Touché El Douché

Trevor talks about recovering from depression and how he met his new girlfriend. Since he’s about to meet her for the first time in person this week, he muses about the situation... during a wind storm. This is of course all the metaphor Trevor needs to surmise that his misogyny might need to take a back seat for a while.

BILL COSBY’S DOING STANDUP AGAIN! Oh. Ahem. Sorry. Maybe that’s not the best place to start. So Shawn got fired and can’t. He just can’t, you guys. He had to get his resumé in order. Touché El Resumé. So Mike from Prime and Jimie and Trevor discuss the death of Prime and Rogue Intel, the network TED used to be on, and also? BILL COSBY’S DOING STANDUP AGAIN!!!

Alright fuckers, time to start taking this shit seriously. We are auditioning to get on to Rogue Intel, and submitting this episode to them. Knowing full well that the staff and podcasters on Rogue will be voting based on this episode, Shawn, Trevor and Jimie ramble on about the following things: Actors that played superheroes who kept their suit, the house that Shawn's trying to buy, negative reactions to Amy Schumer’s new Netflix special, and then after the break, there are two searches: one for a daft cunt, and the other for a connection with Frank.

Shawn comes back to life in an amazing tale of who cares and he brings a friend with him, that of Rogue Intel’s Prime Podcast’s co-host Patrick Duffy, to help tell the story of how Trevor was a guest on their show, causing the episode not to air (you thought he was bad on THIS show). Later on in the show we learn that Shawn is buying a house, that Jimie’s youngest daughter was in a car accident and that Don Rickles is dead. On the break, TED celebrates the comedy stylings of Rickles by playing an old bit by Bob Newhart.

The Open Boat by Stephen Crane is a story about a group of men who are abandoned in a lifeboat that decide to carry on despite the fact that one of their crew has died. This is what has happened with the show this week. Shawn is dead and Jimie and Trevor decide to carry on without him, electing to pretend that he’s not, and will simply be back next week when he gets back from a vacation with his wife. Frank Beasley is later called to pretend that Shawn is still alive, well and merely in Sarasota for a family thing.

On their first podcast in over two years, Janine and Trevor pick up right where they left off yelling about Star Trek and loving Orson Welles. There's other stuff too, but who cares? --- Our new birthday is April Fools Day!!! Enjoy this episode which marks the latest incarnation of TED! Or just listen to it.

Back in October, Trevor strolled into an ice cream store and hit on a woman, only to take her to an Italian restaurant. Little did he know that woman was Mama June, Honey Boo Boo’s mom, and he had walked onto the ‘set’ of her new show. Zoiks! Then after the break, Shawn and Trevor talk with Jimie about their other podcast, Table Reads, and how, apparently on the latest episode, Trevor said the N word more than actual N words do.

Storm’s a brewin’. The night the lights go out in Georgia, Trevor decides to open up all the windows, shut off all the lights and do a podcast... an aural medium. Good idea, stupid. Then later, Trevor plays an interview with his uncle Buster about women and dating, but as his uncle is elderly and very drunk, why, it gets more awkward than showering with your family. As Paul Simon said, these are the days miracles and wonder.

Storm’s a brewin’. The night the lights go out in Georgia, Trevor decides to open up all the windows, shut off all the lights and do a podcast... an aural medium. Good idea, stupid. Then later, Trevor plays an interview with his uncle Buster about women and dating, but as his uncle is elderly and very drunk, why, it gets more awkward than showering with your family. As Paul Simon said, these are the days miracles and wonder.

Trevor and Shawn tell the story of when they cosplayed as Jay and Silent Bob for the open of ‘Strike Back,’ and this, understandably, goes to on to a lengthy discussion of mall security guard movies and then we go on to Trevor's insomnia... oh boy. Then Jimie, Trevor and Shawn converse about Joe Pesci’s great singing career, and then end the show by trying to decide what is the Best Comedy of All Time and what isn’t.

Hey, the podcast everyone forgot about is back with yet another non-memorable and non-regular installment. In celebration of St. Patrick’s Day (today, bitches!) Trevor gets drunk and talks about how well things have been going at Ferris Wheelhouse, the perks of dating a black girl as a white man, and how a local undomesticated cat that he feeds will kill and eats robins but turns his nose at a piece of sausage. BTW, that’s not a metaphor about snooty pussy.

Kellyanne Cuntway is at it again. She believes that microwaves are spy devices, which would be fine if she was Inspector Gadget, but she assures us that she is not. Meanwhile, Samuel L. Jackson is upset that English black actors don’t have to coon it up early in their career. The second half of this week’s show closes with talk of how the JFK assassination is taught in Israel and Trump’s two state solution.

Jimie is late arriving to the show, so to bide the time, Shawn and Trevor get in a physical fight... with a jar of strawberries. Then they talk for a moment with Freak of Nature Frank Beasley, who is only momentarily available. When Jimie does arrive, we learn that the Christopher Walken/Johnny Depp movie ‘Nick of Time’ was seen and then later completely forgotten by Shawn. The second half of the show is crazy politics and crazy movies. Crazy Trump theories, crazy Alex Jones theories, crazy schlock movies like Greg Araki and John Waters fare, ‘The Baby,’ ‘Bad Boy Bubby,’ ‘Gummo,’ ‘Vernon, Florida’ and... ‘Coming to America?’

Stupid Leishia thinks she can sue us if we don’t stop saying and showing her name, so with that in mind, Trevor burns her love box because Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia Leishia. Also? Trump might be racist and Bannon might be a Nazi.

The internet has been hurting for a good instrumental version of the beloved series' theme song. Here now is a recreation of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 theme song from the Joel years by Trevor Thompson. The one from the Mike years is also on this Soundcloud page. Trevor has also remixed all of the official versions of the song and made the Love Theme Remix, which has been embraced by MiSTies everywhere! It's all over the internet, and this page too, so if you can't find it, try this thing called Google.

The show starts off with technical issues, at first without Jimie, but the new producer, Norman, fixes things with his incompetence. The gang talks about Leishia, Miles Teller, Trevor’s crappy money situation and conservative press queer Milo Yiannopoulis. After the break, they discuss Leishia, Trevor’s Friday night booty call, WalMart’s ‘free’ donuts, and the possible end to a radio feud between Gregg ‘Opie’ Hughes and Howard ‘Hoo Hoo’ Stern.

Trevor went to an open mic that turned out to be a black poetry slam, and this leads to a discussion about SNL’s latest Kellyanne Conway sketch, and Dave Chappelle’s visit to Sarasota. Then the gang discuss an incessant MiSTie who wants a lossless mix of the Love Theme Remix, baby ghost stories, Trevor and Leishia’s friendship status and the show ends with a reunion with “Freak of Nature” Frank Beasley.

For any of you nostalgic for the Obama Administration, this week’s show was recorded some time back in those days... probably in the fall of last year. But what did Shawn, Trevor and Jimie discuss? Nothing, unless you count pan handling, Jimie’s grandmother's antics, suicide stories, cop stories, parental advisory with music and movies, that movie they made, ‘The Process,’ and Trevor’s glorified panhandling side business for sharpening his comedic jabs: Yucks 4 Bucks.

Shawn and Jimie are at it again, discussing (albeit heatedly) the negative reaction to Donald Trump’s presidency. Trevor is also there. Later, the gang talk about The Vaglica Show when Trevor plays a clip of him calling in as The Ghost of Orson Welles. This leads in to Jimie talking about the drinking problems of a woman he’s apparently not fucking.

So what we were late. You act like things are normal. This isn’t a show with tons of fans, ya know. There’s no demand. We are Touché El Douché, the podcast that dictates, takes notes and then gets in trouble for passing them during Home Ec. On this show, Trevor, Shawn and Jimie wax interesting about the first week of Trump’s presidency and the finer points of Westworld. Then Jimie bails during break to fuck a drunk white bitch. Too bad it wasn’t Kelly Conway, that would’ve been a great, if not awkward, interview.