The Thrive with Aspergers Podcast

How to Find Friends Introduction – Someone To Show Me “How” I don’t know if you’re like me, but I like someone to show me how to do some things before I try them. For example, as a therapist, I know how important deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation is for helping people reduce physical and mental stress. (see here and here for scientific research about the benefits) I had read about how to these exercises, but nothing quite helped me as much as watching a couple of videos of psychologists teaching these exercises to kids. The psychologists, from the University of North Carolina, had received lots of training and guidance in these exercises. At some point in life we all struggle to find friends. A big thanks to my friend Marc who gave me a book by Dr. Elizabeth Laugeson, PsyD, author of The Science of Making Friends: Helping Socially Challenged Teens and Young Adults Dr. Laugeson and her colleagues show us how to find friends. She and her team of researchers at the UCLA PEERS groups have studied social skills and “what works” in creating friendships. They have broken down seemingly complex social skills from what people call an “art” to more of a “science.” Here’s what Dr. Laugeson says: Although it may be true that some have a natural knack for conversational arts, it’s not necessarily true that all social skills are hardwired or fixed.  What if conversational skills, and more broadly social skills, were not an art but a science?  Our research in social skills training for teens and young adults with social difficulties is based on this premise. And my premise for you, if you are a middle or later aged adult on the spectrum, is that you can learn these skills as well. #1 Know Yourself Friendships often form around shared interests.  Therefore it’s important to know what your own interests are. The reason that identifying your interests is so important is that friendships are based on common interests.  It’s your common interests that give you things to talk about and things to do with your friends.  If you don’t have things in common with your friends, it may be harder to socialize and get close. Dr. Elizabeth Laugeson, page 43 The Science of Making Friends Want a list of interests to jog your memory? Thank you to my Thrive with Aspergers Autism Community for sharing some of your interests with me to pass along to you: Running Autism and Aspergers (learning more about it) Reading Cooking Crafting History Nutrition Fitness Sports Science Animals Dog Training Etsy Pokemon The list goes on! Once you know your interests, you can find other people who share those same interests.  It gives you something to talk about. #2  Find Friends Through Social Groups Once you know your interests, it’s time to think of social groups who share the interests you’ve identified. Where can you find social groups? Read about these social groups from Thrivers members Here  are some social groups where people in the Thrivers’ community have found friends: Running Clubs Adults with Autism/Aspergers support group meetings Church Work School Volunteer Organizations County Women’s Association Library Committee Book Clubs Dr. Laugeson lists groups that high schoolers and young adults have identified- Jocks, nerds, stoners/druggies/burners, cheerleaders, computer geeks/techies, rockers, popular kids, gamers/video game geeks, hip hop group, student council, science geeks, gang bangers/taggers, drama club, comic book geeks/anime geeks, artists, choir/chorus/glee club, math geeks/mathletes, musicians, greeks (college), band geeks, skaters, groups by major (college only), chess club, surfers, partiers, goths/emos, hippies/granolas, preppies, scene kids, ROTC/military groups, brains/smart kids, hipsters, ethnic/cultural/religious groups. Use Google Both Dan Wendler  and Alix Generous have used Google. Dan “googled” gaming and dance groups to help him find places to get to know people after he moved to a new city. In the words of Alex Generous, When in doubt, Google. When googling, question the reliability and truth of everything. Look at the people who make claims, and ask yourself if they have a sufficient amount of knowledge to make such a claim. The more proactive you are in your education, the less you have to rely on others for answers. You can find all laws, licenses, addresses, and criminal records within a simple click. This is something you should do in regards to everyone involved in providing accommodations for you such as counselors, doctors, and tutors. Meetup.com is another site that you can check out to help you find or start groups aligned with your interests. #3  Commit Yourself To Finding Friends Earlier this week I was listening to Mark Mason and Ray Edwards talk about achieving goals and breakthough growth in 2017. Ray Edwards talked about being unsuccessful with meeting two goals over a several years.  He wanted to lose weight and get out of debt. But year after year he would fall short. Finally, he set some very specific goals in these areas and committed to meeting those goals. In the last year he’s lost 60 pounds and has paid off all his consumer debt! A very important part of commitment and achieving goals is your Why. According to Gail Hyatt, people lose their way when they lose their why. Action Step: Write down your commitment to follow these 6 action tips to Find Friends. Then write your WHY – Why is it important to you to find friends? List all the benefits of finding a couple of good friends. Then list all the negative consequences of NOT finding good friends. Keep this list in front of you every day to remind yourself of your WHY. #4 Adopt A Growth Mindset The idea of a growth mindset comes from education researcher Dr. Carol Dweck. Dan Wendler explained it this way. Consider learning to play the piano, or improving your current piano playing performance. If you have a fixed mindset, you believe that you have a very limited ability to play the piano. However, if you adopt a growth mindset, you shift from thinking about limited ability to believing that you can improve whatever skill you work on. Does this mean that you’ll be a concert pianist? No. But it does mean that you can get progressively better in comparison to where you were! Action Step: Read my article, Try These Top 3 Tips To Improve Your Growth Mindset. These tips include: Understanding What A Growth Mindset Is, Challenging Your Fixed Mindset,  and Breaking Bigger Goals Into Micro Goals. For example – I might think, “I’m autistic/Aspergian, and I just can’t make friends – the textbooks say so.” That’s a fixed mindset. I can then challenge my fixed mindset by saying, “I know of plenty autistics and Aspergians who make friends.  I’ve read about them, I’ve heard them speak, and some of them even have written books about how they have improved their social skills.  If they can do it, I can do it.  At the very least, I can get better and better at finding friends.”   I can then break my goal of finding friends into smaller goals by asking, “What’s one next action I can take to find friends?”  I might decide that I’ll spend a half hour writing down my interests and Googling social groups with those interests in my local area. #5  Assess Peer Acceptance This is a tough subject. But it’s real. Either people are going to accept us, or they are not. Dr. Laugeson’s put together a table to help us understand whether we’re accepted or not: Signs You Are Accepted Versus Not Accepted Signs You Are Accepted Signs You Are Not Accepted They seek you out to do things individually or in the group They do not seek you out to do things They talk to you and respond to your attempts to talk They ignore you and do not respond to your attempts to talk They give you their contact information They do not give you their contact information They respond to your text-message, instant messages, e-mails, or phone calls They do not accept or return your calls or messages They text message, instant message, e-mail, or call you just to talk They do not text message, instant message, e-mail you, or call you They invite you to do things They don’t invite you to do things They accept your invitations to do things They do not accept your invitations to do things They add you to their social networking pages They ignore your friend requests on social networking sites They say nice things to you and give you compliments They laugh at or make fun of you If you find that you’re not being accepted, don’t be too discouraged. A mantra to tell yourself is, “Remember that friendship is a choice.” I have had to accept that some friendships are no longer that.  I continued to reach out and initiate getting together over time, but found that I was making all the effort. Finally, I had to remember, “Friendship is a choice,” and I had to move on. If you’re not being accepted, there could be a number of reasons. But how can you know? It’s hard to say, but I urge you to become part of a virtual community where you can get advice.  That’s where Tip #6 comes in. #6 Get Feedback: Learn Forward I don’t know where I’ve read this, but I do like the idea: “Treat failure as temporary feedback.” When we’ve dealt with rejection of whatever kind, it’s hard not to think that it’s permanent. But remember that it’s those that increase their “failure” rate that succeed more. You can’t learn to ride a bike without taking off the training wheels and falling over a few times. In the same way, every time you decide to go to a social group and get to know people, you’re succeeding, even if you make mistakes along the way. Action Step: Join a group like the Thriver’s group, or join Reddit social skills anonymously.  If you make mistakes along your social journey, ask for help.  There are supportive people waiting to help you along with their own experiences. How To Find Friends: Putting It All Together First, identify your interests.  Friendships are most often built on shared interests. Second, seek out social groups based on those interests. Third, commit yourself to finding friends by going to a group or groups of your choice consistently. Fourth, shift from a fixed to a growth mindset. Fifth, check for signs of peer acceptance or rejection. Sixth, get feedback from people you can trust. Finding friends is an art, but thankfully Dr. Elizabeth Laugeson and Dr. Carol Dweck are paving the way to making art into science through their work and research. I wish you the best in your friendship journey! Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show? Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast? Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes! Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it!   The post TWAP053: 6 Must-Read Tips You Need To Find Friends appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

Life After Adult Autism Diagnosis Perhaps you’ve spent years wondering why you’re different. You researched, you read, you talked to other people, and then you finally obtained a formal autism diagnosis. Now what? Depending on your personality, your support system, and your life circumstances, finding out that you’re Aspergian/autistic may affect you in many different ways. Some Aspergians have felt elated, relieved to finally have something that explains who they are and how they function. Others experience deep depression, anger, and resentment.  They may feel angry at their parents, who denied that autism ever existed. They may feel sad and upset about all the opportunities for learning and therapy that they missed out on as kids. Fortunately, you’re not alone.  Thousands of others adults have gone through adult autism diagnosis. You can move forward in your life after adult autism diagnosis by following lessons learned from other autistic adults. Recognize the Crisis I Googled the term “crisis.” Here is a definition I found most appropriate for this topic of moving forward in life after adult autism diagnosis. Crisis A time when a difficult or important decision must be made. Example:  “A turning point in history.” The Challenge of the Crisis Here’s the challenge, per autistic author Dr. Stephen Shore. It’s uncertainty. In his chapter called “Considering All the Options,” (in the book, the Nine Degrees of Autism , Dr. Shore writes about the challenge of change and autism: Change is one of those concepts that causes major difficulty for us.  Mostly, this is because we have problems with forward thinking….Change brings about a certain amount of unpredictability requiring the processing of novel information from the environment in real time.  If we have to anticipate outcomes from changing relationships, changing social situations, changes to our personal routines, established environments (emotional, work, family, and so on), these cause immense fear, confusion, and pain.  This is mentally and physically exhausting.” We are torn between wishing we didn’t know the truth so we could slip back into ignorance, a place where we didn’t have to be responsible for making appropriate choices, or of moving forward in our newly discovered identity.  Retreating is as difficult as moving on.  Once the light has gone on, there is no returning to the shadows. Recognize The Opportunity The discovery of autism brings crisis, but it also brings opportunity. Cynthia Kim, autistic author of the blog, Musings of an Aspie, wrote the following in her blog post, Adult ASD: Moving Forward After a Diagnosis The decision to pursue a diagnosis was difficult to make. There were times when I doubted my choice. Was it necessary to have a professional diagnosis? Would it make a difference? Having gone through the process, the answer to both questions is yes. I have a strong need for closure. I don’t deal well with gray areas and uncertainty. That piece of paper that says, “299.80 Asperger’s Syndrome” closes off an avenue of doubt for me. Dr. Stephen Shore says that “we now need to work to transform our new self-identity.” Here are some opportunities Dr. Shore and others have identified: Opportunity to find more support Opportunity to learn more about your strengths and weaknesses Opportunity to get accommodations Cynthia Kim wrote about the following specific opportunities to make changes and to accept vulnerabilities: Slowly, I’ve been working at making specific changes. I’ve written about being more flexible, allowing myself to stim more, trying to reduce my insomnia and nightmares, learning to translate from aspie to NT and back, and exploring my emotions. I’ve also written about the things I’ve decided need accepting rather than changing: my lack of empathy, my anxiety, my tactile defensiveness, my love of being alone. My litmus test for change vs. acceptance is simple: is the cost of changing this thing higher than the benefit I’ll gain from the change? Give Yourself Permission To Grieve Maybe you’re  happy that you now understand yourself and your neurology a bit better. For every person who’s happy, I’ve read about or talked to autistics who experience a wide variety of emotions about getting an autism diagnosis as an adult. According to Dr. Debra Moore: Initial reactions can include a cascade of painful feelings, frequently including sadness, grief, anger, and resentment.  A pervasive sense of loss may haunt you.  You may wonder how your life would have been different if you had realized your autism earlier.  You may believe that you were deprived of opportunities and that your potential was lost along the way.  You may fear that it can never be recovered.  -Chapter, The Fourth Degree of Autism, in the book, the Nine Degrees of Autism. Be compassionate to yourself as you go through these emotions. In the words of Dr. Stephen Shore, It takes a lot of time and energy to grow into the wonderful individual you were meant to be.  It’s a process of death in order for there to be life.  As an example I am reminded of Winter.  At times when I’m cold in the Winter and feel the “grayness of a particularly drab day, I remind myself that without Winter there would be no Spring. Read, Write, Talk, Join Read For some of you, reading about your diagnosis will be helpful. Read the stories of others who have gone through this process. Cynthia Kim, from Musings of An Aspie blog, has written a great series of posts about adult autism diagnosis. She’s written a great book about adjusting to life post adult autism diagnosis, called Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate: A User Guide to An Asperger Life Many Aspergians and autistics have recommended Dr. Tony Attwood’s book, The Complete Guide to Asperger Syndrome. Write  I spoke with one podcast listener recently who told me that writing about his feelings after getting his diagnosis was very helpful. He uses a practice that I and thousands of others have found helpful: Writing out his thoughts and feelings in The Artist’s Way Morning Pages Journal.  I own this journal myself and use it to this day. He told that he mostly wrote about anger for the first couple of weeks.  After the anger cleared, he was able to get his core creative thoughts and ideas. In the words of author Julia Cameron: Once we get those muddy, maddening, confusing thoughts [nebulous worries, jitters, and preoccupations] on the page, we face our day with clearer eyes. Read more about Tim Ferriss’ morning pages practice here –  Some of the most deep and profound writings I’ve found about autism come from autistic bloggers and writers.  Often they started their blogs as a way to “work through” their thoughts and feelings post-diagnosis.  Maybe you could do the same! Whether you write a blog or adopt morning pages, consider writing out your thoughts and feelings. Talk Consider psychotherapy as a way to talk about the many thoughts and feelings you’re having. Make sure that the therapist you work with understands Aspergers and autism. Invisible Strings blogger M. Kelter writes about how helpful the right therapist was for him in his blog post about Depression and Therapy. Here’s an older post (from 2011) that I wrote about things to look for in a therapist.   Join Here’s a list of online autism/Aspeger communities to support you as you undertake your post-diagnosis journey – International Aspergirl Society If you’re an Aspergian/autistic woman, join Rudy Simone’s community.  Learn more about it by listening to my podcast episode called, Aspergers Women Empowered: You Need To Hear This!  With Rudy Simone Aspieology Aspieology as an online dating resource for Aspergians.  However, in my interview with the site’s founder, (himself an Aspergian), he stated that just as many people sign up at the site for friendship as much as dating. Listen to my interview with Reg in this episode, Aspieology: Dating Online, Or Not!, to figure out if you may want to connect with others in this support community. Reddit and Wrong Planet Feel free to join anonymously if you’re shy about putting yourself out there. Realize that there are people with strong opinions in any community. But there are just as many who will be helpful. The Thrive with Aspergers/Autism Closed/Secret Facebook Group  Go to my contact page, fill out your details, and let me know you’d like to join.  We’d love to support you in our community. Other Helpful Links, Quotes and Resources: Learning How To Be Autistic After A Late Diagnosis – a helpful discussion thread from Wrong Planet. When did you first get your diagnosis and how did it affect your life to actually have a diagnosis?  How To Understand People Better (recommendation from an Aspergian Reddit user) Accommodation Ideas for Autism Spectrum (from the Job Accommodations Network) Life Skills For Staying Strong In Times of Adversity (an article I wrote for Advanced Life Skills Blog on the topic of resilience) Living Well On The Autism Spectrum Moving Forward In conclusion, remember that you’re not alone with your adult autism diagnosis. Thousands have gone this way before.  Live life with honesty, courage, and resilience. Recognize the crisis and opportunity that new knowledge brings. Read and learn about autism and Aspergers. Write about your thoughts and feelings. Go to counseling to talk all this through in a safe place. And consider joining some online forums or groups for autistics/Aspergians. Congratulations on the next step in your journey of self discovery. Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show? Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast? Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes! Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it! The post TWAP052: Life After Adult Autism Diagnosis appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

Clay Marzo, Darryl Hannah, Temple Grandin are just a few famous people with autism.  Each one has strengths and weaknesses.  So do you. Every person, whether famous or not, has gifts, talents, and purpose.  And everyone who perseveres despite flaws and adversity makes a difference in the world. Here’s a portrait of another famous person with autism, and how he can teach you about your own potential?  Read on to find out more about Tim Burton. “I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.”  Helen Keller Timothy Walter “Tim” Burton is an American film director, film producer, writer, artist and animator.  His awards include Daytime Emmy Award for Outstanding Children’s Animated Program, Future Film Festival Digital Award, and National Board of Review Award for Best Director. Facts About His Life He spent most of his childhood as a recluse.  He was a very introspective person, and enjoyed painting, drawing, and watching films. Tim Burton hasn’t been formally diagnosed with autism, but he identifies with the condition. His ex-wife, Helena Bonham Carter, informally diagnosed him with Asperger’s syndrome. While she was researching for a film she had a bit of an “a-ha moment” when so many of the symptoms of Asperger’s syndrome lined up with the traits that she loves in her husband. Helena says: “We were watching a documentary about autism and he said that’s how he felt as a child. Autistic people have application and dedication. You can say something to Tim when he’s working and he doesn’t hear you. But that quality also makes him a fantastic father, he has an amazing sense of humour and imagination. He sees things other people don’t see.”  Tim Burton autism claims Does He Have Autism, or Doesn’t He? Here’s a thread from Wrong Planet, where different people with Aspergers voiced their opinions: I don’t think he does, by virtue of the fact that he’s a director which is a job i’d imagine requires lots of human interaction and getting large groups of people to do as you please. Surely that would be extremely difficult for someone with asperger’s. But then again, Spielberg is officially an aspie… It is fairly narrow to assume someone with AS cannot be a director. Obsessive interest, the capacity to hyperfocus, a capacity to communicate and talk in relation to a special interest…. persevering with specific goals, attention to detail…. Directing does not require “social” engagement with others. It simply requires the communication of what needs to be done. He would be working within the realm of a special interest……… I’ve asked this before, I used to be a frequent visitor at a Tim Burton forum, and this question would crop up once in a while. I would think so, from watching Edward Scissorhands, and from seeing in interviews, he’s got a very soft voice, and he’s always gesturing to get his point across, since words seem to fail him sometimes. I’ve felt many times like Edward Scissorhands myself, that sad feeling of wanting to “touch” with the rest of the world, but being unable to. I have Aspergers, and I plan on being a director when I am older. I get along FINE and am usually the leader in video projects, and I am very focused on my movies. I don’t have any problem seeing Tim Burton have Aspergers. Whether he has autism or not, here are some interesting facts possibly supporting autistic traits. His ex-wife finds him highly intelligent, yet lacking in social skills. He has the ability to hyper focus on his interests, like Michael Burry on numbers, or Clay Marzo on surfing. He’s capable of seeing details that other more generalized brains would miss. He usually dresses in black, because he doesn’t like spending too much time matching colors.  Most non-autistics are conscious of how they appear, including how their dress.  Tim Burton doesn’t really care. He and his now ex-wife lived in adjoining houses in London with a hallway that connected the two homes.  When I read this fact, I was reminded of this article describing two people on the autism spectrum who live in separate bedrooms due to their sensory and other sensitivies. Finding His Place In the World Tim Burton found his place in the world via his strengths and talents.  Although he struggled with real life drawings during college, he embraced his unique style. I remember, I was at Cal Arts and I wasn’t a good life-drawer; I struggled with that realistic style of drawing. And one day I was sitting in Farmer’s Market sketching, and it was this weird, mind-blowing experience. I said, ‘Goddamit, I don’t care if I can’t draw, I’m just gonna draw how I feel about it.’ All of a sudden I had my own personal breakthrough, and then I could draw, and satisfied myself. I’ve had very few experiences like that, and I’ll never forget it. Go to his website, http://www.timburton.com, to appreciate his unique viewpoint and art. I speculate that Tim Burton struggled with loneliness in his life.  His movie plots often focus on a misunderstood cast.  Yet his characters are often friendly and optimistic, despite bleak surroundings.  His heroes, while often neurotic, somewhat cowardly and bizarre, are also intelligent and highly moral.  [source, facts from Tim Burton’s biography page. Takeaways from Tim Burton’s life for Parents, Teachers, and People on the Autism Spectrum. Parents, value your child’s positive characteristics and unique viewpoints.  Don’t box her in with your expectations of who she should be. Teachers, value your student’s unique learning style and temperament.  Learn about the autism spectrum and work on teaching to your student’s style of learning.  Never underestimate his talents and abilities. People on the autism spectrum, embrace your life purpose, mission, and strengths.  Don’t give up on living.  Learn about others who have gone through adversity, yet remained strong.  Overcome critical voices from the past or present. Interesting Facts and Quotes about Tim Burton Marriages He was married to Lena Gieske, a German-born artist, for two years. He left her to live with actress Lisa Marie, between 1992 and 2001. He left her and began a romantic relationship with English actress Helen Bonham Carter. Source – Wikipedia Facts About His Movies The plot of his movies often focuses around a misunderstood outcast. Many of his films feature townspeople who misunderstand and/or distrust the lead character His heroes are often neurotic, somewhat cowardly and bizarre yet also intelligent and highly moral Source – IMDb Odds and Ends Usually dresses in black, because he doesn’t like to spend too much time matching color He and his ex-wife, lived in adjoining houses with a hallway that connected the two homes – they have a son, Billy-Ray Burton, born on October 4, 2003, and a girl, Nell Burton, born on December 15, 2007. Source – IMDb Tim Burton Quotes –   ““Wanting people to like you is nice, but I’m confident that there’s always going to be lots that don’t,” Mr. Burton said with gallows humor and genuine pride. “I’ll always be able to hang on to that.” Regarding his childhood and teenage years – I felt like an outcast. At the same time I felt quite normal. I think a lot of kids feel alone and slightly isolated and in their own world. I don’t believe the feelings I had were unique. You can sit in a classroom and feel like no one understands you, and you’re Vincent Price in “House of Usher.” I would imagine, if you talk to every single kid, most of them probably felt similarly. But I felt very tortured as a teenager. That’s where “Edward Scissorhands” came from. I was probably clinically depressed and didn’t know it. On leaving a legacy –  I think it’s wise to plan ahead. Start early — plan your funeral now. It’s not a morbid thought. If you want something to happen in a certain way, especially the last thing, you might as well. The thing that I care about most — that you did something that really had an impact on them. People come up on the street, and they have a “Nightmare” tattoo, or little girls saying they love “Sweeney Todd,” and you’re like, “How were you able to see it?” Or you see people, especially around Halloween, dressed up in costume, as Corpse Bride or the Mad Hatter or Sally. It’s not critics, it’s not box office. Things that you know are connecting with real people. Source – New York Times Article – Tim Burton, At Home in His Own Head Articles about People Overcoming Adversity Give Up On Living? Homeless To Harvard No Legs Didn’t Stop Him Overcoming Critical Voices from the Past or Present References http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Burton http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000318/bio What have you learned from Tim Burton and other famous people with autism?  Please let me know below! photo credit Wikimedia creative commons, author Gage Skidmore Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show? Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast? Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes! Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it! The post TWAP051 Famous People with Autism: Tim Burton appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

Today’s blog post and podcast interview is features Alix Generous. Here’s her bio, from Aspergers 101, where she is a regular contributor: Alix’s childhood was hindered by undiagnosed Aspergers until she learned to harness her gifts. Now, at 21 years old, she has already done what most people can only hope to do in their lives; speak to the UN, make a major scientific contribution, give a TED talk, and travel the world. Alix was misdiagnosed as a child. Told she was strickened with a plethora of mental illnesses and learning disabilities, she spent years desperately seeking answers until she found the right kind of help that enabled her to flourish; piano playing, composing, ballet and science. Alix is an undergraduate student in Vermont working toward a degree in neuroscience. She is also currently working on several research projects studying autism and schizophrenia. She utilizes the college learning disabilities accommodation program and now lives comfortably with her challenges. Aspergers101 is thrilled to offer you the insights and brilliance of Alix! Take it away, Alix! When I was diagnosed with Aspergers, my parents enrolled me in 48 hours a week of social skills and coping mechanism training. That was 10 years ago. These are 23 friendly suggestions I still find to be true and carry with me today. Never follow advice that you intend to carry out by hurting another living being. Find what you love and pursue it even if it means working twice as hard in other areas of your life in order to do so. It can be one thing or it can be many. Obsessions and interests can lead to successful careers. Additionally, if you’re interested in a task you’ll do better at it. Following blind happiness is a better decision than choosing certain unhappiness, as long as you apply appropriate practical skills and common sense (which can be learned in a Google search). No matter where you are and what situation you may be in, this isn’t your parent’s, boss, or teacher’s life, it’s your own. With the accumulation of knowledge and self discovery you can make choices that will shape the life you want. If you want to be a scientist, do what you need to in order to make that happen. That path is not exactly linear, you might have to do things differently than others, but that doesn’t make it bad or wrong to pursue. I had an incredible amount of difficulty socially when I started college in Charleston, SC. It was the weirdest feeling because I had wonderful friends there as well as great education and academic support. It never made sense why I was unhappy there but the moment I moved up to Boston 2 years ago, the unhappiness slipped away. Against the advice of my family, I drove to Boston, found an apartment, and an internship in one weekend, and met the love of my life. This move was all based on the feeling that Boston was the place I needed to be. I fit in well because I could talk to people about quantum physics and current issues, and have people eagerly teach me more than I could possibly understand, rather than think I’m weird. If one way doesn’t work, don’t linger on the frustration of a broken road. Find a better way. Study with people who are smarter than you and sit next to the nicest person in class. A great idea implemented in an effective way will always trump prestige and superficial qualities that seem out of reach for those on the spectrum. Your mind is an asset, and if you use it properly without shame or pride, you can change the world. The best way to figure out whether someone is manipulating you or helping you is to ask yourself: Do they want something from me? People can only manipulate you if you have something they want. Special educators sometimes neglect the needs of high-functioning autism in order to retain disability funds. Finding who you are is a continuous journey, not a specific event that happens. It frustrates me how adolescence is deemed a time of searching for identity, because it implies that becoming an adult means you know every aspect of who you are. That’s a bunch of Bologna. I’ve met people of all ages who vary in behavioral patterns and world views. Accept, understand, and utilize your strengths as they are at this moment, and use a growth mindset to improve yourself. The easiest way to interact with someone who thinks and feel differently then you do is to ask them questions. In a debate, argument, or conflict, always validate the opposing persons view before stating your own view. When in doubt, Google. When googling, question the reliability and truth of everything. Look at the people who make claims, and ask yourself if they have a sufficient amount of knowledge to make such a claim. The more proactive you are in your education, the less you have to rely on others for answers. You can find all laws, licenses, addresses, and criminal records within a simple click. This is something you should do in regards to everyone involved in providing accommodations for you such as counselors, doctors, and tutors. Social media is not a substitute for in person interaction. Social skills like table manners or looking someone in the eye when you shake their hand are invaluable. Don’t take advice from hypocrites. For example, don’t take relationship and marriage advice from someone whose had 3 marriages end in divorce. Vaccines do not cause autism. This study was published by a scientist who was jaded by his funding sources, and falsified his data in order to get published. The journal that published his research revoked the paper, and denounced its validity after learning the truth of his research methods. Firm and non-flexible opinions stunt intellectual growth and stifle your own truth. Research all sides of one issue before deciding for yourself. Make choices that bring you closer to your goals, not based simply on what you feel. Mastering this habit will help you overcome lethargy, anhedonia, and other symptoms of depression and social anxiety associated with Aspergers. People are just people. No matter what it may seem, the most seemingly superficial or flawless of individuals have imperfections and insecurities. The success of a person is determined by how they deal with their imperfections and insecurities, not the existence of them. Everyone has their weaknesses, some people are just better at hiding it than others. The energy you put in will be returned to you. Say positive things to yourself and surround yourself with positive people even if you don’t feel it, because it will make your surroundings positive and supportive to who you are. You might have to boot out some psycho family members or close friends if they are creating more negative emotions than positive, but trust me it’s worth it. Be brave, set those boundaries so you and others can be inspired to improve. The easiest way to affect an individual’s first impression of you is with make up, hair, clothes,and body posture. Changing facial expression, tone, and word choice take a lot more work. Hair and makeup never came naturally to me and I didn’t start learning how to use them until I went to college. Pinterest has lots of simple tutorials. Because of sensory issues, I only wear makeup for special events. People are not divided into two categories of “weird” and “normal”. Everyone exists on a spectrum. Go out of your way to figure out what aspects of yourself you can improve on, and which ones you can’t. Love every part of yourself either way.  There is never any need to be mean. Being nice does not equate to being a pushover and you can always present constructive criticism in a respectful manner. Keep firm boundaries in the work place. Your personal and private life are better left separate. If you don’t believe me, try bringing up your aunt’s kidney stone as a casual conversation and tell me how it goes. I send all my love and support to all of you reading this post. -Alix Resources Mentioned In The Podcast Alix Generous’ Website Alix’ Ted Talk: How I Learned to Communicate My Inner Life with Aspergers Alix on Twitter Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show? Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast? Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes! Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it! The post TWAP50: 23 Truths I Learned From Social Skills Training appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

Do you ever get tired of hearing that you’ve got “symptoms” or that you’ve got a “disorder”? Dr. Valerie Gaus, PhD, approaches the spectrum as a scientist practitioner. She talks about strengths and differences, not symptoms or disorders, as the key to living well on the spectrum. That’s why I’m excited to have her on the show. I’ve referenced both of her books extensively as I work with autistics and Aspergians. Show Highlights Dr. Gaus’ roundabout path to working with autistics and Aspergians Empathy – how does it work for the spectrum? Identifying emotions The role of positive psychology in addressing the challenges of living on the spectrum How the autism brain is different, not deficient The importance of being willing to ask for help Autism differences – social, thinking, emotional, sensory/movement Resources Mentioned In The Podcast Dr. Gaus’ website The Positive Psychology Center at University of Pennsylvania The Emotional Blindness of Alexythymia Living Well On The Spectrum, by Valerie Gaus, PhD Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Adult Asperger Syndrome, by Valerie Gaus, PhD Autism Spectrum Disorder in Mid and Later Life, edited by Scott D. Wright, PhD Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show? Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast? Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes! Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it! The post TWAP049: Living Well On The Spectrum appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

Job counseling.  It’s one of the most pressing topics for spectrum adults. One of the best parts of my role here at Thrive with Aspergers is talking to experts from all walks of life. In this episode, I talked to Barbara Bissonnette from Forward Motion Coaching about your questions. Barbara joined the Thrive with Aspergers podcast in Episode 5, and she’s back to give us more advice! Job Counseling Questions You Asked: And Barbara Answered 1.  The statistics indicate that roughly 80% of autistics (people with autism, if you prefer – I don’t) are unemployed or underemployed. I wonder what the stats would really be, as most of us who function well enough to hold a job are not “affected enough” by autism to have been diagnosed (at all, or until later in life, or by self-diagnosis only). Therefore, we’ve been excluded from these statistics. Especially since Aspergers was not a recognized diagnosis until 1993 (I think), and was not absorbed into the autism diagnosis until the DSM-5 came out in 2013. 2.  My kiddo is only 8 years old so we do have a ways to go before worrying about the real world stuff like how he will handle the ups and downs of a job but this is a topic that does interest me.  I am curious if there is any types of training courses for people with Autism to help them adjust to the environments that they will be introduced to when entering into the work force?  Are there certain jobs that prove to be more difficult for people who are on the spectrum?  If so, should these types of jobs be avoided for first timers or would it be helpful to show them how to adapted and overcome some of the struggles in these particular careers? 3.  With regard to the session on Aspergers and employment, I am really interested in tips on how to deal with a boss who is a bully. I know that changing jobs would be an obvious answer, but this isn’t really a viable option for me right now and, apart from my difficult boss, my job is not all that bad. I work part-time in a records management role, which in some ways is ideal for my obsession for detail, although there are other obsessions such as writing for a living that I’d rather be working in (but that is a work in progress!) However, I experience ongoing anxiety about what my boss is going to find wrong with me next, which colours every day of my work in this job. Add that to the over-stimulation of working in an office and I am generally pretty exhausted by the end of the week, even though I’ve only spent 3 8-hour days at the job. I don’t want to spend the rest of my working life in this job and also have a part-time business teaching Pilates (which I love but don’t want to do full-time). I am looking at my future work options and how to get there but in the meantime, I really need to make this job work for me as it is the main source of income for me and my husband and I can’t afford to just leave it. 4.  Do you recommend that someone tell their employer they have been told by their therapist they have Aspergers? My concern is that my employer could potentially use it against me. 5.  It seems my NT co-workers are much more proficient than I at playing the office politics. I generally ignore the politics and just focus on doing my work with excellence. However, I have found that this puts me at a disadvantage at times as I am not brought into the “inner circle” as often as my NT co-workers.   What is the best way to deal with this situation? Helpful Links and Resources Forward Motion, Barbara Bissonette’s Coaching Site Barbara’s free Aspergers employment help guides. Best And Worst Jobs for Aspergers  Job Accommodations Network (JAN) Accommodations Ideas for the Autism Spectrum Listen to the following two episodes with Aspergian Dan Wendler for practical tips to improve your social skills at work: TWAP044: How To Improve Your Social Skills TWAP045: How 100,000 People Are Improving Their Social Skills And apply the growth mindset as you think about work. Barbara’s Job Counseling Books: The Complete Guide to Getting a Job for People With Asperger’s Syndrome: Find the Right Career and Get Hired , byBarbara Bissonnette. Asperger’s Workplace Syndrome Survival Guide: A Neurotypical’s Secrets for Success, by Barbara Bissonnette. Helping Adults with Asperger’s Syndrome Get & Stay Hired: Career Coaching Strategies for Professionals and Parents of Adults on the Autism Spectrum, by Barbara Bissonnette. Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show? Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast? Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes! Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it!   The post TWAP048: You Need Your Job Counseling Questions Answered appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

Adult Autism Diagnosis: Your Questions Answered Do you want to take the confusion out of understanding adult autism diagnosis? In this episode, Dr. Rachel Loftin answers your questions (submitted by many of you) about this interesting topic. Dr. Rachel Loftin, PhD Website: Video Introduction Bio:  Rachel Loftin, PhD AARTS Center: Autism Assessment, Research, and Treatment Services at Rush University Medical Center. Twitter: RachelLoftinPhD Your Questions (And More): Is the criteria for adult Aspergers significantly different from the criteria for children?  Has anything more been published on specific differences in Aspergers in females?  Some excellent websites are advocating research to expand understanding of the somewhat DIFFERENT TRAITS that appear among women.  I recently met a woman who believes she has Aspergers, but that she is ‘flaying under the radar’ due to the emphasis on male diagnosis AND to the somewhat different manner in which Aspergers may be expressed in (for example) a highly creative woman (eg, a writer or artist).   Why is that in the UK there are so many social services available to adults with Autism as opposed to the US? It seems as if as soon as an autistic person becomes an adult they are left to wander and try to navigate this strange world on their own. Why aren’t primary doctors trained to pick up on autistic traits in adults to help with guidance to proper assessment and diagnoses? I have even come across individuals who label themselves as “self-diagnosed aspies” This term should not exist, there has to be professionals to pick up and diagnose traits to further send their clients to specialists for thorough testing. I don’t walk around saying that I have self diagnosed myself with a brain tumor just because I may have some similarities or feelings as a properly diagnosed person with a brain tumor. No brain scans were conducted to show the deviation from a normal brain that a neurologist would pursue to prove the presence of a tumor or an fMRI brain scan to prove autism. Or are there just a lot of misdiagnosed beings out there as well as many people that just don’t bother going to specialists who may not even conduct extensive testing due to the costs involved? Then again, some adults with autism are well known to succeed in passing for “normal” to fit in.  What’s with the delay in professionals determining genetic testing for Autism-Asperger’s. My genetic testing was just to rule out fragile-x but come on why are we so slow in determining which gene or sets of genes are responsible for this? You need more hyper focused people in the labs to move this world positively forward at a much faster pace. Then again perhaps there is and I have not done a thorough search on PubMed to adequately research this. How does one deal with a person (especially a close friend, a brother, or even a spouse) who is extremely successful from a professional standpoint, but displays mind-blindness, obsessions with routine and with saving money,, an extreme need for a particular type of order, shocking lack of common sense in some basic family and financial matters, avoidance of making eye contact, social awkwardness and some others symptoms that may include some traits of Aspergers?  I’m a former educator and am in touch with a number of people who would like to help specific persons seek diagnosis (whether or not the problem is partly or completely or not at all associated with Aspergers). You’ll Also Learn: What kind of online quiz can be used to screen for possible autism traits Benefits and drawbacks of obtaining a formal autism diagnosis Genetic research trends in autism How autism is diagnosed in adults Resources: Autism Quotient Questionnaire Information about the Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS) Dr. Rachel Loftin’s research publications Autism Speaks Resource Guide for Services In Your Area (In the United States) OASIS@MAAP (check the links for both local and international help).  Unfortunately, I’ve lately found the site extremely slow and inconsistent in loading pages once I click on the main website. Rush AARTS Autism Resource Guide for People in Chicago, IL Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show? Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast? Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes!  Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it! The post TWAP047: An Expert Tells You About Adult Autism Diagnosis appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

“Aspergers came into my life when I was forty years old…as I have gotten older, I have come to appreciate how my differences have turned out to include gifts that have set me apart.”  John Elder Robison, Be Different Background and Career Michael Burry had a sense of being different as he grew up.  When he was young, he developed cancer in one of his eyes, resulting in its removal. Here are some quotes from a Vanity Fair article outlining some of the challenges he faced: Eye Contact Difficulties “It took all my energy to look someone in the eye,” he said. “If I am looking at you, that’s the one time I know I won’t be listening to you.” Making Sense of Social Interactions “He found it maddeningly difficult to read people’s nonverbal signals, and their verbal signals he often took more literally than they meant them. When trying his best, he was often at his worst.” Friendships “My nature is not to have friends,” he said. “I’m happy in my own head.” Career and Success Despite these challenges, Michael Burry persevered. He attended Vanderbilt University, where he studied English, Economics, and Pre-Medicine. After graduating from medical school, he got extra training in neurology at Stanford Hospital.  As if this wasn’t enough, he became fascinated with the stock market during this time. While working 12 hour shifts as a resident, he wrote his own stock market blog from midnight to 3 am.  Corporations and independent investors started reading his blog and following his advice.  This neurology resident, blogging during his ‘off hours’ amazed them all. Dr. Michael Burry  struggled with social interactions involved with patient care. His passion for numbers and analysis won out over his chosen career in medicine.  So he decided to quit medicine and pursue his interests. He started his own investment fund as a money manager.  Over eight years, average U.S. stocks underperformed.  But Dr. Burry’s fund made $100 million for him and $700 million for his investors during that time! Michael’s ability to focus and analyze may have been offset by the stress of dealing with the investor relations side of his business.  He eventually shut down his investing firm to focus on his own personal investments. At age 35,  Michael Burry found out about his own diagnosis of Aspergers after his 4 year old son was diagnosed with the same condition. He wasn’t happy about it.  Just as John Elder Robison points out in his book, Be Different, Aspergers is often called a disorder.  In John’s words, …to some of us, the phrase ‘Asperger’s’ is misleading because it makes Asperger’s sound like a disease or an injury.  You say, ‘I have a cold’ or ‘I’ve got a broken leg.’  Saying you ‘have’ something implies that it’s temporary and undesirable.  Asperger’s isn’t like that.  you’ve been Aspergian as long as you can remember, and you’ll be that way all your life.  It’s a way of being, not a disease. Eventually, he accepted his diagnosis.  He met with a psychologist to better understand Aspergers as well as the impact it had on him and his family. What We Can Learn From Michael Burry In his book, Be Different, John Elder Robison shared some “secrets” to his success in life as an Aspergian.  We can find these same success guidelines when we review Michael Burry’s life story. Find Your Strengths and Interests Everything begins with finding our particular strengths and talents.  Or merely acknowledging them and accepting them. Michael Burry happened to have interests that people were willing to pay for: medicine and numbers. Parents, honor your child’s particular interests.  You may not see how they have any value currently, but there may be parallel strengths and interests that will later pay off. Find Real-World Applications for Your Special Skills One of the keys for career success, whether as an entrepreneur or employee, is to find a) what we’re passionate about; b) what we’re good at; and c) how what we’re both passionate about and good at can help solve problems for people who are willing to pay for our solutions. Michael Burry solved the problem of how to make money during a recession for thousands of investors.  He was passionate about numbers and the stock market; he knew he was good at what he was doing; and there were corporations and private investors willing to pay a great deal of money for the skills he offered. If you’re a teen, young adult, or mid life adult Aspie, I encourage you to visit my other site, Personal Success Factors, where I explore themes of  Discovering Your talents and purpose; Differentiating Yourself; and Developing a Plan to live your purpose and talents out in the world. Focus and Work Hard One of the blessings of Aspergers tends to be an ability to focus very well on areas of interest.  Michael Burry exemplifies the obsessiveness and hard work that result in success.  His ability to pore over reams of research to extract his own personal strategies for investing resulted in financial prosperity. Resolve Again, the autism spectrum often blesses individuals with confidence in logic and their personal perspective on the world.  They are not easily swayed by the court of public opinion.  This ability to believe in their own point of view can pay off.  Michael Burry adopted a contrarian view of value investing when no one else believed him; in fact, may investors revolted against his single minded pursuit of investments that scared them.  But it resulted in a huge payoff.  He credits his ability to form his own opinions to his Aspergian way of thinking.  He had done the research, and he was sure of his facts. In the End No, you are not Michael Burry.  I’m not Michael Burry.  We are each as different as the snowflakes that fall upon the earth.  It’s up to you and me to discover our own personal vision, mission, and goals; our own personal talents, strengths, and interests.  It’s up to you and me, with the right help, to identify what groups of people can profit from our knowledge/passion/talents, and then to pursue a path that will result in value to those people in the form of our solutions, and also result in monetary profit for us. I look forward to hearing about how Michael Burry’s story inspires you to action! References: The Most Interesting Story Missing From ‘The Big Short’ Michael Burry, Entrepreneur, Financial Analyst, Author, The Big Short Betting on the Blind Side Michael Burry Wikipedia article Here’s a great video of Michael Burry on how standing apart from the crowd helped him: The post Famous People With Aspergers: Michael Burry appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

The Ugly Duckling, Self-Identification, and You According to Dictionary.com, self-identification is defined as identification of oneself with some other person or thing. We all know the story about the Ugly Duckling. I’ve always loved the story, because I can relate.  There’ve been times in my life when I felt like an ugly duckling, not quite belonging. Perhaps you’ve felt that way, too. Too bad the ugly duckling didn’t know sooner about self-identification. Today I’ll share three ways that self-identification will change your life for the better. Autistic adults go through nine developmental stages of growth during their lifespan. (Source: The Nine Degrees of Autism). The first degree of autism is being born on the autism spectrum. In the story of the “ugly” duckling, the baby swan is born into a family of ducklings.  By definition, the swan is different than the ducklings. The second degree of autism is knowing that we are different, without understanding why. When his duckling parents and siblings rejected him, the ugly duckling knew he was different.  When he looked at his reflection in the water, he knew he was different but didn’t understand why. As an autistic, you’ve more than likely felt different.   Maybe your parents, siblings, or peers didn’t understand autism, so they tried to make you be more like them.  Over time, you realized you thought and felt differently than so many people around you. The third degree of autism is developing secondary health issues. Like the ‘ugly duckling’, the autistic person may experience ridicule/teasing/bullying.  He may be excluded from society, or treated as inferior within the family.  These factors, in turn, can lead to depression, anxiety, insomnia, stress. When feeling depressed, sleepless, anxious, and stressed, how can you or I grow? That’s where the fourth step of autism comes: self-identification. Everyone can grow by learning about self-identification. Self-Identification Offers A Solidified and More Accurate Self-Perception Successful self-identification gradually evolves from initial disequilibrium to a newly formed and eventually solidified and accurate self-perception.  Old memories and experiences are now filtered through a clearer lens, and your life story emerges with more clarity as previously confusing experiences begin to make sense.  (Dr. Debra Moore, PhD, The Nine Degrees of Autism) Imagine thinking your a duckling, and not a very good one at that, during your whole life.  Then you find out you’re a swan!  It boggles the mind, then brings things into focus. Self-Identification Offers You Space And Time To Learn About Yourself Both Dr. Moore (author of the chapter on Self-Identification in the Nine Degrees of Autism) and others in the Wrong Planet forums advise against self-diagnosing. During the period of self-identification there may be a long time when you’re exploring whether you may be on the spectrum.  It’s okay to take your time, because a) it may take a while to receive a diagnosis, and b) you don’t want to jump to conclusions. You may want to try some online autism quizzes , but remember that these are only screening tools that don’t take the place of an official diagnosis. In the words of a Wrong Planet member – I will offer how it was for me. After first hearing of Asperger’s, I felt like I was reading my own biography. I thought, “Wow, this is me, after all these years of wondering why I am the way I am … this is it!” But I did not go out and say I had Asperger’s … not yet. I scheduled an appointment for a diagnosis from a qualified expert. After running through the necessary testing and interviewing and paperwork and and and, I was diagnosed with Asperger’s and proceeded to schedule some counseling sessions. It was after the professional diagnosis that I made known I had Asperger’s. I can’t speak for others, but I thought I would share how I felt about it for me. Self-Identification Helps You Contextualize Your Struggles and Learn About Your Strengths “For us…identifying with Asperger’s syndrome (and maybe going on to get a formal diagnosis) has been the most positive moment in our lives, and provided a crucial turning point.   It has been distressing, for sure, but out of the catharsis has come self-awareness and with it, self-confidence: “I am no longer a failed normal person. I am a successful aspie.” (source: Life on the Spectrum) Check out some Aspergian specific strengths here – What Strengths are Common To Adults with Aspergers Syndrome? 50 Positive Characteristics of Aspergers  Adults with Aspergers: The Strong Points  Conclusion: Self-Identification, The Ugly Duckling, And You Once the Ugly Duckling found out he was a swan, the story ends beautifully as he swims off with his family. It’s not that easy of an ending in real life. The road to self-identification doesn’t always end like a fairy tale.  People will misunderstand.  Society still stigmatizes autistic people. But you now know who you are.  You have a tribe of people who understand you (hint: join us at the Thrive with Aspergers/Autism community).  And you can move into the next stage of growth: examining your options.  More on that in the future. Helpful Additional Reading/Resources I Think I Might Be Autistic, by Cynthia Kim. The Nine Degrees of Autism, by Phylip Wylie, Wenn B. Lawson, and Luke Beardon Self Diagnosis and Self Identification – (WrongPlanet discussion thread) Getting help and assistance while in the process of self-identification Get Rid of Adult Aspergers Uncertainty Once and For All  Here is A Secret That Can Bring Aspergers Peace of Mind   Think You Might Have Asperger’s Syndrome?  Adult Diagnosis — a series of posts by Cynthia Kim, Apergian woman documenting her own journey and offering help to others Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show? Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast? Become a Patron of the Thrive With Aspergers Podcast! Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes!  Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it! Please share your ideas about self-identification in the comments below! The post It Did What? 3 Great Secrets About Self-Identification appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

“The best time to plant a tree is 10 years ago – the second best time is today.” Chinese proverb, as quoted by Daniel Wendler from ImproveYourSocialSkills.com Daniel Wendler Talks About Social Skills Training As an adult, have you ever felt that life has passed you by?  Maybe you were diagnosed with Aspergers later in life and you’re trying to make sense of it all. Or maybe you just think that you can’t learn certain skills, including social skills, because you’re autistic. Aspergian Daniel Wendler is here to challenge you!  Daniel moderates the Reddit social skills forum where over 100,000 people are developing their social skills! In this interview, I continue to talk with Daniel Wendler about growth mindset about social skills training. Every Aspergian and non-Aspergian can improve their quality of life by adopting a growth mindset.  I’ve attached an in Questions You Asked: Question 1:  I don’t know if this is considered to be a social question or not?  But starting next week I am about to be around several people, and will most certainly need to do presentations to them at some point.  I am absolutely terrified of that.  (When I’m in front of a group, my heart pounds to the point I’m afraid I’ll have a heart attack, my voice quivers, my mind shuts down, I can’t think of the words to say, sometimes I say things that aren’t true and I have no idea why, …). I am 41, and I have tried books, speaking classes (like Toastmasters).  I literally think public speaking could physically kill me! Question 2:  I would like to know how someone who is diagnosed with Aspergers late in life (around 50) can escape underemployment. In This Episode You’ll Learn: Easy ways to think about growth mindset for learning new skills How a growth mindset differs from a fixed growth mindset Daniel’s example from life of how he changed from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset in learning to cook Common fixed growth mindset thoughts about social skills:  “I’m on the spectrum, if you want me to socialize, I’m going home to be alone.  “I’ll try this one socializing event, but if it doesn’t work, I’m giving up forever, because I’m no good at this” Growth mindset – How to counteract some of the fixed mindset thoughts How to celebrate small and frequent successes during the process of learning new skills or working on a new goal The importance of a safe community, mentors, and coaches It’s never too late to learn and grow Links and Resources: Connect with Daniel Wendler Dan’s Website: http://www.danielwendler.com/ Improve Your Social Skills Find Daniel on LinkedIn, Twitter or Google+. Daniel Wendler’s Books Improve Your Social Skills, Kindle Ebook, by Daniel Wendler (22 five start Amazon reviews and counting!). Level Up Your Social Life Here’s a great video about Growth Mindset from Dr. Carol Dweck (4 million views and counting!) How To Improve Your Social Skills: Your Action Plan 1) Go through the basic social skills guide to get you started. Free! Master it, and then move on to buying the book or joining the membership, then think about. 2) Become a member at Improve Your Social Skills: The costs are very reasonable. Choose from Basic, Ad Free, and Lifetime Memberships. Covers topics of Group Conversation, Making Friends, Empathy, Dating, Meeting People 3) Once you’ve gone through all of the above material, practice conversation, either with family members or acquaintances. If you’d like more direct feedback, Daniel has arranged a service called conversation partners. These are two of his friends who will converse with you, and then give you feedback about how you’re coming across. 4) After all of those steps, you may want to consider personal coaching with Daniel. It’s a bit more expensive because Dan has limited time while he works on his doctorate. 5) For more support, head on over to the Reddit social skills forum, which Daniel helps moderate.  Or, if you’re an Aspergian woman, consider joining Rudy Simone’s International Aspergirl Society. 6) Finally, Daniel also recommended that you consider going to a professional counselor, especially if you’re also dealing with anxiety and/or depression. Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show? Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast? Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes! Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it! Related articles across the web TWAP044: How To Improve Your Social Skills Paradoxical habits of wildly successful people The post How 100,000 People Are Improving Their Social Skills appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

100,000 Users Are Improving Their Social Skills 100,000!  That’s how many people are part of Daniel Wendler’s moderated social skills forum on Reddit. Daniel Wendler discovered his Asperger diagnosis in high school. Since then, he’s been on a quest consistently improve his social skills. Now he’s in his third year of his clinical psychology doctoral program. He’s given a Ted Talk about his life story, he’s written two books, and he founded the site, ImproveYourSocialSkills.com.  He also coaches people on becoming better conversationalists. How To Improve Your Social Skills Listen to this episode to learn how to improve your social skills. In this episode you’ll learn: How Daniel became interested in social skills The powerful positivity of an online community When to stop  talking in a conversation How to deal with conversation if you’re really not interested in what the other person is saying The creaky door technique Developing a growth mindset Social Skills Q & A: From You, The Listeners! Question 1:  Conversation. Where do I stop? When have I said too much? I don’t do chit chat well. It’s hard to find others with the same interests as me and I’m not social enough to go out looking. Most people bore me and most don’t understand me. Now look, I’ve already said too much. I don’t know if this is considered to be a social question or not?  But starting next week I am about to be around several people, and will most certainly need to do presentations to them at some point.  I am absolutely terrified of that.  (When I’m in front of a group, my heart pounds to the point I’m afraid I’ll have a heart attack, my voice quivers, my mind shuts down, I can’t think of the words to say, sometimes I say things that aren’t true and I have no idea why, …). Question 2:  What can a child with ” Aspergers” do to improve their social skills and have the ability to empathize? Links and Resources: Connect with Daniel Wendler Website: http://www.danielwendler.com/ Improve Your Social Skills: http://www.improveyoursocialskills.com Find Daniel on  LinkedIn, Twitter or Google+. Daniel Wendler’s Books Improve Your Social Skills, Kindle Ebook, by Daniel Wendler (22 five start Amazon reviews and counting!). Level Up Your Social Life Here’s a great video about Growth Mindset from Dr. Carol Dweck (4 million views and counting!) How To Improve Your Social Skills: Your Action Plan 1)  Go through the basic social skills guide to get you started.  Free!  Master it, and then move on to buying the book or joining the membership, then think about. 2)  Become a member at Improve Your Social Skills: The costs are very reasonable.    Choose from Basic, Ad Free, and Lifetime Memberships.  Covers topics of Group Conversation, Making Friends, Empathy, Dating, Meeting People 3) Once you’ve gone through all of the above material, practice conversation, either with family members or acquaintances.  If you’d like more direct feedback, Daniel has arranged a service called conversation partners.  These are two of his friends who will converse with you, and then give you feedback about how you’re coming across. 4) After all of those steps, you may want to consider personal coaching with Daniel.  It’s a bit more expensive because Dan has limited time while he works on his doctorate. 5) For additional support, head on over to the Reddit social skills forum, which Daniel helps moderate. 6) Finally, Daniel also recommended that you consider going to a professional counselor, especially if you’re also dealing with anxiety and/or depression. Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show?  Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast?  Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes!  Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it! The post TWAP044: How To Improve Your Social Skills appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

Aspergers Women and the Boy From Brazil? Trust me, I’m going somewhere with this. I grew up overseas, in Brazil, South America.  As a third culture kid, meaning I was both North American because of my parents, but Brazilian by birth, I never quite fit in either in the United States or in Brazil. But when I get together with other missionary kids, and even people from other cultures here in the United States, I feel right at home. In the same way, Aspergers women may never quite feel like they fit into society.  But, as Rudy Simone says in this interview, when they come together, they have found their home. By the time you’re done listening to this interview, you’ll believe my premise: Every Aspergian woman can improve the quality of her life by connecting with other Asperigan women, both on and offline. Rudy Simone is a bestselling Aspergers woman author, advocate, entrepreneur, musician, actress, and much more. In This Episode You’ll Learn: How Rudy discovered she is Aspergian Some of the strengths of Aspergirls Hints for handling oneself on social media Advice for Aspergers women in relationships Advice for non Aspergers women married to Aspergers men Why Rudy founded the International Aspergirl Society Links And Resources International Aspergirl Society Rudy Simone’s main website Rudy Simone’s Books Aspergirls: Empowering Females With Asperger Syndrome 22 Things A Woman Must Know: If She Loves A Man With Asperger Syndrome 22 Things A Woman With Asperger Syndrome Wants Her Partner To Know Aspergers On The Job Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show? Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Also, please leave an honest review for The Thrive with Aspergers Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and I read each one of them. Do you enjoy this podcast? Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes!  Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it! The post Aspergers Women Empowered: You Need To Hear This! appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

Aspergers is Awesome! So says Dr. Frank Gaskill, creator of the Dr. G. Aspie Show, and I agree with him! All people, over time, are susceptible to negative messages about themselves. Because Aspies and autistics are often made to feel “less than”, they can start believing these messages from society and media. That’s why I’m so glad professionals like Dr. Frank Gaskill are out in the world, seeking to educate society about the many strengths of Aspergers. Dr. Gaskill’s Academic Background: B.A., M.A., and Ph.D. in Psychology from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill Internship at Devereux Foundation of Pennsylvania Senior Research Psychologist for Devereux Foundation, serving treatment outcome research needs for +15,000 patients across the country One of the founding and a managing partner of Southeast Psych Member of private schools admissions testing team (CAIS) Author/Co-author of 2 books In This Episode You’ll Learn About: His positive view of Aspergers and how that came about The lemon continuum Using a skills based approach How he became interested in psychology in general and Aspergers in particular How Dr. Gaskill joins his clients’ world How Dr. Gaskill and his group practices make psychology fun AspieCon! Dr. Gaskill’s thoughts on the term “Aspergers” going away – or not How parents can promote a positive view of autism/Aspergers to their child Mentoring for young people on the spectrum via David Finch. The benefit of the superhero analogy Links and Resources:  Max Gamer: I Am A Superhero! Shrink Tank – Dr. Gaskill’s site, where popular culture and psychology meet! Southeast Psych – Dr. Gaskill’s fun and innovative practice. Dr. Travis Langley, Superherologist! Comicspedia – a cool site talking about comics and psychology. Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show?  Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Also, please leave an honest review for The Thrive with Aspergers Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and I read each one of them. Do you enjoy this podcast?  Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes!  Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that more people can see it! The post TWAP042: Did You Know? Aspergers Is Awesome! appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

Just four years ago, Philip Wylie didn’t even know about autism or Aspergers.  He was living overseas in Thailand. Through a series of circumstances, he learned about and was diagnosed with Aspergers. While others have had better experiences, he unfortunately went through some deep depression after discovering his diagnosis. Four years later, Philip has learned deep self-acceptance.  He’s spearheaded various valuable projects, written books, and is spreading a positive awareness of autism. I recently read an article by M. Kelter from Invisible Strings blog about the high number of email inquiries he gets from autistics and Aspergians who are depressed and have suicidal thoughts.  They are so discouraged. But there is a movement of great Aspergian and autistic writers who are bringing hope. Philip is one of those writers. Improving self-esteem is something you can do by learning more about the nine degrees of autism. In This Episode You’ll Learn: The final three stages of the Nine Degrees of Autism: Acceptance, Unconditional Service, and Recognition/Mastery/Unity The importance of focusing on your passions, strengths, and interests The difference between a day job and legacy projects And much, much, more Action Plan For Improving Self-Esteem: Buy the Book, The Nine Degrees of Autism Read and learn about each degree of autism. Write down tips from each stage that you can apply to your own life. Join the Thrive with Aspergers/Autism community by going to my contact page and letting me know you want to join, so that you have others to support you on your journey. Links and Resources: Philip Wylie’s Home Page – with all 3 parts of his Psychobiography – http://bit.ly/philip-wylie Philip’s Digitized Copy of His Grandfather’s Autobiography can be found in the links below: https://www.createspace.com/5961096 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Cold-Blooded-Dentist-Psychobiography-Systemiser-Bed-Bugs-ebook/dp/B01A1AWA9M/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8 http://www.lulu.com/shop/norman-s-wylie/the-cold-blooded-dentist-psychobiography-of-a-systemiser-part-3/ebook/product-22501395.html Blood Clots etc (Part 2) can be found in the links below: Kindle: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Blood-Clots-Etcetera-Psychobiography-Systemiser-ebook/dp/B01G1CP3Y8/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1470031774&sr=1-1&keywords=blood+clots+etcetera Epub: http://www.lulu.com/shop/philip-wylie/blood-clots-etcetera-psychobiography-of-a-systemiser-part-2-outsider-economy-class-syndrome/ebook/product-22665559.html Here Philip Wylie’s page with Routledge which lists the prior Thrive With Aspergers podcast with Philip: http://bit.ly/phil-routledge-podcasts Genius Genes: How Asperger Talents Changed The World, by Michael Fitzgerald and Brenan O’Brien The post TWAP41: Improving Self Esteem with Philip Wylie appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

Do you know what Pokemon and famous people with Aspergers have in common? I never thought I would learn so much about Pokémon as I have in the last few years.  Everyone’s talking to me about Pokémon Diamond, Pokémon Pearl, and now, Pokémon Go! I conducted a search about famous people with Aspegers and autism and found a list at the website called Child Autism Parent Cafe.  Then I went to  Wikipedia and found a list of famous people on the autism spectrum. There has been some backlash about talking about “famous” people on the autism spectrum. But I believe we can draw inspiration and life lessons from these people. Lets’ learn about what Pokémon has to do with famous people with Aspergers.  Satoshi Tajiri, the creator of Pokémon, is an individual with Aspergers! Famous People With Aspergers:  Satoshi Tajiri photo credit: Bulpapedia on Bing Images Satoshi was born in rural Japan.  Like other people on the autism spectrum, Satoshi had an early special interest.  He loved to collect bugs.  In fact, other kids started calling him “Dr. Bug.”  He expressed an interest in becoming an entomologist. As rural Japan became urbanized, he desired to give other people the joy he experienced in catching and studying bugs. This was, in part, his passion behind creating the Pokémon collection of characters. School Years As a teenager, Satoshi discovered the world of arcade games. He spent so much at the arcade, even cutting classes, that his parents thought of him as delinquent! As a talented person on the autism spectrum, he developed a new special interest, and began to think about creating his own video games. To his parents’ dismay, Tajiri almost failed high school. He often cut his high school classes because of his fascination with video games. His father tried to get him a job a local Toyota Electric Company, but Tajiri turned the job down. He managed to graduate by taking make up classes for his high school diploma. And he never did go to college. Forging His Own Path Tajiri chose the road less travelled when it came to school. He enrolled at Toyko National College of Technology, where he studied electronics. While there, he started a magazine about developments and trends in the gaming industry. Another gaming enthusiast named Ken Sugimori joined the magazine as an illustrator. He actually drew many if not most of the original Pokémon characters. Like many people on the autism spectrum, Tajiri had an eye for detail and a drive for perfection. He became interested in Nintendo and Game Boy when they first came out. He studied the programming language of Nintendo to better understand gaming systems. It was Tajiri who conceptualized using link cables to connect hand-held Game Boy systems.  He wanted players to play together instead of against each other. Tajiri has continued to follow his passion, designing new games and continuously improving his current games.  He has been known to work 24 hours at a time!   photo credit: yoppy on Flickr Lessons I Learned from Tajiri Each Individual Is Unique As parents, teachers, and therapists, we must respect the individual gifts and talents of each person on the autism spectrum. Just because s/he’s career or schooling interests may not t “fit the mold” of what we think is best, doesn’t mean s/he won’t find his own best career or school path. On the one hand, every child needs structure, discipline, and challenge. On the other hand, each child needs to be studied and allowed to blossom according to his/her temperament, gifts, and talents. Temple Grandin received lots of parental structure and support.  She speaks about how strict her parents were with her in terms of teaching her manners and respect. On the other hand, her parents also exposed her to a myriad of opportunities and experiences, letting her choose her own particular path in the end. In the same way, I’m sure Tajiri’s parents were somewhat distressed as he cut classes, hung out at video game arcades, and turned down  a ‘good job’ at the electric company.  Yet in the end he made his way to become one of the top 100 gaming entrepreneurs/inventors of all time. Autism Spectrum Strengths Can Pay Off With Careers One can never generalize to an entire group from a single person, but there were some autism characteristics that made Tajiri successful as an inventor and entrepreneur. He had an intense specialized interest in video games. This intense interest drove him to work long, hard hours in pursuit of ever better games. He had an eye for details.  Because he was so steeped in the culture and language of video games, he saw new possibilities to provide ever better products to video gaming teens. In conclusion, I hope you enjoyed reading this portrait of a famous person with Aspergers. Tajiri Satoshi helped me to appreciate some of the positive strengths of the autism spectrum; some of the career directions for people with Aspergers and autism; and how to be better friend parent, teacher, and therapist to autistic and Aspergian people in my life. What have you learned from famous people with autism/Aspergers? Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show?  Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast? Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes!  Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it! The post Famous People With Aspergers: Pokemon?! appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

Yes, I think you should! (Be interested in face analysis) I’m excited to share this interview with Dr. John Habershon, PhD, and his extensive work with face analysis. My premise is that, through study and practice, you and I can improve our ability read and understand emotions in others. This is an important part of emotional regulation. In This Episode You’ll Learn: What face analysis is, and how it can be helpful to you. How Dr. Habershon’s work sets him apart from the Dr. Simon Baren Cohen Resources to help you improve your ability to “read” people’s expressions. Links and Resources Mentioned: Momentum Research – Dr. John Habershon’s website. Lie To Me – television series loosely based on Dr. Ekman’s work regarding micro-expressions Dr. Ekman’s critique of the TV show Dr. Ekman’s Six Universal Emotions: Joy (Sometimes referred to as ‘Happiness’) – symbolized by raising of the mouth corners (an obvious smile) and tightening of the eyelids Surprise – symbolized by eyebrows arching, eyes opening wide and exposing more white, with the jaw dropping slightly Sadness – symbolized by lowering of the mouth corners, the eyebrows descending to the inner corners and the eyelids drooping Anger – symbolized by eyebrows lowering, lips pressing firmly and eyes bulging Disgust – symbolized by the upper lip raising, nose bridge wrinkling and cheeks raising Fear – symbolized by the upper eyelids raising, eyes opening and the lips stretching horizontally source – https://www.kairos.com/blog/the-universally-recognized-facial-expressions-of-emotion Dr. John Habershon’s Emotions Reader –  available for iPhone, Mac, and iPad – Description – This interactive book is a learning tool designed for those on the autism spectrum, but is useful for anyone who wishes to sharpen their abilities in reading facial expressions. It features twenty-eight video clips of real emotions being displayed. Each is accompanied by still images and a detailed description. The examples have been chosen because they are recognizable and not too difficult to interpret. Students are asked to watch the video – first in real time, then in slow motion – and to identify three actions which occur in the few seconds in which the emotion is being displayed. This may be movements of the head, or a crinkling around the eyes, or a tightly closed mouth. Students are given six options and asked to identify three key actions. Reading Emotions, by Dr. John Habershon This book is available for download with iBooks on your Mac or iOS device. Multi-touch books can be read with iBooks on your Mac or iOS device. Books with interactive features may work best on an iOS device. iBooks on your Mac requires OS X 10.9 or later. The most comprehensive collection of subtle expressions of emotion, featuring real people expressing real emotions, from glee to embarrassment, from distress to enjoyment. Consists of fifty-five examples of subtle emotions, taken from in-depth interviews on topics as wide as favourite brands, responses to new concepts and stressful events such as bereavement. – each short video clip is shown first in real time, then in slow motion. – each clip broken down into numbered stills which can be swiped through – accompanied by detailed notes on changes to the face and body language Here’s where you can download the new Reading Emotions App on Dr. Habershon’s website. Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show? Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast? Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes! Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it! The post TWAP038: Face Analysis: Should You Be Interested? appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

Want to be inspired? In this autism podcast episode, Haley Moss shares her life story with an emphasis on the positive traits of Aspergers. Haley describes herself as an advocate, artist, and author. She’s a 21 year old University of Florida graduate currently attending the University of Miami law school. In This Episode You’ll Learn: What we can learn about a positive approach to autism from Haley and her parents Haley’s quote about dealing with a society that still needs educating about autism and other conditions:  “You are perfect in an imperfect world.” How Haley explains autism to people who haven’t heard of it. How Haley first met others on the spectrum, and how she stays in touch with those friends today Tips for kids going into middle school Advice for those transitioning from high school to college Her thoughts about women on the spectrum Links and Resources Haley Moss – Here’s where Haley shares her videos, books, and art work. Middle School: The Stuff Nobody Tells You About A Freshman Survival Guide for College Students on Autism Spectrum Spectrum Women and Resources Haley Recommends Jennifer O’Toole – AsperKids – Different Together Temple Grandin Autism Women’s Network Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show? Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast? Become a Patron of the Thrive With Aspergers Podcast! Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes! How to leave an iTunes rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad Launch Apple’s Podcast app. Tap the Search tab. Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review. Tap the blue Search key at the bottom right. Tap the album art for the podcast. Tap the Reviews tab. Tap Write a Review at the bottom. Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it! The post TWAP037: Haley Moss Shares Her Story appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

Have you ever tried to manage your anxiety? If so, you’ll know that it’s difficult because anxiety isn’t something we pay attention to- it just creeps up on us gradually, or just plain assaults us. So what do you do? Many people have found success by using medication and therapy. Medication and therapy have their place.  But, in addition to those very important treatments, the age of the internet has spawned anxiety apps!    This post will tell you about some of the new anxiety apps, and why I love them. 5 Reasons To Love The New Anxiety Apps 1.   You can use them any time You can only see a psychiatrist or a therapist at certain times, by appointment. But you can pull your smartphone out any time! 2.  They walk you through the learning process I’ve been learning about and teaching cognitive behavior and mindfulness for years. But it’s taken me that long to become comfortable teaching it to my clients. Anxiety and other mental health apps make complex ideas simple. They walk you, step-by-step, through the learning and practice process. 3.  They can help you build powerful habits outside of therapy “Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.” ~ Lao Tzu If you’re already attending counseling or therapy, you learn a lot during the session. But how easy is it to translate everything you learned in that session into your life? Apps are great not only at teaching, but reinforcing learning. And once you’ve learned a positive habit, it becomes part of your character that improves your quality of life. 4.  They decrease stigma Let’s face it: mental health conditions, including depression and anxiety, are still viewed differently from other medical conditions. We can unconsciously absorb negative views of mental health conditions. When we’re ashamed of those conditions, we may deny that we have that condition, or avoid getting help. However, apps tend to “gamify” evidence based interventions.  When we’re on our phones, using an app like we do any other, we start to think of our depression and anxiety as any other aspect of our health. 5.  They’re inexpensive Apps are inexpensive when you consider how much you spend: A) on your favorite hobbies B) on almost any other line item in your budget. I’ll give you an example.  I tend to eat out at least once or twice a week.  It’s hard to find meals that are less than $6 per meal these days. So…. $12 per week times (conservatively) 50 weeks equals (yikes!) $600 per year! At the most, the apps I’ve presented in this article charge between $100 and $150 per year. And a Bonus: They’re based on research about what works to reduce anxiety. These anxiety apps are based on cognitive behavior therapy and mindfulness and meditation. 5 Anxiety Apps You Can Use Today Mindshift I love this app! Reviews I’ve read say it seems to be aimed more at kids, teens, and young adults. But I’ve found that materials written for younger audiences make concepts easier to understand. MindShift will help you learn how to relax, develop more helpful ways of thinking, and find active steps that will help you take charge of your anxiety. This app includes strategies to deal with everyday anxiety, as well as specific tools to tackle: Test Anxiety Perfectionism Social Anxiety Performance Anxiety Worry Panic Conflict Think of MindShift as your portable coach helping you face challenging situations and take charge of your life. source: AnxietyBC MindShift has subsections, including: Anxiety 101 (an overview about anxiety, the anxiety triangle, where it comes from, what you can do about it, and how to overcome your fear) Quick Tips (Feeling anxious?  Need help fast?  Use these quick tips to get back on track.) Thinking Right Chill Out Tools Active Steps Inspiration (Inspirational Quotes) Cost:  Get it for free on iOS and Android. One drawback is that it crashes every once in a while.  But, for a free app, I’ll take that drawback! AnxietyBC SAM This app is said to be targeted to older teens and adults, but it seems to be as easily understood as MindShift. The app was designed in collaboration with the University of the West of England and MyOxygen in Bristol, England. Sections include: Working With SAM (how to use it) Help for anxiety NOW (working through a panic attack) How’s my anxiety right now (rating your anxiety helps you gain self-awareness) Self-help with SAM (information about anxiety, thinking and anxiety, how to relax, how to take care of your health, and small steps to manage your anxiety) Things that make me anxious (identifying your triggers) My anxiety toolkit (you can take notes about different resources and techniques that particularly help you manage your anxiety) Anxiety tracker (keep track of your anxiety over time) Social cloud (here is where other users post their ideas for managing anxiety) Cost:  SAM is available for free on both iOS and Android devices Breathe2Relax A simple, intuitive, and attractive mobile app designed by the National Center for Telehealth & Technology to teach breathing techniques to manage stress. The skills taught may be applied to those with anxiety disorders, stress, and PTSD. This app can be personalized to an individual’s pace that the user finds relaxing; includes a video demo, reading materials, and charts to map personal progress. Helpful for self-starters or those working with a therapist to include breathing techniques in their overall treatment. source: Anxiety and Depression Association of America Cost: Free on iTunes or Android Calm   I’ve been using calm for at least three years now. I use the free version, and I’ve felt some of the following scientific benefits of meditation made easy: increased brain function increased self control increased happiness If you don’t have a SmartPhone, you can go to Calm.com and use the web-based program. Several of the meditation tracks within the app are free, and they’re the only ones I use. But I’m considering the paid version, which comes out to about $9.99 per month if paid monthly, or a cheaper annual rate of $3.33 per month (or $39.99). The paid version gives you access to the Children’s version that will teach mindfulness skills to your children, and many other programs. Get it on iTunes or Android  Optimism I just downloaded Optimism today after researching apps for this article.  The app doesn’t target anxiety per se, but rather your overall wellness. It’s a way to remind ourselves of healthy mental health habits. The app is Free (but available on iOS only) Get Started Today!  I downloaded each of these apps in the last week. You don’t have to use every one.  Just open each one, play around with it, discard the ones you don’t like, and keep the ones you do. Try to use at least one of the apps daily until it becomes a habit. You’ll find that your anxiety will thank you! Other articles about anxiety apps to read: 14 Amazing Apps For Anyone Living With Anxiety 12 Must-Download Apps That Will Calm Your Anxiety 5 Apps To Help You Deal With Anxiety 14 Apps To Help You Manage Your Anxiety Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Mental Health Apps Image Credits: from 14 Amazing Apps, iTunes Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show? Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Do you enjoy this podcast? Become a Patron of the Thrive With Aspergers Podcast! Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Please leave a review on iTunes! How to leave an iTunes rating or review for a podcast from your iPhone or iPad Launch Apple’s Podcast app. Tap the Search tab. Enter the name of the podcast you want to rate or review. Tap the blue Search key at the bottom right. Tap the album art for the podcast. Tap the Reviews tab. Tap Write a Review at the bottom. Your positive reviews will help drive awareness of the podcast so that many more can see it! The post TWAP036: 5 Reasons To Love The New Anxiety Apps appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

Autism.  Aspergers.  And Self Acceptance. You’ve just found out you might be autistic or Aspergian. Or you’re in the process of finding out. What does that mean to you? In today’s episode, Philip Wylie talks about the 4th, 5th, and 6th degrees of autism the book, The 9 Degrees of Autism. Philip, himself an Aspergian, didn’t find out he was on the spectrum until he was in his early 50’s. He’s been through a lot and has much to teach you and me about the journey toward self-acceptance.   Related articles across the web TWAP033: The Nine Degrees of Autism Free symposium on autism, neuroscience and perceptual thinking TWAP034: Aspieology – Dating Online, Or Not! Autistic Teen Writes Touching Letter About Autism Related articles across the web The post TWAP035: What Philip Wylie Can Teach You About Self Acceptance appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.

Dating online. It can be exhausting!  That’s what Reg, founder of Aspieology.com, found out. Himself Aspergian, he thought long and hard. With his experience in designing websites, he thought, “There’s got to be a better way for Aspergians to meet each other.” And Aspieology was born. Today’s Guest Reg, founder of Aspieology.com, a dating site by an Aspergian for Aspergians. Website: https://www.aspieology.com/ Contact: founderguy@aspieology.com You’ll Learn What inspired Reg, an Aspersion, to create a dating site for Aspergians Why Reg gave up on dating to build Aspieology.com instead Why Aspieology is a great place to make friends, even if you’re not interested in dating. How Aspieology is similar to, yet different from WrongPlanet.net How Reg keeps Aspieology free of trolls and bullies Reg’s journey of discovering he is on the spectrum The Aspieology Type Quiz Many other great features of Aspieology The Aspieology Aspergers Resource Page Dating online doesn’t have to be a chore –  sign up today for free at Aspieology.com! Join the Conversation What topics would you most like covered on the show?  Who would you like me to interview? Share you answer in the comments below or Ask me a question via my Contact Page. Also, please leave an honest review for The Thrive with Aspergers Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and I read each one of them. Do you enjoy this podcast?  Subscribe to the Thrive with Aspergers Podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, or RSS Consider supporting the podcast via our Patreon page! The post TWAP034: Aspieology – Dating Online, Or Not! appeared first on Thrive With Aspergers.