Things You Learn in Therapy

Send us Fan Mail Burnout doesn’t always show up as collapse. Sometimes it shows up as competence that never turns off, a brain that can’t tolerate quiet, and a calendar packed with “necessary” things that somehow never end. Marie Sloane, LPC, joins us to name what so many people are living right now: life moves fast, but recovery moves slower, and that mismatch is exhausting. We talk about why time can feel warped in a world of constant stimulation, and why boredom has become strangely hard for both kids and adults. From there, we get practical about self-care strategies that work in real life, not influencer life. We break down the guilt loop of “I should be doing something else,” the all-or-nothing trap that makes people quit, and a simple framework we love: small daily actions that remove a few “pebbles” from the heavy backpack you carry every day. We also go deeper into trauma-informed therapy insights, especially overfunctioning. We unpack how overfunctioning can start as a survival skill, then get rewarded by work culture and relationships until it becomes physically and emotionally unsustainable. If you’ve ever felt selfish for having needs, or you only feel safe when you’re producing, this conversation will land. We close with ways to plan for obstacles before motivation disappears, including accountability and community support that keeps self-care from becoming another broken promise. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with someone who’s running on fumes, and leave a review so more people can find these burnout recovery tools. This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: Podcast Application Form Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail Friendship advice for kids is everywhere. The harder question is what our children learn from the friendships they see us live. In this CEV crossover episode, we dig into adult friendship as a parenting model: how we prioritize people, how we handle conflict or hurt, and how our everyday choices quietly teach kids what “healthy relationships” actually look like. We also get honest about a common reality: many kids rarely see their parents with friends, especially as schedules fill up and social time gets squeezed out. So we talk through practical, appropriate ways to give kids a lens into adult connection without oversharing, including how to share friendship stories, values, and lessons before a problem hits. Then we shift to the real-world challenge of making friends as an adult. When kids’ activities slow down, the easy pathways disappear, and “put yourself out there” can feel intimidating. We share doable steps: start with the people already near you, choose one small way to invest, say yes more often, and use community spaces like a public library, the YMCA, volunteering, or helping at a school. And if loneliness or anxiety is making connection feel out of reach, we name when it makes sense to talk with a therapist or your doctor, because social connection matters for mental health. Subscribe for more practical parenting conversations, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with your best tip for building adult friendships. This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: Podcast Application Form Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail The hardest part of teaching kids honesty is that we want truth and we also want peace, and those two don’t always arrive together. In this crossover episode with Core Essentials, we explore integrity, and we define it in the most practical way possible: being truthful in your words and in your actions. Leslie Bolser and psychologist Dr. Beth Trammell talk through what that looks like in real family life, from the tiny lies of early childhood to the higher-stakes half-truths that can show up in middle school and the teen years. We get honest about why kids lie in the first place. For young children, lying can be a simple survival strategy: it feels easier than facing trouble or discomfort. Rather than treating every lie like a character flaw, we focus on calm, consistent coaching that protects the parent-child connection while still holding the line on family values. The goal is to plant seeds of integrity that grow over time, not demand perfect truth-telling from a four-year-old who is still learning cause, effect, and consequences. Then we move into the real gut-check for many parents: when older kids lie and it actually hurts. Dr. Trammell explains why your first reaction when a child admits something hard can increase or decrease future honesty. We also talk about modeling integrity as adults, including those “blurry line” moments where we rationalize small dishonesties, and how repair can be one of the strongest integrity lessons you ever teach. You’ll leave with concrete language, a more empathetic lens, and a long-view mindset for building trust. If this helps, subscribe, share it with a parent friend, and leave a review so more families can find these tools. What’s one situation where you want to respond with more calm the next time truth shows up? This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: Podcast Application Form Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail Two days before Mya leaves for college, the countdown gets real. We sit down as mom and daughter and try to say what’s actually true under all the logistics: stress, hope, anxiety, and that weird denial that shows up when you still haven’t packed. Using a feelings wheel sounds simple, but it changes the tone fast because you can’t problem-solve what you won’t name. Then we go practical with budgeting for college students. We talk meal plans, coffee runs, fast food stops, Target temptations, and the moment your budget collides with your social life. We role-play the “everyone’s going out” scenario and unpack the harder question behind it: how do you stay connected without spending like belonging has a price tag? We also wrestle with the savings-versus-stress tradeoff, and how to make a choice and actually enjoy it instead of replaying it all day. From there we shift into Clifton Strengths and a coaching conversation with a Gallup certified strengths coach. Mya’s top strength, Woo (winning others over), sparks a bigger hope for college: classmates aren’t strangers, they’re friends she hasn’t met yet. We connect Woo with Harmony, Consistency, Includer, and Communication, and talk about how strengths can help teens build community, handle conflict, and feel confident in a new season. Finally, we face the goodbye and share a few gifts, including a lighthouse reminder that home stays steady while you learn to sail. We also introduce a simple journal practice, “Growing Together, Apart,” built for short daily reflection instead of endless scrolling. If you’re navigating a college transition, a parent-child relationship shift, or just trying to do the next right thing with money and emotions, this conversation is for you. Subscribe, share with a family who needs it, and leave a review with one thing that helped you feel ready-ish. This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: Podcast Application Form Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail College transition advice usually starts with boxes and bedding, but the bigger shift is emotional. Mya and I talk about what it really feels like to leave for college: the grief of changing high school friendships, the fear of disappointing people you love, and the guilt that can creep in when you start building new relationships on campus. If you’ve ever worried that moving forward means leaving someone behind, we name that pressure and offer a clearer truth to hold onto: growth is not betrayal. We also dig into the everyday moments where this gets complicated. What happens when your high school friends plan a weekend get-together and your new college friends do too? How do you choose when you can’t be present in every part of your old life and your new life? We talk about “your best yes” and why every yes requires a no, especially during freshman year when your time, energy, and attention are suddenly limited. Then we get practical with college preparation strategies that actually reduce stress: reading the syllabus before the first class, organizing notes and documents by class, planning exams and travel conflicts early, and using tools like Canvas and calendars to stay ahead. We share study techniques like handwriting notes, studying in smaller chunks over time, and the underrated skill of asking professors how they want you to prepare. We also break down how office hours work, what to do in big lecture classes, and how TAs can help you get unstuck before you feel overwhelmed. If you’re preparing for college or helping a student get ready, this one is a steadying listen. Subscribe for the next conversation, share this with a student who needs it, and leave a quick review if it helped you rethink what it takes to start well. This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: Podcast Application Form Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail The college countdown can feel like one long shopping trip, but we know the real transition is way messier and far more meaningful. I sit down with my daughter, Mya, as she gets ready to leave for college and play volleyball, and we talk through the parts people don’t always say out loud: what it’s like to share a tiny dorm, how a roommate dynamic can shift from “teammate” to “cohabiting humans,” and why small irritations become big problems when nobody is willing to name them. We also get personal about homesickness, FOMO, and the strange emotional math of loving your hometown while still wanting something new. Maya describes that punch-in-the-stomach feeling of seeing friends together on social media while you’re away, and we talk about how to hold two truths at once: grief for what you’re leaving and excitement for what you’re building. For parents and students alike, we dig into communication expectations, staying connected without hovering, and why pushing through early discomfort can help freshman year feel less overwhelming. Then we shift into college academics and practical study skills: organization with a new schedule, note-taking strategies, why cramming doesn’t stick, and how small study blocks build real retention over time. I share professor-side advice you can use immediately, like reading the syllabus like a roadmap, showing up to class even when you think it “doesn’t matter,” going to office hours to build relationships, and learning netiquette so your emails sound professional when it counts. If you’re preparing for college, parenting a soon-to-be freshman, or just want a grounded guide to the emotional and academic realities of the transition, hit play. Subscribe, share this with a student or parent who needs it, and leave a review. What’s the one part of college you wish someone had prepared you for? This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: Podcast Application Form Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail OCD in kids can hide in plain sight and it rarely looks like the stereotypes. If you’ve ever watched your child get stuck on a “not right” feeling, repeat a question for reassurance, or redo a routine until it clicks, you already know how confusing and exhausting it can be for the whole family. We sit down with licensed clinical social worker Sierra Dator to translate what’s really happening in the OCD cycle, using clear language parents can actually use at home. We break down obsessive compulsive disorder into its two moving parts: obsessions (sticky, intrusive thoughts) and compulsions (the actions or mental rituals that bring short-term relief). A big focus is the stuff you can’t see, like internal checking, mental counting, and quiet rituals that keep parents guessing. We also draw a practical line between generalized anxiety and OCD, including why OCD thoughts can feel stranger, more random, and harder to dismiss, and why giving the pattern a name can reduce shame instead of creating it. From assessment tools like the Yale-Brown checklist to the treatment that works best, we get specific about exposure and response prevention (ERP therapy), why it’s considered the gold standard for pediatric OCD, and what it looks like when you’re pacing ERP for a child’s development. We also talk about parents as part of the process, how progress can “snowball” once one symptom shifts, and why early intervention can keep OCD from getting entrenched over the years. If you know a parent who’s quietly worried, share this with them, then subscribe and leave a review so more families can find evidence-based OCD help. This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: Podcast Application Form Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail The fastest way to turn pickup time into a power struggle is to start with a checklist: seatbelt, behavior report, homework, chores, questions, questions, questions. If you’ve ever watched your kid shut down the second they get in the car, we get it and there’s a better first move. I’m Dr. Beth Trammell, a licensed psychologist, and I’m sharing one of my favorite tools for improving child behavior without raising your voice: pairing. Pairing is a simple, ABA-informed strategy that helps parents and teachers build connection on purpose so kids are more willing to follow directions later. We break down what pairing is (and what it isn’t), why kids often experience “How was your day?” as pressure, and how small moments of warmth can lower frustration for everyone. You’ll hear exactly when to use pairing (the first 15 seconds to two minutes after being apart), what to avoid during that window (commands and rapid-fire questions), and what to say instead. We also talk through easy scripts, morning and after-school routines, and quick connection options like a smile, a compliment, a hug, or a fist bump to create the psychological safety that makes cooperation more likely. If you try this connection-first approach, share what changes for your family or classroom. Subscribe, share this with a parent or teacher who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find the show. Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail The moment you ask for something small a knock before entering, a little privacy, a basic respect and the conversation somehow ends with you apologizing, you are not “too sensitive.” We dig into why interactions with emotionally immature parents and other emotionally immature people can feel so disorienting, especially for adult children of dysfunctional families carrying complex trauma. When your nervous system has learned that needs lead to backlash, even healthy boundaries can feel like danger. We talk through what emotional immaturity looks like in real life, how it differs from temporary emotional regression, and why repair and accountability are the dividing line. Then we name a pattern many listeners recognize instantly: DARVO (deny, attack, reverse victim and offender). When DARVO shows up, reality gets rewritten, guilt gets weaponized, and you leave the conversation wondering if you’re crazy, cruel, or selfish for wanting something reasonable. From there, we move into the healing fantasy, the relentless hope that if you find the perfect words, do enough caretaking, or become “mature enough,” they will finally see you and change. We explore how that childhood survival strategy can follow us into adult relationships and identity, and what it looks like to grieve the fantasy without falling into despair. We also answer a big question: how do you stop being defined by your trauma without denying your story? That’s where inner child work, parts work (including IFS-informed approaches), and somatic therapy can help you integrate what happened and reclaim your true self beyond the role you had to play. If you’ve been asking, “How long will this take?” we hold that honestly while still ending in something solid: real hope and real change are possible. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs language for what they’re living, and leave a review. What part of this conversation hits closest to home for you? Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail Trauma doesn’t have to be catastrophic to be real and “it wasn’t bad enough” might be the most common thought that keeps people from getting help. We sit down with Scott E. Stolarick, LCPC, CCTP, a trauma-informed therapist and the owner of Mosaic Pathway Counseling, to unpack why trauma isn’t a competition and why two people can live through the same moment and walk away with completely different nervous system responses. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re overreacting, whether you should just get over it, or whether therapy is “for people with bigger problems,” this conversation is for you.  We talk about how validation works in trauma therapy and why so many clients come in hoping a professional will “rate” their experience. Scott offers a grounded reframe: you’re the author of your story, and your internal reaction deserves attention even when outsiders don’t understand it. We also explore how disclosure is shaped by the responses people get from family, partners, and communities, especially when the trauma is sexual abuse or another topic that gets minimized, doubted, or brushed aside.  Then we get practical about EMDR therapy, a trauma treatment modality that can feel more structured than traditional talk therapy. We cover informed consent, readiness, why EMDR can move quickly, and why the therapist’s role is often to create safety and then get out of the way so your mind and body can process. We close with one of the most underrated tools in healing: repair, accountability, and honest feedback inside the therapy relationship.  If this helped you name something you’ve been carrying, subscribe for more, share this episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find trauma-informed mental health conversations. This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6 Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail Summer doesn’t need to be a “go with the flow” free-for-all to be fun. I’m Dr. Beth Trammell, and I’m sharing a simple, therapy-informed way to plan a season that actually matches your life: your work schedule, your home projects, your relationships, and the kind of rest you want to feel when fall arrives. We start with practical goal setting that works. If your goals sound like “work out more” or “drink more water,” they’re probably too vague to stick. I talk through how to make goals specific, how to keep them realistic based on where you’re starting, and why aiming too high often leads to quitting two weeks later. We also get honest about setbacks. Summer is full of obstacles, from parties and family reunions to ice cream stops and buffet tables, so we plan strategies before temptation shows up. Then we shift to parenting and summer routines for kids. Summer has a different rhythm than the school year, but kids still benefit from structure, clear expectations, and simple routines. I share a real example from my own home, including a daily checklist with creativity time, reading, thinking time, movement, together time, and hydration. We wrap with an important topic that can save you a lot of stress later: maintaining a consistent sleep-wake cycle so the return to school doesn’t become a painful reset. If you want a calmer, more intentional summer without overplanning it, listen now. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a review so more people can find the show. **Replay from 2024 This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6 Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail Grief can feel like a private storm, but it’s also one of the most universal experiences we share and it doesn’t only arrive after a death. I sit down with licensed professional counselor and advanced grief counseling specialist Jillian Oetting to name the kinds of loss that often get ignored: anticipatory grief with dementia or terminal illness, disenfranchised grief after pregnancy loss or infertility, ambiguous loss in estrangement or addiction, and the identity grief that can follow career shifts or postpartum change. We also challenge the idea that grief has a clean finish line. Jillian shares a powerful “rock in your pocket” metaphor: the rock doesn’t shrink, but you grow around it, and grief bursts can still surprise you years later. From there, we dig into grief counseling frameworks that feel realistic, including the dual process model of moving between loss-oriented coping and restoration-oriented coping, plus the tasks of mourning that focus on accepting reality, processing pain, adjusting to a changed world, and finding an enduring connection through meaning making. Then we make it practical for real relationships. We talk about what to say when you’re afraid of saying the wrong thing, why platitudes like “everything happens for a reason” can land as dismissal, and why “let me know what you need” often adds pressure. Jillian offers concrete, caring alternatives: bring food, handle a small household task, keep showing up months later, and keep saying the person’s name so love and memory can keep breathing. If someone you love is grieving or you are carrying your own rock, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review. What’s one supportive sentence you wish people would say more often? Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail Success can be a brilliant strategy and a brutal one. When you’re wired for performance, you can push through pain, outwork exhaustion, and even “do therapy” like it’s another assignment. But what happens when the grind starts costing you sleep, intimacy, health, and the ability to feel anything at all? We sit down with Dr. Akua K. Boateng to unpack the high achiever mindset and the emotional blind spots it can create. We talk about harmony instead of balance, why harmony has no metric, and how surrendering the constant striving can bring you back to a grounded center that’s already there. We also explore how ambition can operate as a defense or even a trauma response, making slowing down feel like a threat rather than relief. From a therapist’s perspective, we get practical: why high performers can excel at CBT homework while still avoiding emotional discovery, how to work collaboratively without getting dazzled by proficiency, and when it helps to name the neuroscience in real time (amygdala activation, chronic limbic override, prefrontal cortex coming back online). We also zoom in on body-based signals like insomnia, high blood pressure, fatigue, forgetfulness, and volatility as early “micro-fractures” worth investigating before everything collapses. If you’re a high performing professional, caregiver, athlete, or leader who’s quietly cracking, this conversation offers language and strategies for emotional wellness without losing your edge. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with the biggest “that’s me” moment you heard. This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6 Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail One small request can feel like a breaking point when you’ve already been carrying too much and you’re not sure where the extra capacity is supposed to come from. We sit with that exact moment, the “I’m quitting everything” feeling, and unpack why it shows up for so many people across work, parenting, relationships, and caregiving. When overwhelm hits, it’s rarely about the final task. It’s about the invisible load behind it. Our guest, therapist and private practice owner Jacque Tyrrell, helps us name the hidden cost of constant adjusting: the emotional energy it takes to pivot, replan, brace for outcomes, and regulate fear over and over again. We also talk about how quickly we label that internal work as “rumination,” and how reframing it can replace shame with compassion. If you’ve ever wondered why a “tiny” detail like a school form can trigger tears, this conversation offers a grounded explanation that actually fits real life. We also keep it honest about privilege and access. Not everyone can outsource tasks or carve out time for ideal self-care, and advice that ignores that can feel like one more demand. We share practical strategies that scale: delegating where you can, communicating what’s realistic, sorting tasks by urgency, loosening perfectionism, and choosing one next step instead of ten. If you’re tired of hustle culture telling you to push harder, this episode offers a better question: what do you have the capacity for right now? If this resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who’s carrying a lot, and leave a review so more listeners can find the show. What’s the “one more thing” that feels like too much lately? This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6 Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send us Fan Mail Therapy collaboration gets praised constantly, yet most people never hear what it actually costs, what it risks, and what it can unlock for clients when it’s done with care. I sit down with Essence and Emily Deming-Rivers, two married licensed psychologists who collaborate inside the same practice, to talk through the real mechanics of integrated care: trust, confidentiality, informed consent, and the daily choices that keep therapy ethical and human. We dig into why collaboration feels easier in residential treatment settings and why it can get messy in private practice. They name the practical barriers most clinicians feel but rarely say out loud: non-billable coordination time, financial pressure, and the fear that collaboration turns colleagues into competitors. From there we get concrete about how they do it differently, including transparent conversations with clients, asking permission before consulting, and even inviting the other therapist into a session for one targeted concept when it genuinely improves treatment. Because they live and work together, they also share what happens when client crises hit and both partners carry the weight, plus the boundaries that protect their relationship and their clinical judgment. We talk about ethics as guardrails rather than handcuffs, why “playing telephone” can steal growth from clients, and how their combined perspectives support couples and families navigating ADHD differences, chronic illness, LGBTQ identity, and other intersectional realities. We close with where you can find them at Customized Behavioral Health Care and their organizational consulting work at Deming River Social Club focused on psychologically safe workplace culture. If you care about better therapy outcomes, sustainable mental health work, and collaboration that doesn’t compromise consent, hit subscribe, share this with a colleague, and leave a review. What boundary or collaboration practice has helped you most? This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6 Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send a text Most of us were taught to talk about emotions with the same six words, then we wonder why conflict keeps repeating and connection feels hard. I sit down with licensed marriage and family therapist Tatiana Rojas to slow the whole thing down and get practical: what’s the difference between emotions, feelings, and moods, and why does that difference change the way we communicate, parent, and handle stress? We dig into how emotions show up as fast body-based signals, how feelings are the labels and meanings we attach, and how moods can linger like emotional weather. Tatiana shares why vague language can sabotage relationships (like saying “I want to feel loved” but not being able to name belonging, nurture, or being seen), and why mislabeling what’s happening often leads to reactions that feel “out of nowhere” like shutting down, snapping, people pleasing, or numbing out. We also talk parenting and partnerships: how to model emotional vocabulary out loud, how to ask better check-in questions, and why reflective listening can help more than advice. One of my favorite takeaways is simple but powerful: having an emotion doesn’t mean you have to fix it, and it definitely doesn’t have to become your identity. If you want more emotional intelligence, clearer communication, and realistic emotion regulation tools you can use today, hit play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who “is fine,” and leave a review so more people can find the show. This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6 Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send a text Want your desire back without pretending you’re who you were at 22? We sit down with therapist and sex therapist Brooke Bray Love to unpack how midlife women can rekindle pleasure by changing the script—less waiting to feel “spontaneous,” more creating conditions where desire can actually show up. Brooke brings two decades of clinical experience and a candid voice to topics most people still whisper about, from scheduling sex to why clitoral stimulation isn’t optional for most women. We explore the big shift from spontaneous to responsive desire and why planning “sexy time” is a sign of care, not failure. Brooke breaks down practical tools—lube for hormonal changes, vibrators as legitimate aids, erotica for mental priming—and reframes “owning your orgasm” as the fastest route to confidence and clear communication. If penetration-only sex leaves you cold, you’re not broken; the data says expand your menu. We also talk about how to build a transition ritual that guides your nervous system from stress to sensual, using breathwork, bilateral stimulation, and mindful touch to create safety and arousal. The conversation goes deeper into fantasies, polarity, and parts work: how strong, capable women can crave softness or submission without betraying themselves, and why fantasy is a laboratory for balance, not a contract to act. We offer a simple activity consensus tool to find overlap in desires, so you can try one aligned novelty at a time. And because culture starts at home, we share how to talk to kids about accurate body terms, consent as an ongoing process, masturbation without shame, and ethical context for porn—moving from fear to education. If you’re ready to trade scripts that center someone else’s pleasure for a life that centers your own, this is your roadmap. Listen, pick one small shift, and watch what changes. If this resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review telling us the one myth you’re dropping today. This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6 Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send a text Ever find yourself thinking, “Why are we here again?” when a familiar argument fires up? We dig into the hidden patterns that run your relationship on autopilot, and we show how to replace blame with growth by building emotional safety first. With Liz—an Emotionally Focused Therapy clinician, supervisor, and group practice owner—we trace the domino effect inside conflict: the trigger, the quick reaction, the story each partner tells, and the feeling that never gets airtime. Once you can see the cycle, you can change your move without abandoning your needs. We talk about big blind spots—like alcohol misuse or compulsive behaviors—that can implode trust, and the smaller, daily misses that quietly erode connection. Think “I statements” used as weapons, reassurance that dismisses, and punctuality or tidiness becoming proof of whether someone cares. Intention and impact often split. You might mean to soothe but end up silencing; you might defend to be understood and accidentally trigger more defense. Liz explains how EFT creates emotional safety so partners can own their part without shame, validate the positive intention beneath clumsy behavior, and practice softer starts, clearer asks, and better repairs. We also go behind the scenes on how therapists learn: why watching tape beats memory, how supervisors must create safety for honest growth, and why bringing your “worst” moments is the fastest path to skill. For couples, we challenge the wait-until-crisis mindset with a better frame—treat relationship learning as a developmental task. Start early, map your cycle, and build a foundation where differences are tolerable and care is unmistakable. If you’re ready to swap autopilot for awareness and align your intentions with your impact, this conversation offers practical language, hopeful frameworks, and next steps you can try today. Subscribe, share with a friend who’d appreciate a nudge toward growth, and leave a review with the one pattern you plan to tackle this week. This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6 Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send a text Start with joy, stay for the honesty. We open with a decades-strong book club that thrives on simple rules—one host, one book, one clean bathroom—and use it as a living example of how small, consistent structures create deep connection. That same clarity shows up in therapy: reliability, presence and a shared space where stories can land without judgment. Michele Mani, a registered psychotherapist and clinical supervisor from Ontario, joins the show to explore the real work behind the work—how clinicians find flow, protect their energy and choose careers that move with the current instead of against it. Together, we name the quiet privileges of the therapy room and the real weight it can carry. We talk about normalizing the “unsaid” that so many clients bring—loneliness in long-term relationships, fear about the world, grief that lingers—and why gratitude and humility steady us when the job feels heavy. For therapists, there’s a candid look at strengths-based practice: reframing “weaknesses” as non-dominant strengths, designing days around your zone of genius, and building practical systems for notes, goals and continuity so presence can lead the hour. If spreadsheets drain you and client work fuels you, this is a blueprint for sustainable practice. An AMA question from a non-therapist adds a powerful turn: how do you help someone who believes therapy can’t help? We unpack a compassionate response—honor the hopelessness without arguing, then open the tiniest door to change, a “finger of possibility.” No promises, no pressure. Just one fully present session to test what connection can do. That blend of simple structure, honest strengths, and light-held hope turns out to be useful everywhere—around a dinner table, across a therapy screen, and inside a life that wants to move forward without burning out. If this conversation resonates, share it with a friend, send us your AMA questions, and follow the show so you never miss Part Two. Your review helps more people find a little structure, a little hope and a lot of heart. This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6 Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show www.bethtrammell.com

Send a text Forget the checklist of letters and numbers. The real predictor of a strong start to school is whether a child feels safe, can settle their body, and can use words to get their needs met. We walk through a practical, research-aligned way to rethink kindergarten readiness so families spend time on what actually moves the needle in a real classroom. Across the conversation, we share what teachers see every fall: kids who manage frustration, follow group directions, and handle transitions learn more, faster. We break readiness into five clear pillars—emotion regulation, communication, relationship skills, independence, and adult alignment—and show how each one shows up in daily routines like lining up, circle time, sharing materials, and cleaning up. Instead of vague advice, you’ll hear precise language you can use today: “You’re having a big feeling. Let’s figure this out together,” and “I can’t understand you when you’re whining. Try again with your calm voice.” These scripts validate emotion, set limits, and teach self-control without a power struggle. We also dig into the messy middle of behavior change. Training works, but it takes repetition and accountability. Expect pushback when you stop rewarding whining or avoidance, and hold steady with predictable phrases and calm follow-through. Then we zoom out to the most overlooked piece of readiness: adult alignment. When home and school use consistent words and expectations, kids spend less effort decoding the rules and more effort learning letters, sounds, and early math. That consistency is the hidden efficiency that turns small daily wins into lasting confidence. Looking for structure before August? We preview an eight-week Make Words Matter Kindergarten Readiness Framework that centers regulation, communication, and adult consistency to help families build these skills step by step. If you’re preparing a rising kindergartner—or supporting one at school—this conversation offers clear priorities, usable scripts, and a kinder, smarter roadmap to the first day. Subscribe, share with a caregiver or teacher, and leave a review telling us which script you’ll try this week. This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area. If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6 Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com Support the show www.bethtrammell.com