The Reverend John Wheeler Podcast

A grand American tradition turns 23 today.

There is a plot to make The State of Minnesota bigger. John Wheeler and Chris Masimore are in on it. It is in motion now, and you cannot stop it. It is for your own good.

John Wheeler and Chris Masimore do a Special Olympics coverage episode.

...Dead serious about project 2025! Ha, gotcha with an old school Simpsons reference! Seriously though, we kinda think The Heritage Foundation is actually trying to get him. Put on your Alex Jones official branded tin foil hat and join us, won't you?

I couldn't think of a better title, but my actual dad was here so it's good enough. We didn't actually sing though. More like, spoke about the blues. Towards the end. Kinda.

Rev. John Wheeler and Chris "Xhail" Masimore attempt to stay on topic long enough to explain Dead Internet Theory, and god bless them, they almost do.

You searched it. Now you're on a list.

If the Boeing whistle blower is found alive, does that mean the cost is clear and I can apply for his old job? Fly the friendly skies with John Wheeler, Chris Masimore, and Satan.

Sometimes you get Taylor Swift swag in your easter basket, and sometimes you get Jack Schitt.

Most women would rather run into a bear in the woods than a man. I think I would as well, as long as it isn't a polar bear. In that case, I'd rather run into a bunch of dudes driving a tank. I feel like my odds would be better. I was reminded that I shouldn't make light of things like this, at least not if I want everyone on the internet to agree that I'm doing my best to be a good person. Which I'm not. Humor is a tool of oppression used to invalidate the very serious concerns of women and nothing more. Wait, maybe I'm thinking of propaganda... nah. No one that spends all day online and went to college for ten years ever falls for that stuff.

John and Zachy remember the dumb old days.

OJ Simpson was the Jackie Robinson of getting away with murder, and Obama was the OJ of being elected President. John and Derek remember the good times.

Featuring Chris Masimore and Derek Zubich, this episode dives deep into the two most important news stories of 2024: That weird crappy Willy Wonka thing that happened in Scotland like a month ago, and some dude marrying a lady with two heads, right here in Minnesota!

This hour of ranting eventually ends in: AI is a tool that we will use to shoot our own legs off. Of course by "we" I mean our corporate overlords- but we as a people will allow them to do it, and turn on each other rather than them, as usual, as is always the plan. And no, screaming on Facebook about how no one should use AI image generators won't help anything either. Screaming on Facebook never helps anything. More than anything it just makes people hate you and all the barely reasonable if not outright dumb stuff that you believe is so important.

What? You going to toss a penny into a wishing well and hope the guy on your truck gets to be your new daddy? That's beta-cuck nonsense. Be a real man and go start your own country!

Is he going to start The Adult Baby Wrestling Federation? X-Hail and Reverend John think YES.

I hope not. Then I'd have to start watching football.

The main take away on this episode is that music, art, and entertainment are three different things. Art is definitely for laundering dirty crime money, and music is for fucking shit up.I'll just let you watch for yourself to see Greg's appraisal of the entertainment industry and who runs it.

Aliens have been coming to earth, and it's all because we have the best drugs. Specifically crack. I don't make the rules, but it does explain why they were in Miami.

Sidney Oxboro AKA New Sid joins us by the fire as we go over the long list of disappointing and idiotic things you've all done over the past year. Everyone is getting one of Donald Trump's used diapers for Christmas this year, and frankly that's better than a lot of you deserve.