Womanly Art of Self-Defense Podcast

Self-defense the Hapkido Way Self-defense is a way of life. Ever since my first day of training, when I was about 17 years old, I knew it would be with me forever. Training with others always is useful, but even when I haven't had partners, I've practiced: mentally and physically. I run drills in my head, solo drills on an open floor, and practice kicks, punches, and blocks. BUT...I always miss training with other people. It's difficult to do a lock on yourself. Luckily, my son is willing to begin training with me, again, now that he's taller than me! Keep me in your thoughts... Back in August, Charlene Jones and I had a great conversation about martial arts and why I began studying. I mentioned a few tricks, tools, and tips. This is a nice addition to the chat she and I had ealier in 2016. Listening to this interview made me really want to practice a few locks!  Maybe it'll motivate you, too! Enjoy this episode and remember to leave me a comment or message. www.womanlyartofselfdefense.com

BOUNCE BACK LIKE A BALL FROM A WALL Are you feeling like a boulder landed on you after this election cycle? I'm struggling to get out from under the damn thing. So, I need to build my resilience. But, building your resilience isn't just necessary when you're disppointed about an election. Here are 5 science-backed strategies you can use, starting today! Drumroll, please... change the narrative face your fears practice self-compassion meditate/practice mindfulness/gratefulness cultivate forgiveness   If you'd like more information about building resilience, check out www.actionforhappiness.org. Afterall, I got these great tips from something they shared on Facebook.  

Are you stuck like a truck sinking in mud? Charlene Jones is an expert in coaching others to identify what's getting them stuck, and more importantly, how to get unstuck. In part 2, we discuss dreams, dream journaling, and how to use your dreams to help you better understand what's happening in your life. It's fascinating stuff! She helped me unpack a dream about spiders - and I hate spiders - which was key to understanding the message. It was so obvious! Charlene knows a lot about the brain, how we process information, and how it both helps and hurts us.  If you missed part one, be sure to check it out.  

How do you deal with emotion? Do you drink or eat excessively? Blow up? Manipulate people? Charlene Jones has spent the better part of forty years exploring what makes us tick by first understanding herself, and then helping others to better understand themselves. She does this through meditation (teaching and practicing), dream work, and coaching.  Check out her bio: Initiation in a Tibetan Temple, a three month retreat, walking on a glacier in Norway, riding in a four-seater Cessna through the mountains in New Zealand, sailing the Gulf of Mexico during tornado season, drinking chang with Mongel men: all these adventures and more spill through the pages of Charlene Jones' upcoming memoir, MY IMPOSSIBLE LIFE. Rising through the ashes of a three day trama of being held hostage by two armed criminals at the age of sixteen, Charlene shares her journey of healing through meditation, dreams, and a variety of other healing methods to bring her to a place of love, peace, and contentment.  In part one of this interview, Charlene shares her incredible journey and the importance of understanding and embracing our emotions so that we can heal.  Charlene says, "When we're not afraid of our emotions, then we stay connected and grounded."  You can learn more about Charlene by visiting Soul Sciences. Read Charlene's current books: Medicine Buddha, Medicine Mind The Stain  

Prime your brain for positive gain! Priming is the unconscious affect that one stimulus has on our response to another stimulus. For example: If I prime you with the color yellow, then you're more likely to identify a banana later, because yellow and banana are assoicated in your memory. You'll do this more quickly than if you weren't primed for yellow.  Words, images, and experiences can be used to prime our brains for future stimulus.  Our brain focuses on what we tell it to focus on, and it will search for stimulus that supports what we told it to look for.  If you want to increase your performance during a workout, prime yourself with a short list of words like: agility, strength, endurance, speed, and intensity. 5 Tips for Priming Your Brain: Create word lists Create affirmations Meditate or use some other mindfulness activity (breathing) De-clutter your environment Exercise BONUS TIP: Turn off your TV and stop news-binging. The media tends to prime us for fear, anger, and sadness. Here are a few suggestions for word lists: Success, prosperity, progress, fame, gain Will power, determined, resolute, backbone, grit Calm, cool, harmony, tranquil, still Intelligent, brainy, bright, brilliant, resourceful Financially secure, firm, in the black, out of the red, debt-free Achieve, triumph, win, attain, accomplish 4 Simple Steps to Creating Affirmations: Write in the 1st person: I am Write in the positive: I am a healthy person. Include an emotional component: I love the way I feel when I make healthy choices. Write affirmations in the present: I am fit and strong.  Source: "Affirmations: The Why, What, How, and What if..." Psychology Today, March 12, 2014 Additional sources: "Happy Brain, Happy Life" Psychology Today, Aug. 2, 2011; "How to Hack Your Brain" Lifehacker, Jan. 31, 2011   AFFIRMATION APPS: Affirmable Positive Affirmations Lite/Postitive Thinking My Daily Affirmations Free (Search the Google Play store) Badass Woman in History: Marie Stopes Safety Tip of the week: Make sure you know how to get your car out of sticky situation. Keep a thin board in your trunk. Stay smart. Stay safe. Kori    

Growth Mindset Portrayed by Female Leads in Movies Todays' Topics: Top 10 Female Movie Leads with a Growth Mindset Badass Woman in History Moment Safety Tip of the week La Femme Nikita GI Jane Mulan Bend it Like Beckham The Quick and the Dead Electra Akeelah and the Bee Beauty Shop Katara from The Last Airbender animated series Mae in Near Dark Common themes: Unwillingness to accept how others define their world or them in it. A willingness to take risks to achieve something more for themselves Demonstrate a learning view of failure More resources: Growth Mindset on Pinterest Class Dojo/Big Ideas Honorable mentions (without female leads): A Knight's Tale, Cool Runnings, Searching for Bobby Fisher, Redbelt, In Pursuit of Happiness, Stand & Deliver Badass Woman in History: Helen Keller 1st deaf-blind person to earn a BA (Radcliff, 1904) A suffragette, pacifist, and birth control supporter Authored 12 books Credited for introducing the Akita dog breed to the U.S. Advocated for people with disabilities Awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom (1964) Member of the Socialist Party of America and the Industrial Workers of the World Safety Tip of the Week: When traveling somewhere new, get the lay of the land. If you're staying in a hotel, ask staff members about the area. Are there any places that should be avoided? If so, where and when? Get the perspective of more than one person. Even though you probably have a map app on your phone, pick up a local print map of your immediate area. Become familiar with the major streets. Know where you are in relationship to the nearest hospital, bus/train, and police stations.  

Do you have a fixed mindset, a growth mindset or both? According to Dr. Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, it's possible to have one or the other, and sometimes even both! We can have a fixed mindset for a particular area of our life, but have a growth mindset for every other area.  A key thing to remember: Learn to recognize when you're in a fixed mindset. How? Your language will be absolute, and oftentimes negative. For example, "I can't lose twenty pounds. Everyone in my family is just big-boned." "I can't do algebra. I'm not smart enough." "I can't run a mile! I can barely walk a block." People with a fixed mindset don't like challenges, see failure as a threat to their intelligence, and don't see learning as a process. Growth mindset people enjoy the process of learning and believe that, with effort, success can be theirs. Failure is viewed as a necessary part of the process.  How can you develop a growth mindset? Believe that your brain works like a muscle. With the right training, our brains can develop.  Use the word "yet" when describing skills you want to develop. Affirm things that can be controlled. You can't control your height, but you can control your weight. Surround yourself with growth mindset people Source: 4 Ways to Develop a Growth Mindset in Students Source: 25 Ways to Develop a Growth Mindset Source: How can you change from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset? Badass Women in History Moment Lucy Parsons - Visit Elizabeth Kerri Mahon's site for a great write up! Safety Tip of the Week This is a reminder: Don't broadcast your vacations on social media. Song credits Dirt Rhodes  Take a Chance Feeling Good Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0 

This episode of the Womanly Art of Self-Defense is sponsored by Ardent Media where passion meets purpose. Top 15 Safety Tips  Always have a way home from wherever you are Always have money for the bus, a taxi, a ferry, or a train Always have a fully charged phone Always have at least a 1/2 tank of gas Always walk with your head up Always walk like you've got somewhere to be Always think of what you wear or carry as a potential weapon Always know where you've parked your car Always lock your doors and windows Always ask for ID before unlocking your door Always watch people who've entered your home Always listen to your gut Always check your car before getting inside Always have a plan of "escape" when out on a date with someone new Always keep track of your drink Badass Women in History Moment: Victoria Woodhull In 1868, she owned the first female-run stock brokerage company In 1870, she founded and published the Woodhull & Clafin's Weekly, a radical paper that was the first to publish the English translation of Karl Marx's Communist Manifesto. In 1872, she ran for US President with (quite possibly) the abolitionist Frederick Douglas as her running mate on the Equal Rights Party ticket. Safety Tip of the Week: Know how to change your spare tire. THANK YOU and SHOUT OUT Your comments and reviews of the show are appreciated and help other people, like you, discover the podcast. THANK YOU for rating and reviewing the Womanly Art of Self-Defense on iTunes and Stitcher. Check out Jesse's new podcast, Turning Cartwheels.

BE CONSISTENT!  You've probably been told that once or twice, huh? And it's definitely important, but... What if consistency is holding you back in some way? Consistency is us in our comfort zone which means we'll likely experience steady performance. Pretty cool, right? Maybe, maybe not. It can be good and it can be bad.  What if the thing you're consistent about is smoking, excessive drinking, drug use, or indulging in your favorite ice cream?   You get the idea. Improvisational mindset (IM) is optimal anxiety leading to maximized performance.  It's us saying, "yes, and," to opportunities that might scare us a little.  As you learn new things, keep this in mind: We all experience 4 levels of learning. LEVELS OF LEARNING Unconscious incompetent (We don't know what we don't know.) Conscious incompetent (Now we know what we don't know.) Conscious competent (We know what we're doing.) Unconscious competence (We can do the activity without thinking about it.) Be patient with yourself as you endeavor to change bad habits, instill new ones, and become a stronger, more confident person. What are you doing to shake up your routine?  Useful links The Science of Breaking Out of Your Comfort Zone Build Better Habits with the Improvisational Mindset GE Personal Security Kit (for apartments) Sarah E. Goode The Five Minute Journal      

Are you Pretty Loaded? You might not be, yet, but by the end of this episode you might be inspired to get there.  Beth Warford created Pretty Loaded as a direct response to a scary encounter she had with some young buck who'd stalked her. Now, she and her small team are creating situational awareness PSAs and providing training internationally. Her down-to-earth, practical approach to self-defense is a perfect fit for the Womanly Art of Self-Defense. Check out this Psychology Today article for more information about the Grayson-Stein Study that Beth mentioned.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.   Let's start at the beginning. You want to create a new habit. It's something small like increasing your physical activity throughout the day.  If you follow Dr. B.J. Fogg's advice or author, Stephen Guise's suggestions, then you'd begin by doing two things: Choose something that can be accomplished in 30 seconds or less Make whatever it is so stupid small that you can't fail. As you begin implementing your new habit, you might try sandwiching it between two habits you already have. For example, after you wake up, you probably go to the bathroom. What if before you wash your hands, you do your 30-second exercise? The key to success is remembering that you're only required to do that one, small habit. If it's a single pull-up, and you do ten instead, that's great! But if you only do one the next time, that's great, too! Don't get after yourself with negative self-talk because this time you didn't do ten.  (E+L=M: Event plus language equals motivation, remember? Listen to WAEP6 for a refresher.) Great Books About Habit Formation The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg Mini-Habits: Smaller Habits, Bigger Results, Stephen Guise More Resources James Clear Headspace HabitBull How to Increase Your Willpower Watch reality T.V. Willpower can be contagious! Choose wisely. Have a snack. Our brains use more energy for self-control than almost anything else. Keeping energy levels up and consistent helps us sustain our willpower. Watch a funny video. Humor helps restore depleted willpower and helps us get back on track with difficult tasks. Take a nap. Have a little caffeine.  Exercise for as little as 5-10 minutes. Meditate for as little as 5 minutes/day. Willpower is like a muscle. It can get overused and exhausted. Take care of yourself, and your increased willpower will take care of you! Check out Kelly McGonigal's book, The Willpower Instinct for more information about I will, I won't, and I want power. Next week: Beth from PrettyLoaded.      

Get what you expect. Here's how.   Believe in yourself. Believe in others. Rinse and repeat.   Is it really that simple? Yes and no, but mostly, yes. It's all about creating a positive mindset, which for some, is admittedly more difficult than it is for others, but can be done. Here's what we need to understand: Pygmalion Effect: The high expectations a person of influence has of us results in higher expectations of ourselves, and thus better performance outcomes. Golem Effect: (The opposite of the Pygmalion Effect.) The low expectations a person of influence has of us results in lower expectations of ourselves, and thus poor performance outcomes. Galatea Effect: Our own high or low expectations of ourselves without regard to ouside influences. Navajo Proverb: Thoughts are like arrows: once released, they strike their mark. Guard them well or one day you may be your own target. You get what you expect, positively, or negatively. Why not expect the best?   How do these effects make their mark in your life? Let me know what you think in the comments!  

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones    Your Language Sucks! (Here's how you can change that.)   Years ago, during my early training & development career, I learned about E+L=M.  The concept is simple: Event plus the language used to describe the event equals our motivation to act. The event is always the same. For example: (E) Dinner date with a new person (L) Sh/e is going to think I'm a complete dork/loser/slob/idiot (M) You cancel the date OR while on the date your actions support the language in your head. You might say things like, "I'm such an idiot for ____." Or maybe you spill things. Or maybe you go on and on about how you suck at your job. If you change the language you're using before that date to: Sh/e is going to have a great time chatting with me tonight about _____. Then your motivation to go on the date increases and the nervousness you might have had, is now reframed as "excitement." The language we use guides our thoughts.  Shhhh... your reticular activating system (RAS) is listening.   The RAS likes to filter things for us and does its job super efficiently. It keeps us in tune to things like our name and potential danger, but it also focuses on the things we tell ourselves, so that when we interact with our day-to-day environment, its on the look out for information to filter in that supports what we're thinking or saying. OUCH! That could be really scary, huh? You might have the mindset that this is a bunch of mumbojumbo, but is it? Have you ever told yourself that you were going to spill your coffee or something else, and then a moment later, you did? Thus reinforcing your clumsiness? Self-talk can lift you up or bring you down, and your RAS is there to support you either way! Your challenge this week is two-fold: For the next 5-7 days pay close attention to how you're describing the events in your life. Are you using positive or negative language? Are you finding that the outcomes are supporting your positive or negative thoughts?  If you have or work with children, pay close attention to the language they're using to describe an event. Can you give them the positive language to reframe the event? Share your thoughts in the comments. What discoveries did you make about your language?      

We all know what intuition is, right? But what if I told you it's one of your body's superpowers? Tune in for the science behind intuition and 14 ways you can develop more of it in your daily life. And don't miss the Safety Tip of the Week! Here are a few more resources that might interest you: Sounds True Creative Visualization, Shakti Gawain 7 Books About Dream Meanings to Help You Decode Your Thoughts The Science Behind Intuition   14 Ways to Develop Your Intuition Meditate Notice everything you can using your five senses Keep a dream journal Get creative Test your hunches Pay attention to how your body is feeling Escape the daily grind. Take a break from your schedule. Get outside. Go hiking. Go fishing. Go tent camping. Recall a recent negative experience in as much detail as possible. Before it happened, did you have any feelings warning you to make a different decision? Feel out your situations. When we're fearful, it's usually because we're over-thinking. Intuition is a feeling activity. Do something repetitive. Dance. Chop veggies. Play an instrument. These types of activities calm your thinking self. Stay true to your values. Pay close attention to how you feel when you say/do something that's out of sync with your values. That feeling is your intuitive self saying, "HEY! Something's out of whack, here." Try to get a sense for a person before you actually begin talking with them. (And before other people's perspectives get in the way.) Let go of your critical mind.    What are you going to do to increase your new superpower?   Coming up ... Willpower: Your Other Superpower The Beth, the founder of Pretty Loaded          

Curious how this podcast got its name? The Suffragettes, led by Edith Garrud, inspired me to name this podcast the Womanly Art of Self-Defense. While bouncing around name ideas, I conducted a few surveys to get an understanding of how the name might be received. Some thought the name was degrading, sexist, and marginalized women. That couldn't be further from the truth!  These women are the earliest Western models of wearing a dress, using an umbrella, and a few other tools, to defend themselves. They are one image of womanly. There are others, especially now. And that's the point. Being womanly isn't restricted to a single definition or image   Edith Garrud was the first female martial arts instructor in the Western world. She trained the Bodyguard unit of the Women's Social and Political Union. - source: Wikipedia You can learn more about Tony Wolf on his website and see his books on Amazon. Remember not to get monkey trapped!     

Is fear holding you back? What if I told you that you can get it under control with 3 different techniques? This quick episode is packed with great info! I share the three components of emotion, a useful definition of fear (so we're all on the same page), the Lazarus Theory, the 5 fears we all have in common (and every fear belongs in one of the five categories), 3 techniques you can begin practicing today to handle your fear, and the safety tip of the week. Oh, and stay tuned for the quote! 

How would you rate your daily level of situational awareness?  In this episode, I introduce a common definition of SA, explain focus lock, normalcy bias, and establishing a baseline, plus The Color Code by fire arms expert Jeff Cooper. The great info doesn't stop there! I share former CIA agent Jason Hansen's pre-incident indicator tips, a few games to help you practice and develop your new skill, share the safety tip of the week, and challenge you to identify a relatively famous quote.  

WHO'S IN CHARGE HERE ANYWAY? What part of our brain is in charge of our fear response? Is it true that we run or fight? Can you easily identify aggressive body language? In this episode, I identify where fear comes from, what really happens when we're faced with a threat, and introduce several types of behavior that are typically viewed as aggressive. Some are more subtle than others.  And stay tuned for your safety tip of the week. It's all about locks. (but not the Hapkido variety.)