The Sound Of Goodness

EPISODE 17 In this episode I share a technique to help you create MORE long term happiness wealth and success. We talk about the differences between Investing and Spending, and how instant gratification can hold us back from being happy and successful in the long term. I give you examples and ways to notice how this is showing up in your life, and questions to ask yourself so that you can break the cycle and start reaping the benefits! It truly has everything to do with how much we believe in ourselves and how much self worth we have. I believe in you, Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Mindset Coach Website: JeniferMerifield.com | IG: @JeniferMerifield

EPISODE 16 In this episode I share my GRUELLING hiking story with you to give an example of how we sometimes encounter major STRUGGLE that we weren’t anticipating… How we CHOOSE to deal with it makes all the difference in how we experience the journey, how we create the memories of it, and how we handle future situations. I share about the contrast between how people can handle the same situation in very different ways, and how true it is that “how we do anything is how we do everything.” My story shows the PAIN and STRUGGLE I went through and how even as a Mindset Coach, I too battled my inner demons. There were techniques I teach that I had to use myself, that both saved me from more suffering than necessary AND allowed me to SEE the beauty all around me. I pose some great questions you can ask yourself RIGHT NOW to notice your own patterns, and to see where you can make a Mindset Shift to get the most from yourself and your Life. Enjoy! I believe in you, Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Mindset Coach Website: JeniferMerifield.com | IG: @JeniferMerifield

EPISODE 15 Words make such an impact; specific words, lack of words… Today I share about the POWER of the word “BECAUSE”. The power is not just with the word itself, but what comes AFTER it… it has the power to DRASTICALLY improve relationships in beneficial ways. The examples I use it with are with: “I love you”, “thank you”, and “I’m sorry”. They aren’t the only phrases to use “BECAUSE”, but for example purposes, they’re the ones I’m using here ???? You’ll hear the difference between using it in specific responses and NOT using it. See what you notice. Where “I’m Sorry” is concerned, you’ll also hear the common replacement … BUT … and why it will do the opposite of what BECAUSE can do for you. I give you ways to use the power of BECAUSE, and I share my own personal “BECAUSE” about why I always sign off with “I believe in you” in my posts and podcasts. Enjoy! I believe in you, Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Mindset Coach Website: JeniferMerifield.com | IG: @JeniferMerifield

EPISODE 14 Today I want to talk about acceptance and mindset… this podcast is dedicated to three awesome listeners who contacted me with very similar topic requests… so a warm shout-out to Carlos, Rebecca, and Jen! Life doesn’t always go as we want it to or plan it to… sometimes the struggle seems overwhelming. Have you ever felt like the struggles are not even in your control, or they’re just happening TO YOU? How we handle OURSELVES when these things happen – is what will either keep the struggle alive, or allow it to more easily dissipate. I did a video some time ago about Acceptance and Change… and I want to elaborate on it today and also add some details that lean more towards “relationships” a bit more because they can be really challenging… You’ll hear a story about “Mad Lunch Guy” to give you an example. Then I talk about the THREE MINDSETS, and how to notice which one you’re in and then how to move UP into a more positive one. We analyze that guy a bit (because he’s so obvious) and then I give you a couple of BETTER CHOICES that are easy and quick to change perspective and get in control. You always get to choose! I believe in you, Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Coach Website: JeniferMerifield.com | IG: @JeniferMerifield    

EPISODE 13 Happy New Year 2019! The New Year is an exciting time to say good-bye to old habits and get a fresh start on new beginnings, new dreams and exciting desires. We’ve all heard the stats though, right? Actually following through on resolutions is bleak at best. Most people abandon their resolutions before the end of January. Ugh! Before you START taking action on your goals and resolutions… check out the tips in this video that are UNIQUELY about YOU, so that you can not only get the best start, but that you can PLOUGH THROUGH the challenges and obstacles when they arise. I personally wish you the BEST YEAR YET, and with love and immense gratitude I thank you for your support and following. See the VIDEO VERSION of this podcast here. I believe in you, Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Coach Website: JeniferMerifield.com | IG: @JeniferMerifield

EPISODE 12 Happy Holidays! I thought this would be a great time to talk about EXPECTATIONS around GIVING. Side note: Have you ever smelled a Blueberry Muffin candle? How about 100 of them, haha… (listen to hear my story of being such a sucker!) Here I talk about GIVING “shoulds” and “supposed-to’s”… the unspoken rules that leave us feeling stressed, disappointed, or even resentment. I share my own story of giving for the WRONG reasons, and how we can check in with ourselves to know what reasoning is going on for us. It feels good to GIVE for various reasons and we talk about what they are and how to know which ones are happening for you. Happy Holidays! I believe in you, Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Coach Website: JeniferMerifield.com | IG: @JeniferMerifield

EPISODE 11 Have you ever WONDERED what it’s like to have your own Coach? …someone who’s whole purpose in your relationship is for YOUR personal growth benefit? Have you wondered what kind of results are POSSIBLE? Last week, I did an interview with one of my clients SPECIFICALLY for this reason. For you! Bottom line is, we wanted to share that an EXTRAORDINARY LIFE is absolutely possible for you, and for anyone. Just over a year ago, Joan didn’t fully believe that for herself and she was feeling very stuck and overwhelmed. It’s not always easy to be VULNERABLE and TRANSPARENT – as we all know – yet Joan has done exactly that for all of you in this interview. Before I hit record we shared our intentions for the interview, and she told me, “If I can help even ONE person feel hope or motivation knowing that if I can do it so can they, then any past pain or challenge has been worth it.” It’s such an honour to share this interview with you today. Oh, and you know those disclaimers that read: “Results not typical”? Well, that’s NOT the case here… if you commit to the process, these results ARE TYPICAL. In fact, one of the things few coaches will be comfortable suggesting is to “EXPECT drastic results”. We’re in this together and when you have HIGH expectations you hold me accountable, while at the same time I hold you accountable to the process. I want you to have high expectations working with me. We’re working TOGETHER and I’m as committed as you are. INTERDEPENDENCE is like magic… there’s nothing we can’t do “together”. With massive heartfelt gratitude to Joan, and full belief in YOU, please enjoy a look inside the world of having your own Coach. I believe in you, Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Coach Website: JeniferMerifield.com | IG: @JeniferMerifield

EPISODE 10 In this episode we agree that everyone feels stress, doubt, worry and overwhelm to SOME capacity. Today we focus on a less-usual tactic for dealing with stress and for kicking up happiness and self esteem. I explain how we all know RAK’s – Random Acts of Kindness – and then a slant on the idea of how to use the concept to your best benefit in a new way. You’ll get examples and strategies and how to use the concept of pattern interrupting. Equipped with exactly what to do and how to do it for your most benefit, you’ll have a clear strategy for the next time you get brain fog and need clarity. Listen for the “wine gums” / homeless guy story for a laugh. No “shoulds” or supposed to’s, this is all for you. I believe in you, Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Coach Website: JeniferMerifield.com | IG: @JeniferMerifield

EPISODE 9 In this episode, we talk about communication styles, like TALKING, LISTENING and BODY LANGUAGE. You start to notice how people perceive YOU. Hear about the different ways we SHOW UP in conversations… in ways we’re not aware of, and ways we’re definitely aware of OTHER people doing. You’ll hear an example of me being super SHY and being accused of being a snob : ( And you’ll see the difference of how we can misrepresent what we’re thinking versus what we’re presenting. I share some tips on how to lead a conversation or be a great listener. We debunk the different LABELS of Talkers and Listeners so we get clear on where we’re coming from. You’re challenged to have fun with NOTICING yourself and others in certain situations, and to do something specific in the MIRROR! I believe in you, Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Coach Website: JeniferMerifield.com | IG: @JeniferMerifield

EPISODE 8 In this episode, we talk about INDULGENCE… being close to the Holidays and all ???? Don’t get me wrong… I’m not about to tell you to resist and hold back on everything, and I completely support ENJOYING the holiday pleasures. HOWEVER, if you DO indulge but then some time afterward you find yourself feeling GUILT or some SHAME bubbles up for you … then listen for how to find your freedom by ACKNOWLEDGING what you were ACTUALLY seeking. And by the way, this doesn’t ONLY apply to food, it applies to ANY kind of pleasure… I mean, the OBVIOUS ones are alcohol, caffeine, sugar, sex, shopping, drugs… but it ALSO applies to things like seeking external validation in certain ways. Hear about the connection to INSTANT GRATIFICATION and why it’ll NEVER satisfy you. I also share my over-indulging story. See if you relate to how, in front of certain people we tend to behave in ways that NEVER feel good later, but we find ourself in a cycle of always doing it. Great news! We don’t have to completely sacrifice pleasure in our lives, in fact, if we practice what I like to call CONSCIOUS INDULGENCE, then we can enjoy ALL the things without the guilt. I describe it and give examples of how you can do this in YOUR life. Personal Excellence Mastery is not about denying yourself pleasure, it’s about making the feel-good-now choices ALSO give you feel-good-later results. You’ll hear how to self-soothe in a way that feels GOOD, feels ON PURPOSE, and serves you later – not just in the moment. ‘Tis the season for yummy things and people and purchases… Now go forth and CONSCIOUSLY INDULGE! I believe in you, Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Coach Website: JeniferMerifield.com | IG: @JeniferMerifield

EPISODE 7 In this episode I share how a simple WORD SWAP can make a valuable difference in your life. We go “back to the 70’s” for a plaid polyestered story that will have you both laughing and saying, “AW :(” It’s all about how the word PROBLEM carries a charge that adds to the issues, but doesn’t have to when we SWAP it for another word. Listen in and you’ll hear what it is! I explain how as adults we throw around the word Problem fairly lightly and the impact is has on us personally, as well as with those we work with, manage, and lead. Not to mention the powerful benefits of it as PARENTS. When you hear how easy and beneficial this word swap is, you’ll start to notice how much you currently use it in your life and you’ll start hearing it all over the place. It’s the difference between stuck, harsh, and fault finding vs. solution focused and co-creation. At the end of this podcast you will no longer have ANY PROBLEMS… you will now see them as, well, the secret word. Listen in and let me know how it shows up for you! I believe in you, Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Coach Website: JeniferMerifield.com | IG: @JeniferMerifield

EPISODE 6 In this episode I share a technique that you can throw in your “mindset tool-belt” to help you be the CREATOR of your life, versus feeling like you’re living in REACTION to life happening TO you. It’s called Pre-Paving. It’s being the creator, the one CHOOSING what shows up in your life, versus being the one with the fly swatter REACTING to life with less ease or personal control. It’s all about doing something NOW that will make it easier for what you want, to come to you later. The point is, you’re consciously creating a path, you’re paving an uncluttered way, for ease and flow. It’s living ON PURPOSE, not just DEFAULT. Honestly, its not even hard if you stick with it, you just have to change a limiting habit. I explain the detrimental DOMINO EFFECT that triggers your moods, thoughts, and even your physiology (your body functions) when you don’t consciously pre-pave. I share the exact technique and give you examples of what the difference feels like. You’ll get clear on how NOT being a conscious creator will probably then show up in other parts of your days by bringing your discomfort with you. You’ll also see that you can PRE-PAVE anything! BIG SHIFTS happen when we refocus into the positive and pre-pave in our minds what we want to create a clear road for. We’re already pre-paving… but are we doing it unconsciously in a negative way? The great thing to remember is: it doesn’t take you any EXTRA time to replace what you think now to how to think this way… it just takes choice and commitment… that’s conscious creation, that’s being a creator of what you want. I’ve heard (and personally experienced) some incredible stories of what people have manifested just from using pre-paving to CONSCIOUSLY CREATE. Why not start right now? There is no limit on what’s possible for you. That I know for sure ; ) I believe in you. Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Coach Website: JeniferMerifield.com | INSTAGRAM @JeniferMerifield

EPISODE 5 In this episode I talk about how to NEVER have to argue again! (or at least be able to STOP them quickly when they start). I explain the main difference between Arguing and Disagreeing, and what it is we add to arguing that’s NOT part of simple disagreements. There are 3 categories of arguing I go over – not including abuse which we don’t get in to here… other than later on I ask you to agree we know when you or someone else needs to get help from a situation that’s become abusive. After that, we discuss a few different Anger Personalities and how they express themselves in fights. When it comes to YOU there are a couple of things to know ALL ABOUT YOU that will significantly help you get a clear picture of where you’re coming from. Once you know what they are, you’ll be able to use the THREE valuable tools in any argument – or disagreement that’s becoming an argument – to get out of it right away. I share some others great tips on how to use your language and communication clearly and succinctly to be heard and to hear the other person. Loving yourself and holding a space of genuine listening for the other person is a great start. Pretty soon, arguments can be a thing of the past in your life! I believe in you, Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Coach Website: JeniferMerifield.com | INSTAGRAM @JeniferMerifield  

EPISODE 4 Use these two words every day and watch your life change for the better in every way! In this episode you’ll learn the 2 very special words that are all of 5 letters in total that will shake up your mindset and drastically change your perspective of the world in an EXTRAORDINARY way… not in months or years, but in like, moments. I ask you some key questions to set up the description so you feel how it shows up in YOUR life. I share about the “charge” that words carry, how the actual word can stay the same, yet the meaning becomes completely different depending on how it’s delivered or received. I share a funny little airplane story where the flight attendant likes the guy in front of me more than me. I also share a very inspiring story about a remarkable woman I met who experienced deep contrast of having and not having in life. Then I help you see how these 2 Magic Words can be used to really change your life and your focus. I don’t want to give away what the 2 words are, but when you listen you learn how they can empower SO MUCH in your life and get you out of obligation, duty, requirement, pain, suffering, expectation, and the discomforts of life and take you into MASSIVE appreciation, flow, joy and ease. With examples, stories and tools you can use immediately, you’ll know how to SEE and EXPERIENCE the world in a new, beneficial-to-you way! I believe in you, Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Coach Blog, Newsletter sign up, and Coaching opportunities at: JeniferMerifield.com | INSTAGRAM @JeniferMerifield

EPISODE 3 In this episode we talk about the THREE MINDSETS and the amazing power they have over us. I’ll also share whether Affirmations are actually helpful or just a bunch of BS. Taking ownership of the fact that we CHOOSE our Mindset can be tricky and uncomfortable. I share how to do this more easily and what to notice. I go in depth what each of the three Mindsets are, as well as some examples of how they show up in our lives. You’ll hear where depression, anxiety, anger and peace show up and how we lock in the beliefs that don’t serve us while keeping us in limiting mindsets. You’ll learn about the three levels of dependence and which mindset each of them shows up in …and I tell you about an experience I had in Karate class one time that was super painful both physically and mentally, yet taught me a humbling and very valuable lesson in mindset. I explain the mind-body connection concerning which happens first and how it benefits you to know it, and you’ll find out the MAGIC QUESTION to ask yourself when you’re feeling stuck. There is no one that can’t make positive change for themselves and create the life and lifestyle they prefer. I believe in you, Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Coach Blog, Newsletter sign up, and Coaching opportunities at: JeniferMerifield.com | INSTAGRAM @JeniferMerifield

EPISODE 2 This episode is dedicated to the overly “nice” people, the people pleasers, the ones who put themselves at the bottom list, are always saying yes, always taking care of others ahead of themselves, but maybe they’re not feeling so good about it. I am a self-professed, reformed people pleaser myself, so I understand this on several levels. The thing that makes Boundaries tricky for the ones lacking them, is that we don’t see it as a Boundary Issue, we see it as being nice, doing the “right” thing, and being respectful. In this podcast I talk about WHY we people-please, and WHERE fuzzy, unclear boundaries come from. You’ll hear how our past programming plays a huge role and how we pass that on to our own children. I give you some examples so you can relate and see how it shows up in your life and for others, and I tell you specifically what you can do and say to get more clear on what you want your boundaries to be and how to do less people pleasing. Justifying is a symptom of non-clear boundaries I talk about as well. You’ll see how it doesn’t benefit you and what you can do instead. We discuss how it’s hardest with the people we love and spend time with, but also how we will get support from specific people and not others when we make personal changes. Finally, I’ll tell you the TWO things that are the foundation to an Extraordinary Life and are what make us able to maintain strong Boundaries. Wishing you an EXTRAORDINARY day, with strong, clear boundaries! I believe in you, Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Coach Blog, Newsletter sign up, and Coaching opportunities at: JeniferMerifield.com | Social media posts and interaction at: @JeniferMerifield on Instagram

EPISODE 1 If I asked you the question: What do you want? But really, what do you want? Don’t analyze it or let doubts creep in to limit you, what would that be? We do have doubts though, don’t we? And our Doubts and Limits get in the way and HOLD US BACK. Where do these doubts and limits come from, anyway? They come from our past programming and conditioning which comes from OTHER PEOPLE’s limiting views of the world. Now, we do get some good Beliefs from others, but we also get ones that DON’T serve us… and then we make them OUR OWN TRUTHS. Where do they even get their programming and beliefs from? OTHER PEOPLE as well! So then, what is truth anyway? Who’s truth is the real truth? Truth is simply what anyone chooses to focus on and allow to guide their actions and choices in life. There is no ONE truth. There are as many truths as there are people’s perspectives of any one thing. When we have Limiting Beliefs that we buy into, it keeps us in our comfort zones. That’s the place we know what to expect. Things we want, dream of, and desire, we convince ourselves we can’t have them because we’re afraid of the unknown parts OUTSIDE of our comfort zones of how to get them. Especially if we tried and it didn’t happen before because of our own beliefs or something someone else said, we find it safer and more comfortable in our comfort zone. Comfort zones are the place of REGRET. Don’t let that happen. To get out starts with awareness: we need to see and acknowledge our OWN beliefs and limiting views. It’s easier to se other people’s limits and flaws by looking in from the outside without living their experiences. That’s why it’s harder to see our OWN so-called “flaws”. When we recognize the things that are holding us back that is because of ourselves, it STINGS. But, that string is important! Limiting Beliefs and Shoulds keep us STUCK… we can’t move forward. There are some good Beliefs and Shoulds, and sooooo many UNsupportive ones that we obliviously drag around and buy into our whole lives. The acronym for Beliefs and Shoulds is “BS”, kind of perfect right? Because UNSUPPORTIVE and LIMITING Beliefs and Shoulds are exactly that: Bullsh** We need to call BS on everything to see what’s serving us and what’s not. What I believe that truly serves me and I love to share is that: there is no ONE truth, no impossible, and no bad people – just ones who sometimes make NOT good choices and negative judgements (and that’s all of us at some time or another). The best part is, we get to change our minds any time! We need only come from a new perspective. What about YOUR right-now perspective… what is it? How is it currently holding you back? You can find those truth and beliefs wherever you find yourself judging, complaining, criticizing other people or yourself. Wherever you deflect your own pain externally onto someone or something else, or where you harshly do the same behaviours internally about yourself. In order to be free, we can no longer blame externally; we need take ownership of the fact that WE created ALL of our life’s results. No excuses! Imagine someone with 6-pack abs. They don’t make excuses when discomfort shows up, they go to the gym NO MATTER WHAT. It depends what we put importance on and that changes whether we’re in our comfort zones or pushing the edge. When we care more about what others think, we start to not know any more what we actually think. We’ve got to face our discomforts to not stay stuck in our comfort zones. When we feel mediocre in life we get may get a surge of energy to make things different. Sometimes we even do it, we get motivated, but then there’s always a point where it becomes difficult and discomfort show up that are new. The tendency is to go back to the  comfort zone and give up. That Pull is VERY strong, especially when we’re tired, anxious, angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, or when the unknown is scary… we think: maybe I’m not worthy, able, etc. This is the STING. The key is to STAY in the sting for while. The longer we shine light of awareness on it, we start to see it for what it really is and it starts to SHRINK. It’s the coolest thing because now a new surge of energy to go forward emerges and we soon CREATE a new normal and new habits. YOUR COMFORT ZONE EXPANDS!! When we find ourselves teetering on the edge of our comfort zone’s perimeter, it’s when we want whats out there – the good stuff we desire – but we feel drawn back to the comfy “known”. When the STING comes up we may feel guilt, shame, embarrassment, and so on. When this happens, CANCEL trying to feel bad about yourself and instead see the sting as Self Clarity. Do you feel embarrassed? Notice it. Okay, that feels bad but soon dissolves. Next? Shame. Okay, so seeeee it. Feeeel it. Then LET IT GO. Next? Now you’ve take LEAP off edge of your comfort zone. You now have a New Normal and your old discomforts are not uncomfortable any more. FREEDOM. You’ve done this before. You can do it again. What did you get past or afraid in past? This is where the momentum of extraordinary begins. The dictionary definition of ORDINARY = “common, standard, not interesting” – well that’s no fun, not joyous, nor is it exciting. Sounds more like settling, comfort zone, and discomfort to me. The dictionary definition of EXTRAORDINARY = “beyond usual, regular, or customary” this is soooo good because it doesn’t say HOW much beyond those things. So therefor ANY amount even A BIT better is EXTRA Ordinary. Ask yourself with everything: what would make this better, happier, more joyous? You can take anything and make it extra-ordinary with very little effort. Pour your ordinary coffee in a GREAT CUP. Now its extraordinary! Start searching for goodness, then you’ll fall out of focusing on and looking for problems and challenges. You’ll find more of the good stuff. You’ll soon start to expect and create a momentum of happiness and joy. There are TWO THINGS that are kind of magic for creating Extraordinary with ease: Gratitude and Self Love. GRATITUDE (you can swap this word for “appreciation” if you prefer): when you feel gratitude you CANNOT feel negative at the same time. This was a profound epiphany that changed my life. So much so that I tattooed a small heart in a visible place on my hand to remind me all day to come from a place of Gratitude. When you remember it during unhappy / frustrating moments, your mind will search for reasons that diffuse the negative. It works great when driving! Throw humour into it if you have to… it’s about finding the beauty in any situation; looking for things to appreciate in the not-so-great situations of life. It will start the momentum-building of gratitude that then contributes to the creation of Self Love. SELF LOVE rubs off from gratitude in how we feel about ourselves. When we’re positive and happy, self love makes Limiting Beliefs and Shoulds start to disappear. Put it into practice everyday… before you open your eyes in the morning tell yourself what you’re grateful for and what you LOVE about yourself. It’s SUCH an uplifting way to start your day vs. thinking about all the things you need/should/have-to do to appease other people. This is what builds the momentum of EXTRAORDINARY. Listen to the podcast for my little story about how my Grandmother taught me about how to SEE from your heart, not your eyes when life brings challenges and we struggle to see the good. We can ALWAYS find something good, something beautiful, a gift in any situation. So what do you want? What do you REALLY want? What are your desires when you’re stuck in your comfort zone and what do you now WANT to do and GET to do, to OBLITERATE you limiting BELIEFS and “SHOULDS” so you can have more EXTRAORDINARY in your life? I believe in you, Jenifer Merifield Personal Excellence Mentor & Coach Blog, Newsletter sign up, and Coaching opportunities at: JeniferMerifield.com | Social media posts and interaction at: @JeniferMerifield on Instagram