You Are Okay

Are you about to take a leap of faith? Make a life-altering decision? 

Paternal relationships with focus on the girl child are most important for security, comfort, self esteem and balance in the family unit. The physiological gift of power, love and strength from a father foregrounds the girl child's interaction with the male in society. Whether it be biological, adoptive or an Uncle, fathers are important to a girls child and if you are growing without one or were abandoned, I pray the man in your life nourish you with love, security and hope to grow your confidence.

What is therapy? Why do people go? How often should we go? Why are people generally hesitant to go?

In conversation with Thina Maqubela. 

In conversation with Luvuyo TakaMivuyo Ngxiki.

In conversation with Yolanda Mbolompo, founder of Afro Bae

The uncovering of purpose is an ongoing discovery. It's okay if you don't have immediate answers, it doesn't mean your life doesn't have a purpose. You're allowed to be here. There's value to you being here.

Losing the will to live is a state of despair and numbness; Literally losing the drive to survive.

"True forgiveness is when you can say 'Thank you for that experience,” Oprah Winfrey.

“Anxiety is your body's natural response to stress. It is a feeling of fear or apprehension about what's to come. The first day of school, going to a job interview, or giving a speech may cause most people to feel fearful and nervous.”

You won't always be good at it, and that's okay. Success rarely ever rest on just one quality. 

You were not always an addict. I wish you strength and courage in your attempts to stumble back to the place you remember. The trail back will not be smooth, the self-destruction the addiction has collected will trip you time and time again. Keep stumbling, nonetheless.

We often expect and anticipate worst case, and it scares us so much that we don't proceed. What we perhaps fail to entertain is that if the worst case did happen, as adults....we are actually likely to survive it. The consequences is hardly as dire as what it would be if we were kids.

It is a privilege to know explicitly that you would be loved even if you weren't perfect; not everyone has had this privilege. How terrifying it must be to never be sure what would happen to you if you do not get it perfectly. I understand why perfectionism would then be your go to strategy to avoid rejection, ridicule and shame....i mean what's to criticize if it's perfect.

To the people who missed the burial ceremonies, to the people who wonder if the death was their fault and if the hospitalization was a mistake; to the people who wish they'd gone home more often and to the people who feel like the magnitude of the ceremony was a big let down and wasn't befitting. Strength to you all

Do you have a problem with it or do you have a problem with the fact that YOU did it?  Here is to lowering of pedestals, admitting vulnerability and extending ourselves compassion. You're a brilliant human, but human nonetheless

Security is perhaps one of the most fundamental. Very little growth can occur if we are feeling insecure.

The need for certainty is such a stumbling block in  many of our attempts to make courageous scary moves. You're never going to be certain. Prepared maybe, but never quite sure. Don't let that stop you. We have foresight, but we can't see into the future.

Dealing with hindsight bias and self-forgiveness. Information looks so much clearer in hindsight. In retrospect we perceive things to have been way more predictable than what they were at the time. The experience taught you better, I hope you can forgive yourself for not knowing and doing better at the time.