paper, no expectations.” But I still found it really confronting. And so a couple of weeks in, I just grabbed whatever paper I had lying around the house that was like, newspapers, things like that. And, but these are going in the bin, if I don’t use them, they’re going in the bin. So it doesn’t matter, I can just draw all over it. And it’s not about actually producing a piece of finished artwork, it’s about just getting in the flow of my own signature, my own way of working, you know, knowing my own hand and mark making ability. So I just drew all over the newspaper, because it was going to go in the bin anyway. And if it went in the bin, at the end of the night, who cares, you know, I would have had two hours of drawing and expressing myself and getting familiar with my own hand. So that the… Bill 20:25 Did it go in the bin? Davia 20:26 No, didn’t go in the bin because what emerged was this conference, this confidence that you have, when no one’s looking. It’s like, you know, when you dance in the dock, and no one can see you? You know? Bill 20:41 Lucky they can’t see me, but anyway, Davia 20:44 Or you sing in the shower, and no one can hear you. So it’s a bit like that, you know, that confidence that you get, when no one is looking and no one cares what you do. And then the most magical stuff emerges. You know, you start to just let go of all of the expectations of how it should look. And really just let your body and your hand and your eyes just flow. Bill 21:11 Yeah, it’s really interesting. I was coaching an amazing young artist who is a singer, a dancer, she just does multiple different things. But she had this real problem performing in front of a crowd on a stage and the whole conversation was about “Not good enough. Not this, not that.” Davia 21:40 Yeah. Bill 21:40 In her own mind. So in the mind, that would manifest feelings in the gut and in the heart, but mostly in the heart, it was manifesting real problems for her, like real concerns and issues because she wasn’t living her truth. Davia 21:56 Yeah. Bill 21:56 You know, in her gut, she was all, you know, mucked up and all kinds of stuff was going wrong. And there was not a single person that listened to her sing. That said, you can’t sing. Davia 22:11 Funny that. Bill 22:11 There was not a single person that listened to her… to watch the dance and said, “you can’t dance.” Davia 22:16 Yeah. Bill 22:18 And she was amazing. She had an amazing, naturally amazing voice. And she would kind of have stage fright issues and all that kind of stuff. She would book herself into gigs and then she would cancel. So it’s interesting that she was a creative and had similar blocks in expressing herself in her chosen form of expression. Davia 22:39 Yeah. Bill 22:41 So when you’re coaching somebody that is looking at a blank piece of canvas, can you share some of the experiences that you’ve had in helping people get through that, like, move beyond the stagnation or the fear or whatever it is… What it might be for that person? What’s happened in the past, like, for your clients, what did they come to you with? Davia 23:08 You know, even this morning, when I was thinking about coming online and talking to you, and, you know, I do my hair and getting ready and thinking, “Oh God, you know, I’m going to be on video.” And that’s intimidating, because that’s not something that I normally do. This, this thing comes up, where I make fun of myself. You know, I bring a lightness and a comedy to the situation that says, “Well, you know, who I am is who I am and people are going to like or, not like me. And I just got to like me, and I’ve got to be able to laugh at myself. Because if I can laugh at myself, it doesn’t matter if other people laugh at myself. So I actually have this little thing. I was joking with my daughter, that it’s like being a performing seal, you know, and I go… Smacking my flippers together, you know, and immediately it’s funny, you know, because I’m being an idiot, you know, making myself silly. And that just brings a real lightness to the situation that says, “Well, whatever. Whatever happens happens.” And it’s like, when I’m with a with a white page, I encourage people to put a mark on it to just throw something at it, close your eyes, draw with your with your opposite hand, you know, do something left brain, right brain sort of change your position. Do something that interrupts the way that you’re feeling? Yeah, so it might be, it might just be do some warm up exercises, imagining the picture in your head, and drawing it with your eyes closed. Yeah, draw it on a piece of paper, that doesn’t matter, that you’re not attached to. Just get in the flow first. Or use your other hand or draw something without taking the pen off the page, you know, just draw it in one continuous line, ends up looking a little bit scribbliest. You know, it doesn’t make sense. But you don’t expect it to make sense. It’s like being a performing seal. You know, you’re not going to do that when you doing something professional and in public, you know, in front of an auditorium full of people. But if you already get yourself in that relaxed frame of mind, and you get present to; I’m just here to, you know, to share something, rather than being criticised, or these people have come because they want something. They want to enjoy the moment. Bill 25:58 Yeah. And that’s the thing is, you’re not going to be criticised for doing something. But we criticise ourselves all the time. Davia 26:08 Yeah. Bill 26:09 Before we’ve even done anything! Davia 26:11 Yeah. Bill 26:11 I heard something interesting yesterday. And I’ve heard it before. And I’ve even used it before. I heard somebody say like, “if somebody else spoke to you, the way that you speak to yourself, you wouldn’t stand for it. Davia 26:25 Yeah. Yeah, it’s incredible what we do to ourselves. Bill 26:30 You know, you’d be like, get out of the door, go home, I’m not interested in talking to you. You’d probably be a bit more forceful than that. So I find that really interesting that we will cop it from some, in some ways, you know, will allows us to cop it but in other ways we won’t. Why is it that it’s, why is it acceptable to accept our own criticisms, and to criticise ourselves to make ourselves feel bad? But why wouldn’t we accept it from someone else? Davia 26:57 Yeah, it’s crazy, right? We all do it. And it appears that that is human nature. It is it is what we do to ourselves. And it does, in hindsight, seem really, really quite mad. But the trick is in noticing that we’re doing it and reminding ourselves that everybody does it. Bill 27:20 Yeah. Davia 27:21 When you when you know, that everybody else does it, and then, you know, “it’s actually not about me, because that person is doing it, too.” Bill 27:30 Yeah. Davia 27:31 You know, they’re meeting me with questions about themselves. How are they presenting? What do they look? They looking good? Are they looking bad? So the pressure kind of gets taken off you when you know that the other person is doing the same thing. They’re not as concerned about you as they are about themselves. Bill 27:50 Yeah. Davia 27:51 Quite often, majority of the time. Bill 27:54 You’re right. Davia 27:55 Yeah. Bill 27:56 They’re doing exactly that, they’re focusing on all the problems that they’ve got, and how they’re going to appear and all that type of thing. And they’re probably thinking that you’re amazing, for some reason, and we want… and they want to be like you or feel like you are have your confidence, and you’re just putting on a show anyway. Davia 28:11 Yeah, isn’t it nuts? So, you know, when you realise that the other person is meeting you in exactly the same space with the same concerns, it really lightens the situation and it’s very freeing, you know, because then you can work out who you want to be for them. Rather than trying to get it right. You know, you can… you have choice in the matter. Who you want to be for yourself. Bill 28:42 Yeah. Have you done exhibitions before? Davia 28:45 Yeah. Yeah. I had one a few years ago. Hang on, I’m going to tilt my screen; here’s some, can you see? That’s some of my work in the background, this is my studio, by the way. Bill 28:58 It reminds me of a Greek church, when you go into a Greek church. There’s just icons everywhere. Davia 29:02 Yeah, it’s a bit like that. These are leftovers from an exhibition I had a couple of years ago. It was massive. And I sold a whole heap, but there’s still some left. So, you know, I keep them round. And every now and again, someone comes around and buys one off the wall. Yeah, yeah. And that that was, I’ve got one here. Hang on, find one. From the last drawing class, when I drew on the newspaper. I’ll hold it up. All right. Here’s one. Bill 29:33 For people listening on iTunes… Davia 29:36 It’s a naked body lying on a side. And it’s drawn over the piece of newspaper ad of the Sunday magazine, The Age Sunday magazine. It’s a newspaper we have here in Australia. And it’s… you can see the pictures coming through underneath. Bill 29:58 So, “take it easy”; was that the headline on the page? Davia 30:02 Yeah, that was the headline on the page. And it was… it’s a recipe actually, for paprika pork skewers with capsicum salad. And that’s why this woman has the skewers coming through her because that was part of the picture underneath, and then she’s over the top. And what I was thinking about when I was doing this drawing was about the torture that we put ourselves through in regard to our own body image. So “take it easy”, is fitting, you know, we put ourselves on skewers, we came stabbing ourselves about how we look, and you know, body image is huge. Bill 30:45 I love how you took that page that came out of a magazine, or a newspaper has different, you know, has a different, I beg your pardon. Has a heading that’s regarded as perfect for that context by the person who put that together. Who’s got a recipe that talks about food skewers, the rest of it. And you’ve turned that into actually a piece of art that is interesting, really confronting to look at. It’s bright, full of colours, it really attracts you. Similar to a place of food, you know, it’s really bright and attracts you. But you’ve changed the whole context of the skewers what they mean now; what the headline means. That’s just amazing. I think that’s brilliant. Davia 31:33 Yeah, she’s a bit of pork on the skewer. It’s not really. Yeah, what the mind does when you’re in flow hye. Bill 31:43 Yeah wow, amazing. I thought that you typed that lettering at the beginning when I first saw it, and I love how it just came from… the inspiration came from a page of a recipe, and you’ve turned it into that. Davia 31:57 Yeah. So you know most things about creativity. There’s nothing new in the world, we just recreate things, you know, we just keep turning them over. And, you know, it’s a new iteration, it’s a new take on things. So we give it our own flavour and our own style, and everything is built on something that someone else has done before. Yes, it looks new, no one else has painted that picture before. But you know, I built on what that person wrote and who put that, that recipe and article together. And I selected that page. When I read through the paper, I went “great that’d be fantastic to draw on.” And I just held it to the side until I found the image that I wanted to put on it. You know, I can see it when it appeared. When the woman lay down in the life drawing in class I went “that would work.” You know, and often they don’t work. Yeah. But that one worked. Because I was in flow in the moment. Bill 33:06 I wonder what the person who put that page together with think if they saw that page now. Davia 33:11 I don’t know it’s Bill Granger’s recipe, I should give him a ring. I don’t know. Bill 33:18 I just think that’s amazing. So I was going to ask you about getting ready for a show that you were going to work together, right? So setting up an exhibition. What’s that like? How was it the first time that you were… that you decided “I’m going to get my art and I’m going to put it on display, and I’m going to invite people to come and see it.” Davia 33:44 It took me six years to get a solo exhibition together. Six years. And it wasn’t until I got myself a coach. And she said, “What do you want? What do you really, really want?” I said, “I want to have an exhibition.” And she said, “What’s stopping you?” And I went down all these rabbit holes this and this and, you know, it just went it went nowhere, just full circle back to I want an exhibition. And she said, “just go, here’s the place, go and sign yourself up.” And I walked in the door of this gallery. It’s really nice gallery. And I spoke to the manager there. And I said, “I’m thinking about having an exhibition”. You know, “how do I how do I go about booking one?” And she opened the diary straight to the page. And she said, “Well, you can have this fortnight or this fortnight.” And then she said, “Oh, no, you don’t want that fortnight that in school holidays, and no one will be around here then.” So it’s that one was like, “Okay.” That was all it was left in a whole year’s diary. There was a fortnight left. Bill 34:52 Wow people are exhibiting all the time. Davia 34:55 People are exhibiting all the time. And she said, “there it is that’s you” And I went, “okay.” And it was like I had 10 weeks, I think, to get my stuff together. So I just worked really hard for 10 weeks, because once once I had committed and given myself that deadline, it just had to happen. And I had lots of work. Bill 35:18 Ready to go? Davia 35:20 No, I’m not ready to go. I had work that still needed to be framed and mounted. I did most of the mounting onto canvases. So there was lots of.. yeah, finishing work to be done. But I just used every spare minute that I had, and got it done. So that was that decision. Once the decision was made. Everything was easy. Just flow. Bill 35:49 So it was kind of like the other person booking it in almost for you, was kinda like, “Oh, well, I’m committed now I’ve gotta go for it.” What was that a relief? What was that like? Why did that make a difference? Davia 36:06 Let’s see. There’s a great questions, Bill because I actually hadn’t thought about these, I just did it. Yeah, looking back, once I’ve made the commitment. And I’m very big on commitment. I don’t go back on my word. So if I’ve said I’ll do something, I’ll do it. Bill 36:31 I love what you just said, “I go back on my word.” So we don’t take action backwards. Going to take action forwards once you’ve given somebody your word. Davia 36:41 Yep. Yeah. Bill 36:43 That’s so cool. Davia 36:44 Yeah. So it was once once I’d said, “Yes”, that was it. And it was something I wanted, right. So I already had a heart. My heart was in the game. This is something, my heart had actually playing the game for about 6 years. But my gut had been terrified. And there was no action, because it was a huge threat to my identity. You know, what if I, what if I put together this whole exhibition, and spent all this money and time producing it. And then no one showed. No one showed let alone bought anything, you know, that would just be the worst. You know, and then all of the complications about the how the, because I was so scared. And having that gut resistance, my head wasn’t in a place to actually take the logical steps. Like it wasn’t in a place to actually make the list of all the things I needed to do, to get the process right to get the emails out to actually invite people to, you know, to find out what you need to hang an exhibition, there’s logistical stuff. How do you actually get the stuff on the wall and get it to stay there? What’s the hanging system like? All of that sort of thing. My brain could not compute any of the logistics, while my gut was in, scared and terrified. So, you know, once I’ve made that commitment, somehow, I found the courage to bolster me, to support me, and once that courage sort of came to the surface, then I could think clearly, then my head and my heart and my gut were aligned. Bill 38:37 Yeah. Yeah, that’s awesome. So really, what happens is, it’s possible for you not to have to think about all the other things in the decision making. Somebody has booked it for you. Now you’ve got to commit because you don’t get back on your word. So you have to take a forward step; the gut’s trying to work out, “how do I do that.” Getting the head involved in that time? It’s kind of like not necessary. It’s just like, let’s just overcome this and work it out and move on. The head involved later with the logistical stuff kind of also gives the gut a bit of a boost. It’s a bit of a pep up. “Okay. That’s how we take action.” Davia 39:14 Yeah, it gives it some reassurance. Bill 39:16 Yeah we’ve gotta hang this, we’re going to do that. Okay. There’s a solution to that, and people have done it before. That’s how it’s going to get done. So there’s one less thing you’ve got to worry about, and the guts got a… sort of be concerned about. That’s just got to get comfortable with starting to identify as an artist who exhibits. Davia 39:35 Yeah, yeah. And actually saying that, you know, declaring that that’s what I was being. “Okay, I am being an artist now, not just somebody who dellies away in her back room, and, you know, has a bit of fun with colour.” You know, just saying “Yeah, actually, right now, this month. I’m an artist. That’s what I’m doing.” I don’t have to declare myself as that forever. But that’s, that’s who I’m being. I’m being someone who creates and shares what she does. And she’s allowed to be a little bit vulnerable in that process. That’s okay. Bill 40:19 Interesting. So, you know, when I was preparing to speak for the first time in public; I went along, it was after my second bleed in the brain, so the second stroke. And what I did was, I joined with the National Stroke Foundation. And they, part of the role was going to be to go out and talk about stroke prevention and awareness. Share my story, share the statistics, and all that kind of stuff. And actually, I thought, that’d be great. Because I didn’t start from I want to be a public speaker started from I want to get out of the bloody house, I’ve been in the house for six months. I’m bored out of my brains, I want to get out. And it was going to meet some people that were similar to me. And you know, I was going to learn a new skill, but it was never going to be about public speaking. Then we got to that front room. Then we got to the room, and you know, me my personality, like, I like to talk a bit. And I like to stand out in a crowd. And I like to do all those things. I have no issues with people, the focus being on me. And the first time I got up to speak, I started to notice that my heart was racing, I was getting excited. And because my head had switched off, like there was none of the self denial, the self negative self talk, there was none of that stuff. “You can’t do this. This is not for you”, or that kind of stuff. And it’s interesting how they trained us to do a 1 hour presentation, they trained us by starting with the first minute. Get up and talk for a minute about yourself. I could talk for days about myself. Davia 42:02 That’s putting the mark on the page. Yeah, you know, like I say start with it. Start with a page with something already on it. Bill 42:09 Right. Okay. Davia 42:10 Yeah. Could be your part could be someone else’s. Bill 42:13 Nice. Nice, right. So… Davia 42:15 There’s your minute. Bill 42:16 I got up, spoke for my minute. And then what we’re doing. And I didn’t know then, because I hadn’t come across mBraining yet, was that we’re building neuronal structures. And slowly, as you know, we spoke more and more, the more we spoke, the more the neurons would connect, and we more would start to identify head, heart and gut in those spaces, the different parts that we needed to identify with to grow those structures. Start being a public speaker. But like you, I didn’t say that I was a public speaker or a spoke publicly or anything like that. People used to ask me, “what are you doing now? You know, now that you’re getting better?” You know, do this, I’m gonna do that. And sometimes I go and speak to people about stroke. I hadn’t started to identify as a public speaker or anything like that. And I don’t really know what that term means. I think that terms a bit weird. Yeah. So it took me a while before I got to the point where I was completely comfortable with being able to say, I actually am amongst other things, somebody who is a public speaker. Yeah. And you could book me for that, if you wanted to book me for that. What’s really interesting to see that your approach is extremely… I relate to it so much. And I’m talking about speaking and you’re talking about, you know, drawing. The fears were the same. “What if I say something wrong? What if I make a mistake? What if? What if, what if, what if, what if?” And it’s kind of like, there isn’t anything wrong that you can say you don’t have to relate to everybody. Davia 43:53 In any process… Creative process, whether it is something like, you know, forming an opinion, and then speaking publicly, or doing a drawing and, or painting or taking a photograph and then displaying it publicly, there’s a whole lot of blocks along the way, in the process. Sometimes there’s just the getting out of bed believing that you are that, you know, that that’s what you’re going to do. Finding the motivation to get out of bed and be that thing, whatever that thing is, for the day, you know? Connecting with your passion, finding your heart in the game. Yeah. So sometimes, that’s the first block is getting up. The second block is actually making your mark deciding what it is that you’re going to commit to doing on the page or in writing or by speaking. And then the next part is being brave enough to find an avenue to share that, whether it’s, you know, booking the gig; where do you… How do you do that? Where do you go to book the gig? Who do you speak to? What contacts that you got to build on? What are they going to say, when you ask and present yourself? Are you going to wait for them to come to you? You could wait forever. Because no one knows that you do it. You know, so how do you promote yourself? All of that, there’s blocks everywhere. And recently, I worked with some young people in a band, you know, and they’re young musicians. They have got great, new material. But they’re sort of latching on to other people’s bands and doing the the sort of not the main show they’re doing the warm up, you know? And how do they get an audience and build the confidence? And maybe it is not being the main show in the in the beginning? I did group exhibitions. Well before I ever did a solo one. And I haven’t actually done a solo one in the last two years, I’ve been concentrating more on my coaching. And now what I do is these doodles, 5 minute doodles, and I just, you know, page after page. Bill 46:24 Show us a couple of them. Davia 46:26 Okay, so 5 minutes, is just, it’s a little A5 sheet of paper. And I just make a mark on the page. Colour it in and you can sort of see this texture. So it’s a scratch on, scratch off kind of thing. Here’s a hearty one. It’s just making marks. Bill 46:46 Yeah, hat’s pretty that one. Davia 46:47 And having fun with colour. Yeah, this is not particularly good for the radio audience. Is it? Bill 46:57 No, but we will pop all the images on the actual page where I load the podcast show notes. So that people can go there, when I share it, they’ll be able to see it. Davia 47:09 Yeah. So with these images, they are, I’m just committing to making a mock, and getting in the flow, being familiar with my own personal signature. So I didn’t create these images to be shown anywhere else. Or for anyone else. They’re just 5 minute de-stressors really sit down and just get whatever emotion that I’m dealing with out of me and onto the paper. So you know, I might be scribbling away furiously if something’s really annoying me. Or I might just be processing something with some, you know, more fluid kind of strokes, or dabbing, or stabbing or anything. They’re really moods on a page. Bill 47:58 Yeah, I was lucky enough to go to the Guggenheim in New York, when we were there a few years ago, and the Pablo Picasso exhibition was on. We nailed it not because I know anything about art. But just because, you know, it’s Picasso, you’ve got to see Picasso’s stuff every once in a while. And we got there and… What I was amazed about was the amount of drawings that were there, that he had drawn. Paintings that he had painted, whatever. And a lot of the things they were stuff that he considered to be incomplete, or the test ones or whatever, like it was… They looked amazing. I mean, they didn’t, didn’t have any less to offer them the finished product. Davia 48:49 Yeah. Yeah. Because you’re seeing, you’re witness to his thought processes and his feelings on the day. And actually, those raw drawings can be I think more emotive than the finished artwork. Sometimes they’re less labour intensive. They’re just raw. Raw emotion, raw thought. Bill 49:11 Yeah, like, it’s just, it was brilliant to see that now what he considered to be not relevant or wrong, or whatever was actually being shown, and people were paying to see that and people were learning to see, you know, learning from that. And me who’s not really an artist in any way, shape, or form in that sense of the word like… putting stuff on paper? Even I thought that “Wow”, like, you know, that’s got a lot to offer. And I imagine that it’s got a lot of value now. Like, it’s extremely valuable. Even thought it was something that he could have just discarded, and he probably discarded tapes of them. Davia 49:51 Yeah, incredibly valuable. It’s the inner workings of the guys mind, you know, you saying it in action. You’re seeing his process and action. Through those pages. It’s quite amazing. Bill 50:03 Yeah. That’s what I find interesting. Like when I’ve been to your place, and I see this stuff on the wall. And when I see them behind you now, it’s kind of like, they’re no different. I get the same experience that I got when I was in the Guggenheim, I know, it was the Guggenheim, and all that kind of stuff. I didn’t do all of that, “Oh amazing, yeah.” Christine goes, “Let’s go to an art gallery.” And we bought tickets to every Art Gallery in New York. So it was just another bloody Art Gallery. And by the time we got to the Guggenheim was kind of like “Oh there’s a nice hot dog stand outside. I’ll go and get a hot dog”, you know. So I can see art anywhere. And I just get an appreciation for the effort that has gone behind what is actually on the wall. And I’m not talking about, you know, it took a long time to draw, I’m talking about all the stuff we’ve spoken about for 40 minutes, that’s makes it… that gets in the way of that thing actually being on the wall. And even though those things get in the way, you’ve overcome it, the artist has pushed through. Found ways to get beyond all of the shit, you know that they have to get beyond to actually put that on the wall. Davia 51:23 6 years of resistance. 6 years of resistance saying I want to, you know, “I want to exhibit my art.” I’m kind of glad I did wait, because I was 6 years better at doing it. But you know, all that time and agony, it adds up. And to some, in some ways, it’s worth it. Because the emotion and the pictures, the result is really good. That journey is worth it. So it’s what Grant says, I think he read that somewhere in a book somewhere and I’m not remembering it 100%, but it’s “what’s in the way, is the way.” That’s right. That’s right, I wouldn’t have produced what I produced, had I not experienced what I experienced. Yeah. And the resistance. I mean, the stories like, like this woman that I’ve drawn with the “Take it easy” and on the skewers… That was me, that was an expression of me. I was feeling tortured about my own body, you know, the period stage of life that I’m going through, and the changes that my body goes through, you know, I’ve had my children and they growing up and almost adults and, you know, so all of the body not being what it once was… All the thoughts and opinions I now have about it, you know being dissected. It’s like, you know, putting it on a plate and picking it apart. Every day. It’s quite painful. Bill 53:02 Imagine how amazing it would be if you could get somebody going through what you’re going through, to just actually have the awareness that we’ve just had, which is what on that canvas now thats hanging behind you, actually, is a result of all the problems or challenges that you’re feeling right now. So that if you don’t feel those things, you’re not going to be able to produce something. And that you need to have that experience, that negative experience or whatever you associate as potentially being negative, which is actually not negative. It’s just life. You’re in it right now, this is the creative part. This is how the struggle gets put on paper. That’s how you see it. Davia 53:44 Yeah, so I don’t want to spend our whole life dwelling on stuff. On the past and what we did and everything, but acknowledging what we did, what we went through what it felt like. And what we got out of it gives us the power to choose in the future. Right. So you next time, you’re confronted by a difficult situation, and it resembles something in the past, and you get that feeling coming through your body, that tightness in your chest, or that rumble in your gut, or, you know, that squeamishness or butterflies, whatever it is, you’re either going to do things the same, or you’re going to do them different. But you have choice, you have a huge amount of choice, because you could have acknowledged what you learned last time, you know, the choice becomes wiser? Bill 54:40 Is a piece of on a wall, like you have drawn; is that an acknowledgement of all those struggles? Is that what we’re seeing? An acknowledgement? And now that you’ve become aware of it, perhaps instinctively, at the beginning, you’ve become aware of it… You’ve actually taken it out, and you’ve kind of exercised that and you put it on a piece of paper. Davia 55:01 Yeah, I think ultimately it is, but you don’t, don’t necessarily say that in the process. You know, like, when you’re in flow, and you’re drawing a good drawing, you’re just in the flow, it just feels right, and you go with whatever kind of comes through your body, whatever the emotion is, and, and your hand kind of moves. And you know, whether it’s moving in the right direction or not, you can feel it. Afterwards, you can go well, “that all make sense, doesn’t it?” Reflectively I’ve seen that before or felt that before. Because it becomes… I keep saying “part of your own signature.” So do you remember, when you first got your own bank account, right, and you went to the bank, and you had to sign your name? Bill 55:54 In the old days? Davia 55:55 Yeah. How much did you practice signing your name? You practice signing your name so many times to get it right. So that it could be consistent, right? Because if you weren’t consistent, they wouldn’t give you your money. Bill 56:09 Yes, they wouldn’t! Davia 56:10 They’d think you were forging it. You know, I’m thinking when I was a teenager, I was so desperate that I could sign my name consistently, so I could get money out so I could spend it. But that becomes your signature, you practice it and practice it, you live it, you do it over and over again, and it becomes a part of who you are. So it’s the same, the more you make your mark on a piece of paper, the more you develop your personal signature, the way that your hand moves… You can sign your name with your eyes closed, can’t you? Bill 56:45 Yeah. Davia 56:46 Yeah? And you could sign a little; really minuscule, little. You could sign it really, really big. Bill 56:54 I reckon I would struggle with really big. I could make it bigger, but not really, really big. I reckon I could but I reckon I’d struggle. Davia 57:03 Interesting, huh? Yeah. Have a play people. Have a play and see how well you know your own signature. Maybe not so well, because have you done it a lot lately? Bill 57:15 See, that’s interesting, what you said is interesting. Because that actually does bring up a couple of things where you said, can I sign it really, really big; my signature? And that I’ve been playing small. Davia 57:31 Cool. So just get a big piece of butchers paper or a whiteboard, you’ve got a whiteboard? Practice signing your signature nice and big. And just be bold and throw it out there. You know? That’s, that’s, that’s the trick. Bill 57:47 I’m near that point where I have to play big. And I’m talking global, big. Yeah, I’m talking beyond a podcast that goes on YouTube and can be seen anywhere in the world. I’m talking about proper play on a massive global scale. Massive in the way that I make it sound in my head at the moment. I’ve got to build, we spoke about it briefly yesterday, I’ve got to build some of the technology behind the scenes to facilitate that. And I’m becoming impatient. But I’ve just noticed that it’s actually not only impatience, there’s a little bit of doubt, again, this little bit of “Oh my god, that information, people are going to think that you’re mad” or whatever. “There’s no market for that”, you know, all that kind of stuff. So I would struggle playing really big and signing my signature really big, because my signature now is, you know, kind of doing good and okay, stuff, but let’s not do too much. Davia 58:47 Well, I’m gonna assert something here. I think you can sign your signature big. And maybe you just have to do something like you know *seal noises*. You know, be the seal, performing seal. Just throw it out there. Maybe close your eyes or do it with your other hand? I don’t know. Just something that interrupts it long enough for you to be… take that courageous step. Bill 59:16 Yeah. Thanks so much. Davia 59:18 Just look, have a laugh at yourself. But have a laugh at yourself and look back at what you already know. You know, like, you know how to sign your signature. You know how to sign it really small. You know how to do it medium, and probably do it like this. So really, what’s the step? Bill 59:39 That’s awesome. What you’re saying, I really appreciate it. And I’m glad we had that conversation. Because it’s… I never expected that a signature would bring those things up in me; just a larger signature. It’s interesting, I don’t see it as the signature, the way you’ve described it, to me has gone beyond just writing on a piece of paper… It’s the identity. Davia 59:59 Yeah it’s your identity, yeah. It’s who you know yourself to be. Yeah, it’s like, What does Bill Gasiamis stand for? Who is he as a person? And what knowledge does he have, that is worth sharing? You know, if it’s worth sharing on a small scale, why is it not worth sharing on a big scale? There’s enough people there in the world who want what you’ve got. Bill 1:00:24 Yeah, that’s true. Yeah, there’s no difference really to sharing it, it’s just… I’m not sure. It’s just, I can’t really explain that, why we wouldn’t have time for me to go into. And this is not a coaching session, but thank you. But what’s interesting is that I’ve found myself more than ever before, surrounding myself with amazing people that have done it before that are doing the same thing. So like how do artists… Is there somewhere where artists can go and do that? Get together and kind of experience ways the other people have overcome blocks, or I imagine there would be little groups that people can find all over the place that would support you know… Davia 1:01:09 Yeah, there are and certainly around the, you know, for the budding artists, the universities and colleges and things like that have support networks, big peer support networks. I’m not a large player in the art world. I’m a little introvert who hangs out in her own studio and does her own little things and struggles for 6 years to have a show. But, and my real passion is in the coaching. So what I do know is that coaching is one of the ways to get yourself moving and really getting over whatever the blocks are. If you can get some coaching and some mBraining coaching, that helps you align your courageous self with your passionate self, and you’re creative self, then, you know, that’s a huge step. That’s the way I’d go. Coaching was the thing that got me to go and book the date to have my exhibition. And then coaching again, was the thing that helped me take apart all the steps I needed to take to actually bring it together to make it work. Faultlessly work, you know, I think we had some catering issues. In the scheme of things. It was brilliant. Bill 1:02:36 Awesome Davia. I think that’s going to be a beautiful way to end the episode. People want to get in touch with you, where can they find you? Davia 1:02:44 Ah… lifedesignlab.com.au. That’s my business. Bill 1:02:52 Excellent. And I’ll pop the links in the show notes as well. I really appreciate having the opportunity to chat with you. I really appreciate having the opportunity to be coached by you and to have my family have you in our place and help us get through some of the difficult stuff that we get through. You know, we had to get through. Davia 1:03:18 But pleasures mine, totally. Bill 1:03:19 Thank you so much. We’re was so better for it. And I just wish you well and I look forward to keeping in touch having these amazing chats because we’ve had a few of these that haven’t been recorded. And just thank you. Davia 1:03:37 Yeah, it’s absolutely my pleasure. It’s an enormous pleasure knowing you and watching your family grow. It’s great. Really thanks for the opportunity. Intro 1:03:49 The presenters and special guests of this podcast intend to provide accurate and helpful information to their listeners. These podcasts cannot take into consideration individual circumstances and not intended to be a substitute for independent medical advice from a qualified health professional. You should always seek the advice from a qualified health professional before acting on any of the information.         The post Coaching Creativity with Davia McMillan #23 appeared first on The mBraining Show.

How to overcome eating disorders. Overcoming eating disorders is not usually a straight forward process. Published in 1991 Inner Eating by Shirley Billigmeier has never been more relevant than it is today. For over 40 years, this author, speaker and body image specialist has been helping women, men, teens and children resolve their issues with food and eating. Based on her professional and personal experience and her nationally best selling book, Inner Eating, she created Innergetics as a tool for developing and maintaining a healthy relationship between food and your body. Overcoming eating disorders – interview. Much more than a theory, Shirley Billigmeier addresses head-on the problems and challenges we face each day and gives us an insight into what may be behind eating disorders. Her real-life techniques make it easy to start and produce fast results. In our chat we discuss many ideas about where eating disorders may stem from and the role that our head, heart and gut brains play in helping to unravel eating disorders. Shirley is definitely an expert in her field and has had great success assisting people over many years to get better after experiencing. In this interview we go deep in exploring her method and quickly realise that both Shirley an I have similar ideas about supporting people even though we started from completely different backgrounds. Listen to this interview an learn about The emotional, physical and social reasons you diet. Why diets must fail. How to identify, understand and cope with your eating pattern. How to deal with interference eating. How to enjoy and not want to eat more than your body needs. How to understand the connections between body image, emotions, thoughts, and eating. How to change compulsive eating to ownership eating and win the battle of stomach vs. brain. How to recapture the joy of eating and movement. How to pick up the PACE.Check out other episodes of this podcast at www.thembrainingshow.com visit http://www.innergetics.com Music for intro by bensound.com For more interviews go to www.thembrainingshow.com The post Overcoming eating disorders with Shirley Billigmeier #22 appeared first on The mBraining Show.

mBraining Interview with Grant Soosalu In this latest mBraining Show interview I check in with Grant Soosalu. After almost a year since our last interview we talk about what he has been busy doing, where mBraining is going and what is new in the master coach certification and a lot more. To learn more about mBraining visit www.mbraining.com to purchase a copy of the book go to www.revealsolutions.com.au for more episodes go www.thembrainingshow.com About Grant Soosalu He has advanced degrees and certifications in Psychology, Positive Psychology, Applied Physics and Systems Development. He is a qualified Total Quality Management (TQM) Trainer, and has achieved Master Practitioner Certification in the behavioral sciences of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Advanced Behavioral Modeling. Grant has also been awarded a Graduate Coaching Diploma in the newly emerging field of Authentic Happiness Coaching. From a personal perspective, Grant is a passionate learner who loves to share knowledge and life skills… and wants to make a generative difference in the world and add value to people’s lives across the planet. He is always exploring, researching and developing new methodologies for human excellence. And most importantly He is always interested in Life Enhancing! Bill Gasiamis is an mBIT Trainer and Master Coach and first discovered mBraining around 6 months after 2 brain haemorrhages in 2012. What he learned during the four day coach certification and then during the Trainers training gave Bill a unique insight as where recovery from his Brain condition could begin and it’s not from where you might expected. mBraining is amongst other things is great to have in your tool box when healing the body after a serious health scare. If you are thinking about becoming an mBIT Coach, do not hesitate. Watch the interview below and thanks for tuning into mBIT Radio. To learn more about Bill go to www.billgasiamis.com The post with Grant Soosalu Co-Author of mBraining #21 appeared first on The mBraining Show.

Kwame Christian Esq., M.A. is a business lawyer and the founder of the American Negotiation Institute. He is passionate about teaching entrepreneurs and business professionals the art of negotiation so they can get better deals and advance their careers. He is regularly invited to give negotiation seminars and consults with individuals and companies to create and implement powerful negotiation strategies. He also hosts a podcast called Negotiation for Entrepreneurs where he interviews successful entrepreneurs and shares powerful persuasion techniques. americannegotiationinstitute.com/prep americannegotiationinstitute.com/partnership    

Post Natal Depression effects 1 in 7 women and 1 in 10 men. According to the website panda.org.au Postnatal depression and anxiety (PNDA) can be devastating and debilitating illnesses that can persist and affect not just a new mother but everyone around her. It is not a modern condition. Each generation calls it something different. What we call PostNatal Depression and Anxiety today may have been called a ‘nervous breakdown’ fifty years ago. Post Natal Depression and Anxiety can be mild, moderate or severe and symptoms can begin suddenly after birth or appear gradually in the weeks or months during the first year after birth. Post Natal Depression and Anxiety occurs in all cultures and can happen to child-bearing women of all ages. Pregnancy is the common factor. It can happen after miscarriage or stillbirth, normal or traumatic delivery, or caesarean delivery. Post Natal Depression and Anxiety happens not only after a first baby. It can occur after a third or fifth baby. Sometimes it happens after a first baby only. Sometimes it happens with a third baby, but not with the first two. Sometimes it happens after each pregnancy. An American expat in Australia, Dawn struggled to smoosh motherhood into her already complex identity but that didn’t stop her looking for bliss (and kangaroos) even without a map. This particular road lead to a dormant love for acrylic paint which ultimately helped Dawn heal from post natal depression. Dawn lives with her farm-raised Aussie husband and half-American baby girl. Aside from raising a human and doing laundry, she’s always creating. Creating sentences, recipes, artwork, lists, goals, designs, DIY projects, anything to keep the muses at home and the smiles plentiful. https://www.roospotting.com Watch Dawns Commercial Here Watch Bills Commercial Here.

Hugh Hayward is a student on Chinese Medicine and an experienced practitioner for more than a decade now. He completed his studies at the Australia college of natural medicine and has since been working closely with a number of mentors in different modalities in particular Chinese medicine, remedial massage and herbal medicine. He has practiced in clinics that specialise in addiction rehabilitation, fertility and treating muscular skeletal injury and has recently established his own practice with his partner Emily in the Melbourne suburb of Preston. Hugh’s focus has always been digestive health and he has achieved great results for his clients with Abdominal gut massage Chi Nei Tsang. To find out more about Hugh visit his website here. http://www.cosmnaturalhealth.com Follow Cosm Natural Health on Facebook. Cosm Natural Health

Cheryl has lived and learned life’s lessons through horses. She feels that horses are amazing teachers and great co-facilitators of human growth and development, as they provide instant feedback into how you are living your life – who you are being and how you show up in the world – the only thing we need to do is listen. Discovering Tai Chi 30 yrs ago, led to Cheryl’s growing explorations in the energetic and emotional connections between horses and humans and the links and concepts of the 3 tan tiens, breath and energy, to connect with the mind, body and spirit of horse, opening up a whole new way of practicing horsemanship, that she subsequently discovered, could be applied to learning, personal growth and authentic leadership. With a BA in Recreation Leadership and Outdoor Education, she is passionate about nature based interactions and has been involved in the field of experiential growth and learning, having been a facilitator of human potential, for most of her life, along with tutoring in this at the University of Hong Kong. The rise in neuroscience research over more recent years provided additional insights, and with it, increasing explorations in how human emotions and the functioning of the nervous system affected horse/human connections. Formal training in the field of Equine Facilitated Learning beginning 10 yrs ago, led her to officially combine her love of horses and human development. Cheryl is trained in a number of coaching and facilitation models in this field, and with a passion for integrating body, mind and spirit, conducts personal and professional development and embodied presence and leadership programs, both in house and in the field in partnership with Horse. With her discovery of mBIT just over 3 years ago, Cheryl embraced the science behind the practice, and with its strong alignment to her work, became an mBIT Coach and Coach Trainer. She also is a co-founder at The Centre for Equine Experiential Learning which provides facilitation and coach training for those wishing to embark on a career of partnering horses and humans. She conducts Head, Heart, Hara and Horses programs, – with her practice and programs going beyond traditional head based learning and explicit knowing of concepts, to embrace Somatics as a change theory, by which people can embody transformation, both individually and collectively. The power of embodied transformation being the foundational change that shows in our actions, our ways of being and doing, relating, and perceiving. She conducts programs for Cultivating Self-Generative Leaders Through Embodied Presence and somatic awareness, and works with managers, leaders, coaches, educators and therapists to be more effective and embodied leaders and professionals, who have increased capacity and resilience for supporting themselves and their clients. She feels that whether leading your own life, leading others, or leading a horse, requires the ability to be fully embodied, present, aware, clear, consistent and congruent and her programs are courses of study that move participants through and from the explicit facts and knowledge, to the embodiment of skills and implicit knowing, which are ultimately the practices that create the balance between being and doing. In the words of Dr. Thomas Hanna, “If you can sense it, you can feel it. And if you can feel it, you can change it.” Cheryl Cruttenden 0419004222 Facilitation & Program Development Windhorse Wisdom – Coaching & Training http://windhorsewisdom.com.au Where Neuroscience & Ancient Herd Wisdom Meet http://mBrainingWithHorses.com Centre for Equine Experiential Learning – Australia http://centreforeel.com

Christel Land an mBIT Coach and Trainer and was born to an American father and a Danish mother, who were in to health foods (macrobiotics) and grew up around the health center that they ran for many years. The international flavour of her upbringing has given her the gift of being fluent in 4 languages (Swedish, Danish, English, German), and she has since learnt an additional two languages (French, Mandarin Chinese). When it was time to choose her field of study, Christel wanted to make a difference in the world and in some way concluded studying international politics was the best route to go During her studies, Christel started working in a European based company and quickly ended up in the management of the company and later completed an MBA from the University of Leicester. In 2008 while living in the UK, Christel met her husband, and joined ActionCoach, the world’s biggest business coaching organisation. Learning business coaching through them taught her a lot of the hands-on, practical tools that are useful for smaller businesses, especially in the area of marketing. Christel is a mother of 2 boys, Kian who is 5 and Felix who is 2. Kian has an autism spectrum diagnosis. About a year ago, a friend of mine in the UK told me about mBraining and I instantly bought the book. After reading it I immediately signed up to become a coach and a trainer. In the beginning of May I will be running the first ever Coach Certification in Danish here in Copenhagen, and in Sweden I will be running the first ever Coach Certification in Sweden in Stockholm in the beginning of June. The past 15 years of her professional life have centred around leadership, change management and entrepreneurship. Since 2015 Christel has been running her consulting company, One Degree Consulting, where she coaches and consults small to medium sized businesses across Europe. Christel loves to cook as a creative outlet, as well as yoga, travelling and exploring new cultures and places. Today’s chat with Christel is amongst other things about how mBIT gave her unique insights into her sons Autism. www.mbraining.dk www.mbraining.se

David is the founder of The Lime Green Solutions. His mission, to be delivered through his website www.calmercoaching.com is to empower people to achieve their full potential through “calm and graceful wisdom”. He previously worked internationally in organisations seeking to improve outcomes for their communities. Roles including leading training projects in Bulgaria, Estonia, Denmark and Russia. David headed up a training team based within the UK’s National Audit Office which subsequently led to a secondment at the Victorian Auditor-General’s Office followed by a life-changing decision to move half way across the globe to connect with a sunnier way of life. During his initial years in Australia he began to realise something was not quite right with his brain. Having experienced a series of depressive episodes in the past, he then experienced his first psychotic episode lasting some six months. Practically fully recovered now, he has written his memoir ‘WTF! Life is Not Always What it Seems’ as a way of sharing his insight into what life is about and how we need to take control even when we are not in control. As part of his recovery David has built up a substantial toolkit of knowledge into human behaviour and is now entering a new chapter of his life. He is sharing his insights through www.calmercoaching.com – for a better life! He believes wholeheartedly that we are all capable of being awesome. Through his toolkit, accredited as an NLP Master Practitioner, an mbraining coach and a DISC Advanced behavioural profiler, he is able to enlighten, empower and energise people to realise their awesomeness.

Paul is a life coach who just turned 80 himself. So he has learned first hand that most of us have a good 10 years of mobility and social interaction in our 70s. But when we hit our 80s, physical challenges begin to weigh heavily on our psychological ability to resist the stereotype that aging is a period of decline. He is passionate about sharing what works for him to resist these stereotypes. He calls his seminars and coaching Amazing80. His blog is www.amazing80.com. He uses recent neurological research, music, and group interaction to help his clients learn new ways to craft their own recipe for creating an amazing life. But because many people in this age group are on fixed and low incomes, they can’t always afford even the low cost of his seminars and coaching. So he is looking for people who might consider helping him create a scholarship fund to help his prospects and clients take their life experience and transform it into a decade of growth, service, and joy. If you have an affinity for people in their 80s and beyond, here’s something you can do. Go to www.gofundme.com/amazing80, and make an investment in your own and others’s amazing future.

Mal Winnie would best be described as an Adventreprenuer, in that he combines his love of the outdoor adventure with his passion for business and professional development. Mal has spent half his adult adventuring around the world both professionally and personally. He has rock-climbed, canyoneered, mountaineered, kayaked and hiked through NZ, Australia, Asia, Europe and the USA and continues to do so. He has been in some of the most remote and wilderness environments in the world and it is in these places that he says he has learnt the most about himself. Mal has overcome some considerable physical and mental setbacks along the way and has used these to further inspire him and to work on and develop his own levels of resiliency including breaking his back twice and his neck once. In total he has broken his spine in 5 different places. Mal is also the founder and managing director of Stand-Out Leadership Ltd, a leadership development business that works with individuals and organisations across NZ and Australia to help grow their leadership capability and employee engagement levels. He also works one on one as a leadership and transformational coach. Mal is highly regarded by his clients as being insightful, inspiring and practical in his approach and style. He has undertaken tertiary and non-tertiary based studies in multiple areas such as Psychology, Sport and Recreation, Positive Psychology, Neuro-Science, NLP and Coaching and includes these aspects of science and research in the development of practical applications people can use to enhance their lives and careers. He is an mBIT Coach and Trainer as well as an NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer. Mal has worked in people development for 23 years now in many different industries and sectors and has worked across New Zealand, Australia, Europe and the United Kingdom with in excess of 20,000 people. For more visit http://www.stand-out.co.nz

Lyn Christian is a quintessential coach’s coach, teaching revolutionary principles that galvanize change in others, while living according to those same principles in her own life. As the founder of SoulSalt, Inc., Lyn guides private clients, organizations, and fellow coaches as they seek to reinvent themselves and reach peak performance levels. Her approach is focused on encouraging others to find their strengths and build lives that are grounded in courage, freedom, and integrity. Lyn has always been adept at helping others reach their fullest potential. She began her career as a school teacher in the 1990s, and her innovative approach to education garnered awards and recognition from her peers. But, while she found her work as an educator rewarding, Lyn was inescapably drawn to the innovation and entrepreneurial mindset of the business world. In 1998, she left academia for a position at Franklin Covey, where she was instrumental in developing world-class training products. During her tenure at Franklin Covey, Lyn honed her coaching and project management skills. She was ultimately appointed Associate Director of the Franklin Covey Project Management Innovation Center, where she trained hundreds of employees and helped the company accrue $4 million in value in less than one year. Over time, Lyn grew into a thought leader in business and personal coaching, earning a Master Coach Certification from the International Coach Federation, as well as certifications from both Franklin Covey Coaching and renowned Executive Coach Marshall Goldsmith. Within a few years of graduating from Coach U in 1998, Lyn came to a crossroads in her career. She had become Director of Innovation at Franklin Covey Coaching, and she established SoulSalt as a separate entity in 2002. Lyn’s coaching philosophy and private practice grew steadily, with SoulSalt drawing more and more of her focus. In 2004 her mentor, Marshall Goldsmith, challenged her to leave her position at Franklin Covey and set out on her own. In the years since, Lyn has become sought-after adviser to a diverse clientele representing a variety of industries, from small business owners, to CEOs, to celebrities, and anyone who comes to her with a serious drive to embrace wisdom and personal evolution. Beyond her extensive work with SoulSalt, Lyn strives continually learn and embrace reinvention in her own life. In recent years, that commitment has been evident in her effort to face a childhood fear of drowning by entering competitive sports after the age of 50. When not spending time with her inspiring clients and family, Lyn competes in Sprint Triathlons and multi-sport endurance races, no doubt contributing to her reputation as a “bad ass,” and bolstering her ability to bring out the bad ass in others, too. facebook.com/lyn.christian1 twitter.com/Lyn_Christian instagram.com/lynchristian/ SoulSalt facebook.com/soulsaltinc twitter.com/SoulSaltInc instagram.com/soulsaltinc/ youtube.com/soulsaltcoaching www.SoulSalt.com

Pat Armitstead is no stranger to grief and loss. Her unique personal perspectives, traumatic past, repeated losses and eventual mastery as a Multi Award Winning Speaker and Exhibiting Artist are a rare combination of talents. She is a modern day Renaissance woman who has devoted her life to helping others to transform their lives. She is a best selling author of two books, and co-author of another six including the recent Amazon Best Seller ” Common Threads”. She has also produced ten documentaries and anchored her own Multi Award Winning radio show . Pat provides a spiritual and creative perspective in the challenging areas of life including facing our own mortality, grief, loss and trauma. A highly accomplished artist, her art is not only full of visual metaphors, it is a reflection of her encounters with humanity . ?A master storyteller she combines myths, legends and fairytales with real human experiences to bring understanding and meaning to life events. Pat sees crisis as a catalyst for personal growth and transformation, enabling high levels of intimate communication and authentic expression. She has been a regular guest on Radio and TV for 15 years and received many awards including NZ Speaker of the Year, the highest accolade bestowed on Speaking professionals with NSANZ. A Registered Nurse for 16 years, she went on to found her own production company and now combines her compassion and creativity to shift human consciousness. ?Her mentor for many years, Mike Hutcheson, ( ex MD of Auckland Saatchi and Saatchi ) said :- ” Pat Armitstead is one the most emotionally intelligent people I know!” ?She has toured internationally with Patch Adams and shared the platform live and online with world class speakers such as Jack Canfield, Dr John Demartini, Ed Tate, Annette King, Catherine Palin Brinkworth, George Manolis, Wayne Berry, Keith Abraham and Wayne Mansfield from Australia, Linda Miles, Lavonn Steiner from the USA and addressed Australias First International Humour and Wellness conference at Armidale University. Find out more about Pat at http://www.joyology.co.nz

Known as the ‘Kiwi Health Detective’, Kim Knight is a health and personal transformation coach specializing in helping people identify – and resolve – the absolute root cause of seemingly inexplicable symptoms of chronic pain or fatigue. Unable to work for over 10 years, her own recovery from chronic fatigue syndrome, ongoing back pain, anxiety and clinical depression led her to try over 160 different therapies on her journey back to health. By teaching people how to tap into their body wisdom, and understand the built-in self-healing abilities of the body, she shows clients how it is possible to regain health without medication or supplements. Her three special areas of interest are stress eradication, emotional mastery and self-empowerment. Her professional training and client experience is extensive, which combined with her first-hand experience of having to get herself well, gives her the ideal offering for clients. She is trained in a number of cutting-edge mind-body therapies including Mickel Therapy, Moativational Medicine, The Emotion Code, mBIT Multiple Brain Integration, Advanced Clearing Energetics and Qigong, and works mostly with clients remotely via phone, online webinars and online self-help programs Her work has earned her several health award nominations, including finalist for NEXT New Zealand Woman of the Year. For more info visit www.artofhealth.co.nz

Reb Veale is an mBIT Coach and Trainer and also an NLP Trainer. She uses her background in people management in the retail and energy commercial sectors and occupational psychology to provide support to both private and public sector leaders and organizations, through consultancy, coaching and training. Reb is passionate about facilitating people to find their own unique solutions and proudly states that she always learns at least as much as her coachees or participants. Reb set up Reveal Solutions in 2005 and in addition to training and coaching; has co-authored a range of development products with Mark Deacon, such as the GROW Coaching cards, Developing Emotional Intelligence and Successful Appraisal products. They were also collaborated with Grant Soosalu to produce the mBraining Flash Learning and mBIT Coaching cards. Reb believes that leadership is everyone’s responsibility; regardless of job role or title…it starts with how we are choosing to lead our life. www.revealsolutions.co.uk

Mark is a Certified NLP Master Trainer (INLPTA), Certified mBIT Coach Trainer, Group Facilitator and Business Consultant to some of New Zealand’s largest companies, including, Air New Zealand, ASB Bank, Fletchers,Vodafone and Fonterra. He is also a Life Member of the XL Results Foundation. You will want to see Mark and hear about the powerful mind-shifts that can bring you breakthroughs in your personal and business relationships. Mark’s background in human development, change, finance, and business growth, have given him a dynamic understanding of the “X factors” needed for business and personal success. As a Trainer, Facilitator and Consultant, Mark is amazing. Qualified in several areas of human development and personal change, he utilises and teaches skills in NLP, Business Leadership, Executive Development and Performance Coaching. Now based in CPL’s Auckland office, Mark is also qualified in “Spiral Dynamics” – the map of insights for understanding values and change in people and organisations. You can find out more about Mark and the courses he offers at www.commplus.co.nz

Nikki has been a professional health ally for 15 years; involving Integrative Therapeutic Massage, Remedial Massage, Myotherapy, Reiki, Touch for Health Kineasiology and life coaching using mBIT (multiple Brain Integration Techniques) as well as practising mBIT Massage. She has a passion for seeing her clients reach wellness beyond removing the pain their experiencing, assisting them to truly own their process through the massage itself. As well as running her busy home clinic in Greensborough, Nikki is the co-Founder of the mBIT Massage Certification program, and she passionately facilitates workshops and trainings based on the field of both mBIT and mBIT Massage. Find out more at www.evolvemyotherapy.com.au  

Taking care of business with mBraining and consumer Neuroscience is what we are doing in this episode of the mBraining Show where instead of being a host, today I am being interviewed as a guest on RPP FM in Mornington Victoria, Australia with Host Jacki Mitchel from http://www.brandstorm.com.au/ During the interview I share the microphone with Associate Professor – Dr Joseph Ciorciari Director, Brain and Psychological Sciences Research Centre  http://www.swinburne.edu.au/health-arts-design/staff-profiles/view.php?who=jciorciari