Toasted Arpeggio Podcast

So here, we are! Another volume tanned!! In this bumper curtain closer we hear about Chris going to the racing in his special bookies jaikit. Super Glue is invented whilst watching a film wi nae music in it! Listener Pish brings us some proper darkness and we give a shout out to our mum's who don't like the swearing. TAP Local takes to the worlds of hair pizza, bitcoin on the cheap and pointless stinking old logs. We've got TAP News, Toap Bits and Jean & John delve into Willy Wonka's confectionery laden classic. We'll be back shortly, git sharing in the meantime!!! xx

BAN IT, GIT IT BANNED!!!  Welcome to the penultimate episode of the season, it's they one "they" tried to ban...... This week we talk scabies anonymous and Cambridge Analytica. Free speech gets kicked into the long grass and we follow up with sordid tales of being barred from places. Gardens get robbed and we encourage you to drink water. TAP Local deals with something of a crime wave, TAP News looks at a fallen hero and Listener Pish brings you cunty traits. Take the blue pill and enjoy that Scottish Takeaway even more.... x

IT’S LIKE AN ICE BOAX OOT THERE!!!!! Well it was when we recorded this, so settle in and relive the "Breeze from the South West" with us as we discuss breed….. and mulk. And spider teeth Have you ever seen the vape of the future? Russell has, and it tastes of liver and onions. Craig changes the world one CD at a time and Chris gets in aboot a piece on hair fingers….. and that's just for starters. We bring you a new bit this week…… TAP Local, where we dive into the wonderful world of local Facebook pages…. Dinnae miss it. x

We're back!! And it's a hinging stinking back......... This week we chat inclement weather survival and how to get ahead with Steradent. Craig buys a tent whilst the world goes nuts over Scotland's now sugar free national drink. TAP News brings us a grim tale of industrial freezer escape using edible blood products and we research the new craze where kids get wild with detergent. Netflix Pitches sees John-Paul reaching new heights and Jean and John go full Rom Com with their movie moments. Dive in!! xx

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Here's yer big bumper TAP selection boax for you to lie back and enjoy when you've had enough of shite telly. We've got Secret Santa, we go LIVE to Jean and John's where the atmosphere is typically festive. TAP News takes us on a flight of festive fancy and this weeks TAP Tin, whilst nothing to do with Christmas, throws up a surprise. Talking of throwing up, Netflix Pitches returns with John Paul in less than fine fettle. Arsehole of a laddie. Jesus questions returns with 3 new saviour enquiries. Happy birthday big man. From all of us here at TAP Towers, Merry Xmas and thanks for tuning in. We are the world, we are the children. xx

IT'S THE LAST YIN AFORE SANTA!!! This episode we talk Bitcoin, the mysterious crypto-dough from Mars. Animal Questions takes us from an empty planet to iron lungs in the baths. TAP News goes time travel, as do Jean & John in yet another Mark Kermode threatening Movie Moments. We draw our secret Santa names and go all festive for Listener Pish....... Just before tucking into this week's tin. Pass me that gallon of water will you? REMEMBER: You can contact us on Twitter, Facebook AND the fancy emails with Listener Pish questions and TAP News stories if you have one of those new "home computers". x

So here's yer bumper Black Friday special!! Chris has been on holiday, AGAIN, so we get to the "bottom" of his torrid adventure. Have you ever been to Centre Parsse? No, well come inside and try out the knuckle destroying pastime of the future! We explore luxury advent calendars, clones, Greggs sausage Jesus and tight shorts. And if that's not enough, Jean & John review E.T. and we try this weeks TAP Tin which is mock duck......... Mock. Duck. Cheers Craig. x

So here's yer bumper Black Friday special!! Chris has been on holiday, AGAIN, so we get to the "bottom" of his torrid adventure. Have you ever been to Centre Parsse? No, well come inside and try out the knuckle destroying pastime of the future! We explore luxury advent calendars, clones, Greggs sausage Jesus and tight shorts. And if that's not enough, Jean & John review E.T. and we try this weeks TAP Tin which is mock duck......... Mock. Duck. Cheers Craig. x

MEN MEN MEN, F**CKING C**T MEN....... But that's not all! We've got TAP Tins, TAP Tips, TAP News and our brand new bit, Jean & John's Movie Moments where this week, our beloved couple discuss a certain classic shark movie...... Not to be missed! We also look at hairy barber buffets, guising and boaby talk, as well as share our pish phone blues and discuss the South Pole and multiple shoes..... It's a jam packed yin. Grab a fork and dive in! x

MEN MEN MEN, F**CKING C**T MEN....... But that's not all! We've got TAP Tins, TAP Tips, TAP News and our brand new bit, Jean & John's Movie Moments where this week, our beloved couple discuss a certain classic shark movie...... Not to be missed! We also look at hairy barber buffets, guising and boaby talk, as well as share our pish phone blues and discuss the South Pole and multiple shoes..... It's a jam packed yin. Grab a fork and dive in! x

There was a podcast-shaped hole in our lives when it all ended. But all it takes is a phone call to let people know how you really feel... WE'VE MOVED OVER TO AUDIOBOOM! - https://audioboom.com/channels/4931755

Halloween is special so join us for this special Halloween special where eerie camp-side stories are shared over horrific tinned deserts. Everything contained within this podcast is best before December 2020. GIT IT EATEN!!!!

Halloween is special so join us for this special Halloween special where eerie camp-side stories are shared over horrific tinned deserts. Everything contained within this podcast is best before December 2020. GIT IT EATEN!!!!

We're BACK!!! It's like we've never been away............ We'll not go into the contents here, just dive in, there's more jaggy edges than a Roses tub filled tae bursting wi smashed crabs!!

We're BACK!!! It's like we've never been away............ We'll not go into the contents here, just dive in, there's more jaggy edges than a Roses tub filled tae bursting wi smashed crabs!!

There was a podcast-shaped hole in our lives when it all ended. But all it takes is a phone call to let people know how you really feel...

There was a podcast-shaped hole in our lives when it all ended. But all it takes is a phone call to let people know how you really feel...

THE LAST EVER EPISODE!! It's with a heavy heart and a heavier colon that we bid farewell to TAPcast forever but NEVER FEAR, we'll be back........ with something new..... somewhere else....... (somewhere exciting) We're leaving you with a BUMPER show, our longest ever and it's bursting with favourites old and new. Listener Pish brings us a Trans Atlantic question on tv torture and we chat school janny business and serving slop to bairns. TAP Tips makes a last gasp return which leads to a quite horrific confession from Craig, and we welcome back an old friend from beyond the grave. John and John Paul rock up for some Netflix Pitches, Jean & John go for the car on Mr & Mrs and on the last ever TAP News, everything goes a bit mental....... We blame it on Brexit. And much much more! Thanks to EVERYONE for tuning in over the last 30 episodes. It's been a big drunken hoot. Keep em peeled for news of our new house. xx

We're back for the penultimate TAPcast! Tune in for the 2nd last show, EVER (We're moving to a bigger hoose. More on that soon) which does NOT feature Craig as he's away recycling but it does feature melba toast and shite shoaps on cruises. We speak to Russell about his new job, discuss our favourite pubs and discover the inner workings of the mystical Weegie Board. Chris talks about doing the splits, silent letters are given a slap and John and John Paul come in for some Netflix Pitches. If you're hungry after all of that, THERE'S A YELLA PAGES THERE!!! ......

WE'RE BACK ......... (Again) Apologies for the delay folks, we have been working on some top secret stuff but aim to get back to being merely unreliable asap. Episode 8 is a stuffed episode where we discover what jobs the boys would do in the eventuality of war, Russell speaks in tongues and we learn that ANYHING can be deep fried. We talk the general erection and restaurant runners as well as getting to the bottom of our TAP v Food preferences. TAP News brings God's will and Listener Pish brings us John Paul's holidays. A brand new bit "Netflix Pitches" is launched with a couple of sure fire blockbusters. Dive in! Share! xx