The Nerd Report Podcast

Karl Gerber, Workplace Lawyer thinks he has a three time Super Bowl player on his show. The guest has an alleged head injury and it goes down hill from there. The guest believes his brain can be congealed through a minotaur head piece sold as if it was 75 pounds of pure silver. It turns out Myron Alfombra pronouced Matting and spelled M’N’M sold him the head piece which just happens to cover a coral reef model of the ever growing berber toupee that is actually nylon. FYI the coral reef model is orange, bright pink, and white. JO selected a cute little o and pencil loop model. There is mass confusion on the show and many different accents and voices. It turns out JO never played for the Dallas Cowboys. Instead he was a big time grape ball player which is a sport in which grapes are pitched at 180 miles an hour at the player’s finger. This sport was first covered on Episode 29 of the Karl Gerber, Workplace Lawyer Show. If this was not enough, it turns out the regulation player’s helmet for JO’s team is a derby green felt hat bought at Party City around St. Patrick’s Day.

Allegedly neutral workplace investigator, Molly Machete (last appeared on Episode 17) wants Karl Gerber, Workplace lawyer to help her bust a slave labor organization. Gerber agrees to help Machete if she will help him bring down Myron Alfombra pronounced Matting and spelled M’n’M. The slave labor organization turns out to be Sunshine’s, “Family.”

A syndicated talk show host appears, but Gerber thought the radio talk show personality, Dr. Zhivago was a man. Apparently only the graveyard Dr. Zhivago in the Midwest is a man. Because Dr. Zhivago will not commit the talk radio death knell of pre-recording. Dr. Zhivago is played by different people in different areas of the country, and even at different hours of the day. Dr. Zhivago explains her real name is Zyganhaus, but people started calling her Zhivago by mistake. It also appears the world is mistaken that she is an actual doctor. She does not look a day over under 40, but she claims the tutoring services of Gerber’s brother in 1987 enabled her to obtain a C in Chemistry the third time she took it. This admits this was reflective of her future medical career. Gerber realizes her professional license is notary public when he asks to see her professional license. She, however, claims she is a doctor of divinity. Gerber decides he wants to restrain her shows which mainly consist of selling pills of interesting colors. Dr. Zhivago claims she is from Orange County, but she sounds like Edith Bunker. It is also disclosed that Queens Carpets is one of Dr. Zhivago’s 11 sponsors on her average show. Nothing makes sense. Has another impostor been sent Gerber’s way?

Brendon Goose appears on the Karl Gerber, Workplace Lawyer Show 1-13-19 broadcast on KABC AM 790. Brendon Goose claims he was fired from his job because he had West Nile Virus he picked up while camping at the Salton Sea on a fishing trip in which all of his catches were dead. Although he called who he thought was his employer within minutes after waking up for a coma he was first accused of being a no-call-no show. A third-party claims administrator administrated his Family Medical Leave but they put a question mark by the name of his employer. Despite calling Jimbo who explained why the pallet manufacturer puts tiny zippers in the pallets Wot aka Brendon Goose installed at work, Jimbo wasn’t privacy to the name of the employer. Gerber resolves to sue the employer and find out who wrongfully terminated Brendon Goose.

A guest who was supposed to be Polish turns out to talk like a Jamaican. She describes the strike and shutdown of the pallet operation that puts Kopi Luwak coffee beans in tiny zippers embedded in .10 of an inch thick pallets. P a J Butt Crack, III turns out to be person who makes the insertions between shifts. When he found out Brendon Goose was fired when he called in 34 minutes late because he work up from a coma and had West Nile Virus P a J Butt Crack, III stops coming to work. The second guest, Sunshine exists at a Yogi collective run by her, “Family.” She seems stuck in the 1960s or early 1970s believing Hate Man, Father Yod, and The Source are in the now. It is determined she took the same potion the stewardesses on Retro Air took to never age. Gerber refers her to Rhemus Helms’ cosplay ostrich ranch.

Karl Gerber has a conversation with one of the employment lawyers he works with. The lawyer wants Gerber to ask him certain questions which Gerber does. A few interesting facts such as whether strippers are entitled to service fees are divulged. New employment laws for 2019 are covered. The new statute for sexual assault is discussed. Gerber vows to return to funny scripted comedy after the 1st of the year, but apologies for not being able to have a comedy sketch the penultimate day of the year.

Karl Gerber, Workplace Lawyer goes to New York to find Myron Alfombra pronounced Matting. Alfombra aka Matting send an impostor on Episode 35 & Egdon Webis randomly appeared when Matting was improperly served a subpoena by Dombass. There is an improper re-enactment of the French Connection and Bullit car chases.

Myron Alfombra pronounced Matting has been subpoenaed to the show by Dombass, the inept lawyer, who doesn’t realize subpoenas are for legal cases. Egdon Webis wonders in looking for an egg while his dog is socializing across the street. He also hopes to meet Dr. Zhivago who hosts a talk show about useless vitamins but not on KABC.

Karl Gerber, Workplace Lawyer decides to take live call ins. The first caller turns out to the Rosa Santos Rosenstein. She is not looking forward to a retrial after the mistrial when Rhemus Helms tried to joust Molly Machete to see who would be the jury foreperson. The second caller is a Southern Belle who apparently dated Pumpkin Head (at least once during a hoot at Rhemus Helms’ Ranch). The third caller is Dombass. He got a free ever growing berber toupe from Queens Carpet for looking into the lawsuit Angie (the angry one from Episode 31) wants to bring for genetic discrimination on account of her being predisposed to niceness. The whole live caller scenario didn’t quite work out like Gerber hoped.

Myron Alfombra of Queens Carpets (they make ever growing berber rugs for townhouses and toupees out of the same material) is supposed to appear in order to answer certain questions. Instead, an imposture comes. The professional imposture tells stories about his famous gigs including a Vanishing Point tale about driving of a truck that ended up containing product from Rhemus Helms. There is also much talk about 1970 Dodge Challengers, employee stock options, truant officer Fred Lines’ sting operation at a hot yoga studio, and other related and on-point matters.

Rhemus Helms helps Karl Gerber celebrate his 25th year anniversary as an employee lawyer. It is discovered that on the same day Gerber was sworn in as a California lawyer an unauthorized mold of Rhemus Helms’ genital was taken at a New York party at the Hotel Delmonico by a man with a bad Chucky hairdo. This man was hard up for cash because two of his casinos had just gone bankrupt. Adult novelty toy company Adin & Elvira paid the man $5,000,000 for the mold. The rest is history. Gerber attempts to discuss changes in employment law since 1993, but Rhemus Helms’ antics tend to dominate the conversation. 3 minutes to 11 minutes is the most bizarre comedy sketch ever. You must listen to it and share it with anybody opposed to our current administration and/or persons interested in comedy, urban myths, far out stuff, and anything remotely cool. Broadcast Live on KABC AM790, Los Angeles Commercial Radio 11-25-18

Comedy radio in which it is determined having access to Chap Shtick’s database that tracks each sanitary napkin is what now makes a nation a first world country. The soldier is fired from his job for gong on this particular mission. He was also disciplined for helping fight California wild fires while serving, and deterring California Poppy smugglers who come to the California Poppy Festival in Lancaster. The soldier is unique and amusing. Aired live 11-11-18 on KABC 790 AM. Karl Gerber, Workplace Lawyer Show KABC 790 AM

Judge Beezu batted grapes with her shaky finger before her courtroom was destroyed when Rhemus Helms and Molly Machete rode their horses into the jury room in order to joust for the role of foreperson in the Santos Rosenstein v. Glickman controlled standby lawsuit Dombass ineptly defended, but the Plaintiff’s lawyer had an exhibit that was umm, hmm, ah. The 14th Amendment with due process and equal protection is dear to both Gerber and Judge Beezu, but it remains unclear whether Gerber redirected Judge Beezu in life without a courtroom. Comedy Radio on the Karl Gerber, Workplace Lawyer Show. Episode 29 Aired 11-4-18 KABC 790AM

Karl Gerber, Workplace lawyers gets Star Light into Rhemus Helms’ Day 3 of 6 Halloween Party. She is dressed like Star Bright. They find Hinita Orchid Helms in an underground phallic shaped bunker lying in a state of boredom. Star Light attempts to resurrect her with a Ouija Board while singing the Time Warp. This causes Gerber and Star Light to land on the 1939 Pine Needle Ski Slope in Universal City. They proceed to rescue a gay man who was fired due to his sexual orientation and physically ejected from a bar he worked at along Highway 101 (Ventura Boulevard). Star Light gets a job as a B-Drinker in a joint on Bunker Hill where she has to climb 100 stairs to enter. She is sexually harassed and they decide to leave 1939. Gerber expects his logic skills will bring them to back to his home in 2018, but Star Light makes him lose his concentration and focus on his costume suit from 1950 he wore to Rhemus Helms’ party. They land in 1950 where Gerber helps a noir mystery writer ghost write by leaving radio and film scripts. Star Light gets a job at Charley Foy’s Supper Club in Sherman Oaks. They attempt to leave 1950, but end up in 1959. In 1959 Gerber assists with the Petermann appeal which establishes the fore bearings for wrongful termination in California. The show ends with Hinita Orchid Helms resurrected due to the story. Star Light was played by Cindy D. who recounted the escapade because Star Light immediately disappeared after resurrecting her friend who died of boredom at XIo415.

Tinita Gravita I has been accommodated at Organic Ostrich during her lengthy pregnancy which turns out to be 11 years. Apparently she lost a game of office chair wars and had to engage in activities with a Skinlit. The fixer has pulled the strings to her chair, but she was denied the accommodation of having a miniature pony pull her into the hallway where she could watch the dog races. She claims her baby used to be larger before Meche Ga Dogman’s pit bull Mean Bull ate part of her baby. Karl Gerber Workplace Lawyer Show – Comedy Radio KABC AM790

Meche Ga Dogma thinks she is fired from her job because she served on a jury. The job is at Organic Ostrich the makers of soy drums that contain 90% feather feed. Ms. Dogma brings her pit bulls to the live KABC AM 790 radio show. The dogs roam the studio, destroy a leather couch, and bark throughout the show. It is determined that Organic Ostrich was shut down due to the employees bringing in their dogs. The fixer took bets on jale jale races and dog fights. The jury trial Ms. Dogma attended turns out to be the Rosa Santos Rosenstein v. Lisa Glickman trial for Rosa not receiving controlled standby. A mistrial is declared when Rhemus Helms and Molly Machete ride horses into the jury room where they plan to joist in order to determine who the foreperson of the jury will be. This is modern radio comedy at its best.

Comedy Radio heard live on KABC AM790 October 7, 2018. An Inland Empire woman is fired from her job for leaving work to vote in the uptenth runoff election for the Assistant Dope Waxer in Hell Hole Palms. Many, “Big” issues are discussed including who might be the emperor of the Inland Empire, the beach community at Moreno Beach, and the largest warehouse in Fontana which happens to be the Rhemus Helms Worldwide Distribution Center.

A near 80 year old truant officer is not hired at an unorthodox school (The University) for geniuses. The school never takes applications, and prefers to recruit the living and dead if they are sufficiently odd. Officer Lines’ career highlight was providing immunity to Gerber’s younger brother (Lemur, Jr.) in exchange for information on truants and pedophiles the Lemur Brothers had intelligence on because they ran the online portal to the internet when it was a dial-up system in the early to mid-1980s at which time Brett Kaughavagan was exposing himself which led to many Trump and otherwise red jokes on this particular episode. Gerber and Lines move onto the Iranian Diaper Crisis Burning Man, incidents of alcoholism at work, and job quits due to commutes.

Skinlit appears on the Karl Gerber, Workplace Lawyer Show claiming religious discrimination from Nouvella Vague Gaming where he is a character in a VR game. He is a member of the Lemon Drops, a religious sect residing below the surface of the earth. Gerber and Skinlit ultimately do a duet of Why Can’t We Live Together juxtapositioning names of famous guests such as Rhemus and Demus Helms, Cindy D., P a J Butt Crack, III, Star Light and Star Bright. This is comedy radio with a bent on California employment law. Karl Gerber Workplace Lawyer Show KABC790

Heard on KABC AM790 9-16-18. The deponent is advised to bring a lot of cash to her deposition for parking, lunch, and pain relievers. She ponders whether she should leave for Century City after the Culver City radio show recording, or leave her home 12 miles away in North Hollywood before 4 AM to get to the 10:00 A.M. Deposition. She also questions why she hired Dombass to represent her on a mixed contingency/hourly fee. This is weekly sketch comedy that relates to California employment law and Los Angeles.